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Mrs. Bows Her Better Half Becomes Pea of the Household Cool In First Stages of Ins^nit. [Copyright, lie*. l.y <\ B. Lewis.] I WAS looking oat of the front window when Mr. Dowser came home from the olfiee. I expected to see him kick the gate open with his usual vim and look around the front yard for a lost clothespin to rind fault over, but he handled the gate in the gentlest manner and opened the front ? -*..11? ? ^1.1 aoor as careiunv us uu uiu m<uu. To my surprise, as I met him in the hall be kissed me and wanted to know if I was tired. I gave him a sharp look, thinking the heat might have affected his head, but he apix*ared to be in his normal condition. As the day had been excessively sultry I only had a picked up dinner. I expected-he would pound on the table and ask if I thought he was some two dollar a week boarder, but he ate heartily and did not utter one complaint. The cook burned her hand and broke several dishes with a crash just as dinner was over, but Mr. Bowser didn't toto rm ?r>d doelaro that he would stop $10 out of her wages and $5 out of iny t'? ? i t I , I ? mi ?????? A TRAMP APPEARED AND CALLED MR. BOWSER "OLD MAN." pin money. On the contrary, he said that accidents wore liable to happen in anybody's kitchen and suggested that I get the sweet oil and bind up the burn. Mr. Bowser sat down and smoked for half an hour without once cussing the man who made the cigar. It was then that I began to be anxious about him. He generally uses ten cuss words to one cigar. As we sat in the door to enjoy the breeze a watermelon peddler came along and shrieked out forty different times, but Mr. Bowser did not appear id hear him. For a minute my heart beat so tumultuously that I could hardly get my breath. A little later a tramp appeared and called Mr. Bowser "old man" and asked him for 10 cents. I had goose flesh, and the cat rolled her eyes, but no murder was done. The man-got 10cents and went away whistling. When the butcher boy came with the meat for breakfast and left a bill for SHE WAS DRESSED FOR THE UNDER I 70 cents I shook ail over, and the cat sneaked into the house. But there was no tragedy. Mr. Bowser glanced at the bill and felt for change and paid it and didn't even speak of it. Ten minutes later the cook told me that we must have an extra piece of ice to keep things through the night, and I had to ask Mr. Bowser for a dime. He handed it out without a word. On two or three previous occasions he had charged me with wheeling the refrigerator before the kitchen ransre in order to melt the ice faster and send him to the poorhouse. A hoodlum passing on the other side s>f the street threw a potato-at us and narrowly missed Mr. Dowser's head. I fully expected a tragedy that would fill columns of the newspapers for days and days, and I believe I lost consciousness for a moment. When I came to Mr. Bowser was simply sauntering around the front yard. When the cook returned from ordering the ice she spoke of Mr. Dowser's strange attitude and asked if I were not alarmed. She said that her husband had acted just that way two or :hree days before lie went insane and killed three men and had to be sent tc a lunatic asylum. It was her opinior >er's Diary ceful Suddenly, to the Alarm [ Suspects Her Employer Is y and Leaves the Premises that I ought to make a great effort to arouse him. A few minutes later I hinted to him that I was expecting mother down almost any day. As a usual thing when I drop such a hint he rises up oil his hind legs and gets rod in the face and claws the air. but 011 this oeeasion he replied that she was a dear old thing and that he would meet her at the depot with a carriage. The cat looked at me and I looked at the cat, but wo were too amazed for words. After 1 had managed to draw a long + .Hid lUiol.-n nfV mv lothnrsrv I oh UH-cAHi turn _ served to Mr. Bowser That I had spoilt two hours tlujt afternoon looking over liis love letters. This has been a sore point with him for years. Before we were married he wrote me two or , throe of the most gushing letters every day, but any reference to them a year afterward always started a row. On this occasion I mentioned that he had called me his "dear, darling, angel pet" thirty-one times in the same letter, but lie smiled and patted me on the shoulder and said that I was all of that. At 10 o'clock we entered the house to go to bed. There was a caster from pno of the chairs lying loose on the floor, and I actually called Mr. Bowser's attention to it, hoping he would raise a row. On several occasions when such things have caught his no! tice he has charged me with taking the ax or the crowbar and deliberately smashing up the furniture in order to send him into bankruptcy the sooner. This time he picked the caster up, wound a' piece of paper round the shank and placed it back in the chair leg. The cat looked at me in a mean| ing way and crawled under the lounge, i Intuition warned her that something ! must soon break loose. ! While Mr. Bowser was wandering ! about the sitting room and softly hum| miner to himself the cook beckoned me ! out into the hall. She was dressed for I the street and had a bundle under her arm. She hated to leave me alone in the house, but she feared for her own safety and would go to her sister's to | stay all night. Her poor husband had I hummed and walked around in just ; such a way a few hours before he went | mad and suddenly rushed for the ax. I tried to quiet her fears, but in vain, j The most she would do was to promise : to be back at T o'clock in the morning, I and in case the police had removed Mr. 1 Bowser to an asylum she would get ? breakfast for me and give me all her ; sympathy. i As Mr. Bowser stood looking out of ; the back window for fully five minI utes I expected he would declare he was going to sleep on the grass that * night to try the moon cure, but he finally turned away with a smile and : said he thought *the weather, would be i cooler next day. I asked him if his : head ached or he had a pain 111 the : back of his neck or felt chilly, but he i assured me that he never felt better in ! his life. i It is now 11 o'clock. Mr. Bowser has ! gone up to bod. and the cat and I are ; looking at each other and wondering ' about it. Mr. Bowser has had a thou 'STREET AND HAD A BUNDLE IE11 ARM. sand different fads and I have written them up, but I can't understand this one. Is it the precursor of insanity, or is ho only being goodV I have been told J that now and then every husband does ' have a ''good" spell and that it never I results in a calamity, but I cannot repress my anxiety. I had rather have i Bowser as Bowser. | Have just telephoned the family doctor. He savs there is no danger and that I had better go to bed. but unless Mr. Bowser gets out of bed tomorrow ! morning to yell around for his necktie, I seeks and collar button and to declare that I have hidden them to spite him I shall break windows or something to recall him to himself. M. QUAD. i i Sew to Ilim. F;:t ? IIow does yez loike codfish ! j balls? Mike?Faith, an' I nfver 'tended one, br.t it's hi? toimes I've had down at the firemen's hop.?Lippincott's. The Absnrd Lowpr ('lassen. "We've had to dismiss our coach man." I "For what reason?" "Oh. he sot too ambitious. He wanted to be paid regularly."?Life. I When the life of Mrs. Ruff was j 8 hanging in the balance she used I Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and was restored to health. Ker experience made her the firm friend of the medicine that cured her. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription has no t'-tnsl in its cures of womanly I disease. It establishes regularity, dries thi drains that weaken women, heals inflammation . and ulceration and cures female weakness. "Five years ago when my life was hanging in the balance. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription was brought to my home,'' writes Mrs. Caroline Ruff. Director of German Orphan's Home, residing at 339 Rowe na Street, Detroit, Mich. "I took it, and, it won me back to health. Ever since that time, I have been its firm friend. We frequently have mothers come to our ' Home' who are suffering with uterine troubles, inflammation. tumors and ulcerations. Our great remedy for a female trouble is Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, and we have found nothing so far which would so quickiiy cure the disease, relieve inflammation and stop pains. It is a good friend to women." Dr. Piercote Common Sense Medical Adviser, in paper covers, is sent free on receipt of 21 one-cent stamps to pay expense of mailing only. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. APHORISMS. The heart gets weary, but never gets old.?Shenstone. The only way to have a friend is to be one.?Emerson. What we learn with pleasure we never forget.?Merrier. Opposition inflames the enthusiast, never converts him.?Semller. True merit is like a river?the deeper it is the less noise it makes.?Haziitt. The eye of the master will do more work than both of his hands.?Franklin. ~ Experience takes dreadfully high school wages, but he teaches like no other.?Carlyle. [ Kindness is the only charm permitted to the aged; it is the coquetry of white hairs.--Feuillet. If we had no failings ourselves we should not take so much pleasure in finding out those of others.?Rochefoucauld. For Over Sixty Years. Mrs Window's Soothing Svrup has been in use for over sixty vearb by millions of mothers for their children while teething, with perfect I It soothes the child, softens the gum?, allay? fill pain, cure? wind colic, and in the best remedy for Diarrhoea. It will relieve the poor little sufferer immediately. Sold by Druggist in every, part of the world. TweDty-hve cents a bottle. Be sure to ask for Mrs. "Winslow's SootbiDg Syrup," and take no other kind, tf SIAMESE BELIEFS. i Some Peculiar Notions of a Very Superstitious People. "The Siamese are a very superstitious people," says Ernest Young, author of the "Kingdom of the Yellow Rule." "They have many peculiar explanations of natural phenomena. Thunder, for instance, is 'the sky crying.' They'* believe that in the realms above is a horrible giant, whose wife has a violent and uncertain temper. When they quur roi tiie ecno or nis voice comes m juag, roiling notes from tlic cloiuls. If he is very angry lie throws his hatchet at his unruly spouse, and when this ponderous weapon strikes the floor or* heaven the thunderbolt falls through and cone's to earth. "Falling stars are accounted for by the fact that the angels occasionally indulge in torch throwing at one another. When these same beings all insist upon getting into the bath at once I the water splashes over the side, and it ! rains. The winds that sigh in the j night are the voices of babies that have lost their way in their travels to the land beyond the grave. "When a Siamese dies lie is not buried, but his corpse, fully dressed and then wrapped in a winding sheet, is placed in a sitting posture in a copper urn. A i ^ ~ "'"I $ O Vwl lUl.'U IS III 1:1.1 1UVMIU, through this a mixture of quicksilver and honey is poured into the body. In this way it is kept for a long time, often for years. Eventually *t is burned, and the ashes are carefully preserved. The souls of those whose bones at least are not burned are supposed to become slaves of a horrid taskmaster with a head like a dog. a human body and the temper of a fiend. He sits for ail time with his feet in the trvs 01' hell, and it fs the duty of his slaws to keep these liros from growing too hot. To do this They must carry water in open wieker baskets through all eternity." You Knew What You Ars Taking When you take Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic because the formula is plainly printed on every bottle show ing that it is simply Iron and Quinine in a tasteless form, No Cure, No Pay. 50c. One Sfiinute Cough Cure For Coughs, Colds and Croup. ENGINE ROOM" HEROES. "Wonderful and Perilous Feats That ; Are Performed at Sea. Nobody who lias not boon to sea can imagine all the things that can happen to a ship's machinery nor projieriy estimate the cleverness and ingenuity used ! up in repairs. The youth who leaves ; his shop full of wonderful and costly machines has another complete educa- j tion waiting for bi;n at sea in the won- j derfnl things that can bo accomplished j in time with a plain, ordinal/* hammer i and chisel, a. rather wornont file and a | great deal of ingenuity. I should like J to have Doou aboard tt:at steamer u:s- j ablod i:: the Rod sea whore they took a j boat davit, straightened it out in a j rivet forgo, made a new boiler food j pump piston rod out of it and went on j again, or. better still, on the ship that i lost a propeller and the end of her tail | shaft off the west coast of Africa, to replace which they were obliged to move her cargo, pump her forward compartments full to sink her bow and raise her stern out of water, drag the broken shaft, several tons in weight, out through the long alley (too low and cramped to stand up in), plug up the hole behind it. drag in the spare shaft and couple it up and lower the new propeller down over the stern, all while she kicked and wallowed in a heavy sea, and linally had to lower the chief engineer over after the propeller, whore he sat tied to a flimsy staging making all fast and secure while the vessel jounced him up and down in the sea till ho bled at the nose and ears and the crew kept the sharks at bay with pistols and boat hooks to prevent them from eating him up before he finished the job. That was seventy-two hours in which the young ami aspiring engineer might learn a host of valuable and interesting things. ? Benjamin Brooks in Hcribner's. Cleaned and Restored. There is a certain lady who is addicted very strongly to the art of making up. What she does exactly is a mystery to all but herself and her maid, but the effect is precisely as if she had a thick coat of enamel or lacquer all over her face. A good deal of discussion has ensued as to whether this is renewed every day after ablutions. On this point a dear friend of hers observed: "Of course not. The expense would be enormous. Depend 011 it when she wants to wash she goes to some place where they clean old pictures."?London Tatler. Fearful Odds Against Kim, Bedridden, alone and destitute. Such, in brief, was the condition of an old soldier by name of J. J. Havens, Versailles, 0 For years he was troubled with Kidney disease and Deither doctors nor medicines gave bim relief. At length be tried Electric Bitters. It put him on his feet in short order and now he testifies "I aru on the road to complete recovery '' Best on earth for Liver and KidDey troubles and all forms of Stomach and Complaints Only 50 v Guaranteed by The Kaufmann Drug Co., Druggists. IVatnral Wontlor#. "Why is a river the greatest freak of nature?" "Didn't know it was. Why is it?" "A river has a head, but no feet. Its mouth is where its feet ought to be." "Pretty good. A mountai somewhat freakish also. We lia\ 11 seen the foot of a mountain, but we never j beard of a mountain's head." "That's so. Still it must have a ; j bead, for it lias ears." "Has ears? How's that?" "Certainly. Did you never see a mountaineer?"?Kansas City Journal. I Waitins Time. Mrs. Feedum?Why do you move so lazily? Don't you know that time and tide wait for no man? Tattered Tucker?Dat may be all right about tide, lady; but I'm afeared j dere's a bunch o' time waitin' for me : de next time I git jugged.?Kansas City Journal. Bravery. "You spoke very admiringly of thaiman's courage." "Yes." "But lie was never a soldier or a fire- | man or a policeman." "No, but he eats mushrooms that he | has gathered himself."?Exchange. Ideas are the result of thought, and each new idea marks an epoch in the social and industrial advancement cf | the world.?Maxwell's Talisman. To Cure a Cold in One Day Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Ta;>ie:,s. All dru.ogist9 refund the money if it fads to cure. E. W. Grove's signature is on each box 25c. .... ! Tlio I'rsitlle ov a ( auu, At times it cannot be denied the ques- ! tions of ehildren become irksome, but J who would wish a child to ask no ques- I tions? Julius Sturm tells in one of his ! pretty fairy tales how a grandfather, ' driven into impatience by the constant j questionings of his gr.andchild, ex- ; claimed. "I wish your tongue were out j of joint!" J.ut when unexpectedly his i wish was fulfilled a.ml the child became j dumb how he joyfully exchanged one j of ilie two years which an angel had j prophesied he was yet to live for the j privilege of hearing the little one's prat- j tie again! nt< t*n ? ?TH ? , iij hi mm i j ?i mm ? LP"~I1L LLOrTll H. 1*1 CURES WHERt ALL ELSE FAILS. " M Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use Over=Work Weakens Your Kidneys. Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood. All the blood in your body passes through your kidneys once every three minutes. The kidneys are your s blood purifiers, they filU ter out the waste or / impurities in the blood. If they are sick or out of order, they fail to do their work. Pains, aches and rheumatism come from excess of uric acid in the blooc, due to neglected kidney trouble. Kidney trouble causes quick or unsteady heart beats, and makes one feel as though U ^ J U 1 ~ U -.U ^ 1 * uiey xia.u xic?ii i uuuuic, ucu&uie inc nvari 15 over-working in pumping thick, kidneypoisoned blood through veins and arteries. It used to be considered that only urinary troubles were to be traced to the kidneys, but nov/ modern science proves that nearly all constitutional diseases have their beginning in kidney trouble. If you are sick you can make no mistake by first doctoring your kidneys. The mild and the extraordinary effect of Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy is soon realized. It stands the highest for its wonderful cures of the most distressing cases and is sold on its merits by all druggists in fiftycent and one-dollar sizes. You may have a? sample bottle by mail iion.o or Swamp-Root, free, also pamphlet telling you how to line out if you have kidney or bladder trouble Mention this paper when writing Dr. Kilmei Co., Binghamton. N. Y. Albert M. Boozer, Attorney at Law, ? 7 COLUMBIA, S?. C. Especial attention given to business enframed to him by his fellow citizens o Lexington county. OHice: 1316 Main Street, upstairs, cpposi e Van Metre's Furnitu. o btore February 28?:f. tions. If you are interested, write *us foi our handsome illustrated catalog. THE IfllSiEB SOUTHERN BUSINESS COLLEGE macon, ga. November in, 1902?ly. Parlor Restaurant 133g main street. COLUMBIA, - S. C., The only up-to-date eating House ot its kind in the City ot Columbia. It is wj-11 kept?clean iinen, prompt and polite service and get it quickly. Quiet and order always prevail. You got what you order and pay only for what jou get. Within easy reach of desirable sleeping apartments. OPEN ALL NIGHT. S. DAVID, Proprietor, SB I 638-1 640 MAINS OFFEKS TEE (OTP Best China Matting, the 35 cer Ww Nice Brown Sheeting, the 7 cc 3,OCO jards Cottonades, the 15 Largest Malaga Hats, the 20 c ?TtH| Men's two-piece Fine All Wooi 100 esses Shoes just in at 10c., ijrjhfc oave about 300 Ladies and (ientl finrl $4.00 kind, iu extra small ar will ssll for $1.99 the pair. ^ 10 gross ilen"s Coat Collar 9p 50 gross Fine Safety Pins, at 1 300 k^es' 51.?^0. $1,25 and $ BS FOR ?9 COME TO SEE US III A RYE RTISEMI * c. ly . G9Ca?9C9 9vd ! BEESWAX WANTED IN LARGE OR SMALL QUANTITIES TTTE WILL PAY THE HIGHEST MARVV tet price lor clean and pure Beeswar. Price governed by co:or and condition. THE B A Z A All * LEXINGTON, S. Cim TREES That Grow and Btar Fruit, Wrif'Q fA r mi r Rfi i?or>n las touted Catalogue and 40 page para phlet, "How to " Piant and Cultivate an Orchard," G ives you that inform atio 11 you have so long wanted: tells you all about those big red apples, lueious peaches, and Japan plums with theii oriental sweetness, * r all of whi eh you have often wondered where the trees came fro m that produced fheni. EVERYTHING GOOD IN FRUITS. Unusal flne stock of SILVER MAPLES.young, thrifty trees smooth and straight, the kind that live and grow off well. No old, rough trees. This is j the most rapid growing maple and one of the mostbeaut iful shade trees. Write for prices and give list of wants. J. Van Liudley Nursery Ca., Pomona, N C, PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM Cleansei and beautifies the hair. Promotes a luxuriant growth. Never Fails to Eestore Gray Hair to its Youthful Color. fSif^d Mi'n rii?pa??e* & hair fiiiliaz. 30c, acd $1 (JO at DruggitU___| liiTSil . ! mmm u Will Practice in all Courts, KAUFMANN BUILDING, LEXINGTON, S O On the I8th day of October, we formed a co-partnership lor the practice of law. i We will be please! to receive- those having [ legal basine-s to be attended to at our ofi tics in the Xaulmann building at any time, ! Respectfully. *J. WM THURMOND. G. BELL TIMMEBMAN. , | October 22, 1902. -ly. n 1 Or, Wooney's&^i1, n?]ui ircts ionium, lat,6anarc, P.nlsLtbo jefixir of opium, co fflfcfiS? AND |M. WOOLLEY CO. W MUX Cn ISSS"S!8! M-1 ns i Go., I IT., COLUMBIA,S-C. ||| FOLLOWING: its kind, at 18.} cents. nts kind, at 5 cents, ? and 20 cents kind, at 10 cents. ents kind, tor 10 cents. I Suits, 83.75, 85 00 and 80.50. 15c., 25c., 40c , 98c. and up. We emen's Very FiaeShoes, the $3.50 id extra large sizes oaly, that we rings, at 1 cent each. . cent the dozen. l.O'J Corsets, at 73 cents while GOOD BARGAINS fj YOU. AXD BEIXG THIS S3 : XT "WITH YOU. |^| "