The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, November 05, 1902, Page 7, Image 7
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Vv Complete treatment
BROWN 7
The Lexington Dispatch. |
f-"~/ Wednesday, November 5,1902.
i WAS TELLING IT MILDLY. *
It Was a Thrilling Recital, but Perfectly
Credible.
The man from Montana had been
Selling a story of a .landslide, how he
^and his cabin .had been carried two
IgHimles and escaped all injury, when one
EHbf his listeners said:
jgfrYon don't mean to say that you
BfeBere rushed along with rocks, dirt and
jjSISees for two miles and escaped scot
1|?I said so. stranger," was the reply.
mm "But it doesn't seem possible."
Hp "Were you ever in Montana?"
Hb "No."
KlF "Got any relatives out there?"
18 "N?."
mm "Going out there some time your"Perbaps
so."
Then you'll find out that any other
man in Montana but me would have
had that cabin hustled along twice as
fast and carried at least ten miles
farther!" M. QUAD.
Entitled to the Fifty Cents.
"When Parson Brownlow was in
New York lecturing," remarked a mem-{
ber of one of the posts from that state
at Camp Roosevelt "many people
grumbled about the high price of ad|
mission to hear him. A rich but stingy
man, who had been all tbe time profuse
with expressions of his patriotism,
exclaimed in a crowd:
** 'Give Parson Brownlow half a doli
lar? No, sir-ree. I'd a great deal
L sooner give it to some- poor soldiers.'
"'Oh,' said a bystander, 'then keep
Nwour half dollar, for youYe about the
JP^poorest soldier I ever knew of.'
"The rich man skulked off and didn't hear
Brownlow."?Washington Star.
His Texisg Problem.
The boy was greatly troubled.
"Is it true, father," he asked, "that
they have whipping posts In some
states?"
The father assured him that it was.
"And they whip grown people?"
asked the boy.
"When they deserve it," said the fattier.
"Well," asserted the boy, with convletion,
"if that's the ease I don't see
what's the use of growing up."?Chicago
Post.
A Plunge? In Candy.
"Oh, Henry, did youse ever love?"
"I did onct, an' it cost me nearly 35
cents.''?New York Journal.
An Expert Opinion.
"Yes; he started a matrimonial agency
and expected to make a lot of money."
"Why didn't he?"
"He married his typewriter girl inside
of a week, and she wouldn't let
him go on with the business because it
was too dangerou*."?Cleveland Plain
f ^Dealer.
A little three-year-old wisX.while her
vnAthov wo c* tevi rwr tA t- j. . . i..
l and delicate women,
I and makes the system \?B?Am
jist Nature; do not take \\\^H^k\\\\
t which act for a time, but \\\\ fj?Ba\\\\
i than before. Use a gentle jm I Hm||
LIVER PILLS I
IC PELLETS jm
is to restore perfect healtit, I//ImaSM/lll
the roses on the cheeks, jf J MjEEBj ///
I sgMp^y
Explanatory.
"For a first attempt in public," said
her friend encouragingly, "I thought
you sang with a good deal of feeling."
"I don't wonder at that," replied the
i ambitious young vocalist. "My heart
was in my throat all the time."?Chicago
Tribune.
A Common Complaint..
"Now then," said the teacher, "you've
heard the explanation of heat and cold.
Can you tell me what is light, Tommy?"
"My ma says that most everything
a that you buy by weight,"?Philadelphia
Press.
I"-'
Making: a Name.
Wigg?As a painter do you think he
will be able to make a name for himself?
*"* A- XT 1,A>? ?
wagg?jtie UUgUL IU. 1VU arc, 1JC-o u.
sign painter.?Philadelphia Record.
Unsteady*
Dinkelslosber ? Mike aind't vorking
steady now yet, is he?
O'Brien?Sc-hure he is. Three days
he worrks nights an' three nights he
worrks days.?New York Times.
*
1 i
The Influence.
Jerry?How do good clothes make a
man a gentleman?
Joe?They make him feel as if he
was expected to act like one.?Detroit
Free Press.
A Different Species.
"I thought you said. Brown was a i
regular bibliomaniac?"
"Not on your life! I said he was a
bibulous maniac."?Baltimore News.
Too Tame!
With a disgusted expression the plutocrat
steps from his aermobile which
has just been steered to the mooring
station.
"How do you like it?" asked an interested
observer.
"So good." growls the plutocrat.
"Why. the blamed thing goes so high
yon can't even scare the pedestrians,
let alone run into them."?Baltimore
American.
Wa? Helpless.
"Hey, hey!" yelled the excited neighbor,
"there's a robber in your house."
"Tou're right" said Mr. Fudge; "I
saw him enter."
"Did you? Well, you don't seem to
be excited over it. Wanter call a policeman
and nab the robber?"
"No use. It's the man who examines
the gas meters."?Baltimore Herald.
Probably.
"What would you do if you had a
million dollars?"
"Oh." answered the philosophic citi|
zen, "I suppose I'd be like the rest of
i humanity. If I were worth a million,
U1V/IU<C1 Tf an ujiu^ iv nrtATg Sl?t?p
became Interested in a peculiaV^noise
*nd asked what it was.
' A cricket, dear," replied lier mother.
''Well," remarked the little lad v. "he.
._ui. v x' J
utigUL iu gri niuii^ru vnru. ?auuilg
People's Paper.
Hit Theory.
"There's no doubt that colored men
often make good soldiers."
"Course dey does," answered Mr.
Eraetus Pinkley. "You put a cullud j
man along of a pucession an' he's
} gwine to foller it to de finish, no matter
whut de danger is."?Washington Star.
<9
. This signatory if on ererj boa of the genuine
1 Laxative Bronto-Quimnc
the remedy fJar t cures * in one ttmj
E
I'd probably worry myself into dyspepsia
trying to make it a billion."?Washington
Star.
Logical.
' The manager always keeps back a
portion of the villain's salary."
"Why does he do that?afraid he'd
skip?"
"No, but he always acts his part better
when he's mad."?Boston Post.
Softened Grief.
Wilson?I lost that fine silk umbrella
that 1 carried in town today.
Mrs. Wilson?Oh, what a pity!
Wilson?Still, there is one consolation.
It wasn't mine.?Somerville
(Mass.) Journal.
In the Jangle.
j Lteu?YVbat are you trying to do?
Monk?I just want to dust the bric-abrae.?Scrlbner's
Magazine.
Brrakiif It to Him.
"Wei]." asked the anxious young hus- j
band. "Is it a boy?" ,
"Yes, Henry," replied the new grand- j
mother: "one of them is."?Chicago
Tribune.
Practically all the exports of Africa i
| are natural products, while her imparts
are exclusively manufactured articles.
A woman's whim is often a man's
fate.?Boston Transcript c '
I CORN Di
I Fond Recollection* of the Days of
the Hoecake nnd Flapjacks.
With good meal and a cook following
the lessons and traditions of the oldregime
delicious bread may be baked
of Indian meal. But we have grave
doubts whether it can be baked as well
in a stove as in an open fireplace; but,
alas, of the latter only a few remain.
The ashcake, of course, must have
ashes. They are indispensable. As
well try to produce a mint julep without
mint On the other hand, "flapjacks"
need oDly a well greased frying
pan, but skill is required to turn them.
That is done by pitching them out of
the pan into the air and making them
come down flap on the other side. The
corn pone may be cooked in a stove or
range.
The hoecake was originally cooked
o v?/-ua in tho fields flnfl m the necro
VU U AJVV ??? ^ cabin.
A skillet will do well enough
for it, but must be well greased at the
bottom. So, too, with respect to egg
or batter bread. As for corn muffins,
the appliances of a range are admirably
adapted to them.
We wish some millionaire would fit
up a Virginia country home in antebellum
style and among other things
have in it a big open fireplace, a black
cook in a gingham dress, with a red
bandanna on her head, and also have
a half acre mint bed. an icehouse and
an old time garden filled with raspberries
and gooseberries, thyme, sage, currants
and all the ordinary table vegetables.
. When one of those old time homes
and gardens and kitchens is restored
and the host and hostess have entered
into possession, we desire to be listed
as a frequent guest, with a reserved
seat in the chimney corner. Then all
we shall want will be the zest, the apfVia
vnrjir?inn<snpss WP Possessed
? ' - sr r
when we could eat eighteen rolls and
six eggs for breakfast and consume a
whole watermelon between meals. But,
alas, it would be easier to restore old
walls and open fireplaces than to bring
back the digestion and storage capacity
of a youth that's gone, of a time that's
past and never can return.?Richmond
Dispatch.
THE COOKBOOK.
Put a pinch of bicarbonate of soda
in the water when boiling salmon.
This makes it a beautiful red color.
When roasting fowls, put them into
an intensely hot oven until carefully
browned: after that cook slowly, basting
frequently.
When gravy is being made from
roast veal, lamb, beef or chicken, use
milk instead of water added to the
brown drippings left in the pan after
the fat bus been poured off.
Knl-inrp n Klnafloh +VlQ r>vnrvl A
OCiUtC ua&uj^ U uiutiiou IUI. <.1 wib
cooks pour over it a sauce made from
fresh or canned tomatoes in which
garlic is chopped. It is then baked until
the flesh of the fish flakes, admitting
the sauce.
For a quick cake beat until thick
four eggs; add four tablespoonfuls of
sugar, half a cupful of flour, a little
cinnamon and lemon rind; beat well
and spread on a baking pan; bake in
quick oven and cut at once.
Cooking teachers say that the ingredients
for pancakes, fritters and the
like should be mixed fully two hours
before the batter is needed. This, they
explain, gives the flour a chance to
swell, and the batter is better and
more wholesome.
A Clerer lior?e.
, A great many horses are fed on the
streets rrom "catDags' arawn up ever
their noses and wabbling about in a
manner which must make it very uncomfortable
to eat one's dinner in that
way. The Boston Herald tells of a
bright horse down in "Pie Alley"
which had uearly reached the bottom
of his bag. It wabbled awfully, but
the oats were sweet and he was hungry.
In front, of him stood a wagon,
and the wagon had a wheel. Happy
thought! He walked up to the wheel,
rested his canvas bag on the top of it
j and finished his dinner to the last oat
: in a comfortable, leisurely fashion and
' with a twinkle in his eye. If that was
! not a triumph of mind over matter,
; what was it?
, Bor to Keep Young*.
One of the secrets of keepiug young,
J vigorous and supple jointed is to conj
tinue to practice the activities of youth
I and to refuse to allow the mind to
I stiffen the muscles by its suggestion
j of age limitations. If men like I jter
j Cooper and William E. Gladstone, who
j kept up the vitalizing exercises of robust
manhood wben far into the
| eighties, bad succumbed at forty to the
thought of approaching age, bow much
of their valuable life work would have
remained undone!?Success.
___________
A Snnetj.
"Somehow," said the girl ta blue, "I
can't help wishing I had accepted
him."
"Why, dear?" asked the girl in gray.
"Why, he swore that he'd never be
| happy again, and I'm afraid he is."
I "Ah, yes." commented the girl in
I gray reflectively. "As matters are now
I you can't be sure that he isn't, hut If
| you'd married him you could make
! sure of it"?Chicago Post
r
Depends on Clreonastsnces.
j She?Do you regard marriage as a
| necessity or a luxury?
| He?Well when a man marries a
i cross eyed girl who says silly things,
| whose nose turns up at the end and
| whose father is worth about $2,000,000,
I should say it was a necessity.?Chi!
cago Kecord-Herald.
I
A MttUr For Wonder*
Mr*, Teck irrho has returned from
' ? - - - , '
Niagara i?I stood speee&iess?
Mr. Peck?Wonderful, wonderful!
(To himself)?I wonder how Niagara
did it;?Detroit Free Press. _?rL_
^fflEDFORo^
BUCK-ORJUfGffln
^NST?patic''?
Constipation is nothing more ?ijj
L|||| than a clogging of the bowels
and nothing less than vital stag- ji
^ nation or death if not relieved. ftj
bbf If every constipated sufferer 1
ft could realize that he is allowing fij
ag poisonous filth to remain in his R
system, he would soon get relief. R
B Constipation invites all kind of
contagion. Headaches, bilious
g ness, colds and many other ail- u
ments disappear when consti- I
I pated bowels are relieved. Thed- I
ford's Black-Draught thoroughly |
ft cleans out the bowels in an easy fi
I and natural manner without the
purging of calomel or other vio- I
ft lent cathartics. ft
Be sure that you get the origi- 5
& nal Thedford's Black-Draught, M
? made by The Chattanooga Jledi- ?
W cine Co. Sold by all druggists in rj|
25 cent and $1.00 packages.
Morgan, Ark., Mar 2o, 1901. ffl
} I cannot recommend Thedford's Black- fi|
Dranghttoo highly. 1 keep It In my house jn
all the time and hare used It for the last : :;
ten years. 1 nerer gare my children
any other laxative. 1 think 1 could
never be able to work without It
M on account of being troubled with m
constipation. Your medicine Is
all that keeps me up.
C. B. McFARLASD.
By resoluti on tbe Joint Council
o* Bethel Pastorate will be held at
the parsonage at White Rock each
Thanksgiving Day. Dr. George B.
Cromer, of Newberry College, has
promised to be one of the speakers.
Others will be invited. All the
members and friends of Bethel Pasi??i?
??? inTiifo^l tr\ ottond until
IUIU to &1 C 1UTUUU IV 14 WbVUV* T? * VM
baskets. Come ever, Mr. Editor.
S. C. B.
A HILTOIT'S
Lough cure,
U A SYRUP.
Unique?unlike any other cough preparation.
The quickest to stop a cough and
to remove soreness from the lungs. 25c.
THE MUBBAY DBUG CO.,
COLUMBIA, 8. C.
For Sale at THE BAZAAB.
Aug. 18?ly.
ZIIZZZZZIZIIZZZZilZZIL <!
m frcit trees ]
mhS? That Grow and Bear Prnit.
Write (or our 80 page 11W&*
lustrated Catalogue and 40
nacfA rmmnhlet. "HOW to
^ |f*lant and Cultivate an Orchard,"
Gives you that in/ajsSjRfc.
formation you have so long
wanted; tells you all about
''MB those biff red apples, lucious
peaches, and Japan plums
with their oriental sweetness,
all of which you have often
wondered where the trees
^me *rom tbat produced
EVERHHINQ ^ GOOD IN
Unusal fine stock of SILYER
r>K MAPLES.young, thrifty trees
4smooth and straight, tho kind
that live and grow ofT well, ;
^^^r^V^No old, rough trees. This is i
^p^c^^the most rapid growing ina?^
l)le and one of the mostbeau^E^f^fejtiful
shade trees.
Write for prices and give i
list of wants.
J. Van Lindley Nursery Co..
Pomona, N
LIFE HID FIDE INSiiNCE IEEH
COUNTRY RISKS CONSIDERED.
Only First Clsss Companies Represented.
See my List of Giants:
Assets.
NEW YORK LIFE, of
New York 293,743,38G '
GLENN FALLS, of Glecn
Falls, N?w York 3,605,602.23
PHILADELPHIA UNDERWRITERS.
Phil.. Pa.. 15,541,066
CONTINENTAL (Fire), of
New York 12,0 5.723.72
iETNA, FIRE, of Hartford,
Conn $14,071,948.37
My companies axe popular, strong and
reliable. No one can give your business
better attention; no one can give yon better
protection; no one can give you better rates.
BEFORE YOU INSURE 8EE
ALFRED .T. FOX, .
General Insurance Agent, i
LEXINGTON S. C.
November 27, 1901?ly.
Parlor Restaurant
1336 MAIN STREET.
COLUMBIA, - S. C.,
The only up-to-date eating '
House ot its kind in the City of Co- i
lnmbia. It is well kept?clean linen,
prompt and polite service and get it quickly.
Quiet and order always prevail. \ou gtt
what yon order and pay only for whnt you
get. Within easy reach of desirable sleeping
apartments.
OJ?JEIV ALL NIGHT.
B. DAVID, Proyiietor.
be
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legs S IX. M
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Soil Carolina Marble f orb;
17?7 MAIN ST., COLUMBIA, S. C.
-ipggaag^A The Largest Betail
S MARBLE AND GRANITE
Dealers South. We use the best grade material in manufactnriug
Monuments and Headstones and guarantee our work ?b4
flinish to be the best. When you hear a man oomplain- a'
ing that he can buy so much cheaper from some
little fellow who is anxious to sell anything, you
can put it down that ha will get cheap stock,
cheap work, and of course a cheap job.
We can compete with any fair dealer
in this country, but we cannot
say we will sell as cheap as
some as we do not care
work.
IRON b WIRE FENCING, GRAVE LOT COPING, ETC.,
for sale. Write to us or see our
MR. P. B. EDWARDS, LEXINGTON, S. C.
and we will see that you are treated fair.
SOUTH CAROLINA MARBLE WORKS.
September 1J. 44?tt
HUSEMANN'S GUN STORE
WE HAVE
Parker, Lefevers, Smith, Ithaca, Fore
hand, Fieper, Baker and Winchester
Repeating Shot Guns.
rhe Ithaca Guns are guaranteed to shoot all kind* ot Smokeless Powders; Dever bee?*?loose
or shaky. Price* from $21 np. We keep the best makes of Single Barrel Gnus.
Ill kinds of Kihes and Air Guns, Powder, Shot, Wads, Primers, Shells, Loaded Shells
ru all 6i-7.es. Edison Phonographs, and Graphaphones. We do all kinds of Bepair
Work. Head-quarters for Hunters' Supplies.
W. F. STIEGLITZ, PROPRIETOR.
I 508 MAIN STREET, COLUMBIA, S. C.
September 17, 1902?16w.
i _