The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, October 15, 1902, Page 2, Image 2
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"I -MR. \\t*
Z BOWSER'S K
Z NATAL K
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[Copyright, 1902, by C. B. Lewis.]
" T>ATiror<D |
MXV. DU H 0?ii.v J_Lg U1 crvi VJLI 511Ing
Mrs. Bowser a little
surprise the other morning
as he quietly observed:
"Perhaps I've got a birthday as well
Is other folks, though you don't seem
to have remembered it."
"I've had it in mind for a week," replied
Mrs. Bowser, "and have been
wondering how we could celebrate the
day. Yes; you are fifty-seven years
?Id today, and I con"?
"Fifty-seven!" he shouted as he
wheeled on her. "Where in thunder
did you get your .information that I
was an antediluvian?"
"But fifty-seven isn't old."
"Ifs a blamed sight older'n I am!
T'm o-vanflv fiftv-thrAP vears old todav
l
? ^
'.ZEE GAS METER MAN CAME ALONG "WITH
HIS BILL.
if I know anything about it. How did
you get the idea that I was fifty'
seven?"
"I?I don't know, unless it was from
the family record in the Bible."
"Does that record say I'm fifty-seven
years old?'
"I?I believe so."
"Then it's a blamed old lying record,
and It shows what kind of a woman
yon are that you go snooping around
and sticking : mr nose into other people's
business!"
"But even if you are fifty-seven you
don't look a day older than forty," she
said, hoping to mollify him, "A man at
fifty-seven is only middle aged." '
"Keep harping on fifty-seven, will
you! Didn't I say I was only fiftythree?"
"Well, fiftv-three. then, and now let's
make a happy day of it Mrs. Shaw
was asking me the other day if you
had turned forty-five yet, and she said i
she had often noticed your springy
walk and cheery way."
This was a white lie, of course, but '
Mr. Bowser chirked up and breakfast
was a success. He had decided to
( make a holiday of it, and the question
arose as to where they should go. It
had been settled that they would take
x a trolley ride into the country and
chase lambkins ?when the gas meter
man came along with his bill. If Mrs.
Bowser could have got hold of it first* |
"WHAT ON EARTH HAS HA
all would have been well, but the man I
coclly and calmly placed it in Mr. Bowser's
hands, and the figures had scarcely
been read before there was an explosion.
"By the great hornspoon. but will j
you tell me what this means?'' shout?
Vioflrce rnir-0
"Why, it's the gas bill for last
month," replied Mrs. Bowser, "and I
notice that it is a dollar and a half
less than last month."
"But it's for $2."
"Well, that's very reasonable. Our
bills in the winter are always from
to SC. We needn't pay it for two
weeks yet. you know."
"Woman, you can take off that hat!" j
rumbled Mr. Bowser. "There will be !
no lambkins chased by us today."
"Can we burn gas without paying ;
for it?" asked Mrs. Bowser with a j
tinge of defiance in her tones.
"Who said we could? We espect to j
&O
<$xg> <?<$> ><}>4><S><^^><j>^j^^-''^ 3>
^ **
His Fifty-seventh Ar- g*| ^
rives, but He Insists j|
or Celebrating the $ | %%
Fifty-third?Calls Bi- ^
ble Record False..... %|
A f ++
$ 4 <x>
<$Xj> <$X$> <S>'3><JXJ>^-^^5><J^><5.-^.' -j>
pay, of course; but I don't expect that
you are going to knuck in with the
gas company to rob me. How much
of a whack do they give you out of
this bill?"
His query was treated with silent
contempt, and for an hour he sat on
the doorstep and smoked. Then a bet
ter feeling took possession or mm ana
he decided to forgive Mrs. Bowser for
her l'ecklc-ss extravagance. It was too
late to chase lambkins o'er the dewy
fields, as the dew had all been sucked
up, but they could ride out to the park
and view the gondolas and feed the
squirrels.
"That's more like you," replied Mrs.
Bowser as he told her to get ready. "I
knew .you would not blame me about
the gas bill."
"I was just put out for a minute,"
he said with a laugh. "If you hadn't
said I was fifty-seven years old"?
"Fifty-three, dear: I misspoke myself.
Fifty-three years old, and you
didn't look younger at forty."
He kissed her for that, but, alas.
Nemesis was again at the gate. It
was a he Nemesis In the guise of a
butcher boy. He had a little bill for
a dollar and odd, and he thrust it under
Mr. Bowser's nose. Mrs. Bowser
gasped and waited. It came:
"By the ears of my grandmother,
but what does this mean? I. give yc*i
money weekly to pay all bills, and yet
here is one unpaid!"
"It's made up of trifling balances
that have been running for weeks,"
she replied, "and I have got the money
in the house to pay it. Don't let this
put you out."
"But it does put me out, and no wonder.
We will not go to the park. We
will not view the gondolas or any other
blamed thing, and we will feed no
squirrels."
They returned to the house, and
while Mrs. Bowser removed her hat
and sat down to a book in the sitting
room Mr. Bowser took a seat on the
front steps again. After a couple of
hours he entered the house, and he announced
a trip toythe theater for the
evening, with a little supper at some
restaurant to wind up the entertainment
"I?1 didn't mean to be cross," he
said as they returned home. "I expect
it was your saying that I was fiftyseven
years"?
"I said fifty-three," she interrupted.
"Well, I understood you to say fiftyseven.
The idea that you thought me
an old mossback rather hurt my feelings.
Of course you are not to blame
about either the gas or the butcher bill.
and if I lost my temper"?
"But you didn't."
"Thanks. You are just the nicest
woman on the face of this earth."
"And you are the best man."
Mr. Bowser decided to run down
and obtain the tickets before dinner,
when Deadwood Dick^ struck ttfeir
trail again. The cook came upstairs
and exultantly announced that there
was not enough coal in the house to
cook breakfast. If she had made the
announcement to Mrs. Bowser, it
would have been all right, but she
went to the wrong head of the house,
- i
i | | J
V vi i 1
Ik i!
PPEXED?" SHE EXCLAIMED.
! and she hadn't got back to her kitchen
when a long drawn moan called Mrs.
j Dowser downstairs to find a bald head
| and 200 pounds of humanity stretched
on his back on the lounge.
"What on earth has happened?" she
I exclaimed in considerable fright.
"Woman," said the bundle of humanity
without onening its eves or
| stirring a finger, "I know all. and fur:
ther deception is useless! If I die,
! wrap me up in an old bedquilt and
! chuck me into a hole in the back yard.
: If I live"?
"W-what!"
"Telephone your lawyer to meet my
I lawyer here iu the morning to arrange
j the details."
! And as the night came down and the
' wind sighed and moaned pedestrians
passed the gate on tiptoe and instinctively
murmured:
"Poor, poor Mr. Bowser!"
M. QUAD.
jf j m ^ W" been written of
? g | [ I 1\\\ ^gic mirrors in
) | I | \ \ which the future
( ? I 1 I v was revealed. If
" such a thing were
possible many a bright - faced bride
would shrink from the revelation of herself,
stripped of all her loveliness. If
there is one thing which would make a
woman shrink from marriage it is to see
flip' ranid -nhvsical deterioration which
W?w i J
comes to so many -wives. The cause is
generally due to womanly diseases.
Lost health and lost comeliness are
restored by the use of Dr. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription. It cures irregularity
and dries weakening drains. It
heals inflammation and ulceration, and
cures female weakness.
?It is with the greatest pleasure that I tell
you what Dr. Pierce's Favonte Prescription and
' Golden Medical Discovery' have done for me,"
writes Mrs. Emma L. Bankes. of-f952 North 7th
Street, Harrisburg, Pa. "Thev have done me a
world of good. I had female weakness for she
years; sometimes would feel so badly I did not
know what to do. but I found relief at last,
thanks to Dr. Pierce for his kind advice. I have
this medicine still in my house and will always
keep it."
If you are led to the purchase of
"Favorite Prescription" because of its
remarkable cures of other women, do
not accept a substitute which has none
of these cures to its credit.
Free. Dr. Pierce's Common Sense
Medical Adviser, paper covers, is sent
free on receipt of 21 one-cent stamps
to pay expense of mailing only. Or
for cloth-bound volume send 31 stamps.
Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
THE MILKY WAY.
A System Which Gives I's a Vague
Idea of the Eternity of Space.
The Milky Way. the grandest feature
of the "firmament which bends above
us," the hazy path which so majestically
bands the whole fabric of the
skies together, is uow known to be
composed of a grand aggregation of at
least 18.000,000 suns, each as large as
or larger than that which makes vegetable
and animal life an earthly possibility.
' One is apt when allowing the
mind to revert to the contemplation of
these misty and indistinct astronomical
subjects to measure their magnitude
or attempt to measure it by making
terrestrial comparisons.
It is obvious, however, upon more
mature reflection that such comparisons
are worse than "odious." The bulk j
of our sun exceeds that of the earth
1,200,000 times, being GOO times great- j
er than that of the bulk of his whole
train of planets taken collectively. This
kfkn /.Hou nfhot hocic en n tvp nsp
UClUg LLlt LttJC, OUUk Ir.tu.w vu.. ... _
for calculating the magnitude of 1S,000.000
suns. each, as I have said before.
probably larger than that which
gives us heat and light?
The infinite number of suns which,
taken together, make up the Milky
Way are not set at a uniform distance
from our earth or even from our sun.
In fact, they appear to work altogether
independently of either this mundane
sphere or our "glorious orb or
j day." The majority of them are planted
at a distance too remote to be even
imperfectly measured or understood.
Some of them are so near (?) that
light which travels at the rate of
185,000 miles per second, would cross
the distance between us and them in
the period of about an even ten years.
Others, however, are so remote that it
would take a full thousand years for
their light to reach us.
A Fine Liver Cure.
Greenville, Tenr.
T have thoroughly convinced znt
? ? - o * self
tbat Dr. Baker's Blood and
Liver Cure is the finest medicine
made for Indigestion and Constipation.
(I have tried them all) and
W86 cured by the use of this medicine,
after all others had faileri. I
most cheerful'y and unhesitatingly
endorse it. Yjurs truly,
E. N. Baker, Mayor.
For sale at the B>"5aar.
The Lust Word.
j ;h T1' -' ' /V
&
"A woman is never happy unless she
gets the last wonl."
'"That's a mistake. A woman always
insists on a man's having the
last word, hut it must come in the
form of an apology."
If the Saby is Cutting Teeth.
Be sure and use that old and well
tried remedy, Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
Syrup for children teething. It
soothes (he child, softens the gums,
allays all pain, cures wind colic and
is the best remedy for diarrhoea.
Twenty-five cents a bottle.
It is the best of all.
AN UNQUIET SPIRIT. """
The Mysterious Llgrht That por Year!
Haunted Cape ftoir.
For raanv years 011 Cape Noir, the
western point of Maria, a strange
light was seen, dancing and moving
about in the most unaccountable manner.
At one moment it would rise like
a column of fire into the air, and at another
time it would fall like a meteor.
Then it would seem to leap over the
point and drop into the sea, afterward
appearing again in the same spot on
the hillside. The habitants tell this
story about it:
In the time of the war for the possession
of Canada a French vessel,
pursued by an English warship,
steered its course into the bay at this
point for refuge. A boat was lowered
from the side of the richly laden merchantman,
and in this thirteen men
swiftly rowed to the shore. Their object
was to secrete a chest of gold
which they had brought with them. On
reaching the point they drew lots to
,see which of the men should remain
to guard the treasure. The one to
whom the lot fell was forced to swear
a solemn oath, Dy lana ana sea,
night and day, by the ruler of the
nether world, that he would be faithful
to the trust through life, unless relieved
by his returning comrades, and
even after d#ath would haunt the spot
should no one come to take his place,
says a writer in the Era.
To secure the fulfillment of this vow
his wicked associates then and there
put him to death and buried him with
the treasure. The ghostly light was
supposed to be the spirit of the murdered
man, and many persons who,
tempted by the hope of recovering the
treasure, ventured into the haunted
spot fled in terror and told blood
curdling stories of the horrible phantoms
and frightful sights which they
had witnessed. The light is seen no
longer. Perhaps some adventurer
bolder than the rest succeeded in discovering
the gold, carried it off and
thus gave rest to the unquiet spirit
Pan a Tea Penny Nail Through
His Hand.
While opening a box, J. C Mount,
mi v v
Ui AUioo ULLJIO -L , inu a icu
penny nail through the fleshy part of
his hand. "I thought at once of all
the pain and soreness this would
cause me," he says, "and immediately
applied Chamberlain's Pain Balm
and occasionally afterwards. To m;
surprise it removed all pain and
soreness and the injured parts were
soon healed." For sale by J. E
Kaufmann.
The German Wife's Vacation.
It is a common practice in Berlin for
the wife to stay at home when the husband
and family go to the seaside. In
this way the wife enjoys her own holiday,
for there is no housekeeping to be
done. She foregathers with friends?
"grass widows," like herself?and they
take their meals at restaurants, spend
their afternoons and evenings at popular
places of entertainment and thoroughly
enjoy themselves.?London Express.
*
Yes, Indeed!
When a man gets tired ont and ill,
he goes fishing, returning shortly with
three wall eyed pike, restored health
and a blister on bis nose. When a woman
feels that way, she hangs around
the house and cries if anybody looks
at her. It must be lovely to be a
man.?Chicago Record-Herald.
Wonderful.
He?She holds her age well, doesn't
sheV
She?Yes. She doesn't look a day
older than she says she is.?Philadelphia
Record.
Noiae and Fury.
"I'ze observed," said Uncle Ephe,
"dat wif er good many men lung power
an' brain power am in inverse proportions'?Colorado
Springs Gazette.
I THE GREAT 1
JtoMiiY medicine)
Thedford's Biack-Draught has ?
I saved doctors' bills for mere than H
I sixty years. For the common fam-B
I ily ailments, such as constipation, ra
I indigestion, hard colds, bowel com- K
B plaints, chills and fever, bilious* B
I ness, headaches and other like B
I complaints no other medicine is i;
necessary. It invigorates and reg- S
I ulates the liver, assists digestion, J
I stimulates action of the kidneys, R
m purifies the blood, and purges the ?j
m Dowels of foul accumulations. It 1/
cures liver complaint, indigestion,
j ?$ sour stomach, dizziness, chills, W
7 rheumatic pains, sideache, back- |
I ache, kidney troubles, constipation, 1
I diarrhoea, biliousness, piles, hard |
I colds and headache. Every drug- ;
I gist has Thedford's 13lack-Draught |
I in 25 cent packages and in mam- B
moth size for 31.00. Never accept |
I a substitute. Insist on having the ~
original made by the Chattanooga ?
8 Medicine Company. ?
I believe Thedford's Black-Draught r
I is the best medicine on earth, it is I
good for any and everything. I have E
j a family of twelve children, and for
r four years I have kept them on foot n
and healthy with no doctor but Black- B
A Draught. A. J. GREEN, lllcwara, La. M
SEND YOUR CATTLE, SW^
ATLANTA'S
Enter you horses at the gre
ous Seventh Cavalry will 1
pJay of horses ever seen in
RACES EVERY DAY. F
Vanity Fair?Vivacious,
But Not ?
One building filled with
hicles, Machinery and Fcoc
ONE BUILDING FILLED WITH
Many Free Attractions.
LOW RATES GN
For premium lists and information v
1
E. G, UWJ
1507 Main S
Will Sell You
FURMI
at, the Follow
Nice Beds, SI 40 aud up.
I
Oak Suites, 3 Pieces. $10 00 and up.
Oak Chairs, 50c., GOc., 75c. aud $1 0\
Oak Rockers. SI, SI 25, SI 50. $2 and up
Extension Tables, Solid Oak at S3 00.
Beautiful Kitchen Tables at SI 50 and up.
Trunks, ail sizes atd styles, CHEA.P.
Get you a White Bed from $3 50 up
We still have some of those 25c. Shades.
Fine Folding Springs at SI 90.
We now have ]
HARMAN, with i
you to make our
quarters when in
Respectfully,
EP1
September 17?tf.
TAX NOTICE.
I WILL ATTEND THE FOLLOWING
meutioned places for tiie purpos * ot receiving
taxe? for the fiscal year 19(?2:
Lexington C. H., from the loth of October
to the 1st of November. 1902
Edmund, Monday morning, November 3
Gaston, Mouday afternoon. November 3
Cross Roads, I uesday morning, Nov. 4
J. J. Mack's, Tuesday afternoon, Nov. 4,
Swansea, Wednesday, all day, Nov. ri.
Red Sto* e. Thursday morni. g Nov. (>.
Archie Wolle's, Thursday- fternoon Novfi
W. N. Martin, Friday mornng, Nov 7.
Brookland, Saturday, all da>. Nov 8
Pelion. Monday, all day, November 10.
Jacob Wil iams. Tuesday morning. Nov 11
Wm. Westmoreland, Tuesday aft Nov li
Batesburg, Wednesday, all day, Nov. 12.
Leesviile, Thursday morning, Nov. 13,
Summit. Thursday afternoon. Nov. 13.
Crap's Mill, Friday rnorni g Nov. 14.
Keisler'd Store. Friday afternoon, Nov 14
Lewiedale, Saturday morning, Nov. 15
Red Bank, Saturday alteinoon, Nov. 15
Irmo, Monday, November 17.
White Hock, Tuesday morning, Nov. 18.
Hilton, Tuesday afternoon, November 18
Spring Hill, Wednesday morning. Nov 19
Peak, Wednesday afternoon, Nov. 19.
X Roads, Thursday morning, Nov. 20.
Chapin, Thursday aitemoon Nov. 20.
Cnapin, Friday morning, Nov mber 21.
Josh Shealey's, Friday afternoon, Nov 21
Grout's Store, Saturday morning, Nov 22
The balance of the time at Lexington
C. H. until December 31st, 1902, after
which time the penalty will be added accrrding
to law.
The hours for closing the tax book will
be at 11 o'clock for the morning and 4
o'clock for the afternoon appointment.
TAX LEVY.
For State Purposes 5 Mills
For Ordinary County Purposes.. 3A Mills
For Special County Purposes ... X Mill
For Constitutional School Tax.. 3" Mills
Total 12 Mills
Special Sccool Levy, District IS 3 Mills
Special School Lew, District 37 2 Mills
Poll Tax *.. SI 00.
Parties owning property in more than
one Township will so state to the Tre?s*
i iritnm Jlhnil
art r. ana wueu wiiuu^
concerning taxes always give name in lull.
FRANK W. SHEALY,
Treasurer Lexington County.
September 24, 1902.
Final Discharge.
| "Y'OTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN TO ALL
| persons interested that I will apply to
the Hon George S. Drafts, Judge of Probate
in and for the County ot Lexington,
S ate of South Carolina, on the 21st day ot
October, 10)2, tor a final discharge as Administrator
ol the Estate ol John W. Stone,
deceased.
SAMUEL B. GEORGE,
as C. C. P. and G. S., Administrator.
September 24, 29* 2. 4w49,
IE SH E anc^OULTRYg ^
\ big fair!
:at Horse Show. FamD6
there. Greatest dis- g
the South
ATLANTA MANl?ACTURES. 1 I ,
t., Columbia, j
for Spot Cash a
ITURE |
cuing Prices:
f. SEE
We have some good Second Hand Oak
Dressers and Bnreans at
Have yoa seen 1
THOSE COMFORTS, M
we sell lor $1 ?0.
Smyner Rags at S2 00.
How's your STOVE? We have SOME
GOOD ONES VERY CHEAP.
MR. LEMMON K 1
us and he invites 1
store your headColumbia.
j
3K&CO., |
jpl For tli at I
if (Millionaire |
Ijf Feeling i
STRAUSS BROS I *
Good Taylors for 8
ruiruno
them. Near- I
Satisfaction S|
See the com*
plete line eit *
the store of EFFECT
Wo P. ROOF, I
LtXIJGrON, s. c. Lgftfe
TRESPASS NOTICEj^H
I llbaWI I IW w
i LL PERSONS ARE HE! EBY PO^^J
j\. itiveiv forbidden to trespass upon the
lands ol the undersigned by passing
through, making road<. bsuliug wood or
straw, hunting, with or witbont dogs, by j
day or by night or in any manner what- J
ever as the law will certainly be enforced t|
;ign;->ct all persons caught violating this Mk
notice.
B. F. NEESE, H, W. NEESE,
H. W. MAKTIN MRS, il. E LECKIE, M
S. P P. HAhsEY, P. C. A MICK.
MPR* L. MARTIN, B P. NEECE. fiB
October M, 1602, 4wol. flH
Kodol Dyspepsia Cure V
Digests what you eat. S