Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

BUCOLIC MR. BOWSER WITH EAGER ANTICIPATIONS HE VISITS A SUMMER RESORT. He Wanted to Stay Two Wecki Until 5 He Reached There, When He Soon Fottnd the Eloquent Ad. Failed to I Do the Place Justice. [Copyright, 1902, by C. B. Lewis.] UREKA' signifies 'I have J found it,'doesn't it?" asked Mr. Botrser as he reached home the other evening x "with a smile on his face. "Yes, something like that, I believe," replied Mrs. .Bowser, - jjo you mt-au you hare found a new patent Sre escape or something new in gas burners?" "What I mean is this," he said as he produced a newspaper advertisement and placed it in her hands. "We have been looking for some place out in the country where we could spend a week, JIB. BOWSER GOT AWAY AT AN EAELT HOUB. 5 and here I exclaim 'Eureka!' In other words, I have tumbled on a good thing and solved the problem. Itead it." Mrs. Bowser read: Persons seeking for a homelike place in the country in which to pass a few weeks should write to the Crow's Nest; large, airy rooms, pure air, spring water, fresh vegetables, eggs and milk, plenty or snaae ( and homelike surroundings; table unsurpassed; no children or dogs taken; two minutes to the lake, five minutes to the postofflce; no mosquitoes, flies or malaria; croquet, golf, pingpong, etc.; terms, $6 per week. ''Well, what do you think of it?" asked Mr. Bowser as she returned the slip. "I think it's a fraud," she replied. "That's you, of course. You see a fraud and a swindle in everything. I wouldn't have your suspicious nature for any money. What's wrong about this advertisement?" "It promises too much for the money." "I don't see it that \yay. Here are a farmer and his wife who are lonely for the society of nice people, and, being so . situated that they can make a dozen or so comfortable, they are willing to do it without robbing them. Any one could tell by the very name that it was a nice place to go to. I'll bet that farmer would break his back to make his 9 -lJ 3' ^^ "WELL, DID YOU FIND boarders happy. How soon can you pack the trunks?" "What for?" asked Mrs. Bowser. "Why. to go out there, of course. We want two weeks off, aDd we have found the place. We needn't even wait to write to them. We want those fciry rooms, cool breezes, fresh vegetables and eggs from the nests. 1 can almost imagine myself sailing o'er the placid waters of that lake this very minute. We ought to be able to get away by day after tomorrow. 1 can pack my own trunk tonight." Mrs. Bowser wasn't obstinate, but she was firm. She refused to do any packing until Mr. Bowser had taken a run out to Crow's Nest and looked the place over. He at first flatly refused, arguingfthat no one would dare advertise like that unless things were all right, but finally decided to make the trin. While he was investigating she could be packing, and so no time would be lost During the remainder of the evening be was in the highest spirits. He saw every feature of those homelike surroundings in his mind's eye, and ovei jnd over again h>t reposed in the shade of the pear trees or pulled a boat up and down the lake. Even in his sleep he was playing croquet and hunting hens' nests, and his impatience was so great that be could hardly taste his breakfast Mr. Bowser got away at an early hour, leaving instructions that the trunks shoufd be packed during the day. and after a ride of two hours on the train he arrived at his destination. He was so good natured on the way * that he passed over several little things of an unpleasant nature, and when he was finally dumped out at a country station the conductor had come to regard him as a kind hearted, mild tempered old gentleman. Crow's Nest loomed up half a mile away. It loomed from a sense of duty. If it hadn't loomed, there would have been nothing but a bobiailed cow and a stack of marsh hay to make up the scenery. The prospect didn't strike Mr. Bowser as a cheery one, but he plodded on through the dust of the highway until he reached the house. He might have thought there was some mistake but for a man at the gate who answered his inquiry by replying: "Yes; tins is wows ~>esu xju juu want board/" It was a two story, unpaintod and unfinished farmhouse. The shade was furnished by four or five old plum trees, and there wasn't enough grass about the place to furnish a cow with ten good bites. The lake was behind the'-house, and it was a part of a marsh. "Come in and see my rooms," suggested the man, who had a boil on his neck and a cloth tied around his head. In a dazed way Mr. Bowser followed him. There were five or six untenanted rooms. Some were plastered, and some were not. All of them were airy because most of the window glass was broken. The view from the front rooms took in the highway, an old barn and a field grown up to milkweeds. That from the back was composed of the '"'-a or\r? on nM hnrsp stnndin? j UiUidllJ laut auu v?v? ? r_, , on the shore and wondering whether I he would better drink or not. "Come down and see my wife before you decide/' said the man, and Mr. Bowser followed him downstairs and out into the kitchen and discovered a redheaded, sharp nosed woman who j was making ready to put a mustard ! plaster on her jaw to cure the toothache. "And now I'll introduce you to my boarder," said the owner Crow's i Nest and he led the way to a bench j xlnder one of the plum trees where sat ] a sore eyed man, who rose up and said ; he had gained ten pounds in the last week. "Well, what room will you take, and when can we expect you?" queried the i host. | "Say, now, this Is a blamed fraud!" ' exclaimed Mr. Bowser as he broke ; loose at last. i "What do yon mean, sir?" "I mean that any man who will adi vertise as you do and bring people to ! such a hole as this ought to be booted | all over the United States." "So you are a kicker, eh? I thought you was, as far as I could see you. j Well, I don't want you at any price." "And I wouldn't stop here for SoO a day. Heavens, what gall! You ought to be prosecuted for swindling. You i advertise"? ! "Don't call me no swindler!" warned the host as he grew menacing in his actions. "Is he lookin' for a king's palace and board at $2 a week?" queried the wife as she stood in the door with her hands on her hips. "Who can ask for anything better than airy rooms, a beautiful lake and PARADISE?" SHE ASKED. two minutes to the postoffic-e?" plaintively inquired the sore eyed man as he squinted at the homelike surroundings. Mr. Bowser uncorked with a pop and poured forth cuss words, and the result was a fight in which the otros were o to 1, and he went limping back to the station to get a train. On the way home he was kindly asked by half a dozen passengers how be got a black * eye and a bloody ear and how the collar came to be ripped off his coat and his suspenders busted, but he answered never a word. He was as one deaf and dumb until he reached home, and children who gaw the glare in his eye drew away from him. Mrs. Bowser and the cat sat on the steps as he turned in at the gate and halted at the front of the steps. "Well, did you find paradise?" she a^sked as she braced her feet for the coming explosion. ! But there was none. Mr. Bowser gestured and worked his jaws, but words failed him. ami he limped up the steps, passed her by and fell in a heap in the hall as if dead. M. QUAD. Why It Wa? All Riffht. "You needn't be at all afraid to ( speak to papa, George. I am sure it will be all right." "What makes you think so?" ! "Ke asked me last night what your business is. and when 1 said you were a retired coal dealer he smiled and said < he guessed that settled it.v ? Cleveland Plain Dealer. i ?????? Health is a magnet which irresistibly draws the man to the woman in life's mating time. Health does more than tint the skin with beauty ; it puts music into the voice and buovancv into the step, as well as happiness into the heart. A great many women covet beauty and are constantly seeking aids to beautify them. Let a woman first seek perfect health and all other charms shall be added to her. There can be no general health for women while there is disease of the delicate womanly organism. The first step to perfec: health is to cure womanly diseases by the use of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. It establishes regularity, dries weakening drains, heals inflammation and ulceration and cures female weakness. "I used fcur bottles of y<X'.r 'Favorite Prescription ' and one of ' GoIckS Medical Discovery,' "writes Mrs. Elmer D. shearer, of Mounthope, Lancaster Co.. Pa., "end can say that I am cured of that dreaded disease, uterine trouble. Am in better health than ever before. Everyone who knows me is surprised to see me look so well. In June I was so poor in health that at times I could not walk. To-day I era cured.. I tell everybody that Dr. Pierce's medicines cured me." Free. Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser is sent free on receipt of stamps to pay expense of mailing only. Send 21 one-cent stamps for the book in paper covers, or 31 stamps for the clothbound volume. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. A DARING Vvorw\iViAN. nis Crazy Antics oil an I'nfinI.shed Bridge Across the .Niagara. "I remember," said a bridge contractor some time ago while on the subject of workmen's daredeviltries, "when working at the big bridge across the Niagara when the two cantilever arms had approached within fifty feet of each other a keen rivalry as to who should be the first to cross sprang up among the men. A long plank connected the two arms, leaving about two and a half feet of support at each end. Strict orders were issued that no one should attempt to cross the plank upon penalty of instant dismissal. "At the noon hour I suddenly heard a great shout from the men, who were all starting up. Raising my eyes, I saw a man step on the end of that | plank, stop a minute and look down i into the whirlpool below. I knew he was going to cross, and I shouted to him, but he was too high up to hear. Deliberately he walked out until he reached the middle or tne piaiiK. n sagged far down with his weight until I could see light between the two short supporting ends and the cantilevers on which they rested. lie saw the end in front of him do this, hesitated and looked back to see how the other end was. i "I thought he was going to turn. He stopped, grasped both edges of the plank with his hands and, throwing his feet up. stood on his head, kicking his legs in the air, cracking his heels together and yelling to the terrified onlookers. This he did for about a minute. It seemed to me like forty. Then he let his feet drop down, stood up. waved his hat and trotted along the plank to the other side and regained the ground. "We discharged him, of course, but what did he care? He got all the glory. his fellows envied him, and he could command work anywhere."? Cassiers Magazine. Brain Food Nonsense. Another ridiculous food fad has been branded by the most competent on hano au IUUL ItlCO* xuoj ua* w uiopvAiva uuv silly notion that one kind of food is needed for braiD, another for muscles and still another for bones. A correct diet will not only nourish a particular part of the body, .but it will sustain every other part. Yet, however good your food may be, its nutriment is destroyed by indigestion or dyspepsia. You must prepare for tbeir appearance or prevent their coming by taking regular doses of Green's August Flower, the favorite medicine of the healthy millions. A few doses aids digestion, stimulates the liver to healthy actioB, purifies the blood, and makes you feel buoyant and vigorous. You can get this reliable remedy at Kaufmann's Drug Store. Get Green's Special Almanac. 51?32 Superstition. Parson (visiting prison)?Why are you here, my misguided friend? Prisoner?I'm the victim of the unlucky No. 13. 1'arson?Indeed! How's that? Prisoner?Twelve jurors and one judge.?(Jhiewgo News. Diamonds are worth $300,006,000 a ton. Remember this and don't pay a cent more.?Philadelphia Record. The population of Russia doubles from natural increase once every sixty years. If the Baby is Cutting Teeth. Be sure and use that old and well tried remedy, Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children teething. It soothes t he child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and is the best remedy for diarrhoea. Twenty-live cents a bottle. It ia the best of all. L FRUITS AND FLOWERS. In planting the orchard care should be taken to allow each tree plenty of room. A layer of charcoal in the bottom of a flower bed is very beneficial in keeping the soil fresh. In plowing in the orchard always turn the furrow toward the tree, and be careful not to injure the fine, fibrous roots. The life of an apple tree is often shortened because it grows in a poor, exhausted soil or one not properly drained. When ill or ailing, handle the flowers little or wear gloves. Delicate plants are sensitive to human magnetism, jJWU Ui UilU. The roots of the strawberry often reach out five feet from the main stem; hence the plants should not be set too thickly. An apple or cherry tree is much more valuable if it shoots out low. Trim from the top, as this will cause the lower branches to grow out. Land that has been too rough for plowing may yet be sufficiently fertile to grow fruit trees and is better than land that has been exhausted by cropping. Too Gorgeous Books. The author of "Elizabeth and Her German Garden," writing 011 the "Giving of Books" in the Century, says: Gifts of books addressed solely to the spirit should never be editions de luxe. Of what use is a book to me, however much I may want to read it, if it is so gorgeous that it must not be taken anywhere where rain might fall on it, or where it might get muddy, or where a heedless gua't, caught by the quick turning of a leaf, might leave its legs in the pages, angering the owner of the defiled book, who does not want *4-/-. no r>-? nob no i t ic 1 1 f i IS ll'gd, Uli-LIVOL a J ULi UV.U <A O IV ?? JWV.. angered by having to go on being a gnat without them? I can no more take an overgorgeous book to my heart than I can fold my child in my arms when it is dressed for a party. A Fins Liver Cure. Greenville, Tenn. ' I I have thoroughly convinced myself that Dr. Baker's Blood and Liver Cure is the finest medicine made for Indigestion and Constipa tion. (I have tried them all) and was cured by the use of this medi cine, after all others had failed. I most cheerfully and unhesitatingly onrlnreo if. Ynnra fcrnlv H. N. Baker, Mayor. For sale at the Bazaar. \ A Liffht Sentence? A gentleman now living in New York tells the following story of a negro in Tennessee whose son had been convicted of killing a fellow workman. A few days after the trial the father was asked what disposition had been made of the case. "Oh." he answered, "dey done send Johnson to jail for a monf." "That's a light sentence for killing a man. don't you think?" "Yes." answered the darky, "but at de end of de monf dey done goin' to hang 'im."?New York Times. Diveme Appetite?. "I wonder why donkeys eat thistles?'* said the man who is always finding something peculiar in His. "Oh," answered the ^ho likes plain food, "there is no accounting for taste. If a donkey were to give the matter a thought, I suppose he would wonder why human beings ear oaves." ?Washington Star. An Enviable Position. Biggs?I met a man yesterday who makes his living by buying millinery. Hoggs?Well, what of it? Biggs?Oh. nothing; only I've been buying millinery ever since I was married, and 1 never made any money by it.?New York Herald. \ot Di*?na?led by Compliments. Husband?Your hair is your crowning glory, my dear. Wife?That's all right, but I've got to have a new bonnet just the same.? Exchange. A 5ew Snit In Prospect. "All my best gowns were destroyed in that railway wreck." "And didn't the company give you anj* redress?"?New York Press. does Like Sot Cakes. "The fastest selling article I have in my store," writes druggist C. T. Smitb, of Davis, &y., "is Dr. lung ? New Discovery for Consumption, Coughs, and Colds, because it always cures. In my six years of sales it has never failed. I have known it to save sufferers from Throat and Lung diseases, who could get no help from doctors or any other remedy.'1 Mothers rely on it, best physicians prescribe it and J. E. Kaufmann guar antees satisfaction or refund price Trial bottles free. Regular sizes, 50c and $1. love rnadorned. ''She says that in the whole course nf nor life slio has never been so bliss f jlly happy or so wholly wretched." "I see. Hers is just a commonplace love affair."?Town Topics. Xot to Be Overlooked. He--Don't you think two can live as cheaply as one? She?Yes, but how about the cook?-* Detroit Free Press. If we could raise our neighbor's ehil! dren instead of our own, there would be a model generation.?New York News. i i iii - ii ftflEDFORD^ I BLACK-DRAUGHT I THE ORIGINAL i (LIVER MEDICINp g^ A sallow complexion, dizziness, ? j| biliousness and a coated tongue J2 are common indications of liver ? w and kidney diseases. Stomach and ? I bowel troubles, severe as they are, & g give immediate warning bv pain, g I but liver and kidnev troubles, m I though less painful at the start, are ? much harder to cure. Thedford's K Black-Draught never fails to her.e- ff fit diseased liver and weakened kid- S neys. It stirs up the torpid liver 9 to throw off the germs of fever and j| ague. It is a certain preventive || of cholera and Bright's disease of X the kidneys. With kidneys re- a inforced by Thedford's Black- II I Draught thousands of persons have & 1 dwelf immune in the midst of yel- 5 fit low fever. Many families live in ? M perfect health and have no other ? & doctor than Thedford's Black- ? 9 Draught. It is always on hand for S g use in an emergency and saves S & many expensive calls of a doctor. 1 fif Mullins, S. C., March 10, 1901. ? ? ! have used Thedford's Black-Draught ? ft for three years and I have not had to go ? S to a doctor since I have been taking it. f? at It is the best medicine for me that is J 3L on the market for liver and kidney if g troubles and dyspepsia and other Bjh complaints. Rev. A. 0. LEWIS. nfr!ifffi i ~r TnliCttiiiii'ii' Ti f iTftiflnni A HARD HANDICAP. THE town hall always has a crowd To hoar my Uncle Jim; There ain't nobody in the state That talks as weil as him. But when he run fur office once I had to mourn his lot; Mine and another feller's was % The only votes he got! The man who beat him was a chap Of ordinary mind: He wa'n't particularly wise Nor specially retined, And all he said was, "Howdy do!" In accents mild and bland. And all the work he ever did Was shakin' some one's hand. The voters said they'd tried to help The weak and not the strong; A man as smart as Uncle Jim Was sure to get along. That's why that man of average mind Finds life a restful joke, And incidentally that's why My Uncle Jim is broke. ?Washington Star. Sucl* a Nerve! Bessie?He's awfully cheeky. Mabel-Yes? Bessie?Just because he happened to be engaged to me at the seashore he thinks he has a right to bow to me.? New York Journal. Ban a Ten Penny Nail Through, His Hand. While opening a box, J. C. Mount, of Three Mile Bay, N. Y, ran a ten peDny Dail through the fleshy part of his hand. "I thought at once of all the pain and soreness this would cause me," he says, "and immediately applied Chamberlain's Pain Balm and occasionally afterwards. To my surprise it removed all pain and , soreness and the injured parts were soon healed." For sale by J. E. Kaufmann. The Avernsre Man. Tommy-Pop, what is an average 1 man? Father?An average man, my son, is one who feels that he is a little better than his neighbors.?Philadelphia Record. He Took Advice. "Why have you failed in life?" "My employers always told me that a man with my brains could make more money doing something else."? Judge. Worse. "Mr. Smith looks awfullv Ijiue. Has he been disappointed in love?" "No; ro&rriage."?Brooklyn Lil'e. * You Know What You Aro Taking When you take Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic because the formula is plainly printed on every bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Quinine n a tasteless form, No Cure, No Pay. 50c APPRENTICE QUARRELS. Youdk French Workmen Travel Always Ready For a Fight. ? Jealousies between the workmen's corporations in France result in "Homeric" combats, bloody battles. It is the one bad side of an institution that is otherwise so truly fraternal. They start out in companies, rarely ftlone, to make their "tour of France." Before coming back to continue their work in their own villages the young apprentices go together from town to ? town ro study on the ground the masterpieces of their trade and to see the best that the genius of tneir ancestors . ^ has produced. It is the knight erran- ~ ! try cf the workman. lie earns his living en route, perfects % himself in his profession, learns from one master and another, sees, compares. studies, admires. He gathers hi3 humble harvest of souvenirs and im pressions, enjoys the full vigor of bis eariy years aiul passes his youth along the sunny highways. I Unfortunately there is disagreement J among the "societies." In everything there is found a pretext for quarrels. The society of the Pore Soubise is R jealous of that of Maitre Jacques, and the Knfants du Solomon take part in ^ the quarrel whenever possible. Two companies meet on the road. The two leaders, the "master companions." stop at twenty paces from each other. "Halt!" says one. "Halt!" says the other. "What trade?" "Carpenter. And you?" "Stonecutter. Companion?" ^ * "Companion!" "Your society?country?" And according to the reply they drink 1 from the same gourd or fight. The melee becomes general. They fight, A fist and stick, until the road is littered with those who are wounded, some- . ^ times even to the death.?Harper's Magazine. TT? T.flflnnfld a. ft-PAA^ Tmtll. It is said of John "Wesley that he once said Mistress Weslej: "Why do you tell that child the ?ame thing over and over agaiLf' "John Wes- r ley, became once telling is Dot enough." It is for this same reason that you are told again aDd sgain that Chamberlain's Cough Remedy cures colds and grip; that it counteracts any tendancy of these diseases to result in pneumonia, and that it is pleasant and safe to take. For sale by J. E. Kaufmhnn. The Wind Did It. 1 "I happened to be in a Wyoming town when a city lot was put up at auction," said a Boston drummer, "and in a spirit of fun I made a bid or two. It was knocked down to me at $40, ancb I was wondering if anybody would take it off my hands at half that when the city marshal called on me and said: " "Look here, pard, I want to lease Vion/1 ' J'VUl IVt UJ IUU " 'What do you mean by head?' I asked. " 'Well, it's the only lot in town with a tree on it, and I want to use that tree when there's a hanging to be done. I'll give you $5 every time I use it' " 'And about what sum ean you guarantee?' " 'Oh, it will run $50 or $60 a year anyhow, but if times are good it'll go $80 or $90.' "I closed with him," sr;d the drummer, "and in six months my income was $35. Then, not hearing anything further, I wrote to the marshal, and in reply he said: ' 'Sorry to inform you that your old tree has blowed down and that we now have to walk a man a mile to hang him.'" Becevolent Affair. We pause before a dignified policeman and seek the light. "What," we ask, "is that awful noise across the way?" " ' 1 - -1- - - ? * AV !9 V,114> n I "Tliat?aw, mat am i uoium uui u. iot o' kids cryin' over in tlie foundlin\" is the reply. "Oh," we muse, "a sort of charity, bawl, eh?" And the policeman clubs us. ?Baltimore News. They Never Speak, mt: "Yes," said the engaged girf/*Dick is very methodical. He gives me one kiss when he comes and two when he goes away." "That's always been his way," returned hor dearest friend. "I've heard lots of girls comment on it." Thus it happens that they cease to speak to each other.?Chicago Journal. Too Slow. * * ? ^ ? ? T rtof nVi '3 Messenger r>u\? juuoi juu, ?-*. . Ex-Office Boy-I gev it up. It wuz all on account o' de typewriter. Messenger Bov?Didn't she like yer? Ex-Office Boj? It wasn't a "she," but. a "he." Dat wuz de trouble; nobody ter flirt wit'.?Philadelphia Press. His Life in Peril. "I just seemed fco have gone all to pieces," writes Alfred Bee, of Wei- 0 fare, Tex., "biliousness and a lame back had made life a burden. I ** couldn't eat or sleep and felt a'most 1 too worn out to work when I began J to use Electric Bitters, but they worked wonders. Now I sleep like a top, can eat anythiug, have gained < in strength and enjoy hard work." They give vigorous health and new life to weak, sickly, run-down psople Try them. Only 50c at J. E. Kaufmana's drug store. <9 Tbi* signature is on every box of the genuine Laxative Bromo?Quinine Tablet* |e remedy that earn a eokl In one day . i ^