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rnrnm^mmmmm^MHaanam-mm?mmimm^mm?m ? t _________________ ____________ ______ VOLUME XVI. LANCASTER C. II., 8. C., APRIL 24, 18(57. NUMBER II. SELECTED STOKY. Three Simple Men ol the East In Handy, during lite day* of I lie Kan1 dvan K'njj* of ilie Island* ?>f Ceylon, on a p'eaaant cool I)ec?mlfr evening, tlirea Rtrong man were fitting in a rest lioure, or nnililetnmay?tliat is, a Small open building raided for tlia benefit of traveller* liv *ome pion* person, in accordance vritli tlie sax ing of Hoddha iliat tlie gods rewant inch works of cliari/v. A* the men sat in (lie t?htw of the sun set, a middle need widow, in deep mourn* inc. came hv. Til* ihre* men msa and ho wed to her. 'She a!^o made a how to then). "Tint how was for mo," said one of tli* men. " 0 No," said the second "it was mine.*^ 'Nil," said the third, "it whs to me *h* how eil,'* . Thev quarrelled over the matter for ome time, hut it list agreed that it would he better to rr.n as fast as y^iey could af ter widow, and ask'hyr 'o /rliich'of them ah* howed. They d'?l so, leached her out of breath, pa sped out their question, ntid the only answer they got wits,? 'To the j?rea'*st simpleton amone von.' Then they returned to'tlie resUhouse Calmly, hut, only to quarrel ayain. "Itid I not tell yon," ?rtid one, "that she ho wed to me! I am the oiyatest sim, here." ' N I," *nid each nl til a other two, 'I im more of * nimpleton limn you." The* quarrelled tills f??r rome time, nmi from won!* coining to Mow*, they froight till tl.ec w? re **npp?d the po lire, who Inched them up for the night >n cell?, and carried lliem the next d*v before* judge. .The judge, having heard tiie rmi?e of di?p'Ue, called up<>r? one of tlie men to produce evidence of Li* cUiur. lo l<e s?? great a eiinp'eion. "Mv lord," ee'd fe. "when I *?? alvnt e:ghteen rn*r? o'd, inv lather and mother #et eve* on h voting tmtnn whom thev rnc>??? in i ?* inv "IW. I Imv tlioiiolit ?lie would h* faiiliftil. irdtiMrion* and tliriftv. Sim wa* o*p?rt*d. ?'*o, to inherit a few fl??!d?. Sim *?? of tlie ??m? raaie a* onr> H"d- of good famdv I'ropoaaU, were tnada and accepted, and. ?ivtn af erwardv nrroi^tirij to tli? rtiMom of 0>e counlrv, I had to viait mv futiiro. mutter in-law, til wdmim 1iod?p, tlinnpli not ?'l(n?ol to do m lit^ I to* atrii*t riiK*? of nrietv, v#t. tnm? contrived cUanca. mv intended wife, would almw tier face to me. 1 Imd f*r to travel, and, alartinp *t mid day, arrived lot* in tlx* evening* when I wa? nm?t cordially received,- and moat iuiui't rrijni-piBii 10 ?t?r lor me ingot, Atjfl return home rext iIht. To thin I oornen'eil. with *11 ntf reluctance, although it ha?l hern the object of inr joninev, anH I was f??Mr perrnailed that * glance at mv fill or# partner in the coo! of the rrmniiif, would he !?? tor than one in.jhe Hunk of the evening. I har| an excellent <I:nner, and rlept ?onnd1v under A roof which I n'readi regarded aa mv own. In iho morning f awoke reficahed, inil went out of door* to wmh inr?fl( a* nana'. I fiiriahed mv aldiitinna noon. and on looking hack, oWrvrd a beautiful mime tti'imn, who ot at aome distance from me, wNidriig rirA fo? our morning meal. U?r eml'Arre??ed air, and anme em:'e? wh'rfc ?fo!e o?er her fn<*e almost against her will, easily IaM me fliaf she wnimr betrothed; and I. in defisnrn ot our onstntps. quietjv went near and spoke fo t???r a* there ??i nobody in nirrlit.? fthe ? ** not so,shy a* to tea?? her work and run a?nv, hut stayed, and returned abort, modest nmwrr* to mf questions? At length I went rerw close to her, tap |>ed her on th? shoulder, and playfully taking ?p * handful of the rice she wan fad.inf, I.ad just put if info mr mouth, alitn, fo our litter ronfusion, her mother rand* her apjvarance. I quick!*- rumor ed myself fo a respectable distance. l ot had no fitn* to hite or swallow the rice. Ami ?'> nljigad to Ve?p it l>?tw?an nif gum* and clwmk. Tlii* ahonred mm m lump, which my mo'hcr iu law took for a * fam-M. "Ah ! how ar? you |I?Va morning f' ?h? nai<1. 'You ha*? got m gum Itoil.* *Y?,' An?w?r?d I, Alnit it do?a not gi?? m? Any pain at pr?r*nt, a<j I inland to ! ?* it ahtna till it form* matter ' "You ahould g?t it cored itnmedtatnlr, 1 ali all a?nd fur a doctor.' My ?*cu??a could not haffl? liar ofli cioutnaM, Tlia doctor wan a?nt for, and until It* cam?, aim lectured m? on tli? ?ril of Allowing any a:ckn?a? to mint to a head, and now an.I (lion aha f**lt my gum?hoil. T It? doctor at length armed, ?n<l It? aUo ciammcd. JI? pronounced it to I? <*! of II *?ry niAlfgnaal ?of?, b?i *cir?l?'?. N<?w during all this time mv officious mother in law had her eve on mv cheek, ?inl?! had committed rnvself so far that I could not undeceive her.? SIihiiih at a confession of a falsehood, as wall a* thjj fear of pxpoaing mv previotffc indiscretion, alike kept me silent. The doctor who had been busy in the kitchen suddenly ramo out, and heft re ! had time to avoiifliiui, put a red hot iron book in to my gum-boil. I howled and jumped but lie hud made a deep wound, and out of it came the rice. All present now ?hw the truth, and tli# doctor |?it*kin?* up I the rice, cried at me,? "You hip simpleton, when von on'v had rice in \our mouth, ,wht did vou no* say so ' m "I made no answer, hut took to nit heels and ran home. Then I lost a pood wife and the prospect of a pood fortune, i and have aver since believed in * self the " preatest simpleton vet horn.' Ilavirip laughed heartil^ nt this storv, the judge turned to the second man and j asked,? "What evidence have Ton, vr, of vonr ripht to die l ow v<ni claim !" | "M v s'orr i* short," he answered, "hut I .villsho* I ly|t I l a< e I|S nitieli fight to I ! the how as a|\v man. I married earlv, 1 ] and tried .to he happv, hut found tttv wife could not manape the house without 1 help ; so I married another (po'vpaniv ^ I heinp allowed in mv cotintrv.) and thonpht j that all would he well msn**ed hv the I two, and I rhotlhl pet mi real af cr mv" j dar's labor in the field. Hut alas, | j was mistaken. I had rto more rest a* home It I spoke to one wife for a few j minutes, the other complained thai I did ( no' e^eak to her. I ??? not able to 1 #> e'ow on 'lie l*?awt a 11eti'i >n, or kind ! nfc??, hv deed," word, or ev?*n by a look. ' * 4 without *>ttUT*>ri?iif from ili ? i^lirr'? jf :tloii*v i I Tim* I !??*t h'I peace at lionir, hiii) *?* <1 ?i mi*erable wlie' rvrr had weatlipr or J any o'h<*r oait?? obliged in* lo *tav in | doom, and at night 1 had no e'eep ; if I juried to eleep with in* face toward* or?* wife, the other complained; if I slept *\itli ri'V face to the ground, both eom> ! ' plaioet). 1 wm liarra???;il in this nfUnner until I lo*t yiv patience." and told" them | I there waa only one Ut'ng.to l?e done, and j that wa*, they mti?l. take me each l?v h4 leg and poll ???v till Viev divided me ; l>etwe*n iftem. I had no aooner *poken | ' than they took me at my word. Tliev me l>v the feet and hfgan to pull 1 hwh\ with all their strength, each Irving j I to outpull (lie other. In lUin ex remity, j I I could nnlv acremn for help. Tim ueighi | , I?>rn rushed in. and I wan'exiricsted ; hut nurli laughing, jeering and hno*> ir?f mi the nmpVton w|^? had thus given hiinmlf Up to his wives, that I tool to flv from tin country, and now I ant* here h I beggar. Mv countrvmen l?n*e ever ??nce a pole en of me n* the Great S'inp'e'on " Thin ntorv having been told, the third , A man, at tliU request of the Judge, related , the following :? ^ ? "I married, at about the age of t nentv, a rich voting woman j but inatead of add. ing to her wealth, l?v trading, or C'I! ing room lucrative rnurthi of life, I did nothing until our inonev wan all gone.? Then, being compelled he hunger, Rnd touched bv the position and entreaties of 111* wife. } went to work. I labored all tlafdar in a rich mat/a garden, and with mv ?m:aga bought a small quantity of rice atol returned home. Mv wife baked .1 i t i ii r>-e i-hk*** ot tne rice, and wo sat down to en' them, when h dianote arose between u* a? to which htii a right'to two. I s>?i?l that I outfit I to {jet two, a* I had tpiled all d?V and earned them a'l ; my wife maintained that the ought to get two, hi alio had brought with her so much money, mhI had fed me no long, and had, heaide*, to ?n k? and hake ^l?e cAm. lioth of ua were obstinate, Mild would by no mean* : c?n?ent to an equal diviaioy. At length niV wife hit Ufy>n a plan She prop-aed that we ahotild *>t by the cake*, and who, ever ?p<-ke tiret should only get one. I agreed and fco we aat up ail night with out speaking. Ahout daybreak I fell a?!eej>, quite wearied, and an did mv wi^e ; hut we roue aoon, and looked at ourcakea, and remained silent. W? did not ait much longer in thiiP manner, hut both fainted. Shortly after ihia, our neigh lay a, seeing our door cloaed, and hearing no voice or sound of stirring within, came anil knocked. As thev received no an *wer, they broke open the door, and found na lying apparently dead, bill warm. Hof fiWcvilt<? taw A I.A * - *" J...v .... tw 1'?1 nnunilT Oeft'l, tliey iitm'.o ft pil* of wood mid moot onf.>r1unfttaU j'itt ondefnaftlh fit*. U hurried ill* wood on mi *h)m t?f ilia an quick. I?*. th*t i|i?i ban' DfAQOHl ma Ml oricf, Mnd 1 jump*) I up witli m loud rry of 'Oh !'? !u tba n**t moment iiiv wila varied up od cried, 'Ah, jou cm qct only on* onke !* Our neighbors were surprised at this performance of the corpses ; but when miv wife in great glee boasted of [ler | victory, him! explained herse'f,'.hey laugh ed at us uproariously, and udji us that wrre both ol us the greatest simpletons thev ever heard of." i n.B judge settled titn claims of the three simpletons thus: ? ' You are really three verv great sim-H pleto?>?, an.I it is not e-tsv to deride which of you ought to get the how The first, however, suffered not or.lv from Ids folly, hut on accoimt of his love, and hecnu?e he had not ?ifiR.?rvo<l it'? ' ' . - %?.V7 I 1 f I ? >1 I' I I III ilia doctor will) the re! lint'iron hook. The. second sntrared her a me lie com mil led a mistake, aud Ins wives tonk unjust adran tape of il. 1'ut.the tliird suffered Marva lion, solely herunse >>f Itis fool slnioss, and is therefore the greatest simple!on. In llt? present q.vmel, how-i-vsr, all (life have l.een equal simp'elons in fighting f.>r mi wnr'li'ess a i.hing'as a passing stranger's liow.'\ Advice to Mn-ria^eable Girls. 1 hi Midi's 1'iirkel Bool Contain* the fill- ; lowing from die pen of a "sii g'e woman i of the wmr'd " w hieh we commend to 'he consideration ?? " the tnanv voting lad'es j who d'lHv pemse the column* of 'I'llk MKRCI itY : ,-lf a man wipes lr? feel on the door > rft it Jo-fore coming m'o the room, von niav lie sure he will make a good domes tie liitshand If a man. in snuffing the cand'es, nuts thein ont. von may he sore | he will in iln l^ti|'Wi husViand If a man pills a han lkerrhief oft his knees whde taking tea, von mar lie sure he will he a prudent hnshand. Jn the same^way, al i wavs mi?triist ihe man who will not take the 'as' piece of to is", hut pr"'ers waiting for the next w^rm ha'ch ; it 's riot unhke lv that he will make a greedv and ?err selfish hnshand, with whom von will en i jov tio "hrow n'' at dinner, no crust at lea, no peace whatever at home. The' man I mv deafa, who wears c"T>?her, hik] i* careful h^ohi wuppiiiiji'in'flf up hef r<e venturio* into ill* night air, not iij]fre ntient'v make* a good invalid husband, , that mostly. nioim at home and js easily comforted with slop*. Tim man who watches the ke'lle and prevents it* hoiling L over. wtil not fail, mv dears, in his married state, in exercising the sany* care in al ' wars keeping the pot boiling. Tlie ntan win dni-xii't, lake ' e j ill tie a l? tlie cat, takes snulV, stands with his liack to tlie ( lire, is a brute whom I would not advise * ? voii, nit dears, to marry upon anv con' j s'lh-ration. either for lo*? or inouev ; but | ni"sl decidedly not for love Hut the man I .... who. when ili.- st.' i is over, ia discovered t?^k*v? had nrtne, is sura Jo make a good hw^hftod l'atiencn, Ukn h^ deserves being 1 ri'w?ri|i-il with t1 e In* t <>f t?ivee,*enl the l>i"4 of iHotli^rs in Ihw. My r|e?r*. ?ht>n I ' von meet with stt.'h a iiihii,*<Io vonr nt iuo?t to merry him. In the teveroet j hn would no' mini going to he.I I ft ret. Moz irt's Lnst Effort. The <1\ ino fitther rni-ed ^kimseir on hie r<>U'li Hf.'W enitl, "Yoit epolte of re'reel . intent, (itv ilNitgliler, it mn e'ilfl.? :?tT>r.! pi| 'o ntv feinting tool; tiike theme notne. tlie I ret I tell nil ever pen, nit I lit iloen to tlm instrument. Sing with thefli t h?^ hvtnn eo heloretl h? emir i -? in? t?ni*e nv?re hear thoae tone* wltirh t have been ir.v dolight, mv pulsion, ainee mv earlieat ninicinhranfe." KmiMie <IM *? ahe wu? ?lea>rnil, ami it seemed h* if alia anight relief from her own thought!; f >r after ntnnint; ov?r h few chorda of the pmno, aha />inmefi-.v,l ! in the awaetest voice the following linea : * ''Spirit ! tlijr J at tor ia o'er, a Thv tv in ?>l probation i? run, Tit/ atcpa arc now bouii'F tor tbw untio-Men a hurt.! And the race of immortal* begun. Spirit ! look not on the rtrife Or the pleasure* ol eaith with regret ; .Pause not tin the tlirmhohl ol liiuiilct-a life, To mourn lor the iiaj Ibat la art. Spiiil ! lio letter* c?n bin.I No wicked have power to molest. There the weary like thee, and ike wretched shall timl * A heaven, a mansion of rem. Spirit! how bright is the road For wtiich thou art now o.i the wing,^ Thy home it will be witii thy Saviour and God, iiiwir Iwi|i| li?lli-IU|*1)4 (o Mng." A pre*.! iiH^ti^inlur < ( Srw Y??rk St*?? wanted lli? *i"K? of a l?ird t ? fly to ??ffT town nil*! coui'trT, l<? every village nil I'ahiUi, in ilia lifiui, l>ut li? wi.ted lift) h molality liny in tli? criwd *nng out : "Dry up, yot? old fool; *ou\l k<*t aliot fur a gooao (efura)ou flit ft inilo " l ' Cousin Saliy Dill.it d.? . IIV. II \ 111 I.I )>j c JUNKS. ? fit is about linn- to republish '.he following Kinstory, and we therefore give it a place | Scena? A Court of Justice in North Carolina : A beardless diselntn of TUmi!' and tlilis addresses the Court : "M ?v it please your worship* and you, gentlemen of the jurv, since it dins been mv fortune (good or "bad I will not say,) 'o exercise invself iu legal. disquisition, it has nhvcr befallen in* to be obliged to prosecute so, direfully marked nri assault?a more wil fnl, violent, and dangerous batierv, nnd finally a more diabolical broach of, the peace, has se'd on happened in a ci*iii/'-d 1 country ; ami I dare say it Seldom has been votir dlitV to pass upon one so short,-, ing to benevolent feelings, as this which took place over at Captain liice's ill this coimirv; but \on will Jiear fmin the witi The wit"e<??s being sworn, two or three were examined an ! r'.espoae.l : One said that lie heard the noise hut did not see the fight ; anAt'ier that ho saw the row, but did not kicw who struck first, and ! another that i.e was verv drunk and couldn't sav iniiabout the skrhntna<?? ? Li wr#*r Chop*?I am virrv, utMitleinen, | lo have occupied your tiitu* wi'li 111 * *tu*| pulttvo' 'he wito***## examined. It arises, j gentlemen, from a m ssp pi eheiinmiam tnv j | > t r t II ?< 1 I k-i iw-n, as I i|<?, ili hi I had wiinwho whs fton'runted with ad the C rt'iliustiilli 6s of llil) tilse, Hlii] wlio w.?S | hI-V to m ike himself cleariv un I? r*tood to (lit* di'irl and j iry, I sho^d not have ' lrt"-*P'?sshi| so lo- ^ on tour jriiiiiiict.? j Collli* for w H n|, Mr 11 arris, and 1ft* sworn. 1 a *1 So forward colli!** the witness, a fat. clinlTv old in?it, h "Vi-l ?j" corned, mid i took hi* o ?ili w itli hii ?ir. Chops?II niis. we wish you to tell i hIioii* th? not dint Iihiiileneil the oilier > i! IV at Captain IliOe'n am] a good deal of tune lias a'leady hemi wau'ed Hi circuin | locution, we wish you to lie compendious, | | at itie li,.,- I -- * a .?n ci|M in a* possible. | Harris?%<lz ?kly (gi?iig tlie lawyer a knowing wink, al tlie saiue time. clearing Ii"ih throat,) Captain liice lie gin a treat, Cousin Sally l>nl?nl she come over to out.] house rtltvPaXei) me if is.y wife slfe tuouin't go. I told cousin Sails I hoard Unit my wife whs p 'orly, being ;?? Low die ba.i a 1 toucli of rheumatics 111 die li p, and ihe lug asvauij) was up in tlie road, there bavin* been a great duaj ot rain lately, j but liowsoiucVer us it was site, cousin 1 Sally Pi.lard", 111 v w fe site moot go.? Well, cousin fealy lJ.ij.trd ibeu axed me if Muse die llioliiu'l* foi. l'to.d cousin Sail) l>iliaid llial lie was fort-mao ot Ilia crap, aiul tfo crap* 9ns smartly 111 the ; but, Iniw^omtver, as it Aim him, c9u?m Srti^j 1'illnri^, Mi.^ itu tuuul go. <Jli'?|>*?Iii the 11 mil? uf cdminon sense, Mr. Hairs, what ?J > \ ou mean by this rigiuaroje 1 \\itness?Captain Rice lie h treat, an 1 cousin Sailv Jl.Nrtnl she tome over to my hdufe nod ax. l ino if my wile sin* inoulu't go, and 1 told cousin S.iby 1 >11. lard?* Chops?Stop, sir, :f you please, wo don't want to hear about your c?U>in Sully lhllard, or your w ile ; tell us about the tioIm. at lin o's. . Whines*?Wod,*I will, sir, if you wi'.l let II.e. Chops?Well, s r, ji on. Witness?Well, Mr, t annin Rice l;0 g.ii ? treat, and couaitt # * 1^ Humm i..ie Coino over li liiy*lioflse. and toXcd foe il :nv wiin aiiH 1111??11 i"? / p"" t 0|/gps? lime u >s again. Witness, please do slop. Witness? Weil, sir, what do you want! Chops-?-We wiyrt to know about the fight, ?n?l you must not proceed with tins impertinent star*. 1' > you know any1 tiling about the matter be'ore the Court 1 \\ itiie-s?To to sil'0 I do. Chops?Well, go on, then, and tei! il, snd nothing c m Witness ? Well, Captain Htoe he gin a treat? Chops?Tli's is intolerable May it piea?- the Court, I move that tjie witness j t>e commuted lor a coutempt, lie seems tj be trilling wilhTlns court. Court?Witness, you are before the court of justice, and, unless you Itebuve yourself in h more becoming manner, jou will be sent to jail ; so b?gl% and tell what you know about the tight si lice's. Witness, nmneahat alarmed ? ? ell, gsrtlemen, Caplam ltice he gir. a trsat, andwsoitsirf Stlly I).hard ? Uoiirl?(<?ft*r deliberating) Mr. Attor ney,tlie court i* of opinion that we may ?ve time by letting the witne#* go on hi* own way. Proceed, Mr. Ilnrri*, with your s!"i \, l>ut stick Io vim point, \\ iftier-s? Yes, lo-nilemen. We'd, Cap ta n I{kv Id* iii h treat, hti 1 c<Mi~it? Sally Dillati! -c ?me ever to our house atul axed mo ii toy wif.? s!io moutn't co. I told coii iu S illy Ililhud that my wife slot was pootlv, lioiii|? us how she had the rheumu1 lis in her hip, and the hie swamp was up ; how ver, a*- it was she, cousin Silly i);.l.?rd, mv wife she moilt jni. Colls 11 Si. v I* hard then axed me if Mo.se he uioumi'i oo I tohT cousin Sallv IMlnrd as how *Mose was the foreman of thp crap, and the crap was smartly in the ora-s, t.,,1 t... ..... i.iinMnnrviT, as ll w is slie, CO'lun Sally l> 'wr?[t M'.*> !?.? mout i_;o. S i thev tro.-s i ii t >^p'.lier, Mosft, iiiv wife, ami . Si. y I>i!13r< 1, ani] tl:ev mines to the ! lt siv?inji, an>l it was up. as I was Je'hti vou ; Itiit being ns'how 111 ro was a !ft.' across tin* big Kwartip, cousin Sally mrrtui anil \lnso, like genteel f 'Lk--, they walked tlm loir, but inv wifs, like a ilano il fool, i-1 hinted 'her coats ami waded right through ? I'lp ps?lien veil ami enrtli, this is too had; Iml go on. Witness ? W eM" that's all I know about the lit. ' Neck-Twisting in Church. A good slorv is tol I of an eccentric old par<nn, who wis sorely annnvpil l?v a halvt his people had acquired (an ! which prevai's hv the way, in all other churches, even now ami hereabout* to some extent) of twisting their neck? around everr time anvl>odv entered the door, and parsed tip the H'sle of the meetinghouse, to tee what manner of person it might be. Wearied with the annorance, the old man exclaimed one Sunday t "Brethren, if vou will onlv ceasA |nrn ing vour Ifeail* rontul whenever the door open*, and will keep your attention on tne. I will hlnmi.A to I .* 1 fot. n- t -t. r ?ua, nn 1 who it ii\that enures in." According'v lie went on with the service* and prpsentlv made a stop a* one of the deacont entered. aating? ''That is Deacnn , w^o ke^rs the grocer^ opposite " . Ami tlten he aiinquneed. sn tnrn, Vhe advent of each individual, proceeding the while with his sermon as composedly as the circumstances would admit, when at last a stranger came in, nhen lie cried out? "A litt'e oM ntan in prce'n spectacles ami a dmh overcoat?don'? know hhn? you can all turn rout.d#and look for rour selves thjs time." It is hard1* necessarv to add that the pood man carried hi*point, and there was hut litl'e neck Twisting seen in his congregation after that dUr. An old fadv, lifting asked to subscribe to a newspaper, declined or\ the ground that when she wanted i.%ws she manufac. ttired it. . Sw . a ?? A rif liar Am o r?? o ? ,? .r. *r? vwu niiiinintiuru 4 Mr?. Jasper tol.l me that she heard Mrt?:?t Wood's wi^> say that John Hardstone's aunt mentioned to Iter that Mrs. Truatr wn present when tha widow liar man tail tliAt Captain llerifM's cousin thought 11. z. Do )link*'* sister l>elieved ll.at old Mi*. Oxl.v reckoned tl>?? Sam Ti Hi's I'CI.t h ? f lia.T tol.l Mr* Spaldlnc tlmt she liear.l .lno. lihennes's woman say that her mother tn1d*her that Mrs UHostf4!e l.ad two husband*.' Ckkiht.?The most trilling actions tlia KllVcr n m .ii's credit are to be regarded Tlte ?iit Lof v.i'm hammer at five in tin m>>riiin(j, or n:nc m night, heard hy i ere.Jitor, in ?kes In n easy six m<>n;h longer; but if he sees vou at a Wliarr tabic, or h.-ars your vo ce at a tavern when von should he at work, he rends fo his mor.ey the n-vt day ; demands it he fore In} can receive it in r? lump. ^ Cai'TUIie ot a Wiiai.k ??Oii Saturday ! last a whale some forty*/-"' long, wsi captured oil" Ileal) fort harbor and safeiy loBcl into porv. It is said lit at forty banc's ot oil will be the* ro???It. "Mnrsjarv, wUt <n<l you do with the (allow that Mr Jones greased liin boots witli to d?\ ?" "Please, inarm, I fried the griddle cak? w?lh it." "Lucky for J'ou, I thought V? (1 wasted it" Co! ) feeliijire the general health ; a cold head is n va'uable possession; a cold boulder is something thai lias lo be occasionally employed. A member of the lv?nsis Senate, who had been pretty strongly advocating female snll'rage, or,i a letter from his. wife the other day. Sa d his lend, ; spouse, "Sain, don't m ike a fool of yourself |" The reason w|,y *0 few marriages Are hall! V ia liM<:lll>a ?Ann/. I.J:... -? ' - II/# 7 imim apCHU III til time ii; making not in making cnge?, A (i R I C II LTU-KAL. From tlic Southern Cultivator. The Culture of Vegetables. iiy cltari.es a. pkaiiodv, Onions.?Onions waro originally found in l'\'vpt, and so. hi.;itlv were they esteemed in ancient times, that the chosen people of find, when on their way to the promised land, murmured at God's jkror' iiience, and sighed for the Leeks and Onions of Lgfpt again. There are three varieties of Onions cultivated, ti e lie I, bite, and Yellow. The White is the mildest, hut is not as easily kept through tli? season as the other two, being mora i o ljned to rot. Those are ail made from seed. They niav he planted in the Kail, or in .1 enuarv, February, or -M ?rch. I prefer February to anv other month to put the seed in, but I have made fir.a bulbs i>v planting the s"ed a? late as April. There is no garden seed planted, that is more sure of coming to perfection in this c un ite, that the Onion, if properI ' 1 , 1 ly planted. The soil mu-t he highly ent riched, with well decomposed manure.?I It is well to soak the seed twenty four j hours before planting. Plant in drills, fonrteeh'incbes spar', in the drill. Cover the ?Ped about half an inch, and press the I earth solid on them. If the seed coma 1 np well, thin out every other oru>. Tba Onion Bed must be kept free from grass j and weeds, and frequently stirred with ( the fine. A top dressing of ashes will be ; highly hertwficial in the earliet stages of thfir growth. Salt is also an excellent manure Art Onions, The bulbs will be fit for the table in JiiIt and August, and from their late maturity, can be kept through the winter. For an early crop of Onions, plant the Set or Button.? ] The?tf mav be put in the ground any 1 time from October to March. Plant them ! a.tiu r.i? ?.- > ' ... ? - I ... urn iiia irr?, miy pin ".imn IWI) I inches farther apart in the ('rill. Onion Sets planted in January or February, ni l I make fine bulbs for the table in Mar and ' J tine. The button will make a greater I quantity of bulbs, but they are not as I delicate or ns solid as the seed or set.? j Buttons planted in the Fall, in good j ground will make the buttons again.? Tn planting the small onion, set or button do not cover them deep. Just cover tl\e i bulb ; tbe finest bulbs ore made abo>e j the ground. Okra.?Okra hf1nn$* to the family of ; the Cotton plant, and like cotton, it is ex* J tremely tender, consequently will not bear planting'before the last of Match or the first of April. It may he planted in drills three feet apart, and as it increases, in ! size, thin out to tbr.ee frest in the drills. To hare early "Gombo Soup" the earliest I nods should ho ?ai'?rl for too/1 ).u? ll.A.t t I - *' j stalks from which nods for fating are ! gathered, should ?iot be allowed to ma* I turn .need. Asfask.as trie pods become hard and unfit for tbe table, cut them eft*. I They will jf left on the stalk destroy the I productiveness of the stalk. . iTy keeping , them free from ripenir.tr seed pods, thev I will hear until Frost. Okra,en good soil, . will make almost a tree, hut it *is no ad* r * , vantage to have such monstrous stalks, as it is difficult to gatTier the pods, and j the roots take up as much nourishment aa a tree^whioh m-st'y Cpes to the formation of stalks, with but little benefit to t the pod. Any aoil that will grow cotton ' will grow Okra. The pod may ho pre* server^for winter "se by putting them d down in sa't, like cucumber*, or by split* , ting the pods and drying them in the I j shade. 1 Cctwormb?From my own observa* j tione, it appears tlfbse worms age never ' a!4o to crawl the length of their bodies ! up n perpendicular bank of earth, before !.*?, i ~ .4 -1 I i / n T/ mr-f MHH mrir nmi uiii, n nijr , supposition correct, tliat these worms coma mostly from surrounding fields, T have that a single deep furrow around the outside of a field or garden, when the worms are fir?t beginning to ' J appear, (any break in the land aids of the i ! furrow, being repaired with the hoe,) i J WT.uld form a harrier over which it would , ha impassible f<>r them to make their j wav, thus protecting the whole field ef? feeniallv, at a very trifling cost.? Dr. j Ann Fitch, in >V. V. Entomological He , Port. ["Or. Fitch is a very careful observer, and the ab<>v a siiffffestion mar ha worthc ' I of I rial. It is very certain that cabbage plants, when set in a trench, four or five inches deep, are not molested by thecuti , worm, ami head equally as well, if not bettor.? El>. Cl l.T.J There is nolliinf belter for wives and dauyh'era, phteioallv, than to have the , care cf a garden.