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m ' ' V. A'" . T" ? * * > ? V - * .> > - . V* * . *T ?" ." ' <? -f ?. *' ^ .- ,? .* . v- .v-v'U*f?>v.- ' V V i>4"h i ? 1^48^*#. . ? .. . ; ...? -. * X "* K ' . # 4. the lonrasttt fcFScE -' --L-- -- -L-JJ-L'?JBJJJ. _a... .w^WW- 1 i-LS-i*- J.BJjy.jj^sg^^^^BWHWHgWLU 11 LA. I ? I I I i Ss2 P K, I! ANNUM 'rum in tlir !?? *??*?It* I?*'???Ihr Sliccm Mirvcy, T\T \ f \1T a XT/"^1 T7H A J 1^lt lfl? with Jh?i uomltoiM of euih p.^si.,?dHy. 1JN AUVANlyJE il /auiilg nail ^olitiral iJpiuspnjipt Cruotei) to tljr Jlrts, irirnrr5, litrrnturr, tfilacntiffl, Sgfitfltttrr, ?nlrrnal Siuprnapuipnts, /arrigu and rompstic Jipms, null tjir Jilarkpts. c V 0 L U M E VI. LANCASTER, C, II, SOUTH CAROLINA, WEDNESDAY MORNING, JULY 15, 185?, NUMBER 22. 51 Jtlortfii $>tonj. , From the Newberry Mirror. TH E EA8TE K EGGS; A TALK OF XOVE, POETRY AND PROSE. UY 0. 11. M A Y E It. .* * CHAPTER III. The most favorable condition for Poetry. in which hum.ui nature can be placed * is surely during a proposition of marliage; and yet no man is guilty of v"blanker prose," than on such an occasion. There is more poetry uttered in a trade for a half a yard of Swiss Muslin.? C'u.vual thouyht. Tlie forenoon of Saturday was spent by DaviJ it; great anxiety. Lie had now his letter written, and tesolved to deliver it with his KAster egg. that very S ttur day night, in propria prrsoua. lie had also aelvCted ami inemoiizcd several plira , ses, winch he intended a* preliminary to the all important step of "uxi:?" Hekky it 1. ^ i J * ? i: sua \voii:a nave iiiin. no, annul stin . down, lie diattioUlud at the gate of Mr. 1 Jacob Towns. '(.iooil evening, I>;tvy my boy, how j goes it f was the salutation the merry old man gave his visitor. T"ust rate 1 thank \ou, how do you Jo yourself?' answered l>.i\i<l. T*al as a buck, only I,can't jump as * far,' replied Mr. Towns, hi caking into a loud laugh. Then, striking 1 >.?vi.I a so vuro blow with bis tist between the shout lor blades, lie lade Iiiin go along into the house, that it made an old fellow feel twenty years older, to look at sncli a young, lieaily looking, strapping r.i>kal as ho was. i) tvwl billowed the old ijentlein.in into I tin* house. "I in*r??, before h won.low sews. injj, sut llekkv Towns, so ouz/.iin^ iu hor loveliness that liaiid not approach V her. 'Ilowily Dave,' saM Uekky, ri?in<; up Hii'l ooino to mcot liiiu with her linn.I extended, 'Ink** a chair Mini set down.? Illow have you boon Have I' 'Why n<?t \ery weil Mbs Bekkv. I've been troubled ? with ? a ? I ? hain't linen exactly well llekkv.' llow B.ivid could tell such a barefaced lu* I am unable to conceive, unless it w as Will, the view of eve'oio.r v.. I I-.. (pity in the Iiuhoiii of hi* mistress. I am sutiidiml. that Ilekkv Town* never Ii.nl her notion* >>f manliness in health, shape, ^ and featuie, *o fu ly realized, as when she gazed up. n David 11 artnutii that Satur i<l iv evening bef>re liltsler of the vein 18HU. Mrs. Tow lit caiua in. at this moment, ami gave her neighbor's s.m a hearty greeting. \\ liy la! Dave, what a line looking young iii.iii you have grown up to. NYliv you must weigh nigh unto a hundred ami fifty pound*.' *1 weighs jest a hundred ami till v-thiee, on Mr. Summer's still verd*,' leplied David, ! uf r-ii.rlktoti?i>.r luiiiaoll ? ?.! 1 . -? ? imii-iiii , iiiiu nn-'iiill'^ urn his chest, like a soldier, at the command | front f'lcr ! Well, I suppose you have been we'd Ilave Y '1 hain't nothing to complain of,' he answered, in wane eiiitiMrrassiiu-ut, im tier this cioss examination. lie wmiomewhat relieved, however, by the disappearance. of llekky, who went out to superintend the preparation of on; per.? Mr. Towns then began n conversation with him about agricultural matters, in thecourseof which he remarked that it was too dry to do anything. To which David answered. llial Ins una of tins mire opinion, ami Unit "truck wits a sutiVrin for want of tain.' Mia. Towns enquired after th? statu of his mothers garden, and declared it whs, 'utletally oupostible to plant anything ontel it would rain?now ' that whs the (iod's truth.' ^ Supper was ready?and they all jested themselves around the table. 'Say grace, l>ave,' whispered llekkv, I with a look bewitchingly beseeching. Tliej bend their lieads reverently f.?rward, and David llartman, for himself . and the family, wlraso guest he is, gives ? thanks to the Provider of the Universe, j |n the following wools : I *AlailsWlV ti.i.1 lltStS liliM^'innn ? " ? I .. p b"'; " """v "" k".1 ?ifi; may lliey be enjoyed with a sense *-A thy ioVu unto us, hiiiI to all mankind, j Amen. . For tho tlrst lime, since the foot and stirrup ntt'.or, he tell an inclination to eat; and, to the gratification of old Jacob Towns, who judged of a man's hualth by the quantity of food lie masticated, j my hero, whom I do'candidly think is deserving of pity, devoured the half of a broiled fowl, Hvo wattles, one big Dutch Fork biscuit, and two cups of Coffee?to ; eay nothing of a saucer full of preserved quinces, which Mrs. Towns antioun^ crd, were made by her daughter's own band. After supper David and Jlekky sang r livinns, which had a powerful anodyne effect upon the old folks, who started frequently out of sound nods, and nar- j rowlv escaped falling off their chairs, Mammy,' exclaimed Dtkkv, Mo go to l?ed,?I declare you will fall upon the floor toreekly. Now you and daddy go riglrt to t>?d ; for there ain't no use of p yonr settiu up here?unless you coobl r talk and laugh with u?.' \ Thus admonished Mr. Towns rose up ' from hie chair, with his mouth stretched to the utmost limit of the ball and socket * % - K + * I "T^ nuns were extended above liis Wad, his hands convulsively clutched,and his body wrilliing, as though ho wmo *nlVering an agony too great lor human nature. L>ut it was only a yawn?and such a yawn :>s 1 none but a contented, well treated old man could indulge in ;?a yawn that made every joint in oid Jacob Towns crack, from his j iws to his ankles, lie then proceeded towards his chamber door, followed by his wife, and, after getting through with another paroxysm ol yawn ing, which lasted nearly sixty seconds, and uttering a sneeze of tremendous emphasis ho retired, not without re appearing, however, in the most ludicrous dishabille, to request David to look out betoro he lit lw?ll !I?*il w???? ? ? - .. ?... ?w vwm ? '* ii viivti v: ? ci nu y signs of ruin appearing in the "f.iruia* uient." Dnvi.l drew his chair close up to JJekkv's. 'Ilt?re is something purty 1 have bru'l \on, hut you ntuoi'l Unk at it untel you go to your room. Say ing this, he drew u small calico hag, very awkwardly made, frym under his vest, and placed it in UekUy's lap. 41 declare, if it aint a Mister egg,'j she cried, us she took the hag in her hand, hut 1 won't look at it tel 1 go to bed.' There's sometliin wrote on it, and there's souielhiu' else in the hag.' Uek ) ky, in answer to tlii.-, bestowed upon l).i \ id a look of such overpowering tender ties*, mat tc was loreed to abandon nil 11i ? j?i clituiti ?ry steps, and seizing her ; hand, lie said : \Mi.s^ Uekkv, I love you. and you know it ; tlieii what's the n>e of waslin words ? till mo now if you love me. or no. S!ie :?reiled her f?co tin instant, and then suddenly looking liiiti full in llie 11 Cs, ic piled with a setioil8iiss-> thai do ehired the iiievocttble nutuie of her answer. '\ e~, l)ave, I love you, and if you don't know ii'?here slio dropped her eye* and blushed ? 'I rid rure \??u ought lo know il.' 'And you'll mairv ine 5' 'Ves, Dale.' 'And if your parents won't consent lo j it, vru will run away with me I' v..- 11 i *. i ? ii1 * V I * Ull l\ I I > V* 1 ? III* 'At.il' continued lJ.ivi 1, 'you'll kick M irtitn Sawyer !' 'Yes ; ? l?ut give ino time, Have, so that 1 cat. do ii without hurtin' his feel j iiis.' . Xulda lieurted Hokky ! when misfortune si.all approach your home to de'ivor ' \ou your allotment (.'I earthly w< those wor?ls shall shine out upon your cottage door, uiol \our happiness shall remain utttn iried ! '1 never gave M irtiii any reason to helievu that 1 loved liiiu, hut it's as much as I can do to prevent him from axin' ine to marry him. Here is a Ihistor egg he 1 give me vUtcrday.' She r..se up from her chair, an 1 followed by l>aviJ, went to the mantelpiece and took from a tumbler u guinea egg dyed in madder. oincf \<>u jrjivo nie votir egg. stic conliutici, 'I have foil upon a |>!hii to let M.tilin know (lull I prefer yon.' 'Martin's been iny bn/./.uin friend, ntnl lie lias know'd for iuoio i??.r three weeks j that I loved you ; now I'll be d"gg,.J if ''.Mi, I hive ! have! what liavo you said 1 '? it's profane swoariu' as sure as you're a man, I live. To think now that vou have cursed in 1:1 y presence! Oil, Dave! have! did I think this of you Don't git Into a (jua-rel with Martin.? lie lias such a high temper, and you know what a dreadful light lie ha l with Jake Smit*. < Hi dont quarrel with hill). for my soke, 1 )ave, do tionl !' I >?>x u,v cftt *'f l'm ttfrnid of him,' : reiterated 1 >.tvi<J with a stubbornness for which Uiugwood ought io have scratched dirt into lus face for it month afterwards. Tears Htresiuit 1 over liekky'n face.? i She clasped l>avid's arm, ami, bearing all bur weight upon it, forced liiiti back into the chair from which he ha<l risen, ami sank upon his kneo ns naturally as a i clnl.l would have done. Her heait was full;?the man who had said grace at her father's table, and to whom she was betrothed?av, irrevocably betrothed ? had sworn a frightful oath in her presence. Sim hid Iter face .upon his shoulder and " [it JMIUUUSIV. I'JIVIU COIIIll noi ?t*ml it?who conlrl ? Tears thu size of April ruin drops ran races down hi* cheek*, and, after several inaflectual attempts to keep liia heart down l?y swab lowing, it would come up to tlib very lop of his tluoat, whore it poured out its anguish, in the most woeful sobs. Oh Jeeminv ! what have 1 went and j done! Oh llek-kuk-ky do hoo oo-don't cry so !' You no ho wo ho wo-ho wo-ho'ut hurt my The fho f'he f'hceliugs any more Dave )' sobbed Uckky. 'No Itekkv I won't ;?I'll be d-? An-nnd you wo bo wo-ho wo-ho'nt say you'll bo do ho do-ho do bogM any mora!' No Itekkv. Now do bush I'll tirom ise you anything.' An an an au?j you won't fbi fhi fbL fhight Martin Sawyer j' No Hokky }' ! She kissed him. Then, taking her handkerchief, she wiped the tear* from David'* eyes and her own alternately, until lhair eye lids became as red as the un- j dercrust of a blackberry tart. * ? * * St. John's Church ! Who has not a spot, honored above all others as the rallying point of pleasant recollections f? True it is only a country church ; but tbere was a time, when the traroller used to rest his bone at Col. Cooot* for an Iiour, and take his way across the holds, and through thu woods, to visit St. Johns; lor it was widely known that tliero were some peculiarities in its architecture worthy tf notice. It was built l?y the rude unlettered lir-t settlers of Dutch Folk ;? but the pewlike arrangement of the scat*, the arched ceiling, and the truly beautiful pu.pit ate monuments of a taste,w hich surely sprung from recollections of Cathedral grandeur. Above the head of the speaker ^loi (ho j nrpeso of rellccting the voice down upon the audience) is lixed something like a crown. It is large,wiih a flat siiioiiili 1...in.in mi i.. .. : -- ??|? y 11 O HH.II IM I?;% 111 ted a five rayed star. 1 once heard Judge O'Neal make an affecting allusion to this sta\ lie was delivering a Tempeianco address in the Church, and his remarks were at the time directed to the ladies.? Me told them he had long admired and houored the M itch hoik matron ; lui' he knew many an instance, where the treas ure, hoarded through her industry and economy, for the happiness of her offspring, was squandered be the hnshand tn his unnatural th'mt, and 'she had nothing left lmr to trust in'?here he turned and pointed upwuids?'but the star above your jailni'.' fit. John's Church !?There are few ikjw living oi (Host* who listened to the voice of I'ar-ou Waller, and hi* chorister J oil ii IjOlim-r. I once hear I the latter inyselt, when the li- v. Mr. Meet/.e preach- I e?l, in tlie ' erinati language, ai St. John's Church. One Stindav, during the Pas tui.-diip <>f 1'ir-ou Waller. John Loliner lui.l the i.l luck to raise a Ionuietra tune to a common metre livinii. lie did not discover h.s mistake, until he 11:i< 1 got | hail way through the stanza, when lie stamped his foot upon the ll >or, and exclaimed loiut enough tor all to hear, Stliop, |toys, py C >;t I'm wrong ? Vou think there was an outburst of I utghter ??not r.t all. There was not so much as a smile ? no more than if John Lohner h ot clear ed^his throat ; and when the proper tune was applied, the whole congregation felt the solemnity of the music and j lined in with decorum. It was a slow, simple melody, radically ti.e same with what is heard iu (ierinany, tolerating not more than four notes to a bar, with hero and i there a sedate, old doited seinihrove extending its dominion liaif way into the succeeding adj icent measure. I hope, I w ill he pardoned (or indillgi ig iu these "auld lang syncs," and for even adding a few more, since it would he a generous politeness in t!i? i. . 1 ?>r <m I 11 .? .?iol.,.? to leave I'avid an 1 llckky to themselves for a liltlu wh'le. I am tol l tliai a onn.rrf>f?atinti now nt r* 9 St. Jolin a is quite different from what it was. when I w as a young man. To give j a glimpse : formerly, as soon as the par- | son had got well under way, the \onng ] fellows would turn their right ears to- ' wauls him, and the. girls their left ; an evolution which brought them face to laee. It was amusing to see how iho stiff pntitanient scats, in Spanish brown, tried to twist the young folks to their proper po sitiuns, ami how obstinately the latter would persist in filing their glances into each other's I ices, at point blank range. . Fa us were never used to m i^k a battery of eyes; they had no reflectors attached to them l?y which a voting hulv could sit i...- i ! I- .. /. "... ? ' ...... uvi vn\i\ w ? puling 111.Iii ril'l Williri i iiis demeanor. Fans were used to ?>*- ' tVe-li with co ;l air ; and when the girls j fanned themselves in 1S3<>. it was like the flight of a mighty tlo.k of lords.? | Walk around among tire trees. You see , that horse shoe neatlv htiricd in the wood of that hickory tiee ? In five years more, the concentric formations of new wood I will have hidden it cutiiely. In fifty years it will perhaps excite the astonishment of some hewer of t.inher That hor.e-shoe was nailed upoti that tree for the purpose of hitching a horse. There were a hua- . dred, hut they have all disappeared :? | people <lo not ride horseback to St. John's church any more, for every farmer lias ma carriage now wilil a u<p U> II. L.01 mo conjme up a little contrast. I have often lolled at the foot of a tree, and Matched an old lime family going to church. First the marriageable daughter and her trusted swain pass by. A half an hour afterwards tiio father of the family comes along. Kefoiu him rides his pet hoy, and behind him arc the two elder. The hindermost one prevents himself from sliding olf by sticking bis hands into bis brothers pockets, and draws his knees well up, to avoid the lashings of old Hrady's tail. At a distance, varying I from a hundred yards to a quarter of a j mile further hack, is seen the mother,? j behind her is seated her daiightef, twelve years old, and, upon hor knee, riots the baby,?THE C.liKAT IMG 1JA11Y? i practicing tho exercises of the quarter stall with the drumstick of a fowl. Hut the marriageable daughter and her swain i?ro married?long married. I have Men them thuli along tho same road in a car- j nage, and?one and a half. Thoy have a daughter grown?aha u beautiful; hut the young fellow, who camera a Ion ? by iho aide of tho carriage, can only, now and then, catch a view of his beloved, with her features distorted into aluolute hideousneaa by (he glass in the coach 1 window. Yes, tho days of equestrian courtship are over. The youngsters of i hutch Fork have to go through the for maniy o! a carpt-ioo drawing room, and, as they (ormer)y hung their hats upon a spinning wheel, they now must place them upon a side table, covered with giltedged books, and sometimes,** I live, up on a piano. I would say not a word, if the girls would only [day their pianos, as well as they played their spinning wheels, when I was a voting man. Well?it is Easter Sunday in the year | 1330. Yonder tlwotigh tho trees 1 see David Ilartman and Uckky Towns coming to church. The congregation w as a large one that day. 1 >ozvps of kind hearted old ladies, perfumed with sprigs of thyme, were disliibiitiug eggs among the children to pre vent their crying in church, old men were giving opinions about the weather, ami prospects of the crops, and the boys ana girls were going to and from the spring, as if they had just been delivered from the black hole of Calcutta, and were dying of thirst ; Martin Sawyer was dressed out in his tidiest, and had hitched a vixenish little animal, named Wnrp'm llara, near the spot where, he knew Jtekky would dismount, lie was waiting there l">r her, hut when he saw site was i.. i t ii i ..vv./..|'M.nv<j u? I'.uiu &i<ti iimiil, no walked moodily to the church. Alike iiour when the congregation were di-porllie two rivals, much to the ;!i> m av <>l" liekkv, manifested considerable lmslililv UiWHids each other. David assisted her into her saddle but while he was a why for Ids horse, Martin urged V. at pin liars to llio right side of L'ekkv, and coimiienoe 1 a rattling conversation with her. Nothing however of a serious nature occurred until they arrived at Mr. I'own's; there, as liekkv was hastening into I ho house to take oil her Lniiuet, Mai tin, in hisliuiry to follow her, unluckily stepped upon David's foot. 'What did you tramp on my foot for, you oninannerlpsoapeg tl'.us 1' thundered David. ,Why don't you stand out of my wav. .1.,... :? ' i" ...... . _ HH-ii, ii ???? Him i ?;inL iw oe run over ! Itmt over !?if-you think you van run over me, I want you to try thejmjjck as ! soon as von like.' 'Look Here, Dave, are you in earnest ?' ' 'Yes, dog my oi l buttons if I ain't.' 41 l?ey li.itli jerked otF their coats nrul slammed them upon liie ground. M irtin slionk liis list in David's face, and cried out with great vehemence. 'I'm j-st as good a man ns you or nnv of your breed?my daddy is ii~ good a man as your daddy, and my mummy is as good a man as over trod ffhue leather!' 'Jest cleer mo of the law! contrive vour guilty conscience!' exclaimed Datil through bis locked teeth. 'Law and gospel cleered !' screamed ; M irtin, as he sprang into the nir and ' struck l?i* lu?i.!< I? ?ir?*f!??-?* fore li<? touched the earth. 'What aro you about there !' exclaim* | ed the old man, atliaclel to the <loor by tito noise ; 'what ! goin' to tight in my yard i' 'Oh daddy ! daddy !' shrieked Hekky, rushing out with her hair hanging over her shoulders ; 'don't Jet 'em light?oh good gracious they arc going to light about me !' 'Are they, though V continued Mr. ; Towns; 'then they shall light?it's jest! what I would have done myself w hen I was of their age.' Saying which lie rail- j ed two negro fellows, who were watching from the kitchen door with groat satisfaction the proceedings of the young men, and appointed one na:ii--d Sain for 1 >a vid's second, and the Other named I tick, for Martin's second ; threatening at the same time to break his stick over their heads if they did not see that the tight , was conducted fairly. 'Look here, Massa lhive,' remarked Sain, going up to his principal, '1 got a liiece oh ml view to nil. vmi \ on in.?L-?? pretence as if you was join' to Int M ?ssa Sawyer 'pon d? lievl wi?l your l?f fi<, ami when lie raise lie arm up to knock off your lick, hit liiui in tie short libs ?i.| your right tis ; ami tlen make pretence ns if you was (join' to liil inn 'gin wit] your right lit in do libs, and when oe , irow lie arms down to fend himself you hit 'iim poll the head wid your lef (is.? | llah ! ain't 1 right ? I knows it from Vperienoo V Mrt<sa Martin,' said 1 >ick 'I hah only ' fow words to say, Neither you mind en- : ny ting Massa I.htve can do to you, hut trow your lied forruds and hut 'um in de pit ob !o ftuiumiik You sea dat will nock all Jo brol but, and I e, 'bliged to holler.' The young men were eager for the ootnbat, but the angel of peace wa* there, and the tierce impetuosity of Martin and j calm determination of 1 >aviJ, j ielding to j the weak interference of a girl; for lh-k* j ky with one fair hand against II art man's bmaM. and the other against Sawyer's, kept them apart as easily as if they had been her pet mocking birds. 'Oh ! Dave, did I expect this of you V ( she said. 'Is this the way yon keep your promises ? And Martin, is this the respect you have for my father's house ? Have you ever been healed unkindly bv me, or my father, or my mother, or an v other betii' here J No ! no ! no ! not even by a dog. Oh ! boys, do don't figlil about me ; do don't. Iful if I can't persuade you, wait until I go into the bouse and return, I have a plan Dave?a plan ivauum inih without hurt or harm. The Easter eggs !??lh?? Easier egg*, Dave ! Throwing her dishevelled hair back from her face, palo with alarm, and wet with tears of sorrow, sho ran into the house, and in a moment afterwards re turned with the two egg* the nvals had given her. "Here is the egg von gave me, Dave," she Mid, "and Martin here is the one you gave me. Now since you both will make me a prize to light about?here fight with the eggs. l'?ck them together and if"And if my egg breaks Dave's you'll marry me I'" enquired Martin. "Why liekky," remonstrated David, "I won't stand a half a chance. Lie's got ? guinea egg, and mine is a chicken's ogg." ' Never mind Dave it's h plan?its a j plan, ' said Deck v. "Come on," cried Martin, exullingly. Tim negro Sam was here seen to notice j David's egg closely ; and then tlirow up Lis hands exclaiming,? (< "D? vsinnin is goin' to he dc ruinnticn l oh de worl." llo ! ho ho ! 1 knows dat i I egg"You, Sam, won't you hush cried Hek- ] kv. The combatants struck the eggs to gctlier. Crack !! ? mv. .i.? :..i ? ..li o i 1?? 11IU ini'Mll^llllK'lll Wl illl, fAVKPI Oillll and Bekky, the guinea egg (and Martin of course) was abolished. "Iluora! mine ain't broke!" shouted | , lhivid. * "No, I reckon it ain't broke !" scream- ! j ed Sain, in an agomy of restrained inirili. "I fix'd dat egg last night." After j mass,a Have went to bed, Miss Bekky ( came into dc kitchen an broke a little i hole iii do big eend of dat dcre egg, and she took out all dee white and de yaller i\id a spoon handle, an'she made ine bi'e , some pitch, haw ! haw ! haw ! and pore ; it into the holler egg, and when it got ' cold you see it was hard as a rock, ho ! | ha! ho! you couldn't brake dat egg j | 'gainst my (orred. Dis is de fust time 1 ehber liearn of a hen egg whippin a guin- I ea egg." "What Sain rays is true," added Bekky, ' But I did'nt think it would turnout n? u nits. i wanieu to lei ei.irun Know ^ through h joke that I had given my heart ami liand t<> Dave. 1 was goin' to make | you j.pck eggs in tlio house, for I knew ! how fond Martin was of a joke, and J thought it would he tlie host way to let ' i him know my mind without Inirtin' his < ( leelin's. Von don't think hard ofine now do toil Martin 1" j ( ' No 1 ickky,no. Dave here is mv hand,I , was wiong from tost, and I know'd it long I ago ; hut you know when a fellow knows ( lie's wrong, lie must either acknowledge ! ( it or keen on doin' w rong." 1 'There now," interposed Mr. Towns, "that's well said and well done Martin, j *-nine into me uouse now you young villain*, ntul tell mo whore the preacher took hi* text. Ts thero 110 need to write more t? i Those who would force a tale scribbler as far a* lie dare go, can satisfy themselves bv referring to the (lie of the Timra and (r'tizi ffe, for 18.*t0 ; where, in a May nuin her, the following hynienial notice can be seen : ' i M.vtirrr.n. on the instant, bv the | liev. Josiah Fromryhertz, David II ai t man i t?> licheoca, onlv daughter of Jacob Towns ! all of Dutch Fork. ! i |i 31!isrfllniinms. I1 A?r,w wax XU Wtltlli A 1 ill KJ?". The father <<f Mr. Webster, tho. great American Statesman, was a very liumu J I rous and jocose personage. As lie was once journeying in M issa j I chusetts not. far from his native town, he < stopped late one night at an inn in the | village of . In the liar room were ahout twenty persons, who called on liiiu to discover a thief. Oue of tho company, it appeared, had a watch taken 1 from his pocket a few minutes before, and he knew the offender must be in the room with them. ' Fasten all tho doers of tho room?let i no ono leave it," sai l Mr, Webster ; "'and i here, landlord, go and bring your w ife's | great brass kettle." Boniface did as commanded. The | great brass kcttlu was placed in the middle of the floor, bottom up?ns black and ( sootv and smokey as tho chimney back. | , "Vou don't want hot water nor noth- j , ill!? to take oft the bristles of no critter do you, squire?" said the landlord?the'] peparationa looking too much like hog- I | killing. ' (Jo to your harn and bring me the big [, eat rooster you've got." lioiiiface went to the barn, and soon re- j ( turned with a tremendous great r>*>ster, |, cackling all the way like mad. The old rooster was thrown under the ' inverted kettle, and the lamp was blown i ( out. "Now, gentlemen, I don't suppo?o the j ihioC is l.erc, but if he is tho rooster will ! crow when the otfonder touches the hot- | j torn of the kettle with his hands. Walk around in a circle, and the cook will ; i it ft L" o Irr.rttvn I Ka iwuinl* d? auI/.i- 'I'I.a ..... ?V ! VIIU oniwia PicniCh l lie III* | nocei.t 11 cod not l>o afraid, you know." 'i ho com pany, then, to humor him and carry out tins joke, walked round the kettle in tho daik for * few minutes. "All done, (lentleinen ?" "All done," was tho cry?"wlure'a i your crowing?we heard no cockadoodie doo !" "Hring ua a light." A light was brought as ordered. "Now hold uj> your hands, good folks." One held up his hands after another? they were of course black, front coming in contact with the soot of the kettle. "All up!" "All up," was tho response. "AM black r 1 "A--11?dont know ; here's one fellow who hasn't held up his hand?." "Ah, ha, my old boy ! let's take a peep i at your paws I" They were examined, and were not ' black like those of the rest of the compa- , ny. "You'll find your watch concealed about him?search him !" And so it proved. Thit fellow, not be- i ing aware any more than tho rest, of the trap that wjfs bel for the discovery of the thief, Lad kepi, aloof from the kettle, lest when lie touched it the crowing of tho J rooster should proclaim him a thief. As tho hands of all tho others were blackened, the whiteness of his own, of j course, showed that ho dared not touch tho old brass keltic, and that ho was the ' thief. Ho was lodged in proper custody pro- j paratory to being sent to jail. THE UMBRELLOMETER-BY i PUNCH. We think the umbrella can be tu&en as a very good te9t of a persons character. ! Ill? man who always takes an umbrel- | ia out with him is a cautious fellow, who ' abstains from all speculation, and is pretty 1 Hire to die rich. The man who is always leaving his umbrella behind is one gene- i rally who makes no provision for the morrow. lie is reckless, thoughtless, always late for the train, leaves the street door ; ?pen when ho goes home late at night, , Hid ahsjiit to such a degree as to speak ill j af a baby in presence of Its mama. The man who is always losing his umbrella is an uoluckv dog, whose bills are always j protested, whose hoots split whose gloves i crack, whose buttons are always coming eft', whose "change" is 6ure to have some bad money in it. lie cautious how you lend a thousand pounds to such a man ! The man who is perpetually expressing a nervous anxiety about his unberrclla, and wondering if it is safe, is full of meanness slid low suspicions, #ith whom it is best nut lo play at cards nor drink a bottle of wine. He is sure to suspect you are 1 cheating liiin, or that you are drinking more than your share. Let him l>e ever | >o rich, give not your daughter to him ; lie will undoubtedly take more care of his ; imbrella than of his wife. The man I with a cotton umberrella is either a phib ! jsopher or an economist. He defies the i world and all its fashionable prejudices, f >r else ho does it because it is cheaper i Lo lose than a silk one. The man w ho goes Lo the horticultural fete without an utn- J brella is-simply a fool, who richly deserves tlie ducking he gets. AN IMPORTANT MOTIVE POWER, j We learn through the Cher a w Ga-1 zctto. that Prof Salomon who has been1 engaged for more than ten \ ears, endeavoring lo construct a sulph oil carbonic acid engine, to supersede, steam, has at last succeeded Elisengine has a piston of iu,.!vo ..1 =1-0.-. 1- I vv .i.v.ivn ctiwivi; null n CliUliv bl* inches. It does the serf ice of ten horse ' power, under the break of a wheel 3 feet in diameter, 3 feet in clrcumferauce, pies- j ed between two iron bars, and a friction | block on each bar o! 7 1 '2 inches in length and 2 1 2 inches in width, on an iron rim j 2 12 inches, under a weight of 112 pounds, making 80 evolutions per tuiuutc. The fluid, or gas, constituting the mo- : Live power, is used over and over again, ! with scarcely any diminution or waste.? I'lie cost of this fluid is 10 cents a gal- i Ion and it is estimated that 18 gallons by careful attention, will run an engine of ! the above capacity for one year.? Citroli- ! ua Tinvs. PltKSlDKST Buciiasan's WlFE at! Blackvvkli.'s Island.?I saw yesterday a lady iit Now York, who claims to l>o tho wifo of our bachelor President, Mr. Buchanan. She is quite open and per- 1 sistenl in her claims. She lias in a bed what she says are two childien which she claims are the President's children, and nothing but the constant care of her friends prevents Iter from going to ! Washington and demanding to be placed in the White House as the lawful occu ' ui me uomwuc department ot mat celebrated establishment. The lad}* ?s in the Insane Asylum at blackwcll4s Island, ' and her children are two white cats, whom die has trained to such docility that she keeps thein in bod nearly all day sleeping between sheets or nice clean pillow cases all tucked in like children, with caps on iheir heads. All the visitors call on Mrs. : Buchanan, see her cats, and they allow 1 the clothes to be tinned dow n, and a view taken without an effort to rise from their couch. The namo of one of the cats, Is John C.Kroinont and the other is Alexander Hamiliton.? Cor. Boston Journal. | A Gkntlkman.?Did you ever see a gentleman ? We have seen two or three j in our day, but real gentlemen are exceed- i ingly rare. A gentleman is one who treats ovorybody with respect, whether ho be black or white, low or high, poor or rich. He does not bow to wealth, scrape his knees to honor, nor hold hi* tongue when he see* wickedness in high places. | lie desires to make every one happy around him, and never gives just cause of offence to any one* You always reccivo from him a civil answer to your inquiry, and lie kindly imparts to you any infer- ! mation in his power, lie will not say a word to injure your feelings or allude to : a subject to pain your heart. Whatever may be done, he will not manifest angry feelings, or use unbecoming language.? lie uses no profane or indecent words, smokes no cigars in your presence, nor spits tobacco juice on your Hoors. lie is the same kind and accommodating indi- ! vidual from one weeks end to another. Miskrarlk.?The man who is out of moneV and in debt. The only median* for such a person is a dollar's worth of philosophy, or a shilling's worth ofstrych- 1 nioe. The former may be had of those woodeawyers who support six children and a pair of bull pups, on seventy five eent* a day. Dtorietq. A farmer, when flagellating two of Lis unruly boys, was asked what he was doing, 'thrashing wild oats,' was his reply. "It is a solemn thing to get married." said Aunt IJetty. "Yes but a good deal solemuor not to be," replied her daughter who was just turning forty. A Yankee editor says he liked to die a larfin, to see a drinkin, chap tryiu' to pockfit tlta cV\0/1aIB a.T n ? - ~ ?I?? f -V ... ^ aunuu u Ul ? OTYIUJJIIIg 'OT R pocket handkerchief. A gentleman advertising for a \vife,pavs: ?'*It would be well if the lady were pos sessed of a competence suflicient to secure licr against excessive grief, in case of ao cident occurring to ber companion." In tbe bull-fighting days,"a blacksmith who was rearing a bull pup, induced his old father to go on all fours and imitate the bull. The canine pupil pinned the old man by the nose. The son, disregarding the paternal roaring, exclaimed, "Hold him, (irowler boy lipid him ! bear it, fejther, bear it! iCil be the muking oj the An old lady walked iuto an oflice of a Judge of l'robate, in Massachusetts once upon a time, and asked : "Arc you the Judge of Reprobates ?" "I am Judge of the I'robate." "Well, that's it, I expect," quoth the lad}*. "You see my father died detested, and he left several little infi dels, and I want to be their executioner." A sick man, slightly convalescing, recently imagined hiir.self to be engaged in conversation with a pious friend, congrat ulaling him upon his recovery, and asking him who his physicians were, he replied : "Dr. brought me through." "No, uo," said his friead' "God brought you out of jour illness, not the doctor."? "Well," replied he, "maybe lie did; but I am certain that the doctor will charge mo for it." Eating Orange L'eel.?We learn that a little son of Robert Oliver, of this city, about five years of age, is now lying in a very critical condition from the effects of eatuig Orange peel on Monday last. Pa - ? VV *VX/ VUUVIVUQ III IVCV J'tHJJ oiange peel from their children, aw itcoutabis an active poisonous oil, which in many casas has caused the deaths of persons who indiscreetly made use of thein. Life is jeopardised every time the rind is taken into the stomach.?JVr. Y. Journal of Commerce. A good looking felow was arraigned before the l'olice Court, charged with having stolen a wat:h. The judge asked him what induced him to commit tho theft. The young man replied that, having been unwell for some time, the doctor advised him to take something, which bo had accordingly done. The Judge asked what had led him to select a watch. "Why," said the prisoner, 'I thought if I only had the time, that naturo would work a cure!" An ignorant fellow, who was about to get married, resolved to make himself perfect in the responses of the marriage ceremony ; but by mistake he committed to memory the oihcc of baptism for those of riper years ; so when the clergyman asked him in church,?"Wilt thou have this ^ La . I . 1 1 1 ? ? *? rni nwiuuu iu uo my wuuueu Wile." Iua bridegroom answered solomuly : "I re. nounce ibem all." Tbe astonished minister suid, "I think you a fool!" To which ha jreplie 1,?"AllI this I steadfastly believe." Some nine years since, a letter wai received in New Orleans, directed to "the biggest fool in New Oileans." The postmaster was absent, and on his return one of the younger clerks in the oflico informed him of tho receipt of the letter. "And what became of it ?" inquired the postmaster. "Why," replied the clerk, "I did not know who tbe biggest fool in New Orleans was, and so i opened the letter rov sell." "And what did you find in it?" inquired the postmaster. "Why," replied the cleik, "nothing but tho words " thou art the man.'" "Dr. Kalahum, do you think my dartor will get wellf" "Well, if slto don't no wiim, ar d does git noma better, she may probab y git over it. You tee tbe'e afflicttod with a concatenation of tbe diagnosis of the metacarpal flummix, which extends from the nebosis to the inferior iobe of tho anterior revolution of the occaput. Nothin' kin help her but calomel and peraiinona taken jintly both together?a spoonful more or less according to the symptoms every olhday, off and on. Them will eventually put her out of pain into a sweat, and restore a healthy action to tho minor pedals and reduce the enveloped in of the neuralgia diaphragm, immedmtelj underlet left aide of the right eve." "Lor' a mercy ! ?ucb a larnin ! who'4 a tbnok it J" >' 3 .. i 1#