University of South Carolina Libraries
A POLICEMAN'S EXPERIENCE. Suffered for Years From Chronic K'd ney Trouble. Walter J. Stanton, 1139 Pear' St. Camden, N. J., says: "Kidney trouble bothered me for Cf teen years. If I stooped, sharp twin ges shot through my back and it was hard for me to arise. I was treated by several doc tors, one a specialist, but did not receive r?lief. Finally I be gan using Doan's Kidney Pills, and soon noticed an im provement. I con tinued until the trou ble disappeared." Remember the name - Doan's. For sale by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. Y. SHOULD HAVE BEEN BUSY. Old Lady-What are you crying about, my little man? Kid-Nothin*. Old Lady-Nothin! Kid-Yes. Me teacher ast me what I was dom' an' I tcW her nothin', and she said I ought a been doin' sumthin' -an' give me a lickin'. SCRATCHED SO SHE COULD NOT SLEEP T write to tell you how thankful I am for the wonderful Cuticura Rem edies. My little niece had eczema for five years and when her mother died I took cir? of the child. It was all over her face and body,, also on her bead. She ccratched so that she could cot sleep nights. I used Cuticura Soap to wash her with and then ap plied Cuticura Ointment I did not. use quite half the Cuticura Soap and Ointment, together with Cuticura Re solvent, when you could see a change ; and they cured her nicely. Now she is eleven years old and has never been bothered with . eczema since. My friends think it is just great the way the baby was cured hy Cuticura. I send you a picture taken when she was about 18 montes old. "She was taken with the eczema when two years old. She was covered with big sores and her mother had all the best doctors and tried all kinds of salves and medicines without effect until we used Cuticura Remedies. Mrs. H. Kiernan, 6C3 Quincy St, Brooklyn, N. Y., Sept 27. 1909." The Retunj of Ferguson. A night clerk in a hotel sat dozing at h\s desk at about 1 a. m., when a man in evening clothes came in as if laboriously trying to walk a crack, and said: Tm Ferguson; key to room 44." The guest disappeared in the direc tion of Ms room, one flight up. In a lew minutes a man in his shirt sleeves .with a flattened silk hat on the side of "bis bead, and with one shoe on a foot .-and the other in his hand, came in and ..said to the clerk: Tm Fershon ; key to f or-for." > "^Mr. Ferguson just took his key and went np." "Mr. Ferguson Just fell out window V left, key inside. Kindly lemme have 'Eother."-Everybody's. ? Mathematical Request. "Little Mary; seven years old, wa3 saying her prayers. "And, God," she petitior ec at the close, "make seven times six forty-eight" / "Whj\ Mary, why did you say that?" asked lier mother. "'Cause that the way I wrote It in lamination in school today, and I want it to be right."-Lippincott's. A Simple Matter. "Charley, dear," sid Young Mrs. Torkins, "tho paper says that the Pro hibitionists have troub'.e with boot leggers." "I believe so." "Men are so stupid! Why don't they put a stop to it by compelling everybody to wear low shoes?" The Ready Theorist. "You see," explained the scientist '"house files are dangerous because they carry gems on their feet" "Ab!" exclaimed the ready theorist; "then the remedy is simple. All you need bo do is to make them wear overshoes and leave them on the porch when they come in." The Real Thing. "You say your husband was cut by his neighbors at the party?" "Yassah, dat's so, sah." "Did they cut him with malice pre pense?" "No, sah; wiv a razah. sah." For ? OI,E? and GIMP Hicks' CABCOINB is the best remdy-rp (JeveSXhti aching and feverlsiiness-euros the Oold and restores normal conditions. H's liquid-elfects immediately, lue, !i5c. and 50c A. t, drus stores. If black could not be made to look like white, toasted cheese would not have so much drawing power toward the mouse trap. j Try Murine Eye Remedy '. For Re'l. Wenk. Weary. Watery Eyes and ? Granulated Ev*Iida, lt. Soothes Eye Pain. . Mutine Eye Remedy Liouid. 25o. and 50c. Murine Eye Salve/?3c.*: A $1.00. Hedging. Prospectivo Bridegroom-Isn't there ! any minimum sentence? THE TALKATIVE GIRL. The popularity of the talkative girl [is a most curious sign of the times, 1 for she is quite a modern product and would have horrified our mid-Victor ian forebears, who did not think it at all "nice" for young ladies to talk much.-The World and His Wife. MRS. SAGE GIVES $500,000. The Rev. W. I. Havan, ene of the secretaries of the American Eible So ciety, is authority for the statemen' that $500,000 has been raised and is virtually as good as paid to the asso ciation. This will meet the demands made by Mrs. Russell Sage, who agreed to endow the society's work with a So00.000 contribution provid ed the Methodists and other denom inations interested in distributing the Bible throughout the world would raise 5500.000. Haven says Mrs. Sage has sent her check for $50(), 000 to the secretary. / LEGACY OF PILLOWS. "See what a haul I've made," and the bachelor maid surveyed L'er divan with an exulting eye. "Eight new pillows-and real downy down, too! Where in the world did you get them?" asked the girl friend enviously. "Real down is so horribly expensive." "Well, you ki ow my brother is to married t1 - week. He is giving up his den, of course, and these pillows are the gifts of different girls whom he admired or flirted with, or was engaged to during his bachelor career. His intended is rather of a jealous 11 disposition, and Bob says frankly he'd Grapefruit and Green peppers and remove all tl with cold water, adding s one hour. Peel the graj white pith and cut up the peppers, add them to the 5 ? ?j} nalse or French dressing leaves. o . o o ? o ? e are. o ? ? i. rs * O have to explain away every one of those pillows if he took them to the new home. 'It's easier to cut loose from the lot than to say where I got them and answer questions,' he told me last night in confidence, 'so the whole bunch is yours, sis, with my blessing.' "-New York Press. MAKING RAIN-SHEDDERS COSTLY "It's the umbrella," said a woman, "that uninspiring object of black silk" ("if it is silk," she interposed sadly) "that is giving the jewelers p.v. excuse for slashing deeply into your pocketbook, dear, and mine." She was right partly-and, after ail, to me partly right is a pretty good state for an argumentative woman. There are many innovations in um brella handles in the shops. One han dle shown yesterday contained a jew eled pencil, a purse, a handkerchief and a powder puff. "Why," said the woman, "these things are likely to put the old 'variety bag* out of busi ness." One shop in town has passed along to a maker an*order :or an um brella of mulberry colored silk with a novel top. Ai. first glance the top looks like a conventional knob of mother-of-pearl and gold, but on touching a tiny amethyst on one side a secret spring lets the knob fly "jack and there i3 disclosed a miniature o}f jc the owner's baby, surrounded by am- J ethysts and pearls.-New York Press. * _ I CORRECT LENGTHS OF SKIRTS., * The lengths of walking skirts do jE not vary. They are all sufficiently j short to escape the ground, which j i may mean from one inch to ankle ?? length, according to the build and age !s of the wearer. A young woman may, 11 if she pleases, cut her skirt shorter than a woman of more mature age, and a stout woman should always wear them longer than one who is slender. The later type may wear skirts long, too, if she wishes, but the stout or short matron cannot af ford to cut her skirt short If she wishes to look her best. Thus the question of the length of skirts for general wear is easily dis- j ? posed of, but for the more important j gowns for afternoon, houue and even- j j ing the matter of deciding is more j difficult owing to tho narrow width i <. of the skirts. All the skirts for formal and even ing wear are cut long, yet so narrow that little train is visible. In order to give evidence of a traiE. the dresses are cut long in iront and at t_e sides, and only a trifle longer Sn the back. Even then, as the wearer walks, the material winds itself about the feet until the gown actually seems to be the same length all the way around. Incidentally, to walk gracefully in one of the new skirts i3 a difficult feat. Managed correctly, a skirt of j ? this style is an aid to height, because t the front is long from the belt down- I ward. Thus the new style of cutting I the skirt long all the way around is {, in one way an improvement over the | trained skirt formerly worn, in that j j it is more generally becoming, now ? that the fashionable figure is sup- ? < posed to be tall, and the majority of j " women are only of medium height or I < short. To prove this becomingness let any womu . put on the ' old style 1. trained skirt, the length just touching 1 the ground in front and the back 1 spreading upon the floor, and view! herself in a long mirror. Then let her take the train and : bring it to the front in a winding ef- 1 feet and Lhe will see how much the ? cbange adds to her height. This, then, is the general effect of the new ' trained skirt intended for evening, c' dinner and formal day use. Handsome cloth suits in light - ?eights are made with short trains, 1 and so are ...e shantung:: and rajahs 1 when a tailored effect is not desired. 1 There is no lining, interlining or fae- x ing on the bottoni of such slrirts. No ? cher finish but a deep hem is correct. Consequently there is no chance for the train to spread. It simply must c fall in, for there is nothing to kc jp i it out, not even a ruffle. i Any trimming on the slKrt comeB it least a foot above the lower edge, ?ither applied directly on the skirt or is a finish to a tunic or overskirt ?ffect. A favored fashion is to tic the skirt ?own by wide crushed ribbon (the shade of the gown), passed through slits cut at flounce depth, the ribbons tied in large bows, the ends falling over the train, and when the material is thin, as marquisette and similar fabrics, I have seen good effects from7 setting in a group of wide tucks above the deep hem. The fine cloths, however, and the silks are without trimming. Skirts of house gowns are cut in what is known as the' round length -that is, they are made to lie clown an the iloor about an inch or so on the front and sides, but are longer in the back. This is a graceful length and will prove generally becoming. As many of thc new house gowns are made with deep hems and under skirt effects in a solid color, it is well to have the skirts as long in the front as comfort will allow in order to pre serve the height of the wearer, for nothing cuts the length of the figure more than horizontal lines between the belt and hem. The fashion of holding down the train in the back with a long motif just above the feet is awkward, but it is novel, and so, I suppose, women will want to try it. Only slender types should attempt it, for, given a :ertain twist, the woman of average ?mild will surely appear top heavy. The more conventional lines will be a lappier choice.-Elizabeth Lee, in tho Kew York Telegram. Pepper Salad.-Wash the green ie seeds. Cut in strips and cover ?alt. Allow this to stand at least )efruit, remove the seeds and all fruit in small squares. Drain the grapefruit, pour over all a mayon and arrange on a bed of lettuce This season one finds entire coats md wraps cf cretonne. The elastic belts in different widths are more popular than ever. Coarse Russian braid is used a rreat deal for trimming coats and japes. The chantecler is found embroid ;red on the instep of the latest silk losiery. The tiniest of roses aro used for :rimming caps of muslin or lace for :he baby. A box pleated quilling of net ls the 5nish at the wrist of a pretty sleeve seen recently, Ribs of brass as well as of gilt and vhite enamel are seen in some of the ?unshades. Separate blouses of black net with ace insertion are worn over an under ilouse of white. Very attractive, indeed, are the .oats of woolen poplin. While white is ;he favorite color, the material may :e obtained in a wide range; of col >rs. The Scotch plaid ginghams were lever more attractive than this year. TOT children's frocks and for gowns or the girl in her teens they are un ?urpassed. Hosiery matches one's bathing suit \ n color. Either the white or black dippers or shoes are worn. If the iuit is trimmed with black, that is he color of footwear selected Many of the (new coats have the ronts cut without a break at the vaist line; the back, however, ,is lulled a trifle at the waist line and railed into a satin or leather belt. A band of insertion or embroidery >r a stitched band of the material of he dress is a neat finish to the square :ollarless neck of a wash dress, vhether of gingham, chambray or inen. Among other trifles of dress that lave gained in importance since the >pening of the season is the sash. Special ribbons in weaves as soft as :hiffon have been brought out for .hese sashes. Some of the most stunning claspB 'or evening coats are made of large :ameos. Cameos are used, too, for jiving smart touches to evening iowns, serving to hold the drapery >f cither waist or skirt. Chinese. Japanese and Roumanian ?mbroidery appears on many of the inen and silk costumes in the patches )f color that bring into distinctive ?vidence the influence of the East aud he importance of hand embroidery. An Epigram On Experience. The late Senator Platt had a whim deal way of wrapping his views of ife in neat epigrams. A New York jurist once said to Senator Platt: "My sou wishes tb marry a chorus rirl. Give him some good advice, von't you?" S ill d Senator Platt. "Advice s worthless. We learn only by ex perience." Here he smiled sadly. "And experience," he said, "is, ala?, L comb tor a bald head."-Lou.b ..i!le Time;:. Appropriate Styles, "That elocutionist believes in tressing thc part for any recitation. " "How do you mean?" "Why, when she read the story tbout the saiiors deserted on the onely island she wore a costume of napoon, ami at her lecture on Celtic vit her dress was trimmed with irish joint."-Baltimore American. Thc blue geese, which have been ?onsid?red as mythical birds by { uany, have been found in large?flocks n some remote regions of the South. KINDNESS TO ANIMALS. Little children, never give Pain to things that feel and live; Let the gentle robin come For the crumbs you save at home As his, meat you throw along He'll repay you with a song; Never hurt the timid hare Peeping from her green prass lair. Let her come and . sport ami play On the lawn at close of day; The little lark goes soaring high To the. bright windows of the sky. Singing as if 'twere always spring, x\nd fluttering on an untired WinJ et! let him sing his happy song. Nor do these gentle creature-;'wrong. MATCHES MADE IN HEAVEN. One day ^ small Madge heaYd her mother say there wasn't a match in the house. "Never mind, mamma," said the little miss'; "when I say my prayers to-night I'll ask God to send us a box. " "But why ask God for matches?" Queried the surprised parent. " 'Cause," answered Madge, "Aunt Jennie says matches are made in Heaven."-Chicago News. LOSING HIS SENSES. A mischievous boy, having got pos session of his grandfather's specta cles, privately took out the glasses. "When the old gentleman put them on, finding he could not see. he ex claimed: ."Mercy, on me, I've lost my sight! " but thinking the impedi ment .to vision might be the dirtiness of the glasses took them off to wipe them, when, not feeling them, he, still more frightened, cried out: "Why, what's tome now? I've lost my feel ing, too."-Ideas. ,HOW TO MAKE A BOX BED FOR THE PAPER DOLL. It ia quite easy to make a very nice bed for the paper dolls, and even for other dolls if you so desire, from a pasteboard box. The boi may be quite small for the paper dolls, but it | may be as large as you wish for the others. It shopld be about half a? , high as it is long and about three quarters as wide as it is long. The width does not make so much differ ence, since you may have a double or a single bed, but the height is Impor tant. It is all right to have the box more than half as high as it is long, because you may cut off as much as. you like, but if it is less than half aa high it will net be satisfactory and you would best wait to get another box. Remove the lid of the bo:: and cut a design after the pattern marked out by the dotted lines in the illustration. Before I catting out the design you should draw lines to. show exactly where the cut is to be made. To make the lines straight put the box over the end of 'a piece of board or put a book inside, so that you may draw the line steadily. Use a ruler and be sure your line Is straight. As you will see by the illustration, you cut out the lower edges of the box to make feet. A piece is cut out from all four sides of the box on the Title Completea r>ea. lower edges. This causes the bottom .' of the box to fall out etcept at the ! four corners, which form the feet. If j you leave the bottom in there it makes | the bed stronger. j As you see, the lov;er edges are not1 cut very Jar from the floor. If your box is eight inches long and four inches deep less than one inch is suffi cient to cut away the lower edge. The upper end of the bed is left high to make the headboard, lt has panels drawn or painted to make a design. The footboard is cut off ? about half an inch to make a differ ence between it and the headboard. I The sides are cut down about two inches, as shown in the design. This,1 in the size box referred to, leaves about an inch of cardboard along the sides. The springs to hold the mattress are made of a piece of cardboard not quite so wide as the bed and enough I longer to turn over at both ends and stand on the floor, not quite so high I as the des of thc bed. To turn the end run a knife lightly over the card- ! board, but do not cut half way ! through. The board will then bend easily. The springs or mattress sup-; porter is then placed inside the bed and stands on its ends, reaching al most to the top "of the sides. You may find difficulty in cutting the cardboard. If so, after you have drawn the lines for catting lake a large darning needle, or the point ol' ' a knife will do, and make holes on thc ; line all along. You will then be able j to cut out the desigD very easily, ut course after it is cutout some smooth ing of the edges will be necessary. You may wish to color the bed with crayon or water color, and this will make it more attractive, although a white or brown bo:: makes a better bed without being colored. A mattress to fit the bed may be made of a number of thicknesses of newspapers. There should be enough of the newspaper to make the mat? tress come up to the top of the sides of the bed. When the mattrsss hak been made cut the sheets from plain white paper. Fairly thick white pa^ per is best, but this is sometimes dif ficult to get In pure white, such as should he used for bed linen. Tissue paper will do if you cannot get the j thicker white paper large enough. If you use tissue paper first cover j the newspaper mattress with it, so ! that the black will not show through. The sheets are long enough to tuck I in at top and bottom and sides. I After the sheets have been made you may make the pillows. These may also be made of newspaper. The pair of pillows should be large enough to fit exactly in'at the head of the bed. Cover them with white paper, using mucilage to make the pillow cases. Then have shams of the paper also, with scalloped edges and em broidery. To make the embroidery, fold the sham in four sections. You make sev eral small triangles, squares or cir cles, and when you open the sham the design will be uniform. A counterpane for the bed may be made in the rime way. This should be just large enough to fit the top of the bed and the edges all scal loped. Fold the counterpane and cut a design as yo?: did for the sham. I Also cut a design in che centre of tho j counterpane. If made of heavy white I paper the spread will look like a I heavy linen one. Ii you make it of _ TO HOLO M/lTr/??S5j IOTTED ' U?JBS . ?5HOV/} HOW TO CUT BOX tissue paper you may put a pink or blue spread under it and then the de sign will suow beautifully. The same effect will be very pretty for the pil low shams. CHAMELEONS. Chameleons can be kept alive for years by making a frame to fit over a plant in a flowerpot and covering it with mosquito netting, which must be long enough to tie with a string about the pot. Keep the pot in the sunniest window and water the plant every day through the netting'. You will be surprised to see how eagerly the little creatures will drink the run ning water after they get over their fear. Set a wire flytrap for flies, which you can liberate ander the net ting. The chameleons, will not bo backward about helping themselves. In winter they do not require much food, but will relish a meal worm oc casionally on . sunny days. Meal worms can sometimes be got at the grain stores for the asking, or can be purchased at the bird stores, or small spiders can be found in cracks and crannies, asleep for the winter; they may be frozen stiff if found out of doors, but they revive in a warm room. Chameleons enjoy a place to sleep in nights and winters. Take a piece of red flannel four inches wide and eight inches long; roll it over a stick as large around as your finger, and sew it while on the stick so it will not come unwound; then slip off and run a wire through it long enough to sus jend it from one of the branches on the plant. The chameleons will crawl into this cosy bed and go to sleep. St. Nicholas. Cleanliness of Ants. No creature ls more tidy than an ant, who cannot tolerate the presence of dirt on her body. These little creatures actually use a number of j real toilet articles in keeping them- , selves clean. A well-knpwn authority ' says their toilet articles consist of coarse and fine toothed combs, hair brushes, sponges and even washes and soap. Their saliva is their liquid ' soap, and their soft tongues are their < sponges. Their combs, however, are ? the genuine article and differ from I ours mainly in that they are fastened to their legs. The ants have no set 1 time for their toilet operations, but stop and clean up whenever they get 1 coiled.-St. Nicholas. i More Weddings in France. J It is an interesting and noteworthy . fact that since the promulgation of the law cf June, 1007, the effect o? ( which is to simplify the formalities < which are the necessary 'preliminaries , to marriage in this country, there have bren moro weddings in France j than at any period since thc begin-1 . ning of the Irs; century with tho ex- , ceptiou of thc years ISIS and 1872, , in the former of which men con tracted unions io escape being sent ? off to light, while in the latter many : j weddings took place which had been . delayed by the war with Germany.-' London Daily News? CAPITAL FACTS. interesting News Gathered in the District of Columbia. rHE AMERICAN CONGRESS. Personal Incidents and Important Happenings of National Import Published for the Pleasure and In formation of Newspaper Readers. Wcrld Famous Scientists on Health. Health promoters, backed by the King of Saxony and the Imperial German government, have decided on an international hygenic exposition, to be held at Dresden next yean, from May until October. It is for the purpose of calling the attention of the American govern ment and the medical fraternity of this country to this event and ex tending an invitation to them, that Herr Emil A. Tingner, royal com missioner of the proposed exhibition, has come to "Washington. He h? had a number of conferances with the officials of the State, War, and Navy departments. "This exposition will be the great est event of the twentieth century." says Herr Lingner. "It will collect scientists from all parts of the civ ilized world." "Every State of the German em pire will have exhibits and each will have its own pavillioa. Twenty-five hundred of the most celebrated medi cal scientists of Germany have con sented to co-operate and contribute to the success of the enterprise. They will be in avtendance at the congress at which papers and treatises on various subjects will be read by inte? national authorities." The exposition will be held in the Royal (Bardens, which adjoin the royal palace, and cover 350,000 squaw meters. Hercules avenue has been designated for the foreign pavillions. Always Slow, But Sure. For services rendered nearly forty years ago, Brig. Gen. Harry R. Ander son, a retired artillery officer, is to receive from the Government $240. the accounting officers of the treas ury department finally having been convinced that he is entitled to that amount. This is because of the fact that Gen. Anderson served as a cadet at West Point from July, 1864, to Jan uary, 1805-six months and eighteen days. The controller of I-he treas ury has ruled that this service in the Academy was actual service, and that Gen. Anderson is entitled to pay. for the time b>? .meat at Weet Point-. $1,000 Notes Unpopular. Hovering close to the $700,000,000 mark, .the volume of national bani notes outstanding fluctuates from week to week, ?ltbongh seeured by United- States bonds and by lawful money. The aggregate now is $711, 964,360, which 'is $1,460,373 lees thea ot the beginning of the fiscal vear and $278,481 below the total of June 1, laBt, but $22,044,286 more than on July 1, 1909. Of the present aggregate only $22, 585 consists of gold notes. During the six days of the past week there were $7,077,030 of national bank notes issued and $5,959,377 destroyed. One thousand dollar bills are the least popular of those outstanding, for there are but 23,000 of these, while the $10 notes are welcomed in the outstanding list to the extent c? 311,260.990, or almost 100,000 mor? khan the twenties. Death Relieved Him of His Job. Alexander Drummond Willard, one of the oldest employes of the govern ment, died Thursday, at Farmington, Me., while there on a vacation. He was seventy-five years old, and for forty-five years was in the employ of the government. Would Destroy Fruit Pest. For the purpose of discovering ao enemy, which will prey on the white fly, a pest of tbt> fruit crops in Florida and other 'liulf States, R. S. Woglum, of th? department of agri culture, will make a trip to India, the place of origin of the white fly. The agricultural department for several years past has bee a fighting the Gypsy moth and the brown tailed moth in New England, by importing parasites, which feed upon them. Mr. Worgum will study the white fly jlso in Spain, where fruit growers bave trouble with it. In Spain he will also investigate the growing and handling of citrus f-uit. Bank Deposits Growing. A total of 7*145 national bants in ;he United States responded to the jail of the Comptroller of the Cur rency for reports on their condition nt the rlcse of business on June 30 last. This is an increase of 219 banks since June 23. 1909. The latest return*, announced by the Treasury Monday, show that individua] deposits have increased ?388.039.616 durhvj that period, loans ind discounts .-r.'??)4.275,070 Taking ftock of National Timber. The Forest Service is engaged in ..raising the national forests in the south and Southwest to determine the stand of saw timber. Thc examination is heine; conducled i: Arizona, New Mexico, Arkansas ind Florida, ana tlie work probably .vii) not bc completed before thc dose >f the year ?9.12, "When i! is finished the Government foresters will know how much tim KT eau be sai'?ly eui rrcm the tiaiion it forests in. these States and just vhcre the timber is that can be most idrantageously sold. RHEUMATISM .? money. Vi Munyon. RHEUMATISM CORE Freedom doesn't always bring hap-, piness, but you'll notice that it is the* tied dog that howls. Dr. Pierce's Pellets, small, sugar coated, easy to take as candy, regulate and invigorate stomach, liver and bow els and cure constipation. In the Night School. Teacher (of night school)-What do.( you understand by the terms "life sentence?" Give an example of one. ". Shaggy-Haired Pupil-I, pronounced you husband and wife.-Chicago Trib une. . -di-rying His Audience With Him.' Nobody was more witty or more bit ter than Lord Ellenborough. A young lawyer, trembling with fear, rose to make bis first speech, and began: "My lord, my unfortunate client- My lord my unfortunate client- My lord-" "Go on, sir. go on!" said Lord Ellenborough, "as far as you have pro ceeded hitherto the court is entirely with you." A Real Argument. They were talking about argument not in the abstract but as applying to domestic happiness. "What do you think is the most unanswerable ar gument you ever heard?", one bach elor asked a married man. "That's very easy," he replied?* "When your wife says, 'If they can afford it we can," there is no flaw In that-and never will be."-Youth's Companion. Be Knew the Kind. Little Edward, aged four, was aa only child. He was anxious for a baby sister, and was talking of it one day with a iriend of the family In the friend's family was a baby girl o? one year. The lady said, "Edward, you may have my baby; she is pretty and sweet." "Oh," said Edward, "I don't want an old baby. I want a bran new one wif noffln on but talcum powder."-Red Hen. Yes, Indeed. Hostess (at party)-Why, so silent*. Miss De Muir? You've scarcely said a word since you,came. ?* Youthful guest-Really, Mrs. Lead er, I am having a very enjoyable time, but my father has told me 100 times never to say anything unless I have something to say, and I suppose Hostess-But, my dear child, think what a stupid and tiresome thing so ciety would be if everybody followed that advice! Wife and Country. Paul D. Cravath, the noted New York lawyer said at a luncheon at the Lawyers* club: "Vacation time is here, and already that dreadful songr1 about the wife gbne to the country is being resurrected. But a variant to the song was furnished by a con versation I heard the other night " 'Hello, Smith,' said one man to another, Tm glad to see you back at the club again, old fellow. Wife off to the country, eh?' " 'No.* growled Smith. . 'She's got back.' " Clever Joke of Kind King. King Edward's good nature was il lustrated the other night by a London correspondent at the Press club in New York. ' "The king." said the correspondent, "was visiting Rufford Abbey, and one morning, in company with his host, Lord Arthur Savile, he took a walk over the preserves. "Suddenly Lord Arthur, a big burly man, rushed forward and seized a shabby fellow with a dead pheasant protruding from the breast of his coat. ** 'Sir,' said Lord Arthur to the king, 'this fellow is a bad egg. This is the second time I've caught him poaching.' "But the king's handsome face beamed, and he laughed his gay and tolerant laugh. " 'Oh, let him go,' he said. 'If he really were a bad egg, you know, he wouldn't poach.'" r Know How To Keep Cool? When Summer's suri and daily toil heat the blood to an uncomfort able degree, there is not. ing so comforting' and cooling as a glass of served with sugar antf a little lemon. . Surprising, too, how the food elements relieve fatigue and sustain one. The flavour is deli cious-and Postum is really a food drink. "There's a Reason" POSTUM CEREAL CO., Ltd.] Uattle Creek, Mich. J