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Knew lt Wsi> a Canal. Some of these youngsters who ?re studying physiology have as hurd a time as their parents figuring out thc terms used in that profoundly interest ing subject.. One.little girl, according to her mentor, was asked the other day to name the three openings into the throat For the benefit of the gen _ tie reader who may not have studied his physiology recently it may be stat ed that the openings are the e^glottis. the esophagus and the alimentary ca nal. The little girl bad tried awfully hard to remember those names because she had a hunch that the teacher would ask her to give them. She started bravely. "The epiglottis," she began and hesi tated. "Right you are," encouraged the teacher. "What then?' "The-um-ab-sarcophagus?" she In quired a little dubiously. "You mean esophagus, my dear." suggested the teacher. "And the third?" .The Erie canal!" announced the lit tle girl confidently and triumphantly. Louisville Courier-JournaL The Bucket Shop. "Bucket shops"-a name now used to denote small "outside" stockbrokers or financiers not in membership with the Stock Exchange-were so called because when they first started tn Chicago the only commodity dealt in by small speculators to any extent was wheat The legitimate dealers would not handle an order for less than 5.000 bushels, and then a let of places sprung up where men of lim ited capital could speculate with very small sums, and these men were spo ken of contemptuously as buying and selling wheat by the bucketful; hence shops. where a small business was conducted in grain on a margin came to be known as bucket shops. The term was finaHy extended to cover all ' brokerage offices where small lots of either grain or stock were bought and ?old, and it was applied particularly to those places where both seller and buyer did not more than "gamble" on the rise and fall of stocks. Bows on Men's Hats. Why is ?it that a man's bat has a baud, and why is it this baud bas a' bow invariably on the left side? The answer is that there was a time when a piece of cloth adjusted to the head and tied with a band of other material served for a headpiece. The reason the bow was always placed on the left side bad its origiu in the fact that in wielding a sword-an ac complishment possessed by nearly ev ery one of consequence at one period of the world's history-the bow or - rosette : if placed' on the right side woultj have been in the way. its pres ' cut day utility is that it keeps most men from wearing their bats hind side before, and. although with most bats that would not matter, with most j heads it does.-Chicago Kecord-H?ralcL On the Moon. The- question "Could a man live on the moon?" has been put to an emi nent astronomer, who replied: "1 am afraid not A man transplanted to the moon would find himself the lone in habitant of .a perfectly lifeless orb in which eternal silence reigns. He would have to manage without air. water or fire. He. would not need to put windows in his bouse, for there is no wind, no . rain, no dust upon the . moon. It has been truly a nd practical ly observed that the moon ls apparent ly abandoned to death, nourishing no inhabitants, producing nothing resem bling trees, dowers or beautiful things of any kind-useless, In saort except as a mass of extinct volcanic rubbish, which drags the sea into tides and re flects the sunbeams in moonlight" The Dean's Retort. One Sunday morning at Caunton church Dean Hole noticed a tipsy man in the congregation. He bore his pres ence until it was no longer possible and then came to a halt with tne question, "Are you fit to remain in God's house?" The man got up unsteadily and was helped, to the door. "James," said Hole after the service was over, "what did you do with him?" , The useful parishioner replied, T pnt bim on a tombstone, sir." The. Indignant vicar's retort was. "Couldn't you have pot him under W -London Mail. Names In Politics. "1 want to make a name for myself In politics," said the ambitions youth. "Well." answered Senator Sorghum, "it's liable to be a long and difficult enterprise. You'll probably have to put in a considerable share of your time allowing your enemies to call you any names* they happen to think of."-Washington Star. His Claim to Fame. "Who was this fellow Pepys, and what Is bis claim to fame?" "His claim to fame is well founded, my friend. He's the man who kept a diary for more than a year..'-Kansas City Journal. Cause For Surprise. Belle-Mr. Higgins started to kiss me. lost night Beulah And weren't you surprised? "I should say I was. He didn't do It"-Yonkers Statesman. His Preparation. "Listen to this charming bit of obit uary sentiment." said a cynical bach elor: "He bad been married forty years and was prepared to die." - Ladies' Home Journal. We accomplish more by prudence ?han by force.-Tacitus. Send your all kinds to J office. ! Cafflcd. Two brothers were once at Count j von Moltkes bouse at an eveniug j party. Both wore captains pf the jren ? oral staff. ?jie g?n?rai came up t<> a group of.gentlemen, one of whom was ono of the brothers. After joining in the conversation he said to the latter: "Just tell me who is that tall oilieer near the fireplace on the other side. 1 forget his name." "That's my brother, .yotir excel lency-," was the answer. A smiie stealing over the general's face suggested, tlie idea that he had not obtained the iuformation he wish ed. Some time after the general went to another group of people and there joined the oilieer whose, uame he had inquired. Suddenly the others saw him turning away, with tlie same smile on his face. Afterward, when they inquired from the young officer what the general had asked him. lie replied: "Ile asked rae '.who that officer was over there." And what did you say?" "I said that he was my brother?" The general gave up inquiring the name of the two brothers for that evening.. Wanted lt to Take. Mrs. B. believed in infant baptism, but for some reason tliat rite was not performed, for Tommy till he was some four or five years old. While the cere mony was iu progress the mother wai very much gratified with Tommy's be havior. He seemed duly impressei with the solemnity of the occasior and remained with bowed bead f< some time after the sprinkling ha; been done. ' The angel!" exclaimed the mother. "The little dear!" said a good sistei as She went up to give him a "Got bless you" and a pat on the head. Bu just as her hand was descending wit! that benediction a very wrathful and unangelic countenance was turne upon her., a pugilistic little list dein ered a paralyzing blow on ber bicep, and the indignant Tommy exclaims 'You git away from here!" Of course he was led ont in dlsgrac and questioned by his horrified motile; "Why. don't you know she would rubbed all the baptizing water off b: /fore it would 'a' bad time to soak in : explained Tommy, who from bis poi. of view was fully justified.-Los' A; geles Times. Buffoonery In "Hamlet." The buffoonery once tolerated in pr vincial theaters ld illustrated in an a ecdote set forth in the memoirs of l?; ry Sullivan. Wright, who was the iii xravedigger. prepared himself to til. the house by storm by having incas? >iis persou within a dozen or ino; waistcoats of all sorts of simpes :i patterns. When about to eommeui the operation of digging the grave i tne fair Ophelia Wright began to u*. wind by taking off waistcoat aftc waistcoat, which caused uproariou laughter among the audience. But a fast as he relieved himself of on waistcoat Paul Bedford, the seeom ntivedigger." Incased himself in' tb .astoff vests, which Increased the sai vos of laughter, for as Wright wa getting thinner Paul grew fatter ant fatter. Wright, seeing himself out done, kept on the remainder of, tbt waistcoats and weut on with bis pan quite crestfallen. An Awkward Selection. The first liaron Kenyon was ratbet fond of telling the story of bow whih on circuit with Justice Rook they en tered a village just in time to accom pany the population to the little vil lage church. The parish clerk,;anxious to have the congregation show due ap preeintion of the honor conferred by the presence of the distinguished ju rists, gave out tWo verses of one o? the metrical psalms: "Speak, O ye judges of the earth, if just your sen tence be. or must not innocence ap peal to heaven from your decree? Your wicked hearts and judgments are aliko by malice swayed, your griping bands by mighty bribes to violence betrayed." By this time most of the adults had woke up tb the application of the psalm and remained silent, allowing the children to continue the second verse.-London Taller. A Soft Answer. Jewel-Arrah. Jimmy, why did I marry ye? Just tell me that, for it's meself that's had to maintain ye ever since the, blessed day that I became your wife. "Swate jewel," replied Jimmy, not relishing the charge, "and it's meself that hopes I may live to see the day when you're a widow weeping over the cold sod that covers me. Then I'll see how you'll get along without me, honey."-London Tit-Bits. Needed Repairs. "Does your typewriter need repairs?" asked the meandering tinker as be en tered the office. "It would seem so," replied the em ployer. "She has just gone across the street to consult a dentist." More Modern. "Tommy, you have written this sen tence. 'The pen is mightier as the sword.' and' it Is incorrect, flow should it be changed?" "Pen ought to be changed to type writer, ma'am."-Chicago Tribune. He'd -Had Experience. Her (reading)-And so they were married, and that.was the last of their trouble. Him (sotto voce)-Last, but not least.-Cleveland Leader. Not That Kind. Tim-Would you scream if I kissed | you? Tessie-I suppose, you Hatter ' yourself that I'd be speechless with Joy!-Mobile Register. For THE AD VB Gotnj- Into c D: ? ..? C. : >?-.>? zs. It was CassJi?j-s Hrs! a. "faina an j newspaper carrier.: I'.'rom side tu side of.tho avenue lie hurried, dripping thc moist sheets ia Vestibules and mimina them in tile space between the dour and sin. Finally lie came to a house that was separated from the sidewalk ny an urn studded yard. Cassidy open ed tlie iron gate and walked up the stone path. He knelt in the vestibule and Marted running the paper under the door. An upper window was rais ed, and a wop.?.ti's voice called: '.ls that yo'. Harry? You are awful late. 1 hear the milk carts rattling." /Cassidy thought it hest to remain quiet. The voice continued: "You needn't think I'm coming down at such au hour! The idea of you. a married mau. coming home at such u time! Lost your key. as usual? Well, catch this one." A heavy piece of brass shot two sto ries.' There was a heavy fall, aud the vestibule resembled a press room. Some oue fo'uud Cassidy smoking his pipe in the .'accident ward." "Going back to the carrier route?" they asked. "Niver once more." responded Cassi dy. "Oi'tn goin' back to wur-ruk in th' quarry. Thor's no fallin' kaes thor, only rlynomited rocks."-Chicago News. As Expanded. A diminutive specimen of Juvenile femininity yclept Miss .Muffet had placed herself in a sitting postureupon an articl? 9t household furniture ordi narily termed au ottoman or hassock, ministering to the arati?catiou of her gustatory organs by ingurgitating toe coagulated portion of bovine lac teal fluid mingled with the watery serum of the same which remains aft er the coagulated portion has been segregated and withdrawn. Happeuiug to glance downward, she observed that a spe?jj?uii of the genus araneida. class arafcjjf?ida. remarkable for its ability tij.ifli'^fK-e filaments of extraordinary t?juV a Its own interior, had takeniffpaM'ticii upon the ottoman or hassoclaBKftji)niediate prox imity to her. Which totally unexpected incident aroused her apprehension to such an extent thar she immediately, not to say precipitately, arase from her sit ting posture and depart eil 'rom tin* locality, leaving ihe intruder in undis puted possession of the apartment. Chicago Tribune. An E?.cy Jcb. in antebellum days Colonel Moor* ol Kentucky owned a targe number of slaves. One day one nf th? Held hands. ' named .lupe was guilty of sume ne?: ligence and was sent to the woods ut once to cut down and split up a black gum tree, practica ?ly aa impossible task, .lupe cut down the tree ami la t -ed hard to split the tung'! wood. it in vain, hi the mea ulina- a thun derstorm cante nit. and .lupe soiighi refuge uuder a brush heap, hirerfiy the lightning struck a large poplar near by. splitting it into kindling woad. After the storm had passed .lupe crawled out 'from his place id' security ?iud after taking a careful look at the remains of the poplar tree, which were scattered all over tile woods, said: "Mr. Ligbtnin". 1 wish you had just tried yo' han".011 dis blackburn.1 Any blame fool can split a poplar!"- Cleve land Leader. " v How Welshwomen Carry Their-Babies. The quaiut old Welsh way in which Swansea women carry their babies at tracts every oue's notice when visiting that towu for the first time. A big shawl over the right shoulder is drawn down to the left hip. where the two euds of the shawl are met and held together, forming a sort of pouch or pocket, in which the baby snuggles 1 cozily and safely. Its weight ls so supported by the hip and distributed by the shawl over the whole upper part of the body that there is no straiu ut all nor any tiring of the arms. This probably accounts for the upright car riage of the Welsh mother. Moreover, the method is comfortable for the .child and so safe that in Swansea small boys swathed in their mothers' shawls are seen carrying the family's, latest baby.-Londou Chronicle. Dean Swift's Complaint. It is no new thing, this complaint which one hears of the htah cost of living. Writing to Stella from Lon don in the year 1710. Dean Swift re marks: "1 lodge in Bury street. St James, where 1 removed a week ago. 1 have the ?rst floor, the dining room and bedchamber at 8 shillings a week: plaguy deep, but 1 spend uothing for eating, never go to a tavern aud very seldom in a coach, yet, after all, it will be expensive." Knew of One. Traveler (delayed in Drearyburst b.\ washout)-Are there any objects ot curiosity in this village? Uncle Welby Cosh-Well. I reckon I've got as much curiosity as ary ob J4ck you'll hud. Where are you goin'. mister, an' what do you ltdler fur a llvin'?-Chicago Tribune. C. t the Time. A man was so cross eyed that he put ils hand into another man's pocket and abstracted therefrom a .watch. He wanted to learn the time. The judge told bim it would be three years. A Nuisance. Father-What do you mean, my son. by saying that your teacher is a nui sance? Theobald-Well, that's what you call me when I ask questions, an' teacher does nothin' else. Lofty Expectations. "Is your husband all you thought be was?" "'Just about. But he doesn't come close to being all he thought he was." printing of RTISBR Job ?4gt?sfc5s Leading Jeweler |lVERY department ot our store, is wei) sup plied and we solicit the patronage of the Edge held people. Augusta's Largest Dealers In Cut Glasses, Silverware, Diamonds, Jewelry, Watches, Silver Novelties otc We solicit your Fine watch and Clock repairing;. Call or .scud us ) our orders for Wedding presents fl A. J. RENKL, 708 Broad Stree Augusta, Ga. T YOU ARE INVITE? When you come to Augusta to buy your Winter Merchan andise do not fail to call upon us. Our large store is well filled in every department and we can supply your needs at very .low prices. DRY GOODS: W> c?.rry a very large stock ordry goods rom the staple domestic to the linest silks and dress goods. Come in and let us show you SHOES: We defy competition on shoes. Shoes for every age, every occasion and every purse. You cannot afford to buy before seeing our stock . - '-'f'J;f?V.'? if"\ i ' CLOTHING: Lnr~e stock ot stylish and dependable clothing for men and' boys at low prices NOTIONS: Our notion department is always full of the new and nobby things MILLINERY: We invite the ladles to visit our millinery depart ment All of the latest styles by express every week Come to see us. V - AUGUSTA BEE HIVE i ? E j. WILLIE LEVY CO. Of Augusta, Ga. Xmas Only Four Week Off I E Present the Following Suggestions foi? Gifts for '-Him" and "?tr" We've an extra strong line of Xmas gifts this year and at< a little lower price lhan you can find elsewhere. Por til iVleni & 1 oy: 7 Suit Cases Umbrellas, Tie Sets in Holiday. Boxes, Suspen der and Garter ?ets, Hath Robes, Smoking Jackets, Suits, Over coats, Mufflers, Gloves, Handkerchiefs. FOR THE LADY: A<Superb line of Neckwear, Kelts Hand Hags, Umbrellas, Kimonas. Bath-Robes, Tailored Suits. Call and see our linc of Holiday Gifts when you come to'Au gusta. Leave your packages with us and we'll send them to the ,% .train for you. Mak'? us ? >f the comfortable waiting rooms we' ve provided for tim men and adies. Mail orders given careful att-3:??i?.i. .V.i&) io.- OJ..' Xma? catalog. j THE J. WILLIE LEVY CO, 824 Broad Strait, Augusta, a. Abe .Cohen, $ ,_ x Prop BEB?BSB8 ? 1908 Banner Year ^otwithstandino; the panic and other business drawbacks, our sales were larder than an ,. previous year. Vi e vire better prepared than ever to serve you and can give you your ? '. rifuney's worth even time. Agents for Suer ene Feed. 'ON BROS & CO Leading Grocers, 863 Broad Si., Augusta, toa. pers. ve invite you to Call ai Our Store Our beautiful assortment of holiday ?"ods is being great iv admired, and what is better still is the verv low price Q^*bif>? f^lo-evo IS :,lreadv making his selections ?JU.T?ZC? r^?C?lIS how our immense stock of t'-\s dolls,, vases, I mp?, ^l?.-sw?r.r, crocker-. .; b" ls and pit? n ers, water sets, etc. li AU Toys at Cost A laro;e stock of fresh nuts raisins. cand> \VOKKS FOR EVLRYfeom ! LV'ON AND CO. Christmas is almost here and we aro reaciy for thu Amas shippers. We invite every one to cali. We have <n display beaiutift: dress goods, Notions, Novelties all kinds, thotr-, hat.-, c'or >. ?_ men and boys, all shades.?LC vi day ol'dress goads. Men's s?ita f . 5-i.T? to ?> 15.(-0, I oj' s. ii?. .:1.UU to ?5.Ll, fl.i 1 \ ; J ? I . . .-...ii ca;,,. . Our shift ? i ? ; 11 troi:g. L'ru ?io . lc .-cs I ? j ?-, j.i.t. 1. . , ii ck ?b .equalled ii. qut?iij? i.i o j ; ?.< Ladies co .1 i.i ci ; lt up tu slo, some i xi.i. i.- ic price. Mi.^sc : and :.-1 . co:. wrap-, ad.e ^ int 1 oi< Ki ?jS.5\j. Boys a.id mens hat:? in aii > 1 Li latest colo ?Ja ! to - V a j, ul. X:.i' ii. ? 1'? j? OOvly, ... ?t ?v??igh\s and prices. We cai tu\ you money in this department. Ladiei fancy collars,ties and r.ec' Y.:JL: .ii i l c'u.ds Lacjs, tn:? ,o . ?ii'j ib ;u.i LO oatt every taste. We haven't space to mention {everything. [ ci and let ns show you through even department. it < s are eut for the Holiday trade. ?ut pA piired to give you the test ano svior y cur money. pistmas _:-^ij?:'.!?L.'.'???? V. 'IG liayii can be n ace profitable by >?0 0. (m. u (basi s from us as we ; v ii . rlii :s that will make useful p. p. p. Mates Marvelous Cures in BM Foison, ienmatism and Scrofula. P. P. P. purifies the blood, builds up the weak and debilitated, gives strength to weakened nerves, expels diseaso, giving the patient health and happiness, where sickness, gloomy feelings and lassitude first prevailed. In blood poison, mercurial poison, malaria, dyspepsia, and in all blood and skin diseases, like blotches, pimples, old chronic ulcers, tetter, scald head. Ave say without fear of contradiction that P. P. P. is Che best blood purifier in the world. Ladies whose systems are poisoned ana whoso blood is in ah impure con dition due to menstrual irregularities; are peculiarly benofitted by the won derful tonic and blood cleansing properties of P. P. P., Prickly Ash, Poke Root and Potassium. F. Y. LIPPWIAN, SAVANNAH, CA. $ef our ' M Wt ol Blankets, /Vc-T:"?:r. ??ni1 erdiiefs, Suspenders, Ho KHW and Gloves. Our prc s on lings, Table linens, Doylies, ! ni ibjrp Lii^ and Comforts can not be beat en by anyone. Yon diQiil.l S33 our ''South Carolina" yard vii* 3Iatlras at 10c. Spx ial prices on Ladies and Misses Cloaks, N <;leii and Dress Goods. Yours truly, Get Your Laundry in on Tuesdays.. Le Jo Your Job Printing ?a