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FDGEFIELD ADVERTISER Nor, 3rd, 13.09. THE KANGAROO GIRL Her features are peachy, her ?yes an bright, Her lips are for kisses that clasp and woo. Her neck io a carvimr of creamy white, But Why Does She Walk Uke A .? Kangaroo? Her hair ls a midnight of maddening joy, Her form ls a Psyche's, and swaine vould sue. And Cupid would capture, the wine young boy. Except That She Walks Like ? " A V Kangaroo! Her mother, I think, doesn't know she's out, For mothers are wise and discreet an true. And if they but knew what their girls are. about Not One Would Thus Walk Like A Kangaroo! -Ho bert us Love in Judge. After the Honeymoon. Husband-My dear, 'are 3rou not? courting trouble by . being so friendly to this young man? , . ' Wife-No, my dear. I have already married lt.-Meggendorfer Blatter. His Shrewd Idea. "Who is the sour looking girl with the heavy underjaw?" "That's the.only daughter ol' old De ? Mflyuna." "And who ls the dainty bit of sweet ness with the blue eyes and. golden hair?" "ijChat'B the chaperon." -"What's the explanation?" "Why, it's old De Milyuns' clever idea., He thinks his Jane willi be per fectly safe, as long as Miss Blossom ls around."-Cleveland Plain Dealer. Equine Repartee. "Those lovemaking couples always j . hire yen to draw their .utter iileigbs?" j remarked the truck horse. "Yes," laughed the old white nag, "bat 'it seems to me instead "of being | attached to a sleigh I belong to an au tomobile." "Automobile? Why so?" . "Well, when I draw those lovemak ing couples ain't I a 'sparking ping?* ' And the horse laughs that echoed through the stable awakened the drow- j sy hostler.-Chicago News. Friendly Advice. "If 1 ever marry,"'said the bachelor who was beginning to be old, "I shall be careful to pick ont a lady whom I can treat as my equal." ! "Oh, say, old chap," answered the married man, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. I can tell yon from experi ence that a woman who would submit to such treatment wouldn't be worth paving around the house.'-Chicago Record-Herald. Why Ho Ate lt. "Jane, there was a whole pie in the pantry. What became of lt?" "My young man called on me las' night, ma'am." "And did he eat all that pie?" . "Elie was forced to, ma'am. There was so very little variety to choose from, ma'am."-Cleveland .Plain Deal er. Neighborly Inquiry. "My husband never falls when he leaves home in the morning to kiss me goodby." "Don't you ever have the fear that his heart may not soften enough dur ing the day to make him come back again at night?"-Washington Star.. Possible Breakdown. Pearl-Her father heard she was go ing to elope in an automobile, and he was furious. Ruby-Indeed! Pearl-Yes; he said automobiles could., not be trusted. ' Advised her to elope in a cab.-Houston Post Wanted-An Opportunity. Young Wife-Don't you admire a man who always says, the right thing at the right time? The Spinster-I'm sure I could If I ever have the pleasure of meering such a man.-Chicago News. Why. Else? , She-Why do they refer to locomo tives as "she?* . He-I suppose It's on account of the trahis they drag.-Chaparral .Undoubtedly. "Why, oh, why, are some people so strenuous?" "Because some others are no shift less." ' Let us supply you with garden seed. We sell both Buist's and Fer ry's seed. Either will give perfect satisfaction. B. Timonm8. New crop onion sets at B. Timraons. For Sale Real Estate No. 101. One of the Best Hotels n any country Town in the South, 14 Booms and all appurtenances, already furnished, well established', well equipped, well patronized. Situated near the business part of the Town of Edgefield, S. 0. This Hotel is known and patronized by the T. P. A.s from all over the country. . No. 102. A comfortable Cottage on Buncombe Street, in Edgefield, s.e. I No. 103. A Cozy Cottage near the business part of the Town in Edge-; field, S.C. No. 104. Residence on Jeter Streel in Edgefield, S. C. No. 105. 00-acre Farm between Edgefield and Trenton S. C. No. 106. 200-acre Farm about 10 miles South of Edgefield, S. C. No. 107. The Capt.Le.wis Jones place-70 acres beautifully located in town of Edgefield. Purchaser could sell almost enough town lots to pay for the place. 2 4-room dwellings. No. 108. Good Farm, 205 acres on road between Edgefield and Parksville, 4 miles from latter place 100 acres of timbered land, well watered, two erood tenant houses. No. 108. Good farm on Parksville road six miles west of Edgefield con taining 77 aores. Good three room house, good water and good pasture, very desirable place: For Rent. ? - . Two Cottages in Edgefield. If you have any Real Estate, Houses, Lands for Sale ot to Buy, or any business in Real Estate l beg to offer my services; in giving same ?oirompt attention. Let me know of your Wants and Don't Wants. E. J. Norris. Insurance and Real Estate Agent FOR THE CH?L?REN Thc Black Cockatoo. , There .is a wonderful cockatoo in one of the islands of tae Indian ocean aes?:New' Gomea, it is ^large as a full grown pheasant andris o$:& jet black' color. .'The',"bird", is> remarkable for li? immensely strong bllij. and the clfeVer manner iii which it is bSejd. The bill li as hard as steel., and the upper ; part has'a deep notch. I Now, the favorite food of this cock atoo lu the canary nut,."but 'there"is wonderful mgenuity required to get at lt, for the nut is something like a Bra- ' zil nut; but it is ten times as . hard. Jn fact, lt requires the blow bf ? heavy hammer to crack It It ls quite smooth and nome what triangular in ah?pe. Nature , appears to have- given th? possession of the wonderful bill some intel]igence to direct its powers, for the' cockatoo takes one of the nuts edgewise In its bill and by a carving motion of its sharp lower beak makes a small notch on it This done, the bird, takes hold of the nut with Its claws and, biting off a piece of leaf, retains lt In the deep notch of the up per part o& the hill. Then the nut is seized between the upper and lower parts of the bill and is prevented from slipping by the peculiar texture of the leaf. A sharp nip or two break off a tiny piece of the shell of the nut The bird then seizes the nut in its claws and pokes the long, sharp point of Its bill into the hole and picks out the ker nel bit by bit His Reason Why. Once upon a time a learned doctor had a foolish servant who always went with him to visit the sick. One day he was called to the bedside of a very ill patient and after examining the man the doctor said that he bad been eating oysters and that he must stop or he would die. When they left the house the servant asked the doctor how he knew that the sick man had been eating oysters. "Because," said .the learned man, "I naw the empty shells under the bed." Some time after this the doctor was very busy, and a call came for his im mediate service. In his stress he sent the 'servant to visit the patient, who was very bad, just to tell him that he would come as .soon as possible. The servant arrived, and, as he had fre quently heard his master do, he asked numerous questions; then, as his eyes wandered abont the room, he said, "Sir, you may die, for you have eaten a horse." "How dare you?' exclaimed the man's wife, and in anger she drove the fool out :>* When the doctor called he was told that his services were no longer re quired and the reason given. He hur ried home and questioned the servant. "Why were ..you such a fool?" he asked. To which the servant. replied, "I knew he bad eaten a horse, because I saw the harness under the bed." "Greyfriaru Bobby." An interesting monument has been erected near Greyl'riars cemetery, Ed inburgh, by the late Baroness Burdett Coutts, In memory, of a dog's devotion. This dog followed its master's remains to the cemetery In 1858; from that day and night after night for thirteen years lt guarded the grave and only left it to wlslt a restaurant near at band for Its dinner. At the Are of the 1 o'clock gun from the castle Bobby left the grave and returned immedi ately after a hasty meal at the restau rant On Sundays he dined from scraps laid in a certain place by him OD Fridays and Saturdays? He died In 1872. The facts are well authenticated and were reported prom inently In the newspapers dnrlng the dog's lifetime._ DAVID SL?SKY, 1009 Broad Street. High Grade Paints and Oils, Tin Roofing, Galvanized Iron Cor nice and Sheet Metal Work; Skylights, etc Stoves, Ranges, Mantel Tiling and Grates, Tin Plated Galvanized Iron, Copper, Zinc, Solder, Eve Troughs and Conductor Pipe's, Roofing and Sheathing Papers. Shop and Wareroom, 1010 Jones St., Augusta, Ga. Bell Phone No. 100. Your Laundry is wa rited. Send your work to my store any day in the. week, AU work received up to Tuesdays will be ready for delivery on Saturday p# m. James E* Hart When you visit'Augusta.call on L. J. Sehaiil & Co. Popular Price Jeweler?, 840 Broad Street. Largest stock' of Diamonds. Watches, Jewelry and Silverware in this section of the country Augusta's Leading Jeweler EVERY department ot our store is well sup plied and \rfe solicit the patronage of the Edget?eld people. Augusta's Largest Dealers in Gut Glasses, Silverware, Diamonds, Jewelry, Watches, Silver Novelties etc We solicityour Fine watch and Clock repairing. " Vi . ; i f -, ' Call or send us your orders , for Wedding presents. j . ' /j* '-i '.,/'...?? 708 Broad Stree :.: -' :- : Augusta/ Ga/ For Fall Shopping mak.e J. WILLIE LEVY CO'S Store your Shopping Headquarters in Augusta. Fall Offerings now ready for your inspection. For Men and Boys Suits, Overcoats, flats and Shoes. / For Ladies, The swellest liae of Keady-to-we ar Suits Shirtwaists, Odd skirts, Orave nette coats and Silk Petticoats. Comfortable Waiting Room for the Ladies. Get your packages together here and we will send them all to the train for you, Call and make yourself at home. THE J. WILLIE LEVY CO, 82 4 Ercad Street. Augusta, a. 1 Let The Advertiser Do Your Job Printing Ff?TTr> For S??te. 600 acres, 200 acres open, well watered, 3 tenant houses. 9 miles Plum Branch A bargain at $2,600.00. For particulars address the owners. JAMES FRANK & SON, . - - - AUGUSTA, GA. Til IS INC /IKE AN IN DEO. No crevices as hiding places for pests.and no slats continually fall ing down,White Enam eled and brass mount ed, Comfort in their very looks, and easily kept clean. Cost no more than out-of-date wood beds. We have them at $3.50 to $100. Georgia-Carolina Furniture Co., Originally Fleming & Bowles. 904 Broad St Augusta, Ga A nice souvenir needle case free for the asking. . Watch and Jewelry Repairing Eyeglasses Fitted AH Work Guaranteed GKO.F. Ml MS, Edgefield, S. C. JAS. S. BYRD. SURGEON DENTIST, EDGEFIELD, S. C. fP^Office over Post-Office. Tl M MOftS & CORLE i, SURGEON DENTISTS, Appointments at Trenton on Wednesdays. Crown and Bridge Work a Special cy. James A. Bobey, DENTAL SURGEON; Johnston, S. C. Office over News-Monitor Office. Lumber For Sale. We have put Mr. :Tom Smith in charge of our lum ber. Any one desiring 1st class heart boards, weath er boarding, ceiling > and flooring will do weil; to call on him w. A. sraoM. P. P. BLALOCK. BUILDING MATERIAL. You should remember when ; buy ing any one of the dozen following] articles that 1 save you money on Kerosene Oil Gasoline Machine Oil Dry Cell Batteries Shingles Brick Lil ne \yj Cement Lumber Cotton Seed C. S. Hulls C. S. Meal I solicit jQXLY patron age. Send, Come or Phone me. Phone No. 10. E. S. JOHNSON. insurance I represent a strong line of Fire In sur ance Companies and can insure your property. Your patronage will be appreciated. H. A. Smith. j THE STORE WHERE "MEN WHO KNOW" BUY CLOTHES. Your clothes are an impor tant factor in your affairs. They present you to the world as a Man of taste or as a trifler with your appear ance. Our Clothes are. styled right, made right and fit right. They are made to our older in the World's largest and best Tailor Shops by the best of Workmen. No exclusive tailor could make better clothes. The best dressers know* this and so we're'right in s aying | "Men Who Know, Come Sere for j Clothes:' Suits $15, $20 to $30 Overcoats $15, $18 to $25.11 If you've never bought Clothes here, Sir, come to see ?? what you have been missm^JH You'll like our Serviee as well as you'll like our Clothes. $ McCREARYS G???of 742 Broad St., - - - Augusta, Ga, .....".,. To Save Money on Paints and Glass and Brushes^ SPECIAL---"Masuary Paints at 4L35 per gallon. Write R, J. HORNE & Co. for prices R. J. Hoine &Co., 643 Broad street, - - - Auguula, Ga "Building: material from foundation to Roof ? m My f??l. stock-has all arrived -and l am better prepaaed ?ver before to serve the public. - Parents, see my see my School Shoes and S^ Dress Goods-everything that is needed to gel shildren ready for school. ; : % My CIothmg,Shoe,Hat,Dry Goods and Notion Deptj are all chock full of new things at reasona]ji& prices. Call and see for yourself. ' ' ' J. W. PE?E. E. J. NORRIS, General Insurance, Fire and Life Specialties; Accident,'Health, Tornado, Live Stock. I Represent the People of Edjrefield County and I rep resent the Prudential Life Insurance Co., The. Gibraltar j Company. The Hartford Fire Insurance Company. Home Fire Insurance Co., of New York, the largest in America. .Etaa Fire Insurance Company, of Hartford/ one of the biggest-The combined assets of these three over; $60,000,000.00-and many other Companies. This Agency has paid out about $50,000.00 in Fire ] Losses. I feel sure there is no where to be had as good a Lifejj Insurance Policy as that issued by the Prudential Life In? ouranee Company. E. J. NORRIS. 1908 Banner Year . Notwithstanding the panic and other business drawbacks, our sales were larger than any previous year. We are better prepared than . ever to serve you and can give you your money's worth every time. Agents for Sucrene Feed, ARRINGTON BROS & CO Leading Grocers, 863 Broad St?, Augusta, Ga. . ??: . ..ir: ..;