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Caught hy a New Game. .'What's the matter with you?" asked the head of the firm when he came in and found the junior partner pacing the floor, like a caged lion. "Understand that this is strictly be tween ourselves," came the answer in an irritated manner. "There are some things that a man wanta to en dure without any assistance or sym pathy from others. I was sitting here an hour ago looking through the mail. A welirdressed man with pleasing manners caine in and asked for you, stating that there was an important matter of business about which he must talk to you personally. We had a pleasant little chat, when he looked at his watch, said ho seemed to have conflicting engagements, and asked if he might ase the telephone. Of course I conseni ed and showed him into the next room, into the booth. "In about ten minutes be came out smiling, thanked me cordially and said he would be back in half an hour to transact his business with you. He wasn't more than out of the bu?ding when the telephone jingled and the main office inqured whom that mes sage to St. Louis should be charged to. "What message?" I yelled,excitedly. "Why, the one that just went over the long iiatance, of course." "My knees quaked and my voice quivered as I asked how much if was. " 'Just $15.80,' " came the madden ing reply. "Charge it to me!' I shouted and then chased wildly around the block looking for the fellow. That was an other fool trick. To think of a man of my age and experience being such an unmitigated and infernal chump. I'll hunt that fellow to the ends of the earth. But don't you say a word. Mf-ad, now. "-Detroit Free Press. What Did She Do to Him. Magistrate-Do you mean to say such a -physical wreck as he is gave you that black eye? Complaining Wife-Sure, yer hon or, he- wasn't a physical wreck until after he gave me th' black eye.-Tit Bits. A Veil of Mist Rising ot norning or evening from som? low land, ofte:i carries In Its folds the seeds cf ma laria. Where malarial fever prevails no one ls safe, unless protected by some efficient iredlci nal safeguard. Hosteler's Stomach Bitters ls both a prc tectlon and a remedy. Ko perse a who Inhabits, or sojourns In a miasmatic region or country, should omit to procure this fort'Jylng agent, which ls also Uie finest known remedy for dyspepsia, constipation, kidney tronblo and rheumatism. When a woman refuses to talk it is but rea sonable to suppose that she ls sick. WHKN 'Dillons or cosnvo, eat a Cascoret, candy cathartic: cure guaranteed; 10c., 25c. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children teething, softens the gums, reduces lnttenma ttc-n, allays pain, cures wind colic. SSc. a '?> >ttle. Flt? permanenUy cured. No fits or nervous ness after first erny's ase of Dr. Kline's Great Nerv* Restorer. 82 trial bottle and treatlre free. DB. R. H. KU-VE. Ltd.. 881 Arch St., Phill, Pa. If afflicted with sore eyes URO Dr. Isaac Tl. orap son's Eye-water. Druggists seU at 25c. per lottie. CASCABKTS stimula te liver, kidneys and bowels. Never sicken, weaken or gripe; 13c. Scrofula Cured "When three months old my boy waa troubled with scrofula. There were sore places on his hands and body as large as a mon's hand, and sometimes the blood would run. We began giving-him Hood's Sarsaparilla and it soon took effect. When he had taken three bottles he was cured.' W. H. GAKN-SB, West Earl, Pennsylvania. HQOd'S Orilla la Che best-In fact tfje Or?>j True Blood Purifier. ||A.4t. DSU? cnre ail Liver 1119 ?ad HOPO y rlllS Sick Headache. 25c. ? (?iring Away Brides. "In addition to oui' business of let ting our wedding dresses on hire," said a member of a well-known firm of costumers ir. the west central district of London, "we often perform our lit tle services for the bride. "You, of course, recognize the fact that in this great city there are scores of hard-working girls who are miles away from their relations, and who have always been too busy to cultivate many friends. Well, when thesa girls are abooiio marry young fellows who are similarly circumstanced, tho ques tion arises as to who shall give away ''the bride. "I can answer that question for them at once, for I have connected with my business an ex-major in the army, ? member of an ancient family, and a man, too, of unimpeachable character. He is poor, but he dresses well, has beautiful white hsir and looks the kindly father to periection. I introduce him to the bride ant bride groom, and he, for a moderate fee, gives the former away. "Sometimes he takes the whole ar rangements of a breakfast, ano. so on, upon himself, and he is a fine speaker on occasion. He is always a welcome guest with these people afterwerd." KIDNEY TROUBLES Cured by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, Also Backache. I cannot speak too highly of Mrs. Pinkham's Medicine, for it has done so much, for me. I have been a great suf ferer from Kidney trouble, pains in muscles, joints, back and shoulders; feet would swell. I also had womb troubles and leucorrhoea. After using Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound, and Blood Purifier and Liver Pills, I felt like a new woman. My kidneys are now in perfect condition, and all my other troubles are cured. MES. MAGGIE POTTS, 334 Kauffman St., Philadelphia, Pa. Backache. tty system was entirely run down, and I suffered with terrible backache in the small of my back and cc ula hardly stand 'upright. I was more tired in the morning than on retiring at night. I nad no appetite. Sine i taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, I have gainedfiiteen pounds, and 1 look better than I ever looked before. I shall recommend .it to all roy friends, as it certainly is a wonder ful meaUdne.-MRS. E. F. MORTON, 1043 Hopkins St., Cincinnati, Ohio. Kidney Trouble. Before taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, I had suffered many years with kidney trouble. The pains in my back and shoulders were terrible* My menstruation became bf regular, and I was troubled with leu corrhoa. I was growing very weak. I had been to many physicians but re ceived no benefit. I began the use of Mrs. Pinkham's medicine, and the first bottle -relieved the pain in my back and regulated the menses. It ls the best kind of medicine that I have ever taken, for it relieved the pain so quickly j and cured the disease.-MRS. LILLIAN ORTPPEW.BOX TT, St. Andrews Bay, Fla. A fi F N T ft S3 t0 9?s E?r daT- 0atflt roz E. HVCn I O ?fl.L. W. fc.TRACY. Nswpcrt.iY. . ?. . I Middle Age. I stood on the level hilltop, In the glowing heir toon; I knew mv faithful shadow Must fail behind me soon. I signad, as, looking backward. I saw in the light ot Truth So little but vain endeavor. And the barren dreams of youth. There were broken cups of promise, There was many a wasted day; There were shrines my hands had builded To gods with feet of clay. Then I wept to know the mo::nlug, With all its blossoms fair. Had left but withered thistles To All the noontide air. -Margaret Holmes Bates. The Courting. Once there was a maiden fair, A many years ago. With laughing eyes and misty hair, A many years ago. And when the golden sun had fled Beyond the hills and day was dead, Unto her door a brave youth sped, A many years ago. Adown the winding lanes they strayed, A many years ago. While Cupid on their heart strings played, A many years ago. And moonlit were the summer skies, And lovelight glistened ic their eyes, And earth to them wad a paradise, A many years ago. He told the story new yet old, A many years ago. The sweetest story ever told , A many years ago. He kissed her on her downy cheek. Her blushes warm played hide and seek, For love of him she could not speak, A many years ago. The maiden fair and gallant dwain, A many years ago. Husband and wife at last became, A many years ago. But not each other did they wed, She wedded a man whose wife was dead, He wedded another maid instead, A many years ago. -Boston Globe. Little Feet. Two little feet, so small that both may nestle In one caressiDg hand; Two tender feet upon the untried border Of life's mysterious land; Those rose-white feet along the doubtful future Must bear a woman's load; Alas!^ Since woman has tho heaviest burden And walks the hardest road. Love, for a while, will make the path be fore them . All dainty, smooth and fair; Will cut away the brambles, letting only The roses blossom there; But when the mother's watchful eyes arc shrouded Away from sight of men, Aud these dear little feet are left without her guiding, Who shall direct them then? Will they go stumbling V idly in the dark ness Of sorrow's tearful shades? Or find the upland slopes of peace and beauty, Whose sunlight never fades? Oh, who may read tho future? For this sweetheart small We want all blessings sweet. And pray that he who feeds the crying ravens Will guide the baby's feet. War Song of the Greeks. Sons of the Greeks, arise! The glorious hour's gone forth, And, worthy of such ties. Display who gave us birth. CHOBUH. ? 8oas of Greeks! let us go In arms against the foi?, . Till their hated blood shall flow In a river past bur feet. Then manfully despising The Turkish tyrant's yok?. Let your country see yon rising, And all her chains are broke. Brave shades of chiefs and sages. Behold the coming strife! Hellenes of past ages. Oh, start again to life! At the sound of my trumpet, breaking Your sleep, oh, join with me! And tho seven-hill'd city seeking, Fight, conquer, till we're free. Sons of Greeks, etc. Sparta, Sparta, why in slumbers Lethargic dost thou lie? Awake, and join thy numbers With Athens, old ally! Leonidas recalling, That chief of ancient song. Who saved ye once from falling, The terrible! the strong! Who made that bold diversion In old Thermopylae. And warring with the Persian To keep his conntry free; With his three hundred waging The battle, long he stood, And like a lion raging, Expired in seas of blood. Sons of Greeks, etc. -Byron. In Blossom Time. If s 0 my heart, my heart. To be out in the sun and sing! To sing and shout in the fields about, In the balm and the blossoming. Sing loud, O bird in the tree; 0 bird, sing loud in the sky; And honey bees, blacken the clover seas; There are none of you glad as I. The leaves laugh low in the wind; Laugh low with the wind at play; And the odorous call of the flowers all, Entices my soul away! For oh, but the world is fair, is fair; And oh, but the world is sweet! I will out in the gold of the blossoming mold, And sit at the Master's feet. And the love mv heart would speak, 1 will fold in the lily's rim, ... That the lips of the blossom, more pure and meek, May offer it up to Htm. ^ Then sing in the hedgerow green, O thrush, O skylark, sing in the blue; Sing loud, sing clear, that the King may . hear, And my soul shall sing with you. -Ina Donna Coolbrith. Taking No Chances. . There used to be a peculiar old Justice of the Peace in Vevay, Ind., down near the Ohio River, who enter tained very queer notions concerning court procedure. On one occasion, af ter all the evidence was in and the plaintiff's attorney had made an elabo rate argument, the defendant's attorney arose to begin his plea. "Hold on there," exclaimed the court. "I don't believe I can let you proceed, Mr. Smith. I have a very clear idea now of the guilt of the prisoner at the bar, and anything from you at this time would have a tendency to confuse the court. I know the man is guilty now, and I don't want to take any chances."-Chicago Times-Her ald. Using Oranges for Cleaning Purposes. In southern regions, t where the orange abounds, the fruit is used not only as a food but also for cleaning purposes. Oranges are out into halves, and wooden tables, benches and floors are cleaned with them, aa northern women would use a scrubbing brush and soap. The boards are white and stainless after this application, the acid of the fruit seeming to remove all stains and dirt, and doing even bette r work than soap. The busiest telephone exchange m the world is said to be that on Wash ington street, Chicago. The daily average of messages is $180,000. v. . - ? YEARLY SLAUGHTER OF BIRDS. Th? Demands of Fashion Rapidly Ex termina Un sr Feathered Songsters, AHhougli it maj savor of ungallantly to the fair sex, it is nevertheless most painfully true that the demands of modern fashion, especially in the line of female headgear, are rapidly play ing havoc with the feathered songsters of our American forest. The Audubon Society, of Massachu setts, has recently made a thorough investigation of the subject for the purpose o? ascertaining with some de gree of exactitude how many birds aro killed annually to supply the world's millinery establishments, and the fig ures collected by the society will doubtless be interesting to some of our readers. Great Britain alone, it is said, imports yearly over 25,000,00(1 birds, which find their way into the various fashion laboratories of the kingdom to be manufactured into hats and other articles of personal wear. The entire continent of Europe is credited with not less than 300,000,000 annually. To show the enterprise of individual firms engaged ia the bird traffic, one establishment in London last year im ported 400,000 humming birds, 6000 t>ird3 of paradise and 500,000 birds ol other descriptions. American firms, however, are by no means backward. One in Chicago last year received over 360,000 birds during the twelve months ending December 31, 1896, most of which have since found owners in the social realm. Surpassingly wonderful is the art which preserves these birds in such radiant and life-like fashion, but serious beyond measurement is the wholesale slaughter which is going on from year to year in order to supply the world's market. Does it pay to rob nature in such a remorseless manner merely to enrich fashion? Is it not, in a measure, cruel to sacrifice millions of songbirds yearly for no other purpose than to decorate the world's headgear? These are per tinent questions, especially in view of the fact that larger purchases are being made this year than ever before. With out predicting tho complete annihila tion of our songbirds, it suffices lb show that if the present rate of slaughter continues it will not be long before the only, relic of these warblers will be found on some old faded bon net.-Atlanta Constitution. WORDS OF WISDOM. A step in time saves pain. Overwork is a thief of time. Many let heaven go hy default. There is no safe side in any kind of sin. ' Thought without puipose is like seed spilled upon the ground. The hand that holds the rod should always be controlled by love. Charity robs herself when she frowns while bestowing a gift. Education, in this age, means cram ming in more than leading out* Every great gift has a germ of re sponsibility hidden within itself. When there is a coffin in the house there is a welcome for the preacher. Blessed is the mau who knows how little he knows of other people's busi ness. It is doing that which costs some thing that strengthens the moral back bone. Nothiug can make people go blind any quicker than filling their eyes with gold dust. When the right kind of a man is taken out of the miry clay he knows enough to stay out. There is always hope for the man who can he taught what a fool he has been by one mistake. One finger lost in -a buzz-saw will do for most men, but a fool will fool with it again and lose two. There is no admission into the straight gate for those who are not will ing to give up all that is crooked. A wise man can learn something worth knowing from a fool, but a fool is made all the more a fool by going to college. The ::act that there is so much stuft that shines like gold, makes the 6tory of disaster one of the saddest chapters ever written.-Ram's Horn. What Street Railways Cost. The cost of construction and equip ment of each of the street railways of Philadelphia must be reported from time to time under oath to public offi cials there. From these reports it ap pears that the entire cost of the 447 miles of track in that city in 1896 was reported by the companies themselves at only $56,300 a mile aside from pav ing. Now the paving in Chicago on the 390 miles, other than cable, be longing to the three main systems, does not average over 75 cents a square yard, or about $3500 a mile. This paving is almost entirely wooden block, cobble stone and macadam. As for the paviag, chiefly of granite block, of the eighty-two miles of cable track, the superintendent of the Chicago City Railway, Mr. Bowen, declared before the recent convention of street railway engineers in St. Louis, that the cost was $12,708 per mile of double track, or $6354 per mile of single track, more than for wooden block. A general average of the cost of all kinds of pav ing done on the Chicago street rail ways is about $?500 a mils of single track. This, added to the $56,300, returned by the Philadelphia compa nies, would give $60,800. Tobe sure, there is not quite as large a percent age of expensive cable track in Phila delphia as in Chicago, but, on the other iiand, the fall in the price of all street railway material has been so great ;he last five years that doubtless the Philadelphia roads could be duplicated :o-day for much Jess than their cost. [micalo Record. low the Emperor Observed New Tear. A recent number of the official gazette of the Chinese Government ?ontaias the following announcement: "This day being the first day of the lew year, the imperial astronomical loard sends a report to his majesty hat the direction of the wind, coming rom the southeast, prognosticates a roar of plenty and long life to men. Iis majesty will celebrate to-morrow j >y eating the sacrificial meats with the I lourt 'ii 8 o'clock, and later on in the i orencon will proceed to the Southern i jake palace to pay the compliments of i he season to H. I. M., the empress i lowager, after which his majesty and :ourt will return to tho city." Iridescent Glass. Recent experiments have demon- ( trated the fact that a piece of glass ( nay be made iridescent by flooding 1 vith a dilute solution of silicate of soda 1 nd allowing it to dry spontaneously f n an upright position. Washing the ] ?late in running water and again dry- : ng nay bring out the colors more ! ?rillinntly, while blackening the back j f the glass will render them gorgeous. ?he film adheres tenaciously and can ? carcoly be removed except by etching. ( THE CAMPHOR TREE. Effort to Baise lt In Florida-How it Grows In Japan. Some efforts are soon to be made to acclimate the Brazilian rubber tree iu Florida. There is some reason to think that camphor trees might be grown profitably also. On a farm about two miles west of Albion, Fla., a camphor tree is growing which was planted there about fourteen years ago. It is now nearly two feet in di ameter at thc ground, and, although growing in au old field and receiving no cultivation for years, it seems to thrive. The freezing weather of two years ago affected it slightly, but it has more than recovered from this now. In this connection what Robert P. Portei' sayi concerning the camphor trade in japan, in his recent report on the commerce and industries of that country, recently published by the National Association of Manufacturers, is of much interest and importance. Mr. Porter says: "The camphor tree is very peculiar in its growth, thriving only in particu lar localities in Japan-in those places where the average yearly temperature is above fifteen degrees C., which face south, and are generally within the reach of sea atmosphere. It grows only in Shikoku, Kiushiu and a por tion of Izu and Kii Provinces. It grows at the rate of about one and a half inches a year, but attains r\ great size, forty feet in circumference being not unusual. The quantity of cam phor obtained from the tree increases as the tree grows older. From sixty to eighty pounds of camphor have been obtained from trees fifty to a hundred and fifty years old, in spite of the fact that the process Of extracting tho es sence is still very primitive. ' The cul tivation of camphor trees is, therefore, considered very profitable; for even at the estimate of $30 (silver) per 133 pounds (at present the market stands at $70 per 133 pounds) it is confidently believed by trustworthy authorities that after the trees have attained the bearing age-that is, about forty years -the yield per cho (about two and a half acres) will not fall below $10,000 (silver) a year. "It is impossible to obtain reliable statistics as to the quality of available raw material in Japan; for, since the price of campor has risen, owing to the steady increase of demand from Europe and America, camphor trees have been felled so indiscriminately that at present, except in state forests and in the premises of Shinto shrines, there are practically no available camphor trees. The raw material is barely kept up by digging roots and stumps of trees cut down decades ago, and also by surreptitiously cutting down trees in State forests. The attention of camphor refiners and merchants is therefore now turned to Formosa, where a considerable extent of cam phor is found."-Manufacturer. POPULAR SCIENCE; '. An Austrian fluid designed to pu? rent boiler incrustation is composed of water, calcined soda, oil soot, pulver ized zinc, caustic lime and mineral oil, to which blend are added tannin and tartaric acid. Some portable electric stoves are found very convenient by ladies, for p heating curling irons, chafing dishes, etc., aud a tiny laundr" . inglaces, haudkevchie articles, is very popuh lu a new automatic water-pumping w iudmib ism is.so connected wjtfc tank that it is put in mo water has sunk to a certti. stopped when the water at lain height. H. M. S. Star is the fir torpedo-boat destroyers heit . the British navy. She is H\> ?iwiurcd and fifteen feet in length and-twenty feet nine inches iu breadth, her con tract speed being thirty knots per hour; she is the fastest vessel afloat. The Sciara, a worm-like insect of forests of Hungary and Norway, is only a tenth of an inch long, yet in migrating, in July or early August, the creatures are said to stick themselves together in a serpent-like mass often forty to fifty feet long and several inches thick. A French naturalist states that if the ends of the mass ba placed together the insects will travel for hours in the circle formed. A Western inventor has developed an arrangement whereby the act of opening the furnace door to fire puts into operation an arrangement for in jecting heated air into the furnace, and this injection continues for a predeter mined time, being shut off automati cally by the attached mechanism at the end of a period, the length of which is determined by experiment, which will allow of the combustion of the volatile constituents of the fuel. Ionone, the perfume of the violet, ia mentioned as unquestionably the finest of all products of sympathetic chemis try thus far. In its commercial form of a ten per cent, solution, it is quoted at $140 a pound, which would make the value of the undiluted substance, at the same ratio, $H00 a pound. And this,, moreover, is only crude material, of disappointing odor. It is only when much further diluted and skillfully1 combined with other materials that the exquisite fragrance of the violet is' brought out. o It has been suggested, says Elec tricity, that economy of street rail roads would bc subserved by placing the wheels on ball bearings, and Ex periment has shown that the starting torque required on a car so equipped is very much less than on other cars. I seems to be only a question whether the cost of introduction and mainten ance of ball bearings is not greater than the cost of tho energy that would be saved by their use. If it is not, we may look for far greater station economy in the near future. The Ostrich Lays Three-Ponnd Eggs. The ostrich hen lays every other day, and the egg weighs about three pounds; it is a tasty and nutri tious food, however prepared, very rich and excellent for making pastry and cakes. It is generally computed to be equal to two dozen fowls' eggs; but this must be on account of its. su perior richness, for, from personal ex periment, the empty shell of a fairly large one exactly held tho contents af eighteen fowls' eggs. It takes about forty minutes to boil an ostrich ?gg hard. The period of incubation .s about six weeks.-The Zoologist. A Strange Fish. A strange fish was taken from the vVabash river at Logansport, Ind., the >ther day which is a good deal of a mriosity. It is fifteen inches long, ?ve?gliH about two and a half pounds, md has no fins on the back except a miall one near the tail. The strange iart of the fish is its mouth and ;ongue. It has two rows of teeth in he lower jaw and three in the upper aw, and two rows of large teeth on the ?ngue, which is flexible. The head ind mouth of the fish resemble those >f a bulldog, ?UE BUDGET OF 1?UM0E.1 LAUGHTER-PROVOKING STORIES FOR LOVERS OF FUN. The Saler o" ?he Woild-Not a Kaw Re cruit-Tho Perverso Sex-Suburban Vicissitudes-A Goad Excuse-Po s ses sion- On tbe Tandem-Easy Proof, Etc. "The hand that rocks the cradle," saM tho poet, "rules the world;" And once, perhaps, tho statement had its worth; But to-day we give tho medal to the foot that works the pedal; The wheelwoman now rules o'er all tho earth/ -Philadelphia American. Not a Raw Recruit. Wandering William-"Yes, Mum; ? have de misfortune to belong to de great army of de unemployed!" Mrs. Oorntassel (coldly)-"Yes; you seem to be a veteran."-Puck. On tho Tandem. She-"Gracious 1 Surely you don't think of trying to steer through that compact mass of vehicles." He-"Certainly. Where there's a wheel there's a ?ray."-New York Journal. A Good Excuse? "No," said Madge, firmly, "I would never marry a newspaDer man." "But why?" "Why, gracious! You catt nev?r scold them for coming home late." Philadelphia American; Tho Perverse Sex. . Quericus-"How did he come to win that (nrl who was always so indifferent to him?" Cynicus-"He told her he had joined a bachelor's club, and that made her determined to have him." _ IC vi de ii co of Strength. "Is your baby strong?" "Well, I should say so. He raised the whole family out of bed at 3 o'clock this morning, and scientists say that that's the hour when everybody's strength is at its lowest point."-Bos ton Traveler. - Didn't Move Him. "Well, did the boss give you a raise?" "No." * "Not even when you told him you had grown gray in his service?" "No. Gave me the name of a good hair-dye. "-Puck? Easy Proof; Prospective Purchaser-"You say he's a savage watchdog?" Owner-"Yes, indeed." Prospective Purchaser-"But how am I to know that?" Owner-"Try 'im; jes' go outside with me, and climb in at that winder!" -Chicago Record; Prepared for lt. Family Physician (solemnly) "Your wife is a very sick woman-do you want to know the worst?" Husband (who has been there be fore)-"Certainly, certainly!-tell me the worst:-Is it Long Branch, Sara toga, Richfield Springs or Europe?" Puck. A Slight Misunderstanding. .? Westerner-"That bank in town has busted and the people are lookin' for . ? .,. A ?ciuict of acquit tai on the ground of emotional insan ity.-Detroit Journal. Indelibly Fixed. "And you will never forget me?" he laked. She raised her eyes tremulously to his. "How," she asked, "eau I ever for jet him who called the night I wore a i new organdie the first time? No, Edwin, I can never forget you. "-De troit Journal. An impression. "Did that lawyer get a clear view of :he case?" inquired the litigant's friend. "No; I'm afraid he didn't. I told aim that my trouble was about moue}', ind he seemed to be proceeding on he theory that by relieving me of ny money he would cause the trouble ;odisappear."-Washington Star. Suburban Vicissitudes. Physician-"Yes, madam, I have ex unined your husband. All he needs s fresh air and exercise." Caber-"Oh, dear! He never will ake exercise, and I know there is no ise urging him to. What shall I do?" Physician-"Move out of town into he suburbs. Get some house that is idvertised as 'Five minutes from the tation.' He'll have plenty of exercise hen, for he'll have to tramp for a few niles every day to miss his train." fit-Bits. The Changes of Time. "My son," said the retired mer hant, "as you start ont in business or yourself let me impress upon you I ' ne thing." "That honesty is the best policy, I uppo8e," replied the son. . "Oh, yes, yes, certainly. I would ave mentioned that, too; but what I ranted particularly to say was that the ian who said in the bright lexicon of onth there is no such word as fail adn't taken a squint at an up-to-date ?xicon. "-New York Journal. How It Happened. Soiled Spooner-"How did yon hap en to take the road, anyway, Sel um?" Seldum Fedd-"Ah! I was driven j it by Fate! One time, when I was growin' youth, jest passin' t'rough de in-feather stage, a travelin' phrenolo ist came along and prognosticated dat was sure to go to Congress some day. n order to avoid such a calamity, I lit ut from home, an' have kept movin' ver since, never liugerin' long eno" ??h. i one place to git a residence." 'nek. Sewed Up His Heart. If scientists and medical men keep n making discoveries aud performing perations heretofore unheard of, it on't be long before "elixir of life" or mntain of youth will be necessary to rolong life. The latest thing in this ne is an operation recently performed y a German physician. The patient ad been stabbed in the heart and was urriedly conveyed to n hospital. The octor at once laid bare the heart, tl iwed up the cut in it made by the o isassin's knife and then applied gen ial treatment for arresting the hemorr ige. The heart worked violently ming the operation, but after it was rer the patient made good progress, id soon recovered, and his hnart is ?clared to be perfectly sound hy this me. TIPED. For the faith that is not broken By the barden of the day; For the word that is not spoken (Dearest words are slow to say); For the golden draught unproffered To the thirst that thirsteth on; For the hand that is not offered When the struggling strength is gone For the sturdy heart that will not Make a pauper of my need, Friend, I mean some time to thank you From my soul, ia truth and deed. .. Wait! Some day, when I am braver, I will do so-say so. Now (Ohl be tender!) I nm tired; I have forgotten how. Elizabeth Stuart Thelps Ward. PITH AND POINT. One difficulty about seizing an opportunity is the trouble experienced in penetrating its disguise. Not ali philosophers are poor men; but all poor men sooner or later come to be philosophers.-Puck. Most of us are inclined to measure our own achievements by what other people haven't done.-Puck. "I believe the British national debt is larger than ours. " "I suppose i!; is. Look at the Prince of "Wales's clothes." -Puck. Fogg says he is immoderately fond of red hair, because it looks so much better after it has turned gray.-Bos ton Transcript. Lecturer-"The entire history of the world has moved in cycles." Sprocket-"What make?"-Philadel phia North-American. "What do the coal men do in the hot weather, papa?" "It takes them all summer to figure up their profits, my son."-Detroit Free Press. "Your daughter Imogene is a per fect Venus, Mr. Duggins." "Yes Venus de Milo; she never does any work with her arms."-Chicago Record. Minnie-"I want to introduce you to a young lady-a very nice young lady-and she's worth her weight in gold." Bob-"Stout girl, I hope." Tit-Bits. She-"Miss Oldfield has suddenly become deeply interested in the play." He-"Naturally; it is in this act that the heroine tells how she won he" hus band. "-Truth; Employer-"I thought you wauted to go to your grandmother's funeral this afternoon." Office Boy-"Please, sh*, it was postponed on account of wet grounds."-Truth". "This won't do," exclaimed Mrs. Box, excitedly, "there's thirteen at the table." "Never mind, maw," shouted lillie Johnny, "I kin eat for two, that makes it fourteen."-Stand ard. Professor-"Say, Anna, couldn't we just as well postpone our silver wed ding and celebrate it at the same time as the golden wedding? I don'*; like to be interrupted in my work so often. " -Fliegende Blaetter. Miss Gotrocks-"Did you say you were nearly related to the Ponsomby family?" Miss Millions-"Oh, yes; my sister once accepted Lord Ponsoni by's brother's youngest son-but the match fell through."-Judge. Mamma-"No, Johnny; one piece of pie is quite enough for you."" Johnny-"It's funny; you say you aro qnTiVvc i-i.- . . . .t prop ? me a .. . Jour 's no m the -"It's weep, man's : and ;<v . ..w r.'AriTinL rut Wo. When They Were Recited "Old Ironsides*' Proved tile 3Iost I usp! riling. Soon after the close of the Civil War Cassius M. Clay, T. C. Durant, of the Union Pacific Railroad, Commodore Bogga, Curtis Guild, the secretary of the Russian Minister, and two other gentlemen, were guests at a little sup per at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, New York. The conversation turned upon Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Bri gade," which one of the guests de clared to be the most martial poem ever written. "Bah!" exclaimed one of the com pany, half in jest, "The rhythm is faulty, and some of the lines remind me of pumpkins rolling over a barn floor. For instance: " 'Bodo the six hundred, m m ? m + Some one had blundered.'" "I defy any one to name an Ameri jan poem so inspiriting," retorted the ?nthusiastic lover of the British poet. Mr. Guild, who reports the conversa tion in his "Chat About Celebrities," suggested that there was Holmes's poem of "Old Ironsides." "Do you know the lines?" was de manded. . "Oh, yes! I declaimed them more dian thirty years ago at school." "Well, I challenge yon to recite Old Ironsides' and I will recite 'The ?harge of the Light Brigade,' and we ? ill abide by the verdict of the coni Dany as to which is the more inspirit ing." "The Charge" was recited first, and t was done admirably. At its conclu lion, after the applause had ceased, .Jr. Guild began back in "A Metrical 3ssay," in which the author re-present sd the poem with un introduction, and hen followed it with the well-known rerses, beginning: Ay, tear her tattered ensign down! "By the time," ho writes, "I was lalf through the first verse, I saw the ace of Commodore Boggs light up and tis eyes flash; 'Cash' Clay, too, was ill attention Tho poet's lines had heir effect. As the declaimer ended nth " "Nail to th?j mast hor holy Aug, Sot overy threndbare sail, And givo her to the god of storms Tho lightning and tho gale,' he brave old commodore brought down tis fist on the table, exclaiming, 'That's o, by Jupiter!' and Clay leaped to his \ eet, shouting, 'Hurrah for the Anieri an flag!' "-Youth's Companion. Fish Should be Killed. According to a statement in Cosmos, [ie fishermen of Holland take the pre aution of killing all fish aa soon as i hey are landed, whilo the French j shermen, on the contrary, allow the i sh to die from asphyxiation. It is ? rgod that the Dutch custom should , e universally followed, not only from ( onsiderations of mercy, but because sh that are promptly killed are in ?uch better condition for the table. Oddly Mated EJCH. . j The assertion comes from Germany ] aat the majority of the people are not ? nly right-handed, but also right- | ightetl. By this is meant that most ersons see better with the right eye j . jan with the left, and habitually, I lough unconsciously, employ it more. : ome persons, however, make greater se of the left eye than of the right, , tid accordingly are said to be "Jeft ped."-Chicago Inter Ocean. Eminent Electrician Disappointed. It is hirdly rossible that there ea he two more bitterly disappointed me: in the world today than Nicola Tesl and Thomas A. Edison, if the tw comparatively obscure scientists wb have lately claimed the discovery of method to make electricity from coal shall substantiate their claims. Bot] Edison and Tesla have been lyin? awake o' nights much of the time fo years to unlock this one of nature' secrets, and both of them, more thai once, have felt certain of rapidly ap proaching success, and yet the priz seems to have been grasped by .son?e body else.-Exchange. Clear Evidence. Judge-"What's your name? Prisoner-I'm Pat Murphy, you honor. Judge-Where do you live? Prisoner-Sure, I don't live any where, sor. Judge (to second prisoner)-What'? your name? "I's Denis McCarthy, sor." "Where do you live?" "B( >rra, your honor, I live nex door t.NPat Murphy.-Punch. One Exception. Smythe (entering)-I suppose every thing in this museum is a barefaced humbug. Browne (leaving)-Well, there's tin bearded lad^v- New York Sunday Journal. I AN DY io* 25 * 50* ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED ?RSTS^S plu ?nd booklet free. Ad. STERLING REMEDY Agents Ev( For Cycles, and ' REPUTATION of most perfect Lovell Diamo INSIST ON ? HGENTS in nearly every City their superiority. If no age PggBg* CPECIAL--A larg ^ hand wh SEND FOR SE' BICYCLE CAI We have the largest lino of Bic sium Suits and Athletic Goods of and we'll send you full inform?t] JOHN P. LOVELL ARMS I Headquarters for Cuns, Rifles and Sporting Goods c t&~ SEND FOR OUR LARC ?00 inGoid Givi W ho can form thc cr ca test number of word the word "INDEFENDHNI Von can make ton or more words, w? feel snre, be well repaid. Do net ase any letter more times thai Use nc UingunTo except Kngllsh. 'Words spelled i nn-anuics ran ben vj but once. .Cse an? standard noam, verbs, adverbs, prefixes and suffixes, adject lowed. Anything that la legitimate will Le allowed, out in this manner: In, deep, dent, net. nine, etc.: n words in your list. The publishers of The Sunny So pay {20.00 In gol.1 to tho person who mnk? s the lan:?i words from thc letters In the word IN DOPENDEM for tho second, f 10.00 for the third, ?10.00 for ihofourt! for the lifth, and $-?.00 each for the next eight lara The above rewards are given free and without eonsk for the purpose of attracting attention totheSoutt Illustrated fliuiiiy and literary wee ;ly. lt is twelv pages, seventy-two columns each issue; all original w.th the vcr;- best lons and short stories, la additi? numerous departments, such ns "Woman's Page,' dren's Page," "Blue and Oray Page" ana a paje i to "Southern Industries," etc. To enter this cont? necessary for vou to send 50 cents for a three mont scriptum with your list of words, and every person 60 cents and a list of ten words or more, is gua an extra present bv return mai! fin addition toTiJK POI:TH> of a 152 page book. "The Other Man's Wifi or, we will send you "The Story of an African Farm which book you desire. Satisfaction guaranteed In c cent at once. THIS CONTEST WIEL CLOSE cesaful contestants will bo printed In the Joly 2Uh U NOTE-For 75 cents we wiUsond you THKSL'N> r-ord cmtrst, 6end you your choice ot tho books offc ' paid, oar beaut!: Inches, sixty-fou the Holy Land, paper portfolio simile of Hoffmi pictures con tal i productions t through < b miracles, thopli Cxlon.andthc : : Largest List.$20 Second.810 Third ....S10 Fourth.S10 Fifth._._S10 Next S largest ench.S 3 appear today; it should bc in every household. Addr ff of Hires Rootbeer on a sweltering hot day is highlv essen tial to comfort and health. It cools the blood, reduces your temperature, tones thc stomach. Rootbeer should bc in every home, in every office, in every work shop. A temperance drink, more health ful than ice water, more delightful and satisfying than any other beverage pro duced. Made onlr hr die Charle. T.. | Rlrei Co.. Philadelphia. A park an. make? 6 tallou.. Sold Sf? cr j ?here. DRUNKARDS SAVED. The craving for drink is a dlseit'c. a marvellous enre for which has been discovered called "Anti Jag '* which makes the inebria'o leso au taste- for strung drink without knowing why. as lt can be ci? en seere'ly in tea, coffee, soup and the 1'ke. If "Aiti-Jag" is not kept by your druggist send one di.Uar to the Kenova Chemical Co., 66 Brcad wav, New York, and lt will be sent postpaid, in plain wrapper, with full directions how to give Becretly. lafonsarJon uiailcU free. euue MEDICAL DEPARTMENT, J Tulane University of Louisiana. Its advantages for practical instruction, both !n ampio laboratories and abundant hospital materials aro unequalled. Free access ls given :o tho great Charity Hospital with 700 beds nnd 80,000 patients annually. Special Instruc tion is given dnily at the brsldo of tho sick. The next session begins October 14th, 1807. For ..nial? gue and Information address: Prof. S. K. CH AILLK, M. I)., Dean. OTP. O. Drawer S51. NEW ORLEANS, LA, VoT Sue In Actual Business. Itnilroml Fare Paid. Positions Guaranteed. Student* of both <exes admitted daily. No valuations. Average ?ourse three months. Georgia Business College, MACON, (JEORG?A. H A Y~PRESSES ! IMPROVED HUN'J ER FULL CIRCLE "AU Steel" and Wooden (Meei lined/ shipped on trial to reliable parties. HILLY GUARANTEED, tar WRITE foR CATALOGUE AND PH ICES, .tl. ii. LEWIS Leaser, MERIDIAN MACHINE SHOPS Box A ?UEulDlAN, MISS. Prayer and Profanity are all right itt their proper pl.vof, but If yod have Totter or Eczema, or Salt-Rheum, or Ring, worm, better sara your breath and buy "Tettor ine." CO cents a box at drue stores, or by mall from J. T. Shuptilno, Savannah, Ga. Somo novelists pad their tale-like an excited felino. _ , No-To-Bao for Fifty Cents. Over 400,000 cured. Why not let No-To-Bao rep?late or remove your desire for tobacco? Saves money, makes health and manhood. Cure guaranteed. SO cents and #1.00, at all druggists._ A point of order ls sometimes noted for Ita bluntness. _ Hall's Catarrh Curo is a liquid ?nd ls taken Internally, and acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Write for tes timonials, free. Manufactured by F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O. Piso's Curo for Consumption relieves the moat obstinat* couuhs.-Hov. 1>. B?CUMCELLEB, Lex ington, Mo., Feb. 21, '94._ JUST try a lie. box of Cascarots. the finest liver and bowel regulator cvor mode. fc ? HALL'S Vegetable Sicilian HAIR RENEWER Beautifies and restores Gray Hair to its origina! color and vitality ; prevents baldness ; cures itching and dandruff. A fine hair dressing. R. P. Hall & Co.. Props.. Nashua, N.H. Sold by all Druggists. CATHARTIC H6T1PAT10H ALL DRUGGISTS reuse ol'constipation. Casorets arc the Ideal LUM erip or cripe.bnt iwuse easy natural results, ?sum-A CO.. O? ?raso, Montreal. Gan., or New York. tit z ?ry where ! the Lovell " Diamond " tve stake our BUSINESS over 55 years that the wheel yet made is the nd '97 Model. 5EFING TH EAL aud Town. Examination will prove nt in your place, send to us. . e line of Low Priced and Second? eels at unheard of figures. COND HAND LIST. VALOGUE FREE. jycle Sundries, Bicycle and Gymna all kinds. Write us what you want ion. If a dealer, mention it. BO,, 131 Broad St., Boston. Revolvers, Fishing Tackle, ?skates and if Every Description. E ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE. a from th a Imtfamirt :?? and If-yon do you will i it appears in the word. dike bat with different dlc?Iou.irj-. ?Tononca, ives al Work it ac these nth will ?t list of * lo.oo i, $10.00 -it lists, leration i's great e taree matter m to its . "Chll devotcd ?st it IS hs' sub sending ran teed 8?XXY ;," a very fascinating book by John Strange Winten ,'* or "Ucslde the Uonn?e Briar Hu h." Let ns know iverv case or money refunded. The lists should oe JULY 15TII. The names and, addresses ol sue .sue of THESCXXT SOCTU. ry SOUTH for three month?, allow yon to enter above red In the contest, and also send yon free and post lui portfolio, Palestine riiotog-rnplicd, size 11x13* r selected views of picturesque and historic spots In beautifully designed and handsomely bound In heavy covers, illustrated with a map of i'alestlno anda fte? ms famous painting, "A Portrait of Christ." Tte 64 lcd in this volume ure Artnni Fhotocrnphlc Ke if tho localities in the linly Land ma e immortal i Ufo on earth. Showing v/liero (.hrtstpcrformcd His ice of His birth. Baptism. Tr.inafl -uration ?nd Cruel, laces made sacred I y the work of Ul? Apostles aa they ess THE SUNNY SOUTH, Box , Atlanta. Qa? TASTELESS TONIC IS JUST AS COOD FOR ADU LTS. WARRANTED. PRICE 50 cte. GALATIA, ILLS., Nov. 16,1833. Paris Medicine Co., Pt. Ixmls, Mo. Gentlemen:-Wo sold last year, GOO botUes of GROVE'S TASTELESS CHILL TONIC and bnra bought three gross already this year. In all o*r ex perience of lt years, in thc dmg business, hnva never sold an article that gave such universal sol? faction aa your Tonic Yours truly, ABNEY, CAna &CO? Cure Bright's Disease. Diabetes. Stricture, Gleet and all chronic or acute affections of the genito urinary system. Restore weak organs and im part vigor to both body i.nd mind. One box $1.00; three boxes **-.50, by mall. Prepared by HAGGARD SPECIFIC CO., Atlanta, Oa. Wholesale by Lamar & Rankin Drag Co. E MAKE LOANS on . LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES. if you hare a policy in tho New York Life, Equitable Life or Mutual Life and would like to secure n Loan, write us giving number Of your jHiUcy. and wo will bo pleased to quote rates. Address Ttte?ig isfi-American Lorn ?ni Trusten. No. 1? Equitable Building, Atlanta, Ga. in writing to adver ser?. AXCJ7-23 MENTION THIS PAPcRS CUfiCS WrltflL ALI. tlbTf AILS, t Cough Syrup, '.ras?/es Good. Use In Unie So!d bMlnistrtat*. /