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1 m*. 3*333 -3 ft t VOLUME XLIV. . ?..l.M,.?"'l,l'i,?I.M(|?l|Ml(i?,Ml,t1,ll"I,,.i"lt^?,(lM.l-.|lhIWl||HW?^?<^H?m<?^(llIMM,Hu>l,n,ll|MlH<H||<HH|^<,llui|<|l)|H|lNHIrfMi< EDGEFIELD, S. C., OCTOBER % 1879. . >^,..-.>?"I,M,?^,M,?S.M,M?.M.*??."M,<I?,?'U?,?.M??*???",'??,M^^ NUMBER 43. ? THE TITO RUTHS. Enoch Brown was the schoolmaster of the settlement. He was a tall, angular man, very stern in his meanor, exceedingly ex emplary in his conduct and of un doubted courage. The schoolhouse was situated on a little kapll.i? the woods, and a purl ing brook wound its way lazily through the meadows which had been cfcared along its banks hy the set titra. It/was a rude wooden strnc / ture built of lops and rudely and un / comfortably furnished. Archie McCullough, a bright faced boy, quick and intelligent, was the youngest child in the school, and Master Brown's favorite. One beau tiful morning in summer-it was in July, 17G4-to be particular, on the 20th day of the month-he came into the school-room beaming all over with smiles and happy as the da\ was long. Master Brown had already arrived, had swept out the school house, dusted the desks and benches and put everything to rights. " Why you are early, Archie," he said to the child, with a smile, as the young lad entered with his broad brimmed straw hat in his hand and his tiny dinner basket on his aim. '* Yes, sir," the boy answered tim idly but respectfully, '* I always like to get to school early, but some oi the boy s don't want to come to-day I s w one of them in the woods and he said he was going to play hookey." " He must be a bad boy, Archie,"' the master said. ' Who was he ?" " He asked me not to tell, and I said I wouldn't." " It was not a good promise to make, my chili^- Master Brown re plied, " but having made it you must keep it. It is as bad to break your word as to tell a lie." The child hung down his head and was silent. Presently he looked up and running to the door, said :. " Here come the two Ruths." Two little girls entered. Ruth Hall and Ruth Hart by name, sm il ing at Archie and curtseying to Mas ter Brown as they came into the door. They were tiny things, about thc same age both of them, and might have been mistaken for twins but for thc f imiliar manner in which their names Were occupied by their companion, the ** two Ruths." Other children followed coming in one by one and tardy, until nine had as sciubled. With the exception ol fie two RuthB all were boys, and none of them seemed anxious to be gin the duties of the day. 11 Has anybody seen E?k.i Taylor and George Dunstan this morning? ' the master asked. Eden was the biggest boy in the school, being about fifteen years ol agc, and George was a year or two younger. Nobody had seen either ot them but just then they entered the school room together, looking very pale and thoroughly frightened. " We saw Indians in the bushes," Eden exclaimed, gast ing for breath, and George corroborated the alarm ing news. Dime novels were not pub li-hed at that day as at this to excite the imagination of children, so that Brooklyn boys are occasionally found ?wandering in New Jersey in search of Indians, but stories of Indian massacres were often told and the hnnting grounds of the Shawanese savages in the Mitrochtinny moun tains were near enough to Enoch Brown's school for those relentless foes r the whites to put in appear- : ance at any time. ..You must be mistaken, boys," the master argued, remembering that similar stories had often been told by alarmed inhabitants which proved in the end to be without foundation. Take your books and we will proceed with the lessons." A short prayer was made by Mas ter Brown and then the work of the day began. But scarcely were the opening exercises finished when a noise at the door attracted the atten tion of the teacher. Suddenly it was thrown open and three Indians stood on the threshhold. They were doco rated with the war paint of their tribe and their towahawks glittered in the morning sun. They glared into the room and Master Brown saw at a glance that their errand was an errand of death for him and the helpless children under L:s charge. Consternation seized the children who were too much frightened ever to try to escape. But even if thev had tried they could not have sue ceeded, for the long narrow window; cut between two logs were so higl from the floor that the little one? could not have reached them. Hop ing to save their lives even at th? sacrifice of nh own, Master Browi stepped tt the door to trip and aver the impending blow. " Kill me, torture me if you will, he cried in imploring tones, " bu spare the lives of these innocen children." .' Pale face, it cannot be as yo wish," one of the savages answeret .. We came all the way from th mountains where the sun sets to sen yon whet e many of your white brothel have gone by the Red Man's hatche I Why ^fiho?ld we spare the youn I backs ?nd the two hinds there lookin out of ?heir1! great, round eyes ? ] we did as you bid us, before the nex moon is hung in the sky the noise c the white man's gun would he hean in the mountains and there would b tongues to tell who it was that pu the schoolmaster to death. No, vr we must kill all or none." When this speech was finished th Indian sprang into the room willi the others remained outside to guan the door and give timely notice ti the fiend within in case they wer discovered. The contest with th? schoolmaster was soon decided. Thi Indian fiercely attacked him with hi? tomakawk and as Master Brown hac nothing with which to defend himsel but his hands the battle wa?? a ver) unequal one. Ile fought bravely however, and it was not until bott his hands were disabled and his armt broken that the furious savage was able to strike him a fatal blow. Fi nally a blow upon the head failed him to the floor, and while he lay dying the Indian tore the scalp from his skull. The children were almost frantic whiie this bloody scene was enacted and kept running to and fro in their fright, conscious of the fate that im pended over them. Some oak and hickory boughs had been placed in the great chimney a few days before, and although they were already wilt ed and nearly dry, Archie McCul lough succeeded in concealing himself behind them. The two Ruths hud dled together in a corner and vainly hoped to escape the fury of the sav age. "Now, little palefaces," the mon ster exclaim d, when the raas'er lay scalped and dead on the floor, "the Indian will see that you tell no tales out of school, as the white man say.' The little ones were then killed one by one, each being dispatched with a single blow of the tomahawk. When all lay dead or dying, their scalps were town oil' by the savage monster, who went hastily from one to the other fearing discovery before his bloody task was ended. All this time Archie McCullough sat behind the wilted boughs in the chimney, looking in childish wonder at the horrible slaughter of his old school-mates. Thinking his work was finished the Indian turned togo, and in a moment the child would have been ftife'frorn the fate that befell his companions. Unfortunately for Ar chie thc boughs behind which he was hidden ?lid not entirely conceal him, and as the savage gave a last glance at his bloody achievement he per ceived the boy conceak-d in the per ceived the boy concealed in the chim ney cornel-. It would not do to allow the only witness of "?is crimes to es cape, and with maddened fury the savage rushed upon the child. "m, please, don't hurt me." Ar chie implored, but the savage was relentless. A fearful blow laid the child pros trate, and tearing off his scalp also, the Indian left him to die among his dead companions. The savpges departed from the scene of the masacre, and for hours Archie McCullough was left with only the companionship of the dead. Scalped and stunned the child sur vived, but was stone blind. A set 1er happening to come near the schoolroom about noon, and ob serving the unusual quiet at a time when it was to bc expected the chil dren would be at play, waa led to look in at the door. The scene that met his gaze bailies description. Ten lifeless bodies bay stretched upon the floor. Archie McCullough, moaning and crying, was crawling about omong his? dead companions, running his fingers through their hair, and smooth ing his hands over their faces as vf seeking to distinguish them by the tDuch. The man looked in grief and wonder upon the death . scene which met his eyes, and while he looked the child touched in succession the forms of the the two girls. The children were taken up and buried in the same grave with Master Bi own, and the whole neighborhood participated in their obsequies. There was a vacant place at ten hearth stones, fbr each of the murdered scholars belonged to different fami lies. Although more than a hundred 1 years hav J elapsed since the massa cre, the story is told in the neighbor hood of what is known as Brown's School-house to this day, as the most noteworthy tradition of the locality, and it certainly is one of the most terrible episodes of Indian maraud ing on the early frontier. jj Archie McCullough lived to be ar : old old man, but bis sight never re turned, and the bright intelligence ol ,, his childhood had departed forever A mumbling imbecile he would ofter, try to describe the terrible seem which had crazed his brain, and t< the last day of his life he would moai rt j and cry over the fate of j the twi !. Ruths." d All the t l ithea Adam had for a lon? .a time was the close of day ; while tin t. mantle of night was his bedclothes GEN, GRANT'S WELCOME HOME. SAN FRANCISCO, September 21. Upon the arrival of the steamer City of lohio &'i her wharf last eve ning Gen. Grant was received by the Governor and staff, the city officials and executive "committee, and was welcomed by Mayor Bryant in a brief speech. He then took a'car riage and drove to the Palace Hotel at the head of an immense procession and accompanied by great crowds. BonfireflJbLazed at the street corners; every window was illuminated, and the glare of "'Roman candles and.elec tee lights made the broad thorough fares bripht as day. Under a cor tinuous archway" of flags, banners, festoons and draperies, the proces sion moved up Market street to Mont gomery, and turnad down the latter street. Crowds blocked the side walks, cheer after cheer rolled along the whole line of march, and almest drowned the martial strains of the numerous bands. Broad ensigns toss ed in the night winds, glaring with the light of fires, rockets and fire balls. A light mist hovering over the c.ty reilected the light of the fireworks and illuminations until the heavens seemed ablaze. Not only the streets on the line of march but the cross streets between Market Btreet and Montgomery avenue were brilliant with decorations. Even the Chinese quarterseemed to have caught the infection, and from hundreds of staffs great dragon flags flaunted their fantastic blazonry beside the stars and stripes. Continuing its march the procession moved through Mont gomery avenue to Kearney street. Here, if possible, the crowds were still more dense and enthusiastic, and the display of fireworks, electric lights, lime lighr, and every conceiv able means of illumination increased the brilliancy. On its arrival at Mar ket street the procession, after mov ing up a few blocks, counter-marched to the Palace Hotel. Here a magni ficent arch, forty-feet in height, spann ed New Montgomery street, blazoned with the national colors and bearing the inscription, "Welcome to Grant!" At this point the carriage contain ing the General was drawn up, while the procession 'marched in review, cheer after cheer randing the air as division after division passed by. On the conclusion of the review the va rious organizations were dismissed, and Gen. Grant was conducted to his quarters in the Palace Hotel, which had been sA ecially prepared and fur nished for his reception. THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD. To me the grandest poem on earth is night in a deep, half tropical for est. There is nothing so mighty, so Miltonic as thia, the myriads voice at night. When I was living in the Southern Sierras one of your great, est preachers came that way. I by chance got talking to him of the voices and noises high up on the mountains. He was honestly amaz ed. He said he thought the world slept in the wilderness ; but he would find the world very much awake if he would spend a night high up from the habitations of man. He was re solved to see. And BO, with two blankets and two pistols, some bread and a hollie of provisions, we climb ed up the steep, timbered mountain, a mile above any habitation. We spread our blankets under a mighty tree. We saw the day fade and die on the far snow peaks, and its ghost came down in darkness and covered us with its wings. The first thing we heard was a great, black bug that came buzzing along. It struck the tree and fell down on the doctor's blanket. Nothing dangerous in a bug. The doctor was delighted. He caught it up; classified it with a Latin name big enough to kill it; put a pin through it and resolved to keep it as a specimen and trophy of the night. Suddenly, far across on the other mountain side, there arose the howl of 100 wolves; then 1,000 wolves high upon the mountain top made the woods tremble. The doc tor was not a bit frightened. He on ly sat up a little closer to me and whispered gently that he thought it was going to rain. Then a broad winged bird, a black owl, struck in the boughs above tn, as if he meant to tear down the tree. " I am sub ject to rheumatism," said the doctor, "and I don't want to get wet." Then there came a crash ! A great grizzly bear that evidently had business in somebody's hog-pen, tore through the bush and woods on his way to the settlement. Possibly the doctoi wanted the bear for a specimen also for he sprang up. forgot his bug, and started for the nearest house. He should have waited to see the moor come wheeling up and out of tin Sierras, white and vast as the snov peaks she lari her broad, bare shout ders to the white clouds ; to hear th? far, faint call of the nightbirda, the beasts-the thousand notes ir thi poetry ?nd song of nature at night -Independent. Why was Goliah very mn??li sm prised when David slung the Btone t him? Becuuse such a thing nev? entered his bead before. THE HINDOO WOMEN. The Hindoo wemen, when young, are delicate and beautiful, so far as we can reconcile beauty with the ol ive complexion. They are finely pro portioned ; theil limbs small, their features soft and regular, and their eyes birch and languishing; but the bloom of beauty soon decays, a'hd age makes rapid progress before they have seen thirty years. This may be accounted for from the heat of the climate and the customs of the coun-' try, as they are often mothers at twelve years of age. No woman can be more attentive to cleanliness than thc Hindoos; they take every method to render their persons delicate, soft and attractive ; their dress is peculiarly becoming, consisting of a long piece of Bilk, or cotton, tied round the waist, or hang ing in a graceful manner to the feet ; it is afterward brought over the body in negligent folds; under this they cover the bosom with a short waist coat of satin, but wear no linen. Their long black hair is adorned with jew els and wreaths of flowers ; their ears are bored in many places, and loaded with pearls; a variety of gold chains, strings of pearls and precious stones, fall from the neck over the bosom, and the arms are covered with brace lets from the wrist to the elbow They have also gold and silver chains round the ankles, and an abundance of rings on their fingers and toes; among those on the fingers is frequently a small mirror. I think the richer the dress the les? becoming it appears, and a Hindoo woman of distinction always seems to be overloaded with finery* while the village nymphs, with fewer ornaments, but in the same ele-' gant drapery, are more captivating although there are very few wo men, even of the lowest families, who have not some jewels at their marriage. In these external decorations con sists the pride and pleasure of these uninstructed lemales; for very few, even in the best of families, know how to read or write, or are capable of intellectual enjoyment. We learn from Homer that the women in an cient Greece always kept in a retired part ol' the house, employed in em broidery or other feminine occupa tions ; ami at this day the Indian fir males are never feen by those-jTSho visit the master of the family. ^?Jm know but little of the world, Mimi are not permitted to eat with their husband or brother, nor 1o associate with oilier meu. THE OBJECTS OP STIIHt. The duties of the teacher are terse ly set forth in the New York School Journal aa follows : His business is to develop, discipline and train the powers by which knowledge is gain ed ; besides, in performing this work he will lodge in a spctire'and usable form all the useful knowledge | ossi ble. He will make as bis great lead ing object the training of the mind; he will next direct the pupil's atten tion to his own mental processes, to show him when he thinks accurately; this is sometimes called teaching to tidhh; he will teach the pulpit to arrange and classify his knowledge; he will teach the pupil to give good expression to his knowledge. These being the objects the teacher aims at, he requires study in order that he may secure these objects ; they may be set down as the objects of study. And if a person has no teacher, he still needs all of the above effects, and to produce them he uses study. It is plain, then, that study is the in dispensable means to be employed to obtain education. A LESSON FOR SCAN I) At MON GERS. Scandal mongers can learn a lesson from the story told the old woman who freely used her tongue to the scandal of others and made a con fession to the priest of what she had done. He gave her a ripe fbit-tie top and t??ld her to go in various direc tions to scatter the seed one by one. Wondering at the penance, she obey ed ami then returned and told her confessor. To her amazement he told her to go back and gather the scat tered seed ; and when she objected that it would be impossible; he re plied that it would be more difficult to gather np and destroy all the evi reports she had circulated about otb ers. Any thoughtless, careless chili can scatter a handful ol' thistle seedi before the wind in a moment, but thi strongest and the wisest men cannot gillier them again. So the slandere may scatter seeds of discord that n< effort can remove, and the grave cai scarcely cover. -< II?>II . A hungry printer is not apt t criticise the typographical appeal anees of a bill of ?are.-New Yor News. Especially if he is setisfie with the inside matter.- ' ttxnfor Adv?cale. But he frequently foiu an opinion of the pi ; an avertie j which needs no proof.- Genna And li? gobbles all the fat he ca get.-Monthly Union. And he flticfc solid to the mle that the devil shoul "take the leau. -Darlington News. A WOMAN'S TRUE LIFE, To most women how rarely occurs the opportunity of accomplishing ? greed things, and making great con quests, as the on look'! g world esti ^t&aetB gieatne83. Lat in every -rela jtion of life, and in almost every day's vf.nd hour's experience, there are laid in her pathway litte crosses to take up and bear, little lessons to learn of ex pt. ience and forbearance, tittle sacri fices which may seem as nothing to the'tooker on, but which, from pecu liarly of temperament, may in reali ty be costly ones ; lillie victories over nameless developments of selfishness ; the culture of many a little hope and feeling and principle, and suppression of many desires, repinings, or exac tions, which makes the feeble woman sometimes greater and stronger, in the eyes of Him who looks into the soul's innermost recesses, than the great warfare of thia probationary lifermu8t be a warfare known bast by its'result-the enemies they would vanquish meet them in the little hidden nooks of every-day life, and the victories they gain in the warfare are recorded not on the scroll of earthly fame, but by watching angels in God's book on high. Then how greatly important is each day's result in this discipline of domestic life, if here it is we are to achieve holy victories, and then to receive the plaudit, u Well done!" or at laat to find inscribed upon our course, " Defeat-failure-irretrieva ble loss." No woman can be a lady who would wound or mortify another. No mas ter how beautiful, how refined, how cultivated she may be, she is in reality coarse, and the innate vulgarity of her nature manifests itself here. Uniformly kind, courte ous, and polite treatment of all per sons, is one mark of a true woman. TIIK PIUTES SCARE THE PAS SENGERS. The citizens of Winnemuca were treated to a novel eight yesterday af ternoon. About the time the passen ger train from the East was due a detachment of Winnemucca'a war riors, accompanied by the old chief and some 200 members of the tribe, m-Tched from their camping west of the river to the depot. The warri on carried the s?ars and stripes and -TCHQ of truce at fife head of v^>. col umn. They wore the regulation un iform, which consist of a breech cloth and a few feathers. Their na ked bodies, arms, legs and faces were painted in colors, yellow, red and black predominating. The hacks and breasts of the muscular savages were striped like zebras, and their faces were as hideous as paint and Pinte ?rt could make them. At the depot Eastern passengers, many of whom uever saw an Indian, were as tonished vt this strange sight, and many of the men as well as the wo men showed unmistakable symptoms of fear. The warriors who were pick el men of the tribe, wheeled in the street south of the express office and relumed to the camp, where they danced the war dance until complete ly exhausted.-Silver Slate. K ni RIO IIS ECHO. A few days ago two gentlemen had occasfon to take a sk i fl' at Morgan City to row across Atchafalya Bay to Berwick, on the opposite side, about twilight. After reaching the shore at the point where the ferry boat Porter lands, they had occasion to call back to Morgan City for a friend who had been left behind. The dis tance across is less than half a mile, and the human voice can easily reach it. A prolonged call was made, and the-parties listened for a response. In about fifteen seconds, to their sur prise the same call came back, with all thc peculiar inflexions of voice that were given iii the call. Think ing that some one was the other side, the party recited verses in Italian, Latin and Spanish, after a delay they came back, the echo repeating as many as twenty words distinctly, Uulike most echoes, this of Morgan City repeats whole sentences and hoi the least diminished hy reverberation It baa already become a r.ovelty foi the denizens of those paita.-N. O Picayune. DON'T FRET. One fretter can destroy the peac of a lamily, can dostroy the harmon; of neighborhoods, can unsettle th councils of cities and hinder the leg islation of nations. He who frets i never the one who mends, who heall who repairs evil ; more, he discoui ages, and too often disables thoe around him, who, but for the glooi and depression of his company, woul do good work and keep up brav cheer. The effect upon a sensitiv person in the mere neighborhood of fretter is indescribable. It is to tb soul what a cold, icy mist is to tl body-more chilling than the bitte est storm. And when the fretter one who is beloved, then the mis ry of it becomes indeed insnpport ble. ! BALK? HORSES. A society for the prevention of elty to animals recommends th* lowing rules for the treatrneo balky horses : 1; Pat the hoive on the neck, amine the harneas carefully, fm one side then ?n the other, spea encouragingly while doing so ; jump into the wagon and give word go; generally he will obey. 2. A teamster in Maine says can start the worst balky horse taking him ont of the shafts making him go round in a circle, the first dance of this kind' doe cure him, the second one will be J to do it. 3. To cure a balky horse, sim place your hand over the hor nose and shut off the wind he wants to go, and then let 1 go 4. The brains of horses seem entertain but one idea at a til thus continued whipping only c firms bis stubborn resolve. If ; can by any means give him a r subject to think of, you will have trouble in starting him. A sim remedy is to take a couple of tu of stout twine around the fore 1 just below the knee, and tie in a b( knot. At the first check he will dancing off, and, after going a sh distance, you can get out and reto< the string to prevent injury to tendon in your further drive. INTERESTIN^SUE?VT?F?^FAC Air is about 81G times lighter th common water. Water, when converted into stea increases in bulk 18,000 times. One hundred pounds of Dead ? water ron tai ns [forty-six pounds salt. I The pressure of the atmosphe upon every Rquare foot of the cai amounts to 4,100 pounds. An ordinary sized man, supposi his surface to be fourteen Bquare fei sustains che enormous pressure 30,340 pounds. Heat rarifies air to such an ex te that it can be made to occupy 5,Gl times the space it did before. During the conversion of ice in water, 140 degrees of heat are a sorbed. The mean annual depth of ra that falls at the equator is ninety-s inches. - The explosive force of close co fined gunpowder is six and a hs tons to the square inch. The greatest artificial cold ev produced is ninety-one degrees Fal renheit. The violence of the expansion i water when freezing is sufficient 1 cleave a globe of copper of sue thickness as to require a force i 23,000 pounds to produce like effec Water obstructs one half of ? perpendicular rays of the sun i seventeen feet and three fourths i thirty-four feet, and less than ono thousandth part reaches the depth ( 200 feet; hence the bottom of dee water is in total darkness. GARDEN HISTORY. Oats originated in ^)rth Africa. The citron is a native of Greece. The nettle is a native of Europe. The poppy originated in the Easl Rye Clime originally from BiVjoi'if The parsnip is a native of Arabu The sunflower was brought fror Peru. Parsley was first known in Sardinia The pear and apple are from Eu rope. Spinach was first cultivated ii Arabia. The mulberry tree oiiginated ii Persia. The hone chestnut is a native c Thibet. The cucumber came from the Eas Indies. The radish isa native of China am Japan. The garden cress is from Egypt an < the East. Peare are supposed to be of Egyp ' tian orgin. Hemp ir- a native of Persia and th East Ind:-s. Horse r dish came from the Sou tl of Europe. ' Barley was found in the mountain of Himalaya. The coriander grows wild near th Mediterranean. Lord Beaconsfield is described ai 8 remarkably careful in his dressy al f though he no longer appears in em e broidered Wi tcoats, festoons of.gold ;. chaiuH, silk hued coatsand light trou 8 sers. He goes now to the House o Commons mornings quietly dresse '* in a frock coat, a black necktie ail ie a pair ot bronze colored trousers n But when he takes his walks abro.u: d he dons a wonderful light ovetcoat e with trousers a shade darker, a bim 'e neck-tie, and when the east wine a blows, a light silk handkerchief loose ie ly tied round the throat. In strang* ie contrast to the white silk are th? r- sunken, wrinkled cheeks, and tb is dead, unmoved expression. His fae? e- shows age, but from a back viev ft* that cunningly cut overcoat \von!< seem to surround a man of forty. THE LANGUAGE OF POSTAGE STAMPS. The language of poscage stamps, instead of flowers, has just been in vented. Thus, when a postage stamp is placed upside down on the left corner of the envelope it means "I love you ;" in the same, crosswise, ' fl^?ieart is another's;" straight up a ^^r*;/;*. " Good-bye, sweetheart, goodbye ;" upside down, in th? right hand corner, " Write no more ;" in the centre at the top, "Yee ;*' oppo site at the bottom, "No;" on the right hand corner at a right angle, "Do you love me ?" in the left hand corner, " I hate you ;" top corner on the right, "I wish your friendship ;" bottom corner on the left, " I seek your acquaintance ;" on a line with the surname, "Accept my love ;" the same upside down, " I am engaged;" at a right angle in the same place, " I long to see you ;" in the middle at the right hand edge, "Write me immediately. ' The loy stood on the backyard fence, whence all but him had fled, the flames that lit his fathers s barn shone just above the shed. One bunch of crackers in his hand, two others in his hat, with piteous accents loud he cried, "I never thought of that !" A bunch ol crackers to the tail of one Bmall dog he'd tied; the dog in an guish sought the barn and 'mid its ruins died. The sparks flew wide and red and hot, they lit upon that brat ; they fired the crackers in his hand and eke those in his hat. Then came a burst of rattling sound-the boy ! Where was he gone? Ask of the winds that far around strewed bits of meat and bone, and scraps of clothes and balls,' and'"tops and nails and hooks and yarn, the relics of the dreadful boy that burned his father's barn.-S/n ino field Union. CASTOR OIL. She had her mind^made up two or three davs that her boy needed some castor oil, but she knew she must ap proach him gently. She placed the bottle where he could see it, and when he turned ap his nose she said : "It's just like honey, my darling." He seemed to doubt her word, and she continued : " If you'll take Rome I'll let you go to the circns.^ _ "How much?" he cautiously in quired. "Oh, only a spoonful-juat one spoonful," she replied, as she uncork ed the bottle. 11 And you'll give rae some sugar besides?" he asked. "Of course I will-a big lump." He waited until she began pouring from the bottle, and then asked : "And you'll give me ten cents, too?" " Yes, of course." " And you'll buy me a shoo fly kite?" he went on, seeing his ad vantage. " I guess so." "Nokite.no ile," he said, as he drew back. "Well, I'll buy you the kite," she replied, filling the spoon clear up. " And a velocipede ?" "I'll think of it." . " You can't think no castor-oil ( down me !" he exclaimed, looking around for his hat. " Here-I will, or I'll tease father to and I know he will. Come, now, swallow it down." " Aud you'll buy me a goat?" " iTes." " And two hundred marbles?" " Yes. Now take it right down." " And a coach dog?" " I can't promise that." " AU righ t ; no dog, no ile." " Well, I'll ask your father." " And you'll buy me a pony?" " Oh, I couldn't do that. Now be a good boy and swallow it down." "Oh, yes, I'll swallow that stuff, I will!" he said, as he clapped on his hat. "You may fool some other boy with a circus ticket and a lump of brown sugar, but it'll take a hundred dollar pony to trot that castor ile down my th rot." And he went ont to see if the neighbor's cat had been caught in the il ead fall lie set for her. Advertising Cheats. It has become so common to write the beginning ol' an elegant, Interesting article ami then mn it into some adver tisement that we avoid all such cheats and simply call attention to the merits of Hop Bitters in as plain honest terms as possible, to induce people to give them one trial, as no one who knows their value will ever use anything else. The new postmaster at Blackville, S. C., has tacked the following notice on the post office door : " Post Office. Any one that wants to mail letters can sleep them under the door othei convenients will bc made to-morrow.' A little girl about four yeers ole and a little boy about s x had beer cautioned not to take away the nes' egg ; but one morning when the} went for the egg the little girl tool it and started for the house Her disappointed brother followed " Mother, mother, Susey's got th egg the old hen measures by." WIT AND HUMOR. A chicken hawk is the bird to raise chickens. - Does a standing joke ever require 1 a seat ? The chief aim of woman is to. mle her husband. A full hand-hired mun on-a drunk. Nothing ?y lu^??--:rVx -ihe muscle : as sweet toil. The Rome Sentenalthinkt a healthy \ Indian is a well red man. - Even the moon keeps late boujs when it is full. The glory of a woman is the last word. The dentist makes almost as much money per acher as the tanner. A New York restaurant advertises to sell 'a schooner of milk' for four cents*.- ?: A recent African .explorer writes Of ants onV inch Song. They must be gt-ants. So close is the sympathy between^ night and day that after one falls the 3ther breaks. A wag who had lent a minister.^ horse that had runaway and thrown : the clergyman, claimed credit tor. spreading the gospel. A fello? feeling makes us wondrous kind, but a fellow feeling *7or our: pocket-book makes us wondrous' mad. v When you go in search for a wife, look at her feet^and then there is an old adage that says : "All's well that ends well." ... S :iiv?i No matter how bad and destruc tive a boy may be, he never becomes so degraded or loses" his self-respect sufficiently as to throw mod on a circus poster. The melancholy days have come, when the nights are cool, and the warm sun by day wilts the physical', man. The cricket chirps in the grass-lot now, but he will soon be hunting the chimney corner. A lady writes to a Western news paper that "the girl who keeps lier sweet temper and good looks up-' to twenty-five is apt to retain them to old age." Advice to the young-Eat oysters, only in th2 months that, have an V in their their names and drink whis key only in the months that have a 'k' in their names. When this Government decides to strike off another new dollar we shall be on hand to suggest that the owl has bees treated^most shabbily in the matter of portraits. "Can there he] happiness where, there is no love?" solemnly querries an author in a book on marriage. Not-much happiness, perhaps; but if the girl is awfully rich, there can, be lots of fun. "Don't be an editor,', is the head ing of a paragraph going the rounds of the press-and a number of men around various newspaper offices are following lae advice with indefatiga ble energy. When a basket of eggs is left on ? stairway it is difficult to decide who feels the worst about it, the man who left them there or the man in lav ender trousers and low shoes wl.o found theta:. A gentleman who suffered nanci from palpitation of the heart, says he was instantly relieved by apply - ing another palpitating heart to the region affected. A GOOD LIVER Is always known by his appearance. A man who lives comfortably at home, has good dinners, etc., will always show it in his person. But there is another liver more important to man-it is tho bml liver-the liver that should regulate the whole system. If that is out ol' lix, man is good for nothing-can enjoy nothing to restore it to health, use Dr. Gilder's Liver Pills. A few doses will relieve you. A gray hair was espied among the raven locks of a charming young la dy. "Oh, pray, pull it out," she ex claimed. "If I pull it out ten more will come to the funeral, 'replied the one who made the unwelcome discov ery. 'Pluck it out, nevertheless,' said the dark-haired damsel; 'it's no con sequence now many come to the funeral, provided they all come in black.' S*id old Mr. Wiseowl : " There is a passage of scripture, brutherin, that's impressed me very much ; I've thought on it, and thought on it, and thought on it, and. I'mialluz thinking on it. I disremember jept whar it is, and ez fur that matter,-jest what it is, but you carn't tell how much ii / a sollis it is to me on my journey through this vale of tears." Supposing, Charley,. you were at a ma?querad6 ball, would you dance with an unknown lady if she re quested it ? Said Charley : " If she is masked and I am asked, why shouldn't I?" A Losing Joke. A prominent physician of Pittsburgh said jokingly to a lady patient who was complaining of her continued ill health, and of his inabili y tb cure her, ''try Hop Bitters !" The lady took it in ear nest and used the Bitters, from which she obtained permanent health. Sheuow laughs at the doctor for his joke but ho is not so well pleased with it, as it cost him a.good patient.