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THE HO^KY NEWS, I*l: BI/IHll El? livery Tuesday T. W. BEATY, Editor'.' Tl'iKMN t O.V* "^UAR, $2.00 Six $1.00 411 roinmnnicntloiiM tcndliiKto worv<' privnto intcreiil, wMI toe chnrgeil lor ?* n?l vertlweiiieutH. THE FAVOEITE HOME KEMEE7 This unrivalled Medicine is warranted not to contain a single particle of Mercury or any injurious mineral substance but is 1*1 J St E L? V E U ET A 611, E, containing those Southern Roots and Herbs, which an all wise Providence has placed in countiics where Liver Diseases most prevail. It will cure all Diseases caused by Derangement of the Liver and Ilowols. Simmons'Liver Regulator, or Medicine s eminently a Family Medicine,?and by being kept ready for immediate resort will save many an hour of suffering and many a dollar in time and doctors' bills. Alter over Forty Years' trial it is still receiving the most unqualified testimonials to its virtues from persons of the highest cliarae ter and responsibility. Lininent physieaus coimncnd it as the most EFFECTUAL SPECIFC For Dyspepsia or Indigestion. Armed with this ANT1 DOTH, all climates and changes ot water unit tood may be faced without fear. Asa Remedy in Mai.auiouk FkV K US, lioWKI, CoMl'LAl.ViS, I lltSTl.KSSN KSS, J A (XIUCK, N A I'KJC A, ST HAS NO EQUAL. it is the Cheapest and Rest Family Medicine in the World ! MAXr KAi'Tl'liHI) OXI.V HV j. IB. xkli:? &, < o., MACON, GA., and Fill LA DFLl'Hl a Frice, $1.00. Sold hy all Druggist. OLD LONDON DOCK GEN. Especially designcdTor the use id the Medical J'rofesxion and the. Latnih/, possessing those intrinxic medicinal propeities which belong to an Old and I'ltrc din. IndisjHiusable to females, flood for Kidney Complaint*. A delicious Tonie. 1'ut up in cases containing one dozen bottles eat h, and sold hy all druggists grocers, Ac. A. M. Rininger & Co., established 177^. No. J.7 lieaver Street, New York. V I (TICS ELOllAL GUIDE For 1874. 200 PACKS; 500 K.\(,l!AYIXC.S, ami COLORED PLATE. Fuhlished Quarterly, at 25 Cents a Year. First No. for 1S71 just ssucd. A Gorman edition at same price. Address,.JAMES YICK, Rochester, X. Y. Dee. 2d,?tt. ' I Our /Seventy J'aye Illustrated Catalogue of Doors, Sashes, Blinds Stair Rails, Newels, Fancy Class, &c, Mailed to any one interested in Imildin on receipt of stamp. T BIO 254 atnl 250 Canal Street New York. mi i;r/i ;H s ALMANAC For the Year 1874 rUHLI8IIK!> FOB IJOEKY OC)UNTY. 371or sale at 11) cents each hy 4 M. l< BEtypY: I)cc 01810 "TO-DAY," ~~ THE PEOPLE'S ILLUSTRATED PAPER It is a thoroughly American enterprise, illus trated t,y the leading artist and teeming witli the best cflorte of the most able writers of our country. It is a paper that, once introduced > in the family circle, is sure to be eagerly watched tor and carefully preserved. The 1 oicc of THREE OF TIIK MOST BEAUTIFUL in it on os Ar?r luiiA/1 la otvAn rw no/ili onk?n.lK/.? w * VP IM wv/ V >?VII OUUOVIIUCIj Vl/i | "Just So IXiou" and "Little Sunshine, vAwo beautiful Child Pictures, by Mrs Andeh son, and "Among the Dewdkops," a beauti ful landscape in water-color by the celebrated Birket Foster, All our amenta have cppies of each, and are 1 prepared to deliver them together with a i Subscription Certificate signed by the publish- , ers, at the time the money is paid. Agents wanted everywhere, and liberal inducements offered. Sample copies with full patticulars and descriptions of the Cbromos, sent on re- < ccipt of six cents. Only two Hollar* and a half a year. Ai>l>KKSS, ( To-Day Printing & Publishing Co., 738 Sannorn St., Philadelphia. , SI Broadway. N. T. 3 School St., Boston , 113,116 6 117 B. Madison St, Chicago. ' I ' I, " XX 01 VOL. 0. CON Professor Proctor's Idea. In his last lecture in this country, Prof. Procter gave his idea of Deity deduced from astronomy. "We come, he said, uto the conception that there is in the universe, quite fin.'ivt. from nil Lloac of (lo.l inlinitn power. Wo have been led then from the thought of infinite occupied space, to the thought of infinite time occupied by events, and now lothe thought of infinite power; and yet all these ideas are utterly beyound our powers of conception. Why, then, dismiss the idea oi a Cod merely hecause lie is beyond our powers of conception? The matnalist is right when he says this or that doctrine is inconceivable, but lie is wrong when he says I will not admit it; the idea of space is conceivable that sve must admit; the idea ol infinite power is conceivable; but, taking the view that infinite space and infinite time are brought to our knowledge, we must admit the idea of infinite power. ''Why, then, stop short of the idea of infinite wisdom and beneficienee of the design of the Creator merely because* it is inconceivable to us? It seems to ine, then, wc may fairly turn from this to the consideration of the possible attributes of Deity without being disturbed hv the thought that n j o the very notion of the Deity?of a being infinite in existence, infinite in space, infinite in time, infinite in power, is inconceivable to ns. Why, those very attributes that have been ascribed to Deity are the things we have been forced to see. We began with infinity of space, and it is infinity of space we attribute to the Almighty. We are led from that to infinity of time; thence to an infinity of power; and it is by that we are led to the mere physical consideration of the qualities of the universe. Thus, then, naturally we may turn to the thought of possible qualities in the part of Deity aiul the way in which, in some sense, his authority may be exercised over the dominions of the universe. Take for instance, the senses by which we become acquainted with the nature of the universe, and Ictus remember how utterly feeble those senses are; on how narraw a basis we form all our concep tions of the universe. There are five feeble senses; only one of those senses, the sense of sight, brings to us any knowledge of outlying space; and that sense existing only in two small pupils which are to tell us of the universe. We may, indeed, extend the powers of the eyesight by means of trie telescope, but then we, in point of fact, fl do not use the. wnvd in no ... w ? ? v? <? m m m J VUV> J J PVU < V1 ' through a glass darkly, because we have only a small part, a small portion of the heavens brought out into view ; and it is only by combining the views thus formed, combing them in the imagination, that we can form an estimate of the real wondeis which appear; so wc can imagine what might be seen if the power of the eye was increased to that of the largest telescope, and we can conceive what would be seen if the power of the eye were increased a million fold beyond that of the largest telescope; the wonderful displays of the dark clouds ^nd masses of matter gathering in various portions of space, the power of recognizing their motions as the telescope enable the Astronomer to do, learning the harmony existing in their motions. That is something the feeble sense of Right only adcq^lely extended might bring before us." When the celebrated French chemist Orfild was on one occasion a witness at a trial for poisoning, ho was asked by the president if he could stale the quantity of arsenic requisite to kill a fly? "Certainly M. le President," replied the expert; "but I must first know before-hand tho ago of the fly, its sex, its temperament, ist condition and habit of body, whether married or single, widow or maiden, widower or batchelor." A quarrelsome couple were discussing the subject of epitaphs and tombstones, and the husband said, "My dear, what kind of a stone do you suppose they will give me when I die?" "Brimstone, my love," was the affectionate reply. I thought you were born on the 1st of April, said a husband to his lovely wife, who had mentioned the 21st as her birthday, "Most people would think so from the choice l made of a husband," she replied. iRY J\. 11 'Indepen WAYBORO, S. C., TU. THE LAWS OP TIIE STATE. Acts and Joint Resolutions Passod by tho General Assembly of South Car olina, at the Session of 1373?*74[i] An Acl to Regulate the Fees ot Probate Judges, Clerks of Courts, Trial Justices, and other Oflioers herein Mentioned. lie it enacted l>y the Senate and House of Representatives of tho State of South Carolina, now met and sitting in General Assembly, and by the authority of the same: Sue. 1. That the fees which Probate Judges, Clerks of Courts, Trial Justices, and other oflieers herein mentioned, shall be authorized to receive, in the several eases herein specified, shall be as follows: Sec. 2. Judges of Probate?for potion for letters, <fce., one dollar; lor citation, fifty cents; qualifying executor, administrator or guardian, and issuing letters to same, two dollars; taking bond of administrator or guardian, one dollar; issuing warrant of appraisinent, liltv cents; proving will in common form, one dollar; proving will in solemn form, live dollars; filing and entering the renunciation of executor, one dollar; dedimns potestutum to prove will or qualify executor, two dollars; receiving examining and filing annual returns, one dollar and fifty cents; for first and final returns, each three dollars; order for sale of personal property, one dollar; hearing and filing petition for guardians, and appointment, two dollars; entering caveat and wit Iwl inwincr snrnc nno di?lbir- for hearing litigated case, tlims dollars, and twcnlv-live cents additional for ^ eaoli witness examined; issuing suiniiiuiis for each witness, thirty cents; for issuing rule against defaulting witness, or parly lading to account, two dollars; for every attachment issued on return ol such rule, one dollar; (or certifying papers and furnishing proceedings iu ease of appeal, three dollars; for proceedings in partition o'' real estate, live dollars, and fifty cents additional on every hundred dollars or fractional part thereof, for which the land may he sold, or, in ease ol partition in kind, for which it may he assessed: Provided\ That in no case shall the lees and allowances so received aggiegate more than lwen ty-five dollars: A ad, providedfurther, That iu ease of partition in kind, no commission shall he charged; lor appointing guardian ad litem, three dollars; commission on all moneys received and paid out, two per cent, on the first three hundred dollars, and one per cent, on all sums over that amount; for search for each paper, fifteen cents; for certificate and seal, lifiy cents; for final discharge of executor, administrator or guardian, two dollars; for proceedings in dower, inclusive of all charges, fifteen dollars; for proceedings in lunacy, inclusive, live dollars; for recording all papers proper to he recorded, or furnishing copy of any paper in his office, per eonv sheet of one hundred words mu-.h figure counting one word, fifteen cents, lor proceedings and services setting off home stead, including title, five dollars. tSico. 3. Clerks of Court,--For the trial of every case, two dollars; for filing papers, twenty-five cents; for entering jugment, fifty cents; for signing and sealing sub writ, fifty cents; for administering oaths, twenty-five cents; for taking and filing bonds in attachment and other cases, one dollar; lor signing and sealing commission to examine witnesses, one dollar; for recording plats under order of Court, one dollar; for rule of suivey, filty cents; for each official certificate under seal, fifty cents; for issuing attachment for contempt or other special *vrit, one dollar; for signing and sealling writ of habere facias possessionem t fifty cents; for receiving and paying over money officially, under three hundred dollars, two per cent.; over that amount, one per cent.; on bill, nolle prosequi \Lie fore given out, one dollar; on bill thrown out. hy Grand Jury, or found and nolle prosequi abated, discontinued or struck off, two dollars; on bill found and verdict hy j>etit jury, three dollars; issuing bench warrants, one dollar and fifty cents; issuing each execution in sessions, one dollur and fifty cents; signing and sealing writ of habeas corpus, one dollar and fifty cents; issuing warrants or taking recognizance, or other services in the sessions the same fees allowed Trial Justices; each writ of venire faciast including all services incident to summoning jurors, two dollars and fifty cents; preparing and issuing certificates for grand and petit jurors and constables, and furnishing return to County Commissioners for each week of every term "of Court, five dollars; furnishing advertisement in case of escheat, exclusive of printer's bill, three dollars; for advertising and giving notice to Managers of Elections, six dollars; for license to an attorney, all incidental services included, five dollars; filing, recording and entering notice ol alien's intention to become u 'citizen, oue dollars; filing report of1 -V* r.. \ > clent Journal. ESDAY, APRIL 28, 1 alien, one dollar; administering oath ot intention, one dollar; tiling and entering application to become a citizen, and administering oath, two dollars; for giving certificate of citizenship, one dollar; for taking renunciation of dower or inheritance, two dollars; lor official record of estray, and (lllfllf tl'llwM'U /\n A UO!l lU'll ......i, \MIU UV'llillj II * CI J for a paper, tilt ecu cents; every search, with certificate, fifty cents; swearing Trial Justice or constable in office, ami certificate and taking bond, one dollar and fifty cents; recording the bonds of county officers and certifying to same, one dollar and fifty cents; for every probate, in writing, twentylive cents; for signing dediitius potcsUitciriy two dollars; for copying papers, per copy sheet of one hundred words, each figure counting a word, fifteen cents; for signing and sealing each execution and removal, fifty cents; (or copying and recording deeds, mortgages and other papers, per copy sheet of one hundred words, each figure counting a word, fifteen cents; for every certificate on deeds or other papers, twenty five cents; on every appeal from lVial J ustices, all services included, two dollars; for entering satisfaction on mortgages, fifty emits; lor recording and copying plats ol not more than six corners, one dollar; for every corner more than six, ten cents; for filing every rule or older for arbitration, fifty cents; for filing affidavit for continuance when so ordered, twenty-five cents; for granting charters of incorporations, two dollars, except for churches, which sluill he one dollar; fi?r recording or copying all other papers necessary to be re corded, not hereinbefore mentioned, per copy sheet <>1 one hundred words, each figure counting a Word, fifteen O 7 cents. Skc. i. Trial Justices and Justices of the Peace?Oath and warrant in :: ? i i: < -- ' illlj V?l I III 1 Mill va.-n'j Illl.y iH'lllrt j recognizance, fi11 y cents; commit nients :tti? 1 release., each fitly cents; administering and certifying oath, in writing, other than above, twenty-five cents; issuing writ o( /tabcas corf)us hy two Jutiees, jointly, two dollars; issuing summons ami copy for defendant in civil cases, fifty cents; issuing copy lor each additional defendant over one, twenty cents; issuing summons to each witness in civil cases, twentyfive cents; for swearing and taking examination *d each witness in civil cases, twenty-five cents; for giving judgment in eases not defended, twenty-five cents; for giving judgment on hearing liligatad cases, seventy-five cents; lor issuing execution, or renesftil of same, fifty cents; report of case, and taking bonds to appeal, two dollars; for issuing attachment, rctuninahlc to Couitor Justice, including all notices, two dollars; for filing return of garnishee, and order there an, twenty-five cents; for proceedings in case of ejectment, five dollars; lor approval of indentures of apprenticeship or servants, one dollar; l'or proceedings in coroner's inquest, same lees as are allowed to coroners; for proceedings in ostray ot horse or mule, one dollar; for proceedings on all other estrays, fifty cents; for taking and certifying renunciation of dower or inheritance, two dollars; for granting order of special hill, one dollar; for the trial ol any criminal case, three dollars, which shall include all costs, except the issuing and service of papers; for every preliminary examination of any criminal case, one dollar and fifty cents; for taking deposition ol' witness, in writing, as prescribed by law, one dollar; tor attending and acting for the preservation of wrecked vessels and goods, three dollars per day out of the vessel's goods and effects, tor proceedings against vagrants and returning report thereof, four dollars; for qualifying appraisers in setting oil' the homestead, seventy-five cents, and live cents per mile for all travel actually necessary; administering oath, twentylive cents; for administering oath on affidavit, filty cents; proceedings in bastardy, inclusive, five dollars. See. 5. Sheriffs?For entering every writ, process, warrant execution, and making endorsements thereon, each, forty cents; for serving every writ or summons, besides mileage, one dollar; for bond in any case, ono dollar; lor commitment and release, each, twentyfive cents; for serving each venire for Grand Jury, fifteen dollars; for serving each venire for petit jury, twenty-five dollars; for serving each bench warrant issued in the sessions, attachment, contempt of Court, besides mileage, two dollars; for search for persons or goods not found and re111 nwH r?i' tlm a- /\,?i ^ at ?*-* -? v%*> ?v>v? v?? viiv?/Avviivivii /ety/c/ cot/ tivwii/* tu9, or nulla l>o?iat besides milage, one dollar; levying attachment or execution, besides mileage, one dollar and fift.y cents; dieting persons, per day, forty cents: 2'rovidedt That the Sheriff, or person in charge of the jail, shall make a monthly return, under oath, to tho County Commissioners ol the name of each prisoner actually lodged in jain, together with the commitment, and also tho name of each prisoner discharged, with the dis charge, upon which returns the County Commissioners shall monthly compute tho amount to be 4 \ v s7 874. NO. 17. paid; executing convict, including all charges lor burial and other expenses, titty dollars; bringing up prisoner under fuibeus corpus (to he paid by the prisoner it able,.it not, i __ .i . ..\ i : ? ? ; uy un county;, m'siui's milage, two dollars; lor executing |writ. of habere facias possessionem! two dollars, and live cents per mile lor sill necessary travel in executing the same; for transferring money, bonds or other securities lor money to part)', one per cent.; lof summoning freeholders to try suggestion ol Iraud, live dollars besides miicge; lor serving any paper in civil or criminal cases issued by Trial Justices, tbo sn.uio fees as are allowed to constables in iiho cases; conveying prisoners IVom Ot.i place to another, besides all necessary i..\ pauses going and returning, three dtdhliri per day; each guard lor Slioril)' in conveying prisoners, two dollars per day; but no fee shall be paid for any guard who has not actually been employed to assist in conveying prisoners; commissions on all moneys collected by hit.;, ii under three hundred dollars, two per cent.; on balance, il tlic amount collected is over that sum, one per cent.; on all moneys paid out of ollice on executions lodged, one per cent; executions lodged to bum and order not to levy, one dolhli'J advertising defendants property, in addition to printer's bill, one dollar, drawing deed or mortgage, three dollars hill ol sale, otto dollar and lilty I cents; each notice served on the Managers of Klectious of each election precinct, besides mi lege, one dollar and litty cents; in ease ol ejectment, ejecting tenant or odicrs, live dollars; summoning coroner's jury and witnesses, besides mileage, to be paid by the county, live dollars; lor selling land under decree of probate, in lieu ot commissions and all other charges, except lor advertising, throe dollars; mileage lor executing any writ, process or oilier paper not herein Indol e mentioned, live cents per mile going ami returning lor all travel actually made ami done. Sk<0. Constables?Tor summoning cHeli witness in civil cases, fifty cents; serving summons, ride or notice in any civil case, liliy cents; lor serving attachment on each person, one dollar; lor levying execution, posting advertisement lor side and paying over proceeds, lilty cents, he sides a commission ol two per cent on all sums, to he paid by the party in execution; lor every day in sereh of stolen goods, to he paid by complainant two dollars; lor serving a warrant in any Stale case, one dol'ar; lor selling an est ray, live per centum of the proceeds; lor all net cssary service, in esse of ejectment, as well hclore as alter judgment, live dollars; lor serving coroner^ jmy and witnesses, to he paid hy the county, live dollars: and in all easts, in addition lo the fees herein prescribed, constables shall bo entitled to receive live cents per inile for ail necessary travel, going and returning, for each day's attendance upon the Court ot Common i'leas or General Sessions, or other Court, when summoned or specially appointed by the ?SherilV, one dollar iinl 11 I t \7 fttnia iifu* ?li \r xt'liiln t tin J r^' j ? Court is actually in session: Provide. /, That the number const abler, biniiiiiiiiicd or appointed shall be subject l<> the approval of the presiding .Iudg<-: Hal provided ] urUiary That not more than ten constables shall be summoned or appointed to attend during; one term of any Court. Sic<*. V. Witnesses?Witnesses in civil and criminal eases, per day, one dollar, besides mileage, at live cents per mile, going and returning: J'tovidcd, That in no ease, except in ease ot felonies, where witnesses for tlie defense are bound ovei, shall the State be liable to pay defendant's witnesses; witnesses in Trial Justices' Court shall receive fifty cents per da., and the same mileage as alio a e I in Circuit Courts, Sico. 8. J mors?Jurors, per day, one dollar and filly -cents, besides ^mileage, at live cents per mile, going and returning; jurors in Tnal Justices' Courts shad receive twenty-fivo cents lor each case,tried, and mileage as herein allowed to other jurors. Skc. 9, That Circuit Solicitors shall be allowed for their services, when not collected from the defendant, the following fees, and no others, for a trial before a jury in civil or criminal cases, or before referees, ten dollars; for all appeals from Trial Justices, trial by court or jury, seven dollars and filty cents' Skc. 10. That the following compensation shall hereafter be allowed ft to any physician who may he called in by the acting Coroner to make a post moitem examination, to wit: When death has resulted from external violence, and where no dissection is required, the sum of ten dollars; wIkmi dissection is necessary, and, no interment has taken place, twenty dollars; for the same, after one or more days interment, thirty dollars; lor the same, when any chemical analysis is required, a sum not exceeding tifty dollars, together with the expouscs ol i such analysis; and that in every case .t I; t| R.vr* 1 h?j* i ? 4: {l.irt- s^u.uo for flr*t ami ? 1 > .? li jtii eqoi-nt Ilion, OlK iUi'i ?(jflC'V Will ColWtllKlW a K|ilHri>, uIicUmi in br?*vi?-r or ili?|>l.ty typo; tosa'l:au an Inch v\i I !,? charged lor an a ^qaai**. Marring, imticca ftv^. Deaths i ul Knnoritl noficei frw. Ohituar.i i ,?|' oiic square or?r odi sunre rlnr^'ii if ai1vi>rtisiiig ratos. Kellgonx iiotii'v* of mi* nqnarfl A 1 il ?i i i i il> ..'iiinii i*. 111 in* nw.iu i . in * wliosc ;i'l\?'rt4r-?*u!t?nt? art* t?; l*- kept in t<<r term of iliu-i' months or luuger. i -? in which such a physician shall he called to any distance beyond 0110 milo, he shall he allowed the mdoyo usually charged in Ins neighborhood: /'rovid* dy 1 hat in all cases in wnich cliemical analysis shall he made 'he physician who shall make the pout, mortem examination shall furnish to I the (hnuity Commissioners of the J county in which the said exatninat <ni has heeti made, with his accouni, a lull statement ,f such analysis: /' ? vided,y'i/W/o r, ICvury acootinl pros ed lor s< r\ ices for any pox' tuortrm cxatninalion shall have the certificate ol the Cornier, or .Magistrate a< nig as Corotier, that t.he services were rcn dcred. Sk<\ 11. If any officer herein named shall charge any other fees or lor ?i>v 1 othe r services than those herein reoilI e-1 sin h eflieer shall he liable to 1? i I'cif to ;he ]?arty injured ten times the amount ot excess ol lees so improperly barged, to be rOf'ovcred by suit in .the Court of Common Pleas, or by rut?% when t lie penalt y may not exceed twenty dollars. in evet y case in which a Clerk oi tin* Court of Common Ideas or Trial .justice's Courts shall issue an execution he shall attach thereto a bill ol each item of costs therein charged, and shall, on application ot defendant in execution, lax all costs which accrue to the ShcritV for services on suciii execution. I'J. Whenever a cause may ho settled ?fr determined, at the mutual cost oi jinnies, or discontinued by plainlili, <?r the judgment shall ho for delendanf, any of (he ollieers aloriisaid shall have pjwor to i*>.suc an oxe, , <1 i \ I 1 oution t u ins oowr, or uie .t^iciK may issue lor 1110 whole, directed to tlio sheriff, wlio is authorised and rv<juivod to CXOOIlte Hlloh prOCCBU, ilH in Olhcl' eases of i xoruicon delivered to l<im. .Slut I .'I. TluU, all Acta or parts Ants inconsistent \viUa this Act arc ben by repealed. Approved March 9, A. I). 1871. A clergyman at, Clariitda, Ohio, was away from home when the rnumld began. lie returned in the evening, ami saw Lis wife standing at the bar of a saloon, singing as loml aw she could yell, lie supposed she was druijk, ami entering the saloon, the teats rolling down his lat e., bo said: "Come home, wife, you have ruined mo--drunk? drunk?drunk again." A colored .Mississippi legislator lutoly proposed a hill to make each enemher ol the Legislature), present uml future, a bona lido attorney and coruiselleor at law. 1 lis reasoning was direct: "For," said he, 4iil" we know enough to make do laws, why don't wc practice nut?" Sure enough, why not?" i Tlu? MismM Smith <>? CiiluHtonhurv. Conn., have again refused to pay their taxes, and thy Alderuey cows will once more* bo sold at auction. Lhta way of contributing to the town rev enue -in rather expensive, but the sisters arc wealthy, ami may be able to stand it as long as the tax collector, A young | aster was amusing his Sunday school scholars with a magic lantern, on one ol the glasses of which was a picture of a poor sinner clinging to the cross amid the waves ot the stormy ocean. 4,\\ hat is that," he asked, 'Ttobinsou Crusoe," was the prompt reply. Little Tommy didn't disobey mamma and go in swimming, did ho?" "No, mamma; Jimmy Brown ntuljtho rest ot the boys went in, but I remembered wdiat you said, and didn't disobey you." "And Tommy uevor tells lies, dose be?" "No, mamma, ;I wouldn't tell a lie for all the world." 'Then how does Tommy happen to have on Jimmy Brown's shirt?' That conundrum wjv too much tor Tommy, A Louisville woman threw a man out of doors, and a policeman took him to the lockup, when lie proved to . he a burglar. Tbe next morning (tie citizens made her a present ior her "herioo repulse of a burglar," when she said she thought it was her husband, who had come home drunk, that she tlirew out ot doors. She'd "a hiu seared to death if she'd k no wed it \v.o? a burglar." Tiik QrrKKN's \V It.?Queen Victoria is credited with an amusing and amiable witticism. Some one ?t the court had spoken disparagingly (of course) ot the hostile critticisins pronounced by Chariot) l>ilku on the end Ii"It is strange," the queen is said lo have replied, "lor I remember having him as a boy on my knees anil stroking his hair?I suppose," added her majesty, alter a moment's pause, "I must have stroked it the wrong way." "William," said one Quaker to inother, "thee knows I novee call %\>y body names, but, William, it ihe Governor ot the State should come to me and say, *.loshua, I want thee to tiud mo the biggest liar in the State of New YOik,' I would come to thee and " say, * William, the Goneruor wants to , see thee particularly^ ^ ^