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GAMING IN FRA "CLOSED" A g * Paris gambles everywhere. At the periodical street fairs the workmen stake their double sous on the Little Horses; in the closed clubs fortunes are lost and won; in the places watched by the police, and in the ilubs open to the wide world, the floaters play on everything in sight, Past the age of forty years, no one is Admitted as a member of a closed club, "because," to quote the words of a clubman, "by the time a man is forty years old he has made so many enemies that some are certain to blackball him, no matter which club he tries to enter." However, any one (s welcome at the open clubs. The clubs of "Hig Lif," as the Parisian term3 High Life, include the Jockey, Epatent, the Union, and others. Cards are played for money at the Jockey Club, but the object of its foundation was the improvement of the horse. It was organized by four teen young men of the world, and the number of members Is not limited by the statutes, but candidates must be irreproachable, so far as their social standing and fortunes are concerned. An ordinary individual must be proposed by three members, but those of the diplomatic corps and foreign ministers are admitted without taking a vote. Members of the English Jockey Club are admitted to the tribune on field days without invitation, and to the clubhouse by invitation of the president of the French club. Foreigners of standing, who are in Paris for a time, may become temporary members on payment of 200 francs. The rules of all closed clubs are nhonf the same. To eain admission a man must be over twenty-five years of age, proposed by three members and voted upon by ballot. Clubmen are responsible for the people they introduce into the club salons until such time as their proteges are formally mad9 members. The law permitting clubs to open on a simple declaration gives the dishonestly inclined such latitude that the police are kept busy watching for evidence of crookedness. Baccara, as played at the open clubs, is the banker's easy method of riddling his guests. He deals the cards two at a time, one to the right and the other to the left. The highest number is nine, and the person whose card is nearest that number wins the game. The gamblers bet on the hands held by the "partners." Women are admitted to the open clubs, and they play with the same enthusiasm as they shop on bargain day. When their money is gone they strip the jewels from their persons and sell them to "the jeweler," who, being an attache of the club, is always at hf&nd. That individual is as necessary to the convenience of a club frequented by women as the croupier is to the green table. Between the hours of 2 p. m. and 2 a. n?. the gambling room is the scene of deplorable dramas. There they sit?men and women ? haggard, dishevelled, glassy-eyed, staring at the stakes, talking to themselves, and oblivious to everything except the play. Some of them even take their lunch to the table to avefc the necessity of leaving _the game. They gnaw their sand. wiches convulsively, snapping their tense jawa and gazing in unseeing agony at the garcon as he glides around the table distributing orangeades at so much a glass, and clear or Sugared water gratis. Presumably the man most responsible for the first steps in this peculiar form oE devil's work is the outside tempter, the runner for the house, the whipper-in. Most likely ne is a ruiuea spenammt returned cc his old stamping ground after making a failure at all else. Elegant idler, finished, accomplished man-of-theworld and adventurer, who has personal magnetism enough to enable him to get his game to cover -without trouble. He dines and wines the stranger at the open club, and, after dinner, leads him,dim-eyed, to a quiet corner and draws him out. Unless the greenhorn is unlike most of his kind, he displays his money, tells of his plans, and finally follows his host to a place at the tables. The whipper-in, like all gamblers, is superstitious. He rules his play by combinations dreamed by himself after a night, of frenzy or suggested tc him by snatches of talk or words heard in the street. He and his fellows believe in signs and hunt for the lucky. They get tips as the men who play the races get tips on horses. For eiample, he who dreams of smoke bets his money on "Firebrand." The longer a man gambles the more certain he feels that his combination will eventually bring him a fortune. It is a fact that the men who know the inside of the game, the so-called "wise ones," gamble by the strong impulses of their natures and that they die "broke," but it is not as well known that thecroupiersof gambling houses, who watch "the green" until 3 cr 4 o'clock In the morning, go from their own tables not to bed. hut to the tables of others to stake their pile away from home. Their theory is that "a change of place is a change of luck," hut generally they lose. In the Quartier Montmarte there is a cafe that never closes. There, four hours out of every twenty-four, the croupiers of the gambling clubs ot Paris play manille until they have nothing more to stake. So far as is known, only one croupier now ori earth has escaped the gambler's fe ver. He works in Baden, and his employers and the gamblers prize him above gold as a mascot because he has never staked a sou nor touched a card. His wages are immediately doubled whenever he hints at a longing to spread his wings, and these are again doubled when it is rumored that, in his remorse of conscience, he is meditating suicide. "Turn back!" he cries to newcomers, "this place is hell! Run!?before it is too late!"* The managers smile, because dread of vice, innocence and clean hands all bring luck. The virtuous croupier of Baden is no Pharisee; he means all he says. Why does he stay there? Who knows? The president of an open club lNCElnd open clubs *# ! draws an annual salary of from 20,i 000 to 30,000 francs, and his floating s profits amount to from 300 to S00 i francs. The "wise one," he who i spends his day* at the club to save > outside expenses, fights shy of the f green table. However, he presents a , fine appearance, and his perfect mani ners are awe-inspiring to the guests 1 of the runner, so that the managers ! are willing to have him live on the i house. They care for nothing except ' their profits, and the home-offiee is i Liberty Hall. The employes are al? lowed free hand, and each in his own ! sphere rules by his personal judgment and makes what profit he is able. One of them, a man having a ! cigar stand at the club, charged such exorbitant prices that he retired to ; the country after ten years, built an i elegant house, and lived on the inter! est of his money. The life of the employe of a club is as easy as he makes it, but the laborer earning sixty sous per day does ? not envy him. The moral atmosphere of the life is harrowing, and tragedies become closed incidents as they pass. Now and then a woman falls In a fit or a man goes mad. "I have seen," said a Parisian clubman, "a strong man, thirty-five years old lose his last coin, rise from the table, stand an instant with eyes bulging, wipe his face with his soft hat, crush the hat into his pocket and I rush bareheaded into the street to disappear from earth. What became of him? No one knows!" One night when the incomparable ! dancer, "the beautiful O?," had just lost 80,000 francs the club was raided ; by the police. When the commissary 1 entered with his aids the assembly i stared. Then all together, men and women, rushed at him howling, and ! he did his work amidst the outcries of the mob. In another place, where the triple-locked door opened only to the counter-signal of an electric bell, the police entered five minutes after touching the button, only to find themselves in a room full of men and women dancing on a waxed floor to . music played by a long-haired artist ; seated at a piano. It had taken the ! agile and energetic employes just . those five minutes to stow away ta bles, carpets, machines and stakes, : thereby changing a gambling hell into a ballroom. As a general rule the house gets the stakes, but whoever wins gets his : money, for the by-laws of the club ( make it impossible that the successful gambler should fail to receive his winnings. If the loser should have i no means of paying his debt the club , pays ft for him. Because of the many possibilities opened by this obligation i in some of the houses the would-be ' gambler is required to show his ' money before taking his place at the > table. If the cashier is certain of his man the depleted one is allowed to open an account at the locc' bank. The administration has but one way to close such an account; credit can be discontinued only by the dearly expressed desire of the debtor. A let ter must be written by him, personally, at bis residence after the excitement of the gambling room has passed. The missive must show that the writer was in a calm state pf mind when he wrote it, and that his desire to close his credit was sincere. An account thus closed may only be reopened upon the receipt of a formal written application. Gamblers are of all classes a1 tem peraments. Some men in possession of fortunes of 40,000,000 francs ani nually increase this by 3,000,000 at the green table. Some, who have 1 nothing to run on but their grit, live ; moderately well by play. Others, far , from resembling the heroes of the melodramas, are matter-of-fact, every day, philosophical plodders who play > low, win small sums occasionally and live happily in easy poverty.?Har> per*? Weekly. ; UNHAPPY MARRjjj Geniuses Who Had Re rimonis "No sun warmed my roof-tree; the marriaee was a blunder: she was nine . years my senior." Seldom did the ? last of the great Victorian novelists, i George Meredith, refer to his first i marriage, in 1849, with Mary Ellen . Nicholls, widow of Lieutenant Nichi oils and daughter of Thomas Love Peacock, writes an English paper. . But on one occasion he broke the ; silence concerning that unhappy epi sode in his life with the foregoing pathetic words. It is some satisfac; tion to know that when the first Mrs. . Meredith died, in I860, this great : writer enjoyed some twenty years of ; much happier domestic life with Miss Vulliany, a lady of French descent, i whom he married in 1S64, and who , died twenty-four years ago. Several other men of genius con temporary with George Meredith had reason to regret the matrimonial yoke. John Ruskin, for instance, i after falling in love as a boy with a ' beautiful French girl, whom he wooed with poems, romances, dra; mas and mute worship, receiving uothing in reply but chilly indifTeri ence and lively ridicule, married, at : the age of twenty-nine, a lady of ! great beauty, Euphemia C. Gray, of ;, a family long intimate with the Rus11 kins. The marriage, we are told, i was arranged by the parents of the coupie, was a somewnau nurriea : and brought no happiness to either, i Kuskin was immersed in his studies . and projects, while his wife was devoted to society, and six years after the marriage she left him, obtained a nullification under Scotch law, and ultimately became the wife of John [ Everett Millais. Then there was George Frederick Watts, the famous Royal Academician, who, when he was forty years of i age, married Miss Ellen Terry, who was not then out of her teens. As might have been anticipated, the i union of two such artists, only one of whom was permitted to pursue his art, was tempting disaster, and after i a short time the marriage was dis Japan is building her first bom made locomotives. Tantalum is a serious rival of t diamond as regards hardness. Mrs. Zoe Andrae, of Clayton, Mi has applied for appointment as s perintendent of schools to succe her husband. How to burn smoke, avoid spar and eliminate combustible matter a requisites of railway locomoti builders in Holland. > An Italian journalist is said have discovered the Bible which w used by the Emperor Napoleon durii his exile on the Island of Elba. The use of batteries and their i tendant inconveniences in the oper tion of annunciator and bell-ringii systems are dispensed with by the i vention of a new transformer, 1 which the necessary current is t cured from the ordinary lighting c: cuits. Though New York City has 6< j school buildings, 75,000 of its pup are attending on part time becau there is not sufficient accommodate for them. Men's "engagement bracelet have arrived in London. The brae let is a plain fiat band of pure go! which is fastened tightly to the wea er's arm above the elbow. A company has been organized Georgia, with a capital of $3,001 000, for the purpose of develop!] ouwannee * am to iurmsn eiecirici for the operation of electric railroac A monument to the French paint Cezanne is to be erected at Aix-e Provence. The work will be given M. Maillol, the sculptor. The Paris Gaulois in a recent nui ber describes a new monthly periot cal which Is edited by a girl of fov teen. The contributors are, witho exception, little girls, who not alo write the articles but draw the p! tures with wbich they are illustrate *The oldest structure in the wor originally built for a railway stati is the now disused Louisville ai Nashville depot in Lexington. Shippers in the United States wl are growling about freight rates m take comfort from the fact that shipper In Sao Paulo, Brazil, has ju paid freight amounting to $197.40 i 150 sacks of potatoes from Sao Pan to Kio ae Janeiro, or aoout bag for a haul of 300 miles betwe the two principal cities of Brazil. The people of New York City co sumed more than 280,000,000 poun of sugar in 1908. Not long ago the Treasury at Was ington, D. C., received a letter frc a Pittsburg man who had made a b< asking, "how many cents there a in a bushel?" The answer was n easy to offer. If the man had ask about pounds he might have receiv a definite answer. As it was, he g in reply a gues3 from a clerk, th "roughly there are something li $320, or 32,000 pennies." j More than 300 women physicia j attended the annual meeting of t j American Medical Association, whi v.-as recently held in Chicago. jES OF FAMOUS ME] ason to Regret the Ma i\ Yoke. solved. Subsequently Watts marri : a Scotch lady, with whom he liv ' for years in great happiness. Tragic in the extreme was the m* i riage of Carlyle to Jane Welsh, who | heart had been given to Edward Ir ; ing; but the gifted orator was e : gaged to a Miss Martin and was he to his vow. The absence of lo^ coupled with the bad temper and ir; tability of the famous historian, 1 to much unhappiness both for hi] self and his wife, who confessed th the years were to her the "bitterne of death." Most of us have read of the unfc tunate union of Lord Byron to Mi Milbanke, the only daughter ai heiress of Sir Ralph Milbanke, wealthy baronet, and how, after tl birth of a child, Lady Byron went her father and refused to return her husband. Subsequently a form deed of separation wa- signed. Thi there was Shelley, who marri' the sister of a school fellow witho being really in love. He separati from his wife, and ultimately ma ried a second time, after his first wi had committed suicide by drownii herself in the Serpentine in Hyi Park. I In the annals of literature, ho' ' ever, it would be difficult to find, evi in fiction, a more amazing example enmity between husband and wi than that which existed between Lo Lytton and Rosina Wheeler, a bea tiful Irish girl, whom he married 182 7, despite the protests of b mother. It was a most unhappy ma riage, and even after the separatio j in 1836, they referred to another the most embittered tones. Unbecoming Conduct. "I want Bliggins dismissed fro the Optimists' Club," said the indi nani youth. "What's the trouble?" "He insists on referring to t' money I borrowed of him instead talking about something pleasant ?Washingtoa Star. ... :. ... _ L j " n^^^asa & ? Diagram showing the proportion of 1U" Roman Catholics, Jews and Protestants in New York City. ks THE KAISER AS A PLAIN CITIZEN re 00 ils "f?'. 011 #^K ' ' ::v-WyQl 'j'.* i*? H8l *iL ^\^fXE^I" ' ;- JHBtt4|^Oy^H| xM In^flKlW c' HKi ffinSRHH ^ MlWfflWfHfflHW- IHMlWfWM tr- j Bp is Sb IKIH1 - ' to Ml : ^ ^ '.' BmHB iL^BWI ^ SS^H Sj^^B|B }*$>?/,'?* li- v^;v BBS 9' 1 u^ ?;<^'.tv> bBBb '. Id : &:* ; j g?; \ The Kaiser, Germany's war lord, without his war clothes. This unusual photograph of the German EmkQ peror caught him scowling in a manner more familiar to his ministers 4- /\ 4-V? /"i o rl m I t?i n rr aranorQl mthlln tuna tu iug auiuiuug gvuvK?? yuM*twi t ?From the Sphere. on ]0 A Minifying Estimate, a "Does your son know the value of en * dollar?" "Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox, "he has some idea of it. He knows betn ter than to invite the scorn of the dg waiter at whose table he dines by offering him one as a tip."?Richmond Evening Star. h ?m For .the-Congo a smelting plant to ?t, treat 1000 tons of copper ore daily .re has been ordered from the United ot States. ed ed THE C ;ot to' * :" ^ I tc ! al "How long has your wife taken t en "Since she has become jealous of ed _ ? ut Handy Spoonholder. i i ed Among the numerous minor inir ventions that seem trifling in themfe a 8 dc w <! //' lis ' I ! :!. A i i f i s i i r < -.1 - i 01 j hi.. I selves but acid *>o laucn to the comfort of humanity is the open holder ' devised by a New York man. It Is a ;3t.v. -1, ^ : MISSION FIELD. n ^/^WTWCliT * I yvwao^wa 45)673/ \ yGgSKSk V \ c j /wSSK" \ med ^Bl^.\ A'227Cffi>HMAt'm \ and J two Diagram showing tho division of the Protestant population of New York City in the year 1905. P ?From the Home Herald. pan, ? bles Novel Medicine Chest. scuc One of the most ingenious of inven- han< tiona is the medicine chest designed whit by an Arkansas man. With this with chest there is no etcuse for a person han< not taking his medicine on time or grac for getting the medicines mixed. The be e cabinet consists of a stand with two will little drawers at the uppei* corners and and a desk portion on top. In front cool* of the desk portion is a little door, quai just about wide enough to admit a and bottle, and inside is a series of re- sin < volving trays. One of these trays is It provided with numbers Indicating in c minutes, another with numbers indi- mak eating the hours of the day, and a and prei 1 mill '. | YorJ tOg , in a L?????????J i whii third vwith ordinals indicating the frot hours of the day and night. Each rice tray is divided into ' little compart- gold j ments at each hour, so that at a cer- T j tain hour a bottle in that compart- dish ; ment will be waiting at the door, who This is brought about by a clock som meshanism which operates the trays, in a all of which are connected to a shaft of s and mpved by the clock, the face of diss which Is visible in the front of the ther stand. It now remains for the inven- cass I tor to add an alarm attachment and taki it will be practically impossible to Leamiss medicine time. ? Washington be ( Star. Phil Enongh Said. Mother?"You were a long time In T the conservatory with Mr. Willing sage last night, my child. What was go- one ing on?" cupi Daughter?"Did you ever sit in brea nAnooKtro+ftrv xi/lfVi nona hofnro D6DI LUU UVUOCl ? U>L L J Tt *WU WW*w?w A f I you married him?" per. Mother?"I suppose,I did." S] Daughter?"Well, mamma, It's the out same old world."?Boston Transcript, and ' in a When the Special 1st Arrived. pan, First Guest?"This place is healthy, one isn't it?" dish Second Quest?"It was up to the wej? ' time that a noted specialist from New coid York got into the habit of spending a sj his summers here. Now we have an i ch0I operation every week or soi"?Life. W spre ^ ^cut^ o going in the kitchen/" Ja the cook."?From Fliegende Blaetter. and spre: simple little device, but it is of great serv( convenience for use on tall glasses, such as those used for iced tea, etc. The device consists of a piece of metal up 1 bent at the top to form two arms, a*vf with the opening between them just or a" wide Enough to admit the handle of a *n spoon, inserted sideways, and with the wide part just narrow enough to !n" 1 keep the handle of the spoon from slipping through. The lower part of Ci the holder consists of a flat strip comt which runs down inside the glass and oven a spring clip on the back which goes look outside the glass and clamps the j flann whole firmly on. The spoon, when w not in use, is hung on the holder and j jn an does not fall into the bottom of the wye. glass. While the device fits on the t am: edge of any receptacle, it is chiefly kept emnlored where the receptacle is w deeper than the spoon is long.?Bos- are j ton Post. they way; Japan in 190S made 260,000,000 s?ec'; pounds of paper and imported 48.- l),ece 000,000 pounds, a consumption of ilits' 308,000,000 pounds, or 6.3 pounda 11 "-12 per capita of the population. serve I Apple Toast. ore, peel and cut into slices six ium sized apples. Put two tableinfuls of butter into a saucepan, when it is melted throw in the es with half a cupful of sugar and tablespoonfuls of water; stew the es quickly, tossing them with a m. In the meantime cut several is of bread and fry in melted butuntil golden brown. When crisp, e the to&st on a hot dish, sprinkle t powdered sugar and cover with apples.?New York World. Good Cornmeal Mash. ut two quarts of water into a stew and when it is boiling add a tapoonful of salt and skim the light q from the top. With the left I pour in fresh cornmeal, either ;e or yellow, stirring continuously i a long wooden spoon in the right i, and continue to add the meal lually until it is as thick as can itlrred easily, or until the spoon n stand alone; stir it awhile longer, when the mush is sufficiently :ed, which will be in half or three- ? rters of an hour, it will bubble puff up. Turn it into a deep ba)r large platter. may be eaten cold or hot, fried akes or as a garnish for meat; it 00 Qn fivnollonf ftAHAol ? ? VO uu VAVWliOUU WCX CO! VTllIl OUgttr ^ cream for bTeakfast, or it may be J( >ared like macaroni, with eggs, ^ i and cheese, and baked.?New k World. a Apple Souffle. P oil three ounces of rice in a pint ^ lilk till tender, mash it to a pulp, a cake tin with it and place it in oven .till quite firm and set. Turn ito a dish and fill the frame -with luffle made as follows: Stew five ft es, sweetening and flavoring them e t a little cinnamon or clove. Beat b yolks of three eggs with an ounce _ a half of butter and mix them l the apples. Set on the fire for g. iw minutes in order to mix well ^ sther. Let the mixture then stand a basin for a short while, add the n tes of three eggs beaten to a stiff h, and mix all together. Fill the ^ frame with this and bake till a "j [en brown. his makes a simple, old-fashioned . which is both tempting and " lesome. Pare, core and nuarter e apples overnight and place them a fruit casserole with half a pound "w lugar which has been previously Dived in a teacupful of water. Let j{ a get well heated, then draw the 8l erole to the side of the stove, ng care that the lid fits closely. Ci <re all night and the apples will g luite tender in the morning.? q adelphia Record. y Squabs a L'Americaine. 81 hree squabs, four ounce^ of sau- ? i meat, five ounces of cooked ham, a carrot, one turnip, one onion, two j( !uls of stock or water, one egg, id crumbs, mashed potatoes, salt, j jer, grate of nutmeg and red pepA plit the squabs in halves a~d take ^ the breastbone. Wash, prepare quarter the vegetables, put them saucepan, lay the squabs on them, ^ p in the stock or water, cover the ' and let the birds cook slowly for f hour. Then lift them on to a , place another over them with ;hts on it, and press them flat till t( . Rub the sausage meat through ' " eve, and mix wltli it the finely | a' >ped ham and seasonings. . , S] fhen the squabs are quite cold ' d ad a layer of this force oyer the , *6 side of each. Brush over each ~ e with beaten egg, and cover it i fine bread crumbs. Fry them in h king hoi fat till a golden color. tl ave ready some hot mashed pota- st , arrange a bed of it down the ui re of a hot dish, lay the squabs tl his, pressing them down slightly (i the potato. Then decorate the m ; of the dish with mashed potato ti ed through a bag and rose tube, in round a little tomato or brown e. preferred some carefully pre- is d spinach might be used in the bi e of potatoes. ? Philadelphia J tr s- p] I hi MHOliEHOmil i H HINTS * | S HWESEECBSBasBi!*?aa^ jw in jars of preserved guavas are j n as a sweet for luncheon or , ed at dinner. , ? 11 UUU<?I1 UUACj Ui f^UClVO. JCL^ LC aid ed with crackers and cheese when j ^ ;alad is passed. ! ej ipanese boxes fl'.ied with spiced 1 p( >nds may be used on the table in- 1 {e 1 of salted nuts. 5d Spanish peppers are kept in j to be used as a salad with French , sing or in sandwiches for special 1 sions. j t6 rs containing a paste of chicken i jj, truffles should be prepared to be fo id thinly on bread and butter and j yc sd with a salad. j ne iees<5 fiiJed with nuts may be put | w' n glass jars. This is used for ' re ins sandwiches for afternoon tea 1 yc :ter-theatre suppers. 1 ! to cooking macoroai. rice, oyster j re or milk for a custard, by greas- j ov [he kettle with a little butter it yc never stick. j th ips an^ dishes which have be- | s brown by constant baking in the | * ( may be brightened and made to | Pa like new by rubbing them with a yc el dipped in whiting. hen pickles or vinegar are kept >y kind of a vessel :aade of glased me vinegar acts on the glaze ^r forms a poison. They should bo w' in glass jars or bottles. Wl hen cantaloupe or watermelon ound to bo lacking in sweetness j may be served in the following Cut out the ccntre, remove the ; and cut in moderately small s; place these in a bowl and put )f chopped ic3 among them. Ponr r*s Lyonnalso dressing over this and si: >. ? > . . v -,v - ; - I SMALL POTATOES. Ezry Pembroke told us hie Was th' knee-j'int rheumata. Twisted Ezry's legs up so Ezry said he couldn't go Off a crutch an' laid, he said, Nigh on six long months abed, An* he'd holler if ye'd p'infc Jist yer finger at his j'int! Ezry Pembroke said he bet He'd be crippled all up yet, But he heered fr'm Treaawell Spain How t' drive away th' pain Jist by alius carryin' New potatoes near yer skin '"M In his pocket, an said his Tuk away th' rheumatiz! Ezry said he couldn't say" Why it druv th' pain, away, But he 'lowed it jist about Drawed th' rheumatiz right out; An' he said th' 'tater got All shrunk up?a nubbin net Bigger'n biro's eggs, after you Carried it a month or two. An' right then why Homer Pry Winked at us an' spoke up diy, An' told Ezry he c'd see ^ Why it's alius nubbins he ? Used t' get fr'm Ezry's store, But he Towed he w n't no more Now that Ezry's cu*ed up his Tater-ahrinkin' rheumatiz! ?J. W. Foley, in New York Times. ? "What did you see;ahead.of yo? hen you discovered the North Pole?** Trouble."?Washington Star. "He's got no license to taiK tne ay he does." "Oh, he's got a li2rise, all right What he lacks is a tuzzle!"?Cleveland Leader. Chawley Stayleight?"I am always *. irrled away by that tune you just layed." Miss Pert?"That's why I layed it."?Chicago Daily News. I We meet all kinds of people As through life we go along; Some are right occasionally, > And some are always wrong. "Have good weather on your camplg trip?" "You bet! There were nough sunny days tb dry out all the edclothes before the next rain came." # -Cleveland Leader. . ^ Truth Seeker?"What are the lsues in the coming campajgn?" Ward [eeler?"Well, we haven't issued nything yet but a loud call for loUey."?Chicago Tribune. ilthough he didn't get a bite Upon his fishing trip, ' ' , n Ttmo nlam wkfin Y* Q trr\ f llAtna flf That he'd'had many a nip. Miss Plainleigh (an heiress)? Jack was dreadfully embarrassed 'hen he proposed to me*" Miss Crabpple?"Yes; I understand that is rhy he did it."?Boston Transcript. ^ "Say, that lawn mower you sold me tst summer isn't worth its weight in crap iron. We always refer to it as tie Nebuchadnezzar." ''Why do you t sill it that?" "Because it makes the rass look as if it were bitten off."? leveland Plain Dealer. "How would you feel, Clarlsse, If ou and I were sailing down the tream of life, far away from here?" How far, George?" "Oh, far, far way!" "I'd be so terribly homesick )r mother!" And from\that night lis young man ceased his visits.? udge. Griggs?"Here comes one of those rctic explorers. He claims to have een to the North Pole, and he'll talk s to death." Brlggs?"Well, here Dmes a neighbor of mine who is the ither of a new baby. We will introuce them and leave them to their ite."?Chicago Daily News. "Cheer up, old' man," said a mas 1 ) a friend who had been contume* ously dismissed by the father of his -> j nr ~ uureu uiie. uuic lauguo at tuumiths." "Yes, I know," replied the ejected suitor. "But her .father in't a locksmith?he's a gunsmith!" -Philadelphia Inquirer. Dr. Dryasdust ? "My dear sir, I ave noticed you in our church for le past few weeks, but you are a ;fanger to me. Have you Just joined a?" Stranger?"No, sir. I come on le advice of my doctor, who is treatig me for Insomnia, and who is a lember of your congregation."?Balmore American. ? . > Whistling Trees. Among the curiosities of tree life the sofar, or whistling tree of Nuia. When the winds blow over this ee it gives out flute-like sounds, laying away to the wilderness for 5urs at a time strange, weird meloles. It is the spirit of the dead singig among the branches, the natives iy, but the scientific white man says tat the sounds arte due to a myriad ! small holes which an insect bores i the spines of the branches. The eeping tree of the Canary Island is lother aboreal freak. This tree in le driest weather will rain down lowers from its leaves, and the naves gather up the water from the )ol formed at the foot of the trunk id find it pure and fresh. The tree :udes the water from innumerable >res situated at the base of the aves.?Chicago Journal. Onf) on the American. A native born American member of , party of four business men who ofn lunched together took great dejht in joking the others on their reign birth. "It's all very well for >u fellows to talk about what we sed in this country," he said, "but hen you come to think of it you're ally only intruders. Not one of ?u was born here. You're welcome this country, of course, but you ally oughtn't to forget what you ua no notiroe rrVi n nrton nnt? H nnrc >u." "Maybe," said an Irishman in e party thoughtfully. "Maybe. But ere's one thing you seem to forget: came into this country wid me fare Lid an' me clothes on me back. Can iu say the same?"?Tit-Bits. The Frail Suffragette. At a party in Beverly, N. J., a girl actured the collarbone of a youth tio tried to wash her face with a atermelon rind. Yet people conmie to speak of women as the aakor sex. ? Pittsburg Gazettemes. Mortality Among Reporters. Last Sunday was a poor day for the porters; only two were killed and < injured in automobile accidents. Madison (Wis.) Democrat.