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BUDGET OF FUN. Heumorous sketches from bp various sources. J^UDne in a Thonsand?Bad Enonsh Jg as He Was?Helpinff the Huncry?Both Tired?His Inheritance, Etc. H She sank upon the cushioneJ bench BjB At 31efs;-s. Kolf and Kipp's, HH And softly said she'd like to get ffigg A pair of sealskin slips. BB The clerk came smirking with a "two," And then with "three" and "four," But still, alas! like Dickens's Twist, IH Her feet demanded?' 'More." H The young man reached his wit's extreme: [H He dared not venture higher, For fear another customer Would flounce away iu ire. Not she! A smile broke from her eyes, ffld She cried?"Why, man aiive, H If y ou must work that moss grown game, Begin with number five!" ?Burlinrjton Free Press. SB Bad Enough as He Was. "Hooraycried Cndlev, "I feel like 5ja "Ob, please don't," retorted Bromley. ''Don't be any newer than usual, Cadley. ^HYou are too fresh, naturally."?Bazar. M Helping the Hnn?jrj"gn "I wish you would help uie a little," ^Kaid the tramp; "I haven't eaten any- ' [ thing for two days." HH "H'm!" returned old Grinder; "I'm : ^Kpposed to giving money promiscuously j Hon the street; but if you take this string- j ^Hand tie it around you tightly, you won't |Hfeel so empty J"?Puc\\ Both Tired. KM Bill Collector (to hired girl)?"Look I ^Hiere, I'm tired coming around with this I bill." KB Hired Girl (wrathfullj)?"Well, I'm ^ftired, too, having to leave my work to ^Htell you to call again." ? B. C. ?"Well, you may tell your boss ! jj^Kbat this is my last call." BS| H. G.?"Your last?" B. C. (fiercely)?"Ye3." ' jgj H. G.?"Thank Heaven!" HgS His Inheritance. HBH "I can't understand, Bobby," said his MBfather, "why you should quarrel so j^knuch with Tommy White. Your mother j^Kells me you quarrel with him most of the I "I can't help it, pa," replied Bobby, houghtfully. "I gues3 I must get my imposition "from you and ma."?Bazar. The Intelligent Juror. ^ "How do you vote, Si, guilty or not "Oh, now, see here. It'3 a plain :ase of not guilty. What makes you hink him guilty?" "What makes me think him guilty? Yal, I'll tell ye. If the man ain't guilty, low'd he come to git arrested?"?Muney's Weekly. A Good Feature. I A widow called at a sculptor's studio o see the clay model of the bust of her tusband. "I can change it in any paricular that you may desire," he said. The widow looked at it with tearful yes. "The nose is large." "A large nose is a sign of goodness," aid the artist. The widow wiped away her tears, and obbed: "Well, then, make it a little arger."?The TFosp. Put His Foot in His Mouth. Mrs. Robinson was entertaining some adies at a select little five o'clock tea, md Bobby, who had been exception ,llv well-behaved, was in high feather. _ "Ma," he said, as cake was being landed round, "may I have some ongue, please i" "There isn't any tongue, Bobby." ! "That's funny," commented Bobby. 'I heard pa say there would be lots of t."?London Tid-Bits. A Woman's Reasoning. "Xo, Mr. Sampson," she says sweetly, 'I can never be vour wife. We would I lot be happy. You are too extravagunt n your habits." Extravagant:" he repeated. "You lave been misinformed, Miss Lulu. I >m as economical as a Brooklyn deacon. IVhv, I have to be." "Then I can never be your wife, Sir. Sampson." "Because I'm economical?" "2so, because you have to be econimical!" In a Safe Place. Business Man (to new confidential lerk)?"Here, Waggerlv, is the safe ombination. Be very careful that you lon't lose it."' "Yes, sir." Business Man (next morning)-- "What! aven't vnn nnered the safe vet?" I"Xo, sir, I couldn't." "You haven't lo9t that slip, I hope?" "No, sir; but I put it inside the safe ast night."?Boston Beacon. Mrs. Malaprop's Latest. Mrs. Malaprop has come to town as isual this season and is getting in her pork with the same disregard of"English a always characterizes her. Society lirclea are now laughing over a lapsus inguT originating with one of the Mrs. J.'s who Is quite weil-known. One of ler daughters, a beautiful girl, has been itting to a sculptor, and some one asked he lady what was being done. "Oh," he replied, "my daughter is having a >ust made of her hand."?Washington Critic. Entitled to Ride Free. Saturday a poorly-dressed, trampishppearing man boarded a south-bound Jottage Grove avenue car. When the onductor asked for his fare the man relied that he was out of change, but that ie guessed he could ride to Sixty-third (E^Bireei. Mi "Xo, you can't unless you have the BBnoney to pay for it," the conductor au^^Ewered. Braj "Well, now I jest kin. Isee that sign j^Hhere afore I got on this car, sayin': 'To ^Miixty-third street without change.'"? WUfihica-o Mail. H^Bcintillations From the Sanctntn. H8 "The product of the cotton plant en^Hers largely into the consumption ot the g^neople in one way and another," reHHnarked the casual caller, as he put a few ^^Ehoice exchanges in his pocket. "Yes," HHeplied the snake editor as he put the HHnemorandum of a bright idea on his j^Hcratch pad. ".Now, besides the textile J^Bues of cotton, we have cottonseed oil ^^Bued in the manufacture of lard." ^B'Yes," assented the snake editor imC^natiently. "And I suppose," added the ^Hsaller, judiciously passing out of the SBioor, "that soon we will be drinking B^Botton-gin."?Pittsburg Chronicle TeleW[?aph. |HA Great Expectations. Astrologer?"Come is. You are a RHusiness man, I see. The star% tell me that you expect to add to your fortunes shortly. Your thoughts are entirely on money. Am I not right, sir?" Caller?"Well, yes, that is " j "I thought so. I never make a mis- ' take. The money you are looking for i you will receive. There will be no I trouble about it; no delays of any kind, j One dollar please. Always come to me I when you waut advice. Everything I 1 touch turns to gold." "You mistake. I did not come here J to have my fortune told. I am the pro- j prictor of the grocery store around the corner, and I would like you to pay this bill, three weeks overdue." "Ahera! Please call again."?Pliila dcljjia h'ecord. Gave Himself Away. "How did I get this black eye?" re1 peated the drummer, as be buckled the ! straps to his satchel. "Well, I tried to be smart." "Howr" "I was at Seymour, Ind., and in o hurry to get my railroad ticket. So was i another chap. The ticket seller was j slow, lazy and impudent. The other ! man pulled his gun, shoved it into the window and got his ticket ten seconds j later. It was a hint for me." j "And you accepted it?' "r did. I shoved rav revolver into ! the window and gave the ticket man a quarter of a minute to get me a pasteboard." [ "And he jumped?" , "He did?jumped out of his office and broke me in two over a baggage truck. He's got my revolver yet." 4 But how did it happen to work in ouc case and fail in another?" "Oh, I couldn't keep my voice from trembling, and then I didn't have long hair and a buffalo overcoat. Ho got I right onto me for a fake."?Detroit Free j Press. Talking Shop. Scene?The Composing Room of an i Agricultural Paper. Foreman?"Jim, what arc you doing?" j Jim?"Settingup" 'A Young Man on a Stock Farm.'" Foreman-"When you get through with that, put 'A Few Pigs' on the inside, ana 'An xiinciens x>iguiuiujj ?uu ?> j top of the first column." Jim? "What must T do with the 'Spanish Itch' and 'Texas Fever?' " Foreman?"Distribute them and then try and get in this 'Sure Cure for Hog j j Cholera.' Let Sam set up'A Good Cow Shed' and 'A Pleasant Summer Drink,' and give Joe 'The Hollow Horn.' II he wants more let htm have 'Home Made Cheese' and "Gherkin Pickles.' What did you do with that 'Money in I Early Broilers?'" Jim?"It's lockcd up. So is 'Constipated Colt.' The devil made a lot o' pi out of 'Elegant Corn Bread' and j 'Xico Tomato Sauce' and is now going I for a 'GoodFarm Dinner.'" Foreman?"Whereis that 'Fine Young Holstein Bull For Sale?' I can't find it." j Jim?"Reckon not. It's dead twc I weeks ago, and taken out" Foreman?"Can you get Jones and j Smith's big .Tack in this week?" j .Tim?'\iN'o. Have to hang on the hook i till ^the 15th. Had to crowd out A i Fine Lot of Young Merino Bucks' so as tn orfif. in '100 Berkshire Piors.' " Foreman? "What did you do with that 'Mammoth Yellow Yam?1 " Jim?"That had to give place to Home-made Wire Bustle.'" Foreman (petulantly) ? "Shoot the bustle! We ain't runnin' a fashion paper."?Southern Live Stock Journal. | No More Speculation for Him. "Yaa*. there's money made in stocks, 1 no doubt," said the old man as he rej moved his hat and ran his fingers through his gray locks, "but it's a risky biziness; it's suthin' like bettin' on where lightning's coing to strike, with the odds of hiting the tree you stand under." "Then you never speculate?" "Never. I dig along on the old farm, I taking one crop with another, and pull! ing old stumps when I've nothing else to | do; and if I don't make any great shakes I haven't anything to worry over. I had a purty solemn warning during the coalile excitement and it cured me of specula tion." "Plow was that?" "Waal, I was a widower then; wife fell down the well and was drawn out as stiff as a poker. I had a big farm, lots of stock and was called purty solid. We ! all got excited about ile and all of us I dug more or less holes in search of the stuff. All of a sudden a widder living about two m'les from me found ile in a j ' dozen places on her farm. She was a i widder with a bad nose, freckles all over her face, eyes on a squint and built up like a camel. But when she struck ile : that was a different thing. I guess some I six or seven of us began courting that widow within sixteen hours of the sight i of that ile. I know the procession reached from the gate to the house." j "And you got her;" j "2fot much I didn't, and that's what I'm thankful for. Somehow or other I couldn't work up to the pint. That j nose kinder stood in the way every time I was ready to put the question. '3he acted like she wanted me, bat Deacon Spoouer got the b^st of all and they I made a hitcn." j "And then what." } "Nothing, except she had dosed thai { farm with a barrel of ile and thus got s husbaud for herself and a home for her j five children. When the news came oul i I was so cold along the backbone thai ! they had to kiver me up with a hosf : blanket, and since that time I haven't ; had the nerve to buy eggs at seven cent? a dozen and hold 'em for a rise." " Philadelphia's Two Richest Men. The right to the title of "the richest Philadelphian" is generally considered to be between A. J. Drexel, the banker, and William Weightman, of the chemii cal firm of Powers <fc Weightman. ! Judging by the wealth of Francis Drexe) j when he died, the brother must be worth well ou toward $20,000,000, and Mr. Weightman'* fortune must be about the I same, using the wealth of his late part: uer, Thomas II. Towers, as a basis of i i?rJr?mf>nt. Both of these meu were hard | workers from the start in their respective ' occupations. Anthony Drexel was on 1 the street in his youth and mastered every phase of the money market by hard ; application. The same devotion to | business marks Mr. Weightman's carecr. The manufacture of quinine has reaped j his firm immense profits .?Philadelphia i Record. Compressed Sawdust for Fire Wood. "I'm thinking of makiug a dryer for drying sawdust," said a well-known Lewiston man. "It will be a big business soms day. A firm down in Bangor is taking the lead. Their purpose is, you kuow, to press it by hydraulic power j into ab'"5^ one-tenth its bulk, and tell :t for fuel after all the moisture has been excluded. You see the effect of moisture. I The intense strain created by burning | would burst the adhering structure nna make it inefficient as fuel. When you come to think of the enormous waste of sawdust it is apparent that modern economics has hold of the right end of o I i long clue.?Jjtvitton {Me.) Journal. * *' VX ' HOUSEHOLD MATTERS. | A Splendid Household Mixture. A good mixture to have in the house is composed of aqua ammonia, two ounces; soft water, one quart; saltpeter, one teaspoonful; shaving soap, one ounce, rcrape the soap fine before mixing with (he other ingredients, and allow it to stand a few hours before using. It is jure death to bedbugs if applied to the crevices which they inhabit. It will remove paint that is mixed with oil without injuring the finest fabrics, and will remove grease from (nrpets by covering ihe spots with the mixture, and after sponging and rubbing it thoroughly wash it oil with clear cold water.? Washing!o?i Star. Umbrella Stnnd. To make a handsome umbrella stand select as 6mooth a tile as you can find; if there are coarse burnt particles upon its interior or exterior surface knock them off with an old knife or file, then put a coat of white paint on the outside. Next secure some sand, sift it thro igh a fine sieve; when perfectly dry dust the tile completely with it. Only the finer particles will adhere, giviog an even texture. Let it remam twenty-foui hours, or until dry. Then take common varnish, cut it with turpentine; add a little chrome vellow tube paint; with a brush commence paintiug at the top, shading as you proceed by adding black, burnt sienna or raw amber, to a deep brown at the base.?Detroit Free Press. Standing Meat-Pies. Having had some experience as a baker in Montreal, writes fcfamuel Watson tc the New Yoik IViV/im*, I will send yoi my recipe for standing pip crust. First you take three pounds of flour and on< pound of good, fresh lard, and rnb th? lard well into the flour; then add hoi water, not boiling, and take care not t< use too much water, for the dough needs to be pretty stiff. We used to havi moulds of wood the shape of the pie wc wanted to make. Take a piece of th> dough while it is warm and roll it out t< the size you think will lit the shape, press it into the shape with your hands, and by the time that is done the dough will be cold and stiff. Then you cat turn it right side up and put your meain. Pork or mutton is the best meat and should be partly cooked and highly seasoned. The larger the pie the thirke: the crust must be. Bake with a steadj heat. Chemistry in the Kitchen. No housekeeper has mastered the art of cooking who does not know something of the chemical elements of food, ana me purpose; 1i serves nucu mncu into the system, and it is particularly important thatihe should know what will best supply the real needs of her growing family, as the more perfectly it it adapted to their wants the more vigorous will be the body, and more perfeci the development of muscle, nerve anc bra:n. Th? first consideration in the selectioi and preparation of food is to know wha' is adapted to the peculiar condition of those to be fed; the child requires i oc composed of different elements from tha which test suits the adult, while thi diet of the brain worker who leads i sedentary life, and whose work makei heavy demands on the nervous system should vary from that of the man o: active pursuits, whose business calls hin into the open air, and furnishes him wit! exercise. The use of knowledge lr cooking is to teac.; bow to supplcmen: one kind of food by another which contains the needed elements in which th< first is deficient.?Houneicife. Baking Cake. If sponge cake is soft and "meaty," i' is probably because bread flour has beet used instead of pastry Hour. Or it may have been beaten too much. Always be careful not to slam the oven door or set things down heavily on the stove when cake is baking, as it may be at just that point when the jar wil cause the cakc to fall flat. Always turn a cake cut on a cloth, a? it will stick to a board or plate. Piece: of old tablecloths, hemmed, make good cake cloths. Ansel cake is not difficult to make: il should be handled about like spong< cake, and baked in a moderate oven. Th< baking is the hardest part. An even teaspoonful of baking powder to a cup of Hour is a good proportion. In beating for a long time with th< spoon, turn it over and use the spoon backward and it will be fouud mucl? easier. I In-making anything with sour milk add the soda last, or put it into the lloui or meal and sift it in last, so as to savi all the effervescence. In preparing a tin, paper the endfirst, then lay in a strip to cover botton and sides. To attempt to paper tin whole tin with one sheet of paper make.' too many folds in the corners and t0( many wrinkles in the cake. If you have any frosting left after decorating the cake, use it lor sweetening something else, or seal up tight in s glass jar and keep it for duys if you wish for plain frosting. If it seenn*stiff add a bit of lemon juice and beat hard.? Detroit Free Press. How to Paper a Room. In the first place select paper that ii smooth and firm on the under side, as i< will not dampen through so quickly Then it is best to trim tbe paper the da} before using. Lay a roll on the iloo) ond eitfinrr rinTOn (nnf nn tVin Hnnr linur ever1, trim the right edge, keeping i" rolled with the left hand. liood paste is quite an item and is best made without cooking. Put a qi antitj of flour in a large dishpan, and poui over it just enough cold water to roak< a smooth paste. .Now pour onsuflicienl boiling water, stiring well all the time, to make it thick and clear. Have a sca'Jold longer than the cciling is high. Measuie oil a width where you wish to commcnce, allowing for it tc come well under the border. Then Iaj a roll right side up on ihe scafTold and measure off another width, matching the edges that will come together on the wall. "When you have cut four or five turn them over, and with a whitewash brush spread paste om evenly, being sure that the edges are well pasted. Then get on the wall as quickly as possible. Commencing at the top with a brussels ] broom, brush from the center each way I removitic all wrinkle* Also have a cloth near you, ar:d. any places that are damp enough for the color to brush oIT, press gcnt.y wi li the cloth. Before lastening securely at the bottom crease the paper with the end of the scissors agaiust the edge of the was-liboard, then [ drawing it from the wall cut in the ! crease and brus.h l ack firmly in place. Cut the border in short length?, as it is much easier to haudle.?Farm,Field and Stufkmn i>The postoffice at Ewbanks, 111., is to be abolished for the singular reason that : oo one can be found to take charge Df it. There are only two native-born Representatives in the Kansas Legislature. .. ...... Facts About Ecnndor. Mr. Louis Boissevain, who has just returned from Ecuador, has some interesting information about that Republic and its future prospects. "Ecuador." said Mr. Boissevain, "seems to be the least known of the | South American Republics, but has, in I my opinion, a glorious future. Its internal resources are simply enormous,but eutirelv undeveloped. It brings much of its produce from California and Chile, because it has not the means of transportation for its own from the high table lands of the inteiior. When it is so transported it is worth its weight in gold. "In these northern provinces chickens are worth six cents each. By the time they reach Guayaquil, the main seaport of the country, they are worth $1. A barrel of potatoes in the interior is worth $1.20; at the seaport it brings $12 to $18. Wheat and barley and other products are in the same ratio. "To go from Guayaquil to Quito, the capital, takes the following time: By rail five hours, four to six days by mule (according to the condition of the mules and the roads) a^d the final portion two days by stage. "Florrez. who is now President, is a 1 rr? very cnligntenea ana noenu umu. has lived ranch of his life in the United States and in Europe, and has imbibed much experience, which he is anxious to turn to his country's account. The country is rich in gold, rubber, sugar and cattle, and only capital is required to bring it to the sea." 3Ir. Boissevain said that he visited the country filled with prejudice against it, but has returned with full convictions of its future prosperity.?New York Herald. Processions of Slaves in Africa. One of the saddest sight seen anywhere is a common spectacle on some of the large tributaries of the Congo. The Bangala and a few other large tribes along the Congo have a great demand for slaves to be killed as sacrifices upon the death of important persons, or to be used to furnish forth their cannibal feasts. Unless they are at war the supply of slaves often runs short, and th-ey send expeditions up the Lulongo, the Tchuapa, and other rivers, to buy victims for their ceremonies. Another reason why they seek the slave markets along the Congo tributaries is that, as a rule, the further they go from the main river the cheaper they can buy slaves. So it is no uncommon sight for explorers, ascending the tributaries, to meet processions of Congo canoes laden with slaves, usually male ndults, going to their own funerals, and often bound It J J /? A. nana nnu iuot, They understand full well the cruel fate from which there is no cscape. The richer or more important the family which has lost one of its members, the more numerous must be the victims who follow him to the grave. This is one of Africa's great cruelties which the Congo State Government is suppressing wherever its authority is sufficiently established to combat the ancient evil.? New York Hun. "Why It is Cold on tlic Mountains. Go into a greenhouse on a sunshiny daj% and we tind the temperature much hotter than outside. The glass will allow the hot sunbeams to enter, but it refuses to allow them out again with equal frpedom. and conseauentlv the tempera ture rises. Our whole earth is in this way to be likened to a greenhouse, only, instead of the panes of glass, we are enveloped by an enormous coating of atmosphere. "When we are on the earth's surface we are, as it were, inside the greenhouse, and we benefit by the interposition of the atmosphere; but when wo begin to climb very high mountains wo gradually get through the atmosphere and then we suffer from the cold. If we could imagine the earth to be stripped of its coat of air, then eternal frost would reign over the whole earth as well as on the tops of the mountains. A Terror to Knavish Coal Dealer?. In Northern cities there has been recently introduced a patented automatic machine, which is a terror to the unfair coal dealer. It is in the form of scales, attached to coal receptacles. An ac count says: The new-fangled concern is a remarkable piece of ingenuity. The hopper, of the shape of an inverted pyramid, opens its wide mouth beneath the sidewalk chute into which the coal is dumped from the cart. The hopper holds about two tons of coal, and rest upon a set of levers supported by a heavy framework of wood. The levers extend to heavy scales capable of weighing several tons. The uho e structure is so adjusted that when the coal is dumped from the cart through the sidewalk chute into the hopper its weight is immediately registered by the scales. "Bosh" :'s the trade name in London for all butter substitutes. Pfieumatism J*** ^in IS CURED BY i Diamond Vera-Cura FOR DYSPEPSIA. AND ALL STOMACH TROUBLES SUCH AS Indigestion. Sour Stemacb. Heartburn. Nausea, OldrtinejB, Constipation. Fullness after Mtinsf, Food Rising in the Mouth and disagreeable taste after eating. ? trvousticas and Low Spirits. At Drvooistx and heater* or rent by mail on receipt ofy> cLi. (5 luxcr $1.00) tn itamps. Sample lent on rrcei'pf ofl-cent stamp. The Charles A. Vcgeler Co., Baltimore, Md nvn u-io CHOICE TEXAS LANDS Rare Chance for Settlers. The Railroad System of Texas having developed so as to bring within easy acccss of good interior and eoaboard markots the lands granted to the HOUSTON &TESAS CENT'L RY.CO. EenownedAgricult'l Lands Located along the line of tho Fort Worth A Denver City K. 11., beginning with Wilbarger County, comprising 209,000 ACRES In farms of loO acres and npwnrd. These land3*wero located by tho Company among the earliwt, with special care as to soil, timber and water. They aro adapted to the growth of cotton, corn, oats, wheat, barley, ryfi, vegetables, orchards and gardens and the varioiiB domestic grasses. Situated in the elevated and healthy region known an the Southern Panhandle of Texas, they possess a f/enial climate, favorable to man and beaet, where outdoor work can be carried on tho year round, and are in mnrked contrast with regions of early and late frosts or of destructive "blizzards." Population is fa9t pouring in, and local government is already established, with schools, churches, Ac. Tebms of Sale: One-fifth cash, balance in four equal yearly payments, with Interest on deferred payments. For further information as to these ana lands la adjacent counties, apply to J. IS. NAPIER, Vernon, Texas, (who Is prepared to show to purchasers); "or to c." P- GIBBS, Land Ag't, Houston, Tex. - f . ~ ' J A Street Annunciator. "Drop a nickel in the slot and learn what street comes next" is the latest application of the nickel and the slot distraction. Your nickel, however, goes into a conductor's pocket. The slot, nevertheless, exists, and your inquiry is answered just as effectually as though you saw your hard-earned coin disappear into the silver-plated lips of the silent monster. Over the door leading out to the dummy of each one of the Powell street cable cars is a device termed the "street unnunciator,'' being simply a neat little oaken box with an open glass face. Its position is such as to be in full view of all the passengers in the car. As the different streets arc approached narrow sheets of paper, upon which their various names are conspicuously inscribed, automatically unfold and drop into view under the glass and indicate the next street. A sharp click calls it to one's attention, as do also the words "the next street is" over the inscribed name. The automatic change of names is accomplished by an elevation of a few inches of the iron slot in whicn tne grip fits, occuring a few feet beyond each .street, and as tho car passes a slender iron rod extending beneath the car rises and falls, which, connecting with tho mechanism in the box, causes the roll of paper to unfold just fur enough to reveal the name of the next street. Tho invention is designed to save the vast quantities of breath on the part of passengers and conductors.--San Francisco Chronic1*. A J)elnsivo Telegraphic Code. She was going to Europe. He is a very rich man, Dut a millionaire will always make up a telegraphic code to save money. It would be nothing to him if she sent a hundred words in a telegram, but he will always get as much as he can for nothing anyway, and he will have a telegraph code. He left her to make out the code. She made one quite to the point on all important matters. She selected the words herjelf, wrote it all out, and handed it to him when she left. He locked it in his 3esk and it was a'.l right. Last week he s:ot a telegram from her. It consisted >f one word ?"Laugh." He laughed. [ It seemed to be something quite pleasant. His code was at the house. He went up there in the best of humor. He got out the code and he read this brief but em? nkatic lesend: "Laugh? Send me $500."?San Francisco Chronicle. A Family Gathering. Have you a father? Havo you a mother? Have you a son or daughter, sister or a brother who has not yet taken Kemp's Balsam for the Throat and Lungs, the guaranteed remedy for the cure of Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Croup and all Throat aud Lung troubles? If so, why? when a sample bottle is gladly given to you free by any druggist and the large size costs only 50c and SI There are over three hundred thousand beekeeiwrs in America. A Radical Cure for Epileptic Fit*. Tr> the E'litor?Please inform vour readers lhat 1 have a positive remedy for the above named disease which I warrant to cure the worst cases. So strong is my faith in it9 virtues tiiat I will send iree a sample bottle and valuable treatise to any sufferer who will give ice his P O. and Express address. Resp'y, H.G. ROOT. 31. C.. 183 Pearl St.. New York. Catarrh Cured. A clergyman, after years of suffering from that loathsome disease. Catarrh, and vainly trying every known remedy, at last found a prescription which completely cured and saved nim from death. Any sufferer from this dreadful disease sending a self-addressed stamped unvoiniio tn Prnf. .1. A. Lawrence. 88 Warren St".. N. wilf receive the recipe free of charge. Ifafflicted with sore evea use Dr. Isaac Thompson'?Ey?-water. Druggists sell at 25c.per bottle. pIlCATARRH I fe&ljj COLD IN HEAD. )L/JA I ELI'S CREAM Bill | ELY BKOS.. 56"Warrfiigt..N. Y Bwift tiSpr c.'.y cured meof malignant Blood Poison after I had b?-n treated in vain with old so-called rcmodicji of Mercury and Potash. S. 8. S. not only cured *lie Blood Poison, but relieved tho Rheumatism which was causod by tho poisonous minerals. GEO. BOVELL, W223.1 Avenue. N. Y. Nine years ?ko Scrofula attacked two of my children. and they were badly afflicted with the disease, which resistoa the treatment of my family physician. 1 was persuaded to use Swift'* Specific by seeing an account of cures in ray county paper. The improvement wa* apparent from the first fow done?, and in a short tiiiio my children wero cured, and ara still sound and well. JOHN WILLIAMS. Lexington, Va. Swire's Spectpic is < ntirely a vegetable remedy, snd is the only medicine which permanently euros Scrofula, Blcod Humors. Cancer and Contagious Blood Poison. Send for Books on Blood and Skin Diseases, real ed free. THE SAVIPT SPECIFIC CO.. Drawer 3. Atlanta. Oa. /5T5^, OS0 SBHfl B ^Sc!s. SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PURE COD LIVER OIL and HYPOPHOSPHITES Almost as Palatable as Milk. Containing the stimulating properties of the Hypophosphites combined with the Fattening and Strengthening qualities of Cod Liver Oil, the potency of both being largely increased, A Remedy for Consumption. For Wasting in Children. For Scrofulous Affections. For Ansemia and Debility, For Coughs, Colds & Throat Affections. I * fact, ALL diseases where (here Is an iniammatlon of the Throat and Lungs, a .TASTIXa OF THE FLESH, and a WAXX "T-mrn n/orr-D 41.J? ? thm tnnrtA l/r iiiijirii i unut, iwuiuiy w? equals this palatable Emulsion. SOLD BY ALL DRU0CI8T8. LOOK AT THIS! Cheapest and beet German* ,/-x Amerlcau Dictionary at '?<v\. the unprecedentedly low pricj of SI. fi'.M handsome paired, iS^SCxi bound In black cloth. KdkIIsIi /tL>< S \\ words with German equiva- y N o> lent* and pronunciation, and '/ Y>\ German words with Enelish 7^3*. Y -/\C definitions, so that if you hear ) >. 7 r a German word and want to ? y/mQ know it in English. Jfcu look in ^V.s>^3s. one part of the book-, while if 1 you want to translate an Enif- f\/i fx I\. lish word into German you look /*/\ intonnMherpart.Postpaid.fi. j.- \ HOOK PUB. HOUSE. 134 Leonard St.. N. Y. City MAKE CHICKENS FAY. If you !:now how to properly oaro for them. ForiiS com* instamps 1% f jru can procure a RW-I'AOK 1JOOK I /I y-w Kivilli: the <?>erience of a practl- 13/ / cal Poultry Kaiser?not an Rin?- m > tour, Imt a man working for <lo!-/ V lais and cent?during a period of^ .. T '.'6 years. It teaches you how to Delect and (Jure Diseases: to Feed for Etrgs and also for F?tteuing; | which Fowls to Save for Breeding I 1 Purposes: and everything, indeed, I 'i yon should knew c.n this subject to make it profit libit*. S-'cnt postpaid for "iTtc. DOOK PUB HO USE, 134 Leonard Strict, X. Y. City WANTED?Aw-nta to sell the only Automatic Music Leaf Turner. Everybody using Music must have one. Send 43 for sample or 2c. stamp for jircular. The Milltb Mubic Tprxeb Co.. Toledo. O. Agents wanted, $1 an hour. 50 new articles. Catl'gu0 and Bamplcs free. C. E. Marshall. Lcctport.N Y IJflffl LWoatbomeanl make more raoner working for aith?o fiVMll at n.Tlhln* el?r In fho world. F.itber ttz. Cottlr outfit fitk-t. Term* racc. addmt, Tble L Cn., Acjuiu, M*io?. - i-. * Now is tl To purify your blood and fortify ycrur system against the debilitating effects of spring weather. At no othar season is the bitter taste In the month more prominent, the breath to offensive, the drowsy dizziness so frequent, or that extreme tired feeling so prevalent. Hood's Sareaparilla is just the medicine to build up the system, purify the blood, cure blliousnesi and headache, overcome that tired feeling and create a good appetite. Try it this spring. "I have taken three bottles of Hood's Barsaparllla and consider it the best blood medicine I have ever taken." Mas. A. P. Lesghtok, Portland, Me. Hood's S; Bold-by all druggists, tl i six for ts. Prepared only by 0. L HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass. 100 Doses One Dollar nlSrldL 111 Is* | LONGFELLO who is? "Standing, with Where the broo Womanhood an Is a type of thousands of young girls w of their existence, as they enter upon table, stirred by strange, unknowable herself, our girls need the tenderest cai the aid of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Priscr critical period, during which, in too m tressing forms of diseases peculiar to tl kind will prevent all such diseases, or victim. Woman owes it to herself, to I well and strong. Let her then not nej Prescription " is a legitimate meuicme, and skillful physician, and adapted I purely vegetable in its composition ai condition of the system. Sold by dr Copyrighted, 1888, by World's Disp?n DR. PIERCE'S PE Uncqualed as a Liver Pill. Smallest, che Pellet a dose. Cures Sick Headache, Bllio Attacks, and all derangements of the Stomi Here It Is! .Want to learn all about a At Howe ? Hew to Pick Out a A yV Good One? Knowimperfee-^^A^"*1 tlona and to Guard against ^ .. Fraud ? Detect Disease and ^ Effect a Cure when same U f Y' .7?\^ possible? Tell the age by W ' " / \ he Teeth ? What to call Jtho Different Parts of ths Animal? How to Shoo a Hone Properly? All thli and other Valuable Information can be obtained b.' reading our 100>PAGE ILLUSTRATED HORSE BOOK, which wo will forward, j-o.it paid, on receipt of only 45 cents In stainps< BOOK PUB. HOUSE. 134 Leonard St.. New York City. C J apmfdc * ?1^ SAWMILL. With Universal LogBcam and Simultaneous Bel Works, also iingines.wood Planers. Manufactured by SALEM IRON WORKS. SALK.1I, N. C. 2d Cents Will buy a Treatise ox the Horse a.vd His Diseases Book of 100 pages, valuable to every owner of horses. Postage stamps taken. Sent postpaid. New York Horse Book Co., 134 Leonard Street. New York city. frizeo&s BEST IN THE WORLD UiltHOb Get the Genuine. 8old Everywhere. ITagItpij win au j+uoE n H HAW I I IIVRM 'VWRQIHHD'M B German Afithmn Cure never/aiii to give x'm-B mediate relief m the worst cases ,iE8ar<^ comfort . ablegleepieffoctacareswhereallotbersfail JM trial concintxt the mar. skeptical. Price 60c. aud 13 BBl.OO.otPruinriBtBorbymalL Sample FREEH DO YOU SEE THlX I WANT to hear onli/ from aenslblc men and women that are tired of bogus, deceptive, Xon-Senxtcal advertisements, offering much for nothing. That are willing to do easy, honest worK for liberal iiav. (Not peddlme). Add rets FKANKLIN PUTNAM, 483 Canal St.. N.Y. DETECTIVES fTiaUri la trerr County. Shrewd m?n taaei uc<ier iaitrnctloiB Inoortecrtt Borvioo. Kxpsrloaeo aot neoriiary. Particulars frea. Orannan Dotectlre Bnroau Co.44 Arade.CiflclmtlQ. DIaSh'a Dill* Great English Gout and Dial! 5 I IBIS Rheumatic Remedy. Ovnl Box, 34) round 14 Plllii. CONSUMPTION 1 have a positive remedy for the a bore disease; by Iti use thousands of coses of tbo worst kind and of long standing bare been curcd. So Ktrong; Is tr.y faith in its emcacr that I will send two bottles free, together with a valuable treatise on this (Ufioose toanv sufferer. Givo Express and P. 0. address. T. A. 5LOCU31. .M. C? 181 1'carl St. N. Y -rmATiri Sfly Piso'8 Care for ConI ID AT (IK^ sumption is THE BEST THIS MEANS YOU This Beautiful $125.00 Organ Positively Given Away. To tho first person sending us SI for il.1 packet* Seeds, 10 packets most beautiful FIowi Seeds,15 packetoof thechoiccst Vegetable See Beans, Peas, Radish, Parsnip, Tomato. Cul bnge, Onion, Turnip, Beet, itfusk Melon, Ci cumber. Celery, Pepper and Lettuce, one pack each. Remember, we m:ik?t yon a present of ti Organ as you get tho worth of your money in Sec We do this to vet every one readiu.tr this "Ad." buy their SeriUoiii". The onef-enditK the fir neiireHt guess as to the number ot trraiuser kernt in a li nil poiiuil ol Ciiilce > < ts ili? Orsaii. wlm will be bent by freight, -ccm-elr uncked, May is IKS. Write to-day. Scud postal note, money or.l or registered letter. We will not compete with liru selling olcl trashy seed* at cut rntes. We sell on the bent at rrasiinn ble priced. Address plainly, IRVING H. SW1NK, Seedsman, Bloomii Glen, BUCKS CO.. PENNA. Vour choice tiny 1 pnekets and cue guess, 30 cts. Send guess separate piece of paper, size of oostal card. Mc-nti< tJiia naiior n?FreaBBAin) I AfPlt ? -| 1S\] tba hardest atom |4 J\u Du R rlr oorera tfce ent!r? ? I *^AA Brand" trada-mar! _ _ m he Time "I wish <0 enroll my name u one of those who havo derived health from the nae of Hood'e 8am-; parllla. For manr years I hare taken It, especially In the early spring, when I am troubled with dial-' ness, dullness, unpleasant tas'.e ii my month la; the morning. It removes this bad taste, relieve? my headache and make i me feel greatly refreshed.! The two bottles I have use 1 this sprin* have beea worth a dollar a dose. 1 aJviso all my friends to take it." Johx Bisss, C03 43d Street, tovrn of Lakat Chicago, 111. j S'. B. If you decide to taie Hood s Sarsaparillad? I not be induced to buy any other. irsaparilla i Bold by oil druggists. $1; six lor |i. Frrpkredonly I by C. L HOOD ti CO., Apotkccaiies, Lowell, Maa, I 100 Doses One Dollar WS MAIDEN, reluctant feet, k and river meet, d childhood fleet!" ho are emerging from the chrysalis stage their "teens." Nervous, excitable, irriforces within them, each a mystery unto e, the most loving, patient oversight, and iption, to safely carry them through this any lives, alas, are sown the seeds of disic female sex. But this boon to womancure them if they have already seized a tier family, and to her social station, to be jlect the sure means of cure. * Jt avonw carefully compounded by an experienced - ; to woman's delicate organization. It is id perfectly harmless in its effects in any uggists; $1.00, or six bottles for $5.00. sary Medical Association, Proprietors. ' TTTinpQ. PURELY VEGETABLEand jjjjijj .L O. PERFECTLY HARMLESS. apeet, easiest to take. Ono tiny, Sugar-coated us Headache, Constipation, Indigestion, Billons ich and Bowels. 33 cents, by druggists. YOU NEED IT! "I have a hufro Dictionary, but it is so much work to lift it for examination that lam inclined to shirk looking out words. although desirous of knowledge. Your "HANDY DICTIONARY" is always bv me and I look out words on the Instant, so the Information I is impressed on my mind."?Corresp<md<nt. Webster's Illustrated ' HANDY DICTIONARY f$ Tbonsauda of Words Defined. , Hundreds of Pictures. Abbrc- y/iJ -iwL viatious Explained. Ordin- j ft ^KjF^ary Foreign Phrases Trans* /[ la!ed. Metric System of-'jiraQf} Weights and Measures. Printed in small, clear type, on fine laid paper; bound in handeome cloth. 320?PAGES 3SO > 'Who that reads doesn't every day come acroct i words whose meaning lie does not know, and which I he i annot pronounce ornpell? H?n<* the demand i for a moderate-sized Dictionary which cau be kept at hand always ready for reference. Such a hoi* will be used a hundred times as much as a large unwieldy volume, and therefore is u greater educator. As the Spelling and Pronunciation of many common words have boon cbanxed duriUK the last 38 years. pcoplo owning the old-faeliioncd Dictionaries need a modern one. Here it Is at a trifling cost Postpaid for 25c. in lc. or 'ic. stamp-. JtOOK PUBLISHING HOUSE. 134 Leonard St.i X. V. Citr? EBilACTOSIOADAT! if1-1 wjiR \ ?Hagents WAJTBDt ' :&vLaxi CIRCULARS Fin. .'\MtiWgSS ' iooo Brewster's Safety Esln J&Wri! Holders GIVEN A WA Y to intro' ns Zr'el dace them. Every horse owner bays i-'itfl 1 JMlij'K from 1 ton. Lines never under horse** f!|/S feet Send 25 ctB. in stamps toparpost ' a I II "KP and packing for Nickel Plated ' ICiC' iJ ?bT SalnP'e for 05 cents. Address jgHl^fetL Brewster Mfg. Co., Holly, Mich. f*% JONES 1 j KS? PAYS THE FREICHT, ioftiVN fJ . ? T?>n w aaon Scale* Jit&briVk/r lrtn Lcv?rs Steel Bearing, Brass Tare Beam and Heain Bot for SCO. (WE* V^ISSj V ETCr^ ^ Scale. For free pr.ee list n?nt:on this paper aud addrra? I JONES OF BINGHAMTON, __ PINGHAMTOy, y. Y. PFFR! Fft& IfeYFft 4K*ftJHS& CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH PENNYROYAL PILLS SET C30BS BIAliSHT S2ANI. A J/fTr?iK OrtataaL bat, oil/ gw nlai> and ,Qk\ it ji\ ViSjWl rfliablt pill for ?.i>. Never Fill. J*^Fm\ A*k for Chiehuctri L'naluhCr^ Tk\ "EL _~V' w,iDiamond Brand. In red me M ""-giTr* Em! 'alllc Horn, lealed wiib blue rlli- \Wy Si yvi b?n. Druggists. Accept \y / 1/7 no other. All pills Id pule v iJT board Loxrt. pink wrappen. are a (laager's*. KV out counterfeit. Sond 4c. (?timp?) ftr \ /Zi particulars and "Kcllef for Ladlea," <a f??ter, be return mall. 10,000 te?tl> monlWItfrom LADIES aare uiad them. Name Paper. Chichester Chemical Co?MadisonS<<..Phllt.,Pju i M I prescribe and folly ?dorse Big U as the oaly Cures in specific for the certain cur? . AVI TO 6 daTS.^B of this disease. OKumMl mi Ml O. H.IKGKAHAM, M. D., WW eaajo Striatals. Amsterdam, N. Y. urdonijbjth* We have sold Big G for I ITilt.... m.-inii fn many years, and it has I UJMraiOhiaJeilci^ ?lvea the beat of satia^ Clnclnsati^aM faction. D. B. DYCHE 4 CO..^ Tradi^^Mi^^a.-i>lgl.OQ. Sold by Drugglsty flft i#rn Tie Best ' iCKLHir 8UCKEB li w?rr?nt?d w?Hrrreof, tod will keep yon try la . Th# Daw POMMEL SLICKER II perfect rldlDff co?t, aa4 ddle. Bswftrs of Imitation*. Non? rtnnln* without U? "TUIl k. nitutritfd CkU'.oiut fire. Jl J. T*w?r, Beaton, Kim.