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BUDGET OF FIN1. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Not Quite the Same Thing?A Tewible Revenge ? Circumstances Alter Cases?A Kicking Mule Cured, Etc. Indignant Customer?"Look hero, I've 1 been waiting here for the last half hour." | Waiter?"That's nothing. I've been waiting here for the last two years, and I ain't kicking about it, either."?Hit'tingt. A Terrible Revenge. Gray?"Smith insulted me so terribly to-dav that I feel mad enough to kill him.'' Green?"What's the matter?" Gray?"Nothing. A mere matter of ten dollars I owe him for a couple of years or so. The mean fellow that he is, called me a swindler and a scoundrel, and a great many other names.'* Green?"And vou feel mad enough to kill him?" Gray?"I do." (ireen?"Then do it. Pay him his ten dollars and the surprise will kill him."' ?Boston Courier. CircumsS-ances Alter Cases. "See here. Garibaldi." said a gentleman who was having his boots shined, '"haven't you breathed aoout enougn ou those boots? I'm in a big hurry." Garibaldi hastily completes the job, and in response to a dime says: "Notta centa change." / ,'Well, go and get it.*' Garibaldi goes and gets two nickels, one of which he reluctantly turns over. "Caramba!" says Garibaldi," "ze signor in no too bigga hurry to w&ita for ze change."?JVr'c York Sun. A Kicking Mule Cured. A crowd of boys,men and women were surrounding a man, a cart and a mule up in Brewerytown this morning. The man was trying to induce the mule to pull the Anf nf fKo rnf Wr tVlO TTAV nf ill. ducement he several times attempted to hit the recalcitrant animal with a short cowhide. Ab the distance he kept was too respectful the mule was never touched, but he kicked all the same. "Yy, you don'dcure dot mool of kickin'?" asked a rotund resident. "Mnles can't be cured o' kickin1," replied the owner of the cart and animal. "Oh, yes dey can, my freund. ?fery / dime he dries to kick just ketch him py de hint legs fen dey are inde air. I know a man vot dried it uud he has nefcr seen a mool kick since."?Philadelphia Call. At the Panorama. Little girl: "Is that you, papa, on the brick-coloreJ horse that is up on its hind legs?" Parent?"Yes, my child, that is usually pointed out as me." "And did you cut that other man's head off and ride right straight over into the fort?" "Yes, my dear, I presume I did." "But o'amma didn't say anything *hnnt it. when I nsked her what vou did in the war." "Why, what did she 6ay?" (looking around at the spectators proudly.) "Oh, she said that all you "did that anybody ever heard of was to fool around and get kickcd by an army mule, and that now you haven't sense enough to gel a pension."?Dakota Bell. Not Sarab. A messenger boy who camc up Lafayette avenue Ihe other day found a young man waiting for hirn at Shelby street, and when the boy halted he was anxiously asked: "Well, did you deliver the basket of flowers?" "Of course." "Did she smile V "Not a bit." "She didn't? She must have seen the card." "Oh, yes, 6he read that the first thing, and then she called the cook into the hall and told her to heave the basket into the backyard." "Great Scots! But could that have been my Sarah?" "Oh, no, sir. It was your Sarah's mother."?Detroit Free Ptm. Forgot to " Beller." * . 3 a.! 1 1 LJ J An undemonstrative iiusuauu causi-u his wife some chagrin on board a train recently. A Chicago journal says that in a railroad accidcnt near that city a woman was shaken very severely and could not speak for some time, although conscious of what was taking place around her. Some of the passengers thought she was dead. Her husband feared so too, but instead of giving way to unavailable grief he flew around doing all he could for his wife's recovery. When she was pronounced out of danger she said, reproachfully: "John!" "Well, Samanthy?" "You didn't beller a bit there when they all thought I was dead." "Well, Samanthv,"said John, in some confusion, "ye see I was flying around trying to bring ye to. I didn't have no lllliC IV "Yes, John,'* said the old lady,feebly, with a suggestion of tears in her voice, "but couldn't ye beller u little bit now, John, jest fer the looks of things?" "Why, Saraanthy, if I was to beller now,folks would say I was doin: it "cause you was going to git well." "I never thought o'that," said the old j lady sadly. "J wish to goodness, John, j you'd bellered some at the right time! ! :Twor.ld have been real comfort in' to me.1' Not in Confidence. j "If you are going -around alone you I had better look out for confidence men," said the special officer at the Detroit, j Grand Haven and Milwaukee Depot to a j green-looking young man who was wait-1 ing to go to i'ontiac. "Oh, I know all about that racket," I replied the stranger, as he slanted his hat a little higher over his ear. "All right?don't blame me." The young man went up Brush street and was gone three-quarters of an hour, and when he returned he said to the officer: "I'll huve to wait over until to-morrow to get a check cashed." ''Have you got a check?" "Yes?look here. Lent a fellow $32 to pay duties on some horses and he gave me his check for $60. Purty good exchange for a greenhorn, eh? "Young man, you have been confideaced!" "No!" "But you have? That check is worthless ! I told you to beware of the confidence game." "And I did. No one has my confidenee. This was simply a business transaction. I lent him $32 in cash, and he gave me his check for $60. Where's the confidence about that!'' The matter was explained to him, and the way he started for police headquarters made i'he sidewalk smoke.?Detroit Free Pracs Ho Wont Back. Fie was a little fellow, not over twelve years old, and be was sitting behind ?. box over at the Umana uepoc mc ouil-i morning softly crying and looking very dirl^and forlun. " What's tho matter?"' tvc asked. "Hain't nothin" the matter," he said defiantly, sitting up straight, hastily | brushing away his tears and pushing back his jacket so as to display the handle of an old revolver in his pocket. Then he looked off across the river at the strange buildings and lost his bravery, and buried his head again and sobbed through his tears: u Oh, mister, Tve been a runnin1 away an' want *o go home." "Whatmade you run away?1' "I thought it would be nice, but it. hain't, no, it hain't,1' and he rested his face in his hands and looked the picture of woe. 4'Dick Dagger had heaps o'fun but I hain't had a bit.1' "Who was Dick Dagger?" "Didn't you hear o' him? He was the boy scout of the Rockies, ax1 I wanted to be llk-e him. There hain't Indians whafll hurt a feller round here, is the re P "Xo.-" UT w-Anl/ln^f eT?AAf */vm if TCJ19. Dick shot 'cm, but I don't -want to. I want to got back home, but mebby I uCVer -will again,'' and once more his tears flowed. "Where did you live?" "Oh, I lived uown at Marion, in Illinois, and it just about killed me riding in that old freight car, an' I hurt my knee, an' I'm cold and hain't had no breakfast, nor supper, neither. I wish I'd never heard of Dick?I don't 6ee how he got along so well?and if I ever get home airain and see my?my?my?" but the thought of his mother was too much for him. "I don't want to hunt Indians or bears or nothiri', nor rescue no maidens, an' I'm tired of that old thing!" and he pulled a rusty revolver out of his pocket that hadn't "been"fired for ten years and threw it across the track. " Please, i mister, git me something to eat, an' I'll work all day for you," and he looked up pitifully hnd straightened his little cap on his curly head. We took turn along ana ne axe mree or four meals in one, but ever after that he didn't say a word about exterminating the Indian. The next day a grave-looking .father arrived looking for a very homesick boy, and they went back together. So the Government lost another scout, but an anxious mother got back a boy who will never run away again.?Dakota Bill. A Cask That Holds 30,000 Gallons. I Work was begun in 1883 on the great wine tun of Toledo, Ohio, writes a New York Times correspondent, but the solid American oak of which it is built was drying in a kiln for six years prior to that. Its oaken staves are twenty-one feet long and six inches square. In the rough, six of them formed a load for a two-horee team. With the utmost nicety they were put in place until, as a whole, tbev measured over sixty feet in circumference. Through the centre of the tun, where it curves outward in a huge swell, it measures twenty-one feet; the diameter at the ends is eighteen feet. It contains 3(5,000 gallons of dry wine. To withstand the enormous pressure of this bulk, three iron rods are carried from end to end, where they are riveted in oaken beams of great size and strength. The Virionc nf iron TViprft ;irfi fourteen of them, and tbev weigh three tone. Each hoop i6 six inches broad and about a ' third of an inch in thickness. They are well groomed hoops, and shine as if in constant contact with an emery wheel. But everything about the great tun betokens the great care that is taken of it. Its oaken surface is polished to such a degree that the sun loves to creep in through the prison-like windows and dance upon its shining bulk. The huge brass spigot glitters like gold from the coiners hands. The oaken platform that faces its tremendous head, and the oaken stairway that winds around the base and enables the visitor to look down upon the mammoth, glisten under frequent coats of varnish. A blow upon this iron ribbed body makes no impression unless the ear be placed close to the wood; then the sound is like the last gasp of a thunder clap. Days and days were occupied in tilling it with catawba made from gra]X>s that grow on islands in Put in Bay, where Commodore Perry taught John Bull a lesson some years ago.' And when the tun was full, when 3G,000 gallons of wine had been poured into the vast interior, there was much rejoicing in the immediate vicinity, and all who witnpcsrul thf cnmnletinn of the rtrocess felt in duty bound to drink to the health of the Toledo tun, and to do so in such unstinted measure that the occasion is likely never to be forgotten by those who participated. Chinese Juveniles at Play. In and about the plaza, says ths San Francisco Chronicle, there is nearly every day a bobbing of little pigtails and a clattering of little shoes along the alleyways and graveled walks,and they are not the least pleasing of the sights and sounds in that neighborhood.One catches a glimpse there of Chinese juvenile life. The Chronic!# says: There is a Chinese game, however, that never fails to arouse the interest and envy of the white boys. It is played The game is to keep the cork in the air. The iir<t. player throws up the shuttlecock and before it again reaches the earth he twists his foot ana gives the descending objcct a kick with his heel, which sends it up into the air, sometimes as high as twenty feet. When it descends again he tries to keep it within the range of.his heel as long as possible, but the play soon fails to be exclusive; other bovs standing anxiously about manage to get a kick at it. sending it away from the first player, who then joins the outsiders in a general scramble to gain possession. Sometimes in the heat of the play, when the crowd is bunched together,the ?ehuttlccock is struck by the hand, but that is not allowable unless it is in danger of striking the giound before the heel can strike it. Expert players keep theirhands in their sleeves, hitting the feathery object only with the heel, and thus keeping it from the ground for hours at a time. Great skill is necessary for this game,and where American bovs have undertaken to play it with the heathen they have always cut* a sorry figure. The process is revived of applying strips of adhesive plasters along the margin of wounds, and by drawing the edges of the wound in apposition pass the sutures through the plaster only, thus avoiding the pits and creases left in the skin when the sutures are passed through the skin itself. The edge of the plaster along the margin of the wound should be folded upon itself, so as to keep the . piaster from the raw surface. 1 MliSKRAT HUNTING. THREE WAYS OF CAPTURING j THE WILY RODENT. A Muskrnt's Nest?Shooting the Lit- | I Ip Animals at N'iirlit?The Trap- ! per's Methods?Usmff the Destructive Spear. The large area of marsh land along the Patuxent liiver and its numerous inlets form favorite hunting grounds for muskrats, and they are now being captured in large numbers. Next to the beaver, the muskrat is one of the most ingenious of rodents in the construction of its houses, and its mode of life and habits are very I interesting. They select the low river | marsh lauds as their dwelling place, and I there they build their houses. A loca- j tion is>preferred which is flooded at high tide/ but which is clear of water at low I ebb, and every creek and almost every | little inlet to the river affords innumcr- I able positions that are favorable. After I /Irttnrmininff iirvnn 4-V*a nvo/tf nneifirtn nf I UV,l^i UfJVU t-A'V VAAUb |;Ui31llVU VI their house, the nits burrow leads or miniature tunnels from the water's edge ! at low tide to the spot upon which the house is to be erected. Then they set about collecting material for their dwelling. The tall canes and coarse marsh grass are cut down and pulled in place, and the marsh mud is used as a kind of mortar. A large circular foundation is laid, and the ground floor arranged on a level with the leads. This completed, an upward lead is made like a spiral stairway to the second floor, which is made into a room similar to the first, but of less circumference. A third and sometimes a fourth floor is built with tiie spiral lead running from the level of the marsh to the top of the house, each succeeding room being of somewhat less diameter up to the roof or dome, which acts as a water shed. The height of each floor from the level of the marsh is regulated by the successive heights reached oy me nae, me top noor oeing always I higher than the highest water mark at I flood tide. The rats are social in their habit9, audat extreme low ebb, when the accommodations are greatest in the houses, quite a number may be found in the same hut. At flood tide fewer are found in any one house, as the accommodation is limited then only to the upper stories, which are free of water, but these are all the more easily secured by the hunter. There are three ways by which the rats arc captured: By shooting, by trapping, and by spearing. A few may be secured at night by creeping as noiselessly as possible along the creek edges., and watching for them to crawl up on the bank to feed. In this they are very daiutv. Having secured a favorite root, they approach cautiously the water edge and dip it in and rub otf the mud, dip it in again and again until it is perfectly clean and suited to their taste, when it is no ton n'l'tK orirlnnf rolich nrnrirlnrl tViA ^UIWU 1TJVAA VIXMVUV iV/I^U, ^IVT 1UV-U ?*v j sportsman is sufficiently interested in the process to wait. A boat, however, is usually used, as the rats can be more easily and quietly approached on the water. In this case two persons occupy the same boat, the sportsman requiring a pusher, as in the case of ortolans. As this sport can only be engaged in at night, the sky must be comparatively clear in order that the sportsman may have the advantage of the moonlight, or, better still, bright starlight. A headlight with reflector is, however, sometimes used on the bow of the boat, and this arrangement is frequently quite successful during ! the darker nights to one sufficiently well j acquainted with the hunting grounds. Trapping is another of the modes by which the rats are secured. The traps are : made of boards about six inche9 wide and three feet long. These are nailed j together like an ordinary box trap, the. open ends being secured by swinging doors of wire network, fastened to the upper part of both entrances. These doors allow easy ingress to the trap, but, once in, the rat cannot get out without opening the door by pulling it to him, which secret they seem very slow to discover. These traps are put in the leads running from the houses to the water when the tide is at low ebb, and the rats are out feeding. On the return they crawl tVi/> Inn tic nncK anroinct nnn nf tVin ' U|. U.v .%???, ,,??u "o'"""" " wire doors of the trap, which immediately opens into the trap, but he cannot go farther, as the next door opens toward him. Before he can gnaw out, the tide makes up and he is drowned in ! the trap By having a number of traps, and watching the tides closely, a trapper ! can capture a large number in this way. ; The most destructive mode of capture j is by spearing. Four or five rods of iron ! three or four feet long are secured in a | cross section frame of wood or iron and their poiuts are well sharpened, and with this the hunter approaches the rat home as quietly as possible, as the inmates are constantly on the alert, and if alarmed will quickly run down their spiral stairway and run out into the leads. Stepping to the side of the house, he rushes up over it and plunges the spears down through it as far as he can push them. With a pick he pulls the house to pieces,and frequently finds two or three muskrats, and sometimes more, impaled by the spear.?. This destructive method is, however, not looked upon with favor by sportsmen, as I 4- 4/in/lp fn /I v! I'O fKrt r<l t O OWflr ib icuuo iu viiitg uuv iuvo unmj from the more accessible parts of the marsh. The muskrat is somewhat similar in appearance to his dry land cousin, but is incomparably larger. The brown muskrat, which is larger than the black muskrat, when full grown will measure twelve or fourteen inches from the tip of the nose to the root of the tail, and his rat-like caudal appendage sometimes attrinsa length of i eight inches. Muskrat skins are valuable for their soft, glossy fur, and are bought by traders at from six to ten cents each and sold to furriers. The flesh of the muskrat is said to be quite palatable, acd it is sometimes eaten. These river rats are speciticd by a peculiar kind of musk inclosed in a little firtty sack just under the skin in the lower part of the body. The muskrat season opens early in winter and closes in May.?Baltimore 6un. Too Much for the Dominie. An aged dominie way back in Illinois used to look carefully over his congregation every Sunday and note who was ab sent. Then Monday he would call on the delinquents and find out. why they were away. On Sunday he missed old man Cooney, and true to custom called on him the following morning. "Brother Cooney, you were not at church yesterday?" "Went fishiuV' said the old man, going right on with his hoeing. "Why did you stay away?" "Preaehin' too long." "Brother, there will be no preaching in hell " " 'Twont be for want o' parsons." And the dominie gave up calling on delinquents.?Inter- Ocean. In one of the French schools there is a natural magnet capable of lifting four times its weicht. THE HOME I'OCTOR. I The proper time for taking cod liver oil is ;it meals, just after taking soup. ! It is, also, tvell home cn the stomach if | taken the last thing on ?oing to bed. A medical authority says that in warm weather people will find their sys tems cleaned ana cooicu very com i on a bly and beneficially by swallowing ! goblet of fresh water, not iced, with a little table salt dissolved in it. For snake bites, says an eminent physician, various internal remedies may be recommended, of which the best is carbonate of ammonia in doses of ten or twcHty grains every half-hour. Friction to the surface of the body, with pieces of flannel dipped in hot alcohol, is also beneficial. These remedies cannot be applied too soon. Nuts would be valuable as food if they were "not so indigestible. They should always be eaten in extreme moderation, not after a hearty meal, but rather between meals, or with a light lunch,when the stomach has but little else' to do but to act upon them. If raw, chew them long and well before swallowing them. They are innocent <nough if wcl: iooked. Those who are fond of the cucumber, that too common causc of colicky and diarrheal attacks, should remember that in the raw state it is not a suitable ingredient of a heavy meal, ;is the quantity of woody fibre in it adds to the burden of the stomach already loaded, with all it can digest. If eaten at all it should beat lunch; then, if salt, pepper and vinegar are freely used to stimulate the secretion of the gastric juice, the cucumber occasions less disturbance.?Boston Herald. "It is not difficult to preserve yout health if you only knew what to take," i said an eminent physician, recently. "Your prescriptions, I presume," said his friend, jocularly. "You are wrong," returned the physician. "If you wish to live long pay ten visits to the grocer to one to the doctor. "When you feel ill change your diet, and always cat plenty of seasonable fruit. Strawberries in March are detrimental. Remember that nature fits your stomach for its burden. It is money out of my pocket to give you this advice, but I'm ricli enough to stand it??Philadelphia Call. Odd Means of Livelihood. One of the highest salaried skilled workmen in Chicago is an expert safeopener employed by a hrge safe and lock manufacturing company there. He was once a well known burglar, but reformed when released from the penitentiary a few years ago. He then secured employment with the firm under heavy bonds, and has b? 'ii with them ever since. The chief industry of Kilbourn, Wis., is the exportation of the trailing arbutus. The flowers are made up into bouquets, the stems being wrapped in moist cotton and tin-foil. They are then placed in boxes and nailed to all parts of the United States, including the &DUth and California, arriving there as fresh and fragrant as when gathered in the woods of Wisconsin. A citizcn of Pasadena, Call., kept the wolf from the door during the winter by furnishing the village druggist with all the horned toads he could capture. Altogether he brought in several thousand and received good pay for them. What the druggist wanted with them nobody eise kdows, dui ne is supposeu iu iii*\ c utilized the oil extracted from them in the manufacture of a patent medicine. Two men of Burnett, Wis., trapped 3,000 muskrats and sixty-five mink at Hairon Marsh last winter. They were paid eleven cents a piece for the muskrat skins, and sometimes received $1 each for the mink skins. Their receipts last season were $800. Other trappers on the "Wolf River, in Wisconsin, have been equally successful. One trapper caught 166 muskrats in one week and sold the skins in Oshkosh for eighteen cents a piece. A tramp recently arrested in Jackson, Mich., for disorderly conduct, was found to have a capacious wallet in his inside pocket, stuffed full of two-cent postage stamps, lie confessed that he had been making a tour of the State begging a stamp from every person he met, on the plea of wishing to send a letter to his wife. - When a stamp was not forthcoming he usually got two coppers or a nickel to buy one with, and was able to live in comfort on his revenue. A man in Birmingham, Mich., invested - " ii i- ~ i--.i _ ij i $<3U, an me money ue uuu in uiu wunu, in a double-barreled shotgun, on Christmas Day, and entered into a contract with a local restaurant-keeper to furnish him with an unlimited supply of fat sparrows at once cent apiece. The agreement has been Ihe cause of great satisfaction to each of the parties to it. The hunter has made more money per week than he ever cid before at his trade, and the reputation of the restaurant man's quail on toast, at 20 cents a brace, keeps his dining-room crowded. Many of the-Montana cowboys who were out of employment during the winter made a good living by "wolfing." Rangemen furnished the horses, rifles, ammunition, strychnine and free board to the "wolfers,'1 and the Territory paid the bounty, giving $3 each for mountain lions and bears, $2 for gray wolves and timber wolves, $1 for coyotes, ten cents for prairie dogs and five cents for ground squirrels. In addition the boys found a ready sale for the pelt of an animal, ranging from ten dollars for a fine lion or bear skin to ten cents for the hide of a prairie dog. Allen Landlords. Another immense body of land has been bought in the South by foreign capitalists for speculation. An estimate of the amount of land held by aliens in large hnrlips was made notion? since, and t.hf I following list prepared: Acres. An English syndicate In Texas 8,000,000 Holland Land Co., New Mexico.... 4,500,000 Sir Ed. Reed, syndicate in Florida. 2,000,000 English syndicate in Mississippi? 1,800,000 Marquis of Tweedale 1,750,000 Phillips, Marshall & Co., London.. 1,300,000 German syndicate 1,100,000 Anglo-Amer. syndicate,London.... 150,000 Byron H. Evans. London 700,000 Duke of Sutherland 402,000 British Land Co. in Kansas 320.000 W. Wharley, M. P., Peterboro..,. 310,000 Missouri Land Co., Scotland 800,000 Robert Tenant, of London 530,000 Dundee Land Co., Scotland 247,000 Lord Dunmore 120,000 Bengamen Neugas. Liverpool 100,000 Ix>rd Houghton in Florida 60,000 Lord Dunraven in Colorado <50,000 ifingush j^anuco., Florida 50,000 English Land Co., Arkansas 50,000 A. Feel, M. P., Liecestershire, Eng. 10,000 Sir J. L. Kay, Yorkshire, England. 5,000 Alexander Grant, London, Kansas. 85,000 English syndicate. Wisconsin 110,000 M. EJlerhauser, West Virginia 600,000 A Scotch syndicate in Florida 500,000 A Scotch syndicate in Florida 500,000 A. Boysen, Danish consul 60,000 Missouri Land Co., Edinburg 105,000 Total 30,777.000 ?Albany Courier. It is estimated that 12,000,000 trees were planted in Nebraska on the lirst Arbor Day in that State. Selecting a Canary. The main thing in selecting a young canary,is to take one with a long,straight, tapering body, and in nine cases out of ten you will have a good bird. But never buy a canary before hearing it sing. Go to a bird store, and watch carefully the birds as they sing. The bird man will soon be able to start theih, and then if you carefuily take notice you soon can ' detect which little fellow is the sweetest j and at the same time strongest in voice. Don't be in a hurry to select one with the loudest song. A moderate, sweet aud prolonged song is always the most ; attractive.?Godty's Lady's Boole. ; A remarkable needle is owned by : Queen Victoria. It represents the column j of Trajan in miniature. This Roman column is adorned -with many scenes in sculpture, which tell of the hcroic deeds of the Emperor Trajan. On the little needle are pictured scenes from the life j of Queen Victoria, but the pictures are so small that it is necessary to use a magnifying glass in order to see them. The needle can be opened. It contains a number of needles of smaller size, which ! also contain microscopic pictures. At Bieber, Lassan County, uai., r?siae? ->ji Thomas P. Ford, who writes: "I can truthfully say I hare used St. Jacobs Oil in my family for years, and find it a never falling remedy for all painful complaints." The most extraordinary growth in the West has been in Kansas City, St. Paul and Minneapolis, each of which is now a city of 1-10,000 or 150,000 inhabitants, of which twothirds have accumulated in seven years. Mr. F. E. Hu h. Adrian, N. Y.. says: "My father was v?ry lame with rheumatism. Now after using St. Jacobs Oil he is no lamer'than I am. He was cured." Price fifty cents. An English paper mentions the remarkable case of a child of two and a half years who, while eating a piece of bread, was savagely attacked by a game cock and so severely injured that it died from blcort poisoning. A Wonderful Machine nnd Offer. To introduce them wo give away 1,000 Selfoperating Washing Machines. No labor or washb-ard. Best in the wo.-Id. If you want one, write The National Co., 27 Dey St., N. Y. 'Royai? Glue' mends anything! Broken Chi. na. Glass, Wood. Free Vials at Drugs & Gro If afflicted with ?ore eyes use Dr. Isaac ThomoBon's Eye-water. Druggists sell at 25c. per bottle The best cough medicine is Piso's Cure for Consumption. Sold everywhere. 25c. Biliousness Ii mere geieral at thU season than any other. The bitter taste, offensive breath, coated tongue, tick headachs, drowsiness, dltslness and loss of appetite make the victim miserable, and disagreeable to others. Hood's SarsapariHa combines the best ant!bilious remedies of the vegetable kingdom, In such proportion a* to derive their best medicinal effects without the least disturbance to the whole system. This preparation Is so well balanced In Its effect* that It brings about a healthy action of the enUre human organism, restores the appetite, and overcomes that tired feeling. Dysoepsia and Malaria "I bad been sick for several years, being troubled ehlefly with dyspepsia and malaria. I had medical attendance, but only grew worse, until one day in February my wife brought me a bottle of Hood's Barsaparllla, which seems to have entirely cured me, as I have not been troubled by any ailment since taking It."?John Ebskine, Chllllcothe, Ohio. "Ihave taken not quite a bottle of Hood's S&rsaparllla and must say it Is one of the best medicines for giving an appetite and regulating the dlgestlv* organs that I ever heard of. It did me a great deal of food."?mrs. n. a. 8taslxt, Canutota, n. y. Hood's Sarsaparilia Sold by all dranlsU, $i: ?txfor$3. Praparal only by C. L HOOD it C<X, Apothecaries, Lowell, Mm 100 Poses One Dollar LIVER, BLO Mrs. Mast a. McCi I (VFH nitPiSP writes: "I addressed urcn UldUuL in regard to my heali IMn liver disease, heart tro ? *'lu , nesa. I was advised HriRTTnnilRIP Golden Medical Di? nun I IMJUDLC. aeration and Pelieta of the 'Prescription,' cry,' and four of the4 Pleasant Purgativo i fan to improve under the use of your med cam* back. My difficulties have all disappe all day, or walk four or five miles a day, and < I began using the medicine I could scarcely most of the time, and I did not think I cou I have a little baby girl eight months old. . delicate in size and appearance, she is healtl dies all the credit for curing me, as I took n< beginning their use. I am very grateful 1 thank God and thank you that I am as wi of suffering." bmbm Mrs. I. V. Wxbbxr. of Yorh I If- Y., writes: "I wish to saj LIVER of your 'Golden Medical Dis _ Purgative Pellets.' For 11\ HISPAQP taking them I was a gree UIOLAOu. govere pain in my right s unable to do my own work I am now well and strong, thanks to your Chronic Diarrhea Cured.?D. LaZj Decatur Street, Kew Orleam, La., writes: " the 'Golden Medical Discovery,' and It haj diarrhea. My bowels are now regular." "THE I Thoroughly cleanse the blood, which digestion, a fair skin, buoyant spirits, am Golden Medical Discovery cures ail hi poison. Especially has it proven its effii and Swellings, Enlarged Glands, and Eatij Rev. P. Abbtjrt How? NDISEST ON Church, of Silverton, N. inuiko i iuw fllcU5d wl^h catarrh ud i Uftlt KlntoKoB h/?iron fj% triflA i DUILi, I gJcjn| an<j j experienced HI OTRHFS I dullness. I began the DLUIUllb?a I Golden Mcdlcal Discov him for ?uch complaint time I began to feel like a new man, and air The * Pleasant Purgative Pellets' are the best tick headache, or tightness about the chest, mouth, that I have ever used. My wife coul floor when she began to take your ' Golder Now she can walk quite a little ways, and d Mrs. Ida M. Strong, of A HIP-JO NT little boy had been ti nir UUini disease for two years. Whi IlliCltC UB? Of your 'Golden Me< UIolIoL. ' pellets,' he was confined 1 not be moved without suffe now, thanks to your 'Discovery,' he Is able CONSUMPTION, 1 GOLD** Medical Discovert cures Coi ting and nutritive properties. For Weal ana kindred affections, it is A sovereign and purifies the blood. It rapidly builds up the system, and li "wasting diseases." Consumption.?Mrs. Edward Nxwtc Onf., writes: " You will ever be praised by ble cure in my case. I was so reduced tha given me up. and I bad also been given up bj went to the best doctor in these parts. He t * ? onlv a Dunishment in mv case, and woi treat me. He laid I might 1 ft .?h lln Hked. aa that was the only th nil hi lir bly have any curative ipower _ far advanced. I trlea the C th nip treatment, but I was bo weak iii wit* on mvstomach. Mv husband ^ give m0 Up yet, though hi everything he saw advertised for my complal tity of your' Golden Medical Discovery.' 11< and, to the surprise of everybody, am to-day and am entirely free from that terrible cough night and day. I have been afflicted with rheu of years, ana now feel so much better that ] tlnuation of your' Golden Medical Discover to perfect health. I i^ould say to tbosq who that terrible disease consumption, do not do thing else first; but take the 'Golden Medic early stages of the disease, and thereby save fering and be restored to health at once, still in doubt, need but write me, inclo6i addressed envelope for reply, when the fore be fully substantiated by me." Fleer Cnred.?Isaac E. Downs, Es<i. Rockland Co., X. 1*. (P. O. Box 28), writes: Golden Medical Discorery is Sol WORLD'S Dl Why did th of this country use over th\ Procter & Gamble's Lenox S( Buy a cake of Lenox and you i For the Ladiea. Langhter i.s the poor miwi'? piaster, flaking every burden light; Turning sadness In'o it aines". Darkest hour to May dawn bright 'TIs the deepest and the cheapest Cure for ills of this descr.ption, But for those that vfo uan's heir to. Use Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription." Cure3 all weaknesses and irrecu'arities,"bearing down" tea at ions, 'internal fever," bloa'Ing, disp'acements, Inflammation, morning sickness and tendency to eanrerons disease. Price reduced to one 'U>llar Hv druggists. The most, obnoxious form of "light literature is a gas b 11. _ I Had a Dreadful Cough* And raided a considerable amount of blood and matter: besides. 1 wa< very thin, and >-o weak I could scarce y po abou the house. Th's was the oa?e of a man with consumpti n ar sine from liver complaint. He recovered his health completely by the use of Dr. Pierre's "Golden Me ileal IJi covery." Thousands of others bear similar testimony. A man born at se i cannot be proud of hlinative land. * * Delicate Diseases, affecting male or female, however iniuc:d. speedily and permanently cured. Illustrated bo >k for 10 cents in stamps, woriu's uispensary ^jeaicai /tnix-iir tion, 663 Main Street. Buffalo, N. Y. A turtle dies hard, especially the upper part of h'.m. - Gold fields, That pan out richly, are not so abundant as in tue aarly California d?ys, but tho.e who write to Hailett <fe Co., Port anil. Maine, will, by return ma 1, receive free. lullinlormationaoout work which they can do and live at home, wherever they are loc i e l. that will pay tnem from $5 to ?26 per dav and upwards. Either Bex, younjror old. Capital not requ'red; you are staited in business free. Those who start at once are absolutely sure of sn; g iLtle fortunes. COCKLE'S ANTI-BILIOUS PILLS, THE GBEAT ENGLISH HEMED Y For Ltyer. Bile, Indigestion, ete. Fre? from Mtr eury; contains only Pure vegetable Inrr-dlcut* Kent: C. N. CitlXTKNTON, N?W York. ""~~' NYU 0?iO ACENTS WANTED fortho LIFE OF HENRY WARD BEECHER by Thos. W. Knox. An .lu:hentle sad Complete History of hi* I.If* and Work from Hi*- '"radle lo the Grave. OutHii<*ii?tkrn ie t? i. The ?fc>T and (IIKirEsT. Splendidly illustrated. SrlU like wllilUrr. IUflance no hindranco for w? pay the frWcbt adJ 51,f Liln Trnwi. Send for circular. Addrem IIAlti Xllt!) I'I'K. CO., Hartford, Conn. PATENTS F. A. LEHM ANN, Solicitor or patkww, WajhlnetOD, D C. No charf unlet* patent Issccured. beud for Circular MPUOinilP Officers* pay. bouaty pro IIH |1\|| IIVN cured; deserter* relieved. MLIlWlUllw, 21 years" practice. Success or I do fee. Write for circulars and new laws. ? A. W. McCormtck & Son. Washington,D.C. Beward Ibi a?y $1000 Mental or Phyalcal Wrakaeii that Botanic Herr* Bltt?rs fail tocura. SOCta. Uarb Medieint Co. 15 K. litis au. fbilUtlrhia, Pa. Sold by all Drug gift*. FRAZER^M BEST IN THE WORLD UllbfluL |y Get the Genuine. Sold Everywhere. n a TTMTC Obtained. Send stamp to. UA I til I 3 Inventors'Guide. L. Bixo i ham. Patent Lawyer. Washington. D. C. REGULATE Bowels & Purify Blood. Dr. Balrd'a Blood Granules. ?>o.; 5 boxes (1. Of drugg.uts: or by ma.1, prepaid, luz. Baihi, Washington, N.J. nnillU Huliit Cured. Treatment sent on trla UrIUffl HUUA.VE REMEDY CO., Lafayette. Ind pi S LIC iraaa naaina bd1??i Don't wasto yonr money oi lUmped with th? abort a(jSOlutely unter and irt'inl ] THiPB MIRK. Asklortl]?"FISH BRAND' lot have the "nan iiuwd". send for d?v:r|jatiye^ati nn amr i iiMfi VI# Mill# kVllU L.URM. Columbia, Kant., Mrs you in November, 18S4, hPUPRil Lochiy th, being afflicted with OtRtML uble, and female weak- flcDII IT* sore t I to use Dr. Pierce a UtolLITf. My liv x>very, Favorite Pre- fcaKnananJ dygpet , I uwd one bottle Medical Diacoveiy* i ' five of the ' Discov- ailments and I cannt Pellets.' My health be- gay a word in refere icinc, and my strength ^as proven itself a i wed. 1 can work hard it haa been used in r rtand it well; and when _ , _ walk across the room, ^ Dyspepsia.?JAi) Id ever feel well again. Minn- writes: I wa Although she is alittle heartily and grow poo tiy. i give your reme- bout stomach, and^ m > other treatment after to Invigorates j| TBE ItrSTEM. S3 covery'and 'Pleasant 77 __ ?ui re years previous to do?? ?n *h? same lei it sufferer; I had a tdloine that seem* ide continually; was the whole system eqt :. I am happy to say Dyspepsia.-The medicines. "j was troubled one i*r?. Esq., *15 and W "leeplegsness, but you 1 used three bottles of Chilla and Fev< I cured me of chronio writes: " Last Augusi I took your 'Discover; ILOOD IS THE is the fountain of health, by using Dr. Piei 1 bodily health and vigor will bo established imors, from the common pimple, blotch, or i cacy in curing Salt-rheum or Tetter, Fevertig Ulcers. uj, Paetor of the M. E. can walk with th< J., says: I was af- Paln- ?nd can eat and ndigestion. Boils and about three months e on the surface of the J And words v a tired feeling and benefit he has receive use of Dr. Pierce's ery as directed by 5H a, and in one week's I A TlTDDIDir I ? ' i now sound and well. I A tnHIOLt I An* I Icci mtinu I of a , "?? I ?! I U1M I IWI1. | d not walk across the Dear i Medi^ DlBcover^.' the whole of lo some light work. attacked the elbows a irmcorth, Ind.. writes s After being treated b; oubled with hip-joint comraenwd the uM O ;n he commenced the began to meia? lical Disco verr' and A ATB?8^of SUr"^ SSI'"SiS ?*5S r<irAtKov. to be up all the time, WEAK LUNGS, SPI1 lgumption (which la Scrofula of the Lungf), b; t Lungs, Spitting of Blood, Shortness of Brc remedy. While it promptly cures the se\ 1 creases the flesh and weight of those reduce ,K' *ff Harrotfjmjthi ^th6thigh7 Affer trj P? fQjJheremarka- procure<i three bottles it my friends had all P rfect]y ? Mr. Down! r two doctors. I then J old me that medicine Consumption ^ Cod Uver^Hf I thank you for the rem ing that could posai- blP, , sr^"?hs Wasted to j Skeleton. ;s b had bought for mo Umm* hopj,, int. procured a quan- took flve months' trca jok only four bott les, n)m08t discouraged: co doing my oWi^orK, 'but the third month-1 i which harrassed me cannot now recite how imatism for a number return} health grad win be restored" T_^day f tlR the scales i S&WI "}j < ial Discovery' in the j 114 lf; Golden Medi< a gTOilt dral of 8?f- ' PunanMBMH Infjr a stamped. ? i; 11 Bleeding I -j* galng elatrmeat will | ^ ^ g , of Spring Valley, : abe ] "The'Golden Medi- ' diacontinuod it." Id by Druggists. Price $1.00 per Bol SPENSARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATII No. 663 JM 117". !. e vv omen i irteen million cakes of ?j jap in 1886 ? r.] A*il! soon understand why. S OUB FIELD IS THE WORLD. Rochester, N. Y., March 17,1838. Pardee Uedieine Co. Gzrrrlimen:?I have snffereil with Rheumatism in my shoulders and andl for nearly four yeai-s. I hare tried many rtmedies, including Rheumatic Syrup, none of. which helped me in the least. I finally tried Dr. Pardee's Rheumatic Earned y, and I experienced almost immediate relief, and continuing its use, I am SO trail pleased with the results that I most cheerfaS}' recommend it to others. I am most respectfully yonrs, A. WAND ELI* Grooer, 81 Row* St. Inflammatory Rheumatism enreA After all the Physicians Failed. Suspension Bridge, V. T. Pardee Medicine Co. Gextlemzn:?I cannot let the opportunity pass without testifying to my appreciation or your valuable medicine. Aa is well known to all in this community, I waa for yean a &nffar?r fi*nm Phanma^km mt times being confined to my house for eeverel weeks, and totally incapable of helping myself. . , I have received the attendance of i i?erel of our best physicians and have tried everything; in the shape of rheumatic modfgfno that was recommended, or that I could hear of, but without benefit. It was during one of these attacks that I was induced to try Dr. Parpxx'8 Rhkuxa tic Rkxesy, and before I had flntshad tin second bottle I was so much improved, the) 1 felt no pain whatever. I contained its ase, and now I am as well as ever. I take great pleasure in recommending it tl . all rheumatic sufferers, as I believe it to tl the very best article of the kind in this, el any other country. I am, goutleuieu, vours most respectfully, GuTTLOB MURB. Ask your druggist for Dr. Pardee's Rone j ily and take 110 other. Price, $1 per bottle I six bottlts. $ ">. Pardee Medicine Co.. Rochester. N. Y. MASON & HAMLIN IMPROVFn UPRIGHT PIAN08 The new mode of piano construction invents* by Mason & Hamlin in 1882 has been fully provsd, many excellent experts pronouncing It the "great eit Improvement made in pianos of the century." For full information, send for Catalogue. MASON k HAMLIN OBGAN AND PIANO 00, BOSTCH. 154 TwairttS* VZ^TSiX. 46 frutmBt. ?' a to Soldiers ? Heirs. Send stun Pancinner circulars. COL. L. BJ5? I PilSimij HAM. Att'y, Washington. D. 0 '9# f 1% Is Tie Best / If r k Waterproof Coat IVbll EraMaie. ; i a (pun or rubber coat The PI8H BRAND ELICKEI raoor, and wilt keep you dry in the hardest storm. ' succxa and take no other. If your storekeeper dom Uncu^^OOUm DISEASES. ~ Paruwxi Bruhdagk, of ltl Lock Street, art, N.. Y. write#: " I was troubled with nervous and general debility, with frequent hroat, and my mouth was badly cankered, er woe inactive, and I suffered much from )Sia. I am pleased to say that your 'Golden ind 'Pelieta' have cured me of all the* )t my enough in their praise. I must noe to your 'Favorite Prescription,' as it most excellent medicine for weak frmtiM, ay family with excellent reaulta." es L. Colby, Esq., of Yucatan, Houston Cos troubled with indigestion, and would eat r at the same time. I experienced heartburn, any other disagreeable symptoms common that disorder. I commenced taking your >lden Medical Discovery'. and 'Pellet*/and n now entirely free from the dyspepsia, and in fact^ healthier than I have been for i years, jl weign one nunurea aca evcniyi and one-half pounds, and have done ai ch work the post summer aa I have ever agth of time in my life. I never took d to tono up the muscles and invigorate lal to your 'Discovery' and 'Pellets. " :resa A. Cass, of Sprtngjldd, Mo., write*: year with liver complaint, dyspepsia, and r 'Golden Medical Discovery' cured me."< sr.?Rev. H. E. Mo slit, Montmorenci, S. CH 1I thought I would die with chills and fever. y' and it stopped them in a very abort time." : LIFE." ce's Golden Medical Discovery, and good r. eruption, to the worst Scrofula, or bloodeorea, Hip-joint Disease, Scrofulous Sorts 5 help of crutches. He does not suffer any sleep as well as any one. It has only been Ince he commenced using your medicine, rith which to express my gratitude for ths d through you." tin Disease.?The14 Democrat and New*," Cambridge, Maryland, says: "Mrs. Ftj7* r Poole, wife of Leonard Poole, of ffilslrurg, Dorchester Co., Md? has been cured bad case of Eczema by using Dr. Pierce's len Medical Discovery. The disease aped first in her feet, extended to the knees, the lower limbs from feet to knees, then md became so severe as to prostrate her. 7 several physicians for a year or two sh? f the medicine named above. She sooo now well and hearty. Mrs. Poole thinks 1 her life and prolonged her days." East New Market, DorcliaUr County, K&, facts. TING OF BLOOD. y its wonderful blood-purifying, taviaromath, Bronchitis. Severe Coughs, Asthma, erest Coughs it strengthens the system d below the usual standard of health by id my daughter of & very bad ulcer located ring almost everything without success, we of your ' Discovery, which healed it up i continues: id Heart Disease.?"I also wish to arkable cure you have effected in my cast, three years I nad suffered from that terridiseaee, consumption, and heart disease, re consulting you I bad wasted away to leton: could not sleep nor rest, and many i wished to die to be out of my misery. I consulted you, and you told me you had s of curing nie. but it would take time. I tment in all. The first two months I was iild not perceive any favorable symptoms, began to pick up in flesh and strength. I r, step by step, the signs and realities of ually but surely developed themselves, at one hundred and sixty, and am well *e in curing Mr. Downs' terrible disean :al Discovery." ieph F. McFarland, Esq.. Athene, Leu, s: "My wife had frequent bleeding from ungs before she commenced using your ien Medical Discovery.' 8he has not uuy since its use. For some six raontlis lias been feeling so well thpt- she has ttle, or Six Bottles for $5.00. ON, Proprietors, [aln Street, BUFFALO, N. Y. IPiso'B Remedy for Catarrh Is the Be6t, Easiest to Use, and Cheapest. Sold by drnrrists or sent by maiL^B 50c. E. T. Hazcltine. Warren, Pa. Q iss:?'"K^Bnnfbe FR ?1*. orrielh-ioua, *park- IIW I lltLll nif, whul<dOi\'> i rverogo. SoM by <lrusgl?ta; mailed r 2 c. C. K. Ml . KS, 48 XDola. Ave., Phi la , Pa. fc p to ?fi a day. Sample* wortb $L5o I'BEK a 1% Un?-p not under the horse'i feet. Addreaa iv wf-wi.tub's MtritTV Keis Holder, Holly miofc