The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, July 07, 1886, Image 6
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i
WISHES.
Whatever you want, if you wish for it long
With constant yearning and fervent desire.
If your wish soars upward on wiugs so strong
That they never grow languid and never
tire,
Why, over the Storm-clouds and out of tbe
A ofV
It shall come flying some day to you,
As the dove with the olive-brauch flew to the
ark;
And the dream you have cherished, it shall
oome true.
Bat, lest much rapture should make you
mad,
Or too bright sunlight should, strike you
blind.
Along with your blessing a something sad
Shall come like a shadow that follows behind.
Something unwelcome and unforeseen,
Yet of your hope and your wish a part,
Bh&ll stand like a sentinel in between
The perfect joy an I the human heart.
I wished for a cloudless aud golden day;
It came; but I lookel from my windows to
see
A giant shadow which seemed to say:
"If you ask for the sunlight you must take
me."
Oh, a wonderful thing is the human will
When serving one purpose and seeking one
end;
But I think it wiser just to sit still
And accept whatever the gods may send.
?EUa Wheeler Wilcox.
A TERRIBLE NIGET.
? 1
STORY OF THE MICHIGAN PINERIES.
There were four of us college boys and \
Raymond, the engineer of a shingle-mill
?t On!a :agan. We had been boarding
it his house. The mill hai shut down
for a few weeks, and h.* h:id gladly joined
In our tramp, eager as a b >y for the free ]
life of the woods. ]
"We had found an old lumber camp for (
our camping-place. Before it our lire ]
was burning. Kaymond was the only |
imoker in the party. He tilled his pipe j
?nd leaned back upon the pile of hemlock i
bought to watch the inoou come climbing ]
Dver the tops of the trees. j
It was nearly twenty years ago, boys,
be^an liaymoud, just after the war, that i}
I w nt to work in a lumber camp on th : ^
lluskc.ou river. I was a young fellow ?
then, too light for an ax, and they put t
me to driviug the to-e-ream. It wa< a ?
tiresome lonely life. I can tell you. A t
fellow had to he out in all kinds of
weather with no company but his horses. r
Many times have 1 spent the night on the j
road with t ic wagon stuck iiist in the j *
mud, or with a big tree blotvn down 1
tcro^ the read. }
There was only one house on the road
between the town and the camp. That t
was a little log cabin where old man Bil- a
lings live.l with his wife and daughter.
It got so that I couldn't get by that place i
" without slopping for a drink of water or
to ask the old man some question I made (
op on the ro.id. Ti;e horses got so they'd i
itop right in fr.jnt of the house every t
trip. i
We had the roughest crew in camp
that I ever saw. There was nothing too s
mean for them to do, aud they got the a
upper hand on the bo3s, and so had j 8
,v things their own way. i
One morning I got up early to feed ray | f
uuioco ou x wutu yui a gyuu i auu
reach Billings' in time for breakfast, g
Four of the roughest men in camp fol- \
lowed me out to the stables and asked me t
right out if I wo ild smuggle a jug of s
whisky back with ray load. It was dead i
gainst the rules, and I knew it, but |
when they told me, in so many words, j
that I didn't care to do it, I was foolish ]
enough to promise. As things happened, 1
It's a good thing perhaps that I did it. i
I bought the whisky and .-t irted back l
to camp just after dinner, I had two
passeng<is. They were the quietest ]
workmen in camp, go ;ds friends of mine, 1
both of them. They knew nothing about ]
the whisky, and I was ashamed to te'.l i
them about it. <
The thiug never would have happened i
anyway if my wagon seat had held. It
broke down just as we reached the middle :
of the little hill in front of old man Bil- i
lings 8 house. I had my feet out over the i
front of the wagon when it broke, and I i
fell flat under the horses feet. They
topped as soon as they could?I could
trust them for that?but before the i
wagon came to a stand the front wheel
ran over my leg, and I could hear it snap J
UKe a SUCK. :
Charlie and Ben both jumped to the
ground in time to save themselves. They
pulled me out from under the load aud
laid me on scm~' grain sacks at the top of
the wagon. It was only a few rods down
the hill to the house. Charlie drove the
horses on while Ben held me in the wagon.
We drove right into the yard, and 1 tell
you I felt bad when Mary Billings came
to the door with her big eyes wide open
/with fright.
The girl was all alone in the house.
Her father and mother had gone to town.
She was not afraid to be left alone. As I
lay on the ba^s I could s-.-e, standing in
<he corner, a bright shot-gun.and I knew
he could use it if necessary. i
The boys carried m<j into the kitchen
and put me down on the lounge by the
stove. Oh! how my leg hurt D>e! I be- 1
gan to feel faint and dizzy as they tried
to move my foot. The awful grating of :
that broken bone tilled me with a terrible
feeling. The boys did their best to
make me comfortable. Charlie proposed 1
taking one of the horses to ride back to '
town after a doctor. <
He had even started for the door to
carry out this plan when the room seemed
suddenly to darken, and great flakes of
now ca ne with a quick rush against the
windows. As he opened the door the
thick, blinding storm swept in up >n us
with a wild fury. The storm was as
fierce as it was sudden. We were shut j
up in the midst of a whirlwind of snow,
that hid even the road and the passage
under the trees.
There was no help for it. The boys
drove the wagon undt-r the shed and unhitched
the horses. Then they came
back to the kitchen, where we all sat
watching the storm. It grew darker and
darker, jmd at last Mary lit the lamp and
put the supper things on the table. I
lay and watched them with thnt awful
* faint feeling on me.
At last I spoke out the thought that
was on my mind :
"I wish I had a drink of that whisky,
boys
Mary dropped the plate she was carrying
and looked at me so queerly that I
was ashamed of myself for speaking. I
wished I had bitten my tongue off before
I had let her know of that part of my
load.
"No, I don't, boys! I was only fooling,"
I said, as quickly as I could: but
thej looked at each other eagerly and
then at m?. In a few minutes they started
out to feed the horses.
"Oh, what made you tell them about
it?" Mary almost cried as she came over
to where I was lying. We were great
friends, you see. It wasn't for the old
man's talk or the water alone that I had
stopped there so frequently.
"iney ar gooci lenows?tncy wuuv
drink too much. You will be safe with
them!" 1 said, but she would not believe
me.
' If I can't trust my own father alone
with such stuff, how can I trust them?"
she said; and she was right, for Charlie
and Ben both showed by their manners,
when they came in, that they had found
the jug. Their eyes were bright and their
voice* were a "little thick. They were
lavish in their attentions to me, but they
handled my leg with singular roughness,
and Ben nearly fell over the lounge.
After supprr they made another trip to
the barn and came back surly and ugly.
They took their seats by the stove with
their hats on. When Mary went past
them with a pile of di hes Ben tried to
catch her by the arm. I couldn't stand
that.
"You miserable scampi" I shouted,and
tried to get up from the lounge, but my
feet gave way under me and I fell back.
I could not move.
"Bring me that gun," I said to Mary.
1 do believe I would have killed them
both if I could have got that gun in ray
hands. But, before she could stir, Ben
rose with a fearful oath and walked un- |
steadily to the corner where the gun %vas
standing. He rai-ed the weapon in his
drunken hands. I could hear the lock
click as he walked ur> to me and pointed
the gun within six feet of my head. I
tell you, boys, if you want to see death
you want to look i ito the muzzle of a
Ioaiod sh?t gun with a d unken man at
the other end. Could this be the friend
who had carriod mr; s.> tenderly but a
few hours befor -? What a cursed thing
this whisky must be that could change
him thus!
He held the gun in front of me for a
moment and thtu dropped the muzzle to
the floor.
v vuij, vaaiiiu^ o.iiu, uiiivi^t
"let's go and get another drink."
He reached the door and opened it.
The wild, biting storm blew directly into
(lis face; with a snarl of rago he raised
lis gun and tired both barrels at the
>j>en door. Then clubbing the weapon,
le struck desperately at the snow, and
;hen rushed out into the storm as if fightngsome
unsein enemy. Charlie followed
lim, yelling at the top of his voice, and
Vlary quickly closed the door and bolted
t.
Charlie brought my miserable jug with
lira. He put it down beside the stone
vith a wild laugh; then he glanced
(agerly around hiin. "Where is that
jal?" he demanded, roughly. He staggered
to my side and repeated the qucs:on.
"She's gone," I answered, trying to
aise myself on my elbow.
"You lie!'' he shouted, in his thick,
>rutalvoice. "You lie! She's here
fou've got her hid somewhere?bring
ler out!"
He started a<? if about to drag mc from
he lounge, when suddenly a new thought
leemed to strike him.
"Bring the jug here, Ben, and we'll
uake him drunk!"
Ben unsteadily poured out a quantity
>f the whisky into a dipper and brought
t to the lounge. "With a curse he caught
nc by the arm to pour the drink down
nv throat.
I never can tell just how I did it, but
lomehow I brought my sound leg up
igainst his breast and kicked him as hard
i3 I could. He staggered back, and fallng
upon Charlie, carried him to the
loor.
Then (hey began to fight. They
iecmcd to forget ull about me, and atacknl
each other just like dogs. Over
he floor they rolled like brutes, kicking,
itriking, tearing and biting, with horible
sounds which no one could suppose
would come from any human throat.
<V.t times they fought up against my
ounge; once they fell across my broken
leg. Then they rolled over the floor, up
xgainst the table where the lamp waa
i>u ruing.
At last they rolled up to the stove.
Ben lay underneath, Charlie's hand fell j
ipon a stick of wood under the stove.
it r?J :l i.ui~?, I
nurui>:eu it uuu ^struuiv. vivw miui uiun
it Ben's f?cc, till the hands stiffened
out, the neck turned and the chin
dropped down horribly.
Charlie desisted at last and came back
to me. lie staggered toward me, muttering
as he came. I threw myself back
till ray head pressed against the corner
of the wall. lie had ine at his mercy.
He stopped within three feet of me,
steadied himself and raised an ax high
above his head. May I be killed before
I ever live another five seconds like that
again. I could see the ax coming nearer
and nearer through the air. I could
he ir it cry. My head felt as though a
red-hot iron had been drawn across the
place where I knew the blow would
fall. I could not close my eyes.
The drunken arms missed their aim.
The ax swerved and plunged into the
log wall within an inch of my head. I
could feel its cold side against my cheek.
Before Charles could draw it out for
another blow the door of the other room
fl nnf Anan finrl Mortr unf-inff lilro o
Uln vfvu? i*4*vl ?
panther to my side She gave the drunken
man a push that sent him sprawling.
Befor; lie could rise she placed her little
foot on his throat and pinned him to
the floor, till I could pull out the ax and
atun him with a blow from the handle.
She turned him over on his fate, and
tied his hands behind him with a towel.
Then, for the first time, she screamed,
threw herself into a chair, covered her
face with her hands, and began to cry.
I want you to keep in mind, boys, the
picture I looked at as I lay helpless on
that lounge. The lamp was bright and
I saw it all. One man with his still face
one mass of bl< od and horror, the other
flat on his face muttering and cursing in
drunken stupidity, and that girl sobbing
as though her heart went out with every
sob. How do you suppose I felt when 1
thought that it was that miserable whisky
that had done it all? Do you wonder
that I would sooner sleep with a mad
dog in the house than to know that a
companion of mine had that which
changed my friends into murderers?
Raymond paused. The moonlight still
streamed in over him. His face was hard
and stern, as though he had lived again
that dreadful night. We could say nothing
in reply. Frank broke the silence
at last.
"That was a mighty plucky girl,
tVionrrli- T wrmdnr what became of her."
Raymond's face grew lighter. 4,I guess
I can tell you about her," h? said, with
his old laugh. "You see the company
made up their minds that I needed watching,
and as Mary wanted a job, she took
me in charge for life. I don't know
which makes me hate whisky the most?
the memory of that fight or the promise
I made her just before her father and
mother came back in the morning. ?
Herbert W. Collingwood.
Between New York and the Gulf of i
Mexico there are only four natural entrances
to harbors where the depth at
mean low water is over sixteen feet,
while the largest ships draw from twenty-six
to twenty-eight and a half feet. |
^ .
ONE BLIND MAN.
REMARKABLE CAREER OF A
SIGHTLESS OHIO RESIDENT.
Losinir His Siicht in Boyhood?Study'
itie Law?Editing Newspapers?
Elected Mayor of Youngstown
?Visiting Distant Cities.
A Youngstown (Ohio) letter to the New
York World says: Ex-Mayor Campbell
is a blind man of whose achievements
people are justly proud. Walter Lowrie
Campbell is as remarkable a personage as
was the late Postmaster-General Fawcelt,
of Englaud. He has gained eminence as
a lawyer, professor of music, municipal
reformer, politician, classical scholur
and journalist. All this though he was
entisely deprived of shjht at the age of
four years. Mr. Campbell was born at
Salem, Ohio, on November 3, 1842, of
Scotch-Iri h parents. His father, who
was a dissenting preacher, died in 1842.
His mother is still living, at the ndvanced
age of eighty years, with her blind son
in this city. The accident wmcu raaac
Mr. Campbell bliucl occurred one sunshiny
clay in May, 1847, during school recess.
The frolicsome youngsters were
throwing lime at each other. A piece
containing some hard substance struck
Walter in the left eye and cut a deep
gash. He suffered intensely for several
months, inflammation set in, spread to
the other eye and he became totally
blind. When nine years old the youth
was sent to the Institution for the Blind
at Columbus, where he devoted much
time to music, and in a short tim? be
came an expert pianist and organist, lie
played a pipe organ when thirteen years
of age, and at the present time presides
at the splendid pipe organ in the First
Presbyterian church of this city.
For the purpose of completing his musical
education he went from Columbus
to the Institution for the Blind at Philadelphia.
When he returned from the
Quaker City he taught music in his native
town of Salem aud studied in the high
school to fit himself for college. He entered
the "Western Reserve College,then at
Uud-on, Ohio, now at Cleveland, in I860,
and took a classical course, incluuing
mathematics.
In 1867 he was graduated, second in
his class, aud delivered the salutatory in
Latin. In his Freshman year he took the
prize for written Latin translations; in
his Sophomore year the prize for English
prose composition; at the Junior exhibition
he delivered a philosophical oration.
After graduating he studied law in the
office of J. A. Ampler, at Salem, and in
186b he was admitted to the Harvard
r ?? Sfhnnl where he remained until the
following June. In studying the classics,
for instance, the blind student committed
Latin and Greek at the rate of one or two
pages a day, when a classmate read to
him. In reciting his professor would
read a sentence and Campbell would
translate and construe it.
About the time he left Harvard his
brother, General J. A. Campbell, was
appointed as the first Governor of Wyoming
Territory. Walter went to Cheyenne
to practise law and assist in organizing
the Territory in 1869. Shortly
after he was appointed United States
Commissioner of Wyoming. Later on,
both branches of the Legislative sent
written memorials to Governor C :.*npbell
ask ng him to appoint his blind brother
Territorial Treasurer. General Campbell
dm-Uned. nartlv because of a desire to
avoid the appearance of nepotism, and
partly on account of a desire to be loyal
to a nomination previously made.
In 1871 Walter L. Campbell came to
Youngstown, where his si-ter, Mrs. McMillin,
was already, withthj intention of
re-uming the practice of law. The county
seat of Mahoning was then at Canfield.
and this caused Youngstown lawyers
much inconvenience. For this reason
the practice was not entered upon.
Campbell took an active part in the political
campaign of 1872. Possessing
journalistic talent, Mr. Campbell purchased
an interest in May, 1874, in the
Mahoning Weekly Register, and acted as
its editor, local reporter and general utility
man until December of that year,
when he issued the Evening Jfcgist< r, a
daily paper, and the first printed in this
city at two cents. It was consolidated
in the following February with the rival
morning paper, the Tribune. He acted
as managing editor of these papers until
1882, wnen he was consolidated out of
them by the union of the Neics and Retjister,
under the name of the Ntws-Iter/inter.
During his editorial caiecr the blind
journalist wrote most of his own matter
by means of a grooved board
to keep the lines straight. At other
times his wife a ted as his amanuensis,
and also read the daily papers to him.
In 1875 he beg in using the typewriter
and soon attained great expertncss and
aeuracy in operating it. Mr. Campbell
was married in October, 1877, to Miss
Helen C. Lagourgue, of this city, but
formerly of Cleveland. Two beautiful
children have blessed their union and
aro a great joy to the father, though he
keenly feels the deprivation of looking
upon them.
Intellectual and influential people
were soon attracted to Mr. Campbell's
side, and in April, 1884, he was elected
Mayor of Youngstown after the most exciting
local contest ever held, the vote
being larger than ever previously cast
at any election, municipal, State or national.
Mr. Campbell began his official career
with the resolution that Youngstown
should be no longer a village but a city;
that the ordinances must be
strictly enforced or gcod order
could not be preserved. His
methods bore good results and the
morals of the city improved surprisingly;
there were few street brawls or other
disturbances and little or no business
for the police court during the last year
of his administration. While Campbell
was Mayor the city debt was also reduced
$80,000 in two years. A few months
ago he was renominated, but his opponent
was returned by a majority of
twenty one votes.
Ex-Mayor Campbell lives in a comfortable
house, furnished with excellent
n?rl finwkaiinrlii/1 Iw r???nff ?f /vk/vii n/lo
Ltirjuu auu ouuuuu'tvu ijj pi vtcj ^ i uuuvio,
on Elm street. He never failed to visit
the Mayor's office, one mile from his
home, every day during his term as
Mayor, walking both ways entirely unassisted.
He knows almost every stiect
and lane in the c'.ty and goes everywhere
alone, r.irely encountering an obstruction.
During the past twenty years he
his visited all of the principal cities of
the country. Though traveling alone he
never met with an accidcnt. "With the
sole assistance of his cane he has traversed
the streets of New York, PhiladelDhia.
Washington, Pittsburgh, Cleve
iand, Cincinnati, Columbus,w Chicago,
Cheyenne, Wyoming Territory, and San
Francisco, Cal. Mr. Campbell never forgets
the sound of a man s voice or his
name. A few days ago a gentleman from
Canfield, whom he had not seen for
twenty years, grasped his hand and spoke
to him. Mr. Campbell, by the sound of
his voice, at once recalled his name and
when and whore they had met last. His
- ?
manner is gentle and his voice tinged
with melancholy. He has the respect ol
the entire population of Youngstowo.
riAmiilAnrft.
r
A corresp indent, who, without anj
known organic or functional trouble, is
greatly incommoded by superfluous fat
?he wrongly, calls it Jiesh?requests an
article on the subject.
The condition is known as corpulence,
or obesity. It consists in a tendency to
the formation and depositor fat. A certain
amount of this deposit is normal. Ii
is an element of beauty, rounding out tho
form. It lessens the effect of sudden
changes of temperature. It is a reserve
of nutriment, to be drawn upon in emergencies.
thus saving the muscles and
other tissues.
Some persons inherit a tendency to it.
Some race< axe more liable to it than
others. Women are more so than men.
Both sexes are more inclined to it after
the age of forty. There are individual
eases of extreme obesity. A boy at the
age of three weighed one hundred and
twenty-four pounds; a gin, one n marca
and eighty-two, at twelve. A woman,
who was thin and dclicate at eighteen,
died at forty-one with some eight inches
of fat around her body. The famoui
Daniel Lambert's maximum weight wis
seven hundred and thirty-nine pounds.
Much the large&t part of the body in these
persons was pure fat.
In all cases of obesity, there is a deficiency
of uvygen in the blood, either
absolutely, or relatively to the amount of
food. Excess of food tends to produce
it, and yet some are corpulent on a spare
diet. Lack of exercise favors it, by lessening
the oxidation of the tissues. It is
also produced by disea-es which diminish
the number of the red blood cormischs.
It is the latter that absorb oxygen from
the inspired air and convey it to the tissues.
According to yuain, very corpulent
people have large hearts and small lungs.
This may help to explain the deficiency
of oxygen. It has also quite recently
been proved that, women have fewer, by
many millions, of red blood corpuscles
than men. This, too. mav be one reason
for their greater tendency to corpulence.
As the muscles become infiltrated with
fat, they are weakened. Hence corpu i
lent persons are apt to be indisposed to
active exercise. For the same reason,tho
heart is rendered feeblii and is easily disturbed.
The deficiency of oxygen tends
to the formation of uric acid, and hence
to the production of gout. Thy very
corpulent are specially liable to various
forms of congestion, and acute diseases
are apt to have an unfavorable course.
In treating the corpulent, regard must
be hud to the fact that the heart is
weak. The main reliance for reducing
the obesity is on diet and exercise. Tho
latter increises the power of the blood to
take up oxygen. The more oxygen one
can receive, the better, if kept well
within the person's strength and the capacity
of a weakened heart. The diet
should contain but little fatty or starchy
food, and much animal food?lean
meats, fish, but not the richer kinds,
also fresh fruits, vegetables, and bread
with only a moderate allowance of butter.
Alkaline water is believed to be
helpful. ? Youth's Companion.
No Cyclones in Florida.
There has been but one approach to a
cycloue in the State of Florida within i
the memory of man, and that was prob- J
ably a dip of the tail of a West India
hurricane which had spent its force out !
on the blue Atlantic. It is notorious to
scientific men that Florida lic3 outside
of the cyclone belt-, which run from
northca t to southwest on either side of
the range of mountains known variously
as the Alleghenic3, Blue Ridge, etc., and
along the base of the Rocky Mountains
from Manitoba to the Gulf of Mexico. I
The cy lone, which is "a rotary storm '
or whirlwind of extended circuit,",
sweeps with its irresistible gyratory mo- !
tion in a given direction, "it derives its
great power from its whirling capacity, j
* * 11 *
which applies tne iun iorce 01 me wmu
to all sides of the object at once. The j
storm forms in the air, and when it takes ;
to flight rises and falls in its onward j
progress like a wave or a bounding ball, I
The hurri:ane is "a violent storm char- j
acterized by the extreme fury of the
wind and its sudd n changes." It blows
straight ahend until some cause in nature
changcs its course to the right or left oblique,
or at right angles, or it maj ruturn
over its track, but it generally blows
in one direction. It is generally also accompanied
by violent thunder and lightning.
Minor wind-storm i partake more
or less of the character of the cyclone
and the hurricane; but they may be
strong enough to fell trees and blow
down"loo ely construct', d buildings, and
yet not have the distinctive character"
? A? A^Vl/?P
issues UJ U.U1CI IU' uuc Ul 1110 tnun.
It is one of the recommendations of
Florida that it lie* in a region of the
world which, fron its geographical situation,
exempts it from violent storms of
any kind, whether arising in the mountains
and valleys of the Northwe>t or in
the torrid equatorial regions. This situation
gives it its equuble climate and.
makes it impervious to the extreme action '
of the elements in any form.
To characterise the little wind dips
and gales which'occasionally blow down
a shauty or upset a weak tree as cyclones
is a ridiculous misnomer, which creates
a wrong impression on the public mir d
and creates injurious impres-ions elsewhere.
There are no cyclones in Florida.
?Florida Times- Union.
Oct an Pilots.
The pilotage systems of the different
countries of the world have been at various
times subjects of discussion, and
romnarisrjiis are interesting to nautical
"XT " w
racii. Probably the most dangerous
coasts are those of the kingdoms of Norway,
Denmark and Great Britain. The
pilots of Norwaj and the Black Sea lead
lives which are replete with danger. In
lheir little luggers they shoot alongside a
vessel and in many cases simply grasp a
line aud climb hand over hand up to the
vardarni. In a gale and heavy sea their
work of boarding a ship as accomplished
requires agility and is not unattended
with danger. Their pay, too, is very
slight in proportion to their duties. Frennnntlv
a innk of "salt horse" or a bs.cr
"1 J "J w
of pilot bread is thrown aboard as a.n
extra recompense. The English pilots,
and channel pilots also liad a life of
great danger iu th -ir watch and care of
the great fleets that are constantly pissing
to and frr.in the ports of the United
Kingdom. In nearly every European
*** AMfn AAiinfrir fliA QVCif^m
of compulsory pilotage has been adopted,
not only as insuring a better reward for
faithful service, but also as a safeguard
for the shipping interests. In the United
States the ports of New York and Boston
have probably the most difficult and hazardous
service. In the winter time,especially
during this severe gales and accompaniments
of icc and snow, the life of a
pilot cannot be a happy one. In San
Francisco, lihough tne climate is mild,
yet the aei ice ia not devoid of danger,
?nd it reraires the best of skill at times
to prevent disa.ter.?San Francisco Gall.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
He Had Capacity?Misunderstood
tho Person?The Congressman
and the Cow?Curious Coincidence?Dakota
Dogs.
Squire Bunker?"Professor, my son
has been at your institoot for some time.
What do you think he is capable of?"
Professor Simpson?"What calling or
profession do you wish him to follow?" j
Squire Bunker?"Well, you see, I'm
well fixed. All I've got will be his, an'
I'm not expectin' him to do anything."
Professor Simpson?"From what I
bave seen of your son, Squire, I would
say that he has capacity enough for that."
?Sifiings.
The Congressman and the Cow.
Ben Lefevre, the member from the
Fifth Ohio district, has managed to rel_
* i. /i r ,_ ii.
| ta.ji a scat iu congress it>r wuu pusi scvcu
or eight years upon the hypothesis of
being a farmer. I heard a good ytory ou
Ben illustrative of his luck of fanning
knowledge. Ben had bargained for a
blooded cow at the sum of $200, and as j
I the drover was driving her to Ben's farm |
I to deliver and get his money he met a I
| gentleman who admired the animal and ]
asked whether she was for sal*. The
drover replied that she had been sold to
General Lefevre for $200. The gentleman
replied that if any means could be ]
deviled to make Ben rue the bargain he 1
would give $2."50 for her. Th'j drover,
anxious to make $50, cudgeled his brain,
and, remembering the limited extent of
Lefevre's knowledge of farm animals, hit
upon an expedient. He took the cow to j
Ben's house, where she was duly ami j
admiringly paraded to an assemblage of j
| friends gathered for the purpose.
"Come in and get your money," said
, Ben.
"General," replied the drover, "I am
. your constituent, and want to deal fairly !
by you. The cow is all she is repre-!
I sented to be, thoroughbred and a good j
milker, but I am compelled to state that j
I slie is not exactly perfect."
"Why, what is the matter with her?" !
queried Lefevre.
| "Well, the fact is," replied the drover, I
"she has no upper front teeth."
I "Great heavens!" ejaculated the Con-;
gressman farmer. "No upper front!
teeth! That won't do at all, and I don't;
wmther; in fact, I would not take her i
for a gift. Still, you shall not lose any- j
thing. Here's a five-dollar bill for your i
trouble in driving here and back."
I "All right,'' replie 1 the drover, as he j
pocketed the V. "I don't want to take !
advantage of you. General, so good-by." j
And away he went and sold the cow to i
the gentleman, clearing just $.15 by the;
transaction. This joke was too good to j
keep. Imagine Big Jicn's discomfiture j
when it leak< d out, and he learnc:! that I
no well-regulated cow ever has any upper
front teeth. ? Chic tgo llerald.
i*iisuiiucrsiuou uic rvnuu.
Jonathan Chace, the quaint old Rhode j
Island Qunker?who has a tender side, \
by the way, for all the victims of Cupid i
?had been taking the subscriptions of j
his colleagues of the Senate for the wed-I
ding present which they were to give j
General Anson McCook, the Secretary ofj
the Senate, at his marriage, lie went to j
Dolph, of Oregon, and said: "We are i
going to give McC'ook a wedding pres- ;
ent. How much will you subscribe?" j
Dolph seemed astonished. Finally he
sa'd. with some appearance of confusion:
41 Why, I'll give you something of course, :
if you want me too; but I'd like a little
time to think nbnut it." "Oh, certainly,"
responded Cliacc, somewhat miffed,
and then he walked off. Then Dolph
hurried over to his colleague, Mitchell, j
of Oregon, and said to him in a puzzled
way: "Chace asked me just now to join j
him in giving a wedding present to his j
cook. What do you suppose he's driving |
at? When ray cooks get married I don't I
go round asking other fellows to send '
themwedding p esents." "Oh," laughed
Mitchell, who has been in the Senate before,
"he m'.-ant McCook?Anson McCook,
the Secretary, you know. It's the '
custom, you know, for Senators to give i
the officers of the Senate presents when ^
they get married. "Oh," said Dolph. !
breathing freely again, "of course, of:
course."? Washington Letter
Curious Coincidence.
The other day \7hile a Michigan Central
train was waiting at St. Thomas a young
man of twenty-five was observed to be
closely rogardingasolid-looking old gent
of fifty who had come through from Chicago.
Finally the young man stepped up
and inquired:
"I'n't this Mr. B , of Chicago?"
"Ye?, sir."
"I am Mr. J , formerly of the same
place but now of Toronto. Do you rc
LLlU.iiuci mv <
"Really, but I do not."
' I was a clerk in your pork house. I'
aspired to the hand of your daughter.
You drove me hence because I had no
ducats."
4'Oh, yes, it seems as if I do recall
something of the sort."
"Well, sir, I want you to understand
that you made a mistake. I am now worth
$18,000, and could give your daughter
every luxury."
"Eighteen thousand dollars,eh? That's j
quits a sum."
uv.. _ _ _ ,1 T* ?.-3 I
"ICS, Sir, uuu irn tut; IIUIU juu uiuvc
hcnce."
"Eighteen thousand dollars," mused
the old gent. ''What a curious coincidence!
That's exactly the sum my
daughter's husband gave her the other
day to buy summer pug dogs with! I
must, jot this coincidence down."
Somebody held the young man up
until the weakness left his knees a little,
and then he weut hence some more.?
Free Press.
Dakota Dogs.
Persons coming to Estelline to reside
will find that our dog resources compare
very favorably with tho>e of Eastern
communities. In fact, gentlemen may
move here right from Dogtown and not
miss any home privileges.
Our canine residents largely run to bird
dog, though several rare specimens of the
imported yellow dog are owned by some
of our more wealthy citizens. The bird
dog has a thin, spectral appearance as if
he ha I just pissed through a winter
twelve years long and had had nothing
fn fl.it hut nno soun bone which had been
distilled two or three times. Their legs
nre very long. If one of them would get
up on its hind legs and put on a plug hat
it would be over eight feet high.
A grand concei t is called by our dogs
every moonlight night at eleven o'clock
v. M. All dogs are cordially invited to
attend. Visiting dogs from other towns
always welcome. Dogs who may have
left their voices at the shop for repairs
need not hesitate about coming as secondhand
barks and rejected yelps will be
furnished by the leader. Dogs not on
good howling terms with the moon are
not wanted on the grounds.
?MB?
These coucert* are led by a large black
dog with only the lower part of a voic<
left. His howl sounds as if it came up
out of a fifty-foot well and is like unto
the cry of the offensive partisan. Then
the bird dogs rest their chins up on the
cornice of our three-storv postoffice build
ing and howl like a lost soul. Just before
they stop a job lot of miscellaneous
dogs catch the eye of the moon and break
out into a wild smashup of barks and
conflagration of wails. This procession
is followed by private citizens in bedroom
windows carrying double-barreled shotguns
and rcpeatiug Winchesters. After
the dust settles the audicnce is respectfully
requested to remain seated as the
performance will be repeated one block
farther down the street.
Nothing can be more innocent than
| one of our dogs the next morning. Dogs
| that took a leading part in the pcrformI
auce and others, who, perhaps, have pot
got the bird-shot which struck them in
the way of applause extracted from their
persons yet, will move about the streets
wiha bland smile, and even patronizing
air, and present their moist, red tongues
to everyone who offers them a hand.
Dogs that split the scared night with
graveyard cries till the moon went down
will be on hand when the sun comes up
chusing your chickens around the front
yard. .
Some day the pale, dark-eyed editor of
this journal will be missing from Estelline.
Ilis friends will rush hither and
thither, but thev will not find him. The
()olice will join in the fruitless search and
lis creditors will fall by the wayside in
the long and weary chase. He will be
gone far away?oceins may roll between
him and these self-same poor, struggling
creditors. And he will never return?no,
never! This will be when the cats become
numerous enough to alternate with
the dogs, and give concerts on the dark
nights. He is no hog?he knows when
he has got enough.?
Premature Baldness.
G. Lassar has continued his observations
on the nature of premature baldness,
and has further convinced himself
of the communicability of the form associated
with dandruff. "When the hairs
which fall off in such cases are collected,
rubbed up with vaseline, and the ointment
so made is rubbed among the fur
of rabbits or white mice, baldness rapidly
makes itself visible on the parts so
treated. That this is not done by the
vaseline was stxown by anointing otner j
animals with the vaseline alone, which
produced no effect whatever. He considers
that the disease is spread by hairdressers,
who employ combs and brushes !
on their customers, ono after auother, |
without any regular cleansing of those |
articles aftcr each time they are used, i
During frequent visits to the hairdressers,
it can scarcely fail that brushes are
used which have be.-n shortly before J
dressing the hair of one affected with so
common a complaint as scaly baldness.
Females arc !e s often alTected with this
form of boldness bet a ise the hairdresser
more frequ ntly atterds to them at their
own homes, and there uses their combs
and brushes. In order to prevent as far
as possible the commencement of premature
bnldness, the hair should be cut and
dressed at home, and with one's own implements,
and these thoroughly clean.
When it has begun, the following mode
of treatment is suggested: The scalp is
to be daily well soaped with tar or fluid
glycerine potash soap, which is to ba
rubbed in for fifteen minutes firmly. The
head is then to be drenched with first
warm water, and then gradually coldei
water. A two per ceut. corrosive sublimate
lotion is next to be pretty freely
applied. The head is then to be dried
and the roots of the hair are to have a
one per cent, solution of napthol in spirit
rubbed into them. Finally, a pomade ol
one and oue-half to two per cent, of car1??
~:i In 1\A An i
IJUIIC ur SilllUVJIU Ull xa iu i;c uocu vit iuu
head. This "treatment ha3 now in many
cases brought the disease not only to a
stand, but the hnir has been to a considerable
extent restored.?Journal of
Health.
Gambling at Monte Carlo.
The hangers-on comprise men and
women of all kinds, spies, cappers, persons
who lend money on watches and
je\vclrv,to those who have lost and thos?
who follow numerous other nameless occupations.
Thote who patronize the
games are chiefly Knglish and Russians,
among whom are the principal scandals
arising from lost fortunes and unpaid
debts. The Czar is often called upon by
members of noble families to forbid theii
relatives to visit Monaco, where they
have already lost the greater part of theii
fortunes. There have been Russian
princesses who have spent half their live*
at the Casino, only ceasing their visiti
when old age or disease rendered the dissipation
impossible. The trouble in th<
Balkan Peninsula ha3 prevented tha
Czar from following out his hostile
designs in regard to Monaco,
which he threatened just aftei
the attempted suicide of Princfl
Gargarme last summer. English people,
' - ' 1 1 T?awa Kann
WHO J1UU IU I UJCII IUI buuca, ur?T? tso<-u
known to leave their children at a hotel
as security for the bill while thev returned
home to seek means of payment,
and, not returning to seek them, the landlord
has found it necessary to take them
to London. Americans resident nt Nice
visit Monaco with the re t and lose
money, but are seldom utterly ruined.
They rarely, so far as known, increase the
list of suicides. But Nice is in its decadence.
Not more than half the usual
number of guests were there this winter,
and its hotels are nearly all ruined.
With the misfortunes of Nice and thi
hostility of all the countries of Europe,
except France, must come also the fall
of Monaco, which will, perhaps, be hastened
by the accession to power of th?.
heir apparent, who is said to be hostile
to the Casino.?Pans Letter.
rri./v Kniaaa.Pntino'" fflllllhllir
JLIIU M ittOJThe
sword-swallower educates hi?
throat to allow the presenoe of a sword
the glass-eater prepare* his to receive a
tube of some description, which probably
has a strainer in the end to allow tha
water which he drinks to filter through,
but retains the glajs until such time as he
can dispose of it without being observed.
That silver tubes can be worn in the
throat we all know from tho numerous
surgical operations. Meanwhile glass
eating is becoming one of the crowded
professions, and it behooves the managers
of dime museums to be on the hunt foi
some new dietetical monstrosity. Glasseating
is already a 'chestnut."?Boston
Transcript,
Waiting.
I sit and watch the rain drops fall,
I gaze out at the dull gray skies,
I only see the rain clouds' pall,
Or watch the ghostly mists that rise.
I do not turn my head to see
The narrow room that holds me here;
I watch the rain and long to be
rar irum u*y piwuu & wui ui?m.
"Why, laughter waits for me out there,
And hearty clasp of loving hands,
And merry songs and faces fair?
Could I but break my prison bands.
But here I pine, as one in ban,
Forbidden by tho fates to roam,
Until that laggard tailor man
Shall send my only trousers home.
?Burdette, in Brooklyn Eaqle.
" - :;;
???i^?????im
FACTS FOB THE CCRIOUS.
George Bristol, of Piano, III., sneezed
o hard that he fractured one of his ribs.;
The first temperance agitation in th?
United States of which there is any
record, it is stated, occurred in 1651, at
Orient, L. I.
In England the Speaker of the Hons?
of Commons, is the tirst Commoner of the .
kingdom, and always receives a peerage
when he resigns, that he may not step
back into the ranks.
The combs of cocks are considered a
delicacy in some parts of Europe. They
are cooked, put in small, long glass bottles
filled with white vinegar, and sold at
wholesale for one dollar per bottle.
A resident of Minnesota, who has seen
several severe tornadoes, says that theit
most peculiar feature is the singular sucking
movement. Buildings are sucked up
into the clouds entire, and come down
soon in fragments.
It is said that ths oldest merchnnt-vea-' sel
afloat is the bark True Love of London,
296 tons register. This vessel wafl
built in that city in 1794, making her 122
years old. She is owned by John S.
Ward," of London, a large owner of vessel
property. The True Love is yet in
active service.
The population of London now exceeda
every other city, ancient, or modern, in
the world. New York and all its adjacent
cities combined are not equal to
two-thirds of it. Scotland, Switzerland
and the Australian colonies each contain
fewer souls, while Norway, Serbia,
Greece and Denmark have scarcely hall
so many. Yet in the beginning of the
present century the population of all
London did not rcach 1,000,000.
During his expedition to Mount
Kilimanjaro Mr. II. H. Johnson noticed
a singular resemblance of "mimicry"
between the appearance of the tall redbrown
antelope a id the mounds built by
the white ant. The coloring being the
fiflmp and thp lnno <rrn.qn h:din(7 thft ani?
trial's legs, it was really difficult to distinguish
an antelope from an ant-hill.
A more ludicrous exactness was some- times
given to the mimicry by the sharply
pointed leaves of a kind of squill, which
suggested the horns of the antelope.
Did you ever think of the huge proportions
of the payments for pensions by
the Government? It has come to stay
for generations, aud as widows of deceased
soldiers aie entitled to pensions,
it is estimated that there will be a pension
bill until the year 2004, or 144 years after *
the close of the Civil War. For example,
a soldier is twenty at the close of the
war, marries fifty years later a girl of
twonty. The girl proves to be tough and
live? to be eighty years old herself. She
would draw a p:n-iion till 1975. Exaggerate
all these a?jns and we would have
a case that would extend to the limit
named.
An Old Clothe?Man's Scheme.
Competition is keen among the old
clothes men. Tlicy are eager bidders for
stocks and will walk three miles any day
in response to a postal card which states
that the writer has some cast-off clothing
to dispose of. The garments of deceased
persons a*e frequently sold to
these ubiquitous dealers, and, desiring
to cultivate this fijld to the greatest possible
advantage, p State street old clothes
man has adopted an ingenious plan. He
had a printer set up for him a card-form
with a heavy black border, like this:
Sacred to the Memory
of
John Smith.
Every day he runs over the list of
death notices in the newspapers, selects
f-Vtn tintrtna tttVii\rnmiao a rir?V* Kortroaf
tuc uarnuo n Uivu |/m/uiiow u 14U?I um tvqv
in old ^clothes, and sends them to hia 1
printer. In aD hour or two he receives a
bunch of pretty, bladk-bordered cards,
one sacred to the memory of the late
John Smith, another sacred to the
memory of Bill Jones, and so on. These
cards he mails to relatives of the deceased
with his condolence and compli-^
ments, and enclosing a postal card which'
the mourners may sign and re-mail, and
thus easily call to their places of abode
the "sympathizing and honorable merchant
who is ready to pay the highest
cash price for tl e garments of the beloved
dead."
The ingenious old c'othes man is investing
his large profits in the South Side
real estate.?Chicago Herald.
The Soldiers' Home.
The charming spot known as Soldiers'
Home is a large estate on the range of
hills north of Washington, embracing
fios arres. the co-t of which has been
$325,327.50. This is exclusive of the
buildings, which have cost as much more.
The nucleus of the fund from which payments
have been made was a contribution
of $100,000 levied upon the City of
Mexico by General S:ott as a punishment
for having permitted guerrillas to fire
upon the Ameri an troops. Besides, a
tax of twelve and a half cents per month
is levied upon all soldiers in the army
and whatever is due deserters and collected
in fines. The whole, with the interest
on the funds, amounts to nearly
$160,000 per annum. There are now
about 590 inmates of the Home, with 150
out pensioners who receive $8 a month.
President Buchanan pas>ed a summer in
one of the cottages at the Soldiers' Home,
and President Lincoln also resided there
during the summer months, coming in to
the White House every week day, escorted
by a company of cavalry. General
fifonf- r?rAf/?rrpd f or or Brftnt-h. but Presi
VJUMV |/. V.V.w^ ? / "
deut Hayes passed his summers at the
Soldiers' Home. President Arthur went
there, but President Cleveland did not
occupy the cottage fitted up for his reception
last year.? Wathington Critic.
Ingredients or Bogus Butter.
It maybe well to enumerate here some
of the ingredients included in the bogus
butter patents named, as they may have
escaped the memo:ies of some of our
readers. Here is the list: Sugar of lead,
bisulphate of lime, borax, salicylic acid,
benzoic acid, orris root, cotton-seed oil,
bicarbonate of soda, glycerine, capsvlic
acid, alum, capsie ai id, sulphite of soda,
cow's udder, sulphuric acid, pepsin, tallow,
lard, salt, corn starch, butyric ether,
caustic potash, castor oil, chalk, slippery
elm bark, caul, oil of sesame, oil of sunflower
seeds, olive oil, turnip seed oil,
broma chloralum, chlorate of potash, oil
of sweet a'.monds. oil of peanuts, peroxide
of manganese, stomach of pig, sheep,
or naif, nitrate of soda, mustard seed oil,
nitric acid, dry blood albumen, sugar,
butyric acid, bicarbonate or potash, and
caustic soda.
Ia addition it is well known that the
fats of animals of all kinds, dying from
disease, disappear mysteriously in the
vicinity of the bogus butter factory. A
more villainous and disgusting swindle
than this counterfeit butter was never
perpetrated upon any community.? Homo
Farm.
Barbers near Mono Lake, CaL, whose
water is heavy with salts of sodium and
borax, use it as a natural shampooing
water, to the satisfaction of their customers.