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DISTANCE. How lonely is this world, and yet how bright It shines like heaven with beauty's stars Each soul apart! 'Tis distance mars The strength, the grand effulgence of our light. Distance! a thing abhorred! It is a blight That chills each heart that loves; it bars Prom us sweet sympathy and scars Our minds with solitary, inward fight. Yet sometimes in our gloomy, lonely night Wed stars above the clouds do rise In joyous married harmony, Singing the music of the skies UT'.'+k .irarlocHnff rnnstfliiov. ?? ILIA y , And charm our heavenward eyos with their sweet sight. ?J. Edgar Smith, in the Current. | SILAS SINGLETON. CHAPTIIR I.?THE VOW. 'Til do it!" and, with the exclamation, Silas Singleton's chubby hand came down with, emphasis on the dining-room table. "I'm only fifty-eight, for a man is comparatively young at that age, when his life has been a strictly temperate and regular one. She's a good girl, and luckily for mc, perhaps, she's poor. All girls?especially the poorer ones?place a proper estimate on securing a rich hus band, and why should she be an exception? Jack will be astonished, and a little disappointed, I suppose; but I mean to provide generously for his future, for he is a good boy and my only living relative. He'll never dream in what direction the land lies, though. I ~ * II it. ? A. have guarded my secret so weu umi cvcu ?he don't dream what a brilliant future is before her." Silas chuckled gleefully, and sinking back in his chair, closed liis eyes to contemplate the future his imag- | ination pictured. Our friend Silas was a self-made man i ?the architect of his own fortune, as he was wont to put it himself, who having realized a competency in the manufacture of soap, retired from trade to enjoy his ease in an uptown brown-stone mansion. That evening at dinner he approached his nephew on the subject that tilled his thoughts. "Jack," he said, as he twisted his napkin round one chubby hand, "at what age do you think a wise man should marrv?" "Oh, say, uncle; you'll have to give me an easier one. That is a conundrum as difficult to solve as the question once asked by Louis the Fourteenth of France of a lady, who had passed her eightieth birthday. 'Madame,' inquired the king, 'when does a woman cease to love?' 'Sire,' replied the venerable dame, with the most bewitching smirk, 'you must ask some lady older than I.'" "Jack, do not try to be funny," was the comment of Silas on his nephew's story, who heard the criticism with a good-humored laugh, as he asked: "Are you seriously contemplating matrimony, Uncle?" Silas evaded a query too direct to be orrppahlp hv remarking sententiously, "I J believe that no man should marry until his character and habits are irrevocably formed?until the ripe wisdom of experience should enable him to guide with greater safety the domestic bark through all the shoals and quicksands of the matrimonial ocean. But every man, Jack, should obey the instinct implanted in his nature for an all-wise purpose, and marry." "Yet I have often thought, uncle, that the only reason for marriage as an institution is, that it enables any fool to make the life of at least one woman miserable." "Don't try to be cynical, sir," Silas said severely. "Tis the vice of the young men of this generation, but the habit sits awkwardly upon you. Have you never thought of marrying?" "Uncle Silas, the voice of the young woman of this generation is uncertainty of temper," Jack answered with imTkor+nrnhlp ?rrnvit"v r~'& "An opinion given with the dogmatic puppyism of youth. What the deuce do you know about it. sir? A woman's temper mellows with age." "Or becomes more acid with accumulating years. But seriously, uncle, I auppose there never yet was a young fellow of eight-and twenty who had not met ?ome dainty morsel of feminine humanity of whom he would say, 'There is the girl I should like to call my wife,' but you see, uncle, a fellow with the right sort of heart will not marry the girl he loves even, unless he feels confident he can secure her future bevond the reach of poverty." "You might not be apprehensive of poverty, Jack. With your salary and my allowance, you could continue to live comfortably, I guess." "Indeed, uncle, you have been more than generous to me, and?" "Don't interrupt me, boy. I was about to add that it has been always my intention to present you with a check for ten thousand dollars on the day of your marwonro " "Oh, you ain't serious, sir. Upon my word, if I thought yoa were, I would be s Benedict within a week." Without further remark Silas tore a blank leaf from his note book, and wrote the following: "I, Silas Singleton, promise to pay my nephew, John Siugleton, ten thousand dollars on the day of his marriage, should the lady be above reproach." He handed this document to his nephew, who after a glance folded it carefully and placed it in liis pocket. "My dear uncle, you may call me a Dutchman if I don't demand that check Ibeforfethe week is out." j CHAPTER II?THE PROPOSAL. I "Tell my nephew he must dine alone to-night," Silas said to his servant, as lie was about leaving the house the following evening. He was dressed with more than usual care, and his stop was as elastic as a boy's as he ran down the steps. Ten minutes' ride on the surface rnil<! wmil/1 Vmvn hrrmcrht him to his <1 <?? tination, but he preferred to walk, and his thoughts translated into speech would he expressed as follows: "Silas Singleton, this is a momentous crisis in your life. You are about to ask a girl to be your wife, but don't make a fool of yourself, Silas Singleton. Be calm, concise and decisive. Get to the point at once, and you must be successful." He paused at the door of a tenementlouse in West Thirty-fourth street to adjust his necktic before ascending the stairs. He knocked at a door on the second floor, and a clear, girlish voice foade him comc in. "Good-evening, Miss Letty," said Silas, as he entered the room. "Oh, good-evening, Mr. Singleton. [Let me take your hat, sir. Mother has gust gone out to the butchers, but she'll ibe back presently." "Surely the Fates are fighting in my tfavor," thought Silas. Ho was alone with Letty, and had a clear stage to enter on his wooing without fear of immediate interruption. Letty Larendon was not handsome, (but, like" hundreds of her sister workpug girls in New York, she was iudus trious, self-reliant and self-denying. Silas was not an infrequent visitor to her humble home. He was her father's friend, and it was through his influence that Letty had secured a position as stenographer in a merchant's office, which enabled her to support a widowed mother and a brother many years younger than herself. "I hope your mother is growing stronger," Silas said as he seated himself quite close to the girl's side. ' Indeed she is,-sir, and I'm sure we shall never forget how very kind you have been to us, Mr. Singleton." "Oh, nonsense! But when she loses you, Miss Letty, I'm sure she'll miss you, for you are a model daughter, and deserve the best reward such a girl can get, and that is a good husband. Do you ever think of marrying, Miss Letty?" "Oh! there's time enough to think of that yet," was Letty s langhing re piy. "A mistake, Miss Larendon, a mistake, believe me. Early marriages?I mean the early marriages of females?is to be commended. I pressed this view on my nephew last night, and urged him to marry. Jack is so far of my opinion that lie protests he will be married within a week. Miss Letty, take my word for it, you will be happier married to the man that loves you and can give you a pleasant home. Suppose this man I speak of loved you to distraction, I as he does, and that his name was Singleton, what would you say, Letty?'.' Unclc Silas had dropped formal "Miss," and his hand was laid carrcssingly on the girl's shoulder. Miss Larenden's embarrassment would have been very apparent to her ardent lover if he had been looking in her face, which he was not, as he continued: "Letty, my dear, what do you say to changing your name to Singleton? You will never have cause I to regret the Step, for your husband shall be your slave and adorer. You will make nic happy; and Jack?why Jack, although the bov is too bashful to give | expression to this feelings, will swear you are an angel." ixruiti-atfaw nmafia*io fLa aI mon'a I TV UaiCVCl CUlUlAVilO tuv> VIU lUUil O words stirred in Letty's breast, she endeavored to conceal, and it was in a calm and somewhat faint voice she murmured: "If you wish it, sir, and if Jack " "Why, of course, we both wish it," he interrupted, and the infatuated Silas proceeded to seal the contract with a kiss. Now his nephew could have told that kissing is an art that can only be acquired by patient study of details and heroic perseverance in practice, and Silas Singleton's osculatory performance was not a brilliant success. "With the j best intentions in the world he only sue- { ccodcd in reaching the tip of Lettv's somewhat retrousse nose instead of her lips, but he left the house as happy as old age can sometimes be in the perpetration of a folly. CHAPTER in.?THE DENOUEMENT. "Letty, I have alarming news for you. Uncle Silas is thinking of getting married. Married means, I suppose, my disinheritance. Then where shall I be, and iT'Vini'o nVi I TeViorA clinll VftH T.ft.tv?" 4'Always in your heart, dear Jack, I hope, no matter how your uncle may dispose of his fortune." "Say, Letty, what'll ye gimme if I ; give ye a letter, an' if I don't tell Jack that I saw old man Singleton kissing ye?" It was the enfant terrible of the family, Lettv's small brother, who had entered the room, with a letter in the hand he held behind his back. "Oh! you bad boy, I shall certainly tell mother; and?give me that letter immediately," exclaimed Letty as she snatched it from her brother's hand. "Eddie, my young friend," said Jack, "on principle I object to rewarding an informer, but here is a nickle, and travel." "Now, Miss Larendon," said Jack when he had closed the door behind her little brother, "I suppose you are ready with an explanation." Letty read the letter very carefully before she answered him. "Oh! Jack, I've | made a terrible mistake." "It would seem so^Miss Larendon," ( the young man said stffly. "Jack, I don't want you to be absurdly jealous about your unclc kissing me, when I'm just going to have a good cry," and there was a quiver around the sweet, womanly mouth that instantly disarmed her lover of all anger. "There, there, that will do, Jack; and now that you are a good boy again, I'll give you the explanation you ask for. Your uncle was here last night and made a proposal on behalf of you Jack, as I then thought. He intimated that you were too bashful to plead your own cause. Poor man! he didn't know of our secret engagement; and when he urged me to change my name to Singleton " "I think I can guess the rest. You learn from that letter that he spoke for himself, and that he regards you at this moment as his betrothed." "That's it, Jack; and, oh! what am I i _ i OS* ro nor"Ohly oue tliia^ that I know of, dear, | and that is to " and the remainder of j the sentence was whispered among Letty's i bangs. ******* j The rheumatism had given Silas ! Singleton a respite, and he felt in excellent spirits as he aat in the dining-room thinking of Letty, when his nephew entered. "Uncle, I'll thank you for that chcck of $10,000." "What?what the deuce do you mean, sir?" "Only this, sir; I was married this afternoon." "Jack, are you fooling me?" "Indeed, I am not. My wife is outside in the hall. Will you receive her, sir?" and Jack left the room before he got an answer, to return in a moment with a slight and shrinking figure clinging to his arm. As she cast one imploriug look into the old man's face he exclaimed excitedly: "Letty Larendou!" "Mrs. Jack Singleton, if you please, sir." explained his nephew. "Oh! sir, I hope you will forgive Jack," Letty pleaded as she caught the hand of Uncle Silas between her own soft palms. "Indeed, indeed, it wasn't his fault. I taught him to love me long airo, but he was too bashful to confess it until he learned you had spoken to mem his behalf night before last." "Spoken in his behalf," the old man echoed with a look of astonishment. "Oh! yes, to be sure. So you see, Jack, I won a wife for you." "And you will forgive us, uncle" with a tender emphasis on the word italicized, "for our hasty marriage without your knowledge," said Letty. "You see, sir," Jack explained, "I was bound to get that $10,000." "And you shall have it, boy, and with it a very foolish old man's blessing on you both."?New York News. The wife of M. de Lesseps has given birth to her thirteenth child. Speaking of motherhood, she ought to be known as the Queen of Panamas.? Judge. " WOMAN'S WORLD. PLEASANT LITERATURE FOR FEMININE READERS. Dr. Talmage's Wife. The wife of the great preacher, Rev. De Witt Talmage, while she has always modestly kept herself in the background, is nevertheless almost as remarkable for her fine intellect as her renowned husband. A woman of medium height, with dark hair and flashing black eyes, and a face showing great strength of character, Mrs. Talmage is a noticeable figure wherever she is seen. She is an earnest worker in the church as well as a dewi-fo ond mntlinr otlfl fVlfl dlltifiS VVfUV/VA " liU UUU. LUWUV>t ^ MUV% vv ? that devolve upon her as the wife of a minister of so large a congregation would ! appal any woman less gifted with good judgment and untiring energy than she. Mrs. Talmage has, among her other labors, the charge of a Bible class of 300 adults, to whom she delivers a lecture each Sunday, which is as brilliant it its way as her husband's fiermon. She is in every way a rare woman among women, intellectual, earnest, pleasing and modest. ? Chicago Journal. One Woman's Success. A lady of Spartanburg, S. C., has the most flattering report to make of her attempt at cotton culture on a small piece of ground, and raising tuberose bulbs. She had 30,000 tuberose sets under cultivation, which occupy only one-fourth of an. acre of ground. She has them all engaged to a Northern florist al, $18 per 1,000, which is a small price. She has only the cost of fertilizer and miniature bulbs to be deducted from the nice sum of $540; this would be $2,160 per acre? results that would gratify any one. From ?nrno r\f rrrntind TfllSpd t.Wfi hftlftS "" W of cotton of 400 pounds each for the first year, and was tempted to try six acres the next season; the yield was equally satisfactory. This 9hows what can be done by energy, independence and common sense?the latter always requisite to the attainment of a state of independence. It shows also the good sense of working small farms and giving them thorough culture. Let this woman's success encourage others in this field of labor.? Industrial South. How She Became an Heiress. A most remarkable case of good fortune has come to light by which a servant girl at one of the hotels in Toledo, Ohio, becomes heiress to one of the largest estates in England. Nearly twenty years ago the only daughter of General Rutledge Greg, of the British army, eloped from her home in Sunderland, England, with Charles O'Conner, one of her father's hostlers. He was a handsome young fellow, and Annie Greg had as pretty a face as could be found in all England. Furious at his daughter's disgrace the old general disinherited her, and until a few months ago would have no communication with her, tne letters which she wrote home a year or two after her marriage being all ret urned unopened. Young O'Conner and his bride settled in the county Sligo, Ireland, where he led a precarious existence. Six children were born to them, one of whom, Annie O'Conner, now eighteen years old, came to this country about a year ago. Her only relative here was a paternal uncle. She got work as chambermaid at the New York House, one of the cheap hotels here. Last summer General Greg's wife was taken ill and besought her husband to send for their daughter. He finally relented and wrote for her to come home and to bring her husband and children with her. They sailed on a Glasgow steamer last September, but the boat was overtaken by a terrible storm and foundered, many on board being lost, among the number the entire O'Connor family. The old general subsequently learned the address of the grandchild who had come to Toledo, and he wrote to her to come to him at once. The letter received recently at Toledo gives the above particulars and was the first inti? ? i- i _ r 1 mation Miss U'Uonnor naa 01 ner parents fate and of her own good fortune. Reform in Shoes. "We find," said a fashionable shoemaker to a Philadelphia Press reporter, as he twisted a porpoise-leather shoestring around his forefinger, "that women have virtually discarded fashion in shoes and I believe it is chiefly due to the newspapers. You remember four or five years "ago, when high-heeled shoes, were the thing? Well, everybody wore them, even the old women. I knew one little lady over eighty years old who wore high-heeled shoes and slippers until she died. In order to make a woman's foot look small the high heel was set forward until it was under the ball of the foot. There is no doubt that such shoes are very injurious, and that more than one woman has ruined her feet by wearing them. The newspapers made an -ill-i-.V! J outcry agamsc uie lasmuu aim tuc pcupic camc to their senses." "Do not Philadelphia women wear stylish shoes?" "Yes, and they wear very expensive ones, too. But everything is changed now There is really no set fashion in shoes. "Women here are very sensible about their feet. As a rule they have small feet, and can afford to look to comfort combined with style. We rarely put a high French heel on a slioe now, except in the case of some one very short who is anxious to look tall. It is more the proper thing here than anywhere I know to wear low, broad heels, set in the proper place on the shoe, and I don't know of any street in any city where you see more stylish girls, feet and all, than you do on Chestnut street. But low heels are not all the improvements. Everybody must wear square-toed shoes now; in fact, the most fashionable thing to do is to wear the most thoroughly com - - J fortable shoe. Men are coming arounu to the same idea. Not even the dude thinks of cramping his feet now. They have come to the conclusion that women like men best who look as they had something to stand on." A Woman's Gymnasium. "It is a notable fact just at the present time," remarked Professor D. L. Dowd, who is proprietor of a school for physical culture, and whose record of lifting 1,412 pounds has never beeu equaled, when a reporter for the New York Mail and Express called on him "that young women are becoming more than ever before interested in physical development. There is shown among women a marked desire to become physically stronger. Heretofore the general idea among them was that physical culture was only for men, and meant coarseness and abnormal de"velopment of the muscles. But now they are beginning to understand the subject better. There has been a very apparent change in this respect among them recently. Why, the last year I have had about fifty women, young and old, exercising regularly here, and more come to inquire about the subject in one season now than did formerly in two years' time." "What kind of exorcise do they most prefer?" was asked. "It ?n't so much what they prefer, but what is best for them. The only way to properly exercise is to do it systematically, and we have a regular course arranged for this purpose. First, we take a measurement of the different parts of the body. Then we generally start off with chest exercise, then the waist, then the limbs. Some ladies have a medical examination to ascertain if they are in sound condition, or to learn if there are any weak spots in their body that should have extra exercise, particularly regarding the heart and lungs. If any weak spots are found these are strcnthened first. From experience we find that as a rule the chief defects in the constitutions of the young women of the present day are weaknesses of the back and waist and next the arms. Their preferences here are for chest-developing exercise, and they seem to deWst most that which develops the waist?they don't want large waists." "Have you any records of what your young lady pupils have done during their exercising?" "I do not keep any, for the pupils do not like the idea of having it talked about. But I can give you several. One young lady who was exercising here became so strong that she lifted on the hoalth-lift 700 pounds. Another who took to vaulting, who was only nineteen years old, vaulted five feet. This was a splendid leap for a woman. Last year a young girl began exercising who was twelve jrears old, but who weighed ninety-eight pounds. She began here because she was threatened with curvature of the spine. In six months she grew three inches in height, and her chest girth was increased in its expansion two inches, making her chest expansion four inches. This was remarkable when you take into consideration that the average chest expansion is only about two inches. A young woman about twenty years old, who was partly oaralvzed through short-hand writing i and telegraphing, began exercising a short time ago and is now quite well and strong. Special work for every muscle on the surface of the body is the only sure way of successful exercising." Fashion Notes. Bird jewelry is popular." Welcome the low, broad shoe heel. Fleece-lined merino hose insure warm feet. England is the home of plush. France uses fur. Pink and flesh tints in evening gloves are in again. Exquisitely painted gauze fans are charming, but useless. Yellow plush is trimmed with either white fox or dark brown fur. A Russian novelty is sheepskin with the fleece left on, for milinery. Madeira hand-embroidery is durable and appropriate for undergarments. Copper and red gold galloons are used for trimming plush and silk dresses. *" .. n -I rtrtlrnfo .Many 01 me uupuucnc jotacio <n^ uvu? tifully embroidered with Oriental figures. Braiding in cane pattern laid over colors is used to trim costumes of serge. Velvet costumes are plainly made and are edged with rosary, jet or lead beads. Small ruffles of lace or velvet are secured beneath a tiny knot of real flowers. Double muffs?that is, one for each hand?are concealed in the ends of mantles. Fur capes no longer have ultra high shoulders, and they reach a little below the waist. Necklaces and collarettes are again worn with low dresses, but they must fit tight and close round the throat. Metal repousse and filagree buttons and engraved pearl buttons have cloak clasps and dress buckles to match. Shoulder capes have a monk's hood lined, not very appropriately, with striped satin of two shades. Collars of velvet or satin are embroidered with glass beads of all colors, metal beads, and also wooden beads of all sizes. Satin shoes are made low in the instep and trimmed with flat bows, or they are prettily embroidered without further decoration. Soft materials in cream color, with corselet, sash, and shoulder knots of J rich toned velvet, are favorites with youug guto. A charming combination is myrtlegreen satin, sea-green satin and myrtlegreen brocaded velvet in a lace-work pattern over sea-green. Tea gowns are most exquisite, and so popular is plush as the principal feature that it m\wt be used as a trimming, if the whole garment, indeed, is not made of it. Every fabric worn by their elders may be worn by children, but new goods of French manufacture are being received; they are in wools and have small figures of pretty design. A charming little evening wrap of sapphire-blue velvet shows great pink j roses stamped upon the surface and fin- j ished by a deep fringe of blue chenille, j tipped with smooth-pointed pendauts. I Violet and light blue, plum color and yellow, green and pink, and purple and red are combinations dear to the eye of the average Parisian, but they sound fear fully. In the practised nana 01 we artist the effect ia fine. Tailor-made costumes, that ia, those made by the tailors who make a specialty of such, and not the dressmakers, who embellish the dress so that one is justified in saying their specialty is a bill of items, continue in the severely plain style in which they were first made, and are a boon to many ladies whose patience is completely exhausted in trying to keep pace with fashion's frivolities. Utilizing' the Toppy. The chief roadmaster of the Freneh j government railways says the best plant yet discovered for consolidating, by the j interlacing of its roots, the loose soil of a j newly made embankment is the double poppy. It is more efficient for this pur- J pose than any other of the grasses and clovcr usually employed. While these ' will require several months for the de- j velopment of their comparatively feeble roots, the double poppy germinates in a few days, and in two weeks grows enough * - il - to give some protection to me ?iopc, i while at the end of three or four months the roots, which are ten or twelve inches long, are found to have interlaced so as to retain the earth quite firmly. Although the plant is an annual, it sows itself after the first year, and with a little care the bank is always in good condition. In France the double poppy ia perfectly hardy, nnd can be sown at any time from March to November.?Boston Budget. It i< estimated that Dr. Murray's great dictionary of the English language will contain 240,000 words. -- - .S-, ( ' K'- ' I THE JOLLY JESTERr HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Exhaustive?What She Feared? What is It?Foolish Fears?Too Lively a Place?Extensive Plumbing in His Turkey. Biggies?"I suppose you have read that work by my friend Scribbler on the 'Transmutation of Mud?" De Jones?u0h, yes; I read it casually." Biggies?"Didn't you find it a very exhaustive work?" De Jones?"I should say so. went to sleep before I finished the first chapter."?The Rambler. What She Feared. "I understand, Mr. Softley," said Miss Muffin, "that you play the violin." "Well, yes, Miss Muffin, I?a?try to play the violin." 1 'That's what I heard. Tou see Mr. Softley, we are going to have a little sociable at our house next Thursday evening. I wanted to invite you, but ma?she is so very anxious not to give anybody any trouble?ma was afraid that?" "Oh, no trouble at all, I assure you Miis Muffin," eagerly interposed Softley. "It will be a positive pleasure to me to bring my violin." "Ye-s-s?that's what ma was afraid of."?DraJce's Magazine. What is It? Wc heard a good one the other day on ?well, wc hardly know which it is on, the lady or gentleman. The gentleman -was expecting an addition to his family, a fact which was of course known to the ladies of his congre ?there, we came near letting the cat out of the bag?and they of course took a deep interest in matters. The day before the advent of the little stranger, a well-known lady of this city was passing the house, and spoke to the gentlemeu, and he, wishing to show her some improvements that had been made on his building, said: "Come in; I want to show you something pretty." "Oh, dear," cried she, her face beaming with delight; "of course I'll come in. Wnat is it, a boy or girl?"?Emiuville ArgiLS. Foolish Fears. Young "Wife?"There's a gentleman in the parlor, dear, who wishes to see you." He?"Do you know who it is?" Y. W.?"You must forgive me, dear, but that cough of yours has worried me so of lot1, m l you lake such poor care of your health, and?and, you don't know how anxious I've been, and?and oh, if I were to lose you, my darling!" (Bursts into tears). He?"There, there, dear. Your fondness for me has inspired foolish and unnecessary fears. I'm all right; you mustn't be alarmed. But I'll see the physician, of course, just to satisfy you. Is it Doctor Pcllett?" Y. W.?"N-no, it is not a doctor, it's a?a?life insurance agent."?Life. Too Lively a Place for Him. "Yes, I've oeen up to Chicago," said a rvnfOAn*rrrr?tt KoaIt in />A1infrTf XIirili T? uj uttta iu tuv vvuuii j J "and I kin tell you it's a stirrincr place nor Jonesville. It made me dizzy to go through them strreets on an afternoon, an' a man hez to keep his. eyes open ef he don't want to be run into. Know how 'tisi myself, 'cause one day I stopped to look at sumthin' or 'nutlier on Madison street, when I was knocked down an' walked on." "By ahorse?" "No, but by pedestrians on the sidewalk. Ef you stop on them sidewalks yer a goner, sure's shootin'. Nothin' goes slow in that town. Even the old people an' cripples git around faster'n I kin. Why, only yesterday I wanted to cross some street or other. Before startin' I looked up an' down to see what was comin'. 'Bout a block away was several kerridges comin', but I thought I had lots of times, an' so I started. When I'd got 'bout half way acrost I heard a yell an' then I jumped, an' whizzin' by me went a peculiar lookin' vehicle with a man up on top of it drivin'. It went by so fast that it mighty near took my breath away, an' as soon as I could gather a little wind I asked the p'leceman on the corner what it was that had gone by. 4Is it a fire?' says I." "'Fire!' says he! 1 should say not. Ef it had been a fire engine it is taken yez to the morgue I'd now be. An' I've a moind to pull ye in, anyhow, for] ycr bad manners in gettifc' right in front of a dacent funeral.'" "That disgusted me with Chicager, an' I lit out for home by the next train. It's too stirrin' a place for me.? Chicago Herald. A Can-ny Cat. An old Cat, famous for his Bohemian habits and philosophical turn of mind, met a small Boy ana said to him: "Little Boy, did you ever tie a tin can to a Dog's tail?" "Yes, I've done it often," replied the Boy. "Well, I know a better way than that to have fun." "What is it?" "Just tie a can of milk to a Cat's tail." "Will it make the Cat run?" "Yes, indeed! It's the funniest thing in the world. If you were to tie a can of milk to my tail I'd nearly kill myself with running." "May I try it?" "Yes, if you'll stop the can up tight." The boy went to work at once and the can was soon securely tied. Then, with a sudden jump the Cat started down the road like a cyclone, a Salvation Army, an earthquake and a freight train, all rolled ; up into a grand combination. When the j careering animal had reached a sequestered place in the woods he paused and soliloquized somewhat as follows: "It's a lucky thing for creatures of j brilliant talent like myself that there are so many fools in the world, for if it were otherwise you would see the moat gifted I animals starving every day. Now, for j instance, if that silly Boy "had just one- j half of my shrewdness and ingenuity I never could have gotten this can of nice milk with so much ease. Moreover, I've gotten this prize honestly, for it is simply me iriouce mat genuia uauuis u* mcmw rity all over the world. There is nothing on earth like solid brain power. It's a tempting subject, and I could spin out a fine essay on it, but I must forbear. I must tiy this milk. I am tired as thunder dragging that heavy can, and my tail feels as if it had been unscrewed just back of my ear." With these words the Cat impatiently opened the can and found that it was filled, with mustard instead of milk. Moral?This Fable illustrates the imprudence of premature rejoiciug, and teaches that all the pretty day dreams - .-' * ' ;:..- - .; ; ??I WORDS OF WISDOK. The plant of happiness cannot thrirt without the air of cheerfulness. Organizations may chancre or dissolve, -:p; .ss> p . and illusive fantasies did not pass away with Aluascar and Malvolio.?New York Herald. Extensive Plumbing in His Turkey. Purchasers of food in some of the downtown markets are not always sure of what they obtain. A tall man of middle age went up to a market stall two eveeings ago and began to examine the display of turkeys and chickens. "Did you wish a large or small bird, sir," said the proprietor, persuasively waving his hand toward an extensive array of turkeys of all sizes. "Well, you see," said the buyer, confidentially, "I thought I'd give 'em a good solid dinner at home, and the family's pretty large, so I need a good deal." "That's right," said the dealer, genially, "we have a fine line of young holiday gobblers. Here is a beautiful bird," he added, taking down a large turkey, "weighs twenty pounds without trimming; nothing better in New York, large, delicious and economical." After some bargaining and proof of the weight, the head of the large family made the purchase and departed with a light heart and a heavy turkey. The next morning, as the dealer in fowls was counting his gains, his customer appeared, wearing a rather sour expression, antf laying a two pound section of lead pipe on the counter he said, deliberately: "When I buy a turkey I most generally expect to do the stuffing myself; any way not have 'em plugged up beforehand. I want to know how you explain that pipe which my wife found in the turkey you sold me last night." "You say you found this in the turkey?" inquired the dealer, examining the lead with great apparent interest. "Well, it's really remarkable what a healthy turkey will eat, but, my dear sir, you can't expect me to know just what Connecticut farmers fatten their poultry on, can you." "Oh, you can't fool me like that,"said the angry purchaser of lead pipe. "You stuffed that pipe into the turkey to make it heavy, ana you're a fraud I" "See here, my friend," said the dealer, i *v\v\?nnni tta! v* 1/ * r? ^ a rrn?? Viia naimfor liupreMiruj, icauiug JUQ WUUIVI^ "what is the matter with that bird? Don't its pipes draw well? Isn't the plumbing in that turkey good? Aren't the sanitary regulations perfect? And yet when everything ^bout that turkey is A No. 1, and the drainage fine, you come around here and tell me I am a fraud. The trouble is you want too much, but if j you think you can come in here and get j a whole gas main with a twenty-pound turkey, you're mistaken. Now get right j out of here, or I'll put a lead pipe into you." And the victim of the heavy weight turkey didn't wait to talk any more, but he hurried sadly away.?New York Tribune. The Flight of Wild Geese. Their rate of speed varies somewhat, under different circumstances, and seems ' not to be very accurately known. But though their flight is heavy and laborious, it is generally swift. Watching a flock of forty or fifty of these large waterfowl as they went flying over this. city on their journey toward the "land of cotton," their motion as well as their wild goblin cries could he distinctly marked. The flock, which was not formed in the customary triangle, but in a great irregular curve, was still led by the old gander, and his deeper note could occasionally be heard amid the din of the wild, reedy voices of his gobbling. He I may have been cautioning them to keep j well together, and promising a good time | ahead if they all kept bravely to the work?and the ladies of the company, as is apt to be the case, were all talking at ; j once, and eagerly giving all sorts of goosey assurances. But the interesting thing to note was the speed of the flock. They sped on through the scowling sky , at a tremendous rate; much faster, ap- , parently, than that of the fastest railroad train. , And these loquacious geese swept on like the wind?their long necks stretched out straight ahead, and their gurgling, reedy cries sounding almost continuous. , Those cries, perhaps only three days be- , fore, had blended with the fierce trumpet , blast of the shrill northwester, as it swept far and wide over the snow frozen wastes along the shores of Hudson's Straits?or even, it may be, of the lower part of Baffin's bay. For there seems to be no reason to doubt that these large, strong birds, in their lon^ migratory journey, fleeing from the wintry wrath, ri/\ roailtr ftppftmnlish SOft or 600 miles a 1 day.?Hartford Times. Kentucky Race-Horses. Forty years ago the most distinguished citizens of the State were engaged in writing essays and prize papers on scien- j tific agriculture. A regular trot 1 ting track was not to be found in the i whole country. Nothing was thought of i the breeding and training of horses with i reference to development of greater 1 ' speed. Pacing horses were fashionable; 1 and two great rivals in this seductive 1 gait having been brought together for a 1 trial of speed, in lieu of a track, paced a 1 mighty race over a river bottom flat! We l have changed all that. The gentlemen j no longer write their essays. The trot- I ting horse will soon, undoubtedly, bead- 1 mitted to manhood suffrage here, much 1 as beef once won the spurs of knight- I hood. He has already, even without the i right of voting, been styled the first citi- 1 zcn. The great agricultural fairs of the ? State have modified their exhibits with f reference to him alone, and fifteen or i twenty thousand people give afternoon I after afternoon to the contemplation ot \ hi9 beauty and his speed. His one rival f is the thoroughbred, who goes on run- 1 ning faster and faster. By-and-by time < will be no more. One of the brief code 1 of nine laws for the government of the i young Kentucky commonwealth that s passed in the first legislative assembly c ever held west of the Alleghanies dealt with the preservation of the breed of horses. Nothing was said of education. The Kentuckian loves the memory of ^ Thomas Jefferson, not forgetting that he i once ran race horses. These great inter- ^ ests, not overlooking the cattle interest, < the manufacture of whisky, and the rais- i ingof tobacco, will no doubt constitute i the future determining factors in the his. t tory of this country. Harper's Magazine ^ s His Impression. e if Dressed in his best he went to the riuk, 1 (The lady sits at her lattice, alone), 1 Causing the hearts of each maid to sink, I (Oh, surly dog that munches a bone!) ( Dashing aliout through the reckless throng. , (The oyster hums in the drowsy stew!) He sings to himself a gambolier song, f (To life the clam biadeth a fond adieu?) i "I am bound to make an impression." ( The best laid plans of men and mice? (Oh, woe to nim who believes belief!) 1 Will come to naught on the treacherous ice, ('Tis arnica that brings us surest relief,) My hero fell from his high estate? (The painter's art, fair Nature mars!) Joined together were hat and skate, * (Could the heavens hold so many stars?) f And I think he made an impression. , ?Chicago Sun. 1 but when parties cease tcT exist liberty will perish. In the opinion of the world marriage ends all. The truth is precisely the reverse; it begins all. Endeavor to be cool and steady upon all occasions; the advantages of such a steady calmness are innumerable. Don't expect your mill to bolt, doubleextra wheat flower if you never pour anything but coarse corn into the hopper. There are persons that it is not safe to hold out the olive branch of peace to, unless you have a club in the other hand. The more a man knows the less he is apt to talk?discretion allays his heat, and makes him coolly deliberate what and ^ where to speak. The happiness of the human race in this world does not consist of us being devoid of passions, but in our learning to command them. The difference between pride and vanity is, that one has a capital and the other has not. Vanity was never known to pay a cash dividend. While circumstances may often make or mar a man's life, we may often make the circumstances. The only way to conquer circumstance is to be the biggest circumstance on the spot yourself. Postmasters and Their Salaries. There are about 60,000 postmaster? in the United States. Those belomrinfir to ? tj o the first, second and third classes, who are appointed by the President, by and with the consent and advice of the Senate, comprise considerably less than onetwenty-fifth of the whole number. According to the last adjustment of salaries made in 1884, the exact number of post' masters in the three highest classes was 2,292. The remaining twenty-four twenty-fifths of the whole army of postmasters are appointed and removed by the postmaster-general. By the act of March 3, 1883, postmasters arc divided into four classes: Class 1, including thosQ whose salaries are $3,000 or more; class 2, those with salaries under $3,000, but not less than $2,000; class 3, those with salaries under $2,000, but not less than $1,000; and class 4, those with salaries under $1,000. The salaries of the first, second and third classes are graded in agreement with an established though somewhat arbitrary scale founded on the gross receipts of the office. Thus, to entitle a postmaster to rank in the first class, with salary of $3,000, the gross re- _ ceipts of his office must exceed $40,000 annually. In offices where the receipts are larger the salary is increased until the gross income of the office is over $600, 000, when the compensation of the postmaster is fixed at $6,000. The only exceptions to this' rule are the salaries of the postmasters of New York and of Washington, which have been fixed by special enactment?the former at $8,000 , and the latter at $5,000. Beside the postmaster at New York there are but five of these in the United States who receive $0,000; these are the postmasters at Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Boston, St. Louis and Chicago. Two only, in addition to that at Washington, have $5,000; these at are San Franciscp and Baltimore. All the others range at lower figures. An office with a gross income of over $8,000 entitles its postmaster to rank in the second class, with salary of $2,000, from which point it is graded upward to $2,900, with income at $35,000 to $40,000. The third class fixes the minimum of receipts at $1,900, salary $1,000, and maximum at $8,000, salary $1,900. The compensation of postmasters of the fourth class is based upon box rents collected at their office and . commissions upon the amount of canceled postage aue stamps and on postage stamps, omciai stamps, s tarn pea envelopes, and other revenues, exclusive of commissions on money-orders and postal notes, at the following rates: On the first $50 or less per quarter, 100percent.; 1 on the next $100 or less, sixty per cent.; on the next $200 or less, fifty per cent., and on all the remainder forty per cent. The salaries of all the postmasters are adjusted by the postmaster general once in two years, but special cases may be adjusted at any time. For, whenever H. the quarterly returns of any postmaster of the third or fourth class show that the salary allowed is twenty per cent, less '? than it would be on the basis of commission, it is the postmaster general's duty to increase the compensation without waiting for the biennial readjustment'? Inter-Ocean. The Lost Watch in the Wheat Field. A gentleman recently told me this singular incident of his own experience. In the spring he was returning to his home, and as it was growing dusk he took a * short cut through a wheat field. On reaching the house he found that he had tost his watch. Remembering he had looked at it to sec the time shortly before crossing the field, he procured a lantern and retraced his steps, hoping to Snd the missing timepiece. But all to no purpose; it was nowhere to be found. Months passed but there was no trace of the watch. Just before harvest, however, tie accompanied several friends to the , wheat field to show thcra the unusually ine development of the giain. Noticingsomething bright amid the waving wheat, ( le approached the spot, and, to his tmazement, beheld his watch and chain lupported by the slender stalks. He had n some inexplicable manner dropped ? ><? ?Vinin it- had follpn 11TV?T1 JKJ UI . V* dlV/U OKU V1&44AU , J v uivvt atMAwaa %.^WM ;he young wheat, and had been borne iloft by the lusty growth of tile cereal, [n spite of rain and sunshine, and 4<the ;vening dews and damps," it had not ?een materially injured. The wheat vhich upheld it has been carefully prelerved as a memento. ?New TorTc Commercial. Powei of Tidal Waves. The enormous power of ocean tidal vaves has frequently been illustrated, lotably when a United States war vessel vas carried two miles inland on the coast >f South America and left stranded there. fresh iustancc, even more remarkable, s reported from Batavia as a result of he Krakatoa earthquake, wfiich was the supposed cruse of last year's red sunsets. Jreat masses of white conil weighingsevsraj Ions, some of them estimated at from hirty to fifty tons in weight, were torn :rom their rocky beds and carried several nilcs in shore. The war vessel was light enough to float, and it only reouired suficient depth of water to carry ner inland or two miles, but these masses of coral nust have offered great resistance to the >nward flow of the wave. The story of ;he great convulsion of nature has still to told in its entirety.?Philadelphia j Ledger. tl ?? ? The electric light has been successfully ippliedat Woolwich, England, to photographing the interior of a cannon. Such nctures are expected to reveal the pres- ^ ;nco of flaws. ! i ii - rma