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THE WISDOM OF AGE. " "WouMst thou have back thy life again'' I asked an a^ed man; "Coulds-t thou not grander ends attain, | And better life's whole plan;"' " No, son," he said: " I rest content, And calmly wait the end. One life alone to man is lent. To waste or wisely spend. "If with the knowledge years bestow We started in the race. All plans might meet with overthrow And shamo ns wlih disgrace. " No combination man can make Insures complete success: The lucky winner takes the prize He won by random guess. " I would not say chance rules below? And nature shows design; Life is not.like the dice's throw, Luck follows laws divine. " Some men are bom to grace a throne, Some to a lepers doom; Yet equal light for l>oth hath shone Their spirits to illume. " My life has run through light and shade? The end is drawing i.ear: I long for rest all undismayed. And ask not back one year." ft. AN OCEAN CHASE. BY A DETECTIVE. "Aha! Burleigh, here's a job for you ?one that's got game in it, and a long chase, perhaps." It was the chief of the Scotland Yard detective force who spoke, as he stepped into the private office. A knot of "hale fellows well met.'' and I. an American, among the number, were engaged in a game of whist. I threw down my cards. The chief hande d me a telegram, which read as follows: Reading. ? Charles Burton, the infant h$ir of Beenham lod^e, was stolen from the lodge last niyht, it is suspected, by the nurse, in whose charge it was placed. She has dis appeareu. one i? um; u:uiiuo nun, u?uv? eyes; graceful ami easy in her manners, ami wears a plain, dark costume. Large reward for her capture, and the recovery of the child. Edward Pokdage. ."Where is Hccnham lodge!'' I inquired, as soon I had glanced at the dispatch. "Near Reading." ''The nurse will come to London with the child." "That is not so certain. This is doubtless a scheme to remove the heir to the Beenham estate by some person or persons who arc itching to obtain possession after Sir Edward Pordage's death." "Then you think they will not run the hazard of bringing the child here?" "Certainly not." With a flash my mind was made up. I started out of the office, and in a few minutes was in a train that was bearing me at a rapid rate toward Heading. Upon my arrival I secured a private conveyance, and, after a drive of a few miles, was landed at the entrance to the lodge. I was met by a gentleman, who received me with much warmth and withal agitation when 1 informed him that I had been placed on the case. "The object of my hasty visit is to glean some of the facts hi the case, and to follow up any intelligent clew, if there be any. Was this your child that was stolen. Sir Edward ?" "Bless you, no! I am a bachelor? never was married. Charles Burton was the child of ray sister. I am his uncle, and by will have made him the lineal male heir to the Beenham estates." "Have? you any other relatives, Sir Edward ?" "Yes; another sister, a spinster, Miss Applebee Lowage, lives with me, and has been my housekeeper for many years. She has also managed much of my business affairs of late, as I feel the weight of years increasing upon me." i "Who was the nurse, and what was her name?" "My spinster sister's waiting maid. Her name is Percy?Miss Jane Percy. A more docile, winning, and obedient servant we have never had in our employ. Charles Burton's mother died soon after Charles was born, and we took the helpless littie infant to our home and nursed it with the tenderest care. Miss Percy took such an interest in the child that DilU V>OA ^1 t til lilt 3UU tllill^tfailU ^ttiLIV.Vl to love it with a mothers love. Oh. I trust no harm has befallen it, wherever it has been taken!" "What is its age?" "About a year." "What motive, think you, was there for the abduction of the child?" "None that I can see, unless the expectation of securing a large reward for its return." ' Then you do not suspect that a plot has been formed among some branch of your relatives for the removal of the _ child?"' Sir Edward stopped for a moment, as if a flash of new light had entered his mind; but he stamped his ponderous cane on the floor and indignantly re jiuuu; ''My relatives steal that poor, helpless babe! No, perish the very thought of it. Not one could so dishonor the name of Applebee or Pordage." As I arose to depart, an elderly lady of the genuine spinster type walked gravely into the room and glanced furtively at me as she advanced. " This is Mr.?Mr."? "Burleigh," I interjected, to help the old man's memory. "He's a detective sent down from London to discover our poor lost child, and he wants to get all the information he can. Sister, give him all you can. You know what Miss Percy wore and what clothing the child had on." "I presume. Sir Edward, you can do that," she replied, rather tartly, and seeming to shrink from having anything to communicate. "Without wishing to force the matter, and making an apology lor haste, I took my departure, and I was soon back in London. I went at once to my room, and picking up a go'>d-sized gripsack, threw in some of my clothing, with the expectation that I migh; be required to make a long journey. Going out into the street, I ordered J cab and was driven to the Inman lin^ of steamers, where I ascertained the City of Richmond was expected to leave Liverpool early the next morning. "You have your passenger list, 1 presume ?" I inquired of the clerk. ' Certainly." "Will you please allow me to look at it?" "With pleasure." I glanced along the list of names, but could not see the one for which 1 was searching. 1 handed the paper back and was about turning away, when the thought occurred to me that it would do no harm to question the official a little further. "Do you sell the London passage tickets?" "Yes, sir"?somewhat sharply. "Do you recollect selling a ticket ' to a tall lady with blue eyes, blonde hair, and attired in a dark costume ?" "Very distinctly. 1 was attracted by her beauty. She's a lovely woman." "And she purchased a ticket "Two tickets." "Two tickets!" I ejaculated with some surprise, which drew the attention of the clerk. For once I had been thrown oil my guard. "And she had a child with her?in her arms ?" "I saw no child. I took her to be a young lady who might not object to a good husband." "Strange!" "No, I don't think so. She never was a mother." "Perhaps not; but then"? "Then what ?" " She might have some one else's child, you knowand I hastened out of the office and went to the railroad station, where I had the good fortune to catch the night express for Liverpool. So sure was 1 that I had got upon the trail of the child abductor, that I felt annoyed at every little delay along the route. My mind was in a glow of excitement. The game was big, but shy And cunning. Nothing less than the bird in the hand would make me feel any certainty of success. I must reach Liverpool before the City of Richmond took ner departure. If not, the pursuit would be longer, and?iight end in failure even then. When half the journey had been made, and the train was whirling through t.hft darkn(>?i{ nt, u tremendous speed, there was a sudden stoppage that foreboded no good. We came to a dead stop. One of the drivers of the engine haa broken down. The situation was interesting and rather exasperating to me. Some of the passengers slept on, oblivious to their surroundings. Not so with me. I fretted and chafed with disappointment. Two hours wore on. When at kng.h the injury had been repaired, and the train started on its course, I had the satisfaction of knowing* that I could not reach Liverpool before the steamer sailed. I resolved to take the chances, and so I curled myself up within my own thoughts. Just as I had feared, the steamer had sailed upon my arrival in Liverpool. My next thought was to cable to New York, giving a description of the woman and child, and have the former arrested. ( This would bring others into the case. I wanted the honor and reward myself. Beside, after careful reflection, I thought I might be on the wrong scent. The personal description seemed to tally. The two tickets, no babe in the woman's charge, and other circumstances led me to think that, after all, I might be mistaken. The thought of defeat drove me to devising every scheme for pursuit. A new idea noimed into mv head. I rushed to tin* otHce of the Guion lint*. ''When does your first steamer sail?*' I inquired of the clerk. ''To-morrow afternoon." ' What's her name?*' "The 'Alaska.'" ''The 'Alaska,' eh?" "Yes." ' She's a quick one?" '"Fastest vessel afloat." ' Do you think she can reach New York before the Inman's 'City of Richmond," which sailed this morning?" ' I should think so?will probably distance her by a day." "That would make a difference of over two days. "What of that, barring accidents?" Thrusting my hand into my pocket, I said: "1 want a cabin passage to New York." ' Your name, sir?" "James Burleigh, an American detective, anxious to cross the ditch and get hack home." With :i somewhat contented spirit I went to a hotel and waited for the hour of the "Alaska's" departure. I felt thai 1 was still in the race, hut my competitor having such a start, while I was left practically at the post, I was not so confident of winning, after all. Anyway, 1 was glad to sail for the land of my birth. The novelty of having been sent to England and the Continent in quest of some noted criminals who were wanted in the States had worn away, and I longed to see my friends once more. Nothing of special note occurred during the passage across. The noble vessel seemed as fleet as the wind. Day by day I studied with eagerness the log of the vessel to learn our rate of speed. Good fortune favored us with fair weather and sea. Upon our arrival at quarantine we learned that the "City of Richmond" had not yet reached port?in fact, was not expected till the next day. 1 came up to the city, engaged mv rooms at the hotel, ami made wnat preparations were needed for the execution of my plans. Lest the steamer might arrive at night, I stayed that night at Staten Island, to be near at hand. The precaution was unnecessary, as she did" not arrive till the next day. Accompanied by the health officers and others, I was soon on board, and walked through the saloon cabin with the nonchalent air of a person who had no other business than to hum a tune or twirl a cane. There was the usual bustle for disembarking. My eye could not catch the object of my search. Perhaps she was in her state-room. I would wait and sec. The vessel was rounding into her pier, but still no person who could by any stretch of the imagination be said to resemble the one I wanted. I rambled backward and forward, and then ascended to the aft of the steamer. There stood a tall, shapely woman, with her back turned toward me. She was twirling her sunshade and seemed absorbed in gazing at the many sights that commanded her view. I ventured to approach the rail. My I presence attracted her attention; she | turned her face toward me, there were momentary mutual glances. "What a a handsome face! What a charming figure! Stepping nearer, 1 ventured, in the most polite manner, to speak: "Glad to get back from your foreign tour. I presume. Miss " " Benson is my name/' ' Miss Benson, I took you to be an American lady. I am an American, returning, after a long absence, to my native land." ' I am so tired of this ship. How glad I will be when I step on shore a^ain! It won't be lorn; now?will it, sir?" " But a few minutes." "Pshaw! I've made a mistake," thought I. "This lady hasn't blonde hair. Her eyes arc more a steel gray than blue. Her costume is a steel-gray traveling suit. Then she is alone." But I thought I detected a decidedly English accent in her conversation. If she were Miss Jane Percy, where could the child be? If she had a companion. male or female, where was that mysterious personuge? I must not be foiled at this stage of the game. Once on land and swallowed up in the maelstrom of the masses, the child-stealer and tne child might soon lose their identity, I must act quickly. Confronting the fair woman, I said, in a stern voice: " Your name is not Benson. You are Miss Jane Percy, the abductor of the nephew of Sir Edward Pordage, of Been nam, luigianu. i am a ueiecuve. i uu are mv prisoner." The woman stood transfixed. Her form trembled?her cheeks blanchcd at tliis sudden encounter. Although capable of calm self-possess!oil, she was thrown otF her guard. Woman-like, her emotions overcome her, and she fell at my feet. ".Where is the child V She hesitated, and faltcringlv moaned: "Inthe steerage." She conducted me there, when my eyes fell upon the heir of tteenham Lodge, crowing fn the arms of a fat Irish nurse. I saw that my beautiful prisoner was comfortably provided for till the sailing i of the next steamer, and had the pleasure of placing the young hiir in the arms of old Sir Edward. The spinster sister, I stung at the action of her brother in making the line of the IUirtons. instead of the Applebees, the successors of his large estates, hud concocted this plot to abduct the child. True to his promise, Sir Edward bestowed upon me such a handsome reward that, with ordinary caution, the wolf need never howl at my door. Didn't Care for Her Own Book. i j Shortly after Miss A Icon's ''Little | Women" was published, says the New York Tribune. a quiet-looking lady entered a Boston circulating library and asked a lady clerk to pick her out a "good book that would rest and amuse her." Naturally " Little Women " was offered?and declined. " It's very nice; you'd like it," urged the clerk. ' I should not care to read it," said the other. " But at least look at it." "No." came the answer, (irmly and with an odd smile; "it is not a book that 1 should care too read." Then the clerk, pretty angry, walked away to the chief librarian and cried " There's a woman down there wants a book, and if you want her waited on someone else must do it: I won't." " Why. why not?" "Why, she says ' Little Women' isn't good enough for her to read." " Do you know who that lady is "No, and I don't care." " Well, I'll tell you. That is Louisa M. Alcott. Now go and get her a book." The Secret of Longevity. A French medical man who has just j died at the age <>f 1U7, pledged his word I to reveal the secret of his longevity, when I no more, for the benefit of others. It was I stipulated, however, that the precious cnI v.dope containing the recipe for Lng life j was not to be opened until he had been | buried. The doctor's prescription, now made known, is simple enough, and easy j j to follow: but whether it is as valuable us I he pretends is extremely doubtful. He tells his fellow-men that if they wish to live for a century or more they have but I to pay attention to the position of their j beds.* "Let the head of the bed be j placed to the north, the foot to the south, j and the electric current, which is strong- I ! er during th>- night in the direction of i I the north, will work wonders on tlicir j j constitutions, insure them healthful rest, i strengthen their nervous system, and pio- J long their days." It is, he adds, to J | scrupulous attention to the position of his i bed that he ascribes his longevity, the en| joymcnt of perfcct health, and the a j sence of infirmity. j Abe, aged four, wanted his mother to , let him make a lunch-bag for himself, j She gave him the necessary material, and ! when it was finished found he had left ! several small holes in the bottom of the j bag. When asked the reason of this Abe I replied: "It's to let the crumbs froo. It's such a bover to turn the bag inside out every time, and now they will tumble out themselves."?Harpers Bazar. TAtES OF THE HUMORISTS. I WAOGZSH STOBXES TOLD BY THB r rUNNY MEN OF THE PBESB. j i A Seriou* Case?All Improved Oppor- ^ tuuity? All Hustle?rrocccdingN of ( the l.iiuekilu Club?Topnoody. A SEKIOl'S CASE. 1 A violent ringnt the door aiul the docT*?o Anf /^f on nimnr win iui j?v/av,u ?io uvuu \f\Au v* ?? * >?.. (low and demanded: "What's wanted?" "For pity's sake make haste," came back the answer. "It's a case of life and death. I'm Mr. Simpson, and yon are wanted at tin* house immediately." The doctor closed the window, and in about fifteen minutes later sauntered leisurely out of the front door and said: "Ah, Simpson, your wife has another fainting spell. I suppose?" "No, no; worse than that; it's her little doi;, her pet poodle, lie's all rolled up with cramps." "What!" shouted the now alarmed physician, "her pet poodle sick? This is indeed serious. If he should die your wife wouldn't live a week." And the two men dashed madly \ip the street.?Philadelphia Call. AN I.MI'KOVKI) OI'I'OKTCNtTY. On Washington street, the other afternoon, the mass of snow upon the roof of a high building began to slide, and fell in a white and smothering cascade upon me crowueu sjucwiik. xjuv uiiiuiuiiiuii- i inan was caught by il and completely , buried from sight. Immediately the people who had avoided a share in his misfortune rushed to his assistance. One man groped in the snow and caught him by the leg; another got a purchase on Lis arm, and others gripping him by clothing and body, in due time ho was brought ' to his feet again. He presented a sorrowful spectacle, however. His hat 1 looked like a half-inflated concertina, his ' coat was torn, and his collar hung only by the button on the back of his shirt, ^ and wherever he disclosed a lodgingplace for the snow in his raiment or per- J son. there the chilling element had established itself. He was apparently lifeless, . also, and a great crowd collected, with every manifestation of sympathy. The 1 stranger soon revived, he sighed and opened his eyes, the flush of life returned to his ashen cheek. lie saw the con- j course about him and smiled, opened his , mouth to speak, and as the people crowded around to hear him, said: '! ''All?h! that was a narrow escape for ! me. The perils of winter, even in this j temperate zone, are indeed fearful. But how much more; terrible are they in the ' frozen regions of the Pole! I have here'1 ?and he opened a satchel which had sur- 1 vived the shock?"the new book describ- ( ing the sufferings and death of the Dc j I (innr lnirtv fnr whirh T .'HTl tilkinrr sub scriptions, and which I shoiddbe pleased to sell you at"?but here somebody yelled [ that another snow-slide was coming " and the crowd vanished like smoke.-- 1 Boxt'in Journal. AM. ltl'STI.K AND ? CoIoik 1 Percy Verger called last week J on the widow Flapjack to negotiate for * temporary board during the season of the ^ Texas legislature, and upon entering her ( residence he found everything in a state 1 of disorder, preparatory to the expected ' influx of poker experts and statesman- 1 ship. I "I see. madam," said Colonel Verger, 1 "that you are all bustle?" 1 "Sir!" interrupted the widow Flap- f jack, "what do you mean "1 notice that at the present moment ' you are all bustle?*' "Colonel Verger!" shrieked the indig- ' nant woman, "why do you seek to wrong ' and insult a lone widow who depends on f her own wits and the generous patronage 1 of her boarders for a living? This is, in- * deed, cruel. Oh, Potipher Flapjack! Why 1 did you die and leave me to be taunted * by the pitiless world on my infirmities of dress and personal appearance?" 1 "Madam," said Colonel Percy Verger, "believe me, nothing was further from * my intentions. I was merely remarking on the common, everyday fact that you 1 were all bustle, and?" 1 "There you go again?insult after in- 1 suit! Get out of my house, you monster. I may lie young and unsophisticated, but ^ I can avenge myself. Git!" "All right," said Colonel Yerger, back- 1 ing down the steps, and falling over a slop-pail. "You may be young arid tender as a spring chicken, but I assure you, madam, that for all that you arc all bustle und confusion, and I don't want to board in such a demoralized place, any- t way."?Texas Si/tings. t i TIIK LIMEKILN CLUB. > Brother Ilamiltonian Smith arose to t make an inquiry. He had often been r asked if it was forbidden in the consti- ? tution or by-laws of the Limekiln club for 1 a member to hold a position under the 1 State or United States government. 1 " I should reckon it wasn't-!" replied f the president as Smith sat down. "J)e \ members of dis club kin hold any sort o' i posishun dcy kin git, from sellin' red s lemonade in de big gircus tent to con- c ductin' de pension buro at Washington. 1 n<> nnlv nn dp. Kiibieek am to for- J bid de club, as a club, frjm.giv.in1 bonds t fur de honesty of any member hold in' a r posishun whar' he kin do any stcalin.' " t Major Chapultcpec Green secured the a tloor to inquire if the president intended r to be understood as doubting the honesty ^ of members of the club ? That is, if s Waydown Bebec, for instance, was a i clerk in the city treasurer's office and had r a chance to lav his hands upon $10,000, r would he do it ? n "He probably would, sail! I)at is, dar' i am so many probabilities dat he would f pocket de money an" skip fur Yurrup dat t de club wouldn't go on his bond. When 11 white men all ober de kentrv am daily \ sellin' out deir reputation fur honesty t fur a few hundred dollars apiece, it r wouldn't be safe to leave a black man 1 alone wid a package countin' up into t de thousands.A n Lai:d Officer Baker, chairman of the 1 comin ttee on ways and means, reported r that after four months of investigation c and correspondence his committee had e finally secured the services of a weather i prophet for the club. They had sent a him a dollar bill for a sample of his i predictions, and he had promptly re- i turned the following: c "February will be soft and mild, and | robins and bluebirds will be in great de- f maud. You can take oil" your under- f shirts and sell the balance of your coal." < " March will come in early and prove eminently satisfactory. Hurry up your plowing and plant your peas and cucumbers. llouse-rent will fall at least < this month, and the season for getting 1 trusted at the grocers' will open ten days ( earlier than usu;:l. ' n The chairman > .' d that the name of 1 the prophet was I nele l'ayson St tilths, < and that he would bind himself to pre- } diet solely for the Limekiln club at a ? salary of $1 per month. t On motion of Bombazine llowclls the | ofTer was accepted, and it was ordered ' that all the lines collected for spilling on . the stove should be turned into tin- | weather prophet fund. /'We /'/>??. I TO|'.\OOI>Y. | Mr. Topnooily was buttoning up hi>. ' coat to go downtown Monday night, and 1 as he closcd in with the lire, lie remarked J to his wife: "My dear, this is :i terribly cold ' night." " Yes, Topuoody, quite cn|i| cnoiif/li I for a seal-skin sack."' " But, my dear, I don't think it will 1 last," lie continued, not recognizing lhe hint or the interruption. ; " No. I don't think it will. In fact, Topnoody, I feel quite sure that by next July there won't be enough frost in the ground to kill a potato-bug." " My dear, you are getting to bo real J funny, ain't you?" "Oh, yes, I've been reading the funny 1 newspapers, and I have to do something to dispel the gloom." "I think, my dear, that this is the coldest weather I ever experienced." ' Possibly, Topnoody. but that is not my experience." "Xo? Why, my dear, we have always ' lived in tiiis neighborhood, and 1 cer- 1 tainly would remember any colder 1 weather than this." "I don't care what you remember; I 1 know what I know." "You were never any farmer nortn, were you?" "No." ' Then, ray dear, I am sure you arc < mistaken. I have kept a record of the i weather, and I know the temperature of i every day for the past thirty years, and i none is colder than this.' i "There is one day you haven'*'- re- ] corded, Topijuody, but i've trot it down i in my mind and have had it thffre fresher i every hour since its occurrence." ] "And are you sure that it was a colder l day than this?" t "Yes, 1 know it." < ir "Well, I'd like to know, what day it J vas so I can make a note of it." "It was the day, Topnoody, that I s narried you, aud the more I think of it md of you,the more I am convinced that t was the coldest in mv life, and you ^ enow me well enough to know that it is )nly on a very cold day?" "Good evening," said Topnoody, makng a break for the door.?Merchant- }j Trawler. * 0 s: Her Last Request. t! "I do not doubt you." C Esmcrelda W. Pike spoke these words b n clear, rinjrinsr tones, but beneath the fi esonancc of her voice there was a faint pi juivering?the mere suggestion of a sob 'I ?that would have told an obscrvauf o istcner the old, old story of a love that i> a-as shattered forever, of a beautiful ait C astlc in whose halls stalked only thr a 'rim spectres of desolation and woe, and from whose turrets a great sorrow kept i' silent vigil over a world that could never d igain seem bright or joyous. Be ii girl v jverso proud in spirit, be her nature even c if the stoical, unyielding kind that can c bear disappointment and adversity with- ? jut a tremor of the muscles or a quiver of 'i the nerves, there is yet one time in her J life, one moment of supreme horror and v <rrief, when the sunlight of happiness ? ieems to have faded forever from the hori- " ion of her existence, and the black pall i r t< Jl till IUUUUl ? lian <11/ i?tr?v become a terrible reality, falls \ipon the u ghastly corpse of a dead love?a love c uruelly murdered by the one who above }' ill others should have chcrished and pro- 1 tectcd it?che man at whose bidding it 'j has grown and expanded like a beautiful !> [lower that needs only care and attention f to be forever a thine of joy. It is a solemn thing for any man to ^ ivin the love of a pure and trusting girl? ? x love that knows no boundaries, that ? exists only for the one man in all the t ivide, wide world, at whose heart it is t ilTered up as from an eternal incense, v tnd that when turned aside from the ob- 1< ject of its adoration burns with even p licrccr llame than before, and leaves C behind it only blackened ashes and the t harred corpsc of a dead and gone alloc- ^ tion. s George W. Simpson knew this, lie t knew that Esmerelda's love for him was (1 not an ephemeral fancy, but a strong, n unwavering, you - can - chew - my - gum - 11 ivhile-I-am-reciting passion that would r [rather intensitv and force as the years s went by, and that when the autumn of s life had come would, like the ripening i^rain, be even more beautiful and endur- v ing than in the days of its lusty youth, ' [t was this knowledge that made the v 'ask of parting forever trom Ksmerelda s such a hard one. But in spite of his a tight pants George \V. Simpson was a c nan in whose nature there was a strong *' dement of duty, and he felt that, no r' matter what present sorrow might arise a from such action, it was best that the a :ic which bound them together?the r' solemn tie of a plighted troth?should be n sundered, rather than that a greater n jricf, a more biighting misfortune. I1 should fall upon them later in life. And s so when he had told Esmerelda? v whispered the words to her softly as they stood there beneath the linden trees that 81 - - --- * ? 11... ....V I n sou, uuuimmu evening, iiic signing wimi j hat wafted subtle aroma of corned beef 'rom the next house kissing the fair 11 heck of the girl and toying with the 0 nass of golden hair that sat upon her lead like a crown?there had been in his 11 ,'oice a certain something that told the c jirl more plainly than could a.iy words b hat behind the studied calm of his dc- r ncanor, far back in the woodshed of his ? >oul, there was a secret?a dark, fly-in- 11 he-cream-pitcher secret, of which she c enew notliing. t "What is this terrible mystery that 8 nshrouds your action, darling?" asked r he girl, looking up to him in the dumb 8 igony of an awful grief. "Even though 1 ,ve are to be separated forever, it seems M o me that I have yet a right to know t< vhat it is that has desolated our lives. ?an you not grant this, my last request?" 8 "No," he says, in a voice that is hoarse vith agony, "I date not tell you." h "Hut I demand an answer to my ques- ? ion," she says, imperiously. 8 He regards her a moment in silence, a ind then, just as he turns to go, she t : I asps his arms and looks up to him with d t pitiful pleading in her brown eyes. ^ "For the sake of our dead love," she ^ vhisptrs, "tell me." " Bending over the frail form, George v vhispers in her ear one little word: v "Chilblains."?Chicago Tribune. 81 Vegetarian Restaurants. It is a somewhat rem irkable fact that s he London restaurants which one is j, nost likely to lind overcrowded at the lsual luncheon hour arc precisely those n vhich supply the public with only vegeable articles of diet, or, at least, with a lothing that has involved the taking r iway of animal life. There arc now at 0 east four such restaurants in London. ( Snter any one of them about middav, or 0 )etwecn 1 and 2, and you will probably t; ind that you will have to look well about a rott before you can find place at a table. ]( .'erhaps you may even have to stand for ]j ome minutes waiting your turn for one ti >f the places already in occupation, p iVhat does this mean? Docs it imply that v iondon is rapidly getting converted to v he principles of vegetarianism? Is it a v egard for the sacredness of animal life 0 hat induces so many to satisfy t liemseives a vitha vegetarian luncheon? Oris it a f( espcct for any of the other arguments n vhich vegetarians so fervently adduce in v iipport of their principles? We suspect lot. "We can hardly believe that an inlovntion of this nature is making such lipid way merely on the strength of high ibstract principles. If the matter were c nquired into, it would no doubt be n bund that but a small proportion of b hose who comic for vegetarian luncheons 0 ire strict vegetarians, or even have strong n egctarian leanings. Beyond the attrac- b iveness of name in which vegetarian c estaurant keepers vie with the vender of tl icefsteak in striving to allure customers, here must be other attractions which en- s; ible them to be so successful as they are. ii '"irst among those attractions must be ti eckoned, as we are bound to acknowl- |, idge. the wonderful, varied, palatable, u md even appetizing nature of the diet b tself. In a vegetarian bill of fare a be- g vildering variety of vegetables appears in t i still more bewildering variety of dis- t [iiises. There art! soups of a quite novel h icscription; there are salads and savories; }| mddings and other sweets, cold and hot: tl ruits cooked and uncooked, and various t arinaceous and other addenda.?London li '//ohc. - fi To Wear Uniforms. a On and after May 1 the male employes e )f the United States Lighthouse Kstab- tl ishment, including about twelve bun- a Ired lighthouse keepers and the keepers ' md crews of lightships and tenders, will tl >e obliged to wear a regulation uniform ti >f blue, with cap or heinlet and brass v mttons. Many ot these men are stationed 11 m remote headlands and islands along c In- coast and do not visit the haunts of ri ih-ii from one year's end to another. Ii I'liese will not he able to display their tl ^orifcoiisni'SH save to the observant water- si owl und contemplative clam, hut the tl ij/ht house hoard, which has ordered the a iiiil'iiiniii;', believes the men will he nl 1 c In belter for il. The de|iartineiit is tin- I l?-i ,1 :-|,ecicn of military discipline, and a Military clothcM, it thinks, will enhance v hi-fjirii ili ntr/iM of the organization. |i I'll' men will lie furnished with their uni- n forum at $17 each for llannel and $'il for ii ken,ey aiI. The regulation Imttons o will lie oniamejiletl with the monogram u "I . S." lllld I lie I e 11 el's "L. II. K.''sig- |: aifyin;/ li<>litli'iiine establishment. V < 'aptitin (ieor^e N. Brown, l.'nitcd s State!" Navy I.i|/hthoii.se. inspector of the s Third district, which embraces the terri- r lory between the .Massachusetts lint; and Harne^al, also the Hudson river and t bake <'hamplaiii, said that all the :{()(> men under him were pleased at the order, f Tlicy could x< t a lirst rate suit of clothes ' at a much lower price than in any other t way. Caplaiu JJrown thought it would ' ii bo well for the government to ]?rovide n uniforms free of charge, as the men in the a department <lo not receive very high pay. n Ida Lewis and her sister lighthouse t< keepers, of whom there are a few in the y service, will not share in the privileges I ar penalties connected with the uniform / rule, nor will those holding acting appointments or working as substitutes be permitted to don the blue and brass.? New York llcrnld. c "" t, Treatiug Dyspepsia with Sand. s, T^r CI TCnrlnu nrnrnpc frnm tho f?r?ta nf 7? comparative physiology, that fine sand is Ii \ good thing for dyspeptics to take with y their food. Herbivorous animals all eat t; x little dirt with their regular food, and h it makes it more "porous." Fowls and tl birds of all kinds also take sand with d their meals. "Why not, therefore, man? n says Dr. Kerlus. Putting this brilliant n [jiece of inductive reasoning into prac- v :icc, he has administered linclv ground C' and with the food of his patients, and u )f course reports cures. S JFE AMONG THE LEPERS. AO SCENES AMONG THE SANDWICH ISLANDERS. 'akiiijf Dinner at the Leper Settle* ment of the Kingdom of Hawaii ?Daily Life of the Leper*. A correspondent of the Chicago Aeics as been describing the leper settlement f the Sandwich Islands at Kalawao. He ive tlir> loi>cr? wfrc rnllnd to dinner "bv lit* ringing of a bell, to whose rope a hinaman attached himself and swnng ackward and forward for about ten or fteen minutes. The cook-house and uting-room arc under the same roof, 'here was a long range, a simple outfit f pots and pans and other utensils, and i charge of it all there was an austere 'hinaman, who ruled his subordinates nd scullions with a ladle of iron. "The cook was an atrophical leper, as i contradistinction to one suffering unci the tuberculc form of the disease, , hich is by far the most revolting up to a ertain last conditi on. Then the atrophial form twists and turns its victim in all orts ot shapes, i i is extremities fall crumbing awav, and every limb loses its shape, ohn had not yet succumbed to these rorst phases of the malady, but it was vident that lie would soon have to give ver the active me uc naci occn ioiiowug. He shambled over to the tuba ontaining poi, tlie national dish, and Irew back the clean white cloths that ovcred them. I don't know whether on have ever seen poi or not. but it is as ike incited lard in appearance as possiile, and contains the element of lood nd drink. It is a little sour and is made rom a tuber called kara, resembling a otato. The natives cat. it with their ngers, fetching it to their mouths by a ;raccfnl gesture,which the whites in vain ttcmpt to follow. I remember the first imc I saw poi eaten was at a na ivc feast. My particular companion i-as a dark-haired, dark-faccd_ woman, mown as the Princess Like Like, but irefcrring to be called Mrs. Archibald Jleghorn, because she married a man of hat name. She dressed from Paris and ad a new hat from Regent street, and he wore gloves of at least twenty batons' length. The Kanaka women can rcss, and do, when they have the loncy. After the roast pi<j and cocoaiut milk came poi. When the tub cached my companion she stripjx?d her hapely arm, and, making a kind of poon-shape form with her fingers, dipped uto the tub and swung her elbow outran! and brought the contents of her st in a sweeping curve to her lips. It ras nearly a teacupful of the food, but he swallowed it at a gulp without spilling drop or leaving on her red lips a partile of the food. I glanced around; the oreigners were watching me. I made a esolve; down went my list, up came bout a teaspoonful, dripping everywhere nd flying olT the tangent of my hand it cached No, I beg your pardon, ot my mouth, but. in equal quantities, ly shirt-front and the lady's cheek. The cople yelled with delight, and I made liift to clean myself from the plight I ras in. Ah. well! it was a happy accient, for after that the lady fed me herelf, and with such an attendant I would ?viir lnnrn to Pflt for mvsfilf. v' *v"" *" "V "But from this pleasant recollection I lust turn to the sixty or seventy gallons f poi which forms a part of the lepere' inner. It is in good preservation, und 11 very clean tubs. Then there is a great opper of salted lish which has been ioiled and boiled till it has no longer any (. semblance to fish except by the presence f bone and skin, which don't increase Is palatiibleness. The bread is from oarsc flour, but is tolerably sweet. All liese having been put upon the oilcloth pend out upon the floor, the Chinaman ings the bell in the manner I have decribed, and the lepers come hopping in. 'here is not room for all of them, and ;rcat numbers come to carry away food 0 places where they may eat it at their jisure, but nearly four hundred lind lielter in the mess-room, the women havug one end, the men the other. The sh and the poi was swept into their louths the same way, there being neither poons nor knives and forks. They all tc out of the tubs together. One might hink that the more virulent types of the isease would be disseminated, but if such 1 irnlced the case there is no doctor to lind t out, or way to check it. "Wheu they ad'finished Father Dainen said grace iff krw.flv iiml thf?v (lisivrsi'd. Some I rent one way to get in the shade, others cooted ofT to their cottages to sleep, and few went to work in their gardens. 5ut they took little interest in their work, i fact, they soon joined the indolent mjority and lay blinking in the sun and hade, apathetic, hopeless, but patient, >st to the world already and half the rials of death already overcome, but ine the happier for that reason. Not a laugh did I hear, nor a jest, nor happy word. Occasionally a smile, in esponse to a kind word, would struggle ut from the leathern-colored faces, but he sparkle in the eyes would soon die ut and the shriveled lips fall back to tieir places. At ."> o'clock tea was given, nd after that came sick call. Kverv jper attended that. Thev brought ottles in which were given them soluions of iodide of patassium. Then they asscd in line, displaying their sores, rhich are rarely bandaged, and upon ;hich the attendant plastered, with a oodeii spoon, great chunks of mercurial *- i ti... mtinent. n was a sun procession ui mi fllictcd, a more pitiful sight than I care a describe, probably more sad than the lost morbidlv inclined of my readers ;ould care to know of." Taken In. Derrick I)odd tells in the San Franisco 7W how a crew of amateur oarslen were taken in and done for. The ovs were waiting for a belated member f the crew when a well dressed and lodcst young stranger strolled into the oat-house and began to inspect the quipments with great interest. This is lie way it turned out: "I'll tell you what we'll do, fellows," lid the stroke. '"As No. 4 isn't comig, suppose we coax that dude there to ike a row and bust him all up?" The cnctration of this time-honored joke pon a ''softy" was received with appro ation, and tlu* newcomer was, with a rand show of hospitality, invited to take lie vacant oar. "Well, I don't knowgenIcmen,"' said the young man, looking at is watch doubtfully. " I'm a stranger ere. I do need a little exercise, hough." "Oh, get in," said number wo, winking at his companions; "a ittle spin will do you good," and they nally persuaded "the victim of their imlly scheme to take oil his coat and ssuinc a club cap. "Now keep your ye on me and try to keep time," said lie captain. "You'll never, never make n oarsman unless you watch the stroke." I'll do llie host I can. irentlemen.*' said Ik* guest, meekly. " I'm always willing improve." The boat went down toward Hunter's point a couple of miles at 11 easy three-quarter stroke, the ncwonier pulling away manfully with llie L'st, and when they eased oil to turn ack they were surprised to observe that lie stranger did not appear to be quite i) much blown as they expected. ,l Now. lien, young feller," said the stroke, with grin, "try to keep up with the proession. Hit her up, boys. Hard all!" tut, somehow, the stranger scratched long with the rest., ami, though the pace ,as something like forty-six when they asscd Butchertown. the victim serenely awed away and the bowman even magined that lie splashed less than any ar in the boat. When they finally drew pto the llojit, nnd while the crew were anting for wind, spitting rut ton and nping their <Irippin^c faces, the " pasenger'' looked around, with :i childlike mile upon his uulhishcd face, and softly ( marked: " Why didn't you spurt her?" "Spurt he dickens" panted the striker; "why ?er what the or?1 say, young oiler, where did you come from?'' 'From New York, gontlemen," replied he stranger, modestly, as he slipped 011 lis coat and started up the wharf. "My iamc is Hanlan?and I hope to see you 11 at Yallejo on Thursday. (Jood norning." And since then all you have 0 do to got fourteen stretchers tired nt 011, is to stick your head into the 'ioneer club house and veil, " Hard ill !" The Youngest Soldier. The smallest, shortest, and youngest nlisted soldier in the Union army is said t> have been John II. Nichols, of Madirtn, Wis., a drummer in the band of the Seventh Wisconsin infantry, and now iving in Madison. lie was fourteen cars old when lie enlisted, weighed sixI'-tive pounds, and was just four feet igh. So far as youth is concerned in (lis matter priority seems to be pretty ctinitely settled in favor of "Little.Johny" Clem, the "drummer boy of Chicalauga," who was only nine years old hen he entered the army. Captain lem, who is also below the average statre, is now in command of the United tates Schuylkill arsenal.?Troy Timea. FORTRESS AND GUNBOAT. A FEDERAL CBUISEB'S ADVEUTUHE EST POBTtTOUESE wateks. The Fortrcs* Which Protect* l,ii*b?n Harbor Hardy E?caplnK DctitrucHon?A Story of tlic I,ate War. The story of how the little fortress of Helena, .which protects Lisbon harbor, was nearly destroyed by an American cruiser appears in the Philadelphia m- iA... i_r i. t.?:? ir~.. i lilies^ us juiuniiaut uuni^ tuu uv/u. James K. Harvey, American minister to Portugal under Lincoln, from whose lips the narration was heard. " Yes," said Mr. Harvey, " the Portuguese arc a very trying people to have diplomatic dealings with. You have to be exceedingly firm with them and it is only by a strong insistance upon your point that you can carry it. Twice during the time I was at Lisbon I had' fully made up my mind to demand my passport. Nothing but my evident determination to suspend diplomatic relations unless my demands were complied with brought the Portuguese ministry to terms. The first occasion was when the Confederate cruiser Stonewall came into Lisbon for coal and provisions. I said very plainly to the minister of foreign affairs tliat either the Stonewall must go in a certain time or I would go. The minister hemmed und hawed and tried to get out of it. But finally he agreed to my demand, and it was settled the Stonewall would go at once. Before she got away a new trouble arose from the United States frigate Niagara crossing the bar in pursuit of the Stonewall. Before his vessel anchored I consulted Captain Craven as to whether he could whip the Stonewall or not. lie said he was perfectly willing to fight if I wished him to, but he thought it would simply be throwing away his vessel and the lives of his men, the Niagara being an old wooden frigate, though heavily armed, and the Stonewall an ironclad. Under the circumstances it was concluded not to make the light, but to let the Stonewall depart in peace. " At the urgent request of the Portu...i. ^ / r..i guese ministry, who wuri; iiiiiuu ui <m engagement taking place in their waters should the vessels anchor near each other, I directed Captain Craven to anchor near the fortress of Belem, some two or three miles down the river, until the Stonewall had put to sea. As soou as she had gone he was to come up and anchor opposite the city, where the Confederate was then lyin^. I had promised the Portuguese ministry that,in accordance with international law, the Niagara would not, of course, leave the harbor until the Stonewall had had twenty-four hours' start. But the ministry, not altogether trusting either my assurances or Captain Craven's pledged word, had given the officer in charge of the garrison at Belem orders to fire upon the Niagara should she attempt to leave the harbor soon after the Stonewall. Of this instruction I knew nothing." Within the appointed time the Stonewall steamed slowly past the Niagara, which vessel, with steam up and guns loaded, lay ready to show a good light were any insult offered to"the (lag. Nothing of the kind being attempted, when the Stonewall was well over the bar the Niagara bc??an leisurely to get under way. in order to proceed up to the city. She had hardly started when bang! went a gun at her, tired from Belem, fol lowed by anotner and anotner. At nrst all on aboard was amazement, followed by more amazement, and then indignation, with a desire speedily to return shot for shot. The hoys, disappointed in having had no brush with the Stonewall, soon became not ill-pleased at this chance to have a shot at somebody. The eleven-inch guns were trained on the little bird-cage of a fort; the prize marksmen took a good sight, every gunner seized his string, and in twenty seconds more Belem, the beautiful Belcm; Bclcm, the choicest work of Emanuel the Great; Bclcm, sacred to the mighty Yasco di Gama?in twenty seconds more Belcm would have been knocked into a cocked hat. But the command to tire was delayed and delayed until the men thought Captain Craven must have lost his wits. Not so. He had ideas as to what was the tine cause of his vessel being fired on, and wished, if possible, to restrain the men until it could be shown his idea was correct. 'Suddenly the tiring ceased. Every man waited to hear another shot, but 110 more camc. Then; was huge disappointment on board the Niagara at thus a second time being balked of a fight and much grumbling, but no disobedience. The vessel anchored opposite the city without further adventure.'' Mr. Ilarvcy speedily asked from the Portuguese Ministry the meaning of this (apparent) gross insult to our nag. ine ministry were all apologies. It was a mistake. The officer in charge at Helena when he saw the Niagara heading out to sea thought she was pursuing the Stonewall and fired at her, per instructions, lie did not realize that the Niagara, being a long vessel, had to make a circuit before she could turn her bow up stream. As soon as the vessel, which steadily proceeded to describe the necessary semi-circle, began to head up toward the city the officer perceived his mistake and ceased firing. This was all the explanation the ministry proposed to make, and doubtless it was the true one. Hut .Mr. Harvey knew very well that unless a more ample and public apology were made the insult to our fiag would be telegraphed all over Europe, the explanation would not be considered .sufficient, the Confederates would laugh at us and the national honor would suffer, lie therefore insisted upon two things: 1. That the officer who had ordered the firing at Belem bo dismissed. 2. That our fiag be publicly saluted. To the first of these demands the Portuguese gov"? ? 1 1 A.\ .1 4.X crnmcnt reauuy aeceueu; uie sixuiiu mcv strenuously resisted. It was only when Mr. Ilarvey threatened a secou'i time to demand his passport that they finally gave way. Accordingly, the next day the American flag was hoisted at the fort and saluted with twenty-one guns; the Niagara replied by hoisting the Portuguese Hag at her mainmast and similarly saluting it, when all was peace and harmony once more. Monsters of the Deep. A thrasher shark caught oil the New England coast recently measured over fifteen feet in length. It stove in a plank of the dory, nearly upsetting the boat, and destroyed a net valued at $.>00. A costly catch. The shell of a fossil turtle of a tertiary time unearthed in India and placed in the British museum, was nearly nine feet in length and twenty-seven in width. Its feet were as large as those of a rhinoceros, and when alive the animal must have been over twenty feet long and have weighed several ton?. The largest living animal is the rorqual whale, one hundred and two feet in length: the smallest, the amoeboid forms. Whales and elephants live to the greatest age. 15J0: May flies the shortest, only a few hours. The most intelligent of the lower animals, ahead even of the Australian bushiucn and others, are the ants. The contents of a shark caught at Virginia, Flu., show that these animals are valuable scavengers. The items were as follows: one complete horn of an ox. with part of skull attached, three hoofs. )wo tomato cans, a quantity of old rope, twenty-seven crawfish, and the remains of apart of ahorse. A slaughterhouse! in thevicinitv was the explanation. Aniony the deeit sea fishes one has been found, the Uathyophis ferox. living oil the Australian roast, at a depth of three and a half miles. It was totally blind, but provided with oval luminous spots along its lower surface, and on the head. These are supposed by some naturalists to have as much the functions of eyes as those of the mollusks. Large fishes are nearly always accompanied by the rcmora, a fish that has a sucking disk upon its head. When tired they turn over on their backs and attach themselves, and are thus carried along !?v the fish. The remora of the sword-fish is remoropsis braehyptcrus, that of the spear-fish is rhombochirus osteochir; other kinds are found upon sharks, turtles, ami even on the sheepshcad. What the English Tlirono Is Made Of. The throne of England, so splendid when covered with silk velvet and gold, is, in fact, only an ''old oak chair," over 800 years in use for the same purpose. Its existence has been traced back to the days of Edward I. The wood is very hard and solid. The back and sides were formerly painted in various colors, and the seat is made of a rough-looking sandstone twenty-six inches in length, seventeen inches in breadth and nineteen and a half in thickness, and in this stone lies the grand peculiarity of tin; chair. Numberless legends are told in connection with it, the truth probably being that it was originally taken from Ireland to Scotland, and served at the coronation of the early Scottish kings. -Xer York Ncicn, LOVE'S REQUEST. Dear heart, when I am dead, And o'ver my grave the lowly grasses creep; When birds unhreJed sing above my head, And fail to wake mo from my dreamless sleepI would not have ynu sorrow o'er my rest, And mourn with hopeless passion in your breast. When joyful Spring returns With myriad buds and blossoms in her train; When o'er the fields the lilies' watchflre burns, And violets blossom, wet with April rain; I would not from your eyes have tears to fall, Because, dear one, I cannot see it alL And when the birds again With music gladden all the summer day, As if their little hearts ne'er felt a pain; When all the earth with life and song is gay; I would not have your young heart sorrowing Because I cannot hear the glad birds sing. I would not have the earth? This beautiful, bright earth, where for us two So many joys have had their happy birth, So much of beauty drifted to our viewLose for thy heart one charm it held of old, Because my heart is passionless and cold. Dear friend, I would not ask That thoughts of me forever fill your mind, I would not on your life impose the task, 'Mid all earth's brightness and ita joy, to find Onlv rlnrk shndnvvs. sorrowing and Woe? Ah! no, dear one, I would not have so. But when tho day Is done. And nil its heart-aches and its care* laid by; When from the west slow sinks the setting sun, And evening's early stars are in the sky; Should you look upward to the world of air, And breathe my name in some half-whispered prayer? Or, when your feet were free To wander to the low mound where I sleep, If you should come and calmly think of me It seems that in my slumber.? cold and deep, I'd know that you were standing by my side, And in my inmost soul bo satisfied. ?J. S. Cutler, in Boston Transcript. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Miss Alcott says "she has fallen in love with a great many pretty girls in her life, but never once the least bit with a man." Just so with us.?Boston Post. "When in society never talk of yourself," is the injunction of an authority on etiquette. That is, of course, you should t,alk about other people.?towell Citizen. A young lady of this city, who has a girl in Warren, and one in Corry, and another in Mcadville, may be said to be already conducting a circuit court.? Derrick. "Dig graves for old follies and errors," says Ella Wheeler. That's the way to do, dear Ella; but where can you get enough cemetery room for all the corpses? Courier- Journal. An exchange gravely propounds the following conundrum: "Why are mules said to be stubborn?" The only reason we can think of is because they are.? Burlington Free Press. .Mrs. Alexander Hamilton is credited with being the first to introduce icecream into American history. We rather surmised there was a woman at the bottom of it.?Sttitesmnn. Zadkicl's almanac for 1884 contains no ominous events for the United States. Zaukiel evidently thinks that American leap-year privileges will bring trouble enough for one country. ?Philadelphia Press. "Freddie, did you go to school today?'' "Yes'm." "Did you learn anything new?" "Yes'm." "What was it, my boy?" "I got on to a sure way of gcttin' out for an hour by snuffin' red ink up my nose."?Hartford Journal. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the limberger cheese is stronger than both of them put together. We have been told of a piece of liml>erger which was thrown in the river, and which calmly turned around and began to swim up stream.?Blizzard. A leap-vear society, for the protection -r :. UI JUUIlg IIIUIIJ IS iiuu ut IU UC Many a young man whose mother would not board himself and a wife will this year be lassoed by some ardent young woman and dragged down to matrimony. The society cannot get to work a moment too soon.?Courier-Journal. We sat beside the glowing lire, The hour was growing late, I turned and to my heart's desire Said: "How you fascinate." And then she said, with smile benign: "With flattery nave done: I cannot ftiscinati,?or?nine? But I can fascinate one." ?Evansville Argus. Fox Worship. Among the Japanese, it is said, is a mythical person called Uza. Uza was deified, and honors supposed due him are daily offered to his accredited servants, tnc loxes. 1 ms auoraupn is acuunicu m the belief that Uza (sometimes called Inari) discovered and cultivated the rice plant, and all through Japan may be seen shrines or temples for fox worship. It is one of the prevailing superstitions, Jind the priests of fox temples bring offerings every morning to the two foxes or badgers dwelling securely underneath the small building. At the shrines are two gilded foxes. Before them is placed a tray, upon which are small bowls of rice, and foxes molded in sugar, all supposed to be most gratefully received. Penetrated to the Bone. Alderman John Baxter, Toronto, Can_ 3 - il.i c?i. r r\:i :n aaa, avers mat oi. uaeuus u? win pi_-uetrate to the bono to drive out paiu. 1 know it, for I have tried it; it hits the mark every time. Hop-growing is an important industry in Washington Territory, where the average yield per acre is claimed to be 1,800 pounds by one correspondent. Gooil Npwii Frifin Texns. Mr. Thomas A. Howard, of Honey Grove, Fanuin county, Texas, under date ot' Aprils, 188:1, writ s as follows: I have been suffering during several yeara from severe illness, and a general breaking down of my physical system, and have tried ! the treatment and prescriptions of many doctors far and near, and traveled to the Hot Springs and otlvr mineral springs famous for their remedial qualities, drinking the waters and bathing systematically in their i? i-? j?iu . u..*. ^n 4.^ ;i r iieaiiii? ut'pui^, uuu an vu nu avau, ao *. I steadily failed m health; and although inl formed by my physicians that my ailments ami weaknesses were the result "of kidney disease of a danger <us character, they could give nie nothing to cure me. During the past two years my sull'eritigs at times were dreadful, and 1 had the most indescribable pains in the regions about the kidneys, the paroxysms of which were so severe as to render it impossible for me to sleep. While in this deplorable and discouraged condition 1 was persuaded to try Hunt's Heme ly, and after using less than half a bottle my great sufferings and j aroxysms of pain were entirely relieved, and 1 could sleep better and longer than I had in two years before, and although I am now on my third bottle only my improvement is very remarkable, and I regret that I did not know of the wonderful I curative powers of Hunt's Remedy before, ! as it would have saved me years of suffering. | 1 heartily recommend it to all alllicted with any kidney disease or disease of the urinary i organs." "llit .My Cane Kxaclly." Please allow me to s|>eak in the highest terms of "Hunt's Remedy," for it hit my I case exactly.. I had kidney and urinary ; trouble iiretty bad. I was recommended Hunt's Heme 1}'. 1 took one teaspoontul as | directo 1. I felt a decided change at the first I dose. 1 took two bottles, and have felt like ! a new mau ever since. Please receive tho sincere thanks of myself for tho benefits ' which I sought vainly for arid found only in Hunt's Remedy. I will chetrtully give this same opinion of i Hunt's Remedy toanv one who wishes it, by | addressing KUliERT 1). ARCHER, MI Linuard street, Philadelphia. March 14, 18S3. Ix IS'.0 the l'.n''lish-sneakinii l obulation of j I ho globe will be ' Solid Comfort. | Every ono likes to take solid comfort, anri ' it may bo enjoyed by every one who keepi Kidney-Wort in the house and takes a few i doses at tho first symptoms of an attack ol I Malaria, Rheumatism, Biliousness^ Jaundic< or any all'iction of tho Liver, lvidneys 01 Bowels. It is a purely vegetable compound of roots, leaves and fierries known to hav< I special value in kiduoy troubles. Added tc j tnese are remedies acting directly on the Liver and Bowels. It removes tho causa ol ' disease and fortifies the system against now attacks. j Thekk arc :;i.viis t.?ual;<'i-s in Indiana. ! When wo say Samaritan Nervine cures rheumatism, wo mean it.?Frisco Journal. Dr. B. F. Laughlm, Clide, Kan., writes: j "Samaritan Nerviiie cures fits. Ilrrlinc of .linn. Weakness, 1 yspejisia, Impotence, Sexual : Debility,cured by Well's Health Renewer. ?1. The of ilie Ten. Oh, the orator's voice is a mighty power, As it echoes along the green, But the fearless | on 1ms more sway o'er men. To sound tho praises of Carbolino. ! Pretty as a picture. Twenty-four beautifu j colors of the Diamond Dyes, tor suk, vvooi, Cotton, etc., 10c. each. A child can use with ; perfect success. < Jet at once at your drug* 1 gists. 'Wells, Richardson & Co. Burlington,Vt I Dr. Snnford's Liver Tnvlgorator-vegetable. | Try it^when gentle cathartic action L> needed. HYPOCHONDRIA. The Afyateriona Element In the MM tlx Arouse* Vague Apprehension*?What Act nnlly Cnuteii It. The narrative below by a prominent scientist touches a subject of universal importance. Few. people are free from the distressing evib which hypochondria brinzs, ITiey co me at all times and are fed by tht very flame which they themselves start Tlieyare a dread of coming derangement caused by present disorder and bring about more suicides than any other one thing. m' a ? aliAnM Ka pofttfnlii ineir ursu apjji uaun wvum guarded. Editors Herald: It is seldom I appear in print and I should not do so now did I not believe myself in possession of truths, the revelation of which will prove of inestimable value to many who may see these lines. Mine has been a trying experience. For many years I was conscious of a want of nerve tone. My mind seemed sluggish and I felt a certain falling off in my natural condition of intellectual acutene8S, activity and vigor. I presume this is the same way in whicti an innumerable number of oti'er people feel, who like myself are physically below par, but like thousands of otners I paid no attention to these annoying troubles, attributing them to overwork, and resorting to a glass of b?er or a milk punch, whicn would for the time invigorate and relieve my weariness. After awhile the stimulants commenced to disagree with my stomach, my weariness increased, and I was compelled to resort to other means to find relief. If a physician is suffering he invariably calls another physician to prescribe for him, as he cannot see himself as he sees others: so I called a physician and he advised me to try a little chemical food, or a bottle of hypophosphates. I took two or three bottles of the chemical food with no apparent benefit. My lassitude and indisposition seemed to increase, my food distressed me. I suffered from neuralgic pains in different parts of my body, my muscles became sore, my bowels were constipated, and my prospects for recovery were not very flattering. I stated my case to another physician, and he advifed me to take five to ten drops of Magende's solution of morphine, two or three times a day, for the weakness and distress in my stomach, and a blue pill every other night to relieve the constipation. The morphine produced such a deathly nausea that 1 could not take it, and tbe blue pill failed to relieve my constipation. In this condition I passed nearly a year, wholly unfit for business, while the effort to think was irksome and painful. My blood became impoverished, and I suffered from incapacity with an appalling sense of misery and general apprehension of coming eviL I pa-ssed sleepless nights and was troubled with irregular action of the heart, a constantly feverish condition and the most excruciating tortures in my stomach, living for days on rice water and gruel, and, indeed, the digestive functions seeniei to l>e entirely destroyed. It was natural that while in this condition I should become hypochondrical and fearful suggestions of self-destruction occasionally presented themselves. I experienced an insatiable desire for sleep, but on retirine would lie awake for a long time tormented with troubled reflections, and when at last I did fall into an uneasy slumber of short duration, it was disturbed by horrid dreama In this condition I determined to take a trip to Europe, but in spite of all the attent ona of physicians and change of scone and climate, 1 did not improve and so returned home with no earthly hope of ever again being able to leave the house. Among the numerous friends that called on me was one who had been afflicted somewhat similarly to myself, but who had been restored to perfect health. Upon bis earnest recommendation I began the same treatment he had employed, but with little hope of being benefited. At first I experienced little, if any, relief, except that it aid not distress my stomach as other remedies or even food had done. I continued its use, however, and after the third bottle could see a marked change for the better, and now after the fifteenth bottle I am happy to state that I am again able to attend to my profesfessional duties. I sleep well, nothing distresses me that I eat, I go from day to day without a feeling of weariness or pain, indeed, I am a well man, and wholly through the influence of H. H. Warner & Co.'s Tippe canoe. I consider this remedy as taking the highest possib'e rank in the treatment of all diseases marked by debility, loss of appetite, and all other symptoms of stomach and digestive disorders. It is overwhelmingly superior to the tones, bitters, and dyspepsia cures of the day, and is certain to be so acknowledged by the public universally. Thousands of people to-day are going to premature graves with these serious diseases, that I have above described, and to all such I would say: "Do not let your good judgment be governed by your prejudices, but give the above named remedy a fair and Eatient trial, and I believe you will not .only e rewarded by a perfect restoration to health, but you will also be convinced that the medical profession do s not poesess all the knowledge there is embraced in medical science." A. G. Richards, M. D., 468 Tremont street, Boston, Mass. There are eleven ex-governors in the United State; Senate. A Dead Shot may be taken at liver and bilious disorders with Dr. R. V. Pieroe's "Pleasant Purgative Pellets.'' Mild yet certain in operation; and there is none of the reaction consequent upon takirg severe and drastic cathartics. By druggists. There are 2,1)21 telegraph poles and 917 miles of wire in Washington. Dr.Graves' Heart Regulator cures all forms of Heart Disease, nervousness, sleeplejsness. A Chinese joint house, or sacred temple, is to be erected in Denver, Col. "Woman and her Disease*" is the title of an interesting treatise (96 pages) gent, postpaid, for three stamps. Aadress, World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. L A train of 140 teams recently arrived in Palouse valley, Wyoming, from Texas. Young men, or middle aged ones, suffering from nervous debility and kindred weaknesses should seud three stamps for Fart VII of World's Dispensary Dime Series of books. Address World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. Ohio lias fifteen and three-tenth per cent of the railway mileage of the country. You have tried everything for your Heart Disease? No, sir. Allow me to show you Dr. Graves' Heart Regulator, been in market thirty years, great many good testimonials irom lis use. umy 91 per DOiue at aruggiaie. The Crow Indians are estimated to be worth $2,500 each in land. _ That Terrible Tragedy! osi or thz chxzt caubm or sudddt xxajuan nxurnuTxs. As details ot the Rathbone wife murder are received they add to its horror. Colonel Rathbone, ttie murderer, was with President Lincoln when Booth shot him, and was himself stabbed by the assassin. The event was followed by nervous prostration, which caused, says Senator Harris, of Albnnv, painful dyspepsia, which growing constantly worse in the last ten years finally produced "blues" and periodical brain disorders. Dyspepsia made this man a monster I Experts tell us that tha brain is the soundest or all organs, and they credit the alarming increaso of insanity to derangements of the stomach. WLat the stomach Is the.blood will be, and bad blood has an especially evil effect upon the brain. Dyspepsia is a dangerous disorder, and yet it is far too often neglected when it might be checked or cured. H. S. Benedict, for thirtv-flve years express agent up in Troy, has often related how for a long time his life was an unbearable burden. He says he would ratber die than go through his old dyspeptic experiences. And John Kiting, the widely-known Odd Fellow of Hudson, informs us that what began in sour stomach, heartburn, lumpy sensations, and occasional constipation, resulted in confirmed dyspepsia, intense heat and distress in the stomach, belcbing of wind, hard and bloated bowels, loss of appetite, constant conI stipation, sick lieadacho?and a despondent, irritable condition of mind. These gentlemen can realize, as can thous anas 01 (linen, tv wuau viuiouvo muuiinu dyspepsia may drive a man! Happily for them they escaped mental frenzy by the timely use of Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy, of Rondout, N. Y.; a pure vegetable, non-alcoholic preparation which In the past twenty years has cured in 90 per cent, of cases. It has a very large sale and is regarded by physicians as most valuable for stomach, "malarial, liver, kidney, urinary, female, and blood disorders. If we would escape the full penalties of dyspepsia, we mast arrest it before it becomes chronic and sets the blood and brain on lira. ?Kingston (N. Y.) Freeman. Walnnt Leaf Ilalr Restorer. It is entirely different from all others. It is as cleat- as water, and as its name indicates is a jwrfect Vegetable Hair Restorer. It will immediately free the head from all dandruff, restore gray hair to its natural color, and produce a new growth where it has fallen off. It I :?? ? ?" offartf fha VIAAI+.IV uurs iiul m oil) uiounci outv. j which sulphur, >ugar of lead and nitrate ol sil ver prepa rat ioiLs have done. It will chang? light or faded hair iu a few days to a beautiful glossy brown. Ask your druggist for it Each bottle is warranted. Smith, Klini & CO., Wholesale Agonts, Philadelphia. Pa., and C. N. Crittenton, New York. I cheerfully add my testimony to the value of Ely's Cream Balm as a specific in the case of one in our family, who has been seriously debilitated with Catarrh for the past eight years, having tried ineffectually other medicines and several specialty doctors in Boston. She improved at once under this discovery, and has gained ber health and hairing,which has been considered incurable.--Robert W. Merrill, Secretary of the Phoenix Manufact .ring Co., Grand Haven, Mich. ircnest and best cod-liver oil. from selected livers, on the seashore, by Caswell, Hazard A Co., N. Y. Absolutely pure and aweet. Patient* who have once taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians declare it superior to all other oils. Chapped hands, face, pimples and rough skin cured by using Juniper Tar Soap, made dj Caswell, Hazard it Co., New York. " Rough on Coughs." Ask for ''Rough on Coughs," for Coughs, Colds,.Sore Throat, Hoarseness. Troches 15c Piso's Cure for Consumption does not dry up a cough; it removes the cause. AFTER DIPHTHERIA Thp terrible prostration which follows Diphtheria, ?nd tho persistency with which it clings to the patient ire marked features. Tno power of Hood's SarsapaR1LI.A to drife o'it the puis in left in the system, and relieve) tho consequent distress, wii never morn signally I ihown than in the following remarkable statement: j Lowf.ll, Mass., Feb. 9, 1888. Messrs. C. I. Hoon A Co.?Gentleman: My littla girl, Hattie Bums, had the Diphtheria and cot well ol It. After that she was powerful sick in her Bowels and had toarinl hurting* in the Mnall ot her back. She wat in grant pain ami distress. We called the doctor, who i fave her pi wders. Upon my word, the child grew worse, frr.t a neigltb >r's bnv torn hottl" of Hood 8 harsapa rim. a, and that night I give tho little girl the first dose and again in th? morning. Bofore tho day was out she was pliying around tlio honse. Her pains were gone. From that day til) now she hrs been well, and Is wholly recovered. Her llei.li has crme bark, she is fat as ever, and as mirthful nnd li.ely as before she was siok?full o) j spirits, to the delight of us all. Mrs. Jamkh Burns, 46 Market street. Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold by druggist*). 81. six for $5. Prepared by <J. J j HOOD it CO., Apothecaries, Lawali. Ml as. m A Bmeiy ftr Lees !>! *? Or. Bobert Newton, late president of tkt Eclectic college, of the city of New York, and formerly of Cincinnati, Ohio, used Dr. Wa. Hall's Balsam very extensively in hia practice, aa many of his patients, now living and r?* , stored to health by the use of this invaluable madicinft. can amnlv testify. He always said that so good a remedy ought to be prescribed freely by every physician as a sovereign . - * remedy in all cases of lung diseases. Iteora . i consumption, and has no equal for all peo* toral complaints. Prominent Batter Ahken. There is no dissent from the decision candid and capable dairymen, that the in* proved Butter Color of Wells, Richardson A Co., Burlington, Vt., is the best in the world. Such men as A. W. Cbeever, of Maasasbot . setts, E. D. Mason, Vermont, Francis A, Hoffman, Wisconsin, use It, and recomnwnd it as superior to all others. i Mother Swan's Worm 8yr*p. Infalliole, tasteless, harmless,oathartic: tor feverishnesa, restlessness, worms, coxuopa* tion. 25c. THE GREAT6ERMAK Uw II REMEDY gFOR PAIN. Relieves and oom RHEUMATISM* Sciatica, Lumbago, backacbk, HEADACHE, TOOTHACHE QUINSY, BffEiT.m? Soreness, Cuts, Bralltf, FR06TBITXB, bubns, caim, * And *11 other bodllyolW FIFTY CENTS A WTTlfc Sold by ?U DronliUaM Dealers. Directions In It The Charles A. VogUtr C*. (8 in u A. TOOHJt* k 004 BtlUaor*, Uim At ' NYSD-B' j Imperiaw, as4 o< R^TD i?h?"/ Enters I2P Catarrh an ckabbuj HB'^^I^BwbMiappllad kgrtiMte BiKlCkY 31 .^ (tr into Um noatxfla VbnriM RMNV^Bwili b>itmbri, ttw> MhTJxUR^CcO\5lnmU,?l?Mta?th.h?d R Q?n&jsy*lS lir I0' c^turtul Tin*, mw B^yC'O//T\L jt "EAMfaur healthy wwttfw, PwFEVERftHUimBrtfcr. Kf / ?ddtttanl eoU< jV / completely bmk' tka ^BWiorai *pd rotorw tn>? y^Bind (melL A Urn ap. ^plication* IllMT*. a (J.5JH. 1 Aorovgh truUmml ?CS ?, j'r"J""'l' w?.n Ifnti HAY-FEVtW ilrrulir. PRICE 50 CENTS. BT MAIL OR AT DRUOOBn. ELY BROTHElta, OWEGO, W. Y. a&s&'ssT w -^fcVER F/UL^>^ Spatnu, CmmilSlODBj Falling ^viK?i,^8s LTTHEfiREITtiS^^ " Scrofula. Brngt I E Q V E I JM,V&jVkxA I H EH I fc I Diseases, Dysj*?- y r, 1 1 1 11 i f Neryoumaw, HB:.^ Nervous Woaknm, Brain Worry, JTZood <8on?, BOtonaaesa, Coettoenm, Nervous Prostration, JftbMy TmMatttidlmgvJaritia. IL50. ^ , Sample Testimonial*. ? Daxnanuiu nervine is uoidk wobuw* . Dr. J. 0. McLcmoin, Alexander City, Ala. "I feel It my duty to recommend It" Dr. D. F. Langhlln, Clyde, Kwi "Bcaiadwhere physicians failed." _ Rev. J. A. Edie, Bearer, Pfc 4V OHTMpoadence freely amrewt'W 11m Dr. 8.A. Richmond Med. Co., St Joseph* Ma. Tot teeUmonlals and circulars send stamp, < At Bwjglsti. C. JT. Crtttenton, Agent, It % GU ADD Crick,8jmias,WkSMlM%tt? Kssssreutra PAINS ??,*??? W?5S Pain to the Cheat, and ail palna and aches ettheelooaler Aeep-aeeted are instantly rtlleved and, speedily eeredly the welMmowa Sop Filter. Compounded, e* JlfcteC the medicinal virtaeeof treah Hope, Qvaa, AataamaMd Kxtraota, It is Indeed On bat pain-kflttafc ?*?*** ?? aoothlnc and straofthenlnc Porous Fleeter ever seaAe. flop ftaato-a arc sold by all dri'ttlstsniilim^j Iims*. M easts orftra for tie*. ailed oa receipt of H\J f* * PLAfiTPD frctw*?,Boatnn,Waae. | * 1?#%W 1 K*Bm "^^oaJedtMgueTba^ralSrawrtorQac^ndSvS uaeeaaeme^^aw|grsgto?mh?dmttrraejnjg| 11C relleTM at odm Bnnw, Fflea, Chapped HouotutM Icorns, Bunlons.Scalda.Brulsos.Sorentaaof feet,hanaaj If j cj, etc.; Itching fromany eauie. ?*?- Ask y cnrr dro?-| ( Lan &*t, or send to 93 Fulton Street, K. ?<Baal FRAZER ^ AXLE GREASE Best In the world. Get the KrWl package hit* our trade-mark nn4 Ja mrtui ftMgfc BOM> HVEHYWUSUS. gmSmSBSO-OOD NEWS mmSBto ladies! Greatest indccemerta erar ot fered. Now's yourtimi to *yt uj Tntg ..I orders for our celebrated T<u i . sod Collcca,and secure abaaoti. &?3/"W&fK2l ful Gold Band or Moea Boa* China Tea Set. or Handsom?l>eeoea?a4 Gold Band Mots Rose Dinner Set. or Gold Band Mm tacorated Toilet Set. For full particolan addteas THK GREAT A3LEH1CAN TEA COm r. O. Box 283. 31 and 33 Veeey St., Maw York. TO SPECULATORS. It. LINDBLOM & CO., N.G. MILLER *C0. IA 7 Chamber of 66 Broadway. Oonuneroe. ChicAfo. New Yorx. GRAIN ft PROVISION BROKERS Mem ban of all prominent Produce Exchange# In Maw fork. Chicago, St. Louis and Milwaoltee. We bare exclusive private tclegrapQ wire between (Xnia<o and Sew York. Will execute order* on oar judf. ant wbea requested. Send for circular! oontalnln* particulars. BOBT. LINDBLOM A CO.. ChicagoM)m a nr.ronw* IftM IIA Af*CBITC SAVE AGENTS' 1111 AUCniOMOFtTSI New Sewing Machines for $20 Guaranteed positively new and thorouhly flnt-elaM in every particular. Warranted for tire year*. Oh be returned at our expense if rnt aa represented. Freights paid by me to mil point*. A. C.JOHNSON, 37 North Pearl St, Albaay.N. V |k yip INFORMATION IN REGARD TO FREE EXCURSION Rates to Texas, Arkansas and California. Pamphlet*, eta,, describing land* for sale can be had by addreasinjf J.J. FOWLER, East. Pass. Af't, Utioa, N. Y.; J. D. MoBEATH, N. E. Pa**. Ag't, Boston; D. W. JA-NOW1TZ, S. iJ. Pass. Ag't, Baltimore. Md. H. B. McCLELLAN. Gen. East,Paas.Ag'tMo.Pac.K.R ,843B'dw?y,W.T. OYKk'8 BKAKD ?LIXlE^-"\ HHi n Ftf*M Imnul Mumk WW|M?(?1 W AAm vtrt. WUI pr?r? U mt fcrCkiJKM rrx? MTPMkaM v>ik <.rw?.t?s mU w4 H?HmBmm ?* M.. L. 4. L. SB ITU k CO., ifraU. faUUae, I1L>^ 30 DAYS' TRIAL ! I^IlIYEs!X| I (betokjl) nmy ELECTRO-VOLTAIC BELT and other EUOTXZO Appliances are lent on :fu Days' Trial TO MEN ONLY, YOUNG OR OLD, who are suffering from Nsbvocb Debility. IvOst Vitality, Wirrrsa I Weakness?.*, and all kindred disease*. Speedy re. lief and complete restoration to Health, Vigor and ; Manhood Guaranteed. Send at once for Illustrated Pamphlet free. Address Yoltaio Belt Co,, Marshall, Mich.' CONSUMPTION. I I&ato poult I ve rrroedy for the Above dlietM; bylta um thousands of cnsos of the wont kind ud of loaf tAndlnjt bare been cured. Indeed.aoitronr la my faltS In 1U efficacy, that I will iicnd TWO BOTTLES PRES. together wltb a VALUABLE TREATISE on this dlaoAM, M nj JMCrtr. 01 v? Expri-** and P. O. address. DR. T. A. bLOCl'M, 181 rear! 8t., N?w York, i J,KAVi, PATCNTQ""'^ i csmrfl I til I o,mi lJetrribt tjour inr'tiiinn. Send U stamps lor 4U/>. Bookoo I I'rii'nt*. L. BISHHA M, I'ai. Liiici/ht, l>'u.?Aim/loii, DC. A M PAYS for a I.ife Scholarship in tin V Jm Ku Coleman Hunlneen College, I I Newark, New Jersey. Poajtlona fat ill gTAduAtes. National patrona?. VTrtU W m ^ lor CircaiAn to H. OOLKMAH A OO. PBOCNix Pectobal win cure your couun. Price J6c, | A srntM Wanted for the Best And Fwteet-selUnf jfx Pictorial hook* and Bibles. Prices reduced 33 per cent. National Puiilikhinij Co., Philadelphia. Pa. Camphor Milk is tn.- beat I,imm>-nt. Pru-e25oenu. agents wanted ^?=aed^ethref8s^ salable article ever offered to the trad# or public. ALT A CO., Boston, .Ilium. SHORT HAND l.\S I II UTE. Ithaca, N. Y. Situati. nsprocured. Stenographers supplied,without choree. St^n'larilTjpe-WritersandsuppliaB. So " Cal g .Ipl.a." Address. w. Q. WYCKOTT. ETXtTKSION PAKTIEtftoEl'KOPE. ComPi lorl anil Economy. Circulars ?ent free. American Bl'iiEAf of Foreign Travel, Albany, n. y. 4 VnilUfi IIEli I-cani telouraphy hero and we will I uunu men give you a situation. Circular* fr?e. VAL EXT INK BHOHh JnneHvllle, Win. farm 8ssaaisi?a:?0 acres MIHllHENRY HAY, Weehawto-n P. O.. N. J. r-^fplSO^SREMEDY FOR CATARRH Ji\ nili ii 1 liiti'W^ MiWWWiMlj Eftsv louse. A certain cure. Not expensive. TtalM monihs' treatment 111 one package. Good for Gold In the Hi nd, lleailnche, Dizziness, llay Fever, Ac. Fiflv cent*. By all Druggista. or by mail. iL T. HAZkl^IXS, Warna) Fa.