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rTHE MORTGAGE. ^Ve worked through spring and winter, through summer and through fall, But tins mortgage worked the hardest and theetendiestof all: It worked on nights and SundayB; worked each holiday; It settled down among ub, and it never went awaj Whatever we kept from it seemed a'most as bad as theft; It watched us every minute, and it ruled us right and lert. . The rust and blight were with us sometimes, f>.-/" and sometimes not; The dark-browed scowling mortgage was forever on the spot. The weevil and the cut-worm, thsy went as well as came: xne mortgage stayed rorover, eating nearty all the same. ? . It nailed up every window, stood guard at very door, And happiness and sunshine made their homo with us no more, Till with failing crops and sickness we got stalled upon the grade. And there came a dark day on us when the interest wasn't paid ; And there cornea sharp foreclosure and I kind o' k st my hold, ~ Aod grew wear/ aud discouraged, and the ' farm was cheaply sold. The children left and scattered, when they hardly yet were grown; . My wife she pined an' perished, an' I found myself alone. "What she died of was " a mystery," an' the BK ' * doctors never knew: & Bat I knew she died of mortgage?just as well as I wanted to. If to trace a hidden sorrow were within the ir doctor's art, They'd ha' found a mortgage lying on that woman's Uroken heart. Worm or beetle, drought or tempest, on a R*;., farmer's land may fall, j But for first-cla>s ruination, trust a mortK gnge 'gainst thera all. ? Will .V. Carlton. Ifr ===== A PAINTER. " Oh, dear ! it is too pleasant to stay in the house to-day !" said Kitty Ford. "AuntJean, couldn't I go berrying j up in the pa>ture lot?" "Nonsense!" said Aunt Jean. "With the back bedroom to be whiteI washed, and the churning to be done, and the quilt to be got r?ady for the frames ? I'm surprised at you, Catherine!" Kitty looked with longing eyes at the creeping tides of sunshine on the hill, the great shadows that the apple tree boughs made, swaying, on the . grass. There was a catbird singing in the maples. Kitty wished that?just for awhile?she could be that catbird, and * dwell in a glorified region of grem leaves, where churning, whitewash pails and quilting bees were unknown. K She knew that even the scarlet poppies were nodding along the stone walls like tiny soldiers, the wild roses opening in solitary nooks, the straw berries ripening in iragrant wooa openings on the hill. As these tempting thoughts passed across her mind sho heard Aunt If?'": Jean's shrill voice at the back door alking to some one. "A painter, eh?" said she. "Oh, jes, you're welcome to a drink of water. You can draw it, fresh and By - ? cool, for yourself. The well's out under the big butternut tree. A painter, did you say ? P'raps you can J: whitewash, too?'' "Certainly, ma'am!" said a deep, pleasant voice. Kitty leaned forward to get a peep at the possessor of that clear, soft tenor. He was a young man, with a sort of . pack strapped on his back, and something that resembled a magnified umVm?oUo in hie lianrl I.ix< IUIJ " Oh," said Kitty to herself, " a peddler! Aunt Jean is getting harder and harder of hearing every day!" "Well," said Aunt Jean, *'I do h- . b'lieve Providence has sent you! I'd engaged Perkins Polk to whitewash the back bedroom to-day, but he hasn't come near me. And here it is 9 o'clock! I don't b'lieve he means to come to-day. Perkins has took to drink dreadful of late?poor creeter! P'raps, .sir, you could whitewash the 1 back bedroom? I'd be willin'to give ; you your dinner and a quarter of a g*s dollar fur the job! And I can't say more liberal than that ?" * 1 Aunt Jean was awaiting the de- J cision of the young man, with one and back of her ear, when Kitty walked in, her bright eyes sparkling with mirth, her cheeks rosy, and her 1 I lips pursed up in tne desperate attempt not to s iile. J "You'll please excuse Aunt Jean, my good man." said she. "We don't | want anything to-day. There was a 1 peddler along on Saturday and we ' bought all that we required." The young man?Horton Leigh was ! the name stamped in gilt letters on the inside of his color-box?looked from ] grim Aunt Jean to pretty Kitty and 1 made up his mind at once. } "Pardon me," he said, "but I am i not a peddler. And if you will allow ] me I shall be very glad to undertake ; the job." i " The sooner the better," said Aunt * Jean, briskly. " I s'pose you ain't got 1 your overalls with you. * That don't make no difference. There's a pair up < stairs as belonged to Hiram Harkness, 1 who worked for us one spell, and a ( jumper jacket as Billy Barlow wore, whf> ran awav ;ind inirxvl the <rVrwip.i 1 six months ago Kitty, run upstairs 1 and fetch 'em. And the young man can go into the barn and put 'em on i Well, I do call this a streak o' luck!" And in less than five minutes the "young man" was mounted on a ; ladder brandishing a good-sized whitewash brush, Kitty Ford was churning, and Aunt Jean was tacking the quilt on the frames in the best room. " There's nothin' like gettin' a good, early start on Monday morning,"' said Aunt Jean. At 12 o'clock the back bedroom was whiter and sweeter than any lily, the - butter had "come," the quilt was satisfactorily arranged, and the whole family sat down to a savory meal of fried chicken, white bread, milk and I strawberry shortcake. " You seem to be a very respectable young man,1 said Aunt Jean, critically surveying the stranger. " If you'd like to stay here and do chores for your b oard you might sleep in the barnchamber, and I could recommend you to do whitewashing jobs for the neighbors. Deacon Dowd's house needs a new coat o' paint badly, and I'm 'most sure that "Widow" Elnathan ?r\ Trueby would like her barn painted to match the new house." " I am greatly obliged to you," said the young man, toying with a particularly large berry, " but I do not execute orders in that branch. I am an artist." "A?which?" said Aunt Jean. " An artist. Shall I show you some of my sketches ?" Aunt Jean put on her spectacles at once. "Well, I don't object to look at 'em," said she. " But I won't promise to buy. We got a very pretty chromo with the last pound o' tea we bought, and Kitty cuts pictures out of the illustrated papers and pastes 'em on to stone-jars!" Mr. Leigh laughed. 41 Oh, I don't expect to make a.sale!" said he. "All these are merely first ideas, jotted down in the crudest of * fashions. To speak truth, my real object in calling here this morning j was to ask permission to sketch those i - . picturesque ruins down by the old < road." 1 "Oh!" said Aunt Jean; "the old \ smithy. Dear, dear! there ain't j nothin' but a tumble-down stun-wall ) and a few mullein-stalks left there, i Ef you could wait till next spring, ] pi " Elihu Lewis means to put up a firstclass blacksmith's shop. But you're j welcome to do all the sketcnin' you want 1" 1 Kitty's eyes sparkled. j " I wish I was an artist," said she, j as she turned over the bits of mill- ( board, all of which were instinct with i life and beauty. 1 "Well," said Aunt Jean, compla- j p?~ cently, v why shouldn't you be? I dare ( say^this young man can show you how c Kitty looked at the young man, the f young man looked kt Kitty, and then t both burst into a hearty peal of laughter, to Aunt Jean's great mystification. " Ob, aunty," said Kitty, still choking behind "her pocket-handkerchief, "that isn't the way that artists are made!" Half an hour later Kitty Lord was out on the green feeding her little downy ducklings with scalded meal, when Judge Laughington's carriage drove up. Kitty let the tin pan fall in her dismay. To her, Miss Laughington, in her summer silks and diamonds, long white plumes and eight-button kid gloves, represented all that was elegant and adorable. How she regretted that she still wore her old blue gingham gown, and that her curls were all tangled by the sweet, soft wind " Don't run awav. Kittv. dear." said Miss Laughington, beckoning with her ivory-handled parasol. " You are the very girl that i want to see. My cousin, Mr. Leigh, is comingdown this way, to-day, to sketch. I have told him about those pretty, old ruins of the blacksmith's shop; so, if he comes past here?" "Oh, Miss Laughington," cried Kitty, turning as scarlet as the big bunch of peonies at the corner of the house, " he has come already! And Aunt Jean set him to whitewashing and paid him a quarter of a dollar and his dinner. Oh, how could we have made such a blunder?" Miss Laughington laughed. | " Blunder, child!" said she. "Where's 'the blunder? If Ilorton wants to do a thing, he'll do it. If not, the whole world couldn't compel him." And after the glistening carriage had rolled away Kitty Ford sat down and cried. J udge Laughington's daughter drove on to the ruined smithy, where Mr. Leigh was composedly "putting in" the lights and shadows of the old chimney and the mullein stalks. But she went back to the stately "Court" with a bent brow and an illpleased expression of face. to c?/% frif? Ll'Ji IUH kD OV uilliuy vvvvm^.w . said she. " There's no knowing what ridiculous whim lie will take up next." For Mr. Leigh had declined to accept the hospitalities of the Court. "You always have such loads of qompanv there, Antonia," said he, "and I prefer quiet. Xo?I'll come up to see you when the spirit moves me; but I'll pitch my tents in this secluded dale. It will be better for real, steady work." For Kitty Ford's deep, .liquid eyes st*il haunted his brain. * " The prettiest girl I ever saw !" he kept repeating to himself. " A pure spirit, dwelling in a lily-like temple! I must see more of her; I must sketch her as Una.'" So he went back that night, just as the dew was falling and the whip-poorwills beginning to sing, and asked Aunt Jean if he could occupy the little room over the kitchen where the brick chimney perked itself out, and the one little window looked directly into the boughs of the old pear tree. " Oil, I don't care," said good Aunt Jean. 41 It's Kitty that does the housework. She must decide." "We are plain people," said Kitty, involuntarily blushing; " but?" "Then I may coine," said Ilorton Leigh. People were very much surprised when Ilorton Leigh brought a blueeyed country maiden to preside over his city mansion the next fall. But Kitty Ford, secure in her innocent happiness, never knew how many tears Antonia Laughington had shed over her cousin's wedding card. And Auat Jean makes her boast that Kitty has "store-carpets" in every one of her rooms and a carriage of her own. "He's a painter," said Aunt Jean to her friends. "Not a house-painter, but a picture-painter. And lie knows how to whitewash a ceiling equal to Perkins Polk. I guess there ain't no fear but that he'll make his way in the world. Anyhow, Kitty likes him, and that's enough."?Helen Forrest Graces. t r n?K T tnfnM 2\. 11C11 JU11U^-A11U VtU KM JJCVVIUVI " I wish to displain," said Brother Gardner, as he adjusted his spectacles and brushed up his front hair, "I "wish to displain dat de Hon. Iligginbottom Lawless, of Kosciusko, Miss., am present in de aunty-room an' burnin' to deliver his celebrated address on ' Sentiment.' He arrove heah three or four days ago, an' has finished my las' bar'l of apples, worn my Sunday coat right along, an' will be a deadhead on tne till he kin spoke dis piece an' cotch a mixed freight train gwine to Toledo. De committee will escort turn, an' if dat water-pail am upsot or my lamps knocked down doonn' his ieiibery, de guilty wretch or wretches will receive a lesson dat will remain solid for a hundred y'ars." The Hon. Lawless appeared with a pair of red mittens in one hand and a lemon in the other, and such was his placidity of mind that when he bit into one of the mittens in place of the lemon he never even changed color, lie sized up five feet and six inches, intelligent expression, head cast in the shape of a pear, and feet large enough to trample an onion bed out of sight. He mounted the platform like a steer climbing a side hill, bowed right and left in response to the applause, and quietly began : " My fren's, I cannot dispress de pleasure and gratificashun which I feel I o fin' myself standin' heah under de sacred shingles of Paradise Hall?a structure whose name am a household word whareber de English language greets de ear. (Applause.) I would rather stan' heah than be buried under a $10,000 monument. (Cheers.) "])e subjick ob my address am Sentiment. What am sentiment? Whar' do we git it, an' what am it worf by de pound when de market am not oberstocked V I answer dat sentiment am a sort o' 'lasses an' mush surroundin' de heart. In some cases it hardens up an' turns to stun, while in odders it thins out until de heart fairly Hoots in a pond o' sweetness. (Applause.) Sentiment has considerable to do wid ebery ackshun in our eberyday life. It am bizness when you start out to borry a pan of flour or a basket ob 'taters. It am sentiment that causes a nayburto lend, instead of demandin'spot cash. (Wild applause from Judge Cadaver.) " liizness acktuates de lazy an' de shiftless to sot out an' beg cold vittles an' old clothes an' dimes an' quarters. Sentiment acktuates women to shed tears ober 'em an' stock 'em up wid 'nuff to loaf on for another month. "When we have a kickin' hoss our sentiment am 'pe:ded to. We argy that the safety of our loved ones requires us to trade dat animile off to some preacher who wants a perfeckly reliable hoss. Dat's one kind of sentiment. When we buy an excursion ticket to Xiacrara Falls, an' reach de grand cataract arter a thirty hours' sweat on de cattle cars, de immense waste of water 'peals to anodder sort of sentiment. "When we lav we reveal another phase of sentiment. Ifdegal am high-toned and rich de sentiment am all solid. If she am only aiverage an' in debt, de sentiment am purty thin, an' won't last longer dan de first bill fur meat comes in. (Cries of You bet!') "My fren's,sentiment writes poetry wid one hand an' tans de backs of de chile'n wid de odder. It guides our thoughts to friends ober de sea, an' sends old clothes to relashuns in Wisconsin. It makes us shed tears fur de dead, an' yit warns us to cut de unde rtaker's bill down twenty per cent. Sentiment tells us to luv our fellow-men, an' yit whispers to us to lock our doahs an' place torpedoes in our hen-roosts. (Groans.) 1 have been lookin' into de matter fur de las' forty-eight y'ars, an' [ has cum to de conclushun datit was i wise thing to purvide de human race wid sentiment. If it had bin left out ay any accident in de mixin' de bts' nan among us wouldn't have got a bid if put up at aucshun along wid a lot )? fence-posts. I could talk to you fur ;hree straight weeks on dis subjeck, )Ut obsarvin' dat my half hour am up, [ will chop off right h^ah, an' hope !at it may be my pleasure at some furher day to meet you agin. Any pusonwho wants his fortune told will ind me, in de aunty-room fur denex'j w) hours."?Detroit Free Press. FASHION NOTES. "White toilets are mere masses oi embroidery. Small buttons are used, but speckled in colors to match fabrics. Postilion backs are the most fre quent Gnish for pointed corsages. Navy blue remains the favorite coloi for yachting and mountain suits. The empire puff worn at the botton of the skirt h;is been revived iu Paris Late importation of Paris dresse have larger tournures and hip draper ies. Buckles, large and small, are tin popular miiiinery ornaments mis sea son. Box plaitings and flat pufts appeal around the bottom of many pointe( bodices. Long lace mitts are finished wit! soft, full feathered out ruchings, match ing the shades in the dress or its trim mings. Embroidered nun's veiling is tb craze for young ladies who want i dress that is "just too lovely for any thing." Very wide ribbons brocaded witl single huge roses are among the im portations. The question is what cai be done with them. Te.i-colored ginghams, checked in ; darker shade and bordered with tin same in a Greek pattern, are among the novelties in washing fabrics. Gathered black lace cloaks shirrec and trimmed with Barcelona lace anc wide satin bows are among the mosi distinguished summer wraps. onrncc fho bins TPlTlJlil X/ldpCllW VIIV a?2#w ? very large; back draperies do not de scend very low on the dress skirt especially when there are llounces all around the skirt. All the shades of gray are fashion ably worn, and some very pretty graj chamberys have been made up and trimmed with white Saxony lace anc clustering loops of gray and pink satin ribbon. The newest sateens are combinations of apricot, red raspberry, strawberry, or gray tints, plain tints with shaded roses, palm leaves or bulbous blossoms on tinted ground, matching the plain material. New pelisses are made of mixtures of silk and wool in Indian or Persian patterns, and in oriental blending oi colors. They are lined with apricot, strawberry or olive twilled silk, anc finished with bows of wide satin ribbon. The Petersham felt hat for young ladies and misses is as masculine a? any worn by youths in their teens. II is of London felt, with sloping crown and slightly rolled brim, and its severe trimming is a ribbed velvet band and steel buckle. Two kid bands, witl buckles and straps, also trim these English walking-hats, and the binding of the brim must be of the same kind Little girls' dresses of Turkey red 01 blue percale are made with low, square necks and short sleeves, to wear ovei white guimpes. Blue bows are on the red dresses and red bows are on the blue ones. There are twelve tucks down the front and back of the long waists, and embroidered ruffles cover the skirt. Their white pique dresses are trimmed with open guipure embroidery, and shrimi>-pink bows are worn with these. A Battle Between Elephants. In Xew York one morning the ele pliant Pilot, belonging to Barman's circus, became a trifle nervous while taking his usual "eye-opener,"consisting of twenty-seven gallons of water In the heat of the moment he raised )iis ricrht. hind 1p?? in haste, and witl: * *0 o an accuracy of aim that ought to win for him a Creedmoor medal, he closed the eye of a fellow-elephant who w;u standing a few yards distant. This unpleasant morning greeting roused the ire of the second elephant, whc retaliated with a blow from his trunk that nearly loosened Pilot's back teeth. Both elephants thee (loscd in on eich ofher and threatened to use each other completely up. Newman, their keeper, hpard the high words passing between the two pachyderms, and hastened tc the scene of battle. By the time he reached them several large beams supporting the roof had been converted into toothpicks, and the air was full ol water-pails, hay and elephants' legs. The two elephants and Mr. Xewman fought until the keeper was about to congratulate himself on coming out ahead, when he was suddenly lifted off his feet by Pilot's large trunk and carlessly deposited in one corner somewhat deranged as to his clothes and minus two teeth. In the meantime more beams were tumbled down, and the remaining elephants seemed anxious to participate if there was going to beany fun. Newman gathered together what was left of himself and attacked Pilot with more strength but with less teeth, until at length the enraged beast was driven to his stall and chained down fore and aft. During the rest of the day he rocked in his stall like a side-wheel steamboat, and made more noise than an orphan .asylum. Prior to his engaging in the steamboat act he knocked a chimney that stood harmlessly hack of him and scattered the bricks and mortar around in a familiar and unpleasant manner. The chimney is unlit for further use. Later in the afternoon an employe of the circus passed by the elephant, wearing a derby hat. This was too much for Pilot. lie raised his trunk and with a graceful sweep that the man will never forget, took the hat from his head, rolled it up in his trunk, making a crushed hat of it in a moment, and then, taking out of his mouth what remained of the derby, hurled it down on the lloor with a slam and a bang that raised another hump on the camel's back and disarrange! all the stripes on the zebra's back. Quiet was restored about nightfall, and Pilot having been still more securely anchored with chains, rings and shackles, went to sleep. On the following day an attempt was made to subjugate Pilot. Two other elephants, at the command of their keeper, pressed the mutineer so close on either side that he could not *n/iim Knnpq ivorp noyh uttnfliprl til his legs. Forty men tugged on each rope, in turn, until they had him stretched out, with lxis stomach almost touching the ground. lie was then thrashed for hours with hoop poles, but as his fury only increased, it was thought best to kill the huge beast. Two bullets were fired into his heart and a third into his brain. The carcass was then cut up and carted away for burial. Pilot was valued at $10,000. _ Business Failures for the Past Twenty six Years. The New York Mercantile Agency of li. G. Dun & Co., in their annual statement of business failures, give the following table, showing in a compact form the failures which took place in the United States for twenty ? i nm 100.1 K six years?iou/ iu 100-. xnuuuiu^, it should be borne in mind," say Messrs. Dun & Co., "that from 1862 to 1865, owing to the war, the iigurcs for the Southern States are incomplete, and that in the earlier periods this compilation is not as accurate as it has been made within the last ten or twelve years. The table, however, is sufficiently correct to convey a very fair idea of the relative losses by bad debts in the various years: Year. Failures. Anient of Liabilities. 1857 4,!M2 $231,7^0,000 lf5S 4,2*2-) 'J/J,740,000 lKr>9 3,913 64,394,000 1860 3,075 79,807,000 1861 6,993 207,210,000 18l2 1,652 019,000 1803 4 5 7,899,9C0 ' 1864 520 8,579,000 1J05 50 17,025,000 1806 1,5'J5 53,783,000 18>'7 2,7?0 90,GOG,000 lr6 i 2,008 63,694,000 1869 2,799 75,054,054 1870 3.546 88,242,000 1B71 2,915 85,252,000 1>72 4,009 121,050,000 1873 5,183 228,499,900 1874 5,830 155,239,003 1875 7,740 201,000,000 1870 9,092 * 191,117,000 1877 8,872 190,609,930 1878 10,478 234,3^3,132 1379 G.G58 98,146,053 1850 4,735 65,752,000 1381 5,5?2 81,155,932 1882 6,718 101,547,564 ' Mr. and Mrs. Spoopendyke. . "Now, my dear," said Mrs. Spoopen' dyke, gathering up her skirt3 and making for the door; " now, my dear, I we are all ready, arent we ? You take those pots of plants and I'll carry the - cut flowers." " Ilow'm I going to take thirteen : pots of plants in two hands?" growled Mr. Spoopendyke, surveying his job, l with dissatisfaction in his eye. " "What , is there about me that seems to give you the impression that I am a freight train? What d'ye call these things, anyway ? What's the ghost standing up here with a candle in his hand. 5 How'm I going to carry these things ? * That's what I want to know I" "That's acallalily, dear," replied r Mrs. Spoopendyke, laying down her 1 ilowers and turning to help her husband. " Now, you can take these pots i in your arms by letting the edge of one . pot rest on the edge of another. Let . me show you," and Mrs. Spoopendyke arranged the pots, neatly folded in e clean white paper, in her husband's ^ anns. " That's the way to carry them," she chirped, opening the door for him. "Now you are all right!" " Expect me to put on my hat with 1 my leg, don't you?" inquired Mr. Spoopendyke, trying to reach around 1 so that he might see out from his burden. "P'raps you think I don't need 1 any decoration while I'm carrying 3 these (lodgasted shrubs! Maybe you * think I'd present a more tropical appearance without any hat!" 1 " I'll put on your hat, dear," flut1 tered Mrs. Spoopendyke, and she caret fully put it on hind side before and flattened it down until the "back i breadth," as she called it, rested on his - shoulders. "Now you're all right, , dear, be careful of the flowers!" [ Mr. Spoopendyke followed his wife to the street and gave the burden a snrh nf hit.p.h tn rnlipvp himsnlf. "Ilere! Look here!" he cried to his I wife, "you didn't load me straight! [ These things are slipping! Fix 'em, k can't ye ?" "We haven't far to go," pleaded Mrs. , Spoopendyke, who couldn't see that anything was wrong. " Can't you i hold them, dear, till we get to ; church?" [ "Oh, I can't hold 'em!" squealed Mr. Spoopendyke. " Get out of my eye! Can't ye take this yall'er lily out * of my eye? Look out for my hat! \ Don't you see it's slipping off? If you : don't make some better arrangement 1 about these things the neighbors will I be startled presently by the sound of cracking crockery!" "I hope you won't break any of ; them," sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke. i Then she pulled his hat over his eyes 5 and took him by the elbow to lead him i along. > " Look out!" yelled Mr. Spoopenl dyke, as he felt a pot going. "Here's i a decoration in danger! Catch it, ! quick!" ; But Mrs. Spoopendyke was too late. The pot dropped with a crash on Mr. Spoopendyke's instep and rolled into s the gutter. " Oh, dear!" moaned Mrs. Spoopen } ujne. s " There you are!" roared Mr. Spoop5 endyke, hopping with pain and drop; ping another pot. "Satisfied now? Know any one you want to back nie i against for a garden of Eden ? Got . any more horticultural societies you i want knocked out? Here goes another!" and the third of the series smashed on the sidewalk. "' A charge I have to keep,'': and down came the largest pot of the Jot with a prodig* ious noise. i " Don't!" squealed Mrs. Spoopendyke, i watching the fate of her decorations with dismay. " I ain't!" yelled Mr. Spoopendyke, I letting go two more in the effort to i keep his hat on. " Who is? Get hold i of that off representative of the day I we celebrate," and Mr. Spoopendyke s clutched wildly at a sliding pot, not > that he cared for the flower particul "larly, but he had felt four drop on his > foot and he felt some fears. "Dods gast the pot," he squawked, as it i eluded him and landed on his best l corn. 1 " I think you're real mean!" sobbed Mro. Spoopendyke, surveying the * iiU *.4 AI.AJ i WreCK Willi but earning ojca. i "You do, do you?" howled Mr. ? Spoopendyke, who* felt as badly as his wife did now that it was all over. " P'raps you had some kind of a notion i that those pots would fall when I let go ! of 'em! Why didn't you put 'em in a bag so a man could carry 'em without spilling 'em ? What do you want of 1 decorations, anyway?" "Because I wanted to help make the church look pretty," and with . this explanation Mrs. Spoopendyke broke down completely and wept bitterly. "Well, haven't you decorated as much as any woman? What'd you exDect? Think people are going to take you for a cathedral just because you take a few shrubs to church once a year? Now you go in the house and don't let me hear any more whimpering. With your notions about duty and your desire to get the best of the 11 ? ?4-Vwi TTAII /"inltr Oiner wumeu m tuc uiuivu, ;uw v^v want a bell in your mouth and a black collar be a whole guild!" And with this benediction Mr. Spoopendyke started off to see Specklewottle and make some arrangement with him for going fishing as soon as the trout ponds should show signs of breaking up.?Brooklyn Eagle. Public Documents. A C'ogressman's share of public documents is by no means an insignificant perquisite. lie gets, roughly speaking, one four-hundredth part of the publications, the cost of which is $2,000,000, or $5,000 worth, an amount equal in value to his salary. The collection would not sell for that sum, of course, and yet the cash value of a complete set of public documents for a year would be considerable. While much rublish is printed, some ot' the books are valuable, and much desired by certain classes of constituents. The greatest demand is for agricultural reports. An edition of 300,000 copies is ordered of this volume, but even this enormous number is insufficient to supply all, and in consequence, members from rural districts often exchange or buy large quantities from city members or the book stores. Many members sell their share of the documents, amounting to several wagon loads, to the book-dealers in Washington, who of course pay a very small percentage of the cost of them. , One public library in each Congress- j ional district i'b entitled to one set of | the annual publications. m, ( A Poor Curo for Insomnia. i A California man troubled with in- ' soninia was told that he would be 1 uureu uy guiug lu ueu, uiusiwg ma ejea and picturing in the mind a ilock of 1 sheep jumping a fence one at a time. 1 The experiment nearly made him in- ' sane. "I jumped about 2,000 over < the fence," he says, "and there were about 1,000,000 left. Sleep! I'd j given $1,000 not to see those sheep t jump that fence. I could have gone ( to sleep right away but for the 2,000,000 stupid, white-faced sheep standing i waiting like a lot of fools for me to j jump'em over the fence. Jump 'em, did I say ? I had to boost 'em, hoist i every one of those 6,000,000 sheep i over that pasture fence, and when I i turned and looked back there were 13,000,000 sheep, stupid, blank-faced, i white, wooly imps waiting there, each f saying, ' Me, too, my turn next.' AJVOWJU> Uivwv. r - - 4 bailing the Emperor's Flag. The interesting ceremony of nailing i the flag newly conferred by the Ger' < man emperor upon the Marine bat- ] talion at Kiel took place at the royal palace. This Hag is the first of its < kind bearing the initials "\Yr. I." , (Wilhelm lmperator) and the im- , perial escutcheon, ;is distinguished from the Prussian flags. The emparor, with a firm hand, drove in the c lirst of 101 golden nails fastening the n cloth to the flagstaff. lie was fol- c lowed by the empress, the Grand Duke and Duchess of Baden,' the crown 0 Prince, the Duke of Connaught (who -j wore the uniform of the Ziethen Hus- $ sars) and, according to old Pranden- ^ burg custom, by all the royal princes here present, as well as Count Moltke, ? the ministers of war and the navy and t, the other generals and admirals. v '' "* ' " NEWS OF THE WEEK. ! Eastern and Middle States. William Saueb, ex-president of the New fork board of aldermen, was thrown from i wagon while riding in the opper part of the 3ity and killed. Majob Ellis P. Pnnrs, ex-superintendent of the Philadelphia almshouse, a defaulter for a large Bum and a fugitive from justice,' was brought back to the Quaker City from Hamilton, Ontario, by officers of the law. Genebal Diaz, ex-president of Mexico, was given a farewell dinner in New York. Among the speakers of the evening being General Grant, Senator Morgan, of Alabama, Mr. Loring, United States commissioner of agriculture, and others. At a dinner given by the Jeffersonian club, of Newark, N. J., to commemorate Thomas Jefferson's birthday, addresses wero delivered by Hon. Samuel J. Randall, ex-Benator W. W. Eaton, of Connecticut, ex-Governor Cur"Dflnnotflvnnio T-Tnn S. ft. f!nt nr?H other prominent Democrats. Sixty-nine evicted Irish farmers arrive J in Philadelphia on an ocean steamship. Many evioted Irish families also arrived in Boston. A Bboadway (New York city) fire destroyed the building occupied by the Bradstreet Commercial agency and othor firms, doing damage to the extent of nearly $200,000. Pbincesi Louise was met at Boston by her husband, Lord Lorne, governer-general of Canada, on her rotarn from Bermuda. Oiaky Buboess, of Foster, R. I., while making a social call upon Daniel and Henry Burlingame, at Killingly, Conn., suddenly drew a rovolver and shot Daniel, slightly injuring him. In a struggle for possession of the pistol Henry was dangerously wounded, a ball entering his nostril. Burgess returned to Rhode Island, whore ho was arrested, but died in jail from poison self-administered. A sweeping raid has I eon made by the New York police upon the gambling houses. Seven dons were entered simultaneously, and gambling apparatus sufficient to fill three largo wagons was Boizod. James Marshall it Co., iron pipe makers of Pittsburg, Peun., one of the largest firms in the business, have failed, with liabilities amounting to ^fiOO.OOO, and assets placed nt *1,2.0X00. Thursday, October 18, has been fixed upon as the date for ceJobrating the centennial of {he disbandment of tho Revolutionary army at Ncwburg, N. Y. Sixtt-one Mormon elders from Utah arrived in New York a few days ago, on their way to Europe, whore they will gather in all the converts they can lay hands upon and bring them to tho United Stater. A bill forbidding further labor contracts in prisons passed the New York assembly. A coal ir.ine at Ashland, Penn., suddenly caved in, swallowing up several dwelling houses, whose inmates barely escaped with the. r lives. The first conviction under the new law for felling inferior kerosene took place at Batavia, N. Y., in the suit of tho State board of health against T. J. Nobles, whose oil exploded with fatal results. Jamei Tbeolown, a Cornish miner, twenty-four years old, was hanged at Morristown, N. J., for tho murder of his sweetheart, Minnie Chergwin. Treglown wan jealous, and meeting his swoetheart walking with another man he tried to shoot his rival, who ran away; then he shot the girl dead. It is now announced that the great East River bridge between New York and Brooklyn will be formally opened cn May 24. The ceremony of throwing the bridge open will be impressive, but very sitfiple. Over ten thousand invitations will be issued, including the President, Vice-President and ex-Presidents of the United States, members of the CQDinet, united oiares oeuawra ouu vuu pressmen, governor, lieutenant-governor and ex-governors of New York State, the govenors of all the States and Territories, the mayors and prominent officials of New York and Brooklyn, members of the foreign diplomatic corps and representatives of the press of America. William M. Evarta will be the orator of the day. During a heavy rain and wind storm two ooate, in which a number of yonng men were returning from work on a boom in the river at Williamsport, Penn., capsized, and four of the occupants were drowned. A nEMAKKAniE affair hns been disclosed in Ea?t Hartford, Conn., after months of prffound secrecy. During last December a six?*?en-year-old daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Edgar Brewer died, and her parents have ever since complied with her dying wish that her remains should not be buried. The body was embalmed and h is been kept in the parlor, the undertaker making almost daily visits for the purpofls of applying chemicals of a preservative character. Now that tho matter is no longer a B3cret the father has consented to build a vault in the yard. South and Weat Caibo, 111., has been shaken up by a heavy earthquake shock. United States Senatob Batabd, exSenator Lyman Trumbull and other prominent Democrats spoke at the dinner given by the Iroquois club, of Chicago, in honor of Thomas Jefferson's birthday. Charles Smith, a well-to-do farmer living near Carlville, Iowa, went to tho barn and killed his two sons, aged nine and thirteen years, "with an ax; returning to the house he killed his wife with the same weapon, and then a!tempted to murder his two daughters, but they escaped to a neighbor's house. Smith then killed himself. No motive ie assigned for the man's terrible work. At Lake City, Col., the jury in the caso of Alfred G. Pucker, charged with murdering five companions in 1872, roturned a verdict of guilty. Packer was one of six composing a mining party, and he murdered all his companions and subsisted on their flesh. James E. Robinson was hanged at Carrollton, Miss., for the murder of W. H. Adair, with w hom he had quarreled ; and on the same day Itobert Massey sufTered a similar punishment at Fort Smith, Ark., for mnrderinc Edwin P. Clark, the motive in this case being robbery. Thavel in the Blaok Hills has been gen erally impeded by a heavy snow storm. A colored man imprisoned near Windsor, N. C., for an attempted assault on a young white girl was taken out of jail by a crowd and hanged to a treo. Sixtefn buildings, including two newspaper offices, wore destroyed by fire at Crisfield, Md., causing an estimated total loss of $100,000. Bio trees fnapping off like pipe-stems, houses blown away, several churches destroyed, and a number of people killed and othor3 injured, sum up the record of a tornado in Arkansas. Hailstones fell as large as hens' eggs. Thbek boarders in the Atlantic hotel at Albin, Iowa, lost their lives in tho flames which destroyed that building. Aheavt storm wrecfcel a great porlion of the village of Zaumbro Falls, Minn. For a long ilntaiieo the fronlfl of the house? oil both sides of the main street were crushed. Tom Dailey (colored) criminally assaulted fi young colored girl iu Meadvillo, Miss., and *fter m irdering her threw hor body in a well, lie was t;iken from jail by a crowd ir.d hanged. Two men. named Johnson and Donnelly, barreled at Stockton, Cal., about a wagon sale. 1 hey fought with knives in a grocery, ind Fettled the dispute definitely by killing cach otl.er. Geoboe SohelijRb, proprietor of the bar In the Newhall house, Milwaukee, was aojuitted by the jury of the charge of having >et fire to the building. Tiie Minneapolis (Minn.) city council has aised the cost of a liquor 6aloon license from plOO to $1,500. TnE destruction by fire of the Abemothy urnuure factory at Leavenworth, Kansns, esnllcd in fatal injuries to one man, who taped from a window, and a loss of $40,000. William Dorset, of Montgomery, Ala., nistook his wifo for a burglar, in the dark, md phot her dead. Thirty-five head of t-hort-hom-cattlc, io!d in Chicago, brought an nggrcgr.ti of ^7,noo. Forty-four cities nnd towns in Illinois ?oted upon the liqnor question. Seventeen Icclarcd for prohibition nnd thirty-one for icsnr,e (of which six were for high license), A freight train was wrecked by running >ver a cow near High Point, N. C. The ngineer was instantly killed, and the firemn nnd a brakeman were seriously injured. The Ohio legislature has adjourned. Five Swedes were capsized while sailing in Lake Washington in Wyoming Territory^ nd four of them drowned, the survivor linging to the boat until it drifted ashore. Cowboys to the nurobor of 300, employed n ranches in tho Pan Handle district, ?exas, struck for an increase of wages from :30 to $C0 a month, and threatened to kill ny new men employed. D. H. Marshall, United States marshal, ; ras killed by outlaws in the Indian Terri- j ^ ory, and several prisoners in hid charge^ j rere freed. ; -<(g~gf K From Waihlagtn; Seoretaby Foloeb has appointed a committee of three prominent treasury officials to investigate the charges of official misconduct recently filed against James Q. Hill, supervising architect of the treasury. Dubino March 38,130 emigrants arrived in the United States. The United States and Spanish claims commissions has concluded its work. The commission was organized for the settlement of certain claims of citizens of the United States in Cuba against Spain. One hundred and thirty cases were presented to the commission, of which thirty-five wore allowed and ninety-five woro dismissed. The who!e amount olaimcd, exclusive of interest, was $30,318,551, of which only $1,2!)3,151 was allowed. The Washington grand jury returned indictments against William Pitt Kellogg, for .-aceiving money while a United States Senator for services rendered in relation to a contract wnn me unneu oiuieu, iuiu against Thomas J. Brady, for receiving money while second assistant postmaster general for services rendered in relation to a contract with the United States. At the annual convention of the National Academy of Sciences, held in the national capital, leading scientists from all parts of the country were in attendance, and papers of scientific interest were read and discussed. Professor O. C. Marsh, of Yale collcge, was elected presidont. The statue of the late Professor Henry, the first secretary and director of the Smithsonian institute, which has been erected on the Smithsonian grounds, was unveiled in presence of a large number of spectators. The ceremonies consisted of music, including chorals by the singing societies of the District, an address and the unveiling of the statue by Chief Justice Waite, and an oration by President Noah Porter, of Yale college. Many eminent scientists and public men were present, and the audience was verylarge. The statue is of bronze, of h3roic size, mounted upon a granite pedes? a1, and was executed by W. W. Story, Congress appropriating $15,000 for the purposo. The entomologist of the agricultural de partment declares there are no signs whatever of phylloxera in the sampler of in*olcof grapevine cuttings furnished by tl.\ New York Custom-house and imported fiom Madeira. The committee appointed by the secretary of the treasury to examine the books, accounts and moneys of the treasurer's office, in connection with the transfer of that office irora wr, uunimn, iiuo treasurer, lu iur. Wyman, the present treasurer, completed the count of the assets after nineteen days' work. An excess of three cents in favor of Mr. Gilfillan was fonnd. Foreign New?. Two thousand persona lnvo been arretted in Moscow, Russia, on suspicion of being ongaged in plotting against the life of the czar. An explosion of fire-dump in the coal mines at Lourches, Franco, resulted in the death of seven miners und severe injuries to many other?. Tiie trial of Charles Bradlaugh, M. P., who with the proprietor and editor of the London Freethinker was charged with publishing a sketch of tho Doity and blasphemous libels in that journal, has resulted in Mr. B.-adlauch's acuuittal. A new Dutch cabinet has been formed. Friedbicti Fbanz II., grand duke of Mecklenbu-g-Schwerin, is dead. It is reported that an English vessel with a large cargo of dynamite 1ms sailed from Antwerp, Holland, for England. Peteb Tynan has been identified as the mysterious "Number One," officer of the Irish "Invincibles," and the man to whom Carey, the informer, referred as directing all the movements of the band who killed Lord Cavendish and Mr. Parke. Timothy Milloy, the murderer of William Nesbitt, farmer, of Longue Point, Quebeo, was hanged in the jail yard in Montreal. A heavy loss resulted from thj burning out of six business firms in Paternoster row, London. Twentt-six nihilists on trial fit Odessa, Russia, were all found guilty, and three wero sentenced to penal servitude for life, seven to fifteen years' penal servitude, four to ten years and four to four years, and eight were banished to Siberia. Foub vessels were driven ashore at Vic toria, Britirh Columbia, by aliurricano. The British ship British Enterprise, from Newcastle for San Francisco, has been sunk by a collision in the river Tyne. A pobtion of Congo, Africa, has been occupied by the French, to the displeasure of the Portuguese, who are in possession of adjacent territory. It was expected that a conflict with the French would follow, and that the explorer, Henry M. Stanley, would require a ship and forces for his protection. Owing to the recent injury to her knee Queen Victoria was unable to walk upon her departure from Windsor for Osborne, and had to be carried to her carriage. The routo along which the queen passed was guarded by police and troops. Daniel Ccblky, the second of the prisoners tried at Dublin for participating in the murder of Lord Cavendish and Under Sec rotary Burke, was found guilty and sen" tenccd to death. Louise Michel, ttio jb rencn iemaie socialist, has been committed for trial in Paris on the charge of inciting to riot, and will conduct her own defense. Wab between France and China is imminent, and several French gnnboats have been ordered to proceed to Chinese waters. The villnge of Oakville, Ontario, has been entirely destroyed by fire, cansing a loss oi ubout $100,OOJ. The flames might have been subdued had not several members of the fire brigade rolled two barrels of whisky out of a drug store and bocorne helplessly drunk. Floods of a disastrocs character are reported from Mexico, especially in Yahnahia, where six persons at least wore drowned and much valuable property washed away. VT nf nUBMAW, uiie U1 lilt; Ci^Hb mtu itwtuwj Uf rested in England on the chargo of dealing in dynamite for the purpose o: blowing up government buildings, has turned informer. His real name is Lynch. He testified that he was born of Irish parents in the State of New York, and that while working at a coichmaker'8 in Brooklyn, last October, he was induced to join a secret society, a branch of a Fenian organization, whose object was to free Ireland by force, and whose members are known by numbers alone; that last March he saw Tr. Gallagher (one of tho' eight prisoners) in Greenpoint, Long Island, and was by him given $1/50 and sent to London, to bo ab.ient about two months, and his mission to be told I him whenjie arrived there; that after reach| ing London he met Gallagher and was told the object of his visit?to blow vp tne government offices at Westminster; that ho went to Birmingham for nitro-glycerino and there met Whitehead (another of the prisoners); that he obtained tho nitro-glycerino from Whitehead and in returning to London met Gallagher. Tho attempt was mado to blow up the government buildings, tint failed. Witness was interrupted J several times by Dr. Gallagher and Whitehand, w ho called him a traitor and a liar, and at the conclusion of his testimony he fainted nnd had to be removed from the court-room. A statue of Lord BeaconsSeld has been unveiled in London. Eiuhtken prominent Nihilists on trial i:i Ht. Petersburg were all found guilty, and six of them sentenced to death. TnE parliament house at Quebec has been almost completely destroyed by fire, onlyone wing being saved. The library, containing 30,000 volumes, was burned with the rest. The fire is believed to be the work of an incendiary. rr. J in m,r. ? 1IJ5 UfLill'IIIIlUIL \J j. aviv?.wv,ii*? nwr.i .4. rv.. suit of the Apaches from southeast Urcs had several running fights with the Indians and claimed to have killed nearly tho whole band. The Apaches were commando! by a white man, formerly a United States Indian agent> who was captured. An unsuccessful attempt has been made to blow up tho London Times office. A box containing powder, with a train attached, was found in the rear of the office. A granger whose name is Bob Shield, Was mowing tho grass in his field,' By a snake ho was bitten, And he has just written, " St. Jacobs Oil has the bite healed." A lame Chinaman on the Pacific, Of pains and aches was prolific; He limped all around, Until he had found St. Jacobs Oil, the great specific. A writer in an Eastern exchange tells in poetry what he will do "when the llower time comes." That's all right, but unless he stops writing such poetry and gets down to solid business, he will be walking toward the wide West, looking for a job, before the flower time comes. There are too many "dower time" poets from the East who are now spending their latter days "jacking" logs in a Western sawmill to be any encouragement to this new poet.?reek's Sun. < A JOYFUL GREETING. Hello! How are you? I am glftd at last your eyes have fallen upon me. Now that we have met, pray cultivate the acquaintance, for it is my. purpose to interest nnd Borve you. Between yon and I, though only a newspaper article, I am ambitious. Having a portentous message for all mankind, if it be oordiaUy received, its import truly realized and aclei upon, I shall be considered a world's benefactor. Could have no higher ambition you will admit. A misanthrope of ample means determined to end his life by drowning himself. Going to the banks of the canal, found the time not favorable for the purpose, a number of persons being in the vicinity, and dayotili nroaanf.. "FTa o.rmnlndGd to walk along the towpath until it was daik. While doing so, ho heard piteons cries leaning from the door of a hovel near by, and unconBciously walked over to the place, and found n poor family consisting of a mother flurroundsd by several children, who told him of their sufferings for food. He took from his pocket his wallot and handed it to the woman, reasoning with himself that he would net need it. The grateful thanks and praises that he received from the recipients of his bounty awoke emotion in his breast, of such a pleasurable character, that he charged his suicidal intent, and decided to live for others. His future life became replete with good deeds?many a dark home anil heurt wore made bright bv his presence. Well, my appearance in these columns, springs simply from a desire on the part of those I represent, to benefit your news-devouring race. My province is to help you, your friends, your relations, aye, even your mother-in-law, if that interesting lady be not nlready far beyond the pale of good influences. I am sent among men to bear tidings of a discovery that marks an epoch as important to the health of mankin 1 as Newton's apple nnd Franklin's kite were to natnral science. The sick, the discouraged, the dejected, the broken uown, and the despairing, may now nil find a euro, certain as the Jordan proved to the Syrian lepper. Jtis only necessary, as in the case of that sufferer of old, to follow directions. Tho agent which I herald builds up the system, sweeps tho cobwebs from the brain, and sends pure, invigorating blood dancing through the arteries to the music of happy laughter. Tiie gloomy, wornout man of business, by proper use of this wonderful medicine, will be enabled to meet trouble and reverses like a man. Then, in perfect health, he will not have nbnormal views of tho "Vicissitudes of fortune, which spares neither man, nor the proudest of his works, which buries empires and cities in a common grave." The weak and nervous woman, just able to c^ag herself, in "moping melancholy" through duties of the day, may steal the bloom from blush roses, and have eyes as bright and sparkling us the dewdrops nestbng in their leaves; and the poor little baby, now disfigured with pimples and scabby sores, may be made sweet, cool and wholesome a:?"chat youngster of Mrs. Blank's, across tho way, whose family is always in a glow of health."- Don't you knowtne reason? "No." Then I will tell you. For > ears your neighbor has never been without Dr. Uiorco's Golden Medical Discovery. 'J his remedy is a medicine, not a beverage, and is to lie taken according to full and perfectly plniu directions accompanying each botile. It is spocifio, but not a patent medicino. and contains no vile narcotics or viler liquor. It in a prescription used for years by tho well-known physician, Dr. R. V. Jficree, of Buffalo, N. Y., whoso name is a household word in innumerable homes all o.or our own and foreign lands. The Golden Medical Discovery is prepared and offered to the public by the World's Dispen snry .MeUlCU AxiOCKllluu, n uuuy uuij.iumic, existing by and under the laws of the State of New York; its president is Dr. Pierce, the great specialist in chronic diseases. The doctor has devoted the best years of a very busy and wonderfully successful life to the relief and cure cf his suffering fellow men? and at a time when high political honors lay broadly open before him, Dr. Pierce resigned his seat in the Congress of the United States, simply from a sense of duty toward others. His associates in the great sanatarium represented to the doctor that the immense business of their association demanded that his personal attention should be paid to the great army of patients crowding upon them from every clime. Dr. Pierce is p.L-o the founder of the Invalids' Hotel at Buffalo. N. Y. This establishment", possessing all the comforts and luxuries of a firstcl<iS3 American hotel, has in addition the daily attendance of a large faculty of eminent specialists, whose practice collectively cover the whole field of surgery and chronic diseases. * The laboratory in which Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery is prepared is an object of interest and wonder. It has a frontage of one hundred feet, a depth of one hundred and twenty-five feet, and is 6ix stories high. In thi j mammoth and palatial workshop two hundred persons are constantly employed in putting up Dr. Pierce's Medicines. While the Golden Medical Discovery's curative effects are almost immediately felt it is not merely a temporary stimulant, but is r.s ccrtainly a safe and complete cure, in all cases for which it is recommended, as it is that certain misery and death will follow their neglect. Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovory will not cure club feet, will not refurnish armless or legless unfortunates with new and perfect limbs, and it is not I thaf Avon n firman hottles annlied to any stray portion of a second hand skeleton, will develop 6uch member into an animate, human form divine (?). In brief, it is not asserted that this medicine will, or can, counteract the decrees of Providence. But in all cases where a high state of civilization and cultivation has engendered disease anc suffering, whereby God's natural man has become a nervous, artificial being, the Golden Medical Discovery will positively restore to him the strong, vigorous, self-asserting life, from which, almost unconsciously, he had drifted far, and perhaps hopelessly away. It is claimed, and guaranteed, if this medicine be used as prescribed, and faithfully persevered in a reasonable time, it will permanently cure liver complaint, and the various blood disorders consequent upon torpoi of the liver, in all their various forms and ramifications, including bronchitis, consumption, which is scrofula of the lungp, dyspepsia, costiveness, sick-headache, skin diseases, fever and ague, malaria, and other disorders arising from poisoned or deteriorated blood. This wonderful medicine cores all humors, from the worst scrofula to a common blotch, piuiple or eruption. Erysipelas, salt rheum, fever sores, scaly or rough skin, in short, all diseases caused by bad blood, are conquered In- this tiowerful. nnrifvinc and invicoratinir medicine. Great eating ufcers rapidly heal under its benign influences. Especially lias it manifested its potency in curing tetter, boils, carbuncles, scrofulous sores and wellii g.s, white swellings, goitre or tlrck neck, and enlarged glands. Consumption, which is scrofulous disease of the lungs, is promptly and positively arrested and cured by this sovereign and God-given remedy, if fcuken before the last stages are reached. For weak lungs, spitting of blood, consumptive night-sweats, and kindred affections, it is a sovereign remedy. For indigestion, dyspepsia and torpid liver, or "biliousness," Golden Medical Discovery has no equal, r.B it effects perfect and radical cures. To all suffering from lassitude, weariness, despondency, lack of vigor or ambition, be it man, woman or child, Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery will speedily impart new tone, vigor and life to the whole system. 1'Iip naggard face will grow round, ruddy, and Loam with the expression of long lost confidence. The step will be firm and elaBtic, and the relieved sufferer will once more enjoy iu common with fellow men that feeling of proprietorship in earth, air and being, only fully realized by those injierfect health. The Golden Medical Discovery win not make drunkards or opium eaters; on the contrary, any unfortunate, driven by trouble, ; dversity or inherited appetite, to the use of insidious stimulants, will find the Discovery of great assistance in efforts to break the chains binding him to a shameful and miserable existence. , Those feeling only "out of sorts," with no predominant symptoms, and who. if asked, would find it difficult to explain their sensations, will find a sovereign remedy in the Golden Medical Discovery. Those who are irritable, petulant, or fretful, ever seeing the gloomy side of life; who imagine "the time is out of joint;" to whom life is a heavy burden, not a blessing; who think the whole world is arrayed against them, and anticipate calamity at every turn; to all such let this message be full of encouragement and joy?Dr. Pierce's Golden .Medical Discovery will radically cure them, when it will be found, to their lasting benefit, that life and the world have not changed, but that disease had thrown clouds of niijery and woo about them, through which all things were seen, aj "through a glass darkly." Let no sufferer be discouraged because he or she has tried other medicines without benefit. In lact, these are the cases the \v?i>iti'a 1)istn>nB/irv Medical Association particularly desire to roach through their Dr. l'ierco's Golden Medical Discovery. 11 hen all other viedicines fail let th is be tried, and no one will be doomed to further disappointment. The Golden Medical Discovery is a prescription of a physician with a wide-awake reputation and an honorable position to maintain. It is far beneath the dignity of Dr. Fierce to lend his name to any vile nostrum, or catch-penny preparation, whereby the public may be deceived. Having used his Discovery for many years in his unprecedented private practice, he is convinced it is indeed n specific in diseases mentioned. Desiring this marvelous euro shall benelit not only tiioso with whom he comes personally iti contact, but that all mankind may be embraced in his grind plan for the amelioration of human sultering, the doctor, through the World's Dispensary Medical Association, earnestly and most confidently recommends hi* (i 1dm Medical Discovery to the public at large, assured tho most skeptical will be thoroughly convinced of its worth by a trial of a single bottle. In stubborn, or long-seated affections, and where the bowelsr.ro very costive, the gentle, i hough certain action of tho Discovery, will be more rapid and f-atisfaetoryby supplementing Dr. Pierce's Pieasnnt Purgative Pellets in small daily doses of one or two. These l>i!ls (tho original and only genuine Little Liver Pills) are purely rc<jntablr, sugarco: tod, and very small, yet by tho peculiar process used in their preparation, they possess the sirenyth and virtuo of larger and unpalatable pilK Pleasant Purgative I'ellets will speedily jeinove all ill and disagreeable effects ar sing from over-eating or drinking, and are iecommcnded as a cat!ia: tic at all times, being perfectly safe, sure and u:u<Uciided by tho gri|>ing pains usually oxpci Oil'.i'(l in the use of purgatives less uircfiiiiy prepared. Promptly resorted to, tlu'se li.ile IMIets will radically euro indigestion, l:ilioi:sro<s and sick-headache, thus saving the palicni from serious and lingering di.-onlers. Dr. Pierce, the President of ihi World's Dispensary, and his faculty of iwehe si,il!e:i specialists, c.m bo consulted by letti r or in peison in any case ot chronic disease r yniring either medical or surgical treatment free of charge. For those desiring ino:v e\!:."rs;ive information than can be imparted through cjrre.- p indence, tho doctor has written a boo'c. called "The People's Common f-"enso Medical Adviser, in Plain English; or, Mtdicne Simplified." This work alono is a goodly harvest for an ordinary life, and stamps its author a pro- , found scholar and a very remarkable man. tThe book contains nine hundred and twentytwo pages, illustrated with two hundred and eighty-aii wood cuta and colored plates, and i makes plain as a, b, c, anatomy, physi- ( ology, materia medica, praotice of medicine, hygiene, temperaments, psychology, etc.? ana answers in plain, easily-to-be-under- , stood terms all questions that ipay -arise. m within their range, especially those ques- tions the would-b^ inquirer ii deterred by j fear, or modesty, from asking tjjo family or | other physician. That all may be enabled to acquaint themselves with matter 60 vital to health, happiness, and success, the price of I this great work has been fixed at one dollar 1 and fifty cents, postpaid by mail to any address. while smaller and fnr inferior books, purporting to cover the same ground, have sold at five dollars a copy. It being the aim of the proprietors of the Common Sense Medical Adviser to reach not only the affluent, but also those in moderate, and oven straitened, circumstances, the price of tho work places it within the reach of alL Chinese as Agriculturists. Por two or three years Lum Thik Lup lias tilled a farm across the East river from Harlem and sold his vegetables in the Chinese quarter. Wah Keehas a farm not far from Lum Thik Lup's, and he too has prospered. There has been some talk of a Chinese society buying a good-sized farm on Long Island and lending its energies to the cultivation of cabbages and the like. Vegetables are brought from China and sold in the Chinese grocery stores. 1 They are not fresh, of course, but are alted, pickled or dried. Ah Wong, of he Chinese American, said he had < heard of a project of Chinese to en- i gage in farming. "The fact is, we are 1 going to try and civilize the commu- i nity," said he, blandly. A scribe who was at work with a brush and a saucer i of India ink preparing reading mat- i ter for the next issue of the paper looked up for an instant and Atfnw V> ia ofttln /vf* trnllAW UCllb WCJl 1HO VI. J ii paper again. "What is the matter with American vegetables?" repeated Ah Wong, in response to the inquiry. "They are too green, I think," and he made a grimace like a small boy at green apple time. "The Chinese husbandmen rear the vegetables with more care than the American. The Chinese vegetables taste sweeter, but that is on account of the aromatic air of China, I suppose." Wah Sing, the dignified head of the grocery house of Wah Sing & Co., was entertaining a party of his countrymen at dinner when waited upon. He at one time expected to engage in farming. He thought of buying a farm, but before he could get husbandmen to till it the owner sold it. He knew of some Chinamen who were talking of branching out in agriculture, and he thought there were millions in it. " The duty on Chinese vegetables," he remarked, " is high and the freight .is heavy," diving down into a keg that looked as if it were filled with red paint and bringing up a dripping object in appearance something like a lean sausage, about three inches long; " that is nearly the same as the cucaraber." Wah Sing fished out from another re ceptable wnat looKeci w Dea picKieu lemon, and from a bath of salt water he drew what might huve been taken for a section of some one's spiual column. This last thing, 'Wall Sing explained, grew as com does here,|and was chopped off in much the same way. No one but a Chinaman could have caught the name that Wah Sing gave it.?New York Times. Shayinj? a Pig. Chief Justice Chase in his boyhood gave little promise of his future career. He was near-sighted, had a bad impediment in his speech, and was stoopshouldered, shambling and slouchy in hi9 appearance and gait. Owing to the death of his father and the poverty of his mother he was adopted by his uncle, Bishop Chase, of Ohio. The Cleveland Leader tells the following amusing story of his early life: "One day the bishop went away on one of his trips into the diocese, and told Salmon to quit school, early enoucrh in the afternoon to, kill and dress a pig. The young man,'had never done anything of the kind, but he knew that he must first catch the pig. He did this after great trouble, and finally killed it. But now the question arose how he should get i the hair off. He had heard that the i farmers usually scalded hogs, and- so l he heated a lot of water and soused ' the pig in. But he held the pig in too j long, and the water was too .hot, so : that the hair was simply set, and 1 would not come out at all. The future ; jurist dug away with his fingers until I they were raw, but to no effect. He finally bethought himself of the ; bishop's razor, and getting it, shaved [ the pig from nose to tail. Every one congratulated him upon the good job he had done, but when the bishop next tried to shave himself lie came as near as bishops ever do to us;ng profane language." The World'sJPopuIation. The population of the entire globe is still far from being definitely determined. Hardly two original investigators agree- In this country the e 5timates of Drs. Belim and Wagner are generally accepted a? the most reliable, yet their latest figures differ from those of two years before by upward of 22,000,000. Then they stated the population of the entire globe at 1,455,023,500, whereas now they state it at 1.433,887,500, distributed as fol lows: Europe 327,743,400 Asm 795,591,000 Africa 20.*.,823,300 America 100,415,000 Australia and Polynesia 4,232,000 Polar regions 82,500 One might infer from this that instead of increasing, as would be naturally expected, the human race is dying out; but closer inspection snows wiui the estimate of the population of China lias been reduced about 55,000,000. Accepting this and all the other estimates, there seems to be an increase in other countries of about :JS,000,000; part of which is due to the fact that the geographers had the benelit of the census takers in different countries in 1880 and 1881, showing the growth_of five to ten years. " i Farms and Homes, The beat m the world, are easily obtained in Dakota, Minnesota and Northern Iowa. Get ready to move in the Spring. First come, best served. County maps, description of lands, rates of passage and freight, furnished free by William H. Leslie, Agent, Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul R. R., Rochester, N. Y. No trouble to answer questions. Catarrh of (be Bladder. Stinging irritation, inflammation, Kidney, < Urinary complaints, cured by Buchupaiba. $1. The Indian of falcon glance and lion bearing, the theme of the touching ballad, is , gone; but the petroleum they discovered, i now made into Carboline, the natural Hair | Restorer, will live forever. , No molasses and water mixture, but a con- 1 I mo/limnnl nrnnPrfiAQ nf CCIiHUl/UU. 0*UUV/W v* U?VVUV4M,.. r.wr?...?v ' roots, barks, etc., is Hood's Sarsaparilla. j Thnt flunband of Mine [ Is three times the man he was before using Wells' Health Renewer. $1. Druggists. The most comfortable boot in town is that with Lyon's Patent Metallic Heel Stiffenera. For soro feet, swollen joints, sprains, corns or banions, use St. Patrick's Salve. Chrolithion collars and cuffs will not turn yellow nor grow 6tiff, like other waterproof goods. The army of the king of the Hawaiian islands consists of forty-nine men. SPRING .MEDICINE. I F At no other season is the human system bo responslrr 9, to mcdicine. Take Hood's Sarsaparilla. At no other >' season is the blood so corrupt or In so low a aondition. r Take Hood's Sarsaparilla. At no other season is thero M so much biliousness, headacho, loss of appetite, weari* 1 ness and extreme tired feolinc. Take Hood's Sarsa- 1 narilla to PURIFY YOUR BLOOD. | ^ "Ihave never found anything that hit my wants ai i b Hood's Sarsaparilla. It tonos np my system, purifiei j S my blood, sharpens my appetite and seems to mako me ' y OTer."?J. P. THOMrsoy, Keg. of Deeds, Lowell, Mass. y "If people want a raedicino to go all through'em, [ C and wake'em np, tell'em to take Hood's Sarsaparilla." j p ?F. 1?. Bixby, Meredith Village. N. H. i r "When I had.finished the second bottlo of Hood'f I fi Sarsaparilla I felt like a new person. I can do two daytf j 5? work In ono now."?Mits. A. d. Allen, Lowell, Mass ' f |t nOOD'S SAltSAPARlLLA. . Sold by Druggists. Price SI; sir for $5. Prepared ' onlybyC. I. nOOD ACQ., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass. i m An Undoubted Mousing. I About thirty years ago, a prominent Physician by the I . name of Dr. William Hall discovered, or produced i C after long experimental research, a remedy for diseases | m of the throat, chest and lungs, which was of such won. ? derful efficacy that it soon gamed a wide reputation in j Vi this country. Tho name of tho medicine is Dr. Wm. ' Hall's Balsam for the Lungs, and may be safely relied ?' rn as a speedy and positive euro for coughs, colds, sore # tnroat, etc. Sold by all Druggists. *5 Durno's Catarrh SntifT. This well known remedy for Catarrh still maintains ? its well earned |>opularity. E. . Savage, of Genova. * Kansas, writes, March4. 1880: "I have used Durno's C| Catarrh Snuff, and it is the ot.> "h.'ng that docs me any jood. It always effects r " tfrtd by all druggists Ai / Oastbhis should nealfl to insure perfect assimilation of food. Jastbikx iflinliqnidTorm. Soldbydrnggiito. "Eonfh on Caru^). _ . . Askfor Wellir"Roagh on Corns." 15c. Qmck elief; complete care. Corns, warts, bunions. Pgg||, GERMAN REMCOY FOR. PAIN. I Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica, 9 Lumbago, Backache, HeaAct*, Toothache, I |or?Thro?t,Sw*lllnf?1Npr?lni,Bnil?<a, 1 " " Mi. Frost Bite*. I A.ID ALL "OTHER BODILT PA 1.18 AND ACHSS. jm fioldbj Druijtm ?cd n?s'.er? cTnrrwhtrc. Fin? C?nti? fcotU* Dlrwtioo? in 11 Ltopipl. JH TIIE ClIAKIiES A. VOGELEU CO. 13 M tfirnrn 1 - ' TWM*Ct) HaJU*?r*,liiL,C.8.i. m N Y N U^ie ) m Hear What One Member of the rr?fw?1w l Testifies Regarding the Sclentlflo Prepair J 1 atton of a Brother Member * f J Mb. Dawley has been in the drag business In the f J :ity of Providence twenty-five vears as clerk and pro? vy prietor In good standing, and knows whereof ha / ifflrms.?Ed. / fl Dr. D. gays"Per man; years I have suffered, ln> fU tensely at times, with what Is generally called then- i matiam. When first attacked I was confined to my bed :.JM and could not walk a stop. I could not boar the :--Sn weight of the bedclothes, so excruciating was the J agony I endured. I always noticed that beforstheeo. J attacks came on my ki-iaoya wero tOfeetsd ; befose -fl there would be any pain in m v limbs at any swelling M of Joints or limbs, the color of it* e secretion* from the fl kidneys would bo very dark r.nd the odor strong and feverish. The last attack was very severe, about Ova 9 years ago, and I was confined to the house esrerii weeks, and was unable to atteu l to business in thraf 9 months. During the time Twas confined at home fl and the time of my convalescence I employed four of the best doctors that I could obtain, but none Off I them gavo mo permanent relief, for they did not so fl to work at the cause of the trouble. Having beer, ae- -v-J quainted with the proprietor ci Hunt's Bemady a . .J long time I was Induced byhlia to give It a trial, hoping that it might roach the scat of the disease; and after taldns one Lottie I found myself very modi improved, and after taking the second I was feeling . W better than I had after any preyious attacks. During many months previous to taking the Remedy my hands and fingers , would . J bo very much swollen and stiff every mom-. j lug; my left side. In the region of stomach I and spleen, was very lamo and sensitive ; at times I I would bo taken with severe cramps over the spleen, J and bo obliged to apply mustard or cayenne for tem- fl porary relief; I was very nervous nights and could C not sleep ; I was obliged to bo very parucuu?r m l?, diet and my physical system wju sadly demoralized. Since I have taken Hunt's Remedy systematically all these things havo changed; I have no swollen K hands or limbs, ao pains or cramps In the side, can ? eat all kinds of food, sleep soundly arl get thor- JH oughly rested, and my kidneys are activa and per- Fa loi-m their functions promptly, thus taking out of ?IS (be system all the poisonous secretlo:; which con- jfl laminate the whole system where the kidneys do not - M act emcieutly. My friends, what Hunt's Rented* has done for me it will do for all of you. I believe tl <.-.ai to be the only sure cure for all diseases of the Kidceys, Liver and Urinary organs. Respectfully, Vm E. R. Dawlkt, 46* Broad Street.'* . rjfil I jl CUIII^Tll do most be gathered <9 Sch'dSi?l0 I ?lTTER I ? ^ a . The E.STEY ORGAN-Olrf eatAbllshed and popa Iar. Kept new by enterprise and ikiJl. An UhwtTlfco Catalogue, with full descriptions of slegaot stylNLMafc -fl in*. J. BSTEY A CO.. BnUitboto/VU M -ii-PIAMONP 1 m JO-FOB 8HK, "WOOL, OB COTTOX.-W- . SHI DRESSES, COATS, SCARFS, HOODS, YARN, 8TOCKING8, CARPET RAGS, RIBBONS, FEATHERS, or any ftbrte a IM fancy article eaaily and perfectly ooloredtcany lluda. Black, Brown, Green, Bine, SorM, Cardinal Bed, Jfary Bias, Seal Browa, OUre H Green, Terr* Cotta and 30 other best cotora. Warranted Fast and Durable. ZachpaokSfewjA color one to four 11*. of gooda. If you have arrer i^H used Dyee try these onoe. Yon win be dellgkted. 3H Bold by drngglata, or tend ua 10 oents sad any V oolor wanted sent post-paid, 24 colored samples andasetofffcncycardj'sentfc>rs8o.st*inp. H WELLS. BICBABD SON* CO. ,B?rila*ts?,Tt.- 0 GOLD and SILVER PAINT. 1 , Bronze Paint. Artists' Black. Par gliding Taaoy Bwduta, PnoM, T?wy? ftTirf frcr nil VfnHanf frmRTn^TlfAl wrffV. Equal to any of the high priced Idnda and anl> H 10ats.?pMk?ge,*tthedrngglstalorpott-p?ldftaa I WELLS, BICHARDBOTf Jk Oft, BirihttoiTt fl tm Is UOfftlllDR &od Intat . v- v '^H 1 CURES AND Dance, AlcoholJan, Opium 8^'Jfufc I caases^^rvoua^ft^Bfc* Ntv? f?ib.>SSSt dfl Nfroxfllilissfeisssis M \frl V Thousands proclaim II YB * m the most wonderful In- -'H VlgnrajittbatevergnfltalnedtheslnWlDgsYstem. Fof am by all Prucglata. THE PR. 8. A. RICHMOND fctBPICAL VP- Sole Pioprletora. St. Joaeph. Mo- ^^9 HBim/M A Iieiidinff London Phy?? H1BHhRH&1 Iclaa eataniunea *n i wm? SLPII|Bw5 Office In New York . I ? fall TO for the Core of t Vfl 1) 1 II EPILEPTIC FITS. M A A ggj From Am Journal of Medici**; jl Dr. Ab. Meserolo (l?te of I/radon), *h0, clalty of Epllepay, has without doubt trcaUdjnd . mm rnorocUMthan inyotherllTlng Ehrric'"^ ? IViSTS H liaa?lmplyb<!enast<inl?hlng; wonavebeiird of cmm <? .^Bj owtOyem' Handing eueceaiftilty cured br him. M H| hit* rmhiiihed a vrork on this dliowo, which bo MM? with ?largo bottle of hit wonderful core fr?? to*ny ?nffrror who may Mod their expreis and P. 0. Addreai ? FRAZER I AXLE GREASE I Bent in tbc world. Get the genuine. Btl? nncknifv Imn our trnde.uiark nnd U m anted trazer'K. SOLD KVEHYVVliERE. 'nmJjSm 1 Zg^StJSSFi&JttSBk' II t Sold on trial. VirruUl;?n. Ill tin* u low. > MB tot tn* book, addrwe I B 5 JONES OF BINBHAMTON, - ! "iMW BI5C1U1T03, 5. ' fHE^UN^Mvr" No other newspaper published on this side of the >arth is Ixiutrht and ivacl by so many men and I'omen. Why? Because it is outspoken, truth-telling ind always interesting. It is everybody's newspaper. subscription: Daily (4 pages), by mail, 3j>c. ?' uonth, or SO.oO a year; Scnday (8 pages), 81.20 )eryear: Wkekly (8 ca?es), 81 perxear. . H I. W. KXULAND. Publisher. NeW York aty. CONSUMPTION. M I b*To a posltlro remedy for the above disease; by Its nse thousands of cases of the wont kind and of umr standing have boen cured. Indeed, aoitroaglamyfkltB In I,, .m^ayw Ih.li I alll aAtwl TttTl mVTTr T& PRRR to. gather with a VAI.U ABLE TUKATISE on tbla in;e offerer. OlvoExurom anil P. O. cddr<!*?, JDR. T. A. BLOCUM, 181 Pearl St.. WowTortc. 1jfcT.ifc?rfiiria?aadL B CURES WHEIE Alt USE FAILS. B BestCoURh Syrup. Tastes good. kSJ Use In time. Sold by drufrtrwts. US [ Pleasant and Profitable Pastime Oil ALL. To advertise our regular bumnesa we will ml for .* t .00 a complete itample outfit, from winch >u can easily mr.k'j from to $10 per da;. Adiircg. ith xix rents for return postage, I ilK DANA HICKOH [i C<).. KiT. Wniiil Ml Broadway, New York City. B0 m ? [j S3K3 B& ENERGETIC LADIES Igjg ttj Eta |q oT h II of good nddresH to sell jnlsaa a ^.Ebstamukii LAUNillff'AEiU I fiaEf !)!? V WAX.Tr.egooda re MUM .CLASS, < M.Al', r.iul fell readily. For r :iulars addre-? Nil.AS II. l'AlSl?? Iioora 14i :a:i.!ard Work, Cleveland. Ohio. MARTHA'S VINEYARD 1 l'mmeb Institute. July 11-Aug. lo, 1883. 19 Departpats; .T6 Teachers. For Circular* (free) adama B* V. PUTNAM, Atft., Jamaica Plain (Boston), Mail. oung Men! Old Men! Ladies! Suffer'f onsultntion free. Treatment by letter. Nervous Debily, Iranot?'ncy, Femalo Weaknesses, etc., a Specialty. AULD. WKiaT, M.D., Brooklyn. fc.Y.. P.O. Box86. AAlf UCRCI I will send a useful article that 8 31 B S? flCnt i pvi.-ry family should have for nUUIl ONE DOIXAIt to any address: worth /HH J. ( H.Utl.ES 11. DAVIS, Coal Hlnfl", Pa. I) <Wi SHEETS lino writing paper, in blotter, with SB H ralenaar, by mail for 2"?c. Ajfcnt* Wanted* |y Economy PRINTING CO., Nuwburyport, Mw. i (fonts Wanted for the Best and Fnatestseilinji L I'ctonal Hooka and Bibles. Prices reduced 33 per nt. NationalPcblibhino Uo., Philadelphia, Pa._ H &S3IIVA? Morphine IlaMt < ur?d In 10 fl IflMlWW toaOdny. So pay till CnreJ. ^ "I wIWI i"** J* toijo-uKNa, Lobacou, OWa IHA.\ UUUK tor Ml who will jnnkoeparoumo prnmk ^alilo; a good paying bUBinesa if you ran devoteyour Ffcwliolciimoi.iit. MuniiAY Hili.. Bqx788<N.Y nilkir UCU telegraphy hens and wa will UUtlU IrfLdidvo you a situation. Circulars free. \1,I:NTIM: HKOS., June*ville. \VU. BH K 4a per day at hnran. Samples worth $5 (me. 10 $?U Addrjsa STINBON A Co.. Portland, Me. 1 T> CI COLEMAN BUSINESS COLLEGE, HI !) v Newark, N. J. Write for Catalogue, 7?AWEEK. i!12ndayat homo easily made. Costly I ? onttit freo. Aildre-w Tuuk A Co., Auifusta, Me. CC a week in your own town. Terms and $5 outfit Hfl DO free. AddressH. HallettACo., Portland, Mo. iply for Peiiafon. Try J. K. Speer, Indinnsgol IfcTrfl, UH ^gjH