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ABBEVILLE PRESS & BANNER. i BY HUGH WILSON. ABBEVILLE, S. C., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7, 1877. VOLUME XXIV.-NO. 39. Maureen C'osha Dim*. Maureen Cosha Dhns! Yer the purtiest lass Ever walked on shoe leather or dhrove a boy mad ; For your wee little feet And yer figure bo sweet Are too much for the brain of a poor Irish lad. Maureen Cosha Dhns! When I see ye at mass, Saints above ! I'm am afraid that it s t' yeh I pray; An' th' crown o' my hat \\ nen i iook at mat. Has yer purty face there, wid the dimples at play Maureen Cosha Phas! Thin the medda yc cross, To your father's nate cabin just under the hill, Th' divil we're tould, Tempted Tony of ould Wid a woman?Bedad ! .ve've the pattern etill. Maureen Cosha Plias! . (Yer's th' sly little lass) Wid yer " Top o' th' mornin'," thin veh go on yer way, But yer purty eyes dance And yeh gives me a glance That sez : "Pinny, agra ! have yeh nothin't say?" Maureen Cosha Dhas, I'll not let yeh pass Th' next time I meet yeh at fair or at wake; \ Me pace yeh destroy An' that's hard on a boy That'ud fight a whole faction and die for yer sake! Maureen Cosha Dhas, We'll sit on the grass Wid me arm round yer waist, and a tear in yer eve: And yeh'Id say : " Parlin Dinnis ! Spake to Father Maginnis; Shure I'd rayther do that, now, nor think that ye'd die!" " MORMON GULCH." The Story of the First California State Election. The reminiscences of a California pioneer are thus graphically detailed in a recent issue of the San Francisco Daily Evening Bulletin : If I do not mistake my reckoning the rain and election day came together? Tuesday, Nv?veinber 13, 1849. It was ' the first election in California for the State officers of the country's youngest sister of the Union, and the rain was the first of that rainy season. It was a damp day, but it was far from oeing a dismal or a dull day hi our camp. We were in " Old Tuolumne," in a camp then noted for its richness and exceptionally free from the wild, lawless and tragic scenes which too often, in those days, brought to mining camps an evil name, and desperate characters to make the game worse even than the name. It was known as Mormon Gulch, and was situated about four miles from West Van Benscliotiin's noted camp on Wood's! creek, and eight miles from the Sonoraniau camp (now Sonora), which was to the southern mines then the same as Hangtown (Placervilte) was to the northern mines. I'lOXEERS OF MORMON GULCH. Mormon Gulch was not a dull camp. It had its "characters," and among the chief men were A. A. Tuttle, afterwarc1 county judge of Tuolumue; Mike Tubbs, an English sailor, our alcalde, and his brother, the sheriff; Tom Wade, in after years a prominent citizen of Mokelumne Hill and mayor of Placerville; Charley Shaw, a wild Texan, who succeeded Tubbs as sheriff; Oliver Twist?the only name he went by in camp?a mountain man, son of an old trapper, and a nimrod who never failed to bring down his grizzly in the three " bar hunts" we had; " Poker " Bums, famous for his Munclmusenisms in praise of the empire city; "Yankee," who was the only New Englaiuler among us; and liist and luckiest, "Nigger Bob," a faithful slave, who maintained his dissipated and worthless master?a son of an Alabama clergyman?in his extravagance at the bar and the monte and poker tables, uncomplainingly, out of the rich claim he was allowed to hold up the gnlch. He was i a general favorite, and before the first rain fell he sold his claim and started for i Stockton, there to provide in some way to send his young master back again to Montgomery; but the wretched man fell by the wayside on the journey from excessive drinking, and Bob, unable to find any teamster willing to carry7 the corpse to Stockton, had it decently ' buried near the old "Mountain House," returned to the camp and took up a fresh claim, which proved a mine, indeed, to him, for in a few months he made his pile in it. There were two notorious characters, ' not exactly of the camp, but who regularly once a fortuight made it the scene of their howling orgies. They were known as " Nick-of-the-Woods" and "Oregon Tom," and Jo Proctei as the " Jibbenainosay " would have paled his ineffectual dramatic fire before the demonical display of our Nick, had he ever encountered him when in the height of his " good time " with his in-' separable other dare-devil bacchanalian, | the partner of his morning luck in the diggings and the sharer of his big trees in camp, when the whisky suffered until their joi?t purse was emptied. The pair alwavs entered the camp at night. know with whom it was not safe to quarrel, ami of these Nick, Tom and Oliver were his especial fear. THE FIRST STATE ELECTION*. It was the morning of the first State election in California that the first rain of the wet season came. It poured incessantly all that day and until noon of the day following. For about two weeks the coming of election day had been the leading topic. The prefect of San Joaquin district, Captain Nelson Taylor, had visited the camp, made official proclamation of the election, appointed the alcade's tent as the polling place, and three of the most prominent men as officers of election, who were empowered to select their own clerk. He had left with the alcade a list of the various candi dates who were in the held, but he brought 110 tickets. Charley Brown, a teamster, had arrived from Stockton with a wagon load of freight, nnd somebody had paid him to bring a lot of printed tickets?the only ones seen in camp? with the name of Ed. Gilbert conspicuously printed, for Congress, on all of them, but with the candidates for all the other offices generally mixed. Brown, in unloading, had allowed Oliver Twist's squaw to see the small package of tickets, and ns the neatly cut white paper things took her fancy she offered him a " pinch " of gold dust for the lot. He made the sale promptly, and that transaction lost Gilbert a good many votes he might have got in Mormon Gulch. It was not at first known how the squaw had got possession of the tickets; it was enough to know that Bhe had them, and the popular indignation was roused against a candidate who would have his tickets peddled out in that way. Two days after the election, when Oliver succeeded in drawing from the dusky creature the means by which she obtained the tickets, nearly all regretted that they had "coppered" Gilbert at the polls, as he was one of the "Stevenson volunteers," and generally popular among them. But it was lucky for Brown that he never made another trip to the gulch. The season for hauling liau ended with the coming of the rain. THE TOLLING BOOTH. The election was a scene to be remembered. The alcnlde's tent, in which it was held, was the largest in the camp, except those owned dv tne traders and the two used for gambling and drinking saloons. Indeed, the alcalde himself did a regular business at monte and short cards, and therefore he had tables handy for election uses?one for the judges, and another for the desk and refreshments which the occasion seemed to require. Before the polls opened a discussion was held as to how the voting should be conducted. Tubbs, the alcalde, had never witnessed an election outside of England, and had an idea that the British polling system would be the neat thing. He stood alone in that view. Charley Shaw had succeeded Tubbs' brother as sheriff, and was the most popular authority in camp. He proposed the open viva vocc system, and, backed by the Texans, Kentuckians, and some others, the proposition prevailed over that presented by the Baltimoreans and New Yorkers for the secret ballot. It was argued by the viva vocc advocates that there was no ballot box, no tickets, or not enough paper in the camp to use for ballots, aud this argument had its weight. CASTING THE VOTE?THE MASTER OF CEREMONIES. The mode of voting having been agreed upon, Charley Shaw installed himself as master of ceremonies. He stood outside tho tent, braced up with two or tnree ; extra nips to give him the stiffening and ! dignity the occasion required. The rain poured, but Charley was neither sugar uor salt to fear water on the outside. So long as none got inside of him he defied the element. He was a model of unpolished urbanity and untutored persuasiveness. His voice was never in better or more sonorous tone, and he gave it all the chance it would stand. As each voter approached Charley shook j hands with him, asked his name in full, whether he had a right to vote, for whom he intended to vote, and then led him into the tent, to the table, and then required the voter to stand uncovered while the clerk wrote down his name, the names of the candidates for whom he voted, etc. This ceremony over, Charley then escorted the voter out, proclaimed aloud for whom he had voted, and turned to repeat the formality with the next who offered. CHANGING THE METHOB OF VOTING. As there were about one hundred and fifty voters awaiting their turn, and by this system only thirteen had voted during the first hour?for Charley' had to liquor up several times, and no voter was allowed to enter the tent except under his escort, it was suggested that a more expeditious method should be adopted. It was agreed to try tho ballot system. Then came the trouble to procure paper for tickets. The raiu had spoiled most of the writing paper, Doc. Woodland never left it or slept while their " dust " held out, and regularly departed before daybreak, when the protracted spree was over. Just where their claim wns, no one in camp, except Oliver Twist, knew, and all that he could be induced to say of it was, that it " was lousy with gold," as it must have been to maintain them as it did in their frequent carousals, when drinks were four bits, cigars a dollar, and their average squanderings at least four or five ounces per day. But with all their riproariousness they were scrupulously "square" in their dealings and as open handed as princes are proverbially accredited to be. There were among the improvident and desperate a dozen or more who had deserted from Major Graham's command <^f the United States cavalry, ordered to California that year, and they were far from being a favorite acquisition in the gulch. The most obstreperous of the party was called Bill Bailey (they had all assumed fictitious names to escape identification), and a more pestiferous "rough " never CILTBtfU il pcucciui OUUJJ Willi IU? UUhored presence. He wrk too indolent to work and had not money to gamble, bnt he kept pretty full of whisky, and in his cups was insulting and quarrelsome. He had cunning enough, nevertheless, to ! imu, ana ms -was me oniy siock oi 11 in the camp. He at once took advantage of the "corner" by cracking up the price to four bits a sheet for the good and two bits for that which the water bad soaked. As the candidates had no friends ready to sustain them to such an extent as the purchase of paper for tickets, and no one cared to fool away money on paper when there was so much whisky to buy to keep the dry from a thirst that had to ; be mollified, the exigency occasioned a search for whatever would serve the purpose. Old letters, scraps of newspaper margin and all sorts of odd bits were put to use, and in some cases the fragment was so small that it was necessary to fill both sides with the ticket. REMOVAL OK THE POLLING BOOTH?A FLOATING VOTE. By noon, the rain, which had abated just after the polls opened, commenced to pour with drenching fury. It beat through the tent top, trickled from the ridge pole down upon the bare polls of the polling officers, who hod done honor to their position by taking off their hats to it, and into the mining pan, which was used to hold the ballots, so as to convert the poll into a floating vote, as each ticket was " cast upon the surface of the occasion to trust to the sublimity of luck" as to whether it would wash or might run as it was read. The condition of things was too overpowering for patriotism alloyed with flesh and blood to withstand, and without the fear of having their action repudiated by an overturning board on the suspicion of bull-dozing the ballot?although admit ting uiat tney won mumiuatea ny tne rain?by common consent a change of location was made. A monte dealer in a waterproof tent agreed to allow the officers the use of Ins table on condition that a good vote was polled for his friend Carpenter, of Mississippi, for the Legislature, and, 011 a round number of voters agreeing to the proposition,he announced " the game is made !" cleared away his piles of coin and sacks of dust, his spread and himself, and surrendered the table to the uses of the election. Then the polls were held until they closed and the count was duly proclaimed. But Carpenter failed of an election. Charley Shaw was not in condition to officiate after an early hour of the afternoon. His arduous and very responsible duty during the viva voce voting had required frequent stiffeners, and by the time he found himself let out by the substitution of the ballot system lie was so ; overcome as to need rest, or at least repose. The Case of Mary Flood. Mary Flood was a comely young Irish \ woman, unfaithful to her husband. On j a Sunday morning Flood, maddened by | finding his wife in another man's apart- ! ments, pursued her with the first weapon lin pnniii lnv his hands irDon. an iron ! reamer, and killed her on the threshold j of the home she had dishonored. The wo- | man is dead and the murderer afterward gave himself up to justice, his own conscience being his pursuer. Almost a similar history of misery and crime has just reached its culmination in ] Philadelphia. Four years ago a beautiful girl of respectable parentage was tempted from her home to a career of vice. During these four years her brother, a decent, honorable, middle aged man,' has followed her in vain, striving with tenderness, arguments, ap-1 peals of every kind, to bring her back to i a pure life. The woman's nature was ! hopelessly corrupted. If she returned for a season, temptation was waiting J near at hand, and she fell again each . time lower than before. The brother was driven by grief and shame at last to ; drink, and a few weeks ago, while crazed ! with rage and liquor he discovered this j poor Alice, who had been so dear to him j in his childhood, in an infamous house, | and shot her through the heart. So this j woman also is dead. Another innocent, happy home is held up to public shame, stained indelibly with crime and blood. The brother, "whose load," as the judge snid while sentencing him, "had been heavier than many men are called upon to bear," is condemned to wear out the best years of his life in the penitentiary. The seducer can read the story at his ease in the morning paper, quite satisfied that there is no point where the crude, ! groping fingers of the law can touch him. \ Even public opinion has no heavier punishment for him than a half amused rebuke. The law and society provide prompt remedies for the injuries inflicted by blows with iron clubs or pistol shots; but of hurts which go down into the soul and life, corrupting the one and ruining the other, they have no cognizance. Hence it may be in place even for a ! merely secular journal to remind its j readers now and then that there is a reality more mighty and enduring than crime in tenement houses or its punishment in courts ; a wider, m?re stable h'fe, in which the errors of this perplexed world will be set right in calm and certn'nty.?X. }". Tribune. How About Burning Them Up I Witnesses are still testifying about the Ashtabula bridge. Expert after expert is called to add to the evidence that the bridge was not safe. What is the use of all this ? Everybody knows the bridge was not safe. It could not have been, or it would not have broken down. The giving way of the bridge, as if it had been made of I ghiss, settled that question. Now let! the rich company which carried passen-' gers over this dangerous bridge be made | to pay, in the fullest measure of damages, so far as the poor compensation of money can go to offset the destruction of priceless human life. But that is not all. The more interesting and more serious question remains, whether human beings were wilfully permitted to .be burned up, after the bridge fell, for the purpose of saving the insurance on the cars, and diminishing the liability in damages, or for any other purpose ? It has been proven that engines were on hand, which could have been used, and they were not used. It has been slitnvu that many lives were destroyed which could have been saved; that from gross neglect, no matter from what j cause resulting, the Homes were per-' mitted to burn on and consume human j lives and human beings, when they: might have been extinguished. A deaf i ear was turned to the dying, when water, easily supplied, would have rescued ' them. This is one of the blackest, apparently i one of the most fiendish, occurrences ! ever recorded. It is' to the bottom of ! this that the investigation should go. j As to the dangerous condition of the j bridge, you might as well introduce evidence to show tlmt it was not a dry time during Noah's flood ! How about the willful or permissive destruction by tire ? That's the question. ?Xcw York Sun. The Famine in India. A correspondent of the London Timex, writing from Madura, says : " But the saddest feature of all is the j condition of the human inhabitants of ! this great peninsula. I will simply re-' count what I know and testify of what I have seen with my own eyes in the capital of this presidency. "Only a fortnight ago I saw many thousands of poor famine driven creatures from the villages round Madras collected on the shore and on the pier. They were crowding round the sacks of rice grain, with which the sands for at least a mile were thickly covered and almost concealed from view, the grain bags being often piled up in mounds to the height of fifteen feet or twenty feet, j " Yet no onslaught was made on the grain. A few men scattered about, armed with canes, were guarding the sacks for the merchants who owned them, and were sufficient to prevent any attempts at deprcdati >11, though here and there I detected surreptitious efforts, not so much to make incisions, as to enlarge any happy defects already apparent in the material which inclosed the coveted food. " What generally happened was this : Very few of the grain bags were so well made as to make any leakage impossible, and sprinklings of rice were thus scattered about everywhere. The knowledge of this circumstance was the cause of the vast concourse of miserable half starved emaciated creatures who had walked many miles to the spot. Men and women, old and young, even cripples, mothers with infants 011 their liipn, ami naked children?all more or less pitiable in their leanness and iu their hard-set aspect of misery?were earnestly engaged in gleaning up every grain that escaped from the sacks on the i pier and on the shore." Crazed Cashier Taylor. George Payne was sitting in his son' office, says a letter from Franklin, Incl when a stranger entered from the res and motioned him into the back room. "Who are you?" the old gentlema inquired. " Don't yon know Dick Taylor ?" "Ah, I know your voice now," r< plied Mr. Payne; "but how you hav changed." It proved to be the missing cashie of the Franklin First National banl whose crime has been heralded tliroug the land, he having disappeared with a the funds of the bank. His clothes wei muddy; he carried his boots in hi hands, and his face, which had bee shaven except the mustache, was the pi< ture of agonv. His mind seemed sha tered, and his conversation was inc( herent and meaningless. Dr. Webt who came in soon afterward, administei ed valerian, which had a soothing effec a'/iIa/iIt l*n o aL" ail fn ac unu air auuub xiiiau w ^iv/vx* uwuvu tv uv John T. Vawter and Leland Payn< Very soon these gentlemen came, an with them Dr. Donnell. Taylor recoj nized them, but his conversation wf confused and flighty. He called a revo ver liis medicine, nnd insisted on keepin it by him. He had been gone four c five years, he said, and had traveled i Nevada and Colorado all of the time. He inquired the day of the week, th month, and year, aud imagined he left i 1872. When questioned closely as 1 his recent whereabouts, he said that aft< leaving Indianapolis, he went to Cincii nati, thence to 5ladison by boat, thenc to Louisville. New Albany, Jeffersoi ville, and back to Indianapolis. Reacl ing there too late for the train, he coi eluded to walk home, and he had dor so, running almost the entire distanci twenty miles. He complained of soi feet, and on examination they were foui) to be Bwollen and badly galled. At tl] suggestion of Dr. Donnell that he 1: taken home, he threw a roll of bills t the floor, with the remark that he won! give it to any one who would take hi] home. It amounted to ?235. A searc I of his person discovered several tweni dollar pieces and twenty-six one dolli bills, but nothing of value. He said h satchel had been left on the Louisvil! traiu but that it contained nothing excej two shirts and other soiled garments. His reception at home was heartrem ing. His wife, still very weak, had bee prepared for his coming. As he entered Ik room she pulled him down to her bosoj and wept bitterly. His aged moth< mother almost hysterical, and his sistei were inconsolable, but Taylor seemed ei tirely unmoved. In the course of tl day he slept occasionally, and at nigl seemed more at ease, but still wanderiu and incoherent. It may be a mild fori of insanity, or rather delirium, the resu of great nervous prostration. His wil has nerved herself for the work and constantly at liis bedside. Beautify jour Homes. It is astonishing to see the lack < taste around many village and farn houses, and their owners Beem to thin that it is money thrown away to beautii their houses; but let them offer the places for sale, and then they will realis the difference between a house wit-hoi paint or with oue coat in a lifetime, wit no Winds, no pleasant door-yard, r tasty fences around the house, no slia<] ti'HOD i>o frnif ?r> of flmvpri no climbing vines up the porches, n garden "worthy of the name, no smi{ well painted outhouses, no nicely grave ed walks; but in their places Ave ofte find a dwelling, ont of repair, outhous* in a state of decay, fences in poor cond tion, and the general appearance of tL place repugnant to onr feelings. We se the old sign: "This place for sale, hanging on an old tree, with barely leaf upon it. Here it has hung fc many years, and there it will continue 1 hang, probably till the owner goes inf his grave. Nobody wants to buy such forlorn looking " home and people i search of a country place pass on ti they see another sign : " Tins place fc sale;" and hero they find order, tas1 and neatness prevailing?a beautiful co tage, or other style of lioHse, outbuilc iugs in perfect repair, fences neat and i good order, shade trees abundant, fru trees loaded with apples, peais, peacliei plums and chcrries. In the well planne garden they find an abundance of strav berries, raspberries, cm-rants, goosebe: ries, quinces and grapes; and the plat suits them and they purchase it. Nov this place cost but a little more than tl: one they passed, in regard to its adon ments.' What was done to beautify was done by degrees, and the expen? was never felt as amounting to rnucl and so it always is with people who con mence to lay out their homes in the rigl manner. Why He Wept. He left her and stepped out to see friend between acts. " Why, Edward," said she, when 1: returned, "tnero nre tears in yov eves." ' "Yes, pot," replied he, solemnly, " suppose there nre?I saw such ft sad sigl when I was out." " Did you?what was it ?" inquire she. "Such a sad sight"?continued In keeping his face away that she migl not smell his breath?"I discovered young man whom I have known fc years drinking whisky." "You did?" " Yes, standing right in plain sigl before me, partaking deeply and carelesi ly of the dreadful intoxicating glass." There was a little pause, when tli 1 young lady suddenly said : "Edward, -was he standing right i front of you ?" "Yes, pet,"was the reply." There -was another pause, when tlI vonncr ladv asked a era in : "Edward, don't most of the fashioi able saloon counters have great ni< mirrors right on the walls behind them Edward flushed a little and looke quizzical as he replied that he '4 believed they did. And here he permitted the subject I drop. A Kiss. | 1' A kiss," says a writer, " is a seal e: ; pressing a sincere attachment ? tt pledge of future union?a present takii; i the impression of an ivory coral press! crimson balsam for love wounded hearts. Wo had no idea, says the NorristoTY Herald, that a kiss, when dissectei would prove such a simple thing. In agine a young man, as he bids his gi adieu on the front step at three o'cloc a. m. on Monday, darting back, as she i about to close the door, to snatch son 1 "crimson balsam for a love wound* heart." And a girl might ask her lovi ; for some of that balsam right before tl 1 old folks, nnd they would think it was i now kind of gum drop. Fashion Notes. j j 's ! The catogftn is going out of vogue. > i Debeges are shown in small figures. 1 Plain debeges will not be fashionable. n ! Nets are worn only with morning coif-1 I fures. Fashionables coiffures are broader and 1 wider. e ; Diagonals will 110 longer be worn in | spring fabrics. ; The pendant is now the principal part ^ 1 of the brooch. i Braid and fringe were never so much I ,e I in favor as at the moment. is Buckles of lophophore feathers are n ; among the bonnet trimmings. > ! Process ball dresseB, with peacock 1 t- trains, are the style this season. y i Narrow fur borders are still Been, but j I they are not so fashionable as broad ones. | |. Lend colored plush jackets fitting close ,g to the form nre taking the place of seal j in Paris. j Chenille cords and bands of plush are | j. very stylish new trimmings for hats and I ig bonnets. 1 ? ,i ?i???/i 1 A~ 1 llllltriiu tJliC^XVO v.71 Uijltio IUIU j g white and navy blue and white appear in j >r the spring goods. 11 ( The latest style of evening gloves ore I laced, instead of buttoned, and are finish-1 l? ed with small silk tassels. ,Q The most fashionable garnitures for j ' i ball dresses for married ladies arc feath- j ' I ers, stones (jewels of gems), and lace, e Ball dresses are made low necked, U j i- i necked, or V necked, or heart shaped, or i i. square in the neck, according to fancy, l- i The dresses seen at the New York ie | charity ball wera all in the plain-overs, 1 the-waist-and-liip style, and elaborately :e j trimmed around the bottom of the skirt, 'd , Married ladies wear rich laces as garuie itures for ball dress, Young ladies wear ,e tulle, crepe, tarlatan and organdy, trimmed with garlands, bouquets, knots, d , and fringes of flowers, nt pleasure. ,j ' The new percales show a variety of I _ colors?mixtures of ink-blue and cardinal i J ; red; brown and myrtle greeu, gold and j white, and cretonne designs in small lig- i ures on grounds of the dark colors. The Greek coiffure is formed thus: The front hair in waved bandeaux, low 1_ i over the brow, with a few short curls or ;n crcvc ceucr locks on the forehead and 3r i temples ; around chignon of coques and n braids from which droop a few short }r curls. This chignon is banded across . -8 ( the middle with a ribbon or golden band, j. and another band is placed over the ' lf bandeaux in front. it, Frank LchUc'h Ladies' Journal tells g us that a Russian lady of wealth and m ! beauty luus introduced a fashionable senIt sation in Paris. She has temporarily Fe given up driving horses in her carriage, is j and appears daily in the Champs Elysees j and Bois de Boulogne in a low brake, to which are attached four donkeys in scarlet trappings. She holds the ribbons 1 herself, and, it is said, that the donkeys 3f \ are as tine as Egypt could produce, so ; that she has no difficulty in keeping pace k j with the most rapid horse-drawn carriage, Y while her "cattle " are as high stepping ir and showy lis any of her rivals. :e J .1 ! ^ ; A Matrimonial Machine. to | Parson Dean, who married Mary Knox 10 | to somebody in Carmel, N. Y., lias, it is s, : understood, invented and constructed a 101 machine for his office which marries ?, > visitors and takes their photographs si1-! multaneonsly. John Merritt insists n j that he hasn't been married to anybody; >s j the parson is not quite certain who officii-1 ated as bridegroom; Mary Knox is all ie| adrift, and lias dragged her alleged hus(e | band to court; but the new machine will " j fix futnro identity beyond a doubt. The a : candidates, haviug made known their >r ' wishes, are admitted to ,an unoccupied jo | room, where each is firmly seized by the :o j arm and ankle, and backed calmly, but a ! irresistibly against a headrest upholster; n j ed on the wall. There is now no chance 11 for either to escape. In this position >r the bridegroom unconsciously steps on a :e lever, which swings a camera into posit j tion at the other end of the room. 1-! The parson hereupon enters, assumes ! n an easy but vigilant position at the camit : era, and takes out his watch. The fols, | lowing trialogue ensues: d Parson?" You desire to be united in r- the holy bonds of matrimony ?" r- N. M.?"We do." ;e Bridegroom?" Can't you loosen these k', mauacles a moment ? They pinch." ; le j Parson?"I regret say inability to ac- j i- ! cede to this request. It is my only pro it i tection against fraud. Please remove 1 >e j your veil, madam. Join right hands. | i, Look steadily at this nail in the parti- j i- tion. Smile tenderly. You do solemnly i it I promise to love, wink as much as you're j a mipd to, cherish and protect the peri son, don't stir, whom you now hold by 1 the right hand, steady, steady, never a ; mind the fly, as long as you both .shall j live; therefore, iu the presence of these ie witnesses, don't twitch your car, sir, I ir j pronounce you man and wife. ' Twenty!' , Time up. Very well done." j ' The parson then politely touches the jj. i lever and releases them from the trap. Ho writes the certificate on the back of : the photograph, and files away the ) negative. Parson Dean doesn't mean to - | be caught out again.?New York Sun. ,i ?^ a j A Constitutional Amendment. )r Representative Maish, of Pennsylva-; j nia, introduced in the United States! . | House a constitutional amendment em- j j bodying a rather cumbrous but ingenious ; 9": plan for dividing the mass vote of a State | | for President by the number of electoral 1 , votes possessed by the State, and creditn j ing to each candidate his sluire of the [ electoral votes ot sucn state onuimwi on i the basis of the electoral average reached ! by the division of the mass vote. For 1 j example, let the mass vote of New York ; , be 1,000,000; this divided by thirty| three would, in round numbers, give 30,000 as the electoral average. The Hayes , vote divided by this average would have i i(, ; shown sixteen electoral votes for the Re- j publican candidate, and the Tilden vote j . I so divided would have given the remain- i ing seventeen votes to the Democrats, i The plan has at least the merit of insur- j 1 ing a certain recognition to minorities. I I Invincible in Pence: Invisible in War. le, 9 ig The authorship of this aphoristic wit? ticism has generally been attributed to " the Hon. lien. Hill, of Georgia, who re n cently applied it, on the floor of Con- j 1, j gress, to the present day. The merit of j a- it belongs to the late Capt. George H. rl' Derby, better known by the nom dc \ 'plume ol "John Phoenix." When stais tionrd at San Francisco he was invited le to a public dinner given by a company ; id of State militia. Being called upon for j sr a toast, though a guest, he could not rele press his love for Bntire, and accordingly j a gave: "The California Militia?Invin-j I cible in Peace; Invisible in War." % FARM, GARDEN AND HOUSEHOLD. Rulen For Grading Grain. ^ The rales agreed upon by the Produce ! j Exchange of New York city, relative to 1 , oats, rye, barley and peas, are as fol- j low: Oats are divided into the following ; classes: Extra white, extra, and rejected. Extra white and extra are divided \ into four grades. Extra white oats are to I weigh thirty-two pounds to the bushel; j No. 1 white, twenty-nine pounds ; No. 2 white, twenty-five pounds,and No. 3 shall i be mainly white. The weights of extra { oats and Nos. 1 and 2 of the same class I are to be thirty two, -twenty-nine and ' twenty-five pounds to the bushel respect- j ively. No. 3 specifies all merchantable : oats unfit for No. 2. Rejected oats are damp, unsound, dirty, or for any cause unfit for No. 3. No. 1 rye must be sound, plump, and well cleaned. No. 2 rye must be sound, : rensonably free from other grain, and ; reasonably clean. Rejected rye includes i nil damp, musty, or dirty rye, or that which for nny cause is unfit for grade j No. 2. | Barley is put into four clnsses?Cana- j dn, State, Western and Rejected Extra, \ and No. 1 Canada must weigh not less j than forty-eight pounds to the bushel. j No. 2 and No. 3 Canada barley are not measured by weight, but by soundness and cleanness. State barley is divided into six gradee?four of "four-rowed" a'ud two of "two-rowed." Western bar-! ley is divided into three grades, No. 1 to , weigh forty-eight pounds; No. 2, forty-six pounds; and No. 3 forty-one pounds to j the bushel. Rejected Western barley is that which is damp, musty, or from any cause is badly damaged or largely mixed with other grain. Peas are divided into Nos. 1, 2 and 3 White Canada. A resolution was adopted that as so-called " no grade " corn had j so much improved in condition that for some time past exporters to Europe had taken it in preference to " steamer " at a fraction of a cent below the market value of "steamer," and as that repeatedly both grades had sold in open market at the same price, and as a very large proportion of new com now graded "no, grade" might properly be included in; the grade of "steamer," therefore; ^sent classification should be modified, j Fnnn TodIch. ! The rules for letting farms on shares vary- in some respects in different parts of the Union. As a general rule the agreement is in substance as follows : The owner turns over his farm, dwelling, T)arns, etc., to the tenant on the first day of April, with what manure may be on his place. The tenant agrees to furnish the team or teams to do the work, as well ns all the farm implements that are necessary. He also furnishes half the seed anil half the cows, pigs and poultry to stock the farm, and agrees to keep the fences in repair and to work out or pay the road tax. He is to have half of all crops, and half of the butter, cheese, milk, pork, beef, eggs and poultry produced. But in regard to the owner's half, there should be a plain stipulation how he is to receive it?whether to be delivered to him, or he to come and get his part at the farm. If delivered by the tenant, he would be entitled to some com- J pensation for the delivery. The team ] used to do the work is allowed to be pas- i tared and fed from the undivided hay 1 and grain, and the tenant should be al- j lowed a garden large enough to produce i his green vegetables only. The owner < pays the taxes. If anything is needed 1 not contemplated when the bargain was ' made, each must pay half the expenses, as < moro manure than was on the place, more 1 cows, swine, ctc.; but both parties must I acquiesce in obtaining these extra articles, ] as neither party can demand of the other \ anything not in the contract. When extra j work is done, as ditching, making new 1 fences, etc., it is best that the agreement i be put in writing, as some men's mem- 1 ories are not very accurate. In brief, 1 let the contract cover everything; but 1 bo liberal to the poor tenant, as he will 1 generally perform a great deal of hard < work for a small compensation. 1 Bitter {'ream. i Cream becomes bitter by keeping it 1 too long before it is churned. A butter < maker says: " In summer there is little 1 bitter milk or cream, because the cream 1 is churned sooner than in winter, seldom 1 reaching the third day. Sometimes, 1 where there is a single cow kept, I have | known the bitter to show on account of i the srnaJl quantity of cream accuraulat- I I ing. The summer practice is reversed 11 in the winter. There being too little j < milk to require frequent chumings a 1 week?we account readily for the evils c complained of. The fore part of the sea- t son, when milk is in greater quantity, 1 necessitating more frequent churning, I c hear of but little complaint. It matters L not how good the feed is?if the tender- ! 1 est hay and roots are added, making an j 1 approach to summer feed, nor how clean jc the milk is kept, the most perfect milk 11 if set beyond three days will be hurt, j ( The writer of this has filled the vessel, ; 6 leaving barely space enough for a cloth j s to be stretched over without touching '8 the milk, and a snug lid put on, keeping j1 the air out, but all to no purpose. So, j 1 in the purest air, iu all the temperatures, j 1 it is the same." : ^ 11 Oincnt for Crnokert Hoof*. , j Mr. Defay has discovered a prepara-;c tiou by means of which sand cracks or , c fractures in hoof or horn may be durably j cemented up. Even pieces of iron can . be securely joined together by its means, i ' The only precaution necessary for its | successful application is the careful re-; t 1 _r ?11 ^e n fa nf cfll nm. 1 _ LL1UYU1 U1 ail ^ICUOC 1/jr tJ^UAWM . | mouia, sulphide of carbon, or ether. 1 Mr. Dofay makes no secret of its com position, which is as follows : Take one i part of coarsely powdered gum ammonia- j cum and two parts guttapercha, in pieces j the size of a hazel nut. Put them in a tin lined vessel over a slow fire. Before the thick, resinous mass gets cold, mold ; it into sticks like sealing wax. The ce meut will keep for years, and when re-j quired for use it is only necessary to cut ; off a sufficient quantity and remelt it immediately before application. j ; Strawberries and Fruit Tree*. If you have not mulched your straw ; berry beds don't fail to do it before the snow goes off. February, March and | April are the times that try the plants. 1 It is the thawing that kills. Put on a I * * " * ? > a? j ; * DIlWlKet 01 marsii nay or cieuu airuw, ium t leave on all that the plants can get e through in the spring. To keep the t ground moist anil the berries clean, a ? covering of about two inches or just enough to cover the plants from sight. t Keep an eye to the rabbits ; pay the ; boys ten cents each for every one they t kill. If you have trees in danger of in- i jury by tlieni,. wind the bodies with newspaper, or cut a rabbit in pieces and rub | f the bodies and limbs with the fresh blood and meat. Tramp the snow lirm about i I your trees to keep off the mice, i 1 I Ancient Gardens of Michigan. At the Inte meeting of the Michigan A Pioneer Society in Lansing, Mr. Bela 8 Elubbard, of Detroit, read a paper on the I 'Ancient Gardens of Michigan." The 11 irst descriptions of the remains of these 5 gardens, he said, was made by School- 5 :raft in 1827. Tliey are relics coeval, ap- j jarently, with mound building. John ( a I1. Blois, in 1839, again mentions them, rad a later writer mentions them as being " 'ound along the shore of Lake Michigan. I E [n Cass, St. Joseph and Kalamazoo j J jounties these garden beds have been j A nimerously found. They consist of bedB j rom five to fifteen feet wide, sixteen to i j me hundred feet long, and about eight- J q ;en inches high. These beds are regu- j j arly arranged, with paths between them, j md while some are as narrow as five feet, j )thers are as wide as sixteen feet. Mr. 1 j\ ETnkV>o?./1 Vio/1 nliorta Vfinrpsontinff the ! rr 'ormsof these beds, -which he explained to he audience. Some plats have been drawn , i>y Schoolcraft. He Pays the plats upon , j which these beds are found are from : g ;wenty to three hundred acrcs in extent, j gardens of this kind were found by the , t jarly settlers of Cass county, Kalamazoo, | Prairie Ronde, Burr Oak, and mnny ' )thers. Old settlers pay that the beds I which they have se> n arc about five feet \ I wide, and'nre regularly lnid out through-, a jut the plats. There have been found sight different kinds of beds ; most of ( Jiem are rectangular, some circular in I :orm. These beds denote some species e )f cultivation, and were undoubtedly the c work of people who inhabited the country ( prior to the Indians. The Indians cul- j ( ;ivated only maize, and this was not ( jrown regularly in rows. Historians j ;ell us that the Aztecs had gardens, in which they cultivated various plants for I nedicinal uses, as well as for ornament. | Was there not something analagous to ;his in the Michigan natives ? Did the .atter also have botanical gardens ? These j jxtensive indications of ancient culture J j lecessarily imply a settled and populous ! * immunity. All testimony agrees that ilmost none of the usual aboriginal relics : t were found, no pottery, no spears, no ; ? irrow heads, and no implements of stone, | not even the omnipresent pipe. Tumuli; t 31' burial mounds of the red man are not j c mcommon, though not numerous, in western Michigan,but have no recognized ^ issociation with the garden race. There j i ire no traces of dwellings and there is i ^ lothing to indicate their homes. It; seems strange that these garden beds . 'hould be the only remains of a people ij who inhabited and cidtivated the earth, f [t is evident that they were peaceful, and ! X) some extent cultivated, civilized, and j scientific peoplo. The date of the aban- j c ionment of these beds may be deter-1 c nined to some extent by the age of trees j * which have grown upon them. One ja writer finds that a tree grown upon one of , ;hese beds was over three hundred years i e :>ld, but how long they were abandoned j t jefore the tree started cannot be known. I rhe tools used by them were evidently ! t if wood and have decayed, and every- i :hing relating to them must be left to ! ^ conjecture. ] - ! f Explorations in Florida* < The New York Herald prints a letter from its correspondent in charge of the ex- j ' ploratious in the wilds of Florida, describ- i ^ ing, his progress and discoveries. A ' 1 rast area of the peninsula has been, up [ 1 to the present, a terra incognita to civilzed man, and the utmost exertions of < explorers have hitherto failed to lift the t i-eil of mystery that has hung over that j strange land Since the days of Ponce j :le Leon, who sought on the shores of :he "Land of Flowers" the mystical ] fountains the perpetual youth, the nt-! ( most interest has been manifested in de-1} :ermining the physical character of I, Florida. But few have been tempted to I brave the terrors that were found to sur- | round investigation, and explorations [~ were limited to the coast line terri- I :ory, which proved, with the eicep- i ;ion of the northern sections, to be ;he only habitable portion of the State. Now, however, there is a prospect that 1 we will become acquainted with the na;ure of the interior?its vast swamps, mys- f serious rivers, great forests, and even 1 :he ancient monuments left by the long ;xtinct races that peopled its area. Dur- j f ng the Florida war, when the dusky ' c varriors of Osceola fought so stoutly J t igainst their white enemies, scattered j 8 J08ts were established by the United i t States army for the purpose of maintain ' ng communications between the occu- 1 \ lied districts, but many of these have ; t ong ago lost every vestige of interest ex- I 'j :ept that attaching to their names in con- ! \ lection with snnguinary combats between ' c ;i\Tlizatiou and barbarism. Following ' he direction marked by a singular col- ! ^ lmu of smoke whicl^was observed by the i j. sorrespondent to rise from some unknown : j ource in the interior the expedition j j jliuiged into the wilderness uf vegeta- | * ion that clothes the country, and sue- j seeded, eftermuch exertion and wading . lirough deep water, in reaching an island [ " >r elevated ground surrounded by v iwamps. There were discovered some ? itrange an-i ruueiy carveu iuusf.ua ui itone, evidently erected by a prehistoric '' nee as idols. With u description of these i n ve also find that of the " sinks," or singuar points of disappearance of the rivers h vhere they enter 011 subterranean courses i S o reappear again in other places. The o lark haunts of the alligator and venom- j p >us snakes, the bear, the panther and the 1 n leer are grapliically described. j 1< j6 )epression in the Iron Trade Abroad j In Germany the capital invested by j a liirty-two of the largest iron and steel | If manufacturing companies in that conn- i " rv amounts to ?78,035,000, and the net tl oss, exclusive of interest and deprecia- y ion in the value of property last year o vas 81,794,000. Only six of the com)anies paid any dividend, and the most ortunate of these six was one cf the j imallest, which divided 6 2-3 per cent, jj Che Prussian mining and iron company, tl >f Dusseldorf, with a capital of $2,700,- tl )00, lost $605,000 on last year's opera- 0 ions, and 8215,000 on those of the year g )efore. The net loss of the thirty-two t< :ompanies in two years has been 82,770,)00. If misery loves company, here is j i )lenty of it. (l Curiosities of Life. J; Lay your finger on your pulse and f mow that at every stroke some immortal f >nsses to his Maker; some fellow being j f rosses the river of death ; and if we j v hink of it we may well wonder that it i v hould be so long before our turn comes, j Half of all who live die before seven- j o een years. j I Only one perron in ten thousand lives j b o be a hundred years old, and but one 1 v n a hundred reaches sixty years. v The married live longer than the j o ingle. % | i>. There is one soldier to every eight e arsons, and out of every thousand born i c linety-tive weddings take place. i c Indignant Polly Wog. . tree toad, dres?ed in apple green, at on a mossy log tesido a pond, and Bhrilly sang \ ; Come forth, my Polly Wog? ly Pol?my Ly?my Wog, ly pretty Polly Wog; 've something very sweet to say, Ty xlender Polly Wog! 'The air is moist?the moon is hid lehind a heavy fog. 10 stars are ont to wink and blink .t you, my Polly Wog? ly roi?ray .Ly?my ?og, ly graceful Polly Wog; lh, tarry not, beloved one! ly precioufl Polly Wog!" ust then away went clouds, and there .-Hitting on the log? 'he other end, I mean?the moon * ho wed angry Polly Wog. ler small eyes flashed?she swelled until Ihe looked almost a frog; 3How dare you call me, sir," she asked, ' Your precious Polly Wog ?" ' Why, one would think your life was spent M n some low muddy bog; 1 'd have you know, to strange young toads. " ly nn'ae's Miss Mary Wog." )ne wild, wild l&ngh that tree toad gave ind tumbled off the log, id on the ground he ki eked and screamed )h, Mary, Mary Wog ! )h, Ma! oh, By! oh, Wog! )h, proud Miss Mary Wog ! )h, goodness gracious!?what a jofce! iurrah for Mary Wog!" ?Mrs. Margaret Eytinge, in Scribner't. Items of Interest. When a man takes a bull by the horns lis chance of getting over the fence is a oss np. He?Whooze sweet ? She?Boaf of is. He?Whooze plum pudding is oo ? She?Ooze. Success don't consist in never makiiig )luuders, but in never making the eame >ne the second time. The bishop of Lonsdale's directions for he way to heaven : " You have only to urn to the right and go straight forvard." The California friends of Dr. W. H. rones, who went thence to Australia, lave received letters saying that he had t )?en eaten by New Guinea cannibals. The Athenians erected a large statue >f JEsop and placed him, though a slave, '*? ? Inafi'nnf nadaatnl tn filinw that tllfl 'U tv XUOliilig |/vt.?vuw*j ?W ? ?. .. v&y to lionor lies open indifferently to I kno ov people so fond ov contradik.liun that it would not surprise me at all o hear them disputing with a gide joard about the distance to the next own. Women have often successfully hid valuable s in their hair, and a young French lady lately found a thousand ranc note in her deceased mother's shigiion. Monsieur reads the paper to madam : ' Another crime! a woman cut in pieccs." Madam (-quickly)? "By hpr husband ?" Vfonsienr (innocently)?"Who else ,?ould you expect ?" The Grand Duke Nicholas threatened o shoot a number of Russian officers who isked either for the opening of the campaign or that they should be sent into proper winter quarters. " What are you fencing in that lot for, Pat ? A herd of cattle would starve to leath on that land." "And sure, your lonor, wasn't I fencin' it in to kape the joor bastes out ov it ?"? In a dilemma?The bachelor who renarked that "he never would marry try woman he didn't respect, and he ertainly couldn't respect any woman vhowas willing to marry him." A lady who assumes to know how boys jught to be trained, writes as follows : ' Oh, mothers ! hunt out the soft, tender, jenial side of your boy's nature." Mothers often do with an old shoe. General Newton has just finished plans or erecting a new bridge which is to toss the Hudson at Peekskill. It will )e one magnificent span of 1,680 feet, md the floor will be 165 feet above the vater. Worcester Press: "Young people riio bet kisses on the result of the elecion needn't necessarily wait till March. Lliey can liave tnem now aim me uuo ilio loses can pay when the matter is deided." The Doylestown (Pennsylvania) Inteligencer says that " after nil there is no teat like that from a hickory -wood fire." foil wait awhile, adds the Detroit Frcas Tircsi?, hickory wood is nothing to it, and lie Bible says so. Mrs. Lonisa SleCall, of Canton, Oliio, as been chosen director of the bank of rliich her late hnsband was president, nd is the second female national bank ireetor ever chosen, Mrs. J. M. Brad ?t, ot jreona, in., chubwu uvu go, being tlie first A large lot of Mine will be sold out liortly to close an estate in Georgia. lOine of it was bottled in 1796, and none f it is likely to sell for less than $25 er bottle. How this simple announcelent will cause thousands of those fel)ws who traveled with Sherman in 186*4to weep over their carelessness. "Grandma, do you know why I can 2e up in the sky so far ?" asked Charlie, little four-year-old, of the venerable idy who sat on the garden seat, knitting. No, my dear; why is it ?" " Because ;iere is nothing in the way," replied the oung philosopher, resuming his astronmical search, and grandma her knitting. Courbet, the man who has been conemned for murdering a woman in the tne Taitbout, in Paris, to twenty years' nnmonnmarif linn nHilrPRSPfl a letter to lie president of the court, imploring liat the sentence should be changed to ue of death. He declares that a person uilty of such a crime as his is not worthy 3 live. This is how Offenbach dedicates his ook to his wife, Herminie Offenbach: ' You have desired that I should make a ook from these letters written at odd imes. This is the first sorrow you have aused me. Still, I bear you so little ll-will therefor that I dedicate you this olume, not for what it is or may be .-orth, but because I love to write everywhere my esteem and affection for you." The cunning that seems to be a part f insanity is illustrated in the killing of Jrskinc Jiarrett, a keeper in the insane aylnm at Northampton, Mass. He as found with his throat cut in the ,-ard of which he had charge, and one r more of eight maniacs did it; yet it > impossible to ascertain the facts. Sevral had Hood marks on their hands or lothing, but all deny the deed. Of ourso there is no moral responsibility.