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2 WW11W1 MISS j ^fwiLUAM <^?kRmnces I 1 (Copyright. by K? CHAPTER IV. 8weetheart and Partner. Billy was sitting quietly In the big lawn-swing when his aunt, dressed for the street, finally came through the front door. "I am going uptown, William," she eaid. "I want to buy you some things that you may go with me to church Sunday. Have you ever been to Sunday school?" "Naw'm; but I been to pertracted meetin','' came the ready response. "I see Sanctified Sophy shout tell she tore ev'y rag offer her back 'ceptin* a shimmy. She's one 'oraan who sho' is got 'liglon; she ain't never backslid 'tall, an' she ain't never fell f'oni grace but one time?" "Stay right in the yard till I come back. Sit in the swing and don't go outside the front yard. I shan't be gone long," said Miss Minerva. His aunt had h? dly left the gate before Hilly caugh' sight of a round, fat little face peering at him through the palings which separated Miss Minerva's ya'-d from that of her nextdoor neighbor. "Hello!" Bbouted Billy. "Is you the bad little boy what can't play with me?" "What you doing in Miss Minerva's yard?" came the answering interrogation across the fence. "1*8 come to live with her,'" replied Billy. "My mamma an' papa la dead. What's yo' name?" 'Tm Jimmy Garner. How old are you? I'm most six, I am." "Shucks, I's already six, a-going on seven. Come on, le's swing." "Can't," said the new acquaintance. "I've runned off once today, and got licked for it." "I ain't never got no whlppin' sence me an' Wilkes Booth Lincoln's born." boasted Billy. "Ain't you?" asked Jimmy. "I "spec* I been whipped more'n a million times, my mamma is so pertic'lar with me. She's 'bout the pertic-larest woman ever was; she don't, 'low me to leave the yard 'thout I get a whipping. 1 believe L will come over to see you 'bout half a minute." Suiting the action to the word Jimiuy climbed the fence, and the two little boys were soon comfortably settled facing each other in the big id U'OWlUg, "Who lives over there?" asked Billy, pointing to the house across the street. "That's Miss Cecilia's house. That's her coming out of the front gate now." The young lady smiled and wave< her hand at them. "Wi.'r she a peach?" asked Jimmy. "She's my sweetheart and she is 'bout the sweilest sweetheart they is." "She's mine, too," promptly replied Billy, who had fallen in love at first sight. "I's a-goin' to have her fer my sweetheart, too." "Naw, she ain't yours, neither; she's mine," angrily declared the other little hoy, kicking his rival's legs. "Tori ,?V7 time talking 'bout you going to have Miss Cecilia for your sweetheart. ?he's done already promised me." "I'll tell you what," proposed Billy, "lemrno have her an' you can have Aunt Minerva." "I wouldn't have Miss Minerva to save your life." replied Jimmy disrespectfully. "her nake ain't no bigger'n that," making a circle of his thumb and forefinger. "Mi s Cecilia, Miss Cecilia," ht> shrieked tnntallzlngly, "is i my sweetheart." "I betcher 1 have her fer a sweetsoon as ever 1 see her," said Billy. "What's your name?" asked Jimmy : presently. "Aunt Minerva says it's William j Green Hill, but 'tain't, it's Jest plain; Ililly," responded the little l?oy. j "Ain't God a nice, pood old man."! remarked Hilly, after they had swung in silence for a while, with an evident desire to make talk. "That he is," replied Jimmy, enthusiastically. "He's 'bout the forgivtngest person ever was. I just couldn't get 'long at all 'thout him. ft don't make no differ'nce what you do or how many times you run off, all you got to do is just ask God to forgive you and tell him you're sorry and ain't going to do so no more, that night when you say your prayers, and it's all right with God. S'poslng he was one of these wanta-hls-own-way kind o' mans, he could make hi'self the troublesomest person eVer waa, and little boys couldn't do nothing a tall. I sure think a heap of God He ain't never give me the worst of it yet." "I wonder what he looks like," mused Billy. "f s'pec' he just looks like the threeheaded giant in 'Jack the Giant Killer,' " explained Jimmy, " 'cause he's got three heads and one body. His heRds are name' Papa, Son and Holy Ghost, and his body Is just name' plain God. Miss Cecilia 'splalned It all to me and she Is 'bout the splendidest 'splalner they Is. She's my Sunday school teacher." "She's goin' to be my Sunday school teacher, too," said Billy, serenely. "Yours nothing; you all time want my Sunday school teacher." j "Jlmmee!" called a voice from the I interior oI the hooaq in ih? Bflt mm wmvA m nd ? GREEN IlIU) Joyd Calhoun illljr & Brltton Co.) I "Somebody's a-calltn' you," s&ld Billy. iuai urn t uouuuy out inauiua, explained Jimmy composedly. "Jlmmee-ee!" called the voice. "Don't make no noise." warned that little boy; "maybe she'll give up toreckly." "You Jlminee!** his mother called again. Jimmy made no move to leave tho swing. "I don't never have to go 'less she says 'James Lafayette Garner,' then I got to hustle," he remarked. "Jimmy Garner!" "She's mighty near got me," he said softly; "but maybe Bhe'll get tired and won't call no more. She ain't plumb mad yet." "James Garner!" "It's coming now," said Jimmy dolefully. The two little boys sat very still and quiet. "James Lafayette Garner!" The younger child sprang to his feet. "I got to get a move on now," he said; "when she calls like that she means business. I botcher she's got a switch and a hair brush and a slipper In her hand right this minute. I'll bo back toreckly," ho promised. He was as good as his word, and in a very short time he was sitting again facing Billy In the swing. I "She Just wanted to knc^w where her embrold'ry scissors was," he explained. "It dont matter what's lost in that house. I'm always the one 1 that's got to be 'sponsible and all time gui w> go lOOK ior 1L " "Did you find 'em V asked Billy. "Yep: I went right straight where 1 I left "em yeste'day. I had 'em trying 1 to cut a piece of wire. I stole oil and went down to Sam Lamb's house ' f\t!s morning and tnoI:or bron i: f?s*. j with him and his old wjuiun, Suko.y.'" ' he boasted, I *' "I knows Sunt Lamb," sold Bid; . . > "I rode up on the bus with him." I ^ Nfh no pariuer, reuiarKou ,umn:t j "He's mine, too," said Hilly, quick- a iy. o "No, he ain't neither; you all tiro?- 1 talking 'bout you going to have Sans h Lamb lor a partner Yr?i want every- ji il.ing 1 got. You want Miss Cecilia. ,c and you want Sain Lamb. Well, you <' .'as! ain't a-going to hare 'em. You , ?s, got to got somebody else for your part- l ner and sweetheart." ?P^ "Well, you jest wait an' see." sail I IMIly. "I got Major Minerva." ' i "Shucks, they ain't no major nume' ? f. that away." and Jimnty changed the j r object."Sam Lamb's sow's got seven. : < Mttle pigs. lie let me see 'em suck." j 1 said Sam Lamb's partner proudly. 1 "He's got a cow, too; she's got the .' worrisimest horns ever was. 1 be- 4 lieve she's a steer anyway." "Shucks," said the country hoy. enn- ? temptuonsiy. "You do' know a steer i when yon see one; you a&n't milk no : steer." < CHAPTER V. i < Turning on the Hot*. i "I>ook! Ain't that a. snake?" 1 shrieked Billy, pointing to what < | looked to him like at big snake coiled < I in the yard. | j "Snake, nothing!" sneered his comI panlon, "that's a hose. Toe all time i s?ot to call a hose a snake. Come on, i let's sprinkle," and Jimmy sprang out ; of the swing. Jerked up the hose snd ' i dragged It to the hydrant. "My mamI ma don't never *low me to sprlhkle I ' with her hose, bat Miss Mlnsrva she's 1 so good I don' reckon shell care," he | cried mendaciously. | Billy followed, watched his com pan- | 1 Ion screw the hose to the faucet and ; turn the water on. There was a hissing, gurgling sound and a stream of water shot out, much to the rapture of j . j a.Uhislicd T!l";\ 'SHfcfev- L3 ' -: . - <\9 ilJHH THE LANCASTER NEW! \voni Aunt Miuerva carer asked, anxiously. "Is she a real 'llgtou3 'oman?" "She Is the Christlanest woman they is," announced the other child. "Come on, we'll sprinkle the street? and I don't want nobody to get In our way neither." "I wish Wilkes Booth Lincoln could see us," said Miss Minerva's nephew. big, fat negress, with a bundle of clothes tied in a red table cloth on her head, came waddling down the sidewalk. Billy looked at Jimmy and giggled; Jimmy looked at Billy and giggled; then, the latter took careful aim and a stream of water hit the old woman squarely In the face. "Who dat? What's yo' doin'?" she yelled, as Bhe backed off. "I's a-gwlne to tell yo' pappy, Jimmy Garner," as she recognized one of the culprits. "P'int dat ar hoBe 'way fom me. 'fo' j I make yo* ma spank yuh slabslded. I j got to git home an' wash. Drap it, I ] tell yuh!" Two llttlo girls rolling two doll I buggies in which reposed two enormous rag-babies were seen approaching. "That's Lina Hamilton and Frances Black," snid Jimmy, "they're my chums," Billy took a good look at them. "They's goln* to be my chums, too," 1 he said, calmly. "Your chums, nothing!" angrily * cried Jimmy, swelling up pompously. 8 "You all time trying to claim my ^ chums. I can't have nothing a tall * 'thout you ?ot to Btick your mouth in. 8 tfou 'bouE the selfish est boy they is. You want everything I got, all time." 8 The little girls were now quite near * and Jimmy hailed them gleefully, forgetful of his anger: "Come on, Lina, you and Frances." * he shrieked, "and we can have the l mostest fun. Billy here's done come to live with Miss Minerva and she's ione gone uptown and don't care if * we sprinkle, 'cause she's, got so much 1 llglon." "But you know none of us are allowed to use a hose," objected Lina. " "But it's so much fun," said Jimmy; c 'and Miss Minerva she's so Christian c ihe ain't going to raise much of a rough house, and if she do we can 1 -un when we see her coining." "I can't run," said Billy; "I ain't 4 ?ot nowhere to run to an*?" ^I~ It "It ttint ain t jurt liKe you. Hilt*," j nterrupted Jimmy, "fell time talking | , lout. ytm ain't got r.owfccre to run to; 1 ou dont: want nobody to have no fun. 'ou 'bojt the picayunest boy they Is." i ' Little Ikey Rosenstoin. better known s "Goose-Grease," dressed in a cas> d ff suit of his Mcr brother's, with his ll ather's hat set rakishty back on lirs " icad and over his ears, was coming b iroudly down the street sonic distance B .ff. "Yonder comes Goose-Grease Rosen- 1 c tein." said Jimmy gleefully. "W'lien A le gets right close le's make btei v top." "All right," agreed Hilly, his goed " uiuui r?Buir?u, i? a uapuze nun " food." tl "Oh, we can't baptize him," ex- * Maimed the other little boy, "'cause ? ie's a Jew and the Hible says not to miptizo Jews. Tou Rot to mesmerize * em. How come me to know so a ouch?"* He continued condescendingly. H 'Miss Cbcilla tenched me In the Sun- * lay schooL Sometimes I know so t much E (eel like I'm going to bust, c 3he teached me "bout 'Scuffle little ? :hillens and forbid them not,' and "bout Ananhis tolled Sapphlra he dbne It y with his little hatchet,' and "bout a 1 'Lljalk Jumped over the moon tn a ? automobile." I know everything what's i In the Bible. Miss Cecilia nam Is a t cracker-jack; she's 'bout the stylish- ^ est Sunday school teacher tbey Is." **"Twaa the cow Jumped over the t moon," ssld Prances, "and It isn't in < the tUhle. It's In 'Mother Goose.' " 1 "And Elijah went to heaven In a chariot of fire," corrected Lina. * "And I know all 'bout Qabr'el," con- < tlnued Jimmy, unabashed. "When folks called him to blow his trumpet he was under the haystack fast < asleep." {key was quite near by this time to l command the attention of the four i children. "Let's mesmerize Goose-Oreaae." yelled Jimmy, as he turned the stream i of wntor full upon him. I SAPRIL 1015. . *Tancea, Llna and Billy clapped heir hands and laughed for joy. With a terrified and angry shriek heir victim, dripping water at every itep, ran howling by his tormentors. 1 Vhen he reached a safe distance he I urned around, shook a fist at them j ind screamed back: "My papa Is going to bave you all irrested and locked up In the calaboose." "Calaboose, nothing!" Jeered Jimmy. 'You all the time wanting to put somebody in the calaboose 'cause they mesnerise you. You got to be mearnerzed 'cause it's in the Bible." A short, stout man, dressed in nest black clothes, was coming toward hem. "Oh, that's the major!" screamed Jllly delightedly, taking the hose and squaring himself to greet his friend bf the train, but Jimmy Jerked it out bf his hand, before either of them noiced him turning about, as if for lomethlng forgotten. "You ain't got the sense of a onebyed tadpole. Billy," he said. "That's diss Minerva's beau. He's been lovng her more'n a million years. My namma says he ain't never going to narry nobody a tall 'thout he can get Miss Minerva, and Miss Minerva she ust turns up her nose at anything hat wears pants. You better not iprlnkle him. He's been to the war ind got his big toe shot off. He kilt bout a million Injuns and Yankees ind he's name' Major 'cause he's a -onfed'rlt vetnin. He went to the var when he ain't but fourteen." "Did he have on long pants?" asked 3111y. "I call him Major Minerva?" "Gladys Maude's got the pennykeeters," broke In Frances iinportanty, fussing over her baby, "and I'm jolng to see Doctor Sanford. Don't 'ou tninK she looks pale, Jimmy?" "Pale, nothing!" sneered the little >oy. "Girls got to all time play their lolls are slok. Naw; I don't know lothlng a tall Tiout your Gladys daude." Llna gazed up the street. "That looks like Miss Minerva to ue 'way up yonder," she remarked. "I hlnk we had better get away from lere before she sees us." Two little girls rolling doll buggies airly flew down the street and one Ittle boy quickly climbed to the top A the dividing fence. Prom this safe rentage point he shouted to Hilly, vho was holding the nozzle of the >ose out of which poured a stream of vater. "You'd better turn that water off cause Miss Minerva's going to be nadder*r, a green persimmon." "1 do'^know how to," said Billy forornly. "You turnt It on." "Drop tho hose and run to the hyrant and twist that little thing at the op," screamed Jimmy. "You all time ot to purpose sotneplng to get little oys In trouble anyway," ho added unenerously. "You perposed this yo'self," de lnred an indignant Billy. "You said .tint Minerva's so 'ligious she -ould'nt git mad." "Christian woman's can get just as lad as any other kind." declared the ther boy, sliding from his perch on he fence and running across the lawn o disappear behind his own front tops. Holding her skirts nearly up to her :nees Miss Minerva stepped gingerly Jong the wet and muddy street till he got to her gate, where her nepiew met her, looking a little guilty, ut still holding his hoad up with that :haracterl8tlc. manly air which was o attractive. "William,"' she said sternly, '1 see' rou have been getting Into mischief, ind I feel It my duty to punish you, o that yes may learn to be trustvorthy. I said nothing to you about he hose because I did not think you vouia Know bow to us* it." Billy remained silent Ho did not rant to betray his little companions >f the morning, so ho oald nothing In lis own defense. "Come with me Into the house," continued his aunt, "you must go to bed U once." But the child protested rigorously. "Don't make me go to bed In the daytime. Aunt Minerva; me an* IViIkes Booth Lincoln alnt never went to bed in the daytime since we's born, in' I ain't never hear tell of a real llglous 'oman a-puttin' a little boy In bed 'fore it's dark; an' I ain't never a-golng to meddle with yo' oie hose no mo*" ? I V\\ Vv X. 1? ? .<#r? .? ?%>***'* But Miss Minerva was obdurate, and the little boy spent a miserable hour between the sheets. (Continued In Next Issue.) GRIPPE. The angels gathered in heaven. And Satan came also. And Satan said: "Let me afflict mankind with germs of grippe." And it was permitted him. And a curious angel turned to Satan, and aBked: "Why have you selected this particular germ as your ally?" 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