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x PIOXEN, ,d 'H, CAAOdi NA TuShing a lawn mower is the opph site extreme from joy riding. Baseball slang--in Japanege must be something weird and appalling. Herewith approaches the joyous sea S011 when a man's keys rust in his pockets. No man Is a her6 to his valet, and no "iatinee idol is a hero to the lead ing lady. A violoncellist was dismissed from a New York show because she would not kiss a man-In public. The lussian scientist who says .rables can be cured by eating beetles fails to announce a cure for eating beeltie. "An Ithaca (N. Y.) doctor wishes to ,have placed in every public school the %tatue of a1 perfect man."' Married or single? A hottle conitaining a one dollar bill %vas carried :':, Iil les by sea. But it didn't get within reaching distance of New York. R-rv a few swats for the mos. 'luift-s that are coining, although all well-directed ones should be applied 1o house flies. A Missouri judge vules that it Is lawful for a man to spank his wife. So, also, is it lawful for him to thaw out dynamite. An Ohio couple have parted because the wife likes Paris, while the hus land prefers Cincinnati. And again 'thc eagle screams. A California man who has lived for Ciglht years on nothing but m1ilk has gone insa ne. Somen milk would have done the job in half that timie. The directors of the Panama exposi ition are offering a prize of $1,000 for a rose. Now, then, you amateur gar deners, here's a chance. Get busy. A $100,000 chair is to be endowed 'in a western university for the btudy of psychic phenomena. This ought to Igive the spirits a ghost of a chance. Now some one has started an idea in England that all mnent should wear whisfers because the king sets the fashion. Still he isn't so handsome. V A lBrooklyn woman who sued a man jfor kissing her has secured damages in the amount of six cents. The man hvo got the kiss must feel pretty ,chea)h Another aviator has come to an in timely end, but there will he twenty foolhardy young mna ready to take his place. Aviation, in spite of its fatal ities, hais comne to staly. The latest fashion prevailing among t'he womuen of the lPrlin aristocracy is to have theiir puortr'aiis ptainted while they sleep. A rare opplort unity3 to catch the lips in repose. It is hin ted I that severail Of the an tiquei( booJ~ks sold at file 110e sale were nlot genuine. We htave no doubt, how.' Oeer, tha 1 they103 will makel{ just as good reading as tile or'iginalls. A western nature wizard has been grr-fting alfalfa roots on strawberry plants. Now the blame laid on the e'arly imported strawberry can be Placed where it belongs, A woman's stocking rips and she ~oses $2,000 worth of (diamonds. After reading, or, rather', viewing the "adls" In the popular miagatzines thle occur rence wvould senm impossible. *A Philadelphia cook on being dis charged is said to have tried to poison fthe whlole family. She night have had {as' deadly revenge by staying Onl and continuing to cook for them. Miost wvomen fall in love with dare ~devil men, declares a western college professor. That's thle reason why men who are Dot afraid to be seen pushing baby carriage on the street are mar fried. A Philadelphia wvomian threw a veil over a marble Cupid thle other day and threatened to proseculte the own er. WVe have no doubt that the lady !was modest enlough to utter veiled ~th reats. Th'lree dliscovp'ries of April 26, 1911, . iare the (curIe of rhleumatirm by r'e mornval of' the tensils, the prevention of hydrophobia by eating a beetle p'nd the * restorat ion of speechl and he 9ng by beming lilt by an automobile. All are ipractical. The frequency of exlioions in a quarry flanking a far'myard near Tar trytown led the (lucks to savo their bearing by covering their 1en' s with *their webbed feet. The mule was the most pronounced failure among the imitators'. A C!ncinnati veteran has been lay ing away a dime a month1 ever since -, Lincoln died, and, this mnth he will spend the accumulation, nearly $250, in entertaining the mnembers of his old regl'rgent on the 50th anniver sary of their'en1istmer.t. This will be eone of the odd 'e lebrationd of the 0Rz1-cen. tennial f t e ,w NEW LEADER C ;ervett as such until 1908, when ho N af the international union. He retui ,iuest of the miners, be again accepted has just relinquished to assume the White was married to Miss Ida Betl parents of four children. The coal inines of Iowa made J equal veracity that John White has ae the miners aro concerned. Until organization was little better than r prospered an(d thrived until the miner $1,000,000 for (ho rainy day. SNOW AMBASSA The post of ambassador to Russia Is one of the most important in our di iplomatic service, owing to the in terplay of Russian and American in terets in the far East and to the grave questions affecting trade and politics wihich are constantly arising in that far-off region of the Orient. Our new ambassador to( Russia, former Governor Curtis quili of Massachusetts, was selected for this difficult Post because of his recognized ability and his broad compreliension of American interests. Mr. Guild is a native of Boston. v graduate of Harvard and of Genev university and is the wearer of sey oral university degrees. As a youn man he entered the omee of the lus ton Commercial Bulletin, founded b; his father, worked himself upwar into the editorial chair and in 190 became sole owner of' the papei Through his newspaper experience ho became interested in iolitles an in several campaigns toured the cot party. In 1900 ho was the compan the west. Two years later he waE chusetts and served three years, w governor, in whioh post he served Since 1909 bis time has largely (he Spanish-A merican war he ser'ved general on the staff of the Sevent ut il the break-up of the corps in C port of the inspector general of the as it was his to do away with this at all to do with the game itself. to have the presence of more wvom de~sireO, and wvhich tre will do our uti our patrons."' SSENATOR TILL Senator Ben Tillman, his pitchforli at rest, is back on his asparagus farn nmear- Trenton, S. C. '"I look in th( glass and see the old Ben," he said the other day to one who had in (Iuir-ed about his health; "then I fim I am not worth a dl-n." The senator is not far astray. Tjid rugged form and face are apparent3 the same as ever. There is still flickering of the old fire in his singi< eye. But his physique is a hollov shell. Nouie of his family refers tF his failing health, nor do visitors men Lion it. Senator Tillman hates the idea o: death. ".Just when I'm getting red: to live I've got to die," he complainet to a friend recentif. And yet whil< apparently the hand of death is clos to him he' is planning for the ftuture The other day he directed the setting out of a new vineyard. It adjoins the kitchen garden, in which Mrs. Tillnma with a weeding hoe. She is a fine,i that she'd a good deal rather work at holding ip her social end in Washin a perfect jungle of japonlicas, paimet daffodils, all nf her etting out. IA WF THE MINERS John P. White of Oskaloosa, Iowa, has become president of the United Mine Workers of America. The at tainment of this high position is a tribute to perseverance and integrity, for John White, at the age of two was an orphaAi and at the. age of thirteen was a mule boy in the adnes of Lucas county, helping support a mother and brothers and sisters. White was born a stone's throw from the mouth of a coal mine in Coal Valley, Rock Island county, Ill., February 28, 1870. He was the young. est son of Joseph and Catherine White. After his father died the family, in 1883, moved to Lucas .county, where John entered the mines. He has been actively identified with the United Mino Workers since 1899, when the movement was fragmentary. He was chosen secretary-treasurer of District No. 13, a positioni he held until April 1, 1904, when he was chosen president. of the district. lie 'as unanimously elected vice-president 'ned to Iowa, and, at the earnest re the district presidency, which he duties of the higher office. In 1890 iold of Burlington, and they are the :hn White, and it may be said with made the coal mines of Iowa, so far White took charge, District No. 13 othing. Under his leadership It had a of this district now have more than DOR TO RUSSIA mintry in the interests of the Republica lon of Roosevelt in a stumping tour c elected lieutenant governor of Massf hich were followed by his election a three terms. been taken up with business. Durina as lieutenant colonel and as inspecto hi corps, under General Fitzhugh Lee uba. Ils work was praised in the re army. WNS BALL CLUB While not slighting the men fans 'ladles first" Is practically to be th< motto andl slogan of baseball's newes and most novel figure, the "lady owvn ce'," who is personified by Mi's. Helem IHathaway Itritton of Cleveland, owin cer of the St. Louis National league. Mrs. Ilmritton has taken charge o the affairs of the club. She is no entirely a novice in baseball, as shi conmes of a remarkable baseball fanm Ily. I1er father was the late Fran1 Del-aas Robison, owner of thi Cleveland SpidIers and later the SI Louis club, and now she succeeds he uncle, the ,late M. Stanley Robiso1 owner of the club, in assuming cor trol of Its dlestinies. "The women, girls and children ar to be catered to in League park, says Mr's. Biritton, "and for that re& son the elimination of the liquor ba from the park remains perpetual. M; uncle established that rule for thmi reason, and It is my wish as' strongl; feature of baseball, which has nothini In the absence of the bar we expec m and children, a result we earnestl; nost to maintain to the pleasure of al MAN NEAR END /// n, in sonbonnet and apron, was at war' notherly woman, and the plain truth I riong her flowers and vegetables than b gton. Tho big house sets baek -behiri toe, purple and yellow atile of ri .n 01. ELEPHANT OBCTS TO THE COLIC DOP BEAST COUGHS THE MIXTURI -NTO THE KEEPER'S FACE AND ALMOST STRANGLES HIM. New York.-When Head Keepe Billy Snyder of the Central Par zoo went into the pen of Hattie, tbn . trck: elephant, with her breakfast ane Was not greeted by the usual litt "qx~eal of welcome he knew somethin Was-wrong. Then he noticed that he head was hanging and her trunk drag ging listlessly 'on the ground, am when she answered his greeting mere ly 'by a lack luster glance his minj 14~ Coughs Up the Dope, was made up at once. "Clover colic, Snyder answered to Diretor John M Smith. "Poor old Hattie's got it an Is swelled up like a dirigible. I gav her a bale of fresh clover yesterda; She needs medicine." Snyder looke into his prescription book and prett soon decided that the proper thing fo Hattle's insides was a dainty litt Mixture of one-half gallon, of linsce oil, two ounces of laudanum and t, quarts of spiritus frumenti, the la being, according to Mr. Snyder, ju plain whisky. But Hattie doesn't 1In booze. So they had to chain her fe and hoist her head with a block at tackle and when she opened h mouth for a wisp of hay Snyd poured the mixture down her thron Hattie coughed once when the ml ture was half way down, and, in tl words of the song, "The blow almo killed Billy," for he received about pint of the mixture in his eyes at was blown clear off the barrel c which he was standing, but outside this Hattie gave no trouble. Hatt swallowed enough, however, to cha away the colic caused from clove and about an hour later was goli through her tricks with Billy Snyd for the children as if nothing out the ordinary had happened. 3 PHONOGRAPH CALLS CO% Ingenious Wisconsin Boys Make ti Machine Do Work While They Play Checkers. Milw"aukee, Wis.-IDuys whose ma idea is to avoid work are full of I ventive genius wvhen it comes to matter of getting something or som body to (10 their work for them. Tv boys lIving in the rural districts northern Wisconsin through ingenul prompted by laziness made a phon graph do their work for t hem. Th( used the machine urtil they had b come tired of the canned songs at then put it asidle andl amusedl thez selves playing cheokers. Tfhe~y foui that doing the chorea seriously lntE Call Cows With Phonograph. Pfered with the game. One of the remembered that impressions sound could be made on blank recor Trho ingenious one called into the m chine "Come, boss; come, boss." Th: put the machine in the pasture ax turned it loose. They resumed the checkers and the cows came home. Teacher Kills 27 Snakes. Indianapolis, Ind.--Mary Jenkins, young Posey county school teache in the afternoon recess recently we attracted by the frightened screan of her pupils. Rushing out she four them standing in excited groups tai Ing about snakes they had seen the school yard. Miss Jenkins four the grass fairly alive with bla( snakes. She seized a poker and shovel and beat thenm right andl I Some showed fight, but with the shai egd of the shovel the teacher cut c their heads. With the poker she kej them from harmIng her. The lgi was short and swift. At the' finish dead reptiles was the score. "U" WIll Probe GraftIng. New York-A gift of $10,000 annux ly from an anonymous donor for sur leial research work is announcedl Columbia ''university. Another gift of $15,000/ a year "for the establs nent am~ 'maintenance of a bureau r'omote scientifle investigation of Jo -:n i a en tinir 44 .,Z1Y,1 OF 04/1,A I MPORTANT recommendations to the Smithsonian Institution are made by Jesse Walter Fewkes re garding the treatment of the na tional reserve created in northern Arizona by order of former President Roosevelt under the name of the Na vaho National Monument, in which imany important prehistoric ruins are to be found. Dr. Fewkes was sent by the bureau of American ethnology to d examine these dwellings of the y ancients, and his preliminary report, which is now being published, sug a gests: d That one of the largest two cliff 0 dwellings in the Navaho National it Monument, either Betatakin or Kit it siel, be excavated, repaired and pre 0 served as a "type ruin" to illus t trate the prehistoric culture of the d aborigines of this section of Arizona. )r That this work be supplemented by ir excavation and repair of Inscription t. House, an ancient cliff dwelling in X. West Canyon. e That one or more of the ruins in st West Canyon be added to the Navaho a National Monument and be perma - ently protected by the government. Dr. Fewkes describes in detail the three routes by which the cliff dwell le Ings Mhay be reached, tells where wa ter may be had for men and horses and outlines improvements that would make the road more passable for tour er Ists. of Find an instructive Specimen. One of the most instructive speci mens collected in the Navaho Nation al Monument was found by W. B. Douglas in a ruin designated as Cradle Febuse. This object is a cradle made ~*of basketware, open at one end and continued at the opposite endl into a biped0( extension to serve for the legs. It is decoratedl on the outside with an arc hatic geometric ornanhentation. This specimen may be regarded as one aof the finest examples of prehistoric Sbasketry from the southwest; more over, wvith one exception, it is the only known cradle of this form. A pair of ~'infant's sandlals foundl with the cradle leaves no dloubt as to its use; wvhile ythe character and symbolism of the decoration refer it to the ancient cliff house culture. The (design suggests that which chairtterizes certain speci dmens of the well-known black-and 'white pottery found in the San Juan drainage. Evidences of long use and rep~air appear, especially on one side. Unfortunately the specimen, although entire when found, later was broken across its mniddle. The only other known cradle of this typo was brought to the attention of Iethnologists by Dr-. WV. J. McGee when in charge of the anthropologipal ex hibit at the St. Louis exposition. This was found in San Juan county, Utah. "The Navaho National Monumient," - writes Dr. Fewkes, "contains two kinds of ruin, cliff dwellings and p)ueblos. The architecture of the cliff -(dwellings is characteristic, their walls being constructed of stone or adobe built against, rarely free from, ver mn tical faces of the cliff. Two Types of Kivas. ."There are two types of kivas, one a' circular andl subterr-aneanl, allied to 'i those of the Mesa Verde; the other d rectangular, above ground, entered rfrom the sides. "The masonry of these northern ruins is rude, resembling that of mod ern Walpi. The component stones are a neither dressed nor smoothed, but the ' walls are sometimes plastered. There L5 is a great similarity in architecture. 's No round towers relieve the monotony d-or impart picturesqueness to the build 'ings. The walls of ruined pueblos in Sthis region an'd the ceramic remains k closely resemble those at Black Falls, kon the Little Colorado. A prominent a feature of the walls is a jacal construc ttion in which mud is plastered on E' wattling between upright poles, The ends of many of these supports project >t hiigh above the ground, constituting a t characteristic feature of the ruins. This method of wall construction is unknown' at Black Falls or dt -Walpi, but still survives in modified form in one or more- Oraibi kivas and in one at least of the Mesa .Verde ruins, "Naturally the questions one asks tin regard to these ruins are: Why did inhabitants build these cliffs? .Who vere the ancient inhabitarntd? When c *cro these dwellig inhabited arnd "Tt is commonly believed that the caves were chosen for habitation te. cause they could be better defe ed than villages in the open. The ancients chose this region for i.heir homes on account of the constant wa, tAr supply in the creek anil the patches of land in the valley that could be cultivated. This was a de. strable place for their farms. Had there been no caves in the cliffs they 9 would probably have built habitations in the open plain below. May Have Been Harassed. "They may have been harassed by marauders, but it must be borne in mind that their enemies did not come in great numbers at any one time. Do. fense was not the primary motive that led the sedentary People of this canyon to utilize the caverns for shel. ter. Again, the inroads of enemies never led to the abandonment of these great cliffhouses, if we can impute valor in any appreciable degree to the inhabitants. Fancy, for instance, the difficulty, or, rather, improbability, of a number of nomadic warriors great enough to drive out the population of Kitsiel, making their way up Cataract canyon and besieging the pueblo. Sueb an approach would have been impos. sible. Marauders might have raided the Kitsiel cornfields, but they could not have dislodged the inhabitants. "Even if they had succeeded in cap turing one house, but little would have been gained, as it was aeu ofhA. Pueblos to keep enough foo instore ' .. to last more than a year. In'this con. nection the question is pe'tinent. While hostiles were besiegirag Kit. siel how could they subsist~ during any length of time? Only with~ the ut most dlifficulty, even with aidl of ropes andl ladders, can one now gain access to some of these ruins. H-ow could marauding parties have entered them if the inhabitants were hostile? The cliff dwellings wvere constructedl part ly for dlefense, but mainly for the shelter afforded by thle overhanging cliff, and the cause of their dlesertionlA' was not due so muchl to predatory. enemies as failure of crops or tihe dis-. appearance of the water supply. "The writer does not regard these ruins as of great antiquity; some oft the evidence indicates that they are' of later time. Features in their archi. tecturo show resemblances derived from other regions. Ruins Net of Great Antiquity. "The Navahoes ascribe the build-. ings to ancient people and say that the ruinced houses existed before their own advent in the country, but this was not necessariiy long ago. Such evidence as has been gathered .sup ports H~opi legends that the inhabi tants were ancient Hopi, belonging to the Flute, IHorn and Snake families. "There is no evidence that cliff. house architecture developed in these canyons, and rude structures older than these have been found in this regiori. Whoever the builders of these structures were, they brought their craft with them. The adoption of tihe4 dleflector in the rectangular ceremo. nial-rooms called kihus implies tihe (derivationl of there rooms from cir cular kivas, and ali indications are that the ancient inhabitants came from higher up San Juan river. "Many of the ruins in Canyon do Cholly, situated east of Laguna creek, show marked evidence of being mod. ern, and they in turn are not so old as those of the Mesa Verde, If the ruins become older as we go up the river the conclusion is logical that the migration of tile Sanl Juan culture was down the river from east to west, rather than in the opposite direction. The scanty traditions known to the author support the belief in a migra. tion from east to west, although there were exceptional instances of clan movementS in the opposite direction. The general trend of migration wonid. indicate that the ancestral home of the Snake and Flute people was ini Colorado and New Mexico." Friendly Tip. Sapleigh-Would you-er-advise - mo to-er-marry a beautiful girl or. a- kensible girl? ' 4 - Ham~mersley--I'mn afraidl you'll never be able to marry either, old man. Saplefgh--Why not? Hammiersley--Well, a beautiful girl could do better and a seneible girl would know bet, er.