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__ VIEWPOINTS J TH#%AMECOCK EDITORIAL BOARD Editor \ STEVEN VAN HAREN News Editor j JUSTIN CHAPURA Assistant News Editor ; JACKIE ALEXANDER j The Mix Editor \ ALEXIS ARNONE Design Director chas McCarthy Sports Editor STEPHEN FASTENAU Viewpoints Editor BRINDY McNAIR Assistant Viewpoints Editor AARON BRAZIER IN OUR OPINION Children have cooties, not sexual frustration Kids can’t be kids anymore; that notion is apparently as dead as common sense. A Massachusetts first-grader was suspended Jan. 30 for putting two fingers down the waistband of a female classtnate. Administrators called it sexual harassment. We call it a huge case of terminal idiocy ever. What’s next—charging grubby little boys with assault for knowingly spreading cooties? This is asinine. First-graders are programmed to pester each other mercilessly, especially classmates of the opposite sex. They fidget and poke and stick their lingers in weiru places. Granted, the boy should have been fmnished somehow—at east with a scolding, or maybe with a timeout in the corner. First-graders understand those kinds of punishments; they don’t even understand what the words “sexual” and “harassment” mean. The only person who understands the situation correctly is the boy’s (rightfully angry) mother, who now has to explain to her 6-year-old why he can’t go to school for three days. The crime? Being a kid in an increasingly politically correct society full of zero tolerance rubbish. The victim? The boy—not the girl, who had to endure countless seconds of minor discomfort before forgetting the whole thing and hopping on the monkey bars. If we’re wrong, send us the therapy bill. The precedent? That kids are hardened criminals whose previous offenses include spilling milk and wetting the bed, and whose thoughts are jam-packed with sexual domination via waistband penetration. That’s not to say that a boy pinching girl’s butts left and right doesn’t deserve a stern talking to, and in this case, the boy’s parents need to make sure he knows that unwanted touching is wrong. Shame on the school for turning a classic case of Troublemaker Syndrome into a capital offense. First-graders don’t even understand what “sexual” and “harassment” mean. IT’S VOUR RIGHT Voice your opinion on message boards at www.dailygamecock.com or send tetters to the editor at gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu ' CORRECTIONS In Wednesday’s News, Jonathan Ross should have been identified as the campaign director. Also, Steve Smith was seen once by the Election Commission. The Gamecock regrets the errors. If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know about it. E-mail us at gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu ABOUT THE GAMECOCK taitor STEVEN VAN HAREN Design Director chas McCarthy Copy Desk Chief AARON KIDD News Editor JUSTIN CHAPURA Assistant News Editor JACKIE ALEXANDER Viewpoints Editor BRINDY McNAIR Assistant Viewpoints Editor AARON BRAZIER The Mix Editor ALEXIS ARNONE Assistant Mix Editor KRISTEN TRUESDALE Sports Editor STEPHEN FASTENAU Assistant Sports Editor ALEX RILEY Photo Editor NICK ESARES Assistant rnoto Laitor KATY BLALOCK Public Relations Director ROSE GREENE Page Designers MIKE CONWAY, KATE FENWICK, MEGAN SINCLAIR StaffWriters AJ. BEMBRY, TOM BENNING, JESS DAVIS, TIM McMANUS, MARJORIE RIDDLE, GINA VASSELLI Copy Editors CAROLINE DESANCTIS, BETHANY NICHOLS, ELIZABETH PARHAM, KATIE THOMPSON, JAMISON TINSLEY, KRYSTAL WEMER, LIZ WHITE CONTACT INFORMATION Offices located on the thirdfloor of the Russell House Editor’s office hours are from 2-3 f.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays Editor: gamecockeditor@gwm.sc.edu News: gamecocknews@gwm.sc.edu Viewpoints: gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu The Mix: gamecockfeatures@gwm.sc.edu Sports: gamecocksports@gwm.sc.edu Public Affairs: gamecockPR@yahoo.com Online: www.daifygamecock.com Newsroom: 777-7726 ; Sports: 777-7182 Editor’s Office: 777-3914 STUDENT MEDIA Director SCOTT LINOENBERG Faculty Adviser ERIK COLLINS Creative Director SUSAN KING Business Manager CAROLYN GRIFFIN Advertising Manager SARAH SCARBOROUGH Classifieds Manager SHERRY F. HOLMES Production Manager C. NEIL SCOTT V THE GAMECOCK is the editorially independent student newspaper of the University of South Carolina. It is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in THE GAMECOCK are those of the editors or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher o/THE GAMECOCK. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper’s parent organization. THE GAMECOCK is supported in part by student-activity fees. One free copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $1 each from the Department of Student Media. 7^1?lp P«A*TN l A CAKIooN Ni>0V7 A^VU/H AVWP, IVOlJJ, «&“*" ||tj / vw ovt aw y HtLLAl^y... AKP A 01UU(*5 UOOK'KW Courtesy KRT Campus I say socialist, you say liberal, let's think first Words have different meanings, definitions from all perspectives So I’m a socialist. What does that mean? To many people, it means I support North Korea or China. To others, they think it means I support common ownership of the means of production. To a lot of Americans, it means they think I’m liberal. I still get a little shudder when that word is mentioned. To my acutely trained, European mind it sounds like Smith is my homie. Adam Smith and the posse (my cru, incidentally) cruise around opening free markets and overthrowing monarchies. Basically, the word seems to have lost any intelligent meaning whatsoever. You know who I think are liberals? The Republicans and the Democrats. Free market systems, republican ideals, freedom of religion, constitutional government — sounds like liberalism to me. Personally, I like limited markets with healthy control, a democratic system and no need for a constitution telling us what our inalienable rights are. Because a piece of paper telling you what you can do inalienably makes so much sense. So language is a living thing. Whoop-dee-doo. I’ll go party and change a word to confuse you. %'"V‘ M arguments in politics can K ^ the word BRAZIER ,marriaf( „ , had been left Fourth-year , r. to define a philosophy student church-based Christian union, then we could have said “civil union” for legal matters. Eang! There goes the problem of “gay marriage”! The government could allow for civil unions, the legal rights would be protected and right wing Christians would get snarky about nothing. Next stop: world hunger. Clarifying my original statement might help, then. Marx doesn’t own my evil, pinko soul. European socialism does, with its moderately high taxes, extremely cheap or free healthcare, well-run and subsided national transport, good unemployment benefits and cheap education. Yeah, ownership of the means of production my white English arse. Political correctness is another method of language annoyance. It was black, then African-American and now black again. The “n” word used to be offensive but isn’t between two black people. Tell me that makes sense. Sure, slang comes and goes, but language based on race? This quest for stupidity is incredible. Language is one of those amazing, abstract things that cannot be boxed. Words change meaning and flourish. Being frightfully gay a hundred years ago would have meant you liked to get drunk and have sex with a floozy. How few of us know people that refer to happy things as “gay”? It’s just not done. But “liberal” is still used in a certain way. The opposite, unsurprisingly, is not “conservative.” Conservative literally means you conserve an old way. Both Republicans and Democrats as a whole love the constitution. Frankly, a fight to the death between lovers of the First and Second Amendment might be amusing. iNO, conservatism doesn’t actually mean anything except in context. A conservative in Britain is pro-monarchy. I’ve heard some things said about King George III that makes me wonder if conservatives in America quite follow the same belief. And that’s why people should think before they speak. What one word means to you will probably mean something else to someone else. Be patient if there’s a misunderstanding and talk about it. Oh, and by the way, I’m still a socialist. IN YOUR OPINION Smokers aren’t out to get non-smokers This is in response to “Cough Cough!” by Valene Sims in Monday’s paper. Welcome to the real world! People here smoke. I’m very sorry that you dislike the smell of smoke or being around it, but if it’s so awful you should probably try staying away from it. No one asked you to walk through a “cloud” of smoke every day to enter Gambrell or Humanities; you chose to. There are multiple entrances to Gambrell that you may enter through if another is too smoke-infested for you. Also, people that smoke can read, so they know all about the side effects and bad things that can happen from smoking. We just don’t care. And we don’t need you, the concerned non smoker, to tell us about it. Thanks though. It’s a shame that as a third-year student here you haven’t realized people smoke outside (and you still say “yuck”) so suck it up and deal with it. Being a smoker myself I can tell you that we aren’t out to get the non-smokers, make them smell bad and give them all lung cancer by secondhand smoke. But maybe if you got out of our faces and left us alone you would stop coughing! KELLY GIBSON Third-year theatre student Submission policy Letters to the editor should be less than 300 words and include name, phone number, professional title or year and major, if a student. E-mail letters to gamecockopinions® gwm.sc.edu. Letters will be edited. Anonymous letters will not be published. Call the newsroom at 777-7726 for more information. Online Poll s~^r\ j Do you think the Rolling Stones were a for the Super Bowl Halftime YES 29% w 'ey* m _■ ^ * votes: 33$ Another year older; another year to wait for next year By 19, 20 birthdays not as important; it’s better to celebrate conception I would encourage anyone reading this column to quickly cancel all plans for the rest of the day’ It is time for a celebration the size of which has never been seen before. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, CHASE today is my STOUDMRC birthday. Second-year I haven t history had a formal student birthday party since 4th grade. If I recall correctly, that was the same year that I emerged victorious in a one man cake-eating contest by shoving my piece into my face. Birthday parties used to • be the single most important social event of your year — your one day to be a star. And during our teenage years, each birthday seems to have a special little tag, a reason to get excited. At 15, you’re old enough to work. At 16, you’re old enough to drive. At 17, you’re old enough to see an R-rated movie. At 18, you’re old enough to do all kinds of things your mother taught you not to do. And then we hit 19. If your birthdays were laid out on a map, 19 and 20 would be the geographic equivalent of the Grand Canyon. A great empty void, recognizable only for its lack of substance. Nineteen? Yay! Your age is no longer divisible by two! Twenty? Yay! Your age is featured prominently on one of the most common bills in American currency! Not only are they useless, they’re almost a tease — a little bit closer, but not quite there. The grownups sing “Happy Birthday,” while the child hears nothing but “one more year ... can’t drink beer ... one more year ...” T1 • • 1 • ^ -,1 111 I1UL Willing lillb column to encourage all of you to sympathize with me and dash to the store to buy me presents (though I won’t discourage it). I’m writing this column to propose a significant change to the birthday tradition. I don’t quite understand why we celebrate birthdays the way we do. We get showered with affection and gifts because something happened a long time ago that we are in no way responsible for. Not that I don’t like being showered with gifts, maybe we could find a more appropriate day to do it. Let’s be honest. Your birthday, the day you were actually born, consisted of several things — panic, fear, chaos and excruciating pain. Is that really something we want to celebrate? No! From now on we will celebrate a new holiday — Conception Day. The concept is simple. Birthday? Pain and suffering. Conception day? Not so much. Simply subtract nine months from your current birthday and you have your new, truly special day. Is this a radical idea? I admit it is. But I think we can turn this into something truly great. To those of you born on Nov. 10, 1986,, hsnnv mnrpnfinn rlciA/f