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Hating Clemson is only the start of earning your garnet-colored stripes Let Jake give you a few lessons on seat numbers, huge handbags There is an old sports saying that goes “with youth comes inexperience.” Of course this applies on the — field, but most people don’t realize this saying is just as relevant in the stands. — But don’t Jake Broom worry, young folks. Jake is Third-year looking out for political , r science you (my first third-person reference of the year — class can now officially start). Here is a quick run-down of what you need to know to be a Gamecock. Although most people ignore my suggestions, the world would be a better place if everyone listened to me. At least I think so. ♦ Seat numbers on student tickets mean nothing. Go get a pen, write that down and tape it to your forehead. I’ll say it one more time. Seat numbers on student tickets mean nothing. Every year I see students wandering around reading their tickets looking down the row and looking like somebody hit their dog when they realize people are already in “their seats.” If you want good seats, get there early. Or just send that one dorky guy that tags along to save your seats. It doesn’t really matter to me, but if you expect me to move when you stumble up during “2001” and tap me on the shoulder, we might have a problem. ♦ Yell when the OTHER team has the ball, but not when we do. It is good to be loud when the other team has the ball, but keep it down when we have it. If you can’t tell which team has the ball, whether it’s because of drunkenness or ignorance, don’t come to football games. ♦ The Wave is not cool. I don’t think I need to explain this, because the people that do the Wave don’t have the mental capacity to read a newspaper. One time I thought about joining the Wave, but then I impaled myself on the goalpost instead. I made the right choice. ♦ Dressing nicely is acceptable, but don’t wear strange colors. I can almost understand girls wearing pink at a football game, but every time I see a guy doing it, a little piece inside me dies. Our colors are garnet and black. White is always an option, but don’t be that guy wearing the plaid pants and the lime green shirt. I’m only looking out for you. ♦ Ladies: Please don’t wear giant hats. There just isn’t enough room around you to house a sombrero. Not only can people behind you not see over your giant dome, but I’m almost positive that I bruised a kidney at Homecoming last year trying to squeeze down the aisle for a Coke. Which leads me to my next point... ♦ If you don’t want people falling all over you, don’t sit in the middle of a row. Sitting in the middle of a row is fun, but it comes with a price. If you are one of those people who doesn’t like to be touched, or if you happen to be carrying some sort of giant purse, please sit next to the stairs. I’m not sure exactly what you’re carrying in those giant bags, but their weight is roughly equivalent to that of a small boulder. With those things in the aisles and goofy people trying to squeeze down to get a drink, it is a tragedy waiting to happen. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. ♦ And finally, the most important rule of all, hate Clemson. > I don’t care where you’re from, ' where your parents went to school or what led you to Carolina — hate Clemson. Not only should you pull against Clemson when we play them, but you should pull against them no matter who they are playing. There is no joke here, no stupid line to end the paragraph — just hate Clemson. Well, I’m glad we covered that. Maybe this will be the year that things go smoothly on game day. Maybe this year the only thing that will raise my blood pressure during a football game will actually be the football game. But I won’t get my hopes up. — Don’t miss Jake Broom’s regularly scheduled columns every Monday and Friday in The Gamecock Sports section. — ^f*“‘ ’ x> . ’' **«S£?$SP?*<&“' ' -'• *^ww«w«» ISUB£i!22^tfI#ll n A ■Hi ENTER THE GAMECOCK BATTALION AS A STUDENT, LEAVE AS A LEADER! REGISTER NOW FOR ARMY 101. i For details, contact Major Shane Ousey at 803-777-3639,1-888-825-9711 or Ousey@gwm.sc.edu j I I If you are interested in reporting, writing, editing, j public relations, advertising, photography, layout and design etc... : ... ■ ;. .. . ATTEND AN INTEREST MEETING: Monday, August 22 7:30 p.m. RHUU 322/326 or Wednesday, August 24 7:30 p.m. Ik RHUU315 (Sf) STUDENT MEDIA RHUU330 |. 803.777.3888 j www.sa.sc.edu/studentmedia § Steven Editor in Cnief, The Gamecock Summer 2005