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CD. Review Goofy gloom sinks AufDerMaur’ AUF DER MAUR AufDerMaur ★★ out of ☆☆☆☆☆ BY STEVEN VAN HAREN THE GAMECOCK After Dave Grohl started Foo Fightin’, Billy Corgan started and ended Zwan, and Courtney Love got “Mono,” it was only a matter of time before another alternative artifact followed the lead of her peers. Melissa Auf Der Maur, the slinking bassist from Love’s angst vessel Hole, has released her gloomy self-titled debut album — 12 forgettable songs decked out with too many cobwebs. According to Auf Der Maur’s Web site, she earned her “bache lor’s degree in rock” while doing bass duties for The Smashing Pumpkins on their last album and farewell tour. Apparently, she missed Album Psychology 101: Put your best foot forward at the start of an album. “Lightning Is My Girl” begins in high-energy guitars but falters from exces sively silly lyrics. “Followed the Waves,” the album’s first single and (unfortunately) the catchiest song, follows “Girl” but heralds the end of any pop sensibility on the remaining 10 tracks. Many ot tne intros ana outros are interesting ear candy, but every ensuing song kills the mo mentum. After the promising “Skin Receiver” lashes out with maniac drums into a demented giddyap, the song quickly be comes a boring ghost story of noise. Think Heart’s “Barracuda” with less sass. Only a few moments of uncon ventional record-making pique one’s ears. Listen for the surpris ing conclusion of “Beast of Honor,” a contrived ending that nonetheless grabs one’s attention. Her seemingly purposeful copy ing of the lyrics to Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid” at the tail end of “I’ll Be Anything You Want” is strangely interesting and adds much-needed intentional humor to the album. Without these sparse bells and whistles, songs such as “Real A Lie” and “Head Unbound” get lost in the noise. It is disconcerting when an artist must rely on parlor tricks to keep the listener interested. It is even more disconcerting when the hired hands that back up Auf Der Maur sound happier to be there than she does. uespne ner urana oi wncn ai fection, Auf Der Maur’s goofy im agery serves only to make one laugh, not hunt for deeper mean ing. Only on the lounge-fly paean “Overpower Thee” does emotion outshine her alphabet soup gib berish. Many of the tracks on “Auf Der Maur” blend seamlessly into one another in the same vein as Pink Floyd’s “The Wall,” a dark album that actually succeeds in mixing gloom and humor. If the continu um of the album was a silent hom age to Floyd, she clearly missed the mark. Even Love’s ex-hubby did it better on Nirvana’s super abrasive “In Utero.” With the recent success of brooding rockers Evanescence, Auf Der Maur must have seen a possible niche in the music mar ket for her debut album: the un smiling ghoul demographic. But even the least successful guitar playing shrews have some sense of song craft, and from the sound of this album, Auf Der Maur needs to go back to the School of Rock. Apparently, she was just copying off of that little Corgan boy. Comments on this story? E-mail gamecockfeatures@gwm.sc.edu England CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 tween Manchester United and the local underdog squad of Millwall. A man, looking in his mid-40s and having the build of a teamster, came over and started chatting us up. The gals I was with got up and went to the bar, leaving me alone with this char acter. He made several com ments on how good-looking my friends were, while I just smiled and nodded. And then he said he was at tracted to me. After making a quick but tact ful exit, one thing became clear. Just because you’re watching a game with your friends at a low key pub doesn’t mean you won’t get hit on by a guy that looks like he could play defensive line. Next week: My internship be gins. Butchies CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 thing,” York said. The band is playing two up coming pride festivals, one in Michigan and one in Seattle. The Butchies hope to contin ue building their audience, play ing larger venues and “tearing down those walls where people try to say we can’t make it be cause we’re three dykes,” York said. The most important thing on the band’s agenda right now is “getting home ‘cause we’re tired,” York said. Comments on this story?E-mail gamecockfeatures@gwm.sc.edu At The Movies Opening June 4: HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN-The pint sized wizard (Daniel Radcliffe) and his friends return to Hogwarts for another year of magic and adventure, this time dodging the evil influence of convicted killer Sirius Black (Gary Oldman) HHMnnvHn