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,, g THE GAMECOCK ♦ Wednesday, April 28, 2004 Online.Pol! T | ITTTT^/^ VTmOl t0 bepllt of the Carolina commu Should South Carolina extend I | J a [\ I I W m ■ ill " nity when other students are do the LIFE Scholarship to five | | ^ a / a / | | | | . ingthis.” years? || iVVI\/ \ RANDY DARGAN www.dailygamecock.com. ■ ■ A W a ■ X A a ■ Ps. J use college republicans chairm®||n Results published online. -"- 1 f W 1 ^ vandalism to the groups signs y In.Our.Opinion Taking signs not political USC’s College Republicans have recently complained their signs posted around campus have been torn down, a fact they attribute to liberal bias against the group. While some of the perpetrators of these acts might take the signs down as an affront to the group and what it represents as a gathering of conservatives on campus, the College Republicans are not alone in having their signs torn down from bulletin boards and on Greene Street. ^ Nearly any other group that posts announcements has experienced similar Aooiu'fnvione o ri fn nVioll/ if The trend towards up to hostility toward any destructive and group ignores the inane behavior predisposition of college that is often the students toward immaturity. hallmark of Indeed this trend toward college students , . .. .. . ... destructive and inane ^aroliM Creed* behavior that is often the hallmark of college students goes against the Carolina Creed and against everything an enlightened education is intended to instill in those who attend USC. The perpetrators who so ignorantly edited opinions that conflicted with their own exemplified the attitude that has caused problems on campus like the ZTA incident, and other similar situations that could be resolved by viewing them from a more educated perspective. College should be a time for students to learn that alternate concepts of the world must be analyzed for their merit instead of dismissed offhand and thrown away like a poster. ^uiivei stsiy, uob ui gcuiiz.cu.iuiK> nccu lu lcam mat part of being a responsible member of the college community is cleaning up behind themselves. After the advertised event or election, posters and fliers should be taken down in a timely manner, and not left for the custodial staff to remove. It is a sad comment on the state of affairs that posters remain from Student Government elections that happened months ago. 1 ._J Gamecock.Corrections A story in Monday’s News should have said that Kappa Alpha Psi has 23 members. The Gamecock regrets the error. If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know. E-mail us at gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu. AboutThe.Gameeock Editor In Chief Adam Beam Copy Desk Chief Gabrielle Sinclair Design Director Shawn Rourk Asst. Design Director Staci Jordan News Editor Michael LaForgia Asst. News Editor Alexis Stratton Viewpoints Editor Patrick Augustine The Mix Editor Meg Moore Asst. Mix Editor Jennifer Sitowski Sports Editor Wes Wolfe Asst. Sports Editor Jonathan Hillyard Photo Editor Morgan Ford Asst. Photo Editor Johnny Haynes Page Designers Erin Cline, Brad Senkiw, Mary Pinckney Waters, Chas McCarthy Copy Editors Allyson Bird, Jennifer Freeman, Jessica Foster. Steven Van Haren, Joel Wallace Wire Editor Z'Anne Coveil Online Editor James Tolbert CONTACT INFORMATION Offices on third floor of the Russell House. Editor in Chief: gamecockeditor@gwm.sc.edu News: gamecocknews@gwm.sc.edu Viewpoints: gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu The Mix: gamecockfeatures@gwm.sc.edu Sports: gamecocksports@gwm.sc.edu Public Affairs: gamecockpr@yahoo.com Online: www.dailygamecock.com Newsroom: 777-7726 Editor's Office: 777-3914 STUDENT MEDIA Director Scott Lindenberg Faculty Adviser Erik Collins Creative Director Susan King Business Manager Carolyn Griffin Advertising Manager Sarah Scarborough Classified Manager Sherry F. Holmes Production Manager Vacant Creative Services Whitney Bridges, Robbie Burkett, Burke Lauderdale, Paul Koska Advertising Staff Robert Carli, Kate Femino, Latoya Hines Caroline Love, Jesica Johnson, David Weatherford Public Affairs Kimberly Dressier The Gamecock is the editorially independent student newspaper of the University of South Carolina. It is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer, with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editors or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Studefl^^P Media is the newspaper's parent fln organization. The Gamecock is supported in part by student-activity fees. H One free copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $1 each from the Department of Student Media. IU rLAUt AN AU The Gamecock Advertising: 777-3888 1400 Greene St. Classified: 777-1184 Columbia, S.C. 29208 Fax: 777-6482 Yousio CHllCWN WHO WATCH TOO (Avc\4 Tv MaY FACe ATT£NT<o^-Pgf<CiT PftCTglgMSiEV SCHCXPu A6C_ tT J .-rrgp v^<2.y (v/fcetY// Vgr II (flj Using cliches is so last year Students across campus are torn between the anxiety of term papers and testing and the long awaited sweet reprieve of summer vacation. Many of you are pushing your brains to the point of melt down as you make one final ef fort; an ulti mate stand to ward a satis factory grade before basking in the bliss that is com plete mental “for, •~0W you all leave ”8*2" for vacation, I science student shall leave you all with one fi nal bit of advice — my parting gift to you, the loyal reader. Once you have been released from the bonds of academic ex ertion, though you may be tempted to simply forgo the use of your brain for a while, I must in good faith remind you that stupid is contagious. It is with this in mind that I will now divulge a little known fact: the use of certain phrases can actually make you stupider. The following phrases should thus be avoided until your brain is once again fully functional. “There is no ‘I’ in ‘Team’”: Wow, did you figure that out by yourself or was it a team effort? I am perfectly aware of the ab sence of the letter “I” from the word “team” without your in sightful commentary. It’s peo ple who come up with phrases like this that give the more clever variety of idiots a chance to add cute sayings like “but there is a ME!” They never bother to note any of the other anagrams of the word that would make equally as much sense. Meat, tea and eat are equally cute and much more amusing given the befuddled re actions of those you say it to. Imagine the expression on the faces of your colleagues when you wittily reply “There is no T in ‘Team,’ but there is ‘Meat.’” “Beautiful on the inside”: Have you ever seen someone’s insides? Let me assure you that there is nothing beautiful about it. This phrase is inherently stupid because the “on the inside” mod ifier makes it so that you can al most hear the implied “but atro cious looking on the outside.” If this weren’t so, then the person would simply be beautiful, with no modifiers needed. If you’re going to apply this phrase to anyone, you may as well go ahead and make fun of their mother too. While you’re at it, why don’t you throw rocks at them and set their pets on fire? Tater Tot: I’m convinced that with each use of this term, you lose no less than 15 IQ points. This term is especially danger ous because of its apparently festive allure. The term “tater tot” will bestow hours of festiv ities upon the whole family. It makes for a good snack, and provides lots of laughter for you and the kids; all the while making you a withered shell of a person with each usage. In fact, be very wary of any term that contains a “tater.” On a separate note, this being my last column of the year, I am inclined to dedicate it to Julie Sproules and Vanessa Poston, both of whom will be graduating this year. If you happen to run into them, be sure to congratu late them and give them pre sents (preferably shiny objects since everyone knows shiny stuff is frickin’ awesome). I guess the rest of you readers have been OK too. In.Your.Opinion Class evaluations wasting our time My least favorite time of the school year is here — the week before finals when I waste two hours of my life filling out those retarded teacher evaluation forms. Does anyone even take these seriously? All most of us do is fill in 5s down the page with those annoying golf pencils as fast as we can and try to avoid being the person who has to col lect them at the end. Instead, the evaluations should be posted on a Web site that students could access when picking classes. This would make students take them seri ously because we would be help ing out our fellow Gamecocks avoid horrible teachers. Do away with questions like “Was this teacher prepared for class?” or “Were assignments returned in a timely manner?” How about questions students actually care about like “Is this teacher going to make the mate rial interesting?” or “Is this teacher going to call on me when they know I don’t know the an swer?” I’d rather listen to the school marching band play the theme from Austin Powers over and over than waste my time writ ing something that will never help out my fellow students. PHIL GENTILE SECOND-YEAR SPORTS MANAGEMENT STUDENT t i ay Hppp Mt. Pleasant uppity, but still a nice place As much as I do enjoy reading Graham Culbertson’s hilarious yet poignant columns, I would like to clarify something I read in his most recent piece (“Tricks for Summer Fun,” Monday). He made a comment about “scum of the earth ... Mt. Pleasant resi dents.” I got the joke, and cer tainly am not offended. However, there are a good portion of USC students who don’t know about Mt. Pleasant and thus might develop a nega tive opinion of the town from Graham’s satirical comment. So as a proud Mt. Pleasant resident (or "Hungryneck”), I’d like to set the record straight for anyone who doesn’t know about our wonderful town. Across the river irum AJiariesion, ivu. rieasaiu is a blossoming suburban outskirt, now the sixth largest city in South Carolina. It boasts beauti ful marshes, excellent shopping and great folks. And, yes, there are some upper scale neighbor hoods (to explain Graham’s joke.) But still, Mt. Pleasant is a wonderful city and certainly warrants some credit. So next time you’re down in Charleston, don’t hesitate to jet across the Cooper and check out Mt. Pleasant. And, Graham, keep up the good work, my man. GEORGE STEVENS FIRST-YEAR PRINT JOURNALISM STUDENT Lawmakers should ignore some opinions I was taken aback when I read Ryan Holt’s column (“Majority supports Pledge in Schools,” April 19). There were many problems with his “argument,” but the one thing that really got me was the question he posed in the final para graph: “Why is it that if our repre sentatives in Congress accurately represent their constituency by voting to place ‘under God’ in a Pledge, then such a thing becomes a problem?” Mr. Holt claims to not have an answer, so I would like to offer one. Congress’ actions, regardless of whether the constituency is ac curately represented or not, be comes a problem when they are unconstitutional. Mr NTnnrHnur’c argument against the phrase “under God” being a part of Pledge of Allegiance is based on his belief that it vio lates the establishment clause. The Constitution does not only ap ply when the majority wants it to or finds it convenient, it applies uniformly all the time. LAURA LITWER FIRST-YEAR PHILOSOPHY STUDENT Submission Policy Letters to the editor should be less than 300 words and include name, phone number, professional title or year and major, if a student. E-mail letters to gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu. Letters will be edited for space, possible libel and style. Anonymous letters will not be published. Call the newsroom at 777 7726 for more information. Stagg’s forecast for next semester Welcome to the final issue of The Gamecock this semester. Throughout the year, I’ve done my best to teach you about the ways of the world: We learned that the English language is jacked up, that John Kerry is ugly and that “The O.C.” is still as addictive as crack. However, I’d like to take this op portunity to make some predic tions for the summer and fall semester. I’m warning you: Some aren’t pretty. 1) use’s foot ball team will have an amaz ing roster and be preseason ranked in the 20s. However, because of some »»V,DST.GG medfaarti will proceed to student hire and subse quently start Jesus Christ at quarterback - odd ly enough, a huge football fan—at the height of his popularity, decid ing to go back to school after his successful movie career. The Son of Man, as it turns out, can’t con trol a run-and-shoot offense, and after the first game, will suffer a record 13 sacks. The Gamecocks’ coaching staff will eventually come clean, claim ing their decision to start God “was all business” and that He was “bet ter for the payroll.” After the staff is informed that we all know NCAA athletes aren’t paid, they will clamor around before setting off a box of fireworks with a smoke screen as a decoy before disap pearing into the locker room. 2) I will marry Salma Hayek. There are to be no questions, and this is non-negotiable. 9\ Thn Unnofnn Aetivte urill win the World Series, Roger Clemens will win the Cy Young for the sev enth time and Jeff Bagwell will win the National League MVP. These really aren’t negotiable, either. The Cubs will still suck, the Yankees will continually lose to the Red Sox, and (yes, I’m going to say it) the Braves won’t make the playoffs. 4) Budget cuts over the summer at USC will be astronomical and will require the abolition of all bus es to save money. They will be re placed with donkeys to carry stu dents to class, but nearly all passers-by will just give up going to class and follow around the kids who actually use the new mode of transportation and yell, “Ride that ass!” 5) My roommate Jonathan, who is going on a trip to Spain this sum mer, will be in the right place at the right time and win a surprising (and unexpected) victory to presi dential office there. However, he will instead name himself “supreme dictator” and decide that Portugal would be a good place for his dogs to graze, and take it over as well. And after watching the in spiring movie “Master and Commander,” he will become con vinced that every man must suc cessfully launch a naval attack on some form of ship and decide to take over a small shrimping boat off the coast of Greece. This will ac cidentally lead him to successful ly commandeer the entire Mediterranean, but get sunburned in the process, be labeled a Communist and then be forcefully removed from office. He will turn to entertainment, and join Chris Pontius and Steve-0 on the hit MTV show “Wildboyz,” specializ ing in peeing on things. So as you can see, we’ve got quite the year ahead of us: J.C. coming back to play some NCAA ball, a crazed roommate taking over a country, and a campus full of asses to look forward to. Can’t wait to see you all next year. Winners.and.Sinners m BILL CLINTON Philandering ex-president gets a $10 million advance for unfinished book that comes out in June. NEW $50 BILL Further confuses convenience 1 store employees by adding red, blue and yellow to the green bill. INTERNET TAX BAN President Bush advocates prohibiting on taxing high-speed Internet. EXAMS They are the bane of every college student’s existence. DERRICK SHEPHERD Louisiana state representative’s proposed bill would fine those who show underwear, “skin" below the waist in public. CHINA Communist leaders nix idea of a democratic election for Hong Kong in 2007, proving nothing’s changed.