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The Quigmans by buddy hickerson t 1 a j M———————r i I - 1 " ... “It’s time to reveal that I’m part fish. This may explain why I might’ve flip-flopped on an issue ...” PAUL__BY BILLY O'KEEFE WWW.MRBIUV.COH SO WHAT HAtES VOU SUCH [A 6PaAT BOOMHATa?y~—■ BOB PINTZ, TRENT MACA, BENdf VESPER, LAWRENCE LOPRESTf... I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THESE , . PEOPLE, SORRY., MAV&c... do sou know WHAT THEV ACE? , ►fEBE.’l BROUGHT" Lj§ SOME BEfEBENCES.^F j Cfwiu-MaBdT I bO. do vexj ev£N knout^. UHAT gEFEgeWCES ACE? J /faifci 6'ftcus Count the syllables, thank you. ©200M 1-. ... .i 1 \ Slimbone By Mike Maydak ,1 O Affleck-Lopez bomb ‘Gigli’ takes Razzie dishonors as year’s worst BY DAVID GERMAIN the associated press LOS ANGELES - The honey moon’s over for Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, but their mob comedy flop “Gigli” really cleaned up Saturday at the Razzies, the first movie to take all six top tro phies in the annual dishonorable mention awards. Golden Raspberry Awards vot ers picked "Gigli” as 2003’s worst picture, Affleck as worst actor, Lopez as worst actress and the two as worst screen couple. “Gigli” filmmaker Martin Brest also took the Razzies for worst director and screenplay. “Gigli” hit theaters last sum mer amid the tabloid frenzy over ^Affleck and Lopez’s on-again, off Pagain wedding plans. They final ly announced in January the ro mance was off. The movie, which starred Affleck as a thug smitten by Lopez as a lesbian crime colleague, fell short of the record seven Razzies won by “Showgirls” and “Battlefield Earth.” “But those are much better bad movies, if that makes any sense,” said Razzies founder John Wilson. “If you sit through them with the right people or the right brand of liquor, they can be strangely en tertaining. “But I don’t care how medicat ed you are or what people you’re watching it with, ‘Gigli’ is just a pain in the posterior. It’s one of those things that is, as opposed to enjoyably embarrassing, it’s just skin-crawlingly embarrassing.” “Gigli” cost $54 million to make but earned back just $6 million. Among other "winners,” Sylvester Stallone padded his Razzie resume with a record 10th prize, this time for worst support ing actor in "Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over.” Stallone’s past Razzies in clude one for worst actor of the 20th century. With the 25th annual Razzies coming up next year, the group is considering a special career achievement prize for Stallone, Wilson said. In "Spy Kids 3-D,” “he plays five characters, so technically the whole supporting-actor category could have been made up of his performances,’’Wilson said. Demi Moore took the support ing-actress Razzie for her come back role in “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle,” which also was named worst remake or sequel. "She tried to come back, and we said, ‘No, thanks. We chased you away before. Go away again,”’ Wilson said. The storybook adaptation “Dr. Seuss’ the Cat in the Hat” won the Razzie for worst excuse for a movie. Another top nominee, “From Justin to Kelly,” was shut out in the awards balloting by the rough ly 600 Razzie voters. The group decided to give the movie — a spring-break romp fea turing “American Idol” stars Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini — a special “governor’s award” for distinguished under achievement in choreography. Crossword ACROSS 1 Book of fiction 6 Satisfy fully 10 Attention getter 14 Baker or Loos 15 Remove fat 16 Gwen Verdon in “Damn Yankees” 17 Summer ermine 18 Like gymnastics 20 Exercised authority 22 Danza film, “Going_!” 23 Come to regret 24 Take a chair 25 __Alamos, NM 28 Capture again 30 “_Get Fooled Again” 31 One of the Gershwins 32 Tavern quaff 33 Weaving or Black 34 Slithery fish 35 Postage 3b i_nnytnm 39 Vikinglike 41 Go wrong 42 Highest cards 44 Cut grass 45 Asian holiday 46 Certain 47 Ryan and Shaquille 51 Schuss 52 Full-house sign 53 Theater signal 54 Night flyer 55 Forget the past and start anew 59 Of the sky* 61 Defeated rival 62 “The Virginian" author Wister 63 “Typee” sequel 64 Dancing Castle 65 Cozy abode 66 Got up 67 Basil sauce DOWN 1 Racers'grp. 2 Recorded 3 Bluish purple 4 List-ending abbr. 5 Football plays 6 Governor’s domain 7 Foot structure * 8 Exhausts 9 Hamming it up 10 Greenspan or Ladd 11 Conrad Hilton, e.g. 12 Wallach of “Baby Doll” 13 Buddy 19 Keep mum 21 Easily misled person 26 Raw minerals 27 Mall happening 29 Battering device 30 “_Life Is It, Anyway?” 35 Fixes in position 36 Arduous journey 37 A and the 38 Apache leader 40 Be in debt 43 Museum manager 44 Wry face 48 Degrades 49 Dormant 50 Music system 53 Lover of Daphnis 56 Time of fasting 57 New Mexican art colony 58 Traditional wisdom 59 Inmate 60 Sheep-ette ' * © 2004Tribune Media Services, Inc. 03/01/04 All rights reserved. Solutions Qlilsl3ldB3lsl°ldB1lsl3lN JL H H jMi H H hBh J_ m H h 3 s oTliT v i i s 3 1 3 o HAH 1 JL JL±L1 Hi. j.1 op# i v app n olio a sMf x s " 1 Vp N 0Bl3 d 0 sll 3 1 pMO^IIs 3 oVBlid H 3 3 s alo TTB^i o £BBd~ mv i s 1 3 iMo 9 n H |3 1 m V H TMT N O V hJi 3 H s o i■! i sbdT n ¥■¥ d v OHHi.J.JiA a JL _v a OHO VBFT V O 1 s V 1 O T|p¥ I H Tf7 1 I N V 11| i|ii| B || I I B M M I1 'I11 Horoscopes ARIES You're in quite a predicament. Your emotions are raging, but you're having trouble finding appropriate words. You certainly don't want to make things worse, so just watch and listen. TAURUS You're smart, and you're building experience. Consult friends who are creative, but don't follow all of their advice. You're more practical, and that’s necessary now. GEMINI Money might be on your mind, but don't make it an obsession. It's not the most important thing there is. Don't be rude to a person who can't do anything thing for your career. You never know. CANCER You've got plenty of enthusiasm, but that might not be enough to get through to someone who thinks he or she already knows it all. Don't feel hurt; it's nothing personal. LEO Your passions greatly exceed your ability to express them, so take care. You don't want to scare away somebody who could turn out to be a very good friend or lover. Be gentle. VIRGO You won't have to wonder which are your fair weather friends, because you'll find out soon enough. Somebody who was only after your money is about to tip his or her hand. LIBRA There's plenty of responsibility, and the work looks interesting, but you might not see much income yet. Does this mean it's not valuable? Hardly! Just look at how much you're learning. SCORPIO Your sweetheart might be a tad argumentative, but otherwise, things are going your way. If you can wait out the temper tantrum, your patience could be well rewarded. SAGITTARIUS There's no way to avoid it—an investment is required at home. Something that's broken will have to be fixed, or else you'll get the cold shoulder. CAPRICORN You're in a rather feisty mood, and luckily you're smart. But don't be thoughtless and break a loved one's heart. And don't step on anyone's toes ifyoucanhelpit. AQUARIUS Working for money can be nice, and it's certainly necessary, but it can also be rather annoying when it interferes with your fun. That could happen, so stay calm. PISCES It'll be easier than usual to find the right words to express your love today. Truth is, you already know what to say. CALENDAR Today “THE GREEN MILE”: 8 p.m. Russell House Theater. “LOST IN TRANSLATION”: 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. Nickelodeon Theatre, 937 Main St. BAD BUSINESS WITH MAN AT ARMS, THREE THE HARD WAY: 7 p.m. New Brookland Tavern, 122 State St. $521+, $7 Tuesday “LONESOME WEST”: 8 p.m. Black Box Theatre, $5. “THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS”: 8 p.m. Russell House Theater “LOST IN TRANSLATION”: 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. Nickelodeon Theatre, 937 Main St. THREE DAYS LATER: 9 p.m. New Brookland Tavern, 122 State St. $5. i 1 5 f i £