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What’s Up?
Welcome to What’s Up, the weekly advice column brought to you by the Counseling and Human Development
Center interns and staff. Submit your anonymous questions to adviceatusc@hotmail.com. We offer no
personal responses via e-mail. The center's professional staff supervises all interns. The following advice
represents the opinions of the center and not necessarily the opinions of The Gamecock.
QUESTION: I am getting really
nervous about going home over
the break. I chose to come to USC
to be as far away from my parents
as possible. I am independent
now and don’t want to revert back
to my high school self.
ANSWER: Being physically away
™ from your family does not mean
you are disconnected from
them. Families live inside our
brains and perhaps our blood.
Many college students have
experienced becoming a young
child all over again as soon they
walk through home’s door.
Maybe it is the smells of the
house, the furniture or a familiar
dynamic in the family. The
advantage of being a college
student is that you are home
temporarily. So if you become 5
years old again during
Thanksgiving, you’ll be
emancipated when you come
back to school. However, small
changes can affect the rest of
the family. For instance, if your
role has been to mediate family
v disputes, you could now tell
your folks that they need
^ resolve the problem on their
own. This gives family members
the opportunity to do things
differently. Use the vacation to
do at least one thing differently.
This would give you the
opportunity to share ways you
have changed and developed
during your time in college. Your
family might be uncomfortable
with you adapting a different
role, but introducing the
process of change may be the
biggest gift you could give back
I *
to them. Pick your battles, and
approach delicate
conversations openly and
respectfully. Don't expect
miracles, but don’t go home
expecting to be miserable.
If you think it might be helpful,
talk to your family about your
concerns. They might be really
excited about the “new you”
and may want to help you
become more independent.
Other friends and relatives can
tell you about how they handled
the transition from adolescence
to young adulthood and the
challenges they faced.
Remember that while you have
been away, your friends and
family have had their own
experiences and there might be
an awkward period of
adjustment for everybody.
QUESTION: I have so much
stress, and I am not sure I can
handle college, but I don’t want
to let my family down. I don’t
want to disappoint them, but I
do not know how to tell them I
might lose my scholarships.
ANSWER: The transition to
college can be very difficult and
especially hard when you are
trying to not only meet your own
expectations, but the
expectations of family and
friends. Perhaps you were at the
top of your high-school class, a
big fish in a small pond. Now you
are a small fish in the big ocean.
The first step is recognizing where
your stress is coming from. Are
your expectations realistic? Are
you over-committed to activities?
Have you developed a balanced
schedule? Once you have
recognized where this stress is
coming from, find ways to deal
with it. Talk to someone you can
trust or that you feel comfortable
with, such as an RA, your friends,
professors or spiritual leaders.
Do not make excuses for your
problems, but recognize that you
might need help. This help could
come in the form of extra study
sessions or communicating to
your parents that you are afraid
of disappointing them. It is best
to be open with your parents so
that they will not be surprised if
your grades are lower than they
anticipated or if you lose your
scholarship. Let them know all
you have learned and what your
goals are for the upcoming
semester. What do you want to
get out of your college
experience? College is not just
about academics, but also about
recognizing your place in the
world and applying what you are
learning. There comes a time
when we each need to recognize
what our gifts are and where they
will be best utilized. Share your
goals and thoughts with those
close to you. You will be sure not
to let them down since you are
being honest about what
direction life is leading you.
The USC Counseling and
Human Development Center
777-5223
Seventh floor, Byrnes Building
www.sa.sc.edu/chdc
adviceatusc@hotmail.com
Open Monday through Friday,
8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.
♦ .
CROSSWORD
ACROSS
1 Mark for removal
5 Doubleday of
baseball
10 In good health
14 Declare frankly
15 Girlfriend of the
Shadow
16 Creative thought
17 Citations
19 Decree
20 Competitor
21 Final
straightaway
23 HST follower
24 Three-way
junction
25 Feminine
pronoun
26 Plunk
30 Mrs. in Madrid
32 Crimson or
scarlet
34 Runs easily
36 Emulates
• Lipinski
41 Standing by
42 Powerful D.C.
43 Online letters
44 Unseats
46 Actress Winger
47 Big_CA
48 Fr. holy woman
50 Tallow material
5J What_you
looking at?
54 Put in position
56 A Gabor
58 Yield
60 Most impulsive
65 Thick porridge
66 Horizontally
strung
instrument
68 Pin box
69 Lauder of
cosmetics
70 Medicine
71 Ooze
72 Oracles
73 Isle of exile
DOWN
1 Challenge
2 Tied
3 Storage place
4 Water pitcher
5 Recompense
6 Chatting
playfully
7 AEC’s
replacement
8 Excrete
9 Lineups
10 Marriage partner
11 Polishes prose
12 Lixiviate
13 Carpentry
machine
18 Awesome!
22 Stank
26 Trudge
27 Actress
Anderson
28 Makes a choice
29 Rings
31 Field measures
33 Titled ladies
35 Marriage partner
37 Man from
Massachusetts
38 No-no
39 Yeats’country
40 Louver
45 Shellfish
collectors
49 Gets around
51 Top points
52 AAA advice
53 Follow
afterward
55 To the point
57 Eurasian viper
59 Wedge shot
61 Take cover
62 British peer
63 Cold shoulder
64 Forum wear
67 Had a little
lamb
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© 2003 Tribune Media Services, Inc. 11/1 S/03
All rights reserved.
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HOROSCOPES
ARIES If you’re planning to be
out and about, make sure to
stay connected. There’ll be
changes to your schedule, your |
plans, your assignment and
even your job.
TAURUS All the scrimping and
saving you’ve done has left
your nest egg intact. Now, you
can finally relax.
GEMINI A critical person can j
be quite annoying. It looks like
the results will be much better
if you pay attention.
CANCER The lessons assigned
for today and tonight must be
learned through experience.
So when someone tells you to
practice, don’t object.
LEO Not all of your fortune
has to come from the sweat of
your brow. There’s a lot of
value in the things you’ve
accumulated already. Count
your blessings.
VIRGO You’re a person who
can handle a lot of details.
You’re pretty good with
distractions, too, and you’re
getting better with practice.
LIBRA Take things slowly and
don’t let yourself get rattled.
Go for perfection instead of
speed.
SCORPIO Your friends will
keep you motivated. You
provide the staying power; let
them provide the impetus.
SAGITTARIUS Don’t argue with
a person who’s trying to get
you to be precise. This is one of
the gurus who’s been sent to
help you succeed. Check your
words carefully. You'll
improve your credibility.
CAPRICORN There are a few
assignments you’re finding
difficult to complete. Let your
subconscious work on them
while you do something more
fun.
AQUARIUS It’s possible that
you can get more money for
what you’ve been doing.
Discuss the situation with
your boss and with somebody
else’s boss, too.
PISCES Love is the most
powerful energy in the
universe. You’re a living
example of that, and don’t
forget it for a moment. You’re
providing sustenance.
CALENDAR
Wednesday, Nov. 19
“BRAGGING RITES": 8 p.m.
Russell House Theater.
“POLAROID STORIES”:
Presented by Theatre South
Carolina. 8 p.m. Longstreet
Theatre. $14 general
admission, $12 faculty and
staff, $10 students.
“NOSEY PARKER” : Featuring
Columbia native Natalie
Picoe. 3,7 and 9 p.m.
Nickelodeon Theatre, 937
Main St.
“THE MAN WHO CAME TO
DINNER”: 8 p.m. Workshop
Theatre, 1136 Bull St. $13
general admission, $11
students and military.
THE JAM ROOM ACOUSTIC
SHOWDOWN ROUND 2: 9 p.m.
New Brookland Tavern, 122
State St. $2.
JUSTIN MCROBERTS WITH
MICAH HALL: 9 p.m. Jammin’
Java, 1530 Main St. $7.
MAYWATER ACOUSTIC:
Sundance Bar & Grill, 902-B
Gervais St. Free.
Thursday, Nov. 20
“BRAGGING RITES”: 8p.m.
Russell House Theater.
“POLAROID STORIES”: 8 p.m.
Longstreet Theatre. $14 for
general admission; $12 for
faculty, staff and military; $10
for students.
“NOSEY PARKER": 7 and 9
p.m. Nickelodeon Theatre.
HANDEL’S “MESSIAH":
Featuring soloists and chorus.
7:30 p.m. Roger Center. $18
general admission, $15
faculty and staff, $8 students.
“POLAROID STORIES”: 8 p.m.
Longstreet Theatre. $14
general admission, $12 faculty
and staff, $10 students.
“SWIMMING POOL”: 7 and 9
p.m. Nickelodeon Theatre.
MATT WERTZ WITH JUSTIN
R0S0LIN0:9 p.m. Jammin’
Java. $7.
SQUEEZETOY: Sundance Bar
& Grill. Free.