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THE GAMECOCK ♦ Monday, January 13, 2002 7 SOUND OFF TTT^TTTTirY VITTO ONLINE POLL Create message boards at I 1-^ % /■ / I " fl I % I Are you glad to be back in classes? www.dailygamecock.com or I I l i 1/ 1/ I 11 \ Hi ^ www.dailygamecock.com. send letters to the editor to IliWW I 1 Iky' Results published on Fridays. gamecockviewpoints@hotmail.com 1 ® ^ ® ®— L ' ™ ^' IN OUR OPINION USC risking needless loss If it doesn’t keep better track of its money, USC stands to lose a lot more than the $7,858,000 the State Budget and Control Board recently cut from the university’s budget. This past Monday, the USC Police Department charged Renee Sturkie, a USC employee, with embezzlement. Sturkie, grant administrator for USC’s Center for Colon Cancer Research, is accused State-imposed cuts aren’t the only way USC stands to lose money; crime - or mere oversight - could prove just as great a threat to the university’s budget. of using university credit cards to buy computer equipment and then settling it to pawn shops. If she is guilty, USC will have only narrowly dodged a $50,000 loss of university money. Without the anonymous phone call that spurred her arrest, who knows how long it would have taken the university to discover the missing money? But it doesn’t take anything as dramatic as embezzlement for USC to lose money needlessly; mere oversight could be just as costly. USC employs more than 3,000 faculty and administrative staffers. Most of these people have access to departmental credit cards. That’s a lot of money to keep track of, and it creates a high potential for loss. A few wasted dollars here and there, once they snowball, result in job cuts, fewer residence halls, fewer classes and a gradual devaluation of our degrees. USC has more than 800 job openings that cannot be filled because there aren’t enough funds. Recent budget cuts have made one thing clear: USC cannot afford to hemorrhage money. University spokesman Russ McKinney has said USC would have noticed the missing $50,000 eventually. But the fact that it took seven months, even with the outside help, indicates USC’s current system of checks and balances isn’t enough. McKinney’s assurance that the university will take another look at that system is a solid first step; but this first step must be followed by a second, a third and many more if USC is to survive the dwindling of its funds. GAMECOCK CORRECTIONS If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know. E-mail us at gamecockviewpoints@hotmail.com. ABOUT THE GAMECOCK Editor in Chief Jill Martin Managing Editor Charles Tomlinson News Editor Adam Beam Asst. News Editor Wendy Jeffcoat Viewpoints Editor Erin O’Neal The Mix Editor Corey Garriott Asst. The Mix Editor Meg Moore Sports Editor Matt Rothenberg Asst. Sports Editor Brad Senkiw Photo Editor Johnny Haynes Asst. Photo Editor Morgan Ford Head Page Designers Sarah McLaulin, Katie Smith, David Stagg Page Designers Justin Bajan, Samantha Hall, Staci Jordan, Julia Knetzer, Shawn Rourk Slot Copy Editors Crystal Boyles, Tricia Ridgway, Emma Ritch Rim Copy Editor Laura Gough Online Editor Bessam Khadraoui Community Affairs Kiran Shah CONTACT INFORMATION Offices on third floor of the Russell House. Editor in Chief: gamecockeditor@hotmail.com News: gamecockudesk@hotmail.com Viewpoints: gamecockviewpoints@hotmail.com The Mix: gamecockmixeditor@hotmail.com Sports: gamecocksports@hotmail.com Public Affairs: gckpublicaffairs@hotmail.com Online: www.dailygamecock.com Newsroom: 777-7726 Editor's Office: 777-3914 STUDENT MEDIA Faculty Adviser Erik Collins Director of Student Media Ellen Parsons Creative Director Susan King Business Manager Carolyn Griffin Advertising Manager Sarah Scarborough Classified Manager Sherry F. Holmes Creative Services Derek Goode, Earl Jones, Sean O'Meara. Anastasia Oppert Melanie Roberts Advertising Staff Adam Bourgoin, Justin Chappell, Bianca Knowles, Denise Levereaux, Jacqueline Rice, Stacey Todd The Gamecock is the editorially independent student newspaper of the University of South Carolina. It is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer, with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editors or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper’s parent organization. The Gamecock is supported in part by student-activity fees. One free copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $1 each from the Department of Student Media. TO PLACE AN AD The Gamecock Advertising: 777-3888 1400 Greene St. Classified: 777-1184 Columbia. S.C. 29208’ Fax: 777-6482 TvjTJ TuT; TuT.n, No CLASS , WARFARE' W CARTOON COURTESY OF KRT CAMPUS New year, new you — right? BROOK BRISTOW GAMECOCKVIEWPOINTS@HOTMAIL.COM Old resolutions are still plaguing the new year. So maybe it’s just me, but with a new year upon us and all the idealism floating around about a new you, there is probably as much chance of people keeping their New Year’s resolutions as there is of Ozzy Osbourne wear ing a white T-shirt. Come on, America. Every year, we make the same promis es and always end up with the same results. The greatest resolution of all time has to be “to lose weight.” Now that’s a great goal. The prob lem is that it just isn’t happening. A CNN poll shows that 80 per cent of people older than 25 are overweight. That figure has risen from 71 percent in 1995,64 per cent in 1990 and 58 percent in 1983. Look at those statistics. A deficit in those numbers is about as scarce as a business suit in Avril Lavigne’s wardrobe. Now, there are some people out there who are living proof that exercise can be a complete waste of time. Take Anna Nicole Smith, for example. The more she exercises—if she ever does—the more massive she becomes. Shame on the E! network. It thought it was getting a show with Anna Nicole Smith, but in stead it ended up getting a show with Anna Nicole Smith doing her imitation of Billy Bob from “Varsity Blues.” But don’t let her throw you off course. All weight loss really takes is a good diet, regular aer obic exercise and maybe throw ing in some weight lifting for anaerobic work. You know, just thinking about it makes me tired. Society has us convinced we all need to look like models; we need to be utterly stunning, with abs tighter than Joan Rivers’ face. So it looks like a venture to the gym might be in order. Have you ever noticed that the people at the gym are the ones who have no business being there? You know who I am talking about: those big guys who have muscles on top of muscles, and who make me feel not as Schwarzenegger as I usually do. Well, here’s a fun thing to do: I’m about 5 foot nothing and 100 and nothing, so I like to listen to these guys who make more noise lifting weights than Monica Seles does hitting a forehand. Then I’ll pick up those big 25 pound weights and make even more noise. Then I’ll put down the weights and explain to Mr. Universe “he is doing it all wrong.” His laughter and mine have saved us 30 minutes of cardio from all the calories we just burned. But give these guys cred it. They have the discipline and dedication to get the muscles and the “Baywatch” women that guys make New Year’s resolu tions to get. Sure, most people aren’t hap py with the way they look, but if you don’t like it, change it. It’s not like a remote control, which lets you change the channel if you don’t like what’s on. It takes a little more motivation. If you need motivation, go down to the local McDonald’s and have a look around, or, best of all, have a fight with your roommate and step out for a little while from that “Survivor” episode being shot in your dorm room. . But maybe it’s just me. Bristow is a fifth-year advertising student. IN YOUR OPINION U.S.C. extends its support to Frost We, the gentlemen of the Union of Southern Clansmen have been moved to respond, this time in favor of Jonathan Frost (“Private clubs can ex clude anyone,” Dec. 4); we’re overwhelmed by the density of his prose and the eloquence of his arguments. Truly, the purpose of the Boy Scouts of America is to shelter young boys from the evils of a multicultural society. This in sidious Neapolitan treat is rank with the fluffy whip cream of di versity and the butterscotch glaze of “education.” This can not be allowed. We must move forward, confident in the maraschino cherry of our own superiority and the white chocolate veracity of the Bible. In the Bible, as Mr. Frost points out, “homosexuality is a sin of sexual immorality.” Ah, the Bible, compass for our lives. It tells us masturbation is wrong and slavery is a natural way of life. If everyone followed the Bible to the letter, then the blacks would be back where they belong, picking cotton. We are also tired of femi nists “attacking” what “they don’t agree with.” How dare they challenge our God-given authority as white males. The First Amendment was de signed by white males for white males. Brother Frost says, “attack ing the BSA because it is differ ent is wrong,” only white Christians have that right. For those who’ve forgotten, that’s the right to exclude individuals — not as a result of irrefutable evidence or imminent danger— because they are weird. Anything weird should be feared. A thing feared is, un doubtedly, an evil thing; hence, anything evil is weird. Homosexuals are “different,” which is a synonym for “weird.” Therefore, homosexuals are evil. Keep your cooties to your self, and your greasy fingers off the soft bottoms of our children. Yes, we believe in human rights—all groups have rights; white American males just hap pen to have more rights than everyone else. DAVID ARROYO WEST COLUMBIA Cancelling classes was a good move Last semester an editorial said, “... that doesn’t mean (USC) should assume the worst and shut things down because it’s cold outside” (“Cancellation Unnecessary,” Dec. 6). All signs pointed to it being more than “cold outside.” More than one million people on the East Coast were left without power, and at least 22 people perished because of the storm. Columbia was not hit this hard, but forecasts predicted that it would. I know people who commute. From their route to USC, the roads were icy and thus, dan gerous. A woman in Virginia lost control of her vehicle, slid off the road and got stuck. She froze to death in her car. This could have been a fellow stu dent or staffer who does not live on or near campus. I commend USC in its efforts to keep us safe. No study ses sion is worth a life. Besides, study sessions are great, but if you study and do what you are supposed to do all semester, they really are not necessary. The basketball game should have been canceled. It is not ac ceptable to put athletes from two schools at risk for a game, but I feel it necessary to protect the safety of the rest of the student body by cancelling classes. Again, nothing is worth a life. JEBB C. GRAFF FIFTH-YEAR MEDIA ARTS STUDENT USC needs to fund more night classes As a nontraditional student at USC Sumter, I have to voice my concern; students who have no choice but to take night classes are feeling a little left out. I am working on getting my de gree. I also work full time driving a truck to support my family. This entails working as much as 14 to 15 hours a day. I sit behind the wheel at my job and realize that all the hard work I am doing might be a waste because there are not enough night classes at USC Sumter to finish my degree. I can not afford to quit my job and take day classes; I am having a tough time balancing two classes two nights a week and getting up at 3:00 a.m. to go to work. And I am still maintaining a 3.69 GPA. I would really love to gradu ate and get a job in the comput er science field. Please consider more funding for night classes and the other nontraditional stu dents. RICHARD WHITE FIRST-YEAR MEDIA ARTS STUDENT Submission Policy Letters to the editor should be less than 300 words and include name, phone number, professional title or year and major, if a student. E-mail letters to gamecockviewpoints@hotmail.com. Letters will be edited. Anonymous letters will not be published. Call the newsrodm at 777-7726 for more information. It’s easy to make reality shows PHIL WATSON GAMECOCKVIEWPOINTS@HOTMAIL.COM Who wouldn’t want to marry a hundredaire? Reality TV shows seem to be where it’s at right now, and I’ve decided to cash in on all the ac tion. Since most of these mindless shows copy each other and build on old ideas with slightly new twists, it can’t be that hard to come up with a brand-new reali ty show that combines the better ' aspects of other reality shows and gets twice the ratings. My show will be called “Who wants To Marry Phil Hundredaire?” It’ll be great. We start out with 20 women who want to get with me because they think I’m worth several hundred dollars. But here’s the catch: I have only $15 to my name. That’s right: I might have the good looks and suave ness of a hundredaire, but I’m only a fifteendollaraire. Although these women think I can afford to take them to the dollar theater and buy them meals at Wendy’s, the truth is 1 can barely afford to take them to my house to watch a movie on TNT. Wendy’s is totally out of the question, but for special occa sions, I can treat them to Kraft macaroni and cheese at my house. For an anniversary or something, we might take the bus to the Oliver Gospel Mission for a candle — I mean, fluorescent light-lit dinner. Now that’s good television. Those money-grubbers will get theirs. During the show, before my shocking secret is revealed, the women will have to compete for me. They will get to live in my two room mansion in historic down town Columbia. But there won’t be any lame formal balls, since my living room just isn’t big enough. Instead, they’ll have to try to impress me by doing things like bra-and-panty tickle fights, washing my car and doing my laundry. Every week, I’m going to make a round of cuts until there are only two women left. At that point, the gloves will come off. The two finalists will undoubt edly be willing to fight over my hundreds of dollars, and that’s exactly what I’m going to let them do. The last show will combine el ements of “The Bachelor,” “Cops,” “Celebrity Boxing” and “When Animals Attack.” It will go down in television history as the best-ever televised chick fight. The winner will then get cleaned up and ready to marry me. Then comes the moment ev eryone in America has been waiting for. The girl might be crying, she’s so happy. “It’s a dream come true. Every girl says she wants to marry a hun dredaire, but how many actual ly do it? I’m actually going to do it,” she might say. “Wrong. I’m not really a hun dredaire. I only have $15,” I’ll say. “You dirty son of a... ” But just before she lets me have it, I jump in my car and prepare to skip town. But then, tragedy strikes. My car is out of gas be cause, if you remember, I'm only a fiftesndollarairfe. I run franti cally down Greene Street while she chases me with a tire jack. That’s how the hit series will end: me running into the sunset with an angry, tire-jack wielding girl chasing after me. Sums up my college career pretty well. Watson is a fourth-year print journalism student.