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I Bush jokes with Gridiron Club by Lawrence Knutson Associated Press WASHINGTON — President Bush poked fun at perceptions that he is a little short of intelligence and that his vice president is in control as he made his first appearance in the Gridiron Club’s 116th annual spoof Saturday night. “These stories about my intellectual capacity do get under my skin a little bit,” Bush told the w}iite-tie gathering. He said it appeared to him that even his staff doubted his brain power because every day he got an “intelligence briefing.” And he said he was heeding • some advice he got from longtime Democratic power Robert Strauss: “You can fool some of the people all of the time — and those are the people you need to concentrate on.” The president said there was a lot people didn’t know about him, such as his interest in the human genome. “I hope it eventually clones another Dick Cheney. Then, I won’t have to do anything,” he joked of his vice president’s reported heavy influence in the administration. He dismissed suggestions that Cheney is the decision-maker in the White House. “To those people, I say ...” At that point, he paused, turned to Cheney and said, “Dick, what do I say?” Bush admitted he had “foot-and mouth disease” when it comes to the English language, saying he has been told that his lips “are where words go to die.” The bulk of the show was a spoofing of the politicians whose reach for power last year sputtered or thrived over disputed ballots full of hanging or dimpled chads. The menu of jokes covered the result of the long count in Florida, the election deciding Supreme Court, the Bush family’s “Tex-Mex” blue blood, Bill and Hillary Clintons’ new furniture and last minute pardons. Every president since Benjamin Harrison has been a Gridiron guest before an audience that includes journalists, Cabinet members, senators, governors, generals and ambassadors. Macedonian troops launch attack against ethnic Albanian insurgents by Jerome Delay Associated Press GAJRE, Macedonia — Government troops punched through rebel lines and moved into a hillside village Sunday, spraying houses with bullets as they spearheaded an offensive to push ethnic Albanian insurgents back from Macedonia’s second-largest city. While not claiming all-out victory, Prime Minister Ljubco Georgievski said government forces were doing well, asserting that the thrust to “clear the terrain of terrorists... is being carried out successfully, and already key positions have been taken.” The fighting has brought combatants into their closest quarters yet in the six week conflict near the Macedonian border with the Serbian province of Kosovo, where ethnic Albanians constitute a majority. NATO, which has policed Kosovo since expelling former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic’s troops in 1999, wants the Macedonian conflict defused to prevent a wider Balkan war. The rebels say their aim is limited to more rights for ethnic Albanians within Slav-dominated Macedonia, but the government accuses them of seeking independence and drawing on Kosovo for fighters and weapons. In Washington, President Bush said he hoped U.S. and NATO efforts will prove effective in helping Macedonia quell the conflict. “I’m hoping, of course, that the government is stable and we’re able to seal off the border to prevent people and arms from getting to the rebels,” Bush told reporters as he returned to the White House after a morning jog. On Sunday afternoon, Macedonian troops led by seven armored personnel carriers and two tanks moved into the village of Gajre, in the hills just northwest of Tetovo, breaking through a rebel roadblock and forcing the insurgent? to pull back. Houses and cars were burning in the village, and bullets sent roof tiles flying as troops blasted houses suspected of harboring rebels. Two helicopters strafed the hillsides. After the fighting ended, dozens of terrified people who had been hiding in a cellar surfaced and rushed into the thick forest around the village. “Our operations gained intensity and are progressing according to plan,” said Antonio Milososki, a government spokesman. “Several terrorist positions have been taken.” •> (Bearing Witness to Violence toflien What is the Clothesline? The Clothesline Project provides an opportunity for female survivors of violence I to paint a t-shirt expressing their inner sorrows and triumphs. These t-shirts are then displayed on Greene Street so that others can bear witness to the survivor’s experience. T-Shirts are color-coded in order to recognize the uniqueness of each Clothesline Participant’s violent encounter. White for those who have died from violence Yellow for those who have been battered/assaulted Pink for those who have been sexually assaulted Blue for survivors of incest or child sexual abuse Purple for those attacked because of their sexual; orientation 2001 Clothesline Project Events: Student Poster Display - RH 2nd Floor Lobby, 3/26-3/30. * * -’VivaonNk Chimera Self Defense Workshop Tuesday, March 27, 2001 RH Ballroom 7:00p.m. (for women only) The Grand Display Wednesday, March 28, 2001 Greene Street 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Keynote Speaker Donald McPherson Thursday, March 29, 2001 Scholarship lounge the Stadium 7:00p.m. For more information concerning the Clothesline Project, call CISC's Office for Sexual Health and Violence Prevention at 777-7619. Student Health Services vDepa.tment of Student Development • Division of Student & Alcmni Services Energy Crisis U.S. says it won’t beg OPEC for oil by Brigitte Greenberg Associated Press WASHINGTON — The Bush administration will not go “begging the OPEC countries or anybody else” to increase oil production as long as the United States has untapped reserves that could ease an energy pinch, Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham said Sunday. Making the case for oil drilling in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Abraham said no one should be surprised that the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries recently chose to cut output to keep prices high. “They have decided to put their own interests first, and I tliink that’s something the American people need to recognize," Abraham told Fox News Sunday. “We are not going to take the approaph of begging the OPEC countries or anybody else with respect to oil production.” Abraham’s com nienis come amid concern about power shortages and blackouts in California and the possibility of soaring electricity and gasoline prices across the country this summer. Democrats aigue that there are ways to improve the country’s energy efficiency odier tlian drilling in the Arctic refuge and that fuel shouldn’t come at the expense of the environment. Some Democrats say President Bush, a Texas oil man, is wrongly using the California energy crisis to make his argument, when the state is suffering a shortage of electricity, not oil. During the presidential campaign, Bush repeatedly talked of pressuring OPEC to keep oil production reasonable. He suggested his administration would be able to sway OPEC nations better than President Clinton’s was. Some Republicans described Clinton’s approach as embarrassing “tin-cup diplomacy.” Abraham said the Bush administration will make the argument to OPEC leaders that the supply and demand of the market should determine price, not cartel manipulations. “We should not expect OPEC to necessarily just do what the United States considers in its best interests. And I think that just aigues for us to develop more energy resources here at home,” Abraham said. Development of Alaskan reserves is a critical element of Bush’s eneigy strategy. The refuge could hold as much as 16 billion barrels of oil, laiger than reserves in neighboring Prudhoe Bay, though the oil wouldn’t be available for a decade. Bush lias acknowledged that opening the Arctic refuge to drilling may be a hard sell in Congress. Senate Democrats have pledged to block legislation that would lift the refuge’s protection. Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., said the refuge should remain pristine and that it is “completely fraudulent” for Republicans to suggest America’s dependency on oil is going to be solved by drilling in the refuge. ‘We are not going to take the approach of begging the OPEC countries or anybody else with respect to oil production.’ Spencer Abraham Energy Secretary News Briefs ■ McCain predicts finance bill chaos WASHINGTON (AP) — Previewing the second week of campaign finance debate. Republican Sen. John McCain on Sunday predicted more “hysteria as we come closer to passage” of his bill to ban soft money and also fought to head off momentum for a rival plan. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, R Miss., said he liked an alternative that would limit, not ban, soft money. Sen. Mitch McConnell, who opposes McCain's leading proposal, also endorsed the cap. Senators hope to reach a compromise on campaign donation regulations by the end of the week. McCain, R-Ariz., continued to ■ press for a full ban on soft money, the loosely regulated, unlimited donations that unions, corporations and individuals make to political parties. The plan that he and Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis„ are sponsoring does not increase the amount that an individual can contribute to a candidate. ■ Comair, pilots break off talks HEBRON, Ky. (AP) — Comair and its pilots broke off talks Sunday on a new contract, and the regional airline said it canceled most of its flights scheduled for Monday in preparation for a possible strike by the pilots. Comair spokeswoman Meghan Glynn said negotiators were told by union leaders Sunday that they were unable to compromise on the major issues. The Air Line Pilots Association blamed the company for abandoning negotiations, and said a strike at 12:01 a.m. Monday was nearly assured. ▼ Deferring taxes with TIAA-CREF can be so rewarding, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. I One of the fastest ways to build a retirement nest egg is through tax-deferred Supplemental Retirement Annuities (SRAs) from TIAA-CREF. Your funds are automatically deducted from your paycheck, so it's easy to butld incbme to supplement your pension and Social Security* Especially since your SRA Contributions grow undiminished by taxes until you withdraw the funds. 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