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Quote, Unquote ‘It’s discouraging to know you will get stuck in traffic when Sail you want to do is go to the mall.’ Eric Reformado, Dillard’s employee (femecotk Ctj 9 page 3 TEhe (Bmecock Serving the Carolina Community since 1Q08 Editorial Board P Brock Vergakis • Editor in Chief Kevin Langston • Viewpoints Editor Nathan White • Asst. Viewpoints Editor Patrick Rathbun • Editorial Contributor Brad Walters • Editorial Contributor Martha Wright • Editorial Contributor For nation's dignity, Gore should concede The Florida vote has been certified. After weeks of fighting in the courts, Florida’s 25 electoral votes have been awarded to Texas Gov. Geoige W. Bush. It was no surprise, however, that Vice President A1 Gore has continued to contest the certification, because Gore has said he would win Florida after a complete hand recount. If all the votes in Florida were counted, however, the nation would probably head into the next millennium not knowing who its next president will be. A1 Gore should ultimately concede the state of Florida to Bush. While Gore could possibly win Florida after a continuous battle with the courts, would this do a better service to the United . States? Would the bad taste left in the mouth of America go away? Gore, at this point, will not do this country any greater service by fighting with the courts. The question must be asked: Is he go ing this far for his best interests or for America’s best interests? Partisanship aside, this newspaper believes nothing good will come from Gore’s ongoing onslaught with the Florida courts. The next -{■ four years will be marred by this month of confusion and pande monium, no matter who the victor, but Bush is already in the win ning position. Gore should quit fighting and let Bush begin his transition with no further controversy. Looking back, this nation is learning plenty of valuable lessons from this election. The United States is a one of the most powerful nations in the world, yet our system of choosing a president is ob viously in dire need of reformation and technological update. The effects of this debacle are being felt on Wall Street, and in the homes of Americans who have watched this process slowly and painfully unfold. We’ve gotten comfortable with an outdated sys tem of voting, and only now — we hope — will there be efforts to change the way votes are counted. The terror of the “dimpled chad” should be eliminated by a much more modem approach to casting a vote. Even more obvi ous, perhaps, is the need for an Electoral College overhaul. An all 1 out removal of the system isn’t necessary, but we do think individ ual states’ electoral votes should be applied according to the number of votes each candidate gets. For example, Florida’s 25 electoral votes as they stand now would be divided as follows: 13 for Bush, 12 for Gore. Some might aigue this would destroy a more than 200-year-old tradition, but ultimately, this system would allow the candidate who wins the popular vote to become president, which is the fairest thing to do. This might prevent the announcement of a winner until after Election Day, but it would be better than the situation we’re facing now. In addition, the media should look into better methods of elec tion-night coverage in the future. Both A1 Gore and Geoige W. Bush thought they had the presidency in tow on Election Night, thanks to network news’ flawed projections based on exit polling. !) Unfortunately, judging from the polling still going on about whether the election should be over, the networks haven’t learned that polls can be untrustworthy. The Gamecock is the student newspaper of The University of South Carolina and is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editors or author and not those of The University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper’s parent organization. The Gamecock is supported in part by student activities fees. Adoress The Gamecock 1400 Greene Street Columbia, SC 29208 Offices on third floor of the Russell House. Student Media Area code 803 Advertising 777-3888 f Classified 777-1184 ' Fax 777-6482 Office ( 777-3888 Gamecock Area code 803-777-7726 Editor in Chief gamecockeditor@hotmail.com University Desk gamecockudesk@hotmail.com City/State Desk gamecockcitydesk@hotmail.com Viewpoints gamecockviewpoints@hotmail.com Spotlight gamecockspotlight@hotmail.com Sports gamecocksports@hotmail.com Submission Policy Letters to the editor or guest columns are welcome from all members of the Carolina community. Letters should be 250-300 words. Guest columns should be an opinion piece of about 600 words. Both must include name, phone number, profes sional title or year and major, if a student. Handwritten submissions must be personally delivered to Russell House room 333. E-mail submissions must include tele phone number for confirmation and should be sent to gamecockviewpoi nts©hotmail .com. The Gamecock reserves the right to edit for libel, style and space. Anonymous letters will not be pub lished. Photos are required for guest columnists and can be provided by the submitter. Call 777-7726 for more information. THE GAMECOCK BBWflygg Brock Vergakis Editor in Chief Brandon Larrabee University Editor John Huiett City/State Editor Kevin Langston Viewpoints Editor Jared Kelowitz Day Sports Editor Kyle Almond Night Sports Editor Mackenzie Clements Jason Harmon Ashley Melton Brad Walters Martha Wright Copy Editors MacKenzie Craven Spotlight Editor Travis Lynn Sean Rayford Photo Editors Charles Prashaw Amanda Silva Asst. University Editors John Bailey Asst. City/State Editor Nathan White Asst. Viewpoints Editor Aubrey Fitzloff Miranda LaLonde Ann Marie Miani Jennie Moore Katie Smith Page Designers Snnmr Meoa Erik Collins Faculty Adviser Ellen Parsons Director of Student Media Susan King Creative Director Sean De Luna Todd Hooks Melanie Hutto Emilie Moca Martin Salisbury Creative Services Carolyn Griffin Business Manager Jannell Deyo Robyn Gombar Kera Khalil Denise Levereaux Brantley Roper Nicole Russell Advertising Staff Jonathan Dunagin Interim Ad Manager Sherry F. Holmes Classified Manager. College Press Exchange Christmas Capitalism An interview with Santa Claus Editor’s note: On a recent trip to the North Pole, former Gamecock news editor Clayton Kalehadaonce-in a-lifetime meeting with Santa Claus. Santa agreed to an interview, and portions of it are transcribed here. Clayton Kale: Mr. Claus, I appre ciate you letting me come to your home to interview Clayton Kale is a junior journalism major. He can be reached at gamecockview points© hotmail.com. you. And please, tell your wife these are the best cookies I’ve ever had. Santa Claus: Don’t thank her, thank the Pillsbury Dough Boy. CK: Mrs. Claus uses Pillsbury cook ies-in-a-can? SC: No. The Dough Boy is our hired chef. CK: I see. Ahem. Well, everyone knows how you got started. Being a phil anthropist has got to feel good — but af ter all these years, do you still enjoy your work? SC: Sometimes. It used to be a lot of fun, back when we made little wooden ships or even bicycles. But now, I’ve had to spend a lot of money sending the elves to MIT to leam how to make those [expletive] robotic, electronic, auto-erot ic newfangled, track-you-anywhere-you go, Orwellian make-life-easier doo-hick ies. CK: Like cell phones? SC: Like cell phones. CK: Why do you think you’ve enjoyed so much success in your job? And don’t you worry that the Justice Department might try to break your monopoly on hoi iday cheer? SC: To answer the first question: I’ve enjoyed so much success because — I mean really, who could hate a jolly old man who gives toys to small children? Although that does sound a bit creepy. If I were to stand on the street comer and give toys to children, I’d probably be tak en to jail. CK: So what about the Justice De partment? You currently have a monop oly on holiday cheer, and they’ve been gung-ho about breaking up Microsoft — are you next? SC: I don’t have a monopoly on hol iday cheer. But give it a few more years. CK: A few more years? Could you elaborate? I don’t believe I understand. SC: Well, some people in some cor ners of the globe still celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday—they go to church for midnight Mass, they put glow-in-the dark nativity scenes in their front yard, they read the story of Jesus’ birth from the Bible at family get-togethers. CK: And that keeps you from having a monopoly? SC: Yes, but like I said, it’s only a mat ter of years now.... My advertisers are un believable. In most of America, I’m al ready bigger than Jesus... CK: Santa!!! SC: What? I am! Go to any child and ask him whom Christmas is about — chances are he’ll say Santa Claus or Papa Noel or any number of my aliases. I nev er intended to take Mr. Christ’s place. My goal was to say, “Hey look, I’m giving, you can give too, and if we all give, the world will be a better place.” I thought that idea was in spirit with Christ’s teachings. But then shopping malls and unbridled capi talism came along and ruined the whole thing. CK: So why don’t you quit? SC: Quit? Are you kidding me? You think your little brother’s bad when he doesn’t get a happy meal toy widi his horse meat and soy burger. Imagine every child throwing a tantrum all at once, all over the world. It would be chaos. The Dow [Jones] would fall, the eternal flame would blow out, Los Angeles would no longer be in danger of falling into the ocean and Americans would become a dominat ing force in world soccer all at the same time. It would be utter pandemonium. CK: Jesus. SC: You said it, kid. CK: Is there any way to fix this mess? SC: Well, I talked to Jesus about it and he said... CK: Wait, you talked to Jesus ... and he talked hack? SC: Sure, I caught the tail-end of his birthday party last year. Those angels sure know how to party. CK You got to go to his birthday par ty? SC: Why not? I am a saint, you know. But, anyway, Jesus told me to keep do ing what I’m doing to keep relative peace on earth. He said good will towards men was [expletive]. But one out of two ain’t bad. We must have priorities until the Sec ond Coming, he said. And peace among 9 year-olds is a priority. CK: Well, I think I got more than I baigained for from this interview. It’s been an eye-opening experience. Is there any thing that you want to say that we haven’t covered? SC: Yes. If I get one more letter ask ing for one of those cell phones that you can zap an “IM” to someone sitting next to you, I’m going t» beat Rudolph with a lead-filled snowshoe. I always thought He Man and Barbie would warp children’s self-image. But now I worry that the toys kids want nowadays is ruining their sense of being alive. Go kids, nin, play out side! Letters Dr. Palms invites students to join 2001 celebration Dear USC Students: In 1801, the state legislature chartered. South Carolina College as the nation’s first publicly supported institution of higher learning. On Jan. 10,1805, nine young men came to the Horseshoe in Columbia to en roll as Carolina’s first students. Over the next few decades, the college established itself as one of the premier institutions in the country, eventually becoming the Uni versity of South Carolina. On January 10,2001, we will initiate a yearlong celebration of the university’s bicentennial with a ceremony at 11 a.m. on the Horseshoe, followed immediately by a free Celebration Picnic in front of the Russell House. I encourage you to join us and take part in this historic day. The procession will start at 10:45 am., and we suggest you arrive by 10:30 a.m. on the Horseshoe. Although classes do not begin until Jan. 16, all campus residence halls will open at noon on Jan. 9. If you live on the Horseshoe, please plan to arrive on Jan. 9, as traffic, securi ty and final set-up preparations will make parking and moving in on Jan. 10 difficult. In case of inclement weather, the cer emony will take place in the Roger Cen ter for the Arts, and the picnic will be held in the Carolina Coliseum concourse. ■ Throughout 2001, the campus will host events highlighting Carolina’s past, present and future. McKissick Museum will have an exhibit on student life at Car olina. There will be a number of plays, art exhibits and academic conferences. This year’s writers’ festival will feature Pulitzer Prize-winning author William Styron and mystery writer Sue Grafton, among oth ers. You can see the schedule of events by visiting the bicentennial Web site at www.sc.edu/bicentennial. John Palms President, University of South Carolina December graduates, do you have any parting thoughts? E-mail us. Afternoon Siestas Everyone could use a daily nap It’s 1 p.m. and I’m yawning. Exhaustion is a trend I’ve enjoyed since well before my college career began, and it’s something I can expect until my retirement 30 or 40 years from now. When we’re young, we have a con tinuous hyper-drive. It’s a natural eneigy boost that makes us want to stay up late and never go to sleep because we might miss something cool if we do. Pete Johnson is a senior journalism major. He writes every Friday. He can be reached at gamecockview points ©hotmail.com Somewhere early on in high school, I lost this drive and began craving the lost American pastime, the nap. Just when did Americans stop curling up under a tree in the grass to make like Rip Van Winkle and get some shut-eye? It seems, in this technology-dominated age, our obsession for the stock markef now occupies the majority of our free time, turn ing many Americans into chronic .worka holics. It seems that the only thing that keeps us awake is the fact that we swill massive amounts of caffeine all day until our bodies jitter and shake with false energy. Some of us even pop a Ritalin here and there. I don’t know anybody who likes stress. I don’t think there is a person alive who does. We all endure some stress from time to time, but our lives shouldn’t revolve around stress and how to manage all of the things we need to accomplish. Working through stress throughout your lifetime will only create plenty of time for you do nothing but tend to your ulcer when you retire. Personally, I’d much rather enjoy a nap every afternoon. All places of business should encourage workers to bring in one of those kindergarten nap mats so they can curl up for an hour each day to regenerate. It would definitely boost morale and create a .more relaxed working environment. There are days when I’m bouncing off the walls with energy, but those days are few and far between. I’m usually overloaded and exhausted. Sleep is a high priority that oftentimes cannot be met. Happiness is to just to curl up and dream the afternoon away. Don’t believe the stereotype that Mex icans are lazy. They just value their time more than Americans ever could, and they show it in the form of an afternoon siesta. I think America needs to take a tip from Mex ico in this department. Here’s the blueprint: American businesses will tell our work force to start arriving at work at 10 rather than 9 each miming. Eveiy day at about one, they are given a two hour break. This is plen ty of time to eat a laige lunch and take an hour-long nap. Then everyone will come back to work refreshed and stay until 7 or 8 at night. Then, after work, you can choose to either go home or hit the local watering-hole to booze the night away. Yup, that’s the life. OK, so getting drunk every night isn’t exactly my idea of fun, but I could stand an occasional sloshing without the worry of hav ing to be up before 8 a.m. for work. America is by far the most productive ( nation in the world, but only because we’re all workaholics. We dread the coming of each new week and celebrate when the weekend is fast ap proaching. Isn’t it a little troublesome that we don’t enjoy our work? We should be passionate about our jobs, but it is incredibly hard to look forward to work every day when each new day Is fill with a feeling of despair at be ing stuck there from nine to five. So, I stand up for our overworked, under-rested Amer ican work force when I quote Shelley: “Rise like lions after slumber in unvanquishable number — Shake your chains to earth like dew which in sleep had fallen on you — ye are many — they are few.”