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J Weekend Excursion sickens you with 'radioactive' misery by Charles Prashaw Gamecock Critic What can I say about the band Wfeekend Excursion and their new album, Radioactive? While I usually like anything out of the whole N.C. scene (Ben Folds Five and, to a degree, Squirrel Nut Zippers), these Greensboro natives have failed to produce a good album. But if .you are a 14-year-old girl, this is the album for you. Fust of all, the songwriting sucks. Could you guys write a song that isn't about teen-age love? “La, la, la. 1 need you now. La, la, la.” What the heck is that? Come on. For God’s sake, the only song on this album that isn’t about teen-age love is the second track, “Leave it Behind,” which is the only listenable song on the whole CD. My problem with that song is that it doesn't really say anything. Just check out these lyrics to the third song, “Break Away”: “Your scent remains beneath my sheets/why did you leave/you could have stayed for a while/there’s only so much I can do/I sit and long for ytfh.” Oh my God, is that horrible or what? I have heard radio commercials that hadmore of an impact on me. I don’t know; it just doesn’t say anything profound. Try something catchy. I’m not a songwriter, but maybe something like, “Every rose has a thorn,” or “So much to say, so much to do...” I just want a little more to the lyrics than, “There’s only so much I can do/I sit and long for you.” Supposedly, a few of the guys in the band graduated from the Uni versity of North Carolina. If they did, what the heck were their ma jors? It sure wasn’t English! Apparently, the band has a big college following, but I can’t see how too many college students could listen to this. This really sounds like run-of-the-mill crap if you ask me. I don’t really care if Weekend Excursion hits it big or not. This still isn’t de cent music. Why is there so much about teen-age love? I wonder if the guys in Weekend Excursion were actually trying to make an album for 14-year-old girls? And who else knows more about teen-age love than 25-year-old college grads, let me tell you. These guys must be the soft-rock ver sion of the Backstreet Boys. They also almost remind me of a third-rate Hootie and the Blowfish. What kind of people go through this so-called “teen-age love” stuff anyway? I don't know about you, but when I was 13 or 14,1 was more wonied about getting a car than about being involved with girls. Also, does every song have to sound like the one before it? Hel lo, I bought an album so I could listen to a wide range of songs, not just one song that sounds like the one before. Try a different chord, please. Just hear me out. If the guys in Weekend Excursion want to hit it big and produce a halfway decent album, try something different. Yes, repeat after me, D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-T. No one wants to hear the same old crappy pop love music just rearranged. Be different and find your own sound. You know what the scary thing is? These guys have actually made something of a break in the music business because the band has made it onto the hit teen-age soap opera “Daw son’s Creek.” I can imagine my little 13-year old female cousin having a poster of this band on her wall and telling me about how Sam Fisher, the singer, “is, like, oh my God, the cutest.” And that’s probably the only thing good to come of this: I have a gift idea for my cousin now. wmimmmm Artist: Weekend Excursion Album: Radioactive Rating: iV out of Reviewer s advice: Don t get up again by Charles Prashaw Gamecock Critic What happened to British rock music? What, you lose an empire and your whole music scene goes to hell? Look what came out of England in the 1960s and 70s: The Beat les, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Cream, Black Sabbath, even The Who and the Yardbirds. Now look at the Spice Girls, Oasis and Chumbawamba. What happened? British Prime Minister Tony Blair should make a new law making crappy music a felony. That should be Eng land’s No. 1 concern right now. Forget mad cow disease, the European Union and the decline of British manufactur ing. You guys need to work on the state of modem British music first. Has England turned into an island full of wussies or what? Chumbawamba's new album, What You See Is What You Get, says something, but the verdict on what it’s saying is still out. Well, what can you say: If you liked Chumbawamba’s first CD, Tub thumping, you’ll probably like this one. But that chick’s voice in this band really gets on your nerves after the third song. The songs don’t make any kind of sense, even if you were high. Why am I even reviewing this horrible CD? If I were in Chumbawamba, I would take that couple of million dollars and retire. Please, before that kind of music is all I hear on the radio. For once, I’m justified in cracking on a CD. Just check out some of the song titles. “Hey Hey, We’re the Junkies” is like some parody of the Monkees song. Who the heck is Chumbawamba to make fun of the Monkees? That is like two minor league ball players making fun of each other. As for some of the other songs, like “Moses with a Gun” and “I’m With Stupid,” the titles speak for the quality of the thought behind them. I was trying to do a little research on Chumbawamba on the Internet, but didn't find much. Here is something weird, though: The multi-member Chumbawamba was actually an anarchist group formed in Leeds, England, out of a house hold in the shadow of Amiley jail. The band was made up of members who lived communally. You know, I would have never guessed. Usually, when you think anarchist, you think of guys throwing Molotov cocktail in the street, not performers of bad music. One day when I’m old and gray. I'll be doing a crossword puzzle like a loser and number 51 down is going to be, “What’s an 11-word name for a crappy British band?” I just hope I’ll still be able to spell “Chumbawamba.” Lastly, what is up with the cover? It’s one dog humping another! Is this some illustration of what they did to the world with that “Tubthumping” song? _ CHUMBAWAMBA Artist: Chumbawamba Album: WYSIWYG Rating: ft out of ftftftft Mitchell breaks no new ground by Patrick Rathbun Gamecock Critic You won't find any new material on Joni Mitchell's soon-to-be-released al bum, Both Sides Now. But what you will find is Mitchell singing with pas sion and conviction to symphonic mu sic. Both Sides Now isn't really a de parture for Mitchell, but can be said to be something different. On the album, one can hear violins, violas, cellos, bass es, a harp, flutes, oboes, clarinets, bas soons, trumpets, trombones, a tuba, piano and saxophones, but the focus of the album is on Mitchell's vocals. Both Sides Now is a theme album that traces the progression of a roman tic relationship from its flirty beginnings to its emotional, thought-provoking end. And this progression is effective. With the wide range of instruments and Mitchell singing with her heart, this con cept album is successful and innovative. If nothing else, Mitchell has ex panded her range and demonstrated she still has artistic thirsts. She is widely con sidered a multi-faceted artist - a jazz musician, a pop-rock singer as well as a folkie. Mitchell has shown range and creative hunger in the past with albums including the electronic Dog Eat Dog (1985), the jazzy Chalkmark in a Rainstorm (1988) and the folk-rocky Ladies of the Canyon (1970). Looking at Mitchell’s body of work is analogous to watching the growth of a musician. Mitchell has gone from flowerchild to pop critic to jazz singer and become all the more cynical for the evolution. In Mitchell’s work, one can see the ever-hungiy artist, ready to explore new challenges and conquer them, too. Of course, this exploration is criticized, but it should be viewed as a kind of reflec tion and not a compromise. Both Sides Now is not an exception to this devel opment. Mitchell’s songwriting might not expand, but her voice might be di versified. Fans should give Both Sides Now a listen without expecting “Big Yel low Taxi.” Until Mitchell has another bunt of creativity, I'll be content lis tening to what she has already given. Artist: Joni Mitchell Album: Both Sides Now Rating: out of sS'ifriS'sS- •