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Quote, Unquote ‘My philosophy is,' if I get a pitch to hit early in the count, then I’m going to take my hack at it.’* Nate Janowicz, USC right fielder Whc (Bamecock Editorial Board Kenley Young • Editor in Chief Brad Walters • Managing Editor Brock Vergakis • Viewpoints Editor Peter Johnson • Assistant Viewpoints Editor Emily Streyer • Editorial Contributor Cutting hurricane bill endangers coast ov. Jim Hodges asked the state Legislature for $5 million to solve some of the state’s communication problems before hurricane season comes again, but the House Ways and Means committee irresponsibly denied his request. Only $3 million dollars was allotted for Hodges’ program, but even more frightening is that the money for radio towers along the coast to improve communication cannot even be used until July, after hurricane season has begun. This is a serious mistake, and the Legislature needs to recognize it before a disaster strikes. Waiting until hurricane season begins before taking any action to safeguard residents from harm’s way is absolutely ludicrous. When Hurricane Floyd threatened the South Carolina coast, massive evacuation problems ensued from a major miscommunica tion problem among state agencies. It took some evacuees as many as 13 hours to get from Charleston to Columbia. If the hurricane had been moving any quicker, major losses in life could have occurred. The lane reversal on 1-26 took too long to complete, and improved communications from state agencies might have made the process go much more smoothly. The primary responsibility of any government should be to look out for the general welfare and safety of its constituents. Denying the governor’s budgetary request and delaying the use of funds until hurricane season has already begun shows a blatant dis regard for the personal safety of every South Carolinian living on the coast. WUSC provides valuable news service Two of USC’s Student Media camps will begin a partnership today, as WUSC FM, the university’s student radio station, will start airing spots featuring The Gamecock’s top news headlines of the day. WUSC will broadcast the spots at 8:30 a.m., noon and 5:30 p.m. every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and will include any other information The Gamecock needs to share with the Caroli na community. The Gamecock appreciates WUSC’s help in the task of in forming the public, and we applaud the station for assuming such a responsibility. In addition to exposing its listeners to the latest in diverse, cutting-edge music, WUSC can now keep them abreast of current events, as well. For you WUSC fans, it’s more bang for your student activity bucks. You can enjoy your music while staying well-informed. For Carolina students in general, it’s just one more way Student Me dia is looking out for you. Find 90.5 FM on your radio dial and tune in for the best in new music and the latest in USC news. The Gamecock is the student newspaper of The University of South Carolina and is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editors or author and not those of The University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper's parent organization. The Gamecock is supported in part by student activities fees. Adores* ™E Gamecock The Gamecock Amy Godding 1400 Greene Street £ Tra,is Lyn" Columbia. SC 29208 Brad "a™? Ph0,°Edl,ors Managing Editor Will Gillaspy Offices on third floor of the Russell House. Brock Vergakis On/ine Editor Student Media Area code 803 Viewpoints Editor Peter Johnson Advertising 777-3888 clayton ““ ■Asst- Viewpoints Editor Classified 777-1184 News Editor Kelly Haggerty paj, 777-6482 Brandon Larrabee Patrick Rathbun nffjrp 7770Q00 Associate News Editor Asst. News Editors Rebecca Cronican MacKenzie Craven Gamecock Area code 803 Ann Marie Miani Asst. EtCetera Editor Editor gcked0sc.edu 777-3914 EtCetera Editors Elizabeth Rod News gcknews0sc.edu 777-7726 David Cloninger Asst. Sports Editor Viewpoints gckviews0sc.edu 777-7181 Shannon Rooke Rob Fleming Etc. gcketcOsc.edu 777-3913 Sports Editors Asst. Encore Editor Encore! gamecockencore0hotmail.com 777-3913 Kristin Freestate Charles Prashaw Sports gcksports0sc.edu 777-7182 Copy Desk Chief Shawn Singleton Online www.gamecock.sc.edu 777-2833 Renee Oligny Charlie Wallace Submission Policy Copy Editor Senior Writers Loners .0 the edi.or or goes, columns are welcorr* “X" E Confute, from all members of the Carolina community. Letters should be 250-300 words. Guest columns should be an DENT ED*A 4 Ann 7nn Ellen Parsons Business Manager opinion piece of about 600-700 words. D,/ec(or Sherry Holmes Both must include name, phone number, profes- Susan King Classified Manager sional title or year and major, if a student. Handwritten Creative Director Erik Collins submissions must be personally delivered to Russell Kris Black Faculty Adviser House room 333. E-mail ibmissions must include J^fie Burnett Jonathan Dunagin telephone number for conf rmation. Tadd Hooks Graduate Assistant The Gamecock reserves the rrght to edit for libel. Betsy Martin Bobyn Gombar style and snare Anonymous ietters w.tl not he m,h- Keth, Van Nostrand Gina McMvey College Press Exchange I BILL! I 1 IF YOU CAN READ THIS I You re too. DAMN Close! Beirea Give Her a LiirLe MORE SPACe..... \ National Issues Satan appears on 'Letterman' The fol lowing transcript from “Late Night with David Letter man” is the third install ment of a quasi fictional ac count of what might happen if Satan and Jesus both ran for president of the United States of America in 2000: LETTER MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming our next guest. He is a best-selling author, a wealthy business tycoon and the Republican nom inee for president of the United States of America, the Prince of Darkness — Satan. [crowd cheers] SATAN: Thank you. It’s great to be here Dave. LfTTERMAN: Satan, I would like to talk for a second about the past few months. Earlier in the year, you steam-rolled over each of the republi can candidates to win the Republican nomination. You currently own a sub stantial lead on your Democratic oppo nent, Jesus of Nazareth, and have real ly asserted yourself as the leader of this race. The American people have rallied behind you and your beliefs, and I just want to know how you’re connecting so Well with the voters of this country. SATAN: Well, Dave, I think the reason I have been embraced by so many Americans is that we all share a dream. You see, Americans are fed up with Washington bureaucrats who never leave their offices in D.C. But not me, Dave, not me. I’ve been on the streets of Amer ica for many, many years, listening to the dreams of the people of this great country, mid being the benevolent guy that I am, 1 can make anyone's dream a reality. LETTERMAN: Of course, they have to sell their souls to you, rght? SATAN: Well, of course. But look what good it’s done for people like Michael Jordan, A1 Gore, Keanu Reeves, Heidi Klum, Rush Limbaugh, and Brit ney Spears. These are just a handful of the millions of “business associates” [Sa tan makes quotation gesture] I have en countered over the years. LETTERMAN: Wow, they all sold their souls to you? SATAN: Of course they did! One of the many things that I've learned in the thousands of years that I’ve watched humans is that you will do anything for power and fame. You will lie to your families, steal from your neighbors, and step on whomever you must to get you one step higher to the top. In fact, hu mans have even showed me a thing or two about evil, especially you Ameri cans. LETTERMAN: Satan, of all the fa mous people you’ve done business with this century, who would be at the top of your list — Hitler? SATAN: Actually, Dave, 1 had noth ing to do with Hitler. He killed 6 mil lion Jews for the sake of Christianity. He wanted to purify the world so the Earth would be free of Jews when Je sus returned. It all seems kind of iron ic, because Jesus is a Jew, but that brings me to an interesting point, Dave. Look at all the evil that has taken place in the name of Jesus: Nazism, segrega tion, the Crusades, the Inquisition — the American people need to realize I had nothing to do with any of that. LETTERMAN: Good point. Now before you go, Satan, tell us one more time why people should vote for you in November. SATAN: Sure, Dave. I am running for president of the United States of America because the people of this coun try want change. The people of this coun try don’t want to lose a third of their in come to taxes! Jesus says the meek shall inherit the earth. Well, right now, the meek are inheriting the earth-through your tax dollars! My zero percent flat tax allows americans to keep every pen ny they earn. No longer will social pro grams like Welfare, Social Security and Medicare take money from the great people of this country. If Johnny Amer ica wants to buy his wife a diamond ring, then he shouldn’t have to feel guilty if his neighbor can’t afford to put food on the table. He shouldn’t have to give his hard-earned money to someone who isn't smart enough to manageTiis. And that’s why my slogan is “Survival of the Fittest.” My name is Satan, and I’m run ning for president of the United States of America, and I truly will give Amer ica back to the people. . TO HE CONTINUED ... Jeremy Touzel is a math senior. He can be reached at gamecock viewpoints® hotmail.com . College Press Exchange I'U. BE , DARNED. H£ DIDN'T LET ■me screen DOOR HiT HiM.... Campus Issues SG funding NAACP unjust Once again, the stu dent senate is on the ] verge of advancing a divisive multicultural agenda while trampling on the individual liberties and constitutional rights of many objecting students. • In previous yean, the senate has allocated student activity fees to organiza tions that are not represen tative of the student pop ulation and that often advocate political and ide ological views which many find reprehensible. The sen ate Finance Committee’s proposed appropriations of student activity fees prove this year will be no different. While one could write a book on the Fi nance Committee's dubious allocations, 1 limit these present observations to their most flagrant abuse of power: the illegal and unconstitutional funding of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. According to Student Government financial codes, funding of student political organizations is explicitly prohibited. Furthermore, Supreme Court precedent and a recent Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals decision in Southworth v. Grebe, 151 F. 3d 717 (7th Cir. 1998), clearly shows that com pelled funding of student organizations that engage in political and ideological activities violates the constitutional rights of free speech guaranteed under the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitu tion. The only way the Finance Committee can jus tify allocating funds to the NAACP is to claim that it is not a political organization, but one look at the facts proves this group is very political. Not only does the NAACP participate in po litical activity, but it also represents the worst as Dects of the current political scene in America. It has consistently played on people’s fear, prejudice, and ignorance for personal gain, and its leaders habitually fill their speeches with race-baiting ploys and demagoguery. Always quick to place blame on others, the NAACP seldom offers any real answers to the problems that face the black community. Has the NAACP come forward with any plausible so lutions to improve education, alleviate poverty, re duce crime, and lower illegitimacy and teen-age pregnancy rates? If it has, then I am unaware of them, or its efforts are not working. Instead of focusing on the actual troubles in the black community, the NAACP lias centered its “pro gressive” agenda on arbitrary issues such as removing a harmless flag and putting more blacks on network television programming. Will the lives of black peo ple be improved by the NAACP’s agenda? Will more black children be removed from poverty and have better educational opportunities when the Confederate flag comes down? Will crime dimin ish when there are more blacks on television? These are, of course, silly questions, because the answers are undeniably no. The motives behind the NAACP’s tactics are obvious: It wants media attention to at tract new members and increase its own political newer I doubt anyone would deny that the NAACP has the right to engage in these political activities, no matter how deplorable and racist they are. Yet there is absolutely no reason why students who ob ject to the organization’s political and ideological goals should be forced to subsidize it. Many sup porters will justify the funding of the NAACP by pointing out that very little of each student’s ac tivity fee goes to the organization. While this may be true, they are missing the point. Our liberty and fidelity to principle cannot be sacrificed, no mat ter what price our would-be masters offer. I remind you of what Alexis de Tocqueville observed in “Democracy in America”: “It is especially danger ous to enslave men in the minor details of life.... It does not drive men to resistance, but it crosses them at every turn, till they are led to surrender the exercise of their will.” Every day, our liberties are threatened, but we are fortunate to live in a country that was found ed on freedom. If the spirit of our founding fa thers still lives within us, then it’s our duty to fight for independence and resist oppression just as they did more than 200 years ago. There is still time to protect our liberty, so I encourage all students to contact their respective senators. Tell them not to give your money to a racist organization like the NAACP and remind them of what the father of the Constitution, James Madison, keenly declared: “To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbe lieves, is sinful and tyrannical.” f V> Brandon Gaskins is a guest colum nist. He can be reached at gamecock . viewpoints® hotmail.com