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EtCetera The Gamecock, The Tiger face off in an editor's duel € by Sara Ladenheim Editor in Chief, The Gamecock e many South Carolinians are busy making that life ering decision as to whether they should attend Car na or Clemson, as a native New Yorker, I knew from day one that going to school where the cows are louder than the traffic was not for me. From the moment I made the decision to come to Caroli na, I knew the words “Clemson sucks” would be repeated al most as much as “Go Cocks!” If you take these facts about Clemson into consideration, it’s easy to understand why a city girl like me made the right choice. Fust, it’s important to note that Clemson bases its exis tence on support from alumni who represent such prestigious fields as turf management. Turf management, you say? Yes, turf management is ac tually a major that awards a bachelor of science degree. Defined in the Clemson course catalog as “the manage ment of the playing fields of ancient and modem sports,” turf management is basically the major that supplies people into the work force who literally watch the grass grow. Seriously, people, they have a major in this field. Try that one out in front of USC’s faculty senate and see how far you get. Clemson also supplies a majority of South Carolina’s core of teachers, whom we all know have led their students to the worst academic record in the country. Obviously, if they will let you major in watching the grass grow, they probably don’t care if teachers are learning to teach ACBs instead of ABCs. In fact, to add insult to injury, the weekly campus publi cation, The Tiger, features a two-page spread the week be fore class registration listing the top 10 classes for the up coming semester. Surprisingly, just last week, longtime best-class winner i ..—~ newest addition to the prestigious Clemson course book. Here’s the list as it was printed in The Tiger. 10. “Jesus may be a friend of mine, but he’s no friend of fertilizer,” instructed by the Rev. Bob Jones, adjunct faculty and pres ident and founder of Bob Jones University. 9. “Tips for cows: how not to break a rib.” 8. “The greener the grass, the nicer the ass: the best fields for grazing donkeys.” 7. “Chemistry for sexual offenders.” 6. “Tools for trucks.” 5. “How to start a fish farm [it ain’t as easy as it looks, folks].” 4. “How to get into ‘ the best’ sorority, marry a rich ‘planter’ and make the best sweet tea this side of the Congaree.” 3. “Enunciation 101: Clemson can be said without the ‘p.’” 2. “Orange and purple: how to become colorblind to the obvious clash.” 1. “Theft of a theme: the tiger, the song and the ‘tradition’ of Clemson.” Of course, The Gamecock received permission to reprint the list, as we come out three times a week, unlike The Tiger, and as we cater to an audience of students who can read the print even if it hasn’t been blown up to this size: “theft of a theme:...” While it is also important to note that The Tiger only comes out once a week (since its average readers take that long to fin ish the first one before they can concentrate on the next), nev er lose sight of the fact that the entire publication is printed in size 50 font, either. In a perfect world, all South Carolinians would unite in support of one common school. However, since the world is not perfect, everyone reading this column is aware of one thing: USC is better then Clemson, and it took a Yankee to finally tell y’all the truth. Go Cocks! by Jonathan Hayes Editor in Chief, The Tiger here comes a time in every South Carolinian’s life when he is forced to make a vital choice for the rest of his life — the choice between Clemson and USC. Often, parental guidance leads the way in helping the young to make this rather significant decision. When parental guidance is not available or is evenly split, one must carefully consider the evidence before him and choose wisely. I spoke recently with a soon-to-be freshman who was faced with this arduous task. His initial findings for the question at hand were the sum of reports on athletics, the easiest information to obtain about the two schools. I am proud to report that The Best University in South Car olina has dominated this category of late, with an absurd 15-1 head-to-head record over the past two years in all team sports. It is also important to note that TBUSC, in the most pop ular sport (football), has the upper hand in head-to-head match es and postseason play, including the most coveted national championship. Experts agree that this domination is likely to continue in the future, spearheaded by a laige victory in tomorrow’s game. TBUSC 1, USC 0. Our young prodigy believes that there is more to life than athletics, so he naturally considered the academic records of the schools. Unfortunately, Gamecock fans, TBUSC also dominates this category. , Since both universities are ranked in the same tier according to US. News & World Report, one could conclude that the academic programs are closer together than the athletic pro grams. After a closer inspection of the evidence, however, one finds that TBUSC beats USC in almost every indicator and makes an appearance on the list of 50 top public universities at number 38 (tied with Aubum). USC, however, does not make the list (tied with the Col lege of Charleston, Francis Marion and South Carolina State University). TBUSC 2, USC 0. The aspiring student also feels that there is virtue in serv ing mankind. Although USC won the contest last year, the Clemson Carolina Blood Drive competition has been dominated by TBUSC since its inception. TBUSC’s 11-3 record in the highly publicized event is one example of its superior dedication to philanthropy. TBUSC 3, USC 0. Location, location, location. Although trite, this cliche still has an important underlying truth. Our young friend cares, as many do, about where he will spend four years of his life. TBUSC is nestled in the foothills of the Appalachians;-USC is in Columbia. Enough said. TBUSC 4, USC 0. Finally, the individual, wise beyond his years, decided to invest his time by working for a student newspaper. The clear choice is TBUSC, as The Tiger, even without the support of a journalism school, has walloped The Game cock with eight first-place victories at the South Carolina Press Association’s Best in the State competition in the past 11 years. TBUSC 5, USC 0. All said and told, the prudent choice is indisputable. The young man, after weighing his options, wisely chose Clemson. Clemson has shown that it has been and will con tinue to be worthy of the title of the Best University in South Carolina. Go Tigers! -1 ANIME from page 8 Even antagonists are not completely without redemption; they, too, have then own motives, dreams and hopes. A certain moral and spiritual optimism in favor of things like villains reforming is more visi ble in anime. 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