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Sports Shawn Singleton Singleton 3:16 Negative criticism a l given right "sliny is not something by hance, it is something by hoice. It is not something to be wished for, but something to be attained. — William Jennings Bryan “Gigolos and gold diggers, cretins of all ages, it’s time for the one man who does it all for the nookie, so you can I take a cookie and stick it up your“ Shut the hell up, announcer boy, for I am not in the mood. Before I tell all the good readers out there why I am so pissed off, let us observe a moment of silence for Walter Payton. The NFL lost a running back, an ambassador and a legend. As a child, I watched Payton set records with some woeful Cliicago teams, including a 275 yard performance in a loss to Minnesota in 1979, a single-game record that still stands. It was said that he was the only back who could have a 5-yard loss de scribed as “beautiful.” He wasn’t the fastest runner, he would have to break four or more tack les to break off a 40-yard run. It was his heart that helped him gain an NFL record 16,726 yards and the nickname “Sweetness.” Sadly, he did not score a touchdown in the one game that he toiled to get to for years without recognition: Super Bowl XX. Even more sad was the fact that Payton’s career ended with a loss to the Redskins in the ‘87 playoffs, falling 1 yard short on a fourth-and-sev en. It is very fitting that Payton’s auto biography, due out in February is titled “Never Die Easy.” Those were the words said to Payton by his college coach at Jackson State. Those were the words he played his whole career by and the words he died by. Walter, thank you for the years you gave the fans of Chicago and the world. Our hearts and prayers go out to the Payton family, hoping that Walter’s new journey is a fruitful one. Now that I’ve written this sappy tribute, it is now time to write about what is really leaving me ticked. It has been brought to the attention of Don Singletonio that Steve Woods was fired from The State Snooze for, of all crimes, telling the truth about Carolina football. These cowards didn’t even have the testicular fortitude to stand by an employee. Never mind that Wbods was one of the most popular columnists for that lame newspaper. As a student at USC, I totally agreed with Woods on his assessment that this university spends too much money on a lame football team. The Bates House computer lab is the worst on campus, yet students pay an exorbi tant “technology” fee that is supposed to go toward this. Put the money where it is most needed and not on a winless team. As for the most phallic of team nicknames, which Woods hated, by the way, I would have to disagree with him on that. Where else in America can you get away with saying “Cocks” without getting slapped? Maybe we should go back to putting that lovely word on the cheerleaders’ undercarriages. We were actually winning when that was in ef fect, but Dr. McGoo and the rest of the feminazis wouldn’t stand for that. What does this mean for everyone else who uses the media to express their First Amendment rights when it per tains to the Lameducks? Will I be fired for the very column that I am writing? Will Maurice Stanfield be fired from WCTG-AM for telling the truth? Will David Cloninger be fired for giving neg ative, but factual, accounts of how our football team sucks? Has this city become a police state run by our athletics department? Has Mike McGee become our fascist dicta tor? McGee even has his sidekick stooges in Kevin Cohen and Teddy Hefner. If you ever heard these two speak, you would think our football ........ team was 9-0 and defending the Sears Trophy instead of in the midst of the nation’s longest losing streak. What you see on the field is entirely different from what you will hear on their show. Have the citizens of this state be come mindless idiots who will listen to any fluff given to them to divert the fact that this team is in the midst of a 19 game losing streak with no end in sight? This is what our destiny has be come as a city and as a university. The truth has become an evil thing. We can not say anything derogatory about this »' football team, although the team is 0-9, Courtney Leavitt couldn’t kick a bad habit and Jermale Kelly can’t catch a cold. Maybe telling the truth once in a while could jump-start a team. This exciting season of USC foot ball has been brought to you by Stayffee Tampons, because like the Gamecocks, they don’t carry a second string and they only last for one period. As proven as his record is as a coach, Lou Holtz is not God. While all you butt-kissers reach for the oxygen, not even the man Gamecock fans liken to Jesus could turn crap into gold. As I have said before, this is not a good foot ball team by anyone’s standards, espe cially in the Southeastern Conference. Maybe Holtz has outcoached his time. Maybe the years have passed him by. Maybe the game has passed him by. Maybe it’s time he hung up the head phones. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken this high-stress job that came with un reasonably high expectations. How do the lifetime fans suffer ■ week after week, and do they want to do this to their children? This has the Department of Social Services written all over it. Let’s see what happens to me after this column is printed. Will I go out like Stevoe, or will the “fans” here rally be hind the truth and demand a better product? For that to happen, we would need a major overhaul of the program, from the athletics director on down. Other wise, our destiny will continue to be one of defeat by choice. Somewhere in the state of the peach tree, Stevoe is smiling, for he knows that he was right and he had the right to be that way. Maybe someday, we will realize it as well. Shawn Singleton is a Gamecock senior writer. You can reach him at gamecocksports@hotmail.com. Begins at USC OXFAM CAROLINA Call 799-7363 or 799-0212 for more <| information ■ —— ! Tuesday, November 16th lit HUNGER BANQUET (s come and experience the world’s reality! Entertainment by Thomas Reed Band 6pm- Capstone Campus Room $3 for students- $5 for everyone else Wednesday, November 17th DAY OF FAST Give up your lunch on your meal plan and Marriott will give the money to Oxfam America to be used to help fight hunger. SIGN UP at Oxfam tables at dining halls this week! (Donations accepted from those without the meal plan.) THANKSGIVING AND HUNGER REMEMBRANCE 2:30pm on Greene St. on the Day of Fast (just after Sculpt-lt-For-The-Hungry) Intramural Swim Meet Entries Open: Monday, November 8 Entries Close: Thursday, November 11 Event Date: Sunday, November 14 The following events will be offered for men and women: 200 yard Medley Relay 50 yard Freesyle 50 yard Backstroke 100 yard Individual Medley 100 yard Freestyle 50 yard Breaststroke 50 yard Butterfly 200 yard Freestyle Relay No Entry Fee Open to all USC Students, Faculty, and Staff Sign up at the Office of Campus Recreation, 202 Blatt PE Center. Call 777-5261 for more information www. sa. sc.edu/pecenter/im. htm Mit&c &TUP<T ww t b« s»(enf! .... ' ” ' ' ‘ Get involved, and let your voice be heard. | €K 1 London 211 Paris 229 Barcelona 274 Amsterdam 255 From Columbia eac! way based on a rt pur chase. Fares do not include taxes, are valid for departures in November and are subject to change. 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