The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, August 14, 1998, Page Page 8A, Image 8
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In the ongoing search for truth, justice
and
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; night, I frequent
a
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ments in
the area. I
feel these
are the best
places to
RichardM. Gregg
columnist pulse of the
people, except
for
strip clubs, where you can typically get
a lot more than a pulse. Not that I ever
frequent these types of clubs, but I do
pass them on my way to the Christian
Science Reading Room (Ed. Note:
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pulled muscles and cramps, caused by
hysterical laughter). Anyway, on one
of my excursions mi the town, I couldn't
help but overhear a conversation by
two female students.
They started out by complaining
that there were no real men left. Now
this got me into a panic. "No real men.
No real men! Why then, the aliens from
the Planet ZZZXXRUG must be manufacturing
fake men and replacing us
one by one. Where are Mulder and Scully
when we need them? Ahhhhhhh!!!"
After my companion assured me
that my alcohol soaked brain had dulled
my reasoning ability I picked back up
the conversation. One of the ladies was
now whining about how she had it so
tough at school because her computer
wasn't fast enough.
Now this really got me to thinking.
And the more thinking I did the madder
I got. Students today have it much
too easy at school.
if
\
8^5^ 70^
lifetime kli
Specializing in
clothing over-runs &
irregulars from your
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at about 1/2 the
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tits to t<
Of course the USC Administration
(motto: We don't care, and it shows)
more than makes up for it with a bureaucracy
so asinine and unbelievably
ridiculous that it must take rejected
postal workers to fill the jobs that deal
with students (think about that).
Anyway, my point is that the students,
myself included, are so pampered
with computer labs and fafl
breaks and receiving 90% A's given by
most teachers (under penalty of slow
torture by the students attorneys) that
we are not being properly prepared for
the dog eat dog real world.
Can you imagine someone whining
to Bill Gates that her computer is too
slow?
He would say he would look into it,
then send in a team of ruthless corporate
executives to beat the s? out
of her. Then he would get an idea out
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Now back in my undergrad days,
students had to (gasp) use word processors
to write their papers on.
Talk about fun, those things were
more frustrating than watching professional
soccer. We also had to park
halfway across campus and walk in
eighty degree weather to class (hey, I'm
from Miami), carrying our books without
book-bags!
And grades, forget about it. In one
of my classes the professor gave (and
I am not making this up) one A to a
class of 150.
Of course he had to take an extended
leave after a mob of 149 chased
after him with pitchforks and torches.
Now this was schooling meant to
prepare you for the unbelievable weenies
that inevitably become your boss.
So I propose the following changes to
toughen up the students:
First, hire some of the American
Gladiators to roam the hallway of the
HM
PREREQ
Drive. Intensity,
words you're likely
course re quire me ]
Army ROTC is un
elective. It's han
mei^t. ROTC will
mentally and ]
through intense
training. Training
THE SI
T"?
rc
J
Carolina C
Welcomt
As a stude<
Along wit
On-Cc
Located at the Hi
Fr<
F
CALL
CARP
710 Pui
(803) 251-8474 1-800-47
us up
buildings so as to make reaching cla
more of an adventure. I bet having
tro firing rubber balls at 80 MPH w
improve those reflexes.
Second, every paper turned in mu
be written in Sanskrit. Now let's s
how well the spell checks work.
Third, the number of A's given ir
class will be determined by a compl
formula including the students sh
sizes, the phase of the moon and he
much money each student can come \
with for the newly formed teacher's i
lief fund; and
Fourth, E-Mail will be replaci
by the Pony Express where studen
must grab for their messages off of
moving horse while bandits lurk in tl
bushes. These changes should pr
pare our students to compete again
the Harvard and Stanford graduat
in the real world.
Or at least help get them contrac
with the WCW.
Ipi mam H
uisulad!
Those aren't your chari
r to see in many decision-]
ats. Then again words otfte
like any other But they're
ds-on excite- succeed ir
challenge you freshmen i
ohysically rTeADERSHiSl out ob]
leadership r^T^I aboutfh
\ that builds ister this
ARMY ROTC
MARTEST COLLEGE COURSE YOU
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pt^I^
It well
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is you back to the
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ree Nightwatch Ser
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CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
RENAL1NE
acter, confidence and
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the credits you need to
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