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Page 6 Close to Home John M 7-'1 ?:' \ ib? ~~ 1%, | \ \ S Press Syndicate \ \ ^ "OK, what'd y beer bottle ( U9MI I Aries (March 21'April 19): V i ne aay win go normal as usual, d x .'-It the night will be something to LX?i remember. While changing into yo teddy bear pi's, you'll be abducted by aliens ai taken to the Crab Nebula. You will return unharmed, but you will have a strange protrusit from your left calf. Do not mess with it; it is yo life source. Taurus (April 20-May 20): Take time to appreciate the little thini \kj~yr today, like that guy that keeps vSHZLJ following you where ever you go, shouting "Sir, you forgot your jock strap, sir...' Give a twenty and tell him to go away. He migf not, but it's worth a shot. \f \ Gemini (May 21-June 21): 9(il* Kill your dog. It's trying to overthrc uj the Bulgarian government and we LTl r really don't want to mess with Bulgaria right now. Also, while you're at it, kill your cat for peeing on your bed last week. CTF-33 Cancer (June 22-July 22f. ET iR Your parents will stop by out-ofYfC^C) J the-blue some time today, so get <*Srid ot the empty Vodka and Gin bottles lying around in your dorm. Also, those P? Limr< k TV I ?j ^ f" * I ! L_ I Call you Equipment offer valid whi locations only. Certain ret -9 IcPherson c/osetofiome<Scompuserve.com ^1/ . Cxv ^3^? ( i i\^ * I ^ w / - - y /fo- J ou do with my :ollection?!" used condoms that have been lying around s llt last semester really need to go. Take a trip to \ Mart for the hell of it. id ^ (July 23-Aug.22k 1 v^\ -j Well, today will be fruitful and all jn \ other crap. Pluto is being absorl ur into Jupiter's Great Red Spot, wt means your reet are going to nun tor most ot day, but just a little bit. Try washing your hai some time today, for once. 3S l&G}) Virgo (Aug.-23-Sept.22? Rel $?}: today. You've been under a lot o f/fppt, stress lately and a nice day of dc vili C J nothing would benefit your othe it personality. Try to keep him/her under contrc Ybu've earned a day off. iw fc? Libra (Sept.23-0ct.231. j Do something you've never don before, like looking up some poi on the internet. I highly recommend the site www.hornytoads.com.1 A lot of quality toad pi not bad at all. Scorpio (Oct.24-Nov.21): Yot going to die today; it will be qui and painless, sorry. oa ted Time IrnTTii r Gamecock s; le supplies last. Activation fee required. At Mictions apply. See store tor details. r, y*? 1997 John McPherson/Dist by Universal Press Syndicate c= X "O o O 3 .Ille-/na//: c/osetohome 0 Compuserve. com "How ironic is this? Here I am telling the p of one of the nation's largest HMOs tha surgery he needs isn't covered by his insi across 1 Ready to sv npfc~\ Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21y. 6 Shakespeai >^0* ~Look deep into yourself for the king solution to that hankering, annoying 10 Brief sampli t y problem of youts. Then go to Rite- 1 a r 1 it tho ctnt Aid ancfbuy some Preparation-H, because that's 1 c pT. " ri~: that the only thing that really is going to get rid of 13 !f . bed those hemorrhoids. Buy some breath mints too whale lich because your breath really reeks. 16 Teheran's It the 17 Less colore ' frTi*, ] Capricorn (Dec.22-Jan.19): The 18 Feed-bag i "i dav will offer manv surorises. morsels ales rep at (803)608-21 inual contract required. Subject to credit approval. 30 minutes must t fVW {especially when you wake up to some 19 Certain ax person you've never seen before. But 20 Footrests f the day gets better when you realize that you're 22 Millinerv ling only fourth cousins, so it really didn't matter. The nrrexmnrv r night will consist of you seeing a UFO, but then ' >1. being beaten down for being crazy. ^ Issued forth Aquarius (Jan.20-Feb. W |7 Netherlands )( Man, I can't believe it! I lost my ^ 1acks on psychic powers again! I'm really sorry 32 No vote e v-T-r-v people, please try to forgive me. I 33 Exam rn will never happen again, I promise. Here, I'll make composition one up real quick-- you day will be good, except 35 pac|< down urn, when something bad happens. There you go! 3g Active folk 41 Secreted Pisces (Feb.19-March 20h 42 Vowels r're mHey, look at that, I got it back again! at> paau in tho ck :?ZA Man, you guys are lucking out. Okay, oiv"mis oiLl? let's see her...oh, wow, that looks like m i it's going to hurt....huhhhh, just try to stay in bed Mountains all day, maybe the spider monkeys can't find you there. OMICS The Gamecock ...itu n..... u; nnymca wiui uidiiyc ni ~~ |r ^1 ff CCD SRown ^ ^ U HAIR. \ On * RouNP' I sww LTR* j * ?Jf * Srwii braWn I \A Lfe/ Ay y relationship ff / / L, . . .J dk. HiLAgf 8 Wn Ip n^ir power . C. . * ' n \^=^\ ^ !I J h Positive j?jf Jj THINWN& j^J ' resident k, tjllfc, 1/ H1L it the irance!" o\s\smw\o\) M During flight 6 Downtown 4o r tfinn 46 Man's best Chicago ? raa* friend 7 Wipe memory ^ o 8 Play part =1 W 47 Swerve 9 Ph^ia and 52 Gi 9 49 Gabs Ahmad ws >ble 51 Send into exile 10 Aversion 53 E) fhite 55 sticky stuff Tfreakout S4 Ci ind parage 12 Madame Curieff |< ' ESkkl II ma Offer! mmt mmm 63 "Lohengrin'^lady __ sounds t)1 65 Vacuous 23 Furthermore p 66 Border 26 Distress call 64 G 67 Future plant 27 Bring to ruin Pi 68 Nonviolent 28 Southwest art protest ? mecca P 69 Property record 29 Cereal grasses 1/ > city 70 Sawbucks 20 Casual top 71 Examines 24 Assistance I 36 Assistant b 37 Wasteland is 38 Snub-nosed DOWN dogs 1 Small vipers 40 Separated, as 2 The one there threads 3 Indonesian 42 Tree specialist island 44 Most cruel 4 Reluctant 45 Othello's 5 Urban porches nemesis l/A I ViV I m 525. ie used in local coverage area. *$10 paging activation fee rec Ilary Price A D06-ANP-A-HAIF l0U&' (\ HALF-A-POG V'B HIGH. *<>(7^ T) Si k M f ..I *RYB.ft?ce. <f->3 ^ -Ti n [2 [3 n [5 eim-?? jnceit tT~ _ and Clyde" ent fast rr at out of the ay __ ty on the Ruhr I ;oundrels 27 28 29 nger Domino atachment """" ^ 3 omont nf nn iq ? ? ? HHU ypsy Rose or 39 40 nky L 1 43 _ IJ INSWERS HKn ON RAGEIO^ 51 52 53 56 IIIII 66 69 I 01998 Tribune Media S llOl _lll KpBipnM i -I --W: 11 4 nTi www.alltel.com juired. Offer available at participating Wednesday, April 22, 1998 INTO 3UI&T HUNSW FOB | EVENINGS AND COMPANIONSHIP, A LONG WAU<? ON ,? GEORGE 05MPO?ec THE BEACH. HlS P^S0NAL -jk rv SIXTY PAGES m HER BOOK, M y) O MAPTHA STOPPED TO mm HER ill) Ml Am- IF SHE HAD COMPANY, W NO DOUBT SHE'D BE CURLED UP UT M aSainst them" and inevitable M \ HER ARM Woi^ip PALL asleep. yj \ Worsen she'P Have to lj&there ^ J dJUieriYj HEft arm A PE^Y ?f CA \ Pins and needles, so as not to disturb HERWOULD-EECOMWN^ -?-?I Yes,she concluded, it was mow I \ BETTER THAT SHE WAS VfSPS&f. i s? Ho 7 o 9 HHTo 71 75 73 115 21 ^H22 23 25 26 3^BH3i~ H 1 lli ?? H| 44 45 ^ 46 0 flH49 50 ^ 57 58 59 60 61 163 64 iHBis 67 ^^ 68 701 M I- Hi ervices, Inc. V 0 I lie! I ^ ^ ~T