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"15a Serving U Lee Clontz, Editor in Chief < Editor Erin Galloway, Wendy Hudson, Jimmy DeButts, Ryan Wilson, ( Time for cj to Drove tb M. As usual, the last day of the ? the campus covered with fliers, ] tising for candidates. This year's run-off was parti< ing on sidewalks and embarking on the reflecting pond in front c Many of the floating campaign s looking as if the Sidewalk Cafe e into the air. There are signs taped to the n over classrooms, there are hand are posters assaulting us from e^ Joey Dituri's Elections Commi number of posters on campus. 1 One's .got to wonder whether good on their promises to represer There's not much actual encc ciean up ? executive candidates the bucket compared to the vast their campaigns, and senate can lose. Inevitably, many candidates jt across the campus and don't cles and the mess remains. The fleet manities sea. It's time for the candidates to r need to assemble their staffs for o clean up the trash immediately. Sick studei parents for I'm an adult now ? technically. I have a checkbook that I really try my best to balance, I occasionally pay meager bills, I get a pittance of a tax return, and I can't order from the child's menu any longer. From my "Anthropology 102" training, I suppose I could term these responsibilities as rites of passage into the wide wonder iul world ol maturity and independence, a place I used to dream of reaching. Of course, I dreamed of reaching the world of maturity and independence when I was younger, back in the days when I thought that high school really operated like "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and adulthood would be like living in the realistic version of the Barbie Dream House. I used to envy my older sister when she would reluctantly roll home from USC for assorted vacations. She would come home with stories about the miniature metropolis of Columbia and life at USC that outshadowed anything I could remotely find to compare it to in Marietta, Ga. Never did I think that I would miss Carol and Ed (my parents). They'd somehow always be there. Now that I've been at USC for a few months and have received the blessing of becoming a fullfledged adult, I can only say that I miss my parents terribly. Especially now. Although I wouldn't cash in my unlimited freedom (minus the McClintock visitation plan) for Carol and Ed's 1 a.m. curfew, I really needed my parents last night, namely Carol. There I was, sneezing uncontrollably and unable to swallow because my throat was incredibly sore. My pockets were laden with toilet paper I snagged from the bathroom because I couldn't find any legitimate tissues. My lungs ached from some sort of horrendous cough, and I had to bum Tylenol Cold and Nyquil off of friends. I laid in my built-in-thewall bed with my nose stuffed up and my throat scratched up beTBafficod? s Let Clontz Jimmy DcButta Editor in Chief Ryan Wilson Chris Muldrow Sports Editors Viewpoints Editor Kim Truett Carson Henderson Photo Editor Radhlka Taiwan! Ethan Myeraon Copy Desk Chiefs Ryan Sims Erin Galloway Graphics Editors Wendy Hudson Gregory Perez News Editors Design Editor Susan Goodwin All Ansaar Allison Williams Jason JerTers Features Editors Cartoonists The Gamecock is the student newspaper of the University of South Carolina and is published Tuesday through Friday during the fall and spring semesters, with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editors or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. J The i ||_L TECDCR 'SC Since 1908 Chris Muldrow, Viewpoints Editor lal Board Susan Goodwin, Allison Williams, Larson Henderson, Radhika Talwani andidates m lemseives Student Government elections saw aosters and other materials advermlarly bad, with candidates writa flotilla of Styrofoam "vote boats" if the Humanities office building, igns have overturned in the pond, xploded and sent food trays flying lobile sculpture, there are signs all bills fluttering in the wind, there rery direction. ssion has done well in limiting the 'he mess, however, still remains, the candidates are going to make it the interests of the student body, luragement for the candidates to lose a deposit that's just a drop in quantities the candidates drop on didates don't have any deposit to ist forget the paper they've spread in up. Their huge staffs dissolve, t of posters will still sail the Hu nake good on their promises. They ne last time, blitz the campus and its need good cure III/ / * tH STEPHANIE | 1- SONNENFELD I Columnist yond belief and could only think of my mother. Maybe I was spoiled or more than likely I was lucky, but when I was sick, Carol and Ed always took care of me. Back in the days when I was sick, Carol would bring me ginger ale and crackers to cure some aspect of my sickness, and mv father would brincr me this nasty supply of my Grandma's afghans from the '70s to keep me comfortable while I laid on the sofa in the family room watching TV I wanted to watch. They checked on me constantly, and somehow that generic chicken soup and toast scheme always seemed to cheer me up. Ed would go and buy me Nyquil ? any flavor of my choice (as if wretched cherry or acidic green were much of a choice). Cough drops were always abundant, and Vick's Vaporub was just downstairs in the medicine cabinent In short, I was set up when I was sick. I was fawned over, and I didn't have to worry about a thing. I suppose I have to face the facts that in the real world (not MTVs) Carol and Ed wont be there to comfort me in my death-ridden bouts with the common cold. It's really hard for me to come to grips with this. Too bad it took me a year's worth of tuition and one horrific sleepless night battling my sickness to actually appreciate Carol and Ed. But I need to grow up and take care of myself. I need to develop a stiff upper lip and gather the guts to handle this sickness by myself ? hey, there's always the ThomHi 1 1 TT -UL x i son oiuaeni rieann center to cure my illness, and the 24-hour Kroger Sav-On can always provide me with my choice of cold medicine. I'm able to handle this because I'm an adult now... an adult who still wants her mommy and daddy. . 77*7 *7*70/^ Chris Carroll ^ Director of Student Media rtising: 777-4249 Laura Day 777-6482 Creative Director Jim Green Art Director TlefTa Harper Elizabeth Thomas ?1? Adv- Graduate Asst. James Ponce Renee Gibson Asst. Photo Marketing Director Ben Pillow Christopher Wood Stephanie Sonnenteld Asst. Advertising Asst features Manager Larry^ Williams Erik Collins KeltlTBoudre.ux FaCUltV Advisor Circulation Editor Letters Policy The Gamecock will try to print all letters received. Letters should be 200-250 words and must include full name, professional title or year and major if a student. Letters must be personally delivered by the author to The Gamecock newsroom in Russell House room 333. The Gamecock reserves the right to edit all letters for style, possible libel or space limitations. Names will not be wi'hbeld under any circumstances. Bamecock VlEWfrdlN SI jOut i 1 THERE'S NO NEED FOR AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.' THERE'S NO RACISM /N SOUTH CAROLINA? EVERYTHING IS F/NE ANO bANbY? ^ ^DOES THAT MEAN THE MOVIE y BAD COMPANY Wll I F/ v SHOW HERE J~? ^ ^ I . % % Ouon U-OUOT1 "We feel that there was unfai Amy shouki STICKER SHOC "Y'here fur a sticker?" "Yup." "Gimme about 15 minutes ? I gotta tiy to pull out this strut." With that, the mechanic turned back into the greasy garage and crawled back under the Crown Victoria, joining his partner in a grunting, cursing, straining match against the car's suspension system. He somehow knew I was there for a "sticker," a S.C. Vehicle Inspection sticker, but he had to attend to his paying customer first. He probably wasn't real enthusiastic about checking my car to make sure it was fit for our state's unfit roads. He's required to charge only $3. He can't be getting all of that money. He'd be getting a whole lot more money from me if he pulled out my transmission, rotated my tires, even changed my oil. In fact, he could make more money billing me for labor if he just stared at my carburetor for 10 minutes while he scratched his head. Instead, he shuffled around the car as quicklv as nnssiblp rharlrinor licrhfs T HnH snant tHo Hov v ? i 1 ? D ?o" " * "r~"" ",v ""J before taking my steering wheel apart to make sure my horn worked (Of course, my brother discovered under the hood the horn wasn't actually plugged in.) but he didn't even ask me to blow the horn. He told me to check my rear brake light because it wouldn't come on. If I promised to fix it, he'd give me a sticker. ] Of course, some places try to make money off car inspections. Sears, the company famous for 1 innovating bait-and-switch auto-repair adver- ] tisements ("We're all out of the $19.95 shock ab- < sorbers for the back of your car, but we do have \ the $300 mega-shock that's warranted through i three generations of your family.") inspected my ] car one year. I don't know why I went to Sears, i since the 11th Commandment is, "Though shalt 3 not get thine chariot fixed at Sears," but I did. ' They had the car for three hours while I mulled 1 about the mall. i Brady Bunch TV "Here's the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls." Most of us can finish the words to this song. After all, it's probably the most famous television theme in history. Now, that eternal TV classic "The Brady Bunch" has hit the big screen. Last weekend, my girlfriend and I went to see the Brady Bunch movie at Carmike in Harbison. The theater was packed, and the audience laughed the whole time. The movie was very funny, especially if you are familiar with the television show. The plot of the movie is basically what it would be like if the Brady Bunch had shown up in today's society. The movie exaggerated the roles of each Brady and transformed their character roles and flaws into comedy. While the movie poked fun at the "goody-goody" Bradys, it also offered a sad but true satire on today's society (and today's movies). The Brady Bunch movie featured Marcia as the overzealous "teen dream girl," Jan as the deprived middle child, Greg as the pop star wannabe Johnny Bravo and Bobby as the hall monitor with an attitude. Let's not forget Mike, who always has a moral parable or cliche to offer up. This bunch is thrown into the 1990s where it encounters carjackings, alcoholic next-door neighbors from hell, grunge rock and a lesbian classmate who tries to "get close" to Marcia (to no avail, of course). With the premiere of the Brady Bunch movi i ITS Friday, February 24, 1995 ^ N* I * V ^ v V ^ ?' 4 CAROLI rn /"Am / r m Lt\ LUWt lM mess, and the result is Amy Bigham winning. All I be disqualified because her campaign was not r AAAS President Femeia Adamson K: vehicle inspec CHRIS MULDROW Viewpoints Editor n ?a Now, for one thing, I'm the kind of person who oi attacks the mall like those Nintendo-style mis- pi sile launches we saw on CNN during the Gulf la War. I target a few stores, get what I need and a] leave before the dust settles. Three hours in the fl mall for an inspection was a torture comparable to three hours watching "Partridge Family" re- k< runs. cc When the car finally was finished, the guy told tc me he wouldn't pass it. is "I didn't like the steering as I drove it into the fi day, so l can't pass it. Uf course, 1 could fix that gl for you," he told me. So he had the car for three pi hours, only to drive the car for a couple of seconds cl and determine it didn't steer well. My car's a 1967 Ford Mustang ? of course it doesn't steer well. It steers like I'm driving through a pool of Jello. I can steer it enough to get around town without veering off the road, though, and it certainly wasn't bad enough to warrant not passing inspection, ei Everyone knows the only way to fail inspection in this state is to bring in your car's windshield and try to get the guy to put a sticker on it. Sears- ju man was trying to scam me. Sometimes, I wonder about this way to fail. SVhen I was stripping my car to get it ready to be al painted, I had taken all the lights and the fend- p< irs off. It looked like I was getting ready to audi- ca don my 'Stang for a "Road Warrior" sequel. In- w ipection time came around, and I knew I couldn't w oass with no lights unless I strategically hid some It lashlights in the car body. At the last minute, us lowever, my dad came home with an envelope, er 'Put this on your car," he told me. It was an of- pc icial S.C. Inspection sticker. Annarent.lv t.he tniv _ x r r %f 7 ?? D~*\7 vho got it to my dad does inspection with a left- Gj show displayed fa T0MMY T0UCHBERRY a has come a lot of Brady Mania. Last week, TBS f( went Totally Brady and Nick at Nite devoted its s] entire prime-time programming to Brady Mania. Q] Disc jockeys on the radio have been talking about the Bradys; so have late night television hosts. Q] Rvprvwhprp vnn turn von cop BomotViinrr oKnuf the Brady Bunch ? so what is it about this show 11 which has captured the fascination of America? n After all, "The Brady Bunch" was only moder- 01 ately successful when it originally aired. It was S1 carried by ABC on Friday nights from 1969 through a 1974. The show never finished higher than 12th ir in the television ratings. But ever since "The Brady Bunch" left the air, it has been gaining in popu- ? larity. These days, it is one of the most watched ^ programs on cable television. The movie appears to be off to a good start at the box office, too. ft I think what America really likes about this ^ show is the positive image it gives to everyday Vi life, to family and to America. Sure, the show is T probably unrealistic for most of US. Can you see B a family with six kids and two parents encounter fo such minimal problems and be able to solve the ir problems so easily? Me neither, but I wish life's tl problems could be solved so easily oi 3 \ N I * x X ? \ ^ X X %VV % * nTT? -\\ ^ v> , ?' ? ^ \ ,v'i' >i' jl x %v * A *' , ,., * < v * ' q J ; r\.-v ^"". A, - vx *' ta v v v ' t .* ' v ' '\v ' ' X' x > ^ \ \ x : v ^ < % i % ? NfWl . :\ J J . ,, S ^ ; " < \| M P I we are asking for is fairness, un fairly." jtions useless ver CIA spy satellite because I don't remember im ever seeing my car. Now, I just try to find the quickest place to get ly car inspected. Usually,- you can ask around nd get a good deal. My current inspection staon has me scrape the sticker off and put the new ne on the car while he fills out my form. He's lanning to start mailing the forms out to reguir customers and let them fill the forms out, so 11 he has to do is take the money and get you to ash your brights. We ought to get rid of this inspection thing and eep old cars off the road some other way. Maybe >ps could use their power to stop cars that seem > be unsafe. They already ticket you if a light n't working or if some other part of your car isn't t for the road, so inspections, especially quick ances over the car, aren't getting much accomiished. I can imagine getting pulled for a vehie inspection violation: Driver-person: Officer, was I speeding? Officer: Nope. Driver-person: Did I run a red light? Officer: Nope. Driver-person: Illegal lane change? Reckless idangerment? Failure to yield right-of-way? Officer: Nope. Nope. Nope. Driver-person: Is it because my car's a piece of ink? Officer: Yep. Some states have stricter inspections, but thej so charge more money for them. I don't think ;ople want to shell out $20 or more to get their irs inspected, though, and a stricter inspectior ould mean more stations would have a way tc ithhold inspection stickers if repairs aren't made seems better to pet rid of the infinert.inns anr te the money the state spends on the little stick s to help officers enforce the laws the/re sup >sed to enforce anyway. Oh, look. My inspection form from Larry's arage just came in the mail. If I fill it out early unity values The Brady Bunch is at the opposite end of th pectrum from most of today's television show nd movies. It glamorized the ideal American fan y, able to function together as one unit. It als howcased two parents who were interested i leir kid's lives and who tauerht their kids the di ;rence between right and wrong. Finally, th low promoted morals and ethical behavior base a the Judeo-Christian tradition. Each show articulated a problem (usually ft tie of the kids) and then spent 30 minutes sob lg the problem. Whether it was Bobby learnin ot to abuse power, Jan learning not to be jea lis of others or Greg learning that it's wrong t noke cigarettes, the show always concluded o happy note with the kid and the audience tal lg with them a new lesson in morality. This, I think, is what America loves about tl rady Bunch (although it is fun to laugh at the aircuts and their clothes). These days, we ar imbarded with movies and TV shows that mal in of or make a mockery of our basic values, bi le Brady Bunch stood up for those tradition alues. We are able to identify with the Brady hat is why the Brady legacy lives on. As Brae unch creator Sherwood Shwartz said, "Long b re we had this phrase 'family values,' we had l this show." Maybe the rest of Hollywood shou link about what kind of impact they have he i society. It certair*y hasn't been positive!