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Stern bares By ROB RODUSKY Sports Editor Lesbians. Lesbians. Lesbians. This is the sure-fire way to sell anything, according to radio personality Howard Stern. And this is what you find when you open up his book, "Private Parts." The humor and insight doesn't stop until 18 chapters are done. The "King of All Media" tells just about everything about every topic he can think of. He replays some of the different scenes from his radio ^?5 Stern captures that to perfection. Stem details his journey from 2 child growing up in Long Island N.Y. He relives the horrors of hi< father always coming home fronr work and filling him with negative feedback. Stem tells of his climb froir CONGRAl tO THE NEW CCM MikeBurkhard|| Lee Butler; ^Kesvin; Davis ^ IGeolfErftblealli Ryan Hansen!! Joan Heberger jjf II. Justin:JoneslMil Frank Kattrell I Clay Kenfed|||f fl|Wa Lockard lB Rob McCue Kerry Mitchell | "TCBVr (??[ WAFFI iWlW ki I TAT I Si - 'Private Part some kid who used to make and i record prank calls in his basement , to the man who is ranked No. 1 in ; Philadelphia, New York City and i Los Angeles. He fills the reader in 5 on the other workers on his show, from Baba Booey to Jackie "The i Jokeman" Martling to his sidekick ULATIONSl ArWUSC, 90,5-FMf J Latonya Nixon llJEmilyPeterson; ? IfHayden Portergfj Ernest Shields j Shannon Spiesmanj | j|J Becky Spyke J?| ? |?j Drew Stewart jj ? Si Jerry Stover |;j|: ISIIIiRrnrl Tnrr %0*% vt r Vt i f j|j?arry Williams ?j? Angle Willis | Kevin Wimberly imwmmmmmmmmrnmmmmmmmmmmm' AO The Pleasure, Noc L?g! i r rAU Lt V-Wlr / * ? / : I u ? ? ? sM )2 s&f " V/y ^ *j Now you can g< *# / waffle cone at a truly k -> y^/ll I /?- Iy^NI If '0 w UII.U luubc. a u^nuuu: J delicious TCBV? frozer ' You better hurry, though. 1 Sale won't last Ions! ;s' to world < Robin Quivers. Part of the book is devoted to his thoughts on different celebrities, from comedian Jerry Seinfeld to actress Tori Spelling to his favorite, Jessica Hahn. All is revealed. Stern's fascination with sex, lesbians, his penis and females finds its way into the book whenever it Thp "shook iook" is a family man with three daughters. Many people will probably be amazed that his wife puts up with half of the things that are documented in the book. The book is put together nicely, which might surprise some people who have seen him on television i and heard his radio show. There 3 are quotes, both good and bad, about him from many different people. 1 All in all, this book is a mustget for anyone interested in finding out about the mind of one of the world's most interesting and hilarious minds. After all, what other author gets a psychological profile about him and has it published? Long live Howard Stern! "Literacy, at risk kids, hunger..., you can make a difference. Call or come by the Office of Community Service Programs 777-5780. I J L_ iliBSBHM ie Of The Guilt ~| ??\[L E SALE J zt your favorite"TC8V? ' colossal savings ? 504 ; waffle cone with the i yogurt of your choice, his Colossal Waffle Cone Columnist c Ever since I've been at USC, ['ve been the Beardman. None of my new friends here recognize me as a clean-shaven kind of guy. When I got bored the other night and shaved my scruffy facial hair off, I caused quite a stir. I've learned quite a bit from my beard-shaving incident. NEVER shave your face jus! because you're bored. Shaving a full beard is, apart from giving birth I assume, the single mosi painful experience in the universe. I used a little battery-pow ered clipper that was low on juice and somewhat dull. The clipper grabbed, pullet and tormented my poor face as i removed about three tons of littlt hairs, which magically took fligh out of the bathroom and landet on every item of clothing I own I don't believe we guys can full} appreciate the horror of th< Epilady, that infamous spring loaded leg hair removal system feryone's doing it! ',000 people are doing 5 The Gamecock that i ; cool ones and do it tc YOU DONT HAVE TO DRINK TO RIDE DRUNK. * J i Medicine can affect your balance, coordination, and vision as much as alcohol. After drinking or taking medication, don't ride. That's c jo ) the best safety prescription. \v/ MOTORCYCLE SAFETY FOUNDATION ir Beef up your resume with co-op experience. For more information call the Student Employment Center at 777-2124 . NITE i B ? Dress ir :uts up to cure until we've tried a similar device. After I pulled most of the beard hair out with the clipper, I used a safety razor to clean up the shave. I discovered that the term "safety razor" is a rough translation of a Latin term that means "heavy bleeding." I think the Red Cross should skip the whole IV blood donation concept and just hire me to shave J potential donors. I had to lie down and eat some little butter cookies to recover my senses yoi after I finished shaving. When the last hair drifted to wa the bathroom counter, I looked in a'r the mirror and discovered, to my wa cnrnricp that someone had 1 replaced my normal face with ^ that of an elementary school stu- ^ 1 dent. I got an incredible urge to mi find some cool stuff to bring to ha t- show-and-tell, and I packed a k Snoopy lunchbox with a peanut cu ! butter sandwich and some Beebo 1 powdered doughnuts. m< My new look, despite knock ing 10 years off my age, gave me ^ ; a chance to really confuse some 0 of my friends. I passed people * and called out their names, and ^ 1 they turned and searched the ? ; crowd for a familiar face that t wasn't there. ?t I went places with my room- ? mate and had good friends talk to w ^ him and ignore me because they didn t recognize me. C I said hello to one friend as she fo i, was* 4|fc| _ 5 ?r^ ' Order college ring and receive 1 free CD or 2 free cassettes , Wednesday, Thursday, & ' Friday October 20, 21, & 22 10:00 -'3:00 USC Bookstore Russell House No deposit required UTES AND Wl Proudly Present Irasli Wssi Rack Fart: ) 7O's attire Receive Free Admissic Great Beer Special uri boredom lldrow's advice: Never ave yourself because a're bored. s riding her bike, and she nost smashed into the brick 11 on Greene Street. Mow, the fun has died, and the ardless feel is beginning to get noying. I had forgotten how ich very short, shaved facial ir itches the bottom of your in. I had forgotten how diffilt it ic to chavR without cutting F an ear when it's early in the Drning. I had forgotten how liculous it looks to stroke your ard in contemplation when you n't have a beard. Now, I have to weigh the good d bad of beardless life. Some iends like it, some don't. >metimes I like it, sometimes I >n't. Should I grow it back? I jess I'll wait until I'm bored ;ain, grow it back and start the hole process over again. hris Muldrow is graphics editor r The Gamecock. C FM 50a?k M??:? On Our Entire Collection of Jk HERFF JONES College Ring J' Our entire jtV collection of W Herff Jones College Ring ; ~ styles are now on sale! HERFF JONES I College Rings ^OK i ?n FREE Pizza 7pm itil 8pm H I