The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, June 30, 1993, Page 8, Image 8
V/VXI. TT UAUV>A&V
by Stephen Brown
Hollywood has made som
colossal blunders over the years.
Remember "Exorcist II" c
"Superman III"? How about th
"Brady Bunch Reunion"?
Perhaps "Dying Young" will b
Julia Roberts' next "Prett
Woman"...Hoffman and Beatt
together in "Ishtar" is a guarantee
smash...Madonna's next film wi
be a hit...Think again!
Hollywood has forged an emba
rassing track record in whetting th
American appetite with glorioti
spectacle and following up wit
fizzling fiascoes.
After popping the cork an
n n i-r* thn nr/~\T> H PTC C
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Spielberg's superb "Jurassic Park,
the summer blockbuster "La!
Action Hero" is a most bitter cha!
er.
Hordes of happy movie-goei
who finally witnessed a dinosau:
sized hit to satiate their cinemati
needs will feel cheated and disaj
pointed by "this summer's ticket
a film that does an appropriai
amount of damage to the career <
Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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igger stars as no
"Last Action Hero" is a mess of
a movie. At no point did "Die
Hard" director John McTiernan
give the characters a sense of location
or a sense of humor, or the
audience a piece of action.
The film's story revolves around
an 11-year-old boy, Danny
Madigan, who is obsessed with
Schwarzenegger's on-screen persona,
Jack Slater, and magically
e enters the film world of his favorite
hero.
,r Armed with his movie knowle
edge, Danny leads Slater to the bad
guys, and they battle on both sides
e of a parallel universe,
y There are several inspired touchy
es, including celebrity cameos,
d movie in-jokes and spoofs of other
11 Schwarzenegger movies.
The problems are very evident:
r- A muddled tone, an uncertain tar
le get audience, flat action sequences,
is poor special effects and an absolute
b void of dramatic structure and
human chemistry,
d Attempts at sappy sentimentality
>f between Danny and an eccentric
" old film projectionist are amazingly
>t contrived, only to be outdone by
?- buddy film moments between
Arnold and the boy. These scenes
s are half-baked, mostly because
r- Arnold seems more unfocused as
ic an actor than ever. And that's say>
ing a lot.
With the action unfolding at
te Masterpiece Theater-speed, the
5f film has about two genuinely exciting
moments in its two hour run
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n-action hero
ning time. Counting the film's
technical mistakes becomes the
only source of entertainment during
long stretches.
Instead of standing on its own as
a summer action comedy, "Last
Action Hero" relies on all old
stand-bys. Product promotions
range from Coca-Cola to Baskin
Robbins to, yes, Burger King.
At least Spielberg resisted the
urge to stamp his dinosaurs with
golden arches.
"Last Action Hero" is a showcase
for shameless plugs placed
clearly in view and a heavy metal
soundtrack of annoying proportions.
Advertisers have praised the film
as a family movie, but the language
and violence make it a strict PG1
^ Af oil thnnnh tKoro to lif_
tie reason why anybody of any age
would completely enjoy this
movie.
And those who do not believe
the critics, should ask a friend. This
movie, plagued by production
problems, went through lastminute
editing as late as a week
before its release because test audiences
panned it, making Columbia
Studios nervous about their $60million-plus
entry in the summer
box office wars.
In "Last Action Hero,"
Schwarzenegger does little to prove
himself a hero, even the action is
boring, and if he keeps making
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Mindfunk
resurfaces
By DEREK McKISSOCK
Staff Writer
Playing with their angry angst
strings, the Seattle band, Mindfunk,
on kprnlnnk with th? cAmotimp rvc\/_
uiv ovuiviuiiv yoj
chedelic-sounding grunge of their
second album, "dropped."
Dropped by the label Epic after
their debut album, Mindfunk has
resurfaced with an impressive guitar
technique and, on rare occasions,
pleasing melodies.
However, Mindfunk is sunk by
the self-indulgent lyrics of singer
Pat Dubar. Ranging in themes from
paranoia to neuroses over masturbation
and the "Man inside my walls,"
this album leaves one wanting to
shake Mr. Dubar severely and tell
him to lighten up.
n 1 1 1 ~ in
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the overall sound give Mindfunk an
album that fails to yield all it could
have had or promised.
The album opens with the song,
"goddess," which rumbles along
predictably and is made vaguely
interesting by the guitar interplay of
twin-leads Jason Everman and
Louis Svilleck. The lyric seems to
be about a woman who is God.
Who knows?
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Yet in the songs "zootiehead,"
"11 To Butterfly," and "hollow,"
they take a melody begging gentle
on their instruments. This bombardment
unfortunately ends up inducing
a sore head.
More junk from Mindfunk follows
in the song "in the way eye,"
which sounds like serious Spinal
Tap and then descends, ad nauseam,
into a mania "cool" by Beavis and
Butthead, but even they would have
a bard time headbanging to the
frantic pace of this overwrought
rock 'n' roll extravaganza.
Not all the songs of the
Mindfunk stunk, "wisteria," for
example, is a song that makes itself
gladly welcomed. It's Beatlesque
melody is pleasing to the ear.
Still, for this listener, the overall
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anxiety) does not give one any
sense of hope for the human condition.
With frequent playing,
Mindfunk could pull you down into
a funk with the visions of a world
with no redeeming qualities.
Mindfunk as musicians cannot be
faulted technically. Even Dubar's
voice is pleasing enough though his
words are not. Yes, changing their
name from Mindf?k to Mindfunk
may have been a step in the right
direction, but these guys need some
more therapy if they want their listeners
to feel pleasure instead of
pain.
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