The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 09, 1993, Page 7, Image 7
UNC wins...
So sue me, I wa
I would like to thank God die
Final Four is over.
Fxcept, since North Carolina
nr/Ml llio noli/MVil litla ?p
wwii mv~ iKii i v 'i it ii nut, inv^ik. 10
obviously no such entity. And
even it there is, this proves once
and for all that He cares
absolutely nothing about sports.
Of course, I've been wrong
before, as evidenced by my |-f
most heinous predictions for ft*
who would advance to New T
Orleans. On that note, I would L?
like to thank (seriously!) letter of the
writer Drew Schwalbe for point- Rumors
ing out exactly how pathetic my This
picks were. Thus, once again, it from A
is time to dust off the cobwebs saying t
and take an adventure into ingrate,
"Fool Mail." turncoat
Drew's letter says, in part, in a loc
"I'd like to recall your predic- saying I
tions for the NCAA Tourney, been tal
Seton Hall bowed out of the big Let rr
dance well before the Final Bxxxy
Four, as did Vandy. It's a good nitely r
thing I didn't 'want to make tion. I s
grotesque amounts of money' in a m
off your predictions. You blew admit tl
it, pal (Almost as bad as lost his
Webber Monday night)." he nevi
Well, Drew, first of all, place,
thanks for the letter. And for make it
Ihfw of vnn who Hnn'r rfmem- hprp
ber my pre-toumament predic- And
tions, they were Vandy, Seton Four pr
Hall, UNC and Kentucky. I had naturall
Vandy winning the national title give m>
over UNC. I guess I deserve the You
Bonehead of the Tournament have k
Award for actually putting those picking
monstrosities in print. Yes, I in the
blew it. Vander
But not nearly as bad as Chris Title. (
Webber. I haven't seen a bigger pelled
choke since Old Lady Sawyer here it <
got that ham hock stuck in her Firsl
throat. Nasty. Of course, how League
can I be the Bonehead of the time th<
Tournament when Chris is the the pac
obvious choice? I mean, he this pat
wins the Ultimate Bonehead scraping
Award for his little faux pas. East qu;
From now on, the Bonehead of to get It
the Week will be named in hon- than the
or of Chris Webber, and each guess is
winner will receive a huge mel- Baltimo
on, symbolizing Chris Webber's only tea
big, bald, empty head. to win
Honestly, was this guy point Mussin;
shavinsr. or is he inst that stu- and eve
pid? First, he does the "Ickey "Tiajut
Shuffle" right in front of the Valenzi
obviously blind, or just brain shade b<
dead (see Cxxxxxs below), ref- defense
eree. Then he goes down the offense
court and calls a timeout. What but witf
a moron! I'm glad I don't like Deverea
Michigan, or else I'd be really Harolds
angry. the O's
I think, though, I've figured edge the
out what happened. Dean Smith In the
is the Anti-Christ. It makes so the gan
much sense. Why else would Sox wil
Freddy Brown throw the ball to AL We
James Worthy in the 1982 and Rol
Championship? I suspect that Robin
Dean Smith has some kind of enough
covert, mind-controlling abilities know, ;
that are strongest when he is in on this
the state of Louisiana, and more wouldn'
specifically, New Orleans, pitchin
Think about it. Dean Smith has Methust
been to eight Final Fours. But And
he has only won two. And they Braves,
were both in New Orleans. of heari
Smith has never lost a game pitching
in New Orleans. He must have And
some sort of telekinetic powers NL Ea
that are activated when he gets Phillies
to the land of voodoo. That's best in i
why Brown threw the ball to lion of
Worthy. Smith had control of Schillii
Brown's brain and made Tommy
Worthy look like Sleepy Floyd. They al
And the Webber time out was Tyler (
all a product of Smith getting majors,
inside Webber's head (notice I best in i
didn't say brain) and telling him Dykstra
to call a time out. That's it. Daulton
And now for a new segment John Kr
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? By AN]
Staff W
J| "I re
(1]e jas|
IM THORSEN (here j
?ame "
old column, Fool " '
I he i
Ihp ("I'll
week's big rumor comes
tlanta, where people are
Fat a certain jerk, punk, came 11
can't make up his mind, inning.
:, Benedict has been put 111 the g
my bin. Yes, people are son tota
hat Bxxxy Cxxxxxs has "We'
:en to the funny farm. game,"
le set the record straight.
Cxxxxxs is most defilot
in a mental institu- /
ay this because to be put I
ental institution is to
hat Bxxxy Cxxxxxs has
mind, and quite frankly, SV1
er had one in the first Staff W
rhat's why he couldn't With
up on whether to come Alumn
USC S
now, since my Final sprins [
edictions were so awful, parj
y, tne thing to do is ... Gamec
' baseball predictions. q
would think 1 would Methot
earned my lesson alter lost tQ ,
Denver vs. Philadelphia
: Supei Bowl and happy
bilt to win the NCAA
)f course, I feel com- i
to vindicate myself, so /\ t
joes. IX V
t off, the American
East, where at press By ROl
e Boston Red Sox lead Assistar
k. By the time you get ~USC
ler, expect to see them Laidlav
5 the bottom of the AL. honore
igmire. So, who is going Monday
icky and not stink worse The *
rest of the division? My honored
> those wild and wacky or
re Orioles. They are the Ume Ir
m well-balanced enough j-Qr ean
the AL East. With point a
a, McDonald, Sutclitfe
:rybody's favorite chico
ina" Fernando
lela, their Ditchinc is a 1
2tter than Toronto's. The Mk
is spectacular, and the Jh
is solid. It'll be close, ;H
1 Brady Anderson, Mike
iux, Cal Ripken and the
(Reynolds and Baines),
have enough punch to
i most boring division in ^
ne, the Chicago White
1 reign victorious in the
st. They've got Batman Thispr?ar
bin (Frank Thomas and
Ventura), and maybe
pitching to do it. You
an A-bomb could drop
; division and it just
t matter. Texas has no
g, short of the
ilesque Nolan Ryan,
now the NL West. The
even though I gel sick
ng it, just too much darn
the big shocker in the WM
ist, the Philadelphia
. Their pitching is the fl
the division, with a rotaTerry
Mulholland, Curt
ng, Danny Jackson,
Greene and Ben Rivera.
Iso have superstar-to-be HL
ireen coming up to the
The offense is also the
die NL East with Lenny
, Dave Hollins, Darren
, Wes Chamberlain and
uk.
war
Hig
mac
syst
. FUN ^
5 Eve;
and Residential the 1
las on-campus ^ mai
ailable for both 3" abk
ip
school sessions. ^ Can
s April 13-14 JJJ* Wh;
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ocated at 1215 ?
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t Housing and
Sporl
lemson ed
i
DREW BORGERT WWM
riter
ison's baseball team dcfeat1
9-8 Wednesday night, but Score b
ie wasn't deeided until Rob
r's 360-foot fly ball was wOrnSC
in left-center. 1 9f!
i.son Coach Bill Wilhelm OUU 1
thought the ball was out of
ally have to admit that on rjon crn
t out, when he hung it in UZU OU
thought it was a tie ball- Chns Muldrow/Th<
Wilhelm said. Raines_ ?We
win, Clemson's second over ^ ^ a g00<
necocks in two days, was Early on, 1
>y five unearned runs. 1 wo taking a 3-0
? Clemson's five-run fourth on singles
USC committed five errors DeBoer. But,
ame, which brings their sea- 3.2 in the fc
J to 67 in 33 games. Clemson's J<
re averaging about two a mn double tl
' said USC Coach June ^ jw0 unea
3ccer team
H O POSTIC are filling th<
rjter uation of ti
a 6-5 win over the Carolina Tufino, Chi
i team last Saturday the 0 ;s|ant
ioccer Team finished its "Billy
practice. Peler Dui
ier this semester, the Baumhoff in
ocks beat Charleston 4-1, pier in the
itadel 5-2, Spartanburg- stepped up t
list 3-0, Furman 3-0, and excellent.''
, on ?
J|*UUI?.UU1S --V. iwo U5L
coaches said they are very the sprins
with the way some players because of*l
hletics depar,
3 RODUSKY spring semest
it Sports Editor Program
s Athletics Department and Coryell said,
/ Environmental Services commitments
d 213 student-athletes ment by the
afternoon. are people ii
student-athletes were not really heroic
for tackles, points scored, *be laculty an
for turning in the fastest Don James
tstead, they were awarded dent publi
ling at least a 3.0 grade about his co
iverage for the fall and in the receptit
^Tuesday, April 13 7:3
in the Golden Spu
om paid for, in part, by student activity fees
Nice car, m
ni tSBB
She's a beauty. of the best i
You got everything you tions arour
ited. classes are
h performance for that corner,
i dash to class. An audio But loc
em that let's you play offer. At W
rs of music while you have low si
t for a parking spot. the apartm
n a oaint job that will turn furnished c
heads of all the meter Now d
ds. What more could you Mill seem 1
for? to move? V
Maybe an apartment you can't get a
walk to school from? At
aley's Mill, we have one
<Tw
5JWWJ* Office Hours: XJi
M-F 9:30-5:30 ^
mi 211 Main Street
SSOCIATES 254-7801 Where!
ts
ges USC 1
w/ inninnc IIKhW II 11 114 wJi
iUll 0 White J
1020 O DeBoer ;
Gugino >,
100 9 ip h r er
?Gamecock O V O SS $5;;;*$
can't kick it around RBI, spelled a 7
3 ballclub " tage tliat USC w
Carolina looked good, come,
lead in the first inning For USC, Wee
by Mac White and stars were Mac A
with Carolina leading ues to hit well,
>urth, the roof fell in. Mark Gugino, ^
;ff Miller had a two- three, and Rob
tat, when teamed with only one-for-fiv
ined runs and another the game with
finishes s]
; void left by the grad- U.S. National un
hree seniors, Ruben Junior Chris
is Crosby and Hans team's leading
Rob Smith had
coach Doug Allison recently finish*
Clifford on defense, Australia. The
tsman and Billy eliminated in tht
the middle and Steve ing to the eve
offense have really Brazil,
his Spring and played USC head sc
Berson has ann<
players have missed of six high sch
practice altogether standouts,
heir obligations to the The signees i
1
tment honors
ers. the student-ath
coordinator Dave sees," he said. "
"We understand the get recognition,
and the overachieve- really to be coinr
student-athlete. There Both the mei
n this room that are swimming teams
. This helps to bring for having two ol
d students together." in the nation, s
, Laidlaw's vice presi- respectively,
c affairs, was excited "These stud
mpany's involvement extremely com
}n. "This is the part of Parker-Medlin,
I H WV
r simp tx
CoroJ i no Prog rum Union
Nex
???i Che
an. Chc
Bw/ci
expire
off-campus loca- A| 11 Jfl m\
id. All of your I H .? mM I
right around the l|R ll M fi
ation isn't all we
haley's Mill we
tudent rates. And
ents can come either
>r unfurnished. MIDLAND
oesn't Whaley's As a guest
ike a smart place .
^ell, at least we ever t0'
flat during exams. semester intc
Weekend Col
Besides an
InQftgJfr our foreign lc
nHnHH x French, Gerrr
rhaley\ l make the 1
mill Technical Col
HWfP* May 2I, so pit
information
iome isn't far away.
0
>aseball team
Biree ot l^em ^a<Jtwo KB Is.
H y H Carolina's pitching staff has
been bitten by the injury bug.
Pitchers Matt Threehouse and Jim
J? r h... bi Stoops, first and third in the rotate-,
J2, ?. ? 1 tion, respectively, were unavailable
^ *9 1 9 i ?f . o _ _ o
UtXaUJ>C Of ICllUIIllllS. OliUlCr OCUtl
' 1 .Z Z pace {Qok the j0SSj giving up two.
RHl||niH earned runs in three and a third
innings pitched.
bb SO The depleted stall ancT'thfc errors
illiiifl:;;;:; combined to doom the Gamecocks
_ against Clemson.
-3 CICmson advan- , , . , ...
You ve sot to have pitchins
'as unable to over- , , ? ?
and defense to win games, said
Inesday's offensive Raines' whose team fe" t0 23"9"1White,
who conlin- He wiU have 10 hoPe ?et
"oin^ two-for-five better soon, because Auburn will
vho was two-for- be *n town f?r a three-game weekDeboer,
who was end series starting with a Saturday
e, but nearly tied doubleheader. The first game
his last out. All begins at 2 p.m.
Diing practice
der-20 team. of Alpharetta, Ga., a goalkeeper
Faklaris was the and the 1993 Gatorade Player of
scorer, and junior the Year in Georgia, Mike Solano
three assists at the and Jason Talbert of Dallas, Texas,
sd World Cup in members of the highly successful
United States was Storm Soccer Club, and David Tart
2 quarterfinals, los- of Gainer, N.C., a first-team Allntual
champions, Conference attacker.
The Gamecocks will be looking
)ccer coach Mark for their eighth NCAA bid in the
^unced the signing last nine years when they open the
ool student-athlete season Sept. 5 at home in the Third
Annual Umbro Kickoff Classic
include John Mills against Santa Clara.
: student-athletes
lete that no one team coach, said. "Last year, we
'It is important to came in fourth, and everyone wantThese
people are ed to be No. 1 this year. Hopefully
riended." , - this will be a new movement for
l's and women's the school."
; were recognized Jerry Fitch,, who helped CorygH,
f the top ten GPAs coordinate the event; saiSrthe USC
ixth and second, student-athlete is "a pef^4n who isf
diligent. They work hard and ask
ent-athletes are for no quarter and are ready to
petitive," Kelly compete on the field as well as
a women's swim off."
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