The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 20, 1989, Page 4, Image 4
Random Patterns
"High and dry in the long hot day/
Lost and lonely every way/ Got the
flats all around me, sky above/ I
need a little water of love . . . ?
Mark Knopfler
One time, Sarah and I were at the
Parthenon in Five Points for dinner.
I had a large slab of pizza in my
mouth; Sarah had a new boyfriend
named Scott. Sarah leaned forward
and pointed her fork at me. She said,
"Chuck, Scott doesn't understand, I
need good sex and a lot of it." The
old lady and man eating at the booth
to our right looked to see who needed
good sex and a lot of it. Sarah continued,
"Do you think it's coincidental
that our waitress is named
Faith?"
Sex is strange these days. Not only
do you have to worry about finding
the right person, but you have to
worry if he/she's done it with the
wrong person in his/her past sex
life ... so, the whole notion of being
loose is getting grossly complicated.
Once you do find the right
person, they have the tendency to fall
in love with you, but later decide that
they want to spend more time with
their friends and that you're too
possessive, but you're nice and sweet,
and they still like you and want to be
your friend and to give them a call
sometimes when you're not busy.
1 think about sex a lot. I think
most people do, because of the laws
of nature or something. But as 1 get
older I'm able to control these sexual
thoughts, better than when I was
around that godawful puberty age ?
when various parts of my body seemed
to have a mind and will of their
own. Back in those days, things popped
up in the most awkward places.
With me, it was always during world
history, when my group had to give
an oral presentation on Iowa in front
of the whole class. During this time
of my life, Iowa was the farthest
thing on my mind, and the whole
class knew it.
I find, as one ages, his sexual
thoughts mature. A while back, I was
standing in front of the Russell
House, talking to Baby, my exroommate.
It was peak traffic conditions;
everyone was either going to ,
class or to lunch. It was during this
conversation, as I stared at all the
people, that I realized that everyone
at USC is the by-product of an
orgasm. The thought, the numbers,
the conditions, the diversity overwhelmed
me.
Naturally, I began to think of my
own origins. I wanted to know what
it was like on that fated evening I was
conceived. My imagination went wild
as I pictured my pa coming home,
smelling awfully good, with a bunch
of little daisies and a goofy Hallmark
card. I saw pa give them to ma, making
her all silly and melty inside.
Then, the two sit down and eat the
in
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barbecued pork chops that ma had
fixed with the idea that this was simply
going to be just another night on
the calendar. But ... as my dad
gnawed on his pork chop, he looks
over the meat at ma, with a sly gleam
in his eye. The lustful romp that
followed made me. So spontaneous,
jungle-istic, wild and romantic.
Naturally, I thought of the flip side
of the situation. What if my dad had
come home drunk off Wild Irish
Rose or M.D. 20/20? And ma just
did it because he'd shut up and pass
out? What if ma had a headache and
just did it because she could watch
Let's Make a Deal in peace and
quiet? What if I was simply the end
product of a late night tap on the
shoulder? The possibilities made me
shiver.
1 like the old kind of sex that use to
be on the black-and-white T.V.
chnu/c lil'p T 1 n\)o I ur\) Thic chnw
created a sexual mystique because
you damn well know that Lucy and
Ricky did it. Ricky loved Lucy. But
the question surfaces, where did they
do it? It's common knowledge that
they had separate beds, but they had
Little Ricky, too, so . . . Sometimes,
1 drive myself crazy- trying to decide
if Lucy went over to Ricky's bed, or
if Ricky sneaked over to Lucy's side
of the room. With these things, we
can only wonder.
Today's shows, like Thirtysomething,
do nothing but give the
sexual act a bad name. The sex parts
of this show always start with that
whiny woman saying, "Honey, you
don't love me one single bit, do
you?" Then, the guy puts his hands
on his hips and starts acting like a
sissy and says, "Now honey, I'm not
going to answer that question
because you know I love you. Now,
you're being inane." Then, she starts
to cry because he called her inane and
sort of raised his voice. Then the
show cuts to a flashback when these
two were young, when they did it
without talking about it. Then the
show cuts back to reality and the two
are smokine in bed. hannv havine
done it and everything. Then all is
fine, until next week when the
refrigerator isn't cooling properly,
and the kids are growing too fast.
Lucy never was like this. Lucy and
Ricky had separate beds.
I like the ads in magazines that use
sex to make you buy their perfume or
whatever. These ads usually have a.
naked man's stomach or just a plain
naked woman. It's left up to you to
decide what is for sale. These people
seem to say, "Look at me, I'm tall,
beautiful, tan. I have perfect bone
structure, and if you buy this product,
you'll be cool like me." This
never happens. I think the people
who buy the stuff are the opposite.
I got a letter from Sarah on Valentine's
Day; she and Scott were
through. She wrote, "... .there are
no other men in my life, except Puff
(a cat), and Puff's pretty much a
bastard too . . . and I'm gaining
weight becauses of that damn pill.
I'm going off it because the only
thing I sleep with is the seven pillows
on my bed."
I think of Sarah, of Ricky and
Lucy, of orgasms, and
origins . . . and I think that in some
cases, seven pillows are good things
to sleep with. It's safe, easy and
doesn't make you feel stupid inside.
Until next week ....
IET STOKED! \
the USC Surf Club j
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Comedij
By TODD HINES
Features editor
In New York, a putz is something cabi
call people who cut them off while drivi
but in Canada, Putz means outrage
comedy.
Marty Putz, the man of a thous;
props, will make a special appearance Ti
day at the Golden Spur.
Putz was the winner of the 1988 Ca
dian Organization for Campus Activi
Best Comedy/Variety Act and is a vete
of the college circuit north of Maine.
If that's not enough, he has been
opening act for Billy Crystal, Yakov Sr
noff and Bob "Bobcat" Goldthw
among others.
He has also appeared on the show Fu
People and Friday Night Live, a B
Television program. Some of the cl
where he has performed include V
couver's "Punch Line," "The Brass C
in Calgary and "Comedy Trap" in E
falo, N.Y.
This guy is outrageous, aye.
Several of his gadgets include a box
Out of Tn
By TODD HINES
Features editor
It's not often you can pick up the
phone and talk to a legend.
He's a man who was a member of
a major British band in the late sixties,
has eight solo albums to his
credit and has friends like Steve Winwood,
George Harrison and Eric
Clapton.
But if legend is a bit much, even
though his accomplishments have
always been underrated, then
perhaps important musical influence
comes to mind when speaking of Jim
Canialrli
"I couldn't imagine a world
without music. You can feel quite
flat, and then you put a record on,
and your mind comes alive," he said.
Today, in a career that has spanned
more than 25 years, the Evesham,
England native has declared his
newest release Some Come Running
(Island Records) as his strongest effort
yet.
New album
This comes as a surprise since he
was once the drummer for the innovative
'60s group Traffic. He called
that phase the high-point of his
career, but it's far from being over.
Capaldi is joined by some old
friends on the new album including
Steve Winwood, Rosko Gee, Eric i
Clapton and George Harrison. Some
of the songs are already gaining
airplay on U.S. radio stations. i
"Something So Strong" and
"Take Me Home" are two of the bigger
tracks on the album. But Capaldi
said he expects big things from the <
soon to be released cover "Oh Lord,
He The Big
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in Putz 1
says sharpens his head and a
machine. One of Putz's more r
Dies audience games is to wear a giai
ng, glove on his head and catch mar
ous from the audience.
Then, of course, there's the trii
and daredevil toy cat that he catapul
jes- a ring of fire to a member of th
wearing special catapulted-cat ce
ina- consisting of a fencing mask and
ties But equally as astounding is h
ran ball-catching helmet.
the The audience begins to wor
nir- won't do anything for a laugh, a
ait, proceeds to spontaneously co
stage.
nny One item Putz is currently resi
iBC growing hair instantly. And if
ubs doubts that he won't figure out
an- the rabbit he pulls a hat from,
at" The show begins at 7:30 p.
luf- sponsored by the special prograr
of the Carolina Program Union
of the Comedy Corral. Tickets a
he student I.D. and $2 without.
iffic, musi
Why Lord" where Harrison and
Clapton join forces on guitar.
The album is moody, possessing an
underlying power in the style of Traffic.
His deep, crooning vocals and
the sleepy keyboards of Chris Parren
combined with several upbeat tracks
define this as his best release yet.
"With this album I'm coming out
of a cold stretch and warming up.
The album is really worth a listen."
Capaldi said he is very excited at
the prospects of finally touring in the
U.S., but plans are on hold while the
album is being promoted.
He said Winwood and ex-Traffic
member Dave Mason have had their
opportunities to saturate America
with notable success, and he now
wants his turn.
In Traffic
A I I C tour ii/r*iilrl Ka o fittinr* n o 1
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frontier for Capaldi since Traffic was
often referred to as the English version
of a West Coast band. Many
critics have likened ^the^ style and
genre of Traffic to Tne Doors.
"In England there' was no other
band like us except perhaps Pink
Floyd, but we were never that
psychedelic."
Traffic, like The Doors, had no
bassist and consisted only of
keyboards, guitar, saxaphone and
drums.
Musically, Traffic had influences
including jazz, Latin music and
mainly blues gospel, he said.
"The jazz side made us stand out
from other bands. I think it came out
as a fusion, and I hope it influenced
other bands."
Today, Capaldi said he can hear
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Marty Putz
ician keep:
Traffic's effects in the English
groups Yes and Genesis.
The band formed in 1967, but
before its breakup in 1974, Traffic
continued to experience differences
over artistic avenues the members
wanted to pursue. Winwood wanted
a more jazz-oriented sound, and
Mason favored a pop style.
These differences eventually led to
the final separation, and Mason and
Winwood left the band several times
during its career.
Two of the most successful releases
were John Barleycorn Must Die and
The Low Spark of High-Heeled
Boys, from which the title track still
remains popular today. Traffic
released nine albums.
Solo efforts
In 1972, when Winwood suffered
peritonitis and the band seemed in
limbo, Capaldi cut his first solo L.P.
Oh! How We Danced. From this
point, his ambitions were to produce
a new album every year.
On his next album Whale Meat
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his first hit single with "It's All Up to
You." Then on his third solo album
Short Cut Draw Blood (1975), a
cover of Roy Orbison's classic "Love
Hurts" became a British top-five hit.
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STUDEN'
APPLICATIC
FRIDAY,
For The Following S
Summer 1989 "Ga
Fall 1989 "Gamec<
1989-90 "Garnet &
1989-90 "Portfolio
1989-90 "WUSC-F
Pick Up A
In Rooi
Russell
to Spur
it
s cruising
^ "Next I did two L.P.s for RSO,
but frankly, they got buried under a
pile of disco."
Following their releases, Capaldi
spent the next few years in Brazil
helping write albums and raising a
family with his wife, Aninha.
Finally, he came out with his next
album Fierce Heart in the early '80s.
Winwood co-produced and provided
a little guitar, keyboards and vocals.
The song "That's Love" reached the
U.S. top 30 singles chart.
One Man Mission was released in
1984, and Capaldi moved back to
England. "At that stage 1 frankly
didn't feel I had another album in
me."
But Capaldi continued his musical
connections and for three months
worked with the group Santana in
San Francisco.
Shortly thereafter in 1986, he said
he was ready to resume his career. He
met with producers/songwriters
Peter Vale and Miles Walters, and
the three entered the studio in late
1987.
"And this new album, it's the best
I've ever done. Thinking of the
future, I never want to stop making
mucin it ic roolK; tEo KIzxaH rtf lifV* tn
me. I can't stop anyway."
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