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Features * 4 Wednesday, April 8, 1987 the gamecock"""" """"""""""""""""""""""""" 1^" 1m^mtmmmmmmmm Susan: i J Graduate student tells of her old death wish Editor's note: This story is a personal account of a USC graduate student who planned to take her life a little more than a year ago. Tht> nuthnr will ht> "Susan" because of the stigmas often attached to suicide survivors. Special to The Gamecock Suicidal depression. No one really understands it except someone who has experienced it. I have. I am one voice from the other side. . . I am an artist without hands, a poet without words. I am one seeking to be more than one. I am loved and not loved. I am alone together. I am up when I am down. I am an enigma. Susan's problems u to college students, By RONI BEA KAYNE Editor in chlcf , Susan planned to take the f< sion. The step between rea conscious ? suicide. "You feel like no one ca you're not 101a you are iovcu alone," said the USC graduate templated suicide more than i "You feel like you can't ex | more," she said, attributing h< to growing problems at home Susan's problem is a chemic body, for which she takes mec she becomes too depressed, si centrating, or worse, can emc i "People like myself hav< They constantly set goals to esteem. When they fail becau: IT" ME CO# McDLT Sandwich, extra U Get a McDLT meal at a sp< A McDLT Sandwich?the < tomato, cheese, pickle, c fries?30% more than ou drink. Only $2.89 plus ta> MrHonalH'*? 091 <*nmtc>r ITSAGC FOR THE GRE <"1987 McDonttld't Corp. 1 ^ m THE REFL! I -4 YOU A |5 Gil M WHEN YOU I |?1 SHIRT IN t I (Tank Tops & |:| CHOOSE I "TOP" MANI PEPE JIMM PLEZURE MIX B( FRENCH CONN CODE Bl niR portrait My depression is the result of a chemical imbalance in my body. You might say it is like diabetes, but with a stigma attached. The stigma became affixed to me .when my condition was given a label, and when I went to the hospital. I did not go to a regular unit in the hospital. I was put on "the floor;" the floor that everyone knows what it is, no matter what euphemism is attached to it. VI black cloud9 The stigma burned deep when someone who knew me saw me on that ward and said, "How could this happen to you?" The stigma will come back to haunt me cupru tim#? I fill r?nt n inh an. plication and get to the question that asks, "Have you ever been universal a goal beyond studies say cff^s?y peoPi their problem; pain," she sail "Suicide is atal step of depres- back before d} lity and the sub- something," ! suicide of ires. It's not that Napthali. I; it's that you feel "Someone : student, who con- may be puttir i year ago. they are sever pose yourself any- But Susan si :r suicidal thoughts Napthali wenl , school and work. saying goodb> :al imbalance in her Survivors o lication. She said if getting and k tie has trouble con- "no one likes I )tionally collapse. said. ; low self-esteem. "Sure, peo] enhance that self- really don't w se they set too high Susan said DLT ABO irge fries, aitd a large drink. >rlal nriro fnr a limitort fim/> UVKJI IV?^i IVI VI IIIIIIWVVI UlllVt 5nc with the works?lettuce, unions and more. Extra large r large fries and a large soft l For a limited time. Only at Street. Through 5/15/87. >OD TIME AT TASTE ISm,. EX WILL GIVE I jT CERTIFICATE I iUY ANY SPRING [ rTTTT? OrpADT?! p inn* oiuiviiii r T-Shirts Excluded) | ; FROM SUCH sf [JFACTURERS AS: ji i'l SURF FETISH IN HOMME NORFLEET ? I IECTI0N TOMATO cii * nnrir n I - .&.U IV ECTIONS \ \ ' 4 of suici hospitalized or treated for an emotional or mental disorder?" For me, suicidal depression is like living in a black cloud pouring pain into emptiness. The days are too long, the nights arc too short, and the dark and the cold don't go away. A part of me wants to die; another struggles to live. Before I was hospitalized, I planned to kill myself; but, like their capabilities, it has disastrous le believe suicide is a solution to s. but it is onlv "a release from d. an act of anger, a final striking /ing. You are angry at someone or she said, referring to the recent graduate chemistry student, Jose who appears cheerful and happy ig on a false front. Down inside, ely depressed." aid all suicidal people act different, t out with his friends as a way of re before killing himself, she said, f suicide attempts have difficulties eeping jobs and friends, because to be around unhappy people," she pie ask, 'How are you,' but they ant to know your problems." society is intolerant of mental I N Tennis " Singles/ Sponsored by I j And Intramural Anc Women, Men, Co-Rec Divisions $3.00 Entry Fee i FINALS TO KAPPi APRIL ; BELL L__ _ T STUDENT! &S1 J Take t ^*2Lgg ! systems When Toul Performance I* Ihe onl) option. OFFERS YOU: IBM P.C. COMPATIBLE MICROCOMPUTERSX and much,/ much x more / ;h / cS^ A IPm f |pln| I ?52555B ' * '* * k~ PCaH4g8M . tco ?? owi, Wjttfri'M *4CKn?u ' fssiB 5 * *> '*** EES i On* ??? ??m * *?,>*'??*?i* Mn^y Pia. : *%&,. /,om COQQ m-toi-M* i* t**c ftwpfTj** iCO em D+pty MO? BfcJW/ Ow4 JV>* ?Vv?? '" $1399 ide plai "My signal was, 'I am putting my life in order.' People who are preparing to die will put their affairs in order." 'busair Contemplator of suicide most potential suicide victims, I sent out hidden message signals that an alert family member correctly interpreted. My signal was, "I am putting my life in order." People who are preparing to die will put their affairs in order. Being nospuaiizea was iiKe losing a month out of my life. For some people the hospital is a haven; for others. . . something else. To know what it would be disorders like depression. Her away, and she consequently ha< ficulties, she said. Susan's psychotherapist, Rog Columbia Psychiatric Associates, generally prejudiced against sur\ attempts. "People don't want to hi associated with you. They reac crazy." Rick Gant, a graduate student tion with a degree in mortua funeral service, recently compl paper about campus suicides nat In his paper, Suicide on Camp Student Personnel Administrat suicide as the second leading among college students in the Un accidents. A r J .1 A I A A vjaiu iuunu auuui iu pciccui who attempt suicide succeed, arc dent suicides has doubled in th< Also, males are more prone to su Pf r ourney Doubles <appa Alpha Psi 1 Recreational Sports Play Begins Tues. April 21 Thru Sat. AdHI 25 Play Times 2:30 - 10:00 PM BE HELD AT ft FEST 25. 1987 CAMP ?wmmmm hi? ia?i i nm S, FACULTY, rAFF i Look... ?'J r ^JSi 7j . IIM HAM "* ._m 'IMNCmi * . n-J.K DM'WO 'v ?, ^ \ K?? 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Deiore tne suiciae a >us: The Role of "The prevention ors, he named the early recognitio cause of death students to commi ited States, after others about their i He advocated si of the students management progr 1 the rate of stu- hotlines and alcoh< e past 15 years. as ways to deal wii icidal tendencies programs already e Chocolate I m LOTS OF VANILLA ICI COVERED WITH REAI * WALNUTS AND TOPF CREAM & PLUMP CH *| ^ GOOD H ^ TWO DAYS V Z* ONLY v?S m A AK\\ 9 CXXJPdN EXPIRES TOMOI SOFTEK F ' Tka lOTTfK tampvlar ?M davalapa* andaf contract tor I tOFTCK co<T>auUri km baa* tfcaroagkly UtUd and ffr MaMoamaat. SOFT IK MfflMtoa km k*M purckaaad a fMcm, catlafat, unl<rtftnt??, ptMk and arlvato aclt?? tantk C*rt4lne. lack SOFTCK Mmaatar camaa a tod ant faaraataa ai taff?aUkHWy mi Mttttocttoa (an tOFTIK I ] Z MOTE NEW LOWE i ew. rwf vity MM ttmpllMt Un Mm IIMXT. F?H1 MOK Hi MUM*) H|M gfeU. ISO vrt power MM*T. iMfrMM Mt U4 Mftwara. 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As you think about these hings, remember that you are itill a lucid, intelligent human beng with feelings and emotions. you are not mentally retarded or deranged; you are depressed. If privacy and personal dignity are important to you, and if you imliiA imnr inHii/iHiialttv vnn will T ttlUV JVM A ^ w? chafe at hospitalization under f|) i these circumstances. What is life like for someone who is suicidally depressed? For See "Suicide," page 5 married people are more at pie. said suicide rates are higher dying humanities than those "* '1 *- -?*? MiltAea r\or/?ntc at I1U SIUUC11I3 nnuav. |/aibn>i> ?v a higher incidence of suicide arents did not. are 10 times more likely to (||i i black students, he said. f the students who attempted it it ahead of time and gave :es of their intentions. are found to peak a month ittempt," he stated. of suicide really depends on n of symptoms, and teaching inicate more effectively with problems." uicide prevention and stress ams, crisis centers, telephone )l and drug abuse counseling nnu nf fhoco I Ill uvpi VOSlV/ll ITIUKI^ vra iiivav I jm- | xist at USC. tli I v i / > SUPER COUPONS V ^ \. Mut Sundae* E CREAM, # _ MILK CHOCOLATE, >EDW/WHIPPED . ERRY... 39 7 * : EA- PER COUPON J iRDW Mlf.HT AT 10PM A ''4087 ' C/XT/AT iia StaU at laatfi Carolina (J.C. StaUCantratf 1-HB-64471). irW fry Um |.C. Stat* Oaeirtmant ti latarmatloo Rmmixm ?4 art carraatN ta titration M mas* S.C. 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