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Page 10 ? April 3, 1985 Entertainment THE GAMECOCK * 'Baby' dead as By Ron Shsridan "Fantasia" was cxhilirating; "Snow White and the seven Dwarfs" was fun; even "Splash" had more to offer than sexual overtones. But Disney's grown-up offspring, Touchstone Films, has created a film chock full of congenital defects. ^ - * ?* * 1?? A^t.. "Bauy: aecrei 01 inc losi Lcgcnu is, su^jjujcuij, uumj a answer to E.T. It has all the ingredients: a cute, lovable creature of unknown genetic structure, the sympathetic human, unwitting accomplices and plenty of chase scenes away from the bad guys. So why doesn't it work? Because the movie lacks emotion. Neither the writers, director B.W.L. nrnHiipnr Innathon Tnnlin hr?ther<*d tn nurture l^V/l IUII VI pi VUUVV1 JVIIMWIU.I a vv...w.vw "Baby." into the warm and loving movie Disney fans expect. No'one cried when Baby's daddy died. No oohs or ahhs broke the deadened silence of the movie's opening show. In "E.T." there were more tissues on the floor than popcorn boxes. In "Baby", there were more empty seats. ' REMEMBER WILLIAM KATT, the forgettable star of "The Greatest American Hero?" He's even more unbearable as the star of this movie. ^B^^ByKjrT , J^ltti^?iipPvli r J * . ii iiteps r?^]' yf^yL^-^j}T i _^JflMH Horror classic Director Tod Browning used actual circus freaks in his ii House Theatre Monday. The plot concerns the freaks' revi Third Bioom Coun I By Tracy Mixson It's time for "Bloom County"-fans to take anoth> dandelion break with creator Herke Hreatnea s latest noo "Penguin Dreams and Stranger Things." Released last week in area bookstores, this third installme of Blooin County cartoon collections reprints the past year antics of Milo Bloom, Mike Binkley, Steve Dallas, Bill the C and, of course, Opus the Penguin. While addicted Bloom readers will find many of the siri familiar, the book, which includes a photo album of tl characters, daily comics from the past year and two sections < color Sundays, is still well worth the $6.95 price. THE STRIPS BEGIN with Opus, who wants to spei Christmas with his mother in the Antarctic. To get there, ! jumps aboard a Greenpeace ship planning to stop a Sovi whaling fleet. As the Soviets draw near, the environmentalists announ they will place themselves between the whales and the Russi, harpoons. Alarmed, Opus suggests, "Whaddya say we ji moon 'em and run?" Such is the humor of Breathed, who takes on everything, i eluding nagging mothers, Michael Jackson, Wait Disne Ronco TV orders and The People's Court. It's true: Nothi is sacred within the boundaries of Bloom County. Introduced in 1980 in syndication by The Washington Pos Bloom County is now printed in more than 6,700 daily a college newspapers ? "Nearly but not quite as many as 'Ns cy oremiicu wmcs. HIS THIRD BOOK, "Penguin Dreams" is as good, it r better than Breathed's first two works, "I.oose Tails" a " 'loons ror uur nines. In the latest book, readers follow Milo and his crew throu campus revolts, the 1984 political campaign and countl ** rlin AOfllKlK floCIl a yinuoaui, u&au The plot of "Baby" is unsurprisingly simple. An ambitious young paleontologist (Sean Young) and her sports journalist husband (Katt) are off in the middle of the African jungle searching for a species of animal whose meat is poisoning the natives. On a remote island, they find a prehistoric brontosaurus family complete with mom, dad and baby. Great, now the cuteness and cuddliness the audicncc has bccn-anticipating for over 30 minutes is about to warm their hearts. Wrong. Dead wrong. This is where "Baby" should have been aborted and reconceivcd. Patrick McGoohan plays the evil Dr. Kiviat, who has also been searching for this prehistoric family so he can load them up on a ship and take the credit for an amazing discovery. How many times does this tvoe of plot have to be used before someone puts a stop to it? ISIDOKO RAPONI,technician who created the dinosaurs, certainly should not be blamed for the lackluster performances of the film's stars and their inability to suspend the audience's total disbelief in the action or plot. Baby is cute. He does cute things, but director Norton fails miserably to focus on any credibly funny moments. ??' - rf _ ^r TSBBBBf^L* fip^' 0 ^HfiBmllSTOik uSrV^HBOBBl lfamous 1932 horror movie "Freaks," to be shown in the Russell snge against a cruel carnival performer. ty comic collection | k, rtFVA I SwsMy. x-rmoiR \ ft I TM IXUf, KMMO Ui , V*-K I n x*? it m iji mmu. m ;J^"a,rT"or,?i25c*T S M ? *j HAJAUZtP WZW. AUtV at jgjf ^ ' Jf V NSTAAMHT: CAT CMS NfMLY OM4I - *rhef*ncf ' n r^kWt MtiWP MOST MP' PS B hakiuaaiihm^* WWWf tfAfMHfrlWWyS 5 [MWDHHIDI gigid *** nc im <**** v* * rww%,. jrw m/j | hmjhv im rw- wnn 'PMA&iAf* 113sgS& ?^ymcumyo^ HHH A^MtifON A6NHt AhhHK^ JLiL. ng ' strange dreams and things to entertain tne woria 01 me sugnuy >t, slanted. nd There's Binkley and his closet of anxieties, the wheelchaired in- Cutter John and woodland friends riding the starchair "Enterpoop" in search of "the untamed planet of intoxicated nurses," and "stud-in-training" Steve Dallas, who i< lot devastated by Time's announcement of the end of the sexua nd revolution. Dallas is the man-you-love-to-hate, and there's plenty tc igh love in "Penguin Dreams." In one year, this character musi ess defend Bloom County's ax murderess, Mrs. Whacker, make irves extinction g There are some cat and mouse antics, all quite predictable, before Baby ends up nose deep in a pair of Fruit of the Looms. This produced one of only two chuckles irom me auuicntc. ? The other came when the ending credits rolled. But there's more to Touchstone Films, although a division of Walt Disney Studios, considers itself more mature than "family fare" and strives for the coveted PG rating. They seem to have chosen the sick humor route, including racism and sexism, to attract a more mature audience. Near the beginning of the movie, Katt tracks down a wife a who has forsaken her career in search of this beast. Katt ^ charters a plane and finds himself in the cockpit with an African lunatic who does loops dangerously close to the treetops. When Katt tells his sad tale to the adventurous fellow, he gets some interesting advice. "It sne were my wnc, I'd slap the bitch!" So much for a family film. "Baby" is a bomb because no one involved with the production bothered to watch any heart-wrenching Disney films to see how master craftsmen of family entertainment produced a movie. If Walt were alive, he'd be ashamed. Avant-garde album f is landmark effort | Rw (Irian Pomfirov It's hard to file Laurie Anderson under any of the usual music categories. Her unique poetic style, bizarre instruments and elaborate stage shows work together to set her apart from all contemporaries, and her "United States Live" extravaganza documents a landmark in avant-garde "performance art." This five-disc set, recorded during Anderson's 1983 perfor- ^ mance of "United States, I-IV" at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, is a montrous concept in which Anderson recites, sings <%nA f?Ht ihrniinh a harmoniypr her views of life in these United States. MUCH OF IT sounds like a poetry recital, but some of the tracks come out like stand up gags. Anderson opens "Classified" with these lines: I came home today and you had rearranged all the furniture. And you had changed your name. A I ' ??? '/*?! ufAar tKnt r%in_ctrirw*/4 chirt hpfnrp /\11U I U licvci 3CCII JUU V* ?.UI uiai pm-Oiiipvw juiii wv. w. v. And then I realized, I was in the wrong house. Others, like 'Finnish Farmers" and "Difficult Listening Hour," contain an obvious sarcastic edge. "City Song," in ^ fart mntictc entirelv of "There are ten million stories in the Naked City, but no one can remember which one is theirs." Of course, music is not forgotten here, for "United States Live" has its share of intriguing instrument solos. Among the album's musical highlights are "O Superman" and "Born, Never Asked." ONE CONSISTS of contact microphones hooked to a pair of glasses. When worn, they allow Anderson to drum on her head. In "Small Voice," she puts a pillow speaker in her mouth, then moves her tongue to make different tones. Harper and Row has published Anderson's corresponding book, "United States." Besides possibly being the world's You might regard Laurie Anderson merely one step beyond Dcvo or just as an obnoxious noisemaker. Remember that on- ^ I ly those willing to sit tight and fasten their seat belts will appreciate Anderson's wild ride. pokes fun at life HtARribo... ~7rs Ml A MOW MYTH. tOMK* HtU'TMT TMEff b tiO PCft hVfjk flWltH QAKUJtf' hTHtCmXMHWSTKY r\ , imin.jOn.w,vm Jt?L tmXTMHMOir \ _~g1Jra_. A mwky ^ i w ?2??ZXJ22!t> AX / KNOU BTMrtWOMXE ? mmwJS9.Heicu>Mcimt viJw-rir TEr ZjT^ oawtPMWMravmtMaHHts neconf urt /? shkuy m*uw. icrf.. a rHaJii^' \ THE <*W HM> CtfMLY ?*/ rm "ww n urva TtikPJj WJf Klti. I 4//^^ 'IliMlti/ 1MT MUiO- r/Wff (rmn ZwtvmMuMmsn MFT\ AMPfwrvseMY JrKfr C* rir rt"?V Wlf A9*< \\U8M ufrTM "rtt/K / -mm Ht mm tu mi v\QHKP^r "W5, ^ . mortar,, STOU Afy \JWB^vi>, m I mftat* tun nut n?m W watfHBHBDtK \ my urn. i net* sm ?x i3 m y m *Nt AM. if>i vnn liwwiwscwffm l a f f an MTV video with woman rocker Tess Turbo, and loses a ' ' case in the People's Court because he's a "total jerkface." I I AND ALTHOUGH everyone would like to, who could , forget Bill the Cat, who supposedly died of acne over a year 1 ago? Well, he's back, as Breathed paradies "Wired," Bob Woodward's esnose of John Belushi's unbridled lifestvie. in > "Frazzled: The Ugly, Sordid Life, Death and Rebirth of Bill t the Cat." 5 See "Bloom," page 11