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.entertainmer QiAiimminn uvv imiimimi], By Leigh Jones An old-fashioned Fourth of July celebra 1 U _? T^fc l 1 /-> * m a nun 11ciu ai ljcii Lamp ivionaay came complete with the traditional swimming, hotdogs and games for all ages. Sponsored by the camp and the Carolina Program Union's Contemporary Sounds Committee, the day's activities were geared toward all ages. "It turned out very well," said Gretehen 'mTO. '^?S?& - . Xa6tk<r Hm|^i^ n^WHi|^K.,?v foj. :--;. & "> v -> > , A f. ': ^ V-.-'j ? -- B&T. '^^ --x-xsv.-.. { v;:-^ -':,"-.-- _.-.HBittjg^-^^-s . _.?:< . KwWW^B^8^>wB><<3^WKwBwwEBBHB^B^?v^<aii^!^;v "* ?*?"?? ? rnoio uy uavc limine) COOK PREPARES HAMBURGERS At Fourth of July Bell Camp bash 'Yellowbeard By Allison Stein "Yellowbeard" brings together many fine comedians, but the result is far short of the expected laugh-a-minutc British farce. The cast is impressive at first glance: Graham Chapman, Peter Boyle, Cheech and Chong, Peter Cook, Marty Feldman, Martin Hewitt, Eric Idle, Madeline Kahn and John Cleese. Unfortunately,their talents are wasted.In trying to accommodate too many different comic styles, writers Chapman, Cook and Bernard MrKpnna pnHpH nn with a c<-rJ?-v? that simply does not work. THE SCRIPT is a mishmash of various styles, but mostly in the Monty Python vein. A certain delivery skill is required to make Pythonesque humor funny, but only the three cast members who are Pythons have it. The pirate Yellowbeard was the terror of the Spanish Main. During a lifetime of larceny, lechery and plunder, he murdered more than five thousand men ("most of whom were unarmed or at least badly mutilated" he said proudly), debauched a staggering number of women ("as well they r*i i r* K* t * ' Ho olcn r^morl/ii/n o n/1 cf/\l? o fr?rf 11 IIV C4l.iv/ IV.IIHU IW.U/ CIIIV1 .-)iv;iv. CI llilll in treasure. He escapes after a 20-year prison vacation and the chase to find his hidden horde is on. That's all there is to the plot. The film consists of a few gags and a lot of snags. There are a few rare inspired moments. In one, Marty Feldman tries to sneak a woman aboard ship disguised as a crocodile. MOST OF the film is dull, unfunny, con fusing and at times, repulsive. Nearly everyone will be offended b> something in this film. It pushes the limit oi its PG rating by including offensive language, mindless violence, nudity, sadism and sexual suggestivity. Chapman, a member of Monty Python it hotdogs p< Van der Veer, adviser for CPU. "It was a good crowd. The program was good and the bands diverse." The day's events were highlighted by the appearance of four rock bands. The Bachelors of Art were the first to perform. Thf*v YVfM'f hv Tlin 14'imlfilf ,,v^ " VI v ?v/..v/?T VW 1/ T * nv ? Klllliv l,->, VJl^UWI and The Sedans. The games were typical of the summer camp stock: egg toss, three-legged race, cracker whistle, water-balloon throw and a pie-eating contest. There was also a trivia contest and a chance to guess the number of gumballs in a cannister. Most of the games had a children's division and an adult's division. Prizes were donated to the winners by area merchants. "The games were well organized," Van dcr Veer said. "The Bell Camp staff did well in providing games that were enjoyed by all ages." SAGA provided a traditional Fourth of July menu, grilling hamburgers and hotdogs on an open grill. As on any hot Fourth of July, however, the main attraction of tIn* d:iv w;iv tln? water. For those who tired of swimming, canoeing was available. Hiking was also available for the more adventurous types. 141 had a real good time," said Lisa Teaguc, a student at USC. "It was real laid back. The bands were good. They were different, but I enjoyed them. "I was real happy with the crowd; everyone seemed to be having a good time," she said. Van dcr Veer said, 44lt was great tp see students and the community out together and having a good time." The celebration was free to students, facul ly ana stall ol USCJ. Other guests paid a small fee to join in the day's activities. ' wastes taler * played the title role. In addition to overacting and being a completely one-dimensional character, he looks absolutely ridiculous in yellow wig and beard. Most of his lines are simply growls, but he does manage to deliver one marginally coherent speech near the end. John Cleese, also a Python, was superb as Blind Pew, the blind spy with watchdog ears. Although a bit absurd and both the brunt and instigator of some rather sick humor. this refugee from "Treasure Island" gives the best performance of the lot. ERIC IDLE was his usual prissy, Python self as Commander Clement of the queen's 1 H mHNHE $ 9^^BS? PETER BOYLE (L), GRAI^ In one of the hotter moments . (T _ _ I . I m OT C6I6DI CHILDREN PLAY ON SWINGSETi Meanwhile, there was beer for adults, its of top-note secret service. He looks incredibly at home in curly wig and lace, but after playing at least five feminine roles in "The Meaning of Life" and "Life of Brian," it probably comes naturally. ] Cook, former partner of Dudley Moore, staggered through his role of Lord Lam- 1 bourn nobly. Bottle of ale in hand, he looked ( more lost than drunk and totally ridiculous in a wig. Marty Feldman was excellent in his final role as Gilbert, the master of disguise. Although he endowed Gilbert with the wackiness at which he excelled, Feldman did not match the caliber of his performance in Young Frankenstein." Feldman died of a 1AM CHAPMAN HAM IT UP from motion picture "Yellowbeard" ????? I ation warn1 ii ii ii i ii m mm HHKK^^HR^ te^- . ' jbbSS ' m wEt^m^^U fi MeKlM^ffr m Eras wSmk. M ?fp m Wii&SsbeBB&s fl - ilpP&*> . ?j ^mmSe jm R^^^P - :^I R<V 4a>,:':\;. - ^x.. : KyjQ^ :s.^ ^ y : :v;::' Photo by Dave Grimlcy 5 AT BELL CAMP MONDAY contests and music for everyone h comedians heart condition soon after completing "Yellowbeard". Peter Boyle's character, Mr. Moon, was named in honor of deceased Who drummer Keith Moon. Boyle sounded as if he were reading cue cards and obviously isn't acjustomed to wearing a hook. MADELINE KAHN was fair as Yellowbeard's wife, but not very funny. All of her lines sounded the same. Cheech and Chong were painfully bad. rhey were out of their element: there were no drug jokes. Tommy Chong played El Nebuloso (pronounced El Nebulotho), the high priest of a questionable religious cult who is very rich and somewhat sadistic. Plagued with a terri Die nsp, ne souncieci just plain dumb. Richard "Cheech" Marin played El Nebuloso's sidekick and chief inquisitor, El Segundo. He is a terrible over-actor. He can't even speak good Spanish. In the words of El Segundo, "This is terrible!" MARTIN HEWITT played Yellowbeard's son and served no useful purpose other than to carry the treasure map tattooed on his head. Hewitt's only other role was Brooke Shield's boyfriend in "Endless Love." Rock star David Bowie dared to make an appearance as a seaman with a shark fin on his back. The HMS Bounty played three roles ? a British armed merchant ship, a fake French fi iftate. and a Sinanich aia ? _ . ? guuvun ? nnu uiu it fine job of it, too. Even the extreme fans of Monty Python and British comedy will find this mishmash of a movie difficult to enjoy.