The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 06, 1981, Page Page 8, Image 8
Diary Of A Female Athlete
From the time I saw her step from the top of an armored
tank. 1 knew that she was eoinu to hp tnnoh momiiocc
O O " v.vuvou
basketball coach.
Upon closer look, I witnessed a nine-foot leather whip in
her left hand and a playbook in her right. She had a
mysterious look on her face, shielded by thick sunglasses and
an army helmet. Her stylish bright red dress clashed with
her spiked heels.
She walked onto the court with an arrogant swagger and
the click of those obnoxious heels on the wooden floor almost
Miaou mo nauseous.
'ir.'i s (,(). practice you worms," She bellowed in a
booming \oiee. " We'll be out on this court tor at least eight
hours U lay so don't make any plans."
The first thing She did was tell the players she wanted to be
known as Coach God. She said She came from Kings
Dominion \niwscnient Park in Virginia. Before that. She was
.1 prison v m; vi at Salt Lake City Correctional Institute.
Starting .nidice. She made each player run 7.f>(M) laps
around ih* jjvm, Then She put the basketballs in a small
cannon Vh- wheeled onto the court and tired them to
membiVN , : e team. If vou didn't catch the ball, the brass
knuckles a: k 11 t
".'ha! i,i>i da; at practice was unbelievable Three girls
Dent :f .ir firs' lii'hi in 111 h.wnit.*?! M-itn iimtnn hmhw tu^
'O * w . . i t i ? ? 4 * / I \ \ II v I I I 1 I ?T . L \^ \ I
oi: er> Ma-.: racfured skulls and one player had a massive
: carnnu ciube-lded in her ri^ht car
Ml!. 1 \\ vs luck \ .jus' a sprained wrisl and broken nose
: he next day of prac'ice. the i oach was surprisingly nice lo
as. She look us ou! n a:nia ' ..no complimented us on a jjood
practice "\Ve ww oi iuddied. How could somebods be so nice
re day and h:?i'hi* next'.
1' a as (u:: " . mu wi !he season lhal really worried mi'
Chamber Music r
at Township
The Chicago Symphony Group members include
Chambers Players will bring Samuel Magad. concert
their special brand ot master; Milton Proves
chamber music to the viola; Joseph Golan, violin
Township Auditorium Frank Miller, cello. .Joespr.
Sunday at 3 p.m. Guatafeste. has- Uor^.ri
This presentation is a part Peck. flute \T
of the University oi South Henoch, or.-oe Larr. Corr.
Carolina Cultural Series clar:r.e-. a:?.;:o\.
which will feature principle r. o r. i r. *: Ijd.e
players from ihe Chicae- C.*ver.2er rvorr
Symphony Orchestra Ac- v'.vrar..- :r.<: cor.cer'.
cording to music critics, the r i
group is one of the most e:: : r. r? ir.: :
talented and provocative airir.g v. >rr.a..
o K 1 -v. - f :
^uowiiiuicn i iiji in i n ^ cnamrAT c:7..-r rr.r. - r.c
today. irorn Mozart to P.st;r. As i
IN KVKMV SENSE. result, the;. project a
these pen or mors are the combination of outstanding
creme de la ere' >e." writes virtuoso execution with the
John Guinn. a crit c with tin intimacy of collaborating
Detroit Free Press. "The musical minds
musicians project all the
best earmarks of chamber TICKETS TO the permusic
playing, including formance are on sale at the
artist if intf?ll<;itv Ilfsf Travol Pnntnr i ? >
...%v.iw,v^ UWIIIVVIIHVO i i U T\vl V/V I 1 (A. I 111 IIK'
nissing from those groups Russell House for $<> and $5
'hat play chamber music for the public, and $3 and $2
exclusively." for students.
[? PKA I
FULL CONTACT KARATE
Live?Sat Feb 7-8 PM
EH TOWNSHIP AUDITORIUM WffiW
3ES 36 ROUNDS OF KARATE flBH
ACTION
! ' S
Mike "Kino Cobra" Coles vs. JefffCripper
7i UJ SUSTHAMD /-#-?. ??
^ ^ r vwkumDlM a UWN
SE uj | For the U.S. Championship
i i
3E
Zi z Mike Moore vs. Kenneth Rooks
?> Middle weight Contenders
cx. lu 1
I o 1 UCr foam ut riomrft?
featuring Mike Genova, John Orck,
a Mike Goldman
ft 5 s Columbia's Kicking Gamecocks
Tickets $9 ringside- $7 Gen. Admission
($5 Student & Military tickets at auditorium box
office until 6PM Feb 7)
AV/AII API C AT
TOWNSHIP AUDITORIUM BOX OFFICE/TAYLOR ST PHARMACY / PARKLANF
PHARMACY/W COLA MUSICLANO/COLUMBIA MAI L / WILLIAMS
MUSIC/ORANGEBURG SEIKO MUSIC/SUMTER
OR CALL TODAY 782-3960
I DON'T YOU PARE MISS ?Tt
BBBBwSfpfBMHHils
We were playing Rochester Tech and leading 45-14 at halftime.
Coach God had taken seditives on the bench during the
first half and was amazingly quiet. We silently sat in the
locker room at halftime and waited for our leader.When She
arrived, She kicked over a rack of Cokes and threw her
plastic bracelets against a locker. She ranted, She raved and
when She was finished, our locker room looked like a famous
battle scene with half the players having been hurled against
the walls. The Coach walked back onto the court as if nothing
had happened.
As time went on, things got worse. Assistant coaches were
fired, players quit and those who stayed suffered irreversible
brain damage. Some stayed in a state of brainwash and the
others were just plain stupid.
Coach Clod didn't let it bother her. Her eyes remained
hidden by sun glasses with a machine gun by her side. I Hiring
one game. She just missed shooting an official by inches.
After that, she fired at us during practice.
KKiHT AT THE end of the season, things became
ridiculous: A te *n psychiatrist sat on the bench next to
Coach at all tlu games. During one oi the contests, she t
played solitaire on the court in front ot the bench. Another
time she built a pyramid of empty plastic cups. At one game,
she sat at the top row of the auditorium and threw popcorn at
I he officials
One time, she was given her second technical foil! of 'he
?ame and walked off the floor after she 'ook all the basket Kills
with her. At another match. She laid down in the middle
)i me court ;incl threw a temper tantrum
l don't know how 1 lasted those tour Raines undet Coach
r,()(i 1 really don't sleep very much here at the sanitonum
>ut the nurses are nice to me At least none <>! them spend i
our hours blow drying their hau
LILY TOMLIN IN /
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LILY TO Ml IN C.HARl F.S G RODIN
I Mi iNCRLDIBLf. S
Written by JANL WAGNf.R Musk by SU/Af
Executive Producer jANF: WAGNLR Directed b
Read the JOVT: Book Copyright 1980 by Ui
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1 U 11 I ?T llK, WT . T - H . T 1 T s
KN EPIC COMEDY
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J N! D ftf-Af! Y A LIJ A Production
HRINKING WOMAN '
sINf: CIANI Produced by HANK MOONJf AN
y JOEL SCHUMACHER A UNIVERSAL PICTURE
City Studios. Inc