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Entert Allen By David B&kor FMm Critic "Stardust Memories," Woody Allen's tenth directorial effort, which he also wrote, is a complete success at what it sets out to do. That is, however, neither entertaining nor enlightening, two qualities that we have come to expect irom anv uroiect with which ^ Allen associates himself. Like the sad-eyed puppy lhat turns vicious after he's been petted too much, Allen has turned on his audience, making his admirers out to be fools simply because they enjoy his work. "Stardust . Memories" is Allen's filmatic equivalent to standing atop the World Trade Center, putting his thumbs in his ears, waving his fingers, and telling all humanity to goto hell. It's almost inconceivable that a filmmaker of Allen's ^ '" I p ^ ' I* Jt p FftOPiCANft L ? m j v Jessica Harper and W character almost identica Costell By Maik Plai If the . oad to riches v\ Uv included a prerequisite < arrogant, crass and inno' IClvis Costello story could U careers. In a span of three si cosieno ?inert1 s oniy one i sham ul conventional mainstream tastes by bre ;n the book. His appearane his personality is unpopuhi and his songs are long if p minutes. Costello has shuifled to labeled albums since 1977 production work of the bril and still has his fans screar "My Aim is True" ai Model' established Costel new wave rocker with the j a listener's attention bv humdrum of a synthesi/er, toned, gargled singing. Ki entrenched himself w here 1 his greatest rewards - iYrt'fA With the Attractions,-M* ?lten unnamed backup ti done something which is released hit albums from tl improved on them with production. The fact that Costcllo las {wo albums, and came ba the stupendous "Armed F i978, had people truly bel iust a Buddy Holly clone combination of attention-gr The London whiz was r voice seldom played on th< ;ainmer 'hirnt SU^VLJHL JL IV. warmth and insight could concoct a film so odious and insulting, especially since his most recent projects were so obviously born out of love. "Annie Hall" came from Allen's love for Diane Keaton, "Interiors" from his love for Ingmar Bergman films, and "Manhattan" from his love for New York. THIRTY MINUTES before the picture ended, my companion, an avowed Allen fan, announced in words more colorful than my own that she could stand no more of Allen's condescension, and that she intended to sit in the lobby until the movie was over. Meanwhile, I waited in the auditorium, hoping the movie would be saved by some brilliant comic flourish that was never to come. As most Allen fanatics know, his past few comedies have been growing more and oody A/len star in "Stardu / to himself. o's lates te personality wl microscope. 1 tured or anal e music business tollowing wit! of being brash, Happy," prob vative, then the The only lunch a thousand Costello was recording his lort years, Mr. "Party Girl" Elvis) has made Costello hasr U.S. because of t aking every rule compositions e is unattractive, "Chemistry C ir with his peers, brilliantly wt lav ed over three the diehard C His latest i pother five U.S. "Taking Lib< w ith the inspired vague stab ; lliant Nick Lowe, knowhehasn ning for more. A typical Cos id 'This Year's easily forgetl lo as a bonafide of songs beinj ability to capture "Taking 1 ' the consistent tunes, but nu or with his deep- songs that m; ther way, he has Talk" and " le's likely to reap are B-sides o UriUttf 'Htcttta.' 1 MiK'-HhnW' h rio, Costello has The proble unique. He has remakes arc ie oeginnmg, ann onginais. n J each successive sent home a better reworl ted alter his first become hits, ck stronger with excellent soi orces" album in extended in ieving he wasn't monotony at capitalizing on a mighty jump abbing names. as it appeare nAr'e than just a About half ? radio. He was a its number ol 'on! more auiooiograpnicai, an< "Stardust Memories' continues in that trend. Ii fact, the line between Allei and the character he i portraying disappears en tirely here. Allen is Sand; Bates, an Oscar-winninj filmmaker famous for hi off-the-wall comedies, who i forever being driven t distraction by a sea of loya fans. The picture is set at th< Stardust Hotel, where ; prominent female critic ii staging a "film weekend,' with Bates as the feature< guest. Intercut into this stop are scenes depicting Bates problems with the women ii his life: Dorrie (Charlott< Rampling), Isobel (Marie Christine Barrault) ant Daisy (Jessica Harper). Also included in the rathei ncoherent narrative an snippets from the hit films Bates has directed, and c ;t Memories," a movie it relea o critics tried to hold under ;ut Costello couldn't be ca] rzed, and baffled his fervei a 20-song 1980 release, "G ibly his finest work to date, ime people took notice .vhen Linda Ronstadt start< compositions like "Allison and "Talking in the Dark 't received his own airpl; in pnrtnocc Af hie cr?r?cJc IV VU1 VI tllkj UVt *0 | like "Love for Tender lass," and "Radio, Radio," ; tten, are only appreciated I >stello fan. elease, or re-release, entitl rties," does just that. It is t letting Costello's audien t dropped out of the pop seer tello track is short, making able in the wake of thousan released each day. iberties" gives us 20 mc ny of them are remakes of t de him famous, such as "Gii ralking in the Dark". Otht simile releases, and there ;i Wave never bef(j >!A n with this album is thai \ simply not as good as t almost as it Costello had be id forced to come up with ing of tunes that have alrea It just can't be done. Kven t ig, "downtime is Over," 0 a state of excrueiati hree minutes and 39 seconds from two minutes, 211 secor 1 on his last album. )f this album works because songs. lis folk d handful of flashbacks to ' Bates' childhood, each of ( n which was included, and n used more effectively, in s "Annie Hall" as one of Alvy I i- Singer's childhood flash- ] y backs. 1 g THROUGHOUT the s seemingly endless 89 s minutes of "Stardust 0 Memories," Bates is 1 descended upon by patheticlooking creatures who: 1) e want his autograph on a < a piece of paper or, in the case j s of a bizarre-looking you ng woman, on her left breast, 2) i ask him to contribute to their / favorite charities, 3) want to be cast in his next picture, or i 4) are just dying to nave nim 3 read their hilarious new screenplays. Typical of the \ picture's sour attitude, one of the scripts offered Bates is r a comedy about the Guyana i massacre. < > With the exception of i Bates and his ladies, the i 1 I I ^v^-v:' :,. Xt \i% ^! ^.' "~~?? . in which Allen portrays a se full ol a 44(I Don't Want to Go to) < p- unreleased single, is a fine exa nt Costello, the kind of music that listen to its throbbing lyrics a beat. The pithy, 44My Funny \ ?f pure Costello, with a solo voice -d song throughout the entire one 25 seconds. ''Stranger In the 1 attempt at country and we *y which works well as "a tor so output. *11 ffl by ed I i^l |?S H' ie. 9 ii^ it H - Ik ds J/?! IgM jgjjjfl ' he ris m ~ v ^ : ;rs ire - " )vii dy B is ' Elvis Costel/o and the / i of The album includes sever, ">u/pr? appearance of the picture's every character ii nauseating. They're slack jawed with bulbous noses thin, scraggly beards hiding pockmarked faces, huge hairy moles on their chins whatever unattractiv< feature you care to nam< will be seen on someone ii this movie. And Gordor Willis' ultra-high contrast black and white photography only heightens theii ghoulishness. Inasmuch as disgust fo these escapees from car nival sideshows is the onl; emotion rendered by Bate in the course of the picture we can only assume tha Allen is equally repelled b; the people who made hin one of America's to] boxoffice draws ? us. ALLEN'S FINAL insul comes at the film's end when the actors appear a themselves and rebuke th picture in which they've jus been seen. Such an epilogu only adds to the viewer' feeling that he's been invitei to Allen's house for a forma dinner, only to be served , plate of cow chips. This is not to say the ''Stardust Memories" i wholly devoid of merit. Th nnlv <;f>pnp? that wnrlr in i V"V ~..wv * however, are those whic harken back to Allen earlier, more successfv films. The excerpts fror Bates' films, for examph contain some of the be: moments of Allen slapstic since "Sleeper." Pai ticularly funny is the seer in which the hostility of th Bates-Allen character, in th form of a Bigfoot-tyj creature, escapes and go< on a murderous rampage. The ever-so-brief romanti interludes between Allen an Harper work equally wel t>i : ? r.. 11 I I1CSC diu ctllliUol pdllllUiJ reminiscent of the man wondrous scenes shared b Allen and Keaton, the lack < whose presence may hav contributed to the film fforme Chelsea," an However, mple of solid ends. The forces one to either been nd pulsating be on the f ralentine," is failed in th carrying the early to a i minute and who's know House" is an time. Toco stern music has either a igue-in-cheek to control , has both. 1 >? jj& V vi \ttractions have recently 1/ remakes of older song 4 mmmmmmmmmammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmammmmmmammammmm 5 bitterness. (She was in 5 Europe making "Reds" with Warren Beatty.) HARPER, THOUGH, is I superb. Should Allen go back 1 to romance, and Keaton again should be unavailable, 5 Harper would make a 2 splendid replacement. She l possesses the same vibrancy l and sweetness inherent to , any Keaton performance, / and her banter with Allen r comes off remarkably well. Rampling doesn't fare as r nicely as Harper, due in no short measure to the fact y that Allen treats her s character like dirt. Barrault, s, in addition to being miscast, t comes off as too shrewish to y be believable as the saint n Bates portrays her to be. P Allen himsel f is a whining kvetch when the film opens * and a whining kvetch when it ' ends. His character never s changes, never grows. , What sort of stupor must Allen have been in when he decided that his inner j disdain for moviemaking, j and the celebrity status that accompanies it, would be great material for a film? lt Even the most loyal of followers will trail their leader only so far. and with t this self-destructive bomb, Allen has passed the point . where mutiny would be considered a crime. o: aii ? i- i n oniue Alien seems 10 nave j, created "Stardust st Memories" to destroy the k feelings of those who adore r- him, I suggest that those who ie adore him retalliate by ie hitting him where it hurts ie the most ? in the wallet. If >e it's your desire to see a ;s comedy this or next week, try either "Hopscotch" or ic "Private Benjamin." id Admittedly, neither of 1. them comes within light |y years of what Allen aciy complished with either iy "Manhattan" or "Annie )f Hall," but then neither of re them tells vou vou're an idiot 's for having paid to see it. r hits , that's pretty much where it remainder of the songs have heard before.or truly deserve to lip side of singles. Costello has is attempt only because it's too :>mpile "rarities" from a man n, but hardly a legend in his own nsider himself in this fashion one i huge ego, or a possessive desire A ID^ri OOtl rwnnin IT* nuivi ?,an II1U31L. EJIVIO -m - JtKlZ -r/"V j S flj fig H \.fr- HJL NBR f released 'Taking Liberties.' s.