The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, January 21, 1980, Page Page 9, Image 9
Fhilbert
privat
It was freezing that day in
Columbia. My second-floor walkup
office was as cold as the stare of
a jilted blonde. Seems the electric
company had taken exception to
I v\ % t ??/\i v M * I* -- - ? 1 1 *
my iciuiniii^ nifir iasi Dill
wrapped around a week-old trout
and had cut off my power. So I kept
warm in the best spirit of the
holiday tradition. Chestnuts
roasting by an open bottle of
Southern Comfort, and all that
jazz.
Sure, it was Christmas day, but
where could I go? All my family j
had moved without sending me a
forwarding address My friends?
Let rue tell you - when you're a
private dic k, no one's your friend j
at ('hristmas.
So there I sat. mulling over the
odd unpaid hill or subpoena from
my ex-wife's lawyer scattered j
about my desk, when in walks a |
loot-tall elf. "Ilmm, good stuff." 1 .
said, looking at the Southern j
Comfort.
"I need your help." the elf said in
a voice reminiscent of th<? Uei> !
(ices on a i>< )<! day
"Sorry, kid; 1 don't work on
holidays." 1 said, trying to ignore j
the creature's Spock like ears and
pointed shoes
"1 think you'd better reconsider.
Santa Claus is missing "
llmm. The Big SC." Who would
want to knock him off? Oh. sure the
major toymakers had a contract
out on him for destroying their
year round market, and the Flvinn
Reindeer Union was after him ?
something about illegally making
his lead reindeer double as a fog
light. But he had always managed
to ho-ho-hold them at bay.
"Okay, Shorty; move along.
Philbert Foiley doesn't mess with
fat men in red suits."
"What about your brother
Murray?"
"Murray doesn't count. He's a
uotu-vai 9dii:Aiiidii. |
at Catal
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Take this coupon with y
Area and ski all day, an
Thursday, for only $ 10.(
($6 lift ticket and $4 eq
Enjoy the free, open fee
skiing at this special ra
Cataloochee, in Maggi<
Cataloochee has 8 slop
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longest run 5300 ft.,
vertical drop 740 ft.
Three lifts (chair, T-bar
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Foiley:
e dick
"Okay, Foiley," the diminuitive
sideshow refugee said. "We can
make it profitable for you."
"How so?"
The elf hopped up on my desk
and leaned over confidentially.
"All the little tin horns and little
1 Ma^e
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IB 1C State
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I,' v> MEDIA BUSH
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iReserve your 1 979-81
J Only $
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loochee
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y day Mondayuipment
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3 Valley, NC
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Area
This r-c
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1979 80 sea
be ptest
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For ski conditio!
MMaM ______ MMMM
Hi Hi H I
toy drums you can cart away." he 1
whispered
llmm Rooty toots and rummy- j
turn turns won't huv nmcli i
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beef. but there must be a market
lor them somewhere 'I'll take the 1
ease," I said
"Good. We'll he checking in," .
the elf squeaked Then, laying a !
linger aside his nose, he disappeared
in an explosion that ruined
the drapes.
I punched the intercom to my
secretary. "Marci, I'm going to be 1
out for a while."
"What? Who is this?"
"This is Mr. Foiley," I replied.
"The person for whom you work."
Nice girl, Marci. Has the reasoning
power of a loblolly pine tree.
"Oh. okay," she said. "I'll go I
See Left Hand, page 1 1
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Zip % j
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neck and mail to:
NESS OFFICE }b ? I
31, USC, /'S-CX !
SC. 29208 /A 4? ]
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OGarnet & Black Now[|
12.00 !
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^$41
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equipment ^ 3
Rental |g|
1 Si Lift Ticket ^
>upon good lor special j :' !
ment and $6 lilt rates, i ," j
only, when presented
xx'hee Ski Area in the
son This coupon must '
>nted tor special rates ]
lid lor one person only BSI
EQjyilijSB
lili^iSlP^
Kelty The North Pace
B U) MB mblS4lIN O 1
uuainu year 5;
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South Carolina's only complete wilderness outfitter -y
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> 10-6 Sat. 1
Phone: 799 7571
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