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Satir On eating alone There are a lot of things about i hate ? losing your identity, losing; the Humanities Building, losing pencil with which to take a compi or losing a parking place by secon don't present these problems. But all these evils of a big school if I coi for the one thing I hate worst of all Around 5 I start to get hungry numbers in hopes of finding some dinner. About my nineteenth unsuc (the last three to professors), desperate ? I'm ravenous and all gone. A grim realization creeps a am faced with the prospect of ve The Citv to seek nourishment ? alo Once I convince myself that I ar of handling this crisis, I must deci really doesn't matter as long as I c get out in record time without bein only thing in the world known to cui mournful side glance and a sigh gushing sympathy for my predican Next, I make sure I have at ] Mastercharge, food stamps, ar U/inrorr) nnr/l am mt? if i^oi u vaiu v/ii 1*1 j pet ovu uuiuiu | nothing more embarrassing than g realizing you have just enough mo fries ? child's portion. Confident o situation, I embark and try to look with someone. At the restaurant I must thii preoccupation so I don't just sit an to avoid looking pathetic at all co have several options ? I can someone with whom to dine meaningful conversation on the ( quality of contemporary glass-blo\ my checkbook and become dec balancing it as I eat, or I can si glance first ay my watch and th obvious anticipaiton of a dinner pai show up at any moment. The on] these choices is that they all will ir look like a prime specimen for Psychology student's doctoral thes After an eternity of sitting at a t; set for sixteen and pretending to I wine list, the waitress brings my < brainstorm hits me and I ask her f f U /\ / ? %-* f i rr? tvinnl T * 11 titof folrn if n 1 uic ciutic iiicai. t it |uoi iai\c it ai PRATT6 5 AIRCRAi fli Adiv UNITED TE( IWll CAN OCTOBEf Ltointerviei for attractive in HIGHTl Consult your F for degree ai An Equal Op| e by List and eat in s myself. Gat i big university to in little bag! /our sanity, losing with the bill your number-two waiting to f .A ? 1 1 iier-graueu exain, IWds. Small colleges rv * I would shoulder A-ZIoOCP lid exchange them - eating alone. There ha\ so I begin dialing McCarthy's !one to join me at broadcast o: cessful phone call, 1938, the am I start getting Although th my Pop-tarts are derstood, cross my mind; I hypothesize nturing forth into there is one ne. to figure out n, in fact, capable For appro ide where to go. It might be la an get in, eat, and do not take g recoginized. The disco broth rb my appetite is a brain a tin; i from a stranger WXAP. Noi lent. disco tips n least $25.00, Visa, system in th id my Financial I scoff at ?oing out. There is fashions, T oing out to eat and quietly mu ney to order steak come out \ f a stable financial admire Do ; as if I'm walking her name a f I 1 UU I let V ik of a plausible Defaming d eat. The object is liable to in sts. At this point I disco hits arbitrarily select nothing sh( and strike up a feet, (or a j iegradation of the me. ving, I can pull out I have t ;ply engrossed in informatioi t down alone and mixed drin ten at the door in emergency rtner who is sure to guarding ? ly draw-back with could not levitably make me I have c some Abnormal bedspread: is. every one able conspicuously positional be absorbed in the of "Born t dinner. Suddenly a single wit or a doggie bag for malfunctic 1 back to my room true disco i WHITNEY 1 FTGMK9P I ision of [| dhnologies i lite * 31, 1979 w candidates (opportunities | CHNOLOGY | Placement Office jf id field of study j| KKtunlty Employer 3 Miles iolitude where no one can see, I think to hering up my three courses packed neatly s and boxes, I approach the cash register . In front of me are four other customers >ay. Apparently they must all have dogs IIIUSIIUL e been social phenomena in the past ? Red Scare, the effects of the radio f H.G. Well's The War of the Worlds in azing national war effort of World War I. ese phenomena are not completely unsociologists can fairly accurately as to the reasons for such behavior. But social phenomenon they'll never be able ? disco. ximately two years now I have been what belled as a conservative disco maniac. I my fetish to the extremes of some of my ers such as surgically implanting in my . J' A. 1 A- ~ i iicuisisiur iduiu permanently luneu iu r do I own the complete assortment of ail polish (the kind that rivals any light le country in its reflective abilities). those who ruch out to buy the latest disco 'hese people are wasting their money, I ise and patiently wait for Simplicity to vith the pattern. And although I greatly nna Summer, I would hesitate to choose s my mantra. e, however, my own little disco quirks. remarKS concerning (Jasey Kasum are voke aggressive action from me. Certain cause me to lose all muscle control and >rt of novacaine injected directly into my >ood dose of "easy listening"), will sedate o wear a medical necklace giving vital a like my name, blood type, and the k to feed me intraveneously in case of an r. I have taken out an insurance policy igainst theft of my ID, without which I et in to get down. (lack stretch silk curtains and matching s. I have a different colored disco lieht for of my disco moods. I own a multile John Travolta doll and the long version o be Alive" in cassette, 8-track, and disco h back-up copies of each in case of in. There is just one thing I need to be a maniac ? rhythm. NK?D TO \ V SPECIALS NIGHTS \ A J |cS WEEK / I! 1 MONDAY sp C| TUESDAY Me fe Crr P WEDNESDAY La. ' am THURSDAY Eg, Sp I ?CLIP & SAVE ^ Russell He Monday, October 29: Mrs < Miniver (U.S., 1942) is a war film. < It is not, however, a tale of the < battlefield but a story of quiet * courage on the English home front < during the Battle of Britain. You s may, therefore, be surprised to < learn that it won Oscars for best i picture, actress (Greer Garson), < direction (William Wyler), sup- < porting actress, script and t cinematography. Garson in the 1 title role metamorphoses from 1 empty headed uDDer middle class 1 housewife to a monument of courage. You may not have heard of this movie, but you'll be glad you saw it. Walter Pidgeon, Teresa Wright and Dame May Whitty also star. 134 minutes, 7 and 9:45 Free. Tuesday, October 30: For Halloween eve THX1138 (U.S., 1971), a sci-fi shocker from George Lucas (Star Wars), wherein a r future society has taken refuge < underground and has subdued its ] citizens with constant drugging, i Robert Duvall and his girl ] roommate don't know anything < about sex till he experiments with druglessness and gets her to do the same. The consequences of their ~ love are drastic. Duvall must first escape from the all-white room to I which he has been sentenced, and | then from pursuing robot motorcycle cops and horrible mutants. This, Lucas's first film, was originally made as a class project at the other U.S.C., but this version is stunningly professional. Donald Pleasence co-stars. 88 minutes, 7 and 9:30 Free. Wednesday, October 31: The original Invasion of the Bodv II Snatohers (U.S., 1956) tells of j j I Capri' 3p Italiai 734 \ larden St. 799-77 in Five Poiniis SPECIAL< aghetti and Meatballs or th Tossed Salad, choic r/ic Bread, Coffee or Tea inicotti, served with Itah inch Bread and Butter sagna, served with Ant d French Bread and Butte gplant Parmesan, serve aghetti, Italian Salad, Wi ARRI S ITALIA (use Films emotionless pods from outer space :>ne-by-one taking over the bodies 3f all humanity, rendering society a kind of small-curd cottage :heese. This one may not seem so shocking as it once did, because )ur society has become so pod-like n the last 23 years ? witness some 5f our administrators, for example. But don't fall asleep ? hat's how the pods get you. Kevin McCarthy, Carolyn Jones and Dana Wynter star. 100 minutes. 1:30,7, 9:30,11:30 Admission: 75*. nrin \i Wn\mmhor A- A c( Ejang lays bloody seige to an solated police station in a night of terror. Assault on Precinct 13 (U.S., 1977) doesn't sound like a -emake of Rio Bravo, but it is. A :op, a killer and a secretary must defend the station from the gang, rhis early film of John Carpenter [Halloween) stars Austin Stoker, riarwin .Inctnn anH I aurio 7im. Tier. They loved it at the London Film Festival. 91 minutes, 7 and J: 30 Free. -*&*! THE I ( FINEST I ? jf ITALIAN \l DISHES .1 W IN 54 y TOWN -X ; V t ; Meat Sauce, served ^ re of Dressing, Hot=5 ?*> $2.95? < 'an Salad, Wine, Hot $2.95 ipasto Salad, Wine, ?/ $3.75 d with side order of ne and French Bread $3.50 ?1=- t SAVE"