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Baseball explained Baseball was invented, as anyone who watches Carefree Sugarless Gum commercials knows, by Abner Doubleday. Standing around one night at his sister s formal dance, which he found to be in less than the best taste, he remarked, "Boy, what a base ball this is." And you know the rest. In the beginning, baseball's rules went through a period of evolution. Early methods of playing the game included trying to hit a thrown bat with a ball (a style as dangerous as it was stupid-looking) and having to give the umpire a note from your mother before you could steal second. Fortunately, baseball grew out of its quaint early days and gradually became the confusing tangle of incomprehensible gyrations it is today. Simply put. the object of the game is to get all the way around the bases and cross home plate, thus scoring runs. Easy enough, you may think, but as usual, you are wrong. First you have to get "on base." This is assuming that you have been "at the plate," "on deck." "in the dugout," and "passably sober.' One of the first things you'll notice at the plate is that there is a man some distance away, throwing balls at you at 90 miels an hour. One way to get on base is letting yourself get hit by the ball. This is also one way to die. It is possible that you won't get on base at all, though. You might strike out (remember that girl at the mixer who called you a "pimply faced creepy gnome?" Then you understand striking out). Or you may get put out. All the defense has to do is catch the ball you hit before it hits the ground. This hardly seems fair, but it all works out in the end. Or you may get thrown out. which is no reflection on your character. It just means that you, a 200-pound first baseman, a 250-pound umpire, a last-moving ball and several beer bottles thrown by bored onlookers will arrive at a little cloth bag at the same time. And they call baseball a non-contact sport. Defense is also fun to play. Some of the more interesting positions; Catcher: Here you catch the missed pitches, along with a lot of foul tips and a few baseball bats on the head. You crouch in a position thai keeps you from checking out the girls in the stands, and you wear equipment that makes you look like the Boll Weevil that Ate Cleveland A glamorous game, this baseball! Pitcher: Pitchers get to sit around a lot. Too valuable to be injured, pitchers never run bases, don't have to bat and aren't allowed to cut up their own food. But the pitcher is particularly vulnerable to line shots back to the mound; for further information look up Josh "Squeaky" Lee, San Antonio Sopranos, II Castrati Texas League. Manager: A big-league manager has many pressures upon hirr during a game: Should I change pitchers? Should I send in a pinch hitter? How much more tobacco juice can I swallow before I throw u{ all over the bat-boy: Managers must stay in shape, though, so they car go charging out of the dugout to argue every call with the umpire. I does not make for a good impression if your team's manager cannot rur all the way to first base without oxygen. A good old-fashioned sandlot game adds to the spirit of baseball b> introducing the elements of foreign but definitely treacherous objects hiddon in thp {*r;is;s hrnkon windows- h.itc nnH Jind t?nnH Honlthv 0- ? - O" * D"w" ,,X-M " "V brawl just to even things up in the end. NOTICE: In almost every sandlot game, some humorous fellow wil pick up second base (which is usually a piece of cardboard, an old shiri or a small child) and walk away with it, saying "Look, I'm stealing second, har har!" According to a recent edict of the Kules Commission ^ Erxtertair Gamecock entertainment writers' meeting tonight at 7 in room 321 in Kussell House. It is C I found it in ^ I thedassifieds! f UPS1 bl TC OCT ; j ADMl r I ~~~ use GUI > I m iDi I**i ruDkivi I Preferably I r Responsibilities Plan and promotional car cultural spHpc pu !! Administer r budget of over $! supervise prorr rnmmittoo I . VjT I || | II VVW. ' "ArWork with print mass media. i i j October I A? Urn s fc-a iinwi house 3 | llrT:?,iii<ii m il ii'"i' TT. mii'TiT imerit writers important that all current staff * m I _ members attend tor a numoer 01 important issues need discussion. | We Make Photogn I40< ?r 20< -i Ma j|K | |IHBlMBIlliflHIBH I i COMPETITIVE % CAMERAS I 111 j Jmmnnmn ?? "We Teach Yi ^sssssssssssssssssssss rAiD<; Ai rUDENT S/ IESDAY NK 16, 7:30 - 9:1 we re navir ?g? ' to show yo $3? Ki j and to offei iwM1 69 and demon ei at special s answering equipment in problems. / r//4p?fc ^ \ au juu v.dii \ HP-3 head ' .,iH' lu; 'j. lu' ii. '.L .V. "?' '* ' 1 653133 \ inn \ /LVJU /MCCl mmmmmmmmJ Just aCXO: ITTANCE WITH -TURAL SERIES CC NEED! ITY COORI 1 adertisinc elation majc : . Bv * execute voiM.ii npaigns for ents. Build and pc jromotion 3,000. persoi spons< mfinn ci ih. IV/WIVI juu , news, and INTERVIEWS: Tues< 16, 3:30-5:30 p.m. ins itiiflac aWI1 I VILI^J W/1 * IV/C, |JI IVJI IC ee Linda Page or Rlcti >f Cultural series Com meeting New writers are also welcome. Please feel free to call if you are unable to attend this meeting. jphy Easier To Afford f >/o Discount on pnoto Processing \t\ y0 Discount on Darkroom i4> terials !J! JU m 17-2 Diamond Lane intersection 3; EH Shopping ft Center ? DU How" 798-8372 ssssssssssssssssssssssssJ) LJDIO'S \LE 3HT D KA jv r./Yi. ig a sale Tuesday night u the latest in stereo ; r you selected new, used istration equipment avings. We will also be Questions about audio I and solving your audio \nd, if you bring in this buy a set of Yamaha phones for $25. ing St. West Columbia ss the Gervais St. bridge use ID. I )MMITTEE > ^IlilATAD vi\ i or public >rs. its: teer position. experience, resume, jrtfollo. nai satisfaction in Dring a season series. aav, side, room 209, TTD -14 / / /-/ I 3U. i Singer imlttee 11 i ? m 11 ?